RE-RELEASE - Bill Hader

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Speaker 2 I know, yeah, me too. I mean, I'll open the fridge in December and it's like half a pizza and an orange from 1997.
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Speaker 2 Yes. Thank you for not feeding me the leftover lasagna for the 12th time.

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Speaker 1 Dana, we got Bill Hayter, one of our all-time favorites, I have to say. And for most of the audience that likes SNL,

Speaker 1 you hear his name pop up a lot in those,

Speaker 1 you know, sort of first ballot

Speaker 2 Hall of Fame. He's in the conversation.

Speaker 1 You said the conversation is a

Speaker 1 high quality conversation.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 2 We love to, you know, use numbers. He's number seven.

Speaker 2 She's number three. But let's just say he's in the conversation.

Speaker 1 He's up there.

Speaker 2 Of the Pantheon. He's up there.

Speaker 1 And very humble,

Speaker 1 a nice guy. I see him outside of the podcast sometimes.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Good dude, grounded. We went to the same

Speaker 1 community college.

Speaker 2 Hilarious. Oh, I know.
That is funny.

Speaker 1 And I didn't know, and it's so funny how many years could go by where I went to the most random Scottsdale Community College.

Speaker 2 And it really, Scottsdale Community College, Scottsdale Community College, Scottsdale Community College comes up a lot on this podcast from different sources.

Speaker 2 Scottsdale Community College.

Speaker 1 The artichokes. That's what our mascot is.
It's not a joke.

Speaker 2 And the team always artichoked.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we did.

Speaker 1 I don't think they're top that much anything.

Speaker 2 I hit a chord there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it stung a little bit.

Speaker 1 But Bill has so many characters on SNL along with everything else he's been doing. But I like the one where he plays the Vietnam vet that has a puppet.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's got so many. He's extremely funny.
We do get into like, and it was sort of interesting to hear him go into it more than I've heard about it, that he had big-time panic attacks.

Speaker 2 Before he go out on it, and we all had a version of panic attacks.

Speaker 1 At that terrifying cauldron at SNL 8H.

Speaker 2 Yeah, before you go out there, you know, two minutes, you know, cast for Frankenstein's baby. You have three minutes.

Speaker 2 And we all get like, ah, you know, but he apparently was really, really had to manage that, you know. And then you go out there and crush.

Speaker 1 But yeah, it's interesting. Well, let's stop boring everyone and then bore Bill with when we bored him.

Speaker 2 Our goal was to make the intro longer than the actual podcast. We're doing pretty good.
We did pretty good.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Good friend, Billy Hayter.

Speaker 1 We should let Bill talk at some point in this, but not like right away.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's okay. I like watching you guys.

Speaker 1 You've talked enough, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 This is a conversation. Bill Hayter, Bill Hayter.
Hang on. We're not narcissists, but you can ask us questions too.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, I'm moderating. Oh, that's how your podcast goes.
I moderate the discussion between you two

Speaker 2 about your relationship and your time. Bill Bill Hayter, look how much I prepared.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 I was like, Bill Hayter, I know the name.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I know his game.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 2 I know his game. This fucking dude.

Speaker 1 He's got some game, Dana.

Speaker 2 This motherfucker broke all the rules.

Speaker 2 And I love him for it. The rules are every

Speaker 2 fucking guy holding his dick, walking into a boss says, I'd like to direct. And everyone goes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Here's what you do, kid. You put on the makeup, you dance like a clown.
They pay you. You dance.
You're a clown.

Speaker 2 He goes, No, no, I'm not.

Speaker 2 I'm Martin Scorsese. No, you're a fucking bozo and a fucking clown.
Now get this fucking movie from Paramount and we'll give you 20 lodge up front. So Bill says, All right, go ahead, Bill.
Oh my God.

Speaker 2 Mr. Michaels, I would.

Speaker 1 Oh, was that? Was it Lauren asking you to do a

Speaker 1 character movie?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think Lauren wanted

Speaker 2 to do a character movie. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe this summer, maybe when you're on break.

Speaker 2 Maybe. Maybe.
Well, it was just, it was a hard one. It was a hard one to do.
He wanted to do a Stefan one. And then I think John Mulaney and I were like, it didn't work as a sketch.

Speaker 2 That's a good reason. You know what I mean? We're like, it died.

Speaker 2 It died

Speaker 2 twice at the table. And then we did it, you know, a couple of times at dress.
And it was terrible. You know, it just, it was a low energy, weird thing that never worked.

Speaker 2 And so then it was like, okay.

Speaker 2 And, you know. Well, let's just shoot it and look at the whole movie and see.
We can burn it if it doesn't

Speaker 2 work.

Speaker 2 And if you get a little burned or singed, it happens. And we'll take it outside and Marcy will set it on fire.

Speaker 2 We've done this before. set marcy get the wizard lighter fluid

Speaker 2 on my desk next to the lauren i'm going to fly lauren i fly now i'm marcy you dope fraud look at the book of lauren page seven the stuff on it

Speaker 2 the book of lauren boy did you guys have thing yeah yeah we had like yeah we can do a movie and then we were like well it doesn't work as a sketch.

Speaker 2 It kind of just works on update.

Speaker 1 It went from a sketch to update or update to a sketch.

Speaker 2 It did not work as a sketch. And then it was Doug Abels who was running update going, I need something.
What about that Club Kid thing you did?

Speaker 1 Give me that thing that bombed. Do you still have it?

Speaker 2 You know what it is? It's on my desk. Get it in here.
No, that's very... Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, updates

Speaker 1 a little less pressure in a weird way. It's just you doing it directly.
And if they buy it, they buy it. You don't have to rely on a whole thing.

Speaker 2 It worked better when it was like, because, yeah, I don't know. Do you guys remember?

Speaker 2 It's just like, well, remember weird shit just didn't, but just that feeling of like, oh, I got a low energy weird thing. Right.
This isn't going to work.

Speaker 2 And how do you do that in a 90-minute corporate funny vehicle? Yeah, yeah, you can't. We couldn't even take Hans and Franz off their set.
We go, we got to get him off their set.

Speaker 2 So we put him in a campground scene with Al Franken.

Speaker 2 Death.

Speaker 1 Oh, you had a sketch? What about the movie?

Speaker 2 Then we got him on the set and then we're pointing. No, we had the movie written, Hans and Franz the Girly Man Dilemma, but that went.

Speaker 2 That's that's that one would have been good. I think that would have been good, though.
Wait, let's get back to Bill Hill.

Speaker 2 You tried taking them off the set and it didn't work. No, I put church lady.

Speaker 2 It happens all the time where you go, like,

Speaker 2 oh, let's not do the same thing over and over again. Right.
And then you realize, like, no, that's what they like.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like they go.

Speaker 1 Dana, they go, Hans and Franz here, you're in the gym for 19 sketches, and they put you in, in like a store, And they're like, who the fuck are these two people?

Speaker 1 Like, no one even understands a sketch.

Speaker 2 Yeah, not cool.

Speaker 1 Put them in the fucking gym. I know the jokes, and I will laugh.
I know how to do this.

Speaker 2 But you're at home base. You're screaming at the audience right behind the camera.
Yeah, you clean him and you lose us. And then we're over in the corner in 8-H in a quiet campground scene.

Speaker 2 Yeah, would you like another Venus snitch?

Speaker 1 You like some smaller. I think he was wise.

Speaker 2 I think Stefan is brilliant, but I think it might have been a wise decision. That would have been a challenge.
The sketch did not work.

Speaker 1 I mean, it just never worked. You know, Bill.

Speaker 2 You can hear your footfalls on the, you know, it was one of those things where I could hear, if I like placed a glass on a table on the sketch, you could hear it. It was loud.
It was just dying.

Speaker 2 He was like,

Speaker 2 oh, that's the finest.

Speaker 1 Well, Bill, your next question to us is, was there a Gap Girls movie? Which is a good, fair question. There was not.

Speaker 2 But there was a work.

Speaker 1 There was.

Speaker 1 Did did you guys do a gap did you guys write a gap girl you got scared you go did you do one uh oh i didn't see it uh no we we didn't write it but we got scared we uh would not get scared i but i i i know it didn't happen no it didn't happen but it was sort of when i when i thought movies were very easy to come by because i was delusional because one summer we did tommy boy lauren had a deal with paramount it was it was sort of easy like and the next summer why don't you guys do black sheep and we're like great and then next summer maybe you guys could do gap Gap Girls movie.

Speaker 1 And the things that had against it were me writing it, which was probably the first thing.

Speaker 2 And then

Speaker 1 come on now. I was running out of sketch ideas that were four minutes long.
So I remember we did one about Jeopardy because Gappardy just sounded like a funny name for a sketch.

Speaker 1 And then, but there was no sketch.

Speaker 1 And so I go, if me, Farley, and Adam are the contestants, it'll be funny. And Courtney Cox was the host.
And we have to ask her about that because

Speaker 1 that was the first time I wrote something. And I was so joyous that it was on.
And I was just your name on it.

Speaker 2 That's just solely.

Speaker 1 Yeah, first for Gaps girls. And then

Speaker 1 I do it, and Courtney goes, I don't really, I don't really have a thing to play as the host. And I was like, oh, I didn't think about any other character.
You know, it's so rude.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm so worried about our shit and trying to get. Farley to make sure everything he says is in all caps.

Speaker 2 What was your catchphrase for Gap girls? What was your case?

Speaker 1 I don't know if there was one.

Speaker 2 The thing everybody remembers was lay off me.

Speaker 1 Oh, lay off me. I'm starving.

Speaker 2 I'm starving. And that was the.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 That was my proudest writing moment was that one because lay off me.

Speaker 2 I'm starving. That one worked.
Destroyed.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And also in that one, Bill, there was a in rehearsal, it says, you know, like we're at the mall at the food court, and then we see the girls from Donut Hut.
Everyone knows this guy.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't even know why I'm explaining it. And

Speaker 2 Schneider taking notes with Sarah Gilbert as Donut hut sluts.

Speaker 1 And we argue with them, obviously. There's a rivalry.
And then at the end of the week, they go, we'll see you guys Friday. And then it goes away to a card.
It says three days later of the mall.

Speaker 1 And then it comes back and then in rehearsal, I go, isn't it weird? We're all wearing the same thing we did three days later. And we laugh.
So I go, hey, Adam.

Speaker 1 On the live show, I go, when we do that, when we come back, I'm going to say that. And you say, I don't think we are.
And I go, trust me, we are.

Speaker 2 Because it's only five seconds of real time.

Speaker 1 And so we added that, which is fun. And then Lay Off Me, I'm Starving, Farley fucking nailed.
And then I said, We can't do a movie. I'm out.

Speaker 2 That's it. I don't want to work.
All right, let's talk about no. This is this.

Speaker 2 This story is 21 minutes.

Speaker 2 Hold on, David. What was the one where you said you were the contestant on a thing and you said, oh, that's sweet.
Oh, sweet.

Speaker 2 That was Heat Weaver Spaz.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. I get in my Shirakov.
Shirocco.

Speaker 2 It's It's going to be three.

Speaker 2 It's going to be three. Yeah.

Speaker 2 God dang.

Speaker 2 Oh, what we do for money. Is that an Arizona? Wait, real quick.
Is that an Arizona dude?

Speaker 1 No, that was just,

Speaker 1 yeah, I had a guy that used to

Speaker 1 in class. And so

Speaker 1 when you get assigned a sketch, they go, can you be sort of a whatever, whatever? So that one just sounded funny because I don't really do big characters and that one sounded funny.

Speaker 1 And my friend had a Shiraco in, and it was,

Speaker 2 it was all whited out. And it was very cool.
And I white

Speaker 2 everything. Shiraco over at SCC.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. That's where I just did a,

Speaker 2 I just got no, I just did a talk at SCC. Oh, you did? We went to the same community college, Dana.
But I

Speaker 2 left.

Speaker 2 I went out of state.

Speaker 1 to go to a community college. It's the funniest story.
He's from Oklahoma, right?

Speaker 2 And then you from Oklahoma to Arizona.

Speaker 2 And I went to arizona to the art institute of phoenix because my grades were so bad and they didn't care and then when i was there a guy there was like you know at scottsdale community college they're shooting stuff on film and i went oh this is in whatever 97 or something when shooting on video was lame and so

Speaker 2 we went there and and yeah and they were like you know david's family i went there because they had tennis

Speaker 2 uh it was a little different but what was the mascot of scottsdale community

Speaker 2 the art of jokes okay it was the art of jokes

Speaker 2 hysterical And then I worked on Mill Avenue at a movie theater. I worked at Cinema Movie Theater.

Speaker 1 Oh, I love it. Yeah.
Down in Texas.

Speaker 2 As an usher or running the film, or what were you doing? I did the, I was an usher. And I looked at the time, I looked like Charles Manson.

Speaker 2 I had like a long beard and long hair, but the cumber bun and the little tie on him. Cumber bun.

Speaker 2 So the idea when you're the you're the type of usher who would then, when there wasn't many people around, just sit in on movies. Was you'd be that kind of guy? Yeah, I always sit and watch movies.

Speaker 2 The guy that

Speaker 2 there's a guy I worked with, and you had this whole thing about like you can't bring food into the theater outside of food into the theater.

Speaker 2 And I became like really obsessed with nailing people because it was just fun. I just feel like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no.

Speaker 2 You know, I was just like, and this one dude was, I forget his name, but he was such a like, just kind of a stoner guy.

Speaker 2 And we were out, I was by the concession stand, and this, this guy came in with a wedding cake.

Speaker 2 just to sit

Speaker 2 in his mouth

Speaker 2 and he was like hey can i put this in the back i was just gonna go see a movie so one i'm like who brings a wedding cake to a movie and two i was like went to this stoner guy i'm like did you not see the guy with the fucking wedding cake

Speaker 2 you tore his tickets and you put the stubs

Speaker 2 he was like oh yeah man you know i you know the guy seemed uh you know he had a cake yeah

Speaker 1 i just I just saw Spider-Man and the guy goes, the usher goes, you know, they like overhelp you. He goes, I'll walk you to the theater.
I go, I think I got it. And he goes, three hours, dude.

Speaker 1 And I go, oh, immediate buzzkill. I go, oh, it is.
He goes, yeah. And he goes, and at the end, all the Spider-Man's, I go,

Speaker 1 don't be like spoiler, guy. Just let me get in there.

Speaker 2 Take it down a peck. Yeah, come on.
Okay.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 come on. What are you? The false ending guy? Something? And he's going down the river like Kurtz.

Speaker 2 Colonel Kurtz is a great dentist. One of his go-to.
Like Colonel Kurtz up there in the cave. He's going down the river like Kurtz.

Speaker 2 Getting that sponge on his head in the cave, shooting for the Oscar, right? Like the way the sheen cat hides in the shallows. Okay.

Speaker 1 I have all these sketches of Bills I want to go over.

Speaker 2 Well, while we're here in his youth,

Speaker 2 because we'll kind of, maybe we can go. Hey, we're just making this up.

Speaker 2 But we know you're a filmophile. So you go to the theater, you're seeing films.

Speaker 2 Just, do you remember the first film? Because I could say 2001 for me in a theater or on television, the first film or TV show when you went, holy shit, what the fuck is this?

Speaker 2 You know, it was like always like, I was at a sleepover at this kid's house and his older brother was like,

Speaker 2 We were 12 and like, you know, the 15 year old older brother came in and was like,

Speaker 2 I'm going to to show you this movie, Taxi Drive. Whoa, wow.
We all were like, what? You know, that's heavy.

Speaker 2 You can't be watching this, you know? And it's like, this is really intense. But there was a scene in that movie where, with all the violence and stuff in it, there's a scene where

Speaker 2 Robert De Niro takes Sybil Shepard to a porno movie that's still like one of the most

Speaker 2 I've ever seen in a thing ever. It's just impossible to watch and not, it's so bad.
It's so sad. But then afterwards he calls her and it's him on a payphone in a hallway

Speaker 2 seeing if she got these flowers he sent her and he's like i didn't know you didn't like those kind of movies or whatever and it was so embarrassing to watch and then as it was happening the camera just dollied off of him as he's talking

Speaker 2 and i thought

Speaker 2 oh wow the movie doesn't want to watch this

Speaker 2 like it was like oh you're allowed to do that like unlocked this thing in my head where i was like

Speaker 2 so it was weird this weird night where these dude this older brother thought he was kind of like you know

Speaker 2 us up or whatever and instead i got like really jazzed by that it was hard after that to be like let's watch the natural yeah you know

Speaker 1 like whatever movies my friends wanted to watch it was like no i want to but that's so interesting that you think they just show like when i see movies they show that guy and then you cut and show that guy talking and

Speaker 1 and even dolly shots are weird and then you fade off them and in your head to think oh it's because he's

Speaker 1 boring and it's odd and they're and it's getting extra. And you go, oh, yeah, are you allowed to do that? And then

Speaker 2 yeah, yeah, it's like an emotional thing. It was like, it felt intuitive and emotional.
And it was like, oh, I don't want to watch this. So let's just, let's give them some space.
Could I

Speaker 2 connect the dots on that a teeny bit with you, Bill? I was watching the episode where you're going to go kill the guy, ends up being a martial artist, and then you have a fight with the daughter

Speaker 2 on Barry.

Speaker 2 Well, when you come in and we know he's the mark, and come in and you stay on him a long time, and we just hear your voice

Speaker 2 talking about it's not going to happen, it's going to be okay, but there's no shot of you at that point. I don't know, it just reminds me it had some visceral emotional,

Speaker 2 yeah, it was like an instinctive thing of like, oh,

Speaker 2 you don't know what he's looking at, and then

Speaker 2 they reveal that I'm in this like weird cock Spider-Man, almost or something.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this weird,

Speaker 2 like one of the guys, you know, terrorists at Munich games or something. Like, you had this weird look.
And then, but, yeah, you know, but yeah, that's what I mean. You kind of go like, well,

Speaker 2 it takes a while to get that kind of confidence to do that. The crew looks at you like you're nuts.
You're not doing coverage. What? Yeah.
We ended up shooting a

Speaker 2 two-shot of us because the DP and other people were like,

Speaker 2 I don't get this. And I just want, okay, we'll shoot this.
And then,

Speaker 2 and then you get in the edit and say, well, I kind of want it this way.

Speaker 2 Well, I think, yeah, that's that's Barry, which we'll get to in a little bit. But

Speaker 2 so as you're going along, just a few more touchstones. What Deer Hunter? You like kind of the darker kind of films? Yeah, those kind of movies were always.

Speaker 2 There's a movie Last Detail with Jack Nicholson.

Speaker 2 That was Hal Ashby and

Speaker 2 Judd Apato talked about that. Yeah, I love that film.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Judd directed that. Hey,

Speaker 2 Bill, what about

Speaker 2 Jack goes?

Speaker 2 He goes, Judd, you could just say, like, you know,

Speaker 2 I think my balls hurt.

Speaker 2 Last detail, yeah, they had the big god mic. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Randy, Randy, before you know, no, no, Randy, Randy, look at him and be like, oh, geez,

Speaker 2 I guess I got my semen all over the place.

Speaker 2 Think of your gun as a horse's cock. Your gun is like a horse's cock.

Speaker 2 There's always a pause, and then he goes, you know.

Speaker 1 Judd said Deer Hunter could have been a half hour longer. No, but I'm kidding.
But I saw

Speaker 2 what about in taxes. He makes fun of that.

Speaker 1 We make fun of it.

Speaker 1 Because I showed him my HBO special, my new Netflix special. It's an hour six.
He goes, I think it could be two hours. Let me see it.

Speaker 2 I go, well, no, there's not even

Speaker 1 that much material. I'll find it.

Speaker 2 But what about in taxi driver

Speaker 1 that stood out to me? This is the tiniest thing. But when he's embarrassing, going,

Speaker 1 the thing that says, I've got to get organized.

Speaker 2 Organized, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the card.

Speaker 1 And she's like, what?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, I got to get organized. It's on his wall.
No, it's like, yeah, I got to get organized.

Speaker 1 That was something my mom had.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And then he's like, this thing says I got to get organized. And she's like,

Speaker 2 and then he buys her a record that she says she already has. Like,

Speaker 2 the whole thing is just so awkward. We were like, dude, just like, stop.
Stop.

Speaker 2 Stop it. This is so sad.
And you're 12 watching that. I'm 12 watching this.
Girls are like a total mystery to me. And I'm like, okay.

Speaker 2 Don't do any of this.

Speaker 1 I thought it was like a lesson in how to do it.

Speaker 2 yeah but i told dana i saw tommy when i was 12.

Speaker 2 remember tommy and it scared me and i got a stomachache yeah i wasn't ready for the beans uh the the scene in tommy with all the um remember the scene with the beans where isn't it like ann margaret or someone yeah makes no sense scared me oh acid queen

Speaker 1 when she threw the guy got fire and it burned his face at the beginning uh with tina turner i don't know what the fuck i just saw grease before that i'm like what's going on here?

Speaker 1 Let's keep it light, guys.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, that one was gross. What's going on? I always liked a lot of those.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I also like, you know, like, like, Love Jaws. Oh, yeah.
Perfect.

Speaker 2 Perfect movie. The Godfather.
And, you know, never, never can watch that any day of the week. Godfather.
What about Alien? How did you find Alien? Like Once Upon a Time in the West.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, with Henry, Henry Fonda. Henry Fonda, we're back.
I'm going to shoot you right now if I the last thing I ever do. I'm Henry Fonda.
Now that you

Speaker 2 said my name, he shoots a kid.

Speaker 2 He's not a kid.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he shoots a kid. Yeah, the old gunslinger, one of those spaghetti westerns.
This guy goes, we got him all, right? When he says his name, he goes, well, now that you've said my name,

Speaker 2 he shoots a kid. And you're like, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 I was like, geez, let's relax. Yeah.
Sergio.

Speaker 2 Sergio.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I like all, like, all those 70s movies. And then a big one, you know what a big one I saw in the theater was? And it's a weird one, was I took a girl to go,

Speaker 2 like my first, like, you're going with somebody. Date.
Okay. Date.
Yeah. And she wanted to go see Father the Bride with Steve Martin.
And I took her to go see Barton Fink. Oh, all right.

Speaker 2 That was. She was like.
Okay, thanks. Well,

Speaker 2 we never really need to speak to you.

Speaker 1 Not a panty dropper.

Speaker 2 Yeah. yeah was and i was like damn that movie was amazing i was like that was like it's still one of my

Speaker 2 i love that film the cohen brothers and taturo who did it taturo was in it yeah

Speaker 2 john gomen are just oh yeah

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Speaker 3 What's up? It's Draymond Green. I'm back for my 14th NBA season, and my podcast, The Draymond Green Show, is back too.

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Speaker 2 John Goodman.

Speaker 2 I don't know

Speaker 2 when he hosted the show. John Goodman, speaking of Saturday Live, which is sort of the theme of our show, kind of,

Speaker 2 John Goodman could do anything, and he's one of those guys that read through with the 55 scripts. He's one of those incredible cold readers.

Speaker 2 You know, that's a thing that's so difficult.

Speaker 2 I don't know how people do that. I remember.
And did you guys ever have people who were terrible at the table? Yes. You were like, this is going to be a bloodbath.
And then

Speaker 2 we're just amazing. Like they came in and they were like, oh, they're just not good cold readers.
Or they kind of save it.

Speaker 2 Well, something happens when they're up in front of a live audience that it's suddenly breaks and you're like, oh, get out of the way.

Speaker 2 I think there's a gradient scale.

Speaker 2 I mean, you could go to some mild dyslexia or whatever's going on, but some people can really like Dennis Miller and Phil Hartman could look at a cue card and just grab it so fast.

Speaker 2 And they never would stumble a little bit. But even good readers, it's such a task to not trip up a word, reverse a word.
I tripped over stuff constantly.

Speaker 2 I did my sixth show. I played Vincent Price.
Yeah. And Lauren

Speaker 2 came up to me. Lauren came up to me right before the band's playing.

Speaker 2 And I'm, you know, my sixth show.

Speaker 2 I'm sweating. Yeah.
Like, I'm like, oh, I'm, Dana, you talked about, like, I would have a a full-blown panic attack before every show i would go into that bathroom that was

Speaker 2 the big makeup yeah there was a boys and girls bathroom way at the end of the day yes

Speaker 2 right after the meeting before it was like and lauren would be like you know this week you know we're about to go on break and people are going to say it was a good show or a bad show you know so it'd be it'd be really really nice if it was like it'd be really really nice if you could say i love that about yeah yeah yeah so i'm gonna make everything

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 when you panic attack in there, just for a second, so you go and you sit down, you're by yourself. Are you just hyperventilating? I'm just standing up.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I'm going to stall, standing up, and I would just hyperventilate. I'll be honest, cry a little bit.

Speaker 2 Oh, of course. Shaking.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Just have like a full.

Speaker 2 And then the thing was that Jenna, who was our stage manager when I was there, who's one of my favorite human beings on the planet,

Speaker 2 is great, but she had, I I think, part of your job when you're, when you're that, you should be a little calm

Speaker 2 before air. You'd say like, 10 minutes to air.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
No, it's who would get five minutes to air. Like her voice shaking, and I'm going,

Speaker 2 I'm going to have a panic attack. So I was in Vincent Price, and it was like the second sketch after monologue.
And I'm sitting there and I'm like, about to pass out.

Speaker 2 And Lauren goes, I like this, this, but why now?

Speaker 2 Very Lauren. And then we did it.
And if you watch the very first one, it's Eva Lingui, I think, was the host. I stumble the first minute.
I stumble over like every other line. Wow.
I'm so like,

Speaker 2 like discombobulated. And wait, what did that mean? And what did I just say?

Speaker 1 Also, new cast is hard to get. the cards down.
It's not so simple. You know, it takes a while.

Speaker 2 How to look at it. Of course, you were the host on that, but do you think this is kind of like unhealthy what we did there too but i mean i ended up having a botched bypass a couple years after

Speaker 2 i mean when you're what was our blood pressure in our first few shows

Speaker 2 our hearts

Speaker 2 autoimmune thing that affects the retina of my left eye and i've gone to so many people about it i've lost vision in this eye like all this stuff and everybody is like

Speaker 2 Really?

Speaker 2 I'm like, could stress have caused this? And they're like,

Speaker 2 well, yeah.

Speaker 1 You weren't on Saturday Night Live, were you?

Speaker 2 you're like yeah you on saturday night live saturday night live how are you how many stents do you have

Speaker 2 did you have any sort of post-traumatic

Speaker 1 health issues or did you have any anything that it stopped it stunted my growth for sure i'm still i'm five seven

Speaker 1 but i will tell you that before you were just saying when i was on the eighth floor i would go by the elevators and take a left and there's a bathroom back there and i would just stand there and look at my script and that stall and just go oh my god and g would come come in and go out.

Speaker 1 And everyone would,

Speaker 1 he came with his full amp.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, not here.

Speaker 2 He was the coolest. No one loves it.

Speaker 1 No one knows how loud it is in that room when you're like doing the actual show and the band kicks in. You can't hear anything.
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 So I would get really sickened. And I think when I moved to New York, I was this fun kid from Arizona.
And I was, of course, smashed down

Speaker 1 because I didn't have any nutrients. I didn't know what carbs were back then.
So it was pizza. It was pasta.
I didn't have a glass of water for six years. I didn't,

Speaker 1 it was Diet Coke. And then my hair got brown because I didn't know it could get brown, but it was dark all the time.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there's sun 10 minutes a day when it's like the buildings are straight up and the sun's directly at noon.

Speaker 1 And so I just, and I got like sort of gray

Speaker 1 and I felt

Speaker 1 weak and sickly. I was like powder.
You know that movie powder? So I'm sort of that guy.

Speaker 1 And then I wasn't really, if I look look at it now of how much I pay attention to eating and food and what goes in and I did not at all then. And then add all the stress of like,

Speaker 1 I don't know if I'm ever going to be in show business. I can't barely make it here.
And it's just so much every day. You got to, that's all you think about.
It had to affect. something.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's sort of my own doing, but it had to affect something.

Speaker 2 The first church chat, I popped the tooth. Well, isn't that? Really? No, I made that up.
I made that up.

Speaker 2 I know. Cause I'm just thinking, it's like.
Wasn't the first church chat your first show and it became a cold open? Yeah. It became the first sketch after Update.

Speaker 2 I was in a cold open with Phil and Jan, and I didn't even know I was in the cold open in essence.

Speaker 2 But then the church lady was the first, and there's church chat, if people care, but her hand came up, his hand, my hand, the character's hand. Sorry.
I have the dress in the closet.

Speaker 2 And it was drenched in sweat. It was pure.

Speaker 2 And yet,

Speaker 2 to be that adrenalized, that blood pressure, heart pounding, and then pretend to be relaxed was such a difficult thing. But

Speaker 2 I want to go over some of your seminal, incredible sketches, but just quickly,

Speaker 2 the acclamation point for me, I believe in a way I was maybe the best I was on this show, like my last two shows. I mean, I think it took me five years to get to have fun, put it that way.

Speaker 2 Because I see the panic attacks, but when I saw, and I've said this to you and Fred Armerson, you know, Batman and Robin, you guys, I always connected you too because of all the great stuff you did.

Speaker 2 Is that I said, how did you, you guys seem to be having so much fun that last season. And you said, well, we knew it was our last season.
So we kind of,

Speaker 2 in a good way, didn't give a fuck. And then you have fun and then you're great.
So that process did happen for you, right? At some point, you got calm. Kind of.
Yeah. I mean, it was still nervous.

Speaker 2 I was still going to the

Speaker 2 bathroom install, but I wouldn't like have it was more like what David's saying. You would have your script and you would just kind of

Speaker 2 read through your stuff and just have a quiet moment by yourself and then be like all right let me center myself but then yeah fred

Speaker 2 uh was so loose on the show

Speaker 2 um i never saw him get nervous and so he a lot of times and i'm also a very soft touch like i can i i break constantly so i think that was what he was would bring to it he loved to break you yeah well just also as a way of like his commitment

Speaker 2 it was just his, so he would, but he would just do little things. It was never big things.
Yeah. Like he did a sketch he wrote called

Speaker 2 short-term memory theater.

Speaker 1 Oh, I saw that.

Speaker 2 And the whole thing is:

Speaker 2 I'm the doctor who's worked with all these patients, and we're going to run a play. And you'll see that none of these people forget their lines because they had short-term memory loss.

Speaker 1 You keep hammering at home that there's absolutely no way they hammer at home.

Speaker 2 It's like, they will not, you mark my word, they will not miss a single, single line. And then Adie Bryant comes out, immediately goes up on her lines, and I have to cue her.

Speaker 2 And that's the bit is that I'm cueing everybody.

Speaker 1 I just watched that. So fucking hilarious.

Speaker 2 Fred, it's supposed to be in the 40s, like a,

Speaker 2 you know, like an Arthur Miller play or something.

Speaker 2 And Fred, to fuck with me, came in in a present-day New York Giant jacket.

Speaker 1 I saw that.

Speaker 2 And he goes,

Speaker 2 and then I said, give me the jacket. And he said, is the playover?

Speaker 1 Dude, I wrote down something from that because you go,

Speaker 1 because I just watched it. I was laughing.
And Vince Vaughan is in it too, right? Vince Vaughan. And you go,

Speaker 1 you go, it has my keys in it. You go, Jana has everyone's keys.

Speaker 2 Because they're all obviously going to, they can't be without their shit.

Speaker 1 That's what I thought it was so funny.

Speaker 2 And then I watched five years in a a row that were home runs.

Speaker 1 And this is, I kept going, you have to laugh in this one. When you were doing the one where you're fucking screaming as a fireman, I was like,

Speaker 1 I didn't know where it was going. And you start going crazy.
I go, there's no way.

Speaker 2 You kept saying, what?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. That was

Speaker 2 John Solomon and Rob Klein wrote that one. And

Speaker 2 I don't know where it came from. It was just one of those great things where you come to the table.

Speaker 1 It's a fucking home run.

Speaker 2 And they're like, yeah we went nuts last night we you're this like very effeminate firefighter that's mad that your girlfriend's there with uh

Speaker 2 uh adam levine by the adam and you know jim downey was there and jim downey was laughing really hard for sure when

Speaker 2 he was losing his mind during that sketch and then we came into that dress rehearsal and then we came into the meeting before air and they had all the cards up and downey started crying laughing and i was like why is downey laughing that's interesting and he goes he goes the name of that sketch is the firehouse incident yeah

Speaker 2 i saw it for him and he goes he goes

Speaker 2 it's so needlessly mysterious

Speaker 2 yeah that jim does have that capacity to identify exactly why it's funny yeah he was just needlessly mysterious yeah and that we were just

Speaker 2 That's my memory of doing that show is being in the meeting just crying to make Downey laugh is big.

Speaker 1 Also, I thought it was

Speaker 1 when everyone plays it straight, Adam Levine, I'll give it to him too. When everyone plays it straight, it's so hilarious.

Speaker 1 And it's asking a lot of everyone to A, not laugh, and B, just play it straight.

Speaker 1 And then I think Cicely, or someone comes over and goes out of nowhere, hey, I guess they just canceled the B in apartment C.

Speaker 2 And you go, what?

Speaker 2 The B

Speaker 2 in C?

Speaker 1 Not the B in C. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 I think I grab a dog in the window and you'll open a window and they all say, no.

Speaker 2 And then the dog attacks me. Yeah.
Yeah. And we're not.

Speaker 2 That was one of those ones where it's just like a gift that the writers were like, I don't know what, what happened, but we've, they wrote another one with me where I was like this guy in a, the, the guy in a puppet class.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I was like, oh,

Speaker 2 Anthony Coleman. Yeah.
And that was another one where you go to the table and there's like a sock puppet on your pile of scripts with a little note on it. Like,

Speaker 2 you know, puppet class. Could you use this, please? John and Rob.
Hysterical.

Speaker 2 And you're like figuring it out as you go along. Those guys, my last season, because Mulaney had left.
And

Speaker 2 John Solomon and Rob Klein wrote, they really wrote some great stuff for me that way.

Speaker 1 I mean, those two right there are like, by the way, I was, I was wondering during puppet class how

Speaker 1 it must be a little hard to get your lines, get the puppet, get them to kiss, get around

Speaker 1 and try to kiss the, you know, and everything you had to do was like two things going on at once and make sure the camera's on your face and then the puppet's face. They had to do that.

Speaker 1 So those can be complicated and then it comes off without a hitch.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that one, the most difficult thing, everybody was like, oh, is it making the puppet smoke?

Speaker 2 And that was, you know, those things where like they cut to someone else. And then you have.

Speaker 2 Was Flanagan there with you guys? The guy who made shit? That guy, Flanagan?

Speaker 2 Anyway, Flanagan was the guy who made the puppet. He would be there.
And then all the they're hooking shit up to you real fast.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You know, and you're like, Jesus, this is the,

Speaker 2 you know,

Speaker 2 and then, yeah, they, what they don't see is the guys are all like on the floor right at you know your feet. Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's coming.

Speaker 2 That was, it was one of those things where the smoke came out. You're like, oh, thank God that fucking works.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Doesn't work all during the week. Yeah.
And they're doing like that.

Speaker 2 You're like, Jesus Christ, please.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we had barf ones where they put the barf in a tube up your arm. And then I think it was Fred Wolf wrote one where maybe it was Gallic Baldwin.
Every cop that walks up to a scene and goes,

Speaker 2 God damn. And then they go,

Speaker 2 and everyone starts barfing. They would come out before you could get it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's even funnier, but if it doesn't come out, it sucks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And there's a guy pumping next to him going, give it more gas, Joe.

Speaker 2 And you're like, we're live. You're new.
So we can't. Give him more gas.
Yeah. I met a host once, right? I had a puppet.

Speaker 2 It was a different sketch, but I had a puppet that was supposed to throw up on a host.

Speaker 2 And the host

Speaker 2 was angry about it.

Speaker 2 The host didn't like that.

Speaker 2 So between dress and air and the meeting, they were like, oh, and hey, can we do something about that puppet? You know, when the host sounds off and everybody's like,

Speaker 2 excuse me? Oh, no.

Speaker 2 The host, I don't know. Well, the writer who wrote that, I was like,

Speaker 2 you know, second-year cast member. So I was like, oh, geez.
Yeah, sure. Sorry.

Speaker 2 But the guy I wrote it with, it was his last show.

Speaker 2 So he was just quiet.

Speaker 1 Did he go, hey, fuck you. We're doing it.

Speaker 2 So we go over and we're doing the sketch. And I see him talking to the special effects guys.
And the guys are pumping the water thing. And it was like, you know, when you have like a pellet gun.

Speaker 2 It's just getting hard.

Speaker 2 So we're doing the sketch and I go to pick this thing up and I pick up the puppet and it's vibrating.

Speaker 1 It's so full, ready to go.

Speaker 2 I was like, oh, Jesus.

Speaker 2 And on air, this stuff, it was like a fire hose.

Speaker 2 I hit this guy right in the face. I was like.

Speaker 1 And he's expecting nothing now. Instead of a little bit.

Speaker 2 He's expecting like a water fountain. Yeah.
He actually said, oh, I want like a drinking fountain, like a little. Right.
And it's just way nice.

Speaker 2 Like, it hits so hard that the puppet flew off.

Speaker 2 And so it's just the nozzle of the

Speaker 2 on the air show?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, I have to give you, like, speaking of all that kind of stuff, because it's hard sometimes to get all this shit on you when you're during a show. So you got a wig, but you did one with

Speaker 1 like a Hollywood type of show with Scarlett Johansson and Kristen Wigg. And Scarlett Johansson, first of all, is an unsung hero.

Speaker 1 She's kind of a sleeper because every sketch I see her in, she's great in.

Speaker 2 Yeah, she's awesome. Yeah, she's really committed.

Speaker 1 And she kills it. And then that one was just a funny one where you two were acting like idiots.
And it was just another surprising sketch.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's Hollywood dish. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was the thing of you guys have done it where people interview you. And then while you're talking, they can't talk.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 And you explain that you can't overlap.

Speaker 2 Like, yeah. So I was, and it's like

Speaker 2 making faces, you know, and they're mouthing words and stuff.

Speaker 2 And so kristen and i i think had done press for something and we were doing that the whole time and then it was like oh we should probably write that you know right and you also had some different moves in it though so it wasn't like just that it's starting to

Speaker 2 change up something you know what the one you saw probably i don't know if it was that one because we did that one a couple times i don't know if you guys have ever had this happen where at dress there was a thing where i'm drinking

Speaker 2 a slurpee and someone says something shocking and I go and I like throw the slurpee full giant big gulp right into Wig's face. And she just has tons of slurpy over it.

Speaker 2 And then I throw a thing on her head. So we did it at dress

Speaker 2 perfect. Of course.
On air,

Speaker 2 fully miss her. It goes in front of her, doesn't hit her at all.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 And I can, the only sound and doesn't get a laugh because everybody was like, oh, something went wrong.

Speaker 2 And I can hear Lauren. It's so bad when you're at home base and I can hear Lauren under the bleachers going, ah, shit.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 terrible.

Speaker 2 And didn't Kristen break? Did she, did she break on that sketch? No, no. I don't.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, there's so much another one, maybe. What you see now is dress.
Like, so he was like, okay. So when I got done, he was like, West Coastal, see dress.

Speaker 2 Oh, good. Okay.

Speaker 1 Well, you did a spit take in her fucking grill, too, which was hysterical.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You realize those are all the things that work. You know, I get to SML and I'm like, oh, I'm going to have these really cerebral, weird things.

Speaker 2 And it's like, no, what works is spitting in someone's face.

Speaker 2 Funny, funny with the sound off. Never

Speaker 2 funny with the sound off. It's perfect.
Exactly.

Speaker 2 What about Welch?

Speaker 2 Oh, that was based on a, that was John Mulaney that wrote that. That was based on a.

Speaker 2 A guy we all kind of know in a way. The guy that retired a long time ago.
The

Speaker 2 video. Yeah.
I was on the field. He was on a field it was like a youtube video where the guys

Speaker 2 they got an argument on on here and the guy what what'd you say

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 yeah that one was also from the combination of that and then i was having to play

Speaker 2 i always got cast as like reporters or game teams

Speaker 2 why is it like always like the guy hartman was our guy doing that you know i was always the guy that was like we need a setup so we'll they'll put me in going like i'm here now at this school whatever you know whatever yeah so we were rehearsing with emma stone and for that sketch and i had a microphone and i was just like hitting people with it hitting her in the face i was her and i was hitting a wig and just around with it and then again i'm not i go oh that's fun and mulaney was like we should maybe write that up

Speaker 2 oh yeah that could be like he was the guy that would go what if we did that as a sketch and i was like oh oh is that what we do here

Speaker 2 oh okay

Speaker 1 yeah emma again good in that and uh everyone was good and then you go over but i did you only do that once or did you do that a bunch of times a couple of times so funny

Speaker 2 we did it with um i saw

Speaker 2 i think and then when i hosted the first time i did it

Speaker 2 oh

Speaker 2 actually it has an improvisational vibe to it you know what's the funny thing about herb welch was this gave me a really interesting insight into TV critics. Was there was someone who would write

Speaker 2 because when I was there at the after-party, everybody's on their phone

Speaker 2 when people are writing about the show.

Speaker 1 Wow. We did not have that.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So we would all, everybody is at their table going, so-and-so at this site hates it.
So-and-so. Oh, that fast.
Wow.

Speaker 2 Seven out of ten on the AV Club.

Speaker 1 Couchpotato.com.

Speaker 2 And you're just like, oh my God. And

Speaker 2 there was one guy who would do a scorecard every show.

Speaker 2 And everybody would read the scorecard.

Speaker 2 And he, at the end of the season, did his year roundup and he was like, favorite sketch, least favorite sketch. And his least favorite character was her.
What? No, he doesn't know.

Speaker 2 What an idiot. This is terrible.
It's racist. And it's racist.
It's misogynistic and terrible. And I'm like, well, he's like an ancient asshole.
I don't think it's pro. That.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 the sketch isn't pro him.

Speaker 2 But it's a grumpy old man. Grumpy old man.
But then

Speaker 2 a year later, I was doing press for something and they brought a guy in, and it was the guy that wrote this. So I'm talking about another thing with him.

Speaker 2 And then as he leaves, he goes, Hey, can I tell you what character of yours I really love?

Speaker 2 I love Herb Welsh. What? What? And I go, all right.

Speaker 2 Wait a minute.

Speaker 2 I got to be honest. You said he was the worst character

Speaker 2 in the, you know, that year or whatever. And he goes, yeah, yeah.
A guy I work with read that and was like kind of bummed out. And he goes, no, you should check it out.
You, you know, really watch it.

Speaker 2 And I watched it again. I was like, oh, yeah, this is good.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's worth suffering. And that kind of gave me a whole,

Speaker 2 I was like, oh, this is how it is with. this show.
You know what I mean? Like, it's like, it's, it was like that day that at that moment, the guy hated it.

Speaker 2 and now a year later, he's like, Oh, it was really nice.

Speaker 2 And then the opposite will happen where someone, the thing they love, then you run into them, they're like, Actually, I watched that again, it doesn't age well, you know, or whatever.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, isn't it fun? I just about because I saw it this morning too, just seeing it again, which I love when I saw it.

Speaker 2 First of all, it's it's low energy in a way, like it's it's the opposite of the firehouse incident. Yeah, it's getting huge laughs.

Speaker 2 So then you have the task of uh, I don't know if you could do it now, but Chris and Wigg is trans or something, and then you go Herb goes with the mic over her body

Speaker 2 yeah yeah oh and so

Speaker 2 that

Speaker 2 like did you was that choreographed like I'll do bump bump bump bump bump or because the crowd's going crazy are you going a little bit more on the air show because yeah I think probably a little bit more I why I started laughing because when I hit her in the crotch Wig made a sound

Speaker 2 right so that yeah she did a little sound and I started laughing so you looked away a couple times. I looked away because she went, yeah.

Speaker 2 And so instead of breaking in front of the crowd, you just looked away and came back. I was like, for a second because she was.

Speaker 2 But yeah, you're right. We probably, yeah, you couldn't do that now.
Well,

Speaker 2 yeah, we

Speaker 2 had a lot of those. Yeah, a lot of those stuff.
I had Ching Change, you know, in 1988. There's enough Downey wrote for us that

Speaker 2 there's no way at all.

Speaker 2 Even at the time, I was like,

Speaker 2 Jesus Christ. I don't know about this.

Speaker 1 I like when Downey goes, there's just something in the...

Speaker 2 Is there something about

Speaker 1 it? It's a little too precious.

Speaker 2 There's just something very funny about. See, when you say this line, you want to go up.
And then when you go this way, now

Speaker 2 he's kind of this thing. It's like, we test it out with you and get.
It's that whole thing.

Speaker 1 It's just more the idea.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 He was good with me. Yeah, I mean, I, you know, I really like Downey, but yeah, he, yeah, he would really go.
It was, you know, he goes some pussy.

Speaker 1 He was always goading me on Hollywood Minute to go harder. He goes, You're a pussy.
You're a pussy. You're not doing this.
Don't act like you're doing it. And I go, I'll do it.

Speaker 1 And he goes, No, you won't. Don't even talk about it.
And I'd sit there and go, I go, first of all, you're the guy that's going to fire me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. And it's like, you don't have to go out there.
He's my boss.

Speaker 1 And then he wants me to do it. But he'd be like, hey, bad news, I have to fire you over that joke.

Speaker 2 He's the one.

Speaker 1 I would say, Dana, I'm just jumping around, but

Speaker 2 when you said, Bill,

Speaker 1 that you were good the last year, when you were telling everyone you were really good on the show the last year, earlier.

Speaker 2 Last two, three, whatever.

Speaker 1 I'm joking, but you got more relaxed. And I think the idea of that I wanted to jump in from 10 minutes ago is that

Speaker 1 I think you guys are in the same spot. Maybe not as much, Dana or Bill, but I never knew if I was coming back.

Speaker 1 And every summer he'd say, I don't know if he's right for the show, but, you know, we don't know if we're going to bring him back to me about me. And then they would at the last minute.

Speaker 1 And so you can't relax in that situation. And that's fair.
It's a business. He doesn't know.
And if he wants to cut me like a baseball team, he doesn't want to have a long-term deal.

Speaker 1 So I'm, you know, going check to check, going, if I don't get on for three shows or don't score, this is it. It's curtains.
And so maybe you

Speaker 1 are possibly in that same position where it's your last year, you don't really care because there's no high stakes anymore. You're going anyway,

Speaker 2 yeah. I mean, I will also say, and you guys had this.
I mean, you did Tommy Boy, and Dana, what you were doing,

Speaker 2 were you still on Wayne's World? You were still on the show. Yeah, I was on the show, Wayne's World, and Wayne's World came out.
Yeah, those are huge.

Speaker 2 I mean, did that give you guys a bit of confidence? Like,

Speaker 2 oh, yeah, Tommy Boy came out, we were like, because I get hot rod after my first, and I was like, well, I was in a movie.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 They won't cut me.

Speaker 2 Andy Samborg. I feel like there's some stock in me.
Even if the movie didn't do well, they put me in a movie, I guess. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I was really naive, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I know what you're saying. And I sort of did.

Speaker 1 I think it was right in the Hollywood. It was probably three years.
I was on six. After three, when I got to four, I go, I think I'm going to push this through.

Speaker 1 Now, I was held as a feature player longer than Schneider, Rock, and Farley, and Sandler. So

Speaker 1 I had an extra year. So I'm like, maybe it's just not for me.
I mean, I'm not a big character guy.

Speaker 1 So I sort of saw what they saw, and I go, I can score maybe here and there, but I'm not a full utility player like they need here.

Speaker 2 That's so funny you say that because

Speaker 2 I was watching, you know, massive fan during those years, and it seemed like you were very much

Speaker 2 Michael J. Fox, casual.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Hey, Sarge, what are you doing here?

Speaker 2 What are you doing?

Speaker 1 You know, here's my new one, Daniel Dale.

Speaker 2 I love that so much.

Speaker 1 From There Will Be Blood. This is my shot and partner, HW.

Speaker 2 That's pretty good, Dana.

Speaker 2 I have a competition problem. I have a competition

Speaker 2 failures. I should win.

Speaker 2 You did that.

Speaker 2 Speaking of that, drink your milkshake. I love that.
Daniel Playview as a sketch. Can you give us, you want to go into it for a second? I'm an oil man.
I'm an order man. I'm a loyal man.

Speaker 2 That was like, you know, the thing that you

Speaker 2 eat to get into it. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like all day I was going, I'm an oil man. Yeah.
I'm an oil man.

Speaker 2 That's perfect.

Speaker 2 That was the other thing that drove me nuts. The writers

Speaker 2 were nuts. It's like, this is down in, you know,

Speaker 2 Milwaukee, Wisconsin. And it's like, I'm doing a voice, so I'm working on this name Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Speaker 2 And then for some reason, they change it to Kenosha.

Speaker 1 Oh, right before air or something.

Speaker 2 Right before air and I go, Kenosha. And you guys change it to Kenosha.
And it was like, oh, we just liked Kenosha.

Speaker 2 And I was like, I'm doing a voice.

Speaker 2 I'm locked in. It's not a thing.
I can kind of malleable. It's not malleable in a way where I can just start riffing in it.

Speaker 2 I don't know if you ever had shit like that where you were like,

Speaker 2 it was like all these weird lateral moves. at the last minute that would throw you and then they're like, you blew it.

Speaker 2 Just do one phrase and repeat it.

Speaker 1 it that's that's the key i never that's me in the bathroom before the sketch you just go in there and you go have i prepped enough you're like it's coming up have i been around are we at wally and joseph's are we bullshitting in the writer's room like i gotta go lock in and go okay i'm going out there i don't want to go sometimes i'm out there even in stand-up sometimes you're in the middle of your show you go fuck i just i was in a groove because i've done so many shows this week but i didn't go over it right before I went on and just think like, okay, what am I going to walk out?

Speaker 1 You just got to, yeah.

Speaker 2 it's fear of like being on national television going

Speaker 2 wait what yeah

Speaker 2 did did you yeah really seriously i don't even know what i'm reading did you do cold openings i mean because i had a lot of those right to the camp i did one cold opening those are the worst pressure wise

Speaker 2 i hated the cold open i did one that downey wrote where i was uh

Speaker 2 Spitzer. Oh, Elliot Spitzer.
Governor Spitzer, and it was me talking for, you know, seven minutes. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I just, I just, after that was done, I went and just was like, I don't think I can do that again. That was like, I really was, I was terrified.

Speaker 1 Is it there not that many laugh lines in it? Or would just, or was it just too much, too much dialogue?

Speaker 2 It's just, yeah, it's just like,

Speaker 2 it's, and it's, I love Jim. I love Jim so much, but it's dry, you know, it's a, you're starting off the show doing like this dry thing and it gets laughed.

Speaker 1 They're ready to laugh.

Speaker 2 They, it is, they are pumped and excited and the band's playing and it's like 10 seconds, five seconds.

Speaker 2 And then you come out with this thing that you know the first four minutes of it is kind of like set up. And here's a dry bit.
Go. Yes.

Speaker 2 You know, and I love, but it worked. It got, it's, by the way, really funny.
But for my anxiety, it was like, the first four minutes of this is like

Speaker 2 actually not has no jokes there

Speaker 2 just because no

Speaker 2 that's tough you know yeah you have to do that shit all the time dana i feel like i well first of all i just want it for uh s and l listeners the the cold open is when the studio is just getting ready to do the show someone screams out

Speaker 2 10 seconds five seconds

Speaker 2 and then and then the studio the rest of the show there's ambient noise of them moving stuff around while the sketches it's the only one where this the whole studio goes dead quiet true if this doesn't go well, the show has to dig out from under it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you know, yes. So it's the pressure spot.
I had a lot of props and I just started waving my arms a lot, gada digging, gabby, bad. You know, I was just to survive.
Well, you had to get going.

Speaker 2 Those, that has like an energy to it. Yeah, it had high energy.
It makes everyone have functionality.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And then by the time you were doing Bush and stuff, the minute it would come on, we were always like, yeah, but it was like a big character, but it was when it was a thing, like a topical thing.

Speaker 2 Yes. And Elliot Spitzer was not as, you know, it was only a, it was a good story for a week and no one knew what he talked about.

Speaker 2 It was, you know, I think after that I was in cold opens, but it was like, you know, we'll bring you to Congress hearing.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 There was one time I had to go into the booth because I recorded a

Speaker 2 a

Speaker 2 thing for the pre-tape, you know, the scroll, like, you know, this week in Alabama, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know,

Speaker 2 whatever current thing happened.

Speaker 2 And they ran to me and they're going, the tape's not working. You got to go do it live.

Speaker 2 So I ran into the

Speaker 2 booth with my headphones on, and it's just everyone yelling and screaming, is he in the booth? Is he in the booth? And I'm like, I'm here right now. It's like, all right, Aanko.

Speaker 1 And now we're live. Oh, that Don Pardo booth over there.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And there's no

Speaker 2 scroll.

Speaker 2 Oh. I just have the script, and I'm reading over black because something went wrong.

Speaker 2 So I'm reading over black. I'm trying to remember what I did.
I did it Thursday.

Speaker 2 And I'm going, okay, I do the whole thing. I'm like, Jesus Christ.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I, the sketch starts, and I go to sit down. Pardo's in there.

Speaker 2 Don Pardo? And Pardo goes, get off of me.

Speaker 2 Get off of me, Bill Hayter, the great Don Don Boto!

Speaker 2 Get off my foot! The whole time I was doing that, he was just sitting on the thing in that small booth, and I didn't see him because I was so freaked out. And then I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ,

Speaker 2 I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 It's like he's on the toilet and you sit on him.

Speaker 2 You're like, oh, hysterical.

Speaker 2 Rob Schneider.

Speaker 2 Jim Belushi. Jim Belushi.

Speaker 2 Jim Belushi.

Speaker 1 You've heard that, right? No.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Someone underlined Jim.

Speaker 2 Oh, no. Jim Belushi.

Speaker 2 As a dick move to Jim Belushi.

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Speaker 1 Masterclass.com/slash fly. Listen, Dana, if you're like me, you're like me a little bit.

Speaker 2 I think so. Yeah.

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Speaker 2 Terra Origin, feel better from the inside out.

Speaker 2 We can't do everything about you, but we should say, should we talk about Barry or your...

Speaker 2 I think my wife did not realize that you went into Second City and was discovered in a backyard doing improv. So

Speaker 2 that might be interesting for a second, but your trajectory to SNL was sort of interesting in that way. And then your story on SNL became fascinating because you are a Hall of Famer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're a first ballot Hall of Famer.

Speaker 2 Put it this way, Bill, this is what I say to people. If someone said to me, Bill Hayter was the greatest of all time sketch player in SNL, I wouldn't slug them in the face.
That's really sweet.

Speaker 2 I would have to think

Speaker 2 coming from you guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you had a great cast, though, too. You were surrounded by solid shit.

Speaker 2 Kristen Wigg, Andy Sandberg, Jace, uh, Will Forte, Fred Armerson, Amy Puller. I mean, Seth Meyers, Daryl Hammond, Jason Sudeikis are your bandmates.
I mean, yeah, Maya Rudolph was there.

Speaker 2 Maya Rudolph overlapped. Yeah,

Speaker 2 it was crazy. Yeah, I was Keenan Thompson.
Keenan Thompson's actually the guy that I would sit. He would do these, those what up with that sketches.
And I was so anxious on air.

Speaker 2 And I would sit and watch him do those because I was, I had no lines in those sketches. And I would just sit there and think like, I just need to get to be like that.
How can I get that loose?

Speaker 2 and have that much fun on air. Look how much fun he is having.
He does. I agree.
I agree. I don't think I ever got there.
He has, he's like behind

Speaker 2 his joy is just right behind his eyes.

Speaker 2 And sort of in his mouth, you just feel it. He was the guy that when people talk about, I was like, Keenan Thompson was the guy I was always, he would do update.

Speaker 2 I would go out on the floor to watch him do update because I was just like, he's just such a,

Speaker 2 it's Keenan.

Speaker 1 Do you have to take that?

Speaker 2 It's Keenan going like, what are you saying about me?

Speaker 2 No, but it was just, he was just one of those guys that when I would.

Speaker 2 I would just, I was always kind of knocked out by how loose he was and how much fun he had. had.
And we would be in sketches together. Yeah.
And I was like, God, he can just knock this out.

Speaker 2 It was kind of like what you were saying earlier. Like, you could throw anything at him.
He never seemed thrown. He was just a pro

Speaker 2 and lovely all the time. He's one of those guys who could be bullshitting with you about something totally innocuous.

Speaker 2 And then you go on live television and he destroys it and then comes back and he picks the conversation back up. I love that.

Speaker 2 I'm like, you know,

Speaker 2 yeah, you got to get ready.

Speaker 1 Did you guys ever hear that you guys weren't that good? Because obviously now you look back and it's always different eyes.

Speaker 2 Pretty all-star.

Speaker 2 I want to say the Washington Post or something wrote a review my first season that was like, who the fuck? Like me and Sudakis and Forte were interchangeable.

Speaker 2 Who do you think you are?

Speaker 2 Yeah, this is terrible. And living in New York, too, you didn't, you know, people would just, I remember a guy on a cab cab driver went, hey, SNL, you fucking suck.

Speaker 2 Everybody has the cab drivers.

Speaker 2 Or, like, you know, you go into a deli and the guys are like, they don't use you. Why don't they use you? They don't use you anymore.

Speaker 1 They haven't even watched for two years.

Speaker 2 Yeah, everyone wants to get you bitter. Yeah.
Your relatives, everybody. They don't use it.

Speaker 2 I go, I get a guy who's going, hey, got any movies coming out?

Speaker 1 It's like the dumbest, easiest question. I go, ah, no.

Speaker 1 I go they did that wrong missy I didn't see that anything else I go well it takes a year to shoot it it takes a year to come out yeah it takes a year to get another one and I'm like so you missed this you're five years behind he's like yeah what else he actually said the guy works at a deliverance where's Chris Pratt been you never see him anymore I go He was in Jurassic World and the raccoon one.

Speaker 1 And he goes, oh, yeah, I didn't see those.

Speaker 2 I go, well, why am I going by you? Who the fuck?

Speaker 2 You're giving Chris. If he's not doing well, no one is.
My God. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 2 I didn't see Coda. Tell me about Coda.

Speaker 1 Is that the deaf one?

Speaker 2 Is this Chris Pratt in that? See, he's not in shit.

Speaker 2 Does he play Coda?

Speaker 2 You know why? I saw you on Saturday Night Live. I thought you were a woman.
I saw that woman character guy thing you did. I thought you were a woman.

Speaker 2 Hey,

Speaker 2 but the one I always got was, why don't they use you?

Speaker 2 I know one of the issues

Speaker 1 when I'm in a wig, you you don't know it's me. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Hey, is that show live? Do you really take

Speaker 2 that?

Speaker 2 And then for a while, it was like, what's Kristen Wigg's situation?

Speaker 1 What's her situation?

Speaker 2 Is she a nice person?

Speaker 2 What's his situation? She's stuck up.

Speaker 2 Hey, what's up with Dale Hammond?

Speaker 2 Is he stuck up?

Speaker 2 You think he'd be my friend? He looks like a friendly guy. I fancy myself on that show once in a while.
You know, I threw a cake this with my friends. Anyway, what ten friends are there, Prof.

Speaker 2 Good luck with that. All right?

Speaker 2 All right, let's wrap it up with this. Let's talk about Barry.
Oh, Barry, real quick.

Speaker 1 Really quick.

Speaker 2 I'm kidding. I don't need to talk about it.
Barry, everyone loves it. 30.
I mean,

Speaker 2 it's an unbelievable show. It really is.

Speaker 2 It's shocking. I mean, you're this sketch player.
You're so brilliant at it. You do the voice.
You do Cloudy with Meatballs, this and that.

Speaker 2 And then I hear you're going to do this. I'm like, huh, what'll that be like? I was like one of those guys.
What are you going all drama for? You're fucking funny.

Speaker 2 But then the show is brilliant and you're brilliant in it.

Speaker 2 And the first show of the first season where your character comes in and watches the acting class and you're not saying anything just in that moment.

Speaker 2 It was like the show just completely hooked me right there. Yeah.
You know, and of course, because I like people like your cast, you know, Stephan Root. I mean, yeah, yeah, so fucking great.

Speaker 2 Sarah Goldberg, Anthony

Speaker 2 Kerrigan is amazing. Anthony Kerrigan is no-ho Hank.
That's what

Speaker 2 I really love, yeah.

Speaker 2 And of course, Henry Winkler is so brilliant. So congratulations, Hank Winkler.
You just had it's third.

Speaker 2 Hank Winkler. I'll say, I have,

Speaker 2 you know, the nicest guy in the world. I'm at the improv in 1981.
I do, I think, a mediocre set. I go outside in the bar.
I've not been on TV or anything. I just hear a voice behind me going, Stella.

Speaker 2 Stella. It was a Stella performance, and it's Henry Winkler.
Smooth as silk. You landed all your jokes.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's so

Speaker 1 fucking nice.

Speaker 2 And that was

Speaker 1 talking to you. You must have shit your pants, Dana.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was Henry Winkler. It was a big, big deal for him to give me that at that moment.

Speaker 1 Pinky Tuscadero there, be honest.

Speaker 1 Pinky, you know, sorry, that's from happy days.

Speaker 2 Friedman was. Take it outside.

Speaker 2 Not in the halls. Not the outside.
Not in the hall. Take it outside.

Speaker 2 So what, what do you

Speaker 2 so?

Speaker 2 This Barry thing. What do you want to say about Barry? I think today the trailer.

Speaker 2 The official trailer came out.

Speaker 1 Today, this comes out in two years. Okay.

Speaker 1 Bill,

Speaker 1 is this the one where you direct all of them?

Speaker 2 No, I directed five of them. And

Speaker 2 yeah, so I really love directing. That's like, I love doing that.
It's so much fun. But it does, it's this weird thing where people are like, oh, how do you act and direct?

Speaker 2 But you kind of write a character that doesn't talk a lot.

Speaker 2 So I have to worry about that.

Speaker 2 And then when I get the lines, I forget them.

Speaker 1 It's hard to do it all. I can't can't even fucking act.
I can't do it.

Speaker 2 Actually, being SNL was, you know, who was actually Chris. Brock was the guy I was talking to.
I was like, yeah, I might, I want to direct at some point.

Speaker 2 And I asked him, because he directed, and he goes, if you could do SNL, you can direct because you have to.

Speaker 1 You sort of direct your sketches, right?

Speaker 2 You saw your sketches. Yeah.
So when we did the pilot for Barry, me talking to, you know, you know, heads of departments and props.

Speaker 1 Props and all these things, I kind of knew I had confidence in what I wanted and stuff but that was totally from s n l from doing that you know it's hard when they go what kind of drapes do you want you're like these are these yeah and you go uh i'm just worried about the jokes yeah you're good at going that one this one

Speaker 2 you got to make a hundred of those a day yeah all day and then and then they go well the ones you pick now don't work and it's like okay well which ones do work oh that's great love it you know whatever yeah but i think having being

Speaker 2 having that confidence and i think the thing that snl did i don't know what you guys feel about but took that like romanticism out of like creating, you know, and it was just like we had to do a show on Saturday.

Speaker 2 So it was kind of like, there was no, I have to go look out a window and write in my notebook

Speaker 2 about everything. It's like, no, we got to, we're like under a table up on the 17th floor eating pizza, scribbling real quick, you know, or

Speaker 2 reading shit in the bathroom going, fuck, okay, I got to go do this on national television in five minutes, you know.

Speaker 2 So everything seems downhill after that. Exactly.
Mind's easy after that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bill, I have a director question. Sometimes, because I don't, I've never directed anything, and I wonder when the director yells action.

Speaker 1 Uh, there's a times, there's some sets I've been on where the first AD yells action. I don't like it.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think to be a director, the only thing you want to do is yell action. That's the whole fun thing.

Speaker 2 I actually, I totally get that. And I've been on those sets too.
I actually have like my first AD.

Speaker 2 Sometimes you have first ADs and they're kind of like,

Speaker 2 you know, you work well together, but you're not partners. I have this guy, Gavin Klein Top, who I

Speaker 2 is like my partner in the thing. He's like a, he's amazing.
He's also a big film

Speaker 2 geek. So like that episode you were talking about, Dana, where you don't see the guy.
I can explain to him

Speaker 2 the karate girl episode and go, this is a coverage I'm thinking. And he goes, I totally get it.
You know,

Speaker 2 I'll figure out how to make that work. So he says it.
He does say it, but also I'm in scenes. And there is a thing when you're working with people and you're in a scene together.

Speaker 2 A thing that I've been doing that all the actors are like, can you please stop doing it? It's because I'm writing the stuff too, is I'm mouthing the word. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Can I, can I tell you who else did that?

Speaker 2 Johnny Carson. Really? When I was first out in a scene, because you do the prep interview.
and so I would see his mouth moving along. You know, I'm going, isn't that special?

Speaker 2 And Johnny's bone is so special. Yeah, same thing.
So, wow. How did you, do you get rid of that? Or that makes it so cautious?

Speaker 2 You know, Henry was very sweet, like, Bill, you're doing a great job, but it grows me a little bit when you're mouthing along with me, especially in some of these more intense scenes. Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry.
So, yeah, it is like,

Speaker 2 you know, Conan does that a little bit. I remember being on Conan.

Speaker 2 Conan.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Conan will do it again.

Speaker 2 I didn't want to say Conan because he's a good friend. No, no, but I was saying it as someone who does it.

Speaker 1 But listen, when you look at that old, not to bring it back, that one gap girls lay off me. I'm starving.
I'm so scared it won't do well and it won't do as good as dress. I am mouthing along.

Speaker 2 Really?

Speaker 1 And I haven't really heard someone say that before, but now that you're saying it, I go, you can see it in the sketch

Speaker 2 Because you're so in.

Speaker 1 I want him to nail it so perfectly. And I'm like, fuck.

Speaker 2 And please make sure this works. You know, and I think everybody kind of thinks like we're just having fun up there, but it's like, there's so much pressure.

Speaker 1 But I didn't know I was doing it. And probably you didn't know.

Speaker 2 I had no idea I was doing it. And I've had Stephen Root.
and Henry Winkler both said,

Speaker 2 everyone come with a

Speaker 2 please, please stop meddling along with us. And I'm like, I am so sorry, but it is, you're just

Speaker 2 so locked in to you know what's happening. Do you like

Speaker 2 one hallmark of a show that's really working is that every there's no weakness, like every actor on Barry seems like that's the person that had to play that part, and they're so good.

Speaker 2 So, you psychologically, and with all your experience, do you change your directing style depending on who you're talking to in terms of like that little note right before you go, trying to give them confidence?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. I mean, like, Steven Root and Sarah Goldberg are feeder people, you know, like very feeder trained.
And so

Speaker 2 you don't, um, they, they come in pretty prepared. Sarah, especially, like, she is super prepared.
So it's like gentle, like,

Speaker 2 oh, maybe you have like a little private moment in the middle of this, or maybe try this. But yeah, and then, you know, Henry is kind of

Speaker 2 free-flowing,

Speaker 2 kind of, you know,

Speaker 2 so you emotional.

Speaker 2 And so so he's kind of, oh, he needs more,

Speaker 2 you know, like we did a scene this season where he

Speaker 2 has to enter it really angry.

Speaker 2 And so he was like, I could see him being angry and stuff. And so he was taking a broom and throwing it on the ground.
And I was like, oh, good. Can make sure Props has a broom there for him.

Speaker 2 We'll never see it. But he needs something to just kind of go smash something and then enter the scene, you know?

Speaker 2 Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 And,

Speaker 2 you know, stuff like that, you know. Yeah.
And then a lot of it is you try to stay out of their way. But then I do in that way of like,

Speaker 2 because I'm also acting in it.

Speaker 2 It's a thing I've had to try to rein in as I can't help but be like,

Speaker 2 you know, and this is also at SNL. I had no problem if it was a sketch item.
I was like, you know, it's more like we were saying about Downey. You know, it's more like the rhythm is this.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Actors don't like that.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's a fine line.

Speaker 1 Do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 At SNL, I didn't have, I don't know about you guys, but I had no problem going to Andy or somebody and going, like, you know, it's,

Speaker 2 you know. Oh, yeah.
And people,

Speaker 2 people would ask for it. If you were the writer of the sketch, I would ask, like, well, what are you thinking here? Yeah.
You know, what do you think? Yeah, what do we do? The Kaysims, which is one of

Speaker 2 the hardest, that's John Malaney's favorite sketch we ever wrote. It died at dress.

Speaker 2 But the whole thing

Speaker 2 is rhythm.

Speaker 2 The whole thing is rhythm. The whole thing is rhythm.
There's nothing else. There's nothing else to it but rhythm.

Speaker 2 Casey Kaysome, father, son.

Speaker 2 And then you did it at Largo.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we did it at Largo with you. Yeah, you were there.
Yeah. Yeah, we did.

Speaker 2 And we, we, if the audience doesn't hook the premise, and sometimes at SNL, it just gets lost that first 30 seconds. What is going on here?

Speaker 2 And then it just, you know, but it was a quiet sketch and very dry. But at Largo, we really set it up.
Yeah, yeah. We had them on our side.
Surprise. And

Speaker 2 but my, yeah, but yeah, the point, yeah, that thing on Barry is like, you can't go, hey, the rhythm is this.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 People will go,

Speaker 2 please don't tell me how to.

Speaker 1 Some people literally go, give me a line reading.

Speaker 2 Yeah, sometimes that'll happen.

Speaker 2 Not so much on Barry, but sometimes Henry will be like, just tell me how you want me to say it.

Speaker 2 But yeah, everybody's a little different.

Speaker 2 And mostly, I just know, you guys know from acting and things, the biggest thing I think is actors just don't, they don't want to look like idiots. They don't want to look foolish.

Speaker 2 They want to make sure they're they want confidence. Like, I've never understood that's it.
I've worked with directors that their whole thing is kind of browbeating you.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Never understand it. And so to me, it's just like, but at the same time, smart actors can kind of sniff out if everything's great.

Speaker 2 That's not good either.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Where it's like, beautiful, beautiful.
I love it. I love it.
People.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Fred Wolf would always go, oh, that's great.
That's really great.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's just incredible.

Speaker 2 You know, you might want to just try this one thing, which I appreciate that about him. I was never in a movie with him like David, but I think that that is the challenge of being a director.

Speaker 2 I had a director who give me 10 notes between takes. 10, 10.
And I was just like, it turned into nothing. I don't see it.

Speaker 1 More energy, less energy.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Or people being like,

Speaker 2 you know, very precious about the words. You know, that you can see sometimes of an actor's like, you know, struggling with a line.
You can go, just say it and how you would say it.

Speaker 2 But here's the information that we want to get across is this, you know.

Speaker 1 Right. I've been locked into lines.
They get really mad if you change one word. What's that? One word.

Speaker 1 Were you doing? And they, yeah, they change. If you change one word, because it sounds more real, and they go, no, we got to do the whole thing over.
And you go, what happened?

Speaker 1 You go, you flip these two and you go, it's the same exact thought. I get, I get it's your writing, but.

Speaker 2 no i had that once on a show or movie where the writer was directing and came over and was like you know there's a comma there for a reason and i was yeah exactly

Speaker 2 it's not that good

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 trying to spice it up trying to give it but you know as long as the the general thing is there you know i don't i'm not i'm not that stoked on if we can kind find something better yeah sarah goldberg and Anthony Kerrigan, especially are two people who can come in and make,

Speaker 2 we'll come up with lines or say, Anthony will just improvise it. But Sarah was like, hey, I was working on it and I was thinking maybe I could say this, this, and this.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, oh, yeah, try that. You know, that's perfect.
So it's not over-rehearsed and they could just get it. Yeah, just try stuff in a way.
And then.

Speaker 2 But then, yeah, you know, I've done this too, though, where you improvise a thing and it's like, now we're getting way off course.

Speaker 2 Yeah. The story is this.
You guys are going over here. Can we, you know, so it's like, it's like a nice balance, I think, of, of,

Speaker 2 of that, you know, with people. But I do think when you're acting with people,

Speaker 2 it's hard because their scene partners telling them what to do, you know? So that's always, I'm always very conscious of that, you know. When, yeah, I wonder, have you done a Woody Allen movie?

Speaker 2 I guess no one does it anymore, but you know, he's

Speaker 2 starting to be facetious. Yeah, because

Speaker 1 Andre Preven.

Speaker 2 John Kuzak told me once, he goes, you know, it sounds like you're acting, you know, so you should try to make it seem like you're not like just acting, you know.

Speaker 1 Oh, that was a note.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but just maybe the writer, because maybe the writer, which would be me. No, you're a wonderful.

Speaker 2 No, you're a beautiful, intelligent woman.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You're a beautiful, intelligent boy.

Speaker 2 But talk about a writer-director.

Speaker 2 So it looks like, if I had to guess, you'll do whatever seasons of Barry, and then you'll be out on the reservation being a film director, which you dreamed of at age 10.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty much. Yeah.
But it's fun. You know, it's been, it's a weird securitous road to the thing that you always wanted to do, but it's fun.

Speaker 1 How fun that you get to do a show and you get to be in it. And what a, what a blast.

Speaker 2 And it represents your sensibility, what you want. You're working with like-minded people, your partner, Alex.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. And you, you know, it's dark and this season, especially is incredibly, you know,

Speaker 2 brutal at times. But I, I don't know.
It's nice to kind of have that in it. And it just feels right.
Again, it's that instinctive thing.

Speaker 2 It's like we're talking about death and people getting murdered and stuff. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I wondered about that watching

Speaker 2 season one and season two, the darkness and the lightness and the comedy beats, you know, right on the edge. You know, you must have been thinking about that as you go along.

Speaker 2 How funny can this be before it ticks us away from the story?

Speaker 2 Always threading the needle with that,

Speaker 2 but doing it beautifully. It's working, you know.
Yeah, this season was definitely like, oh, let's push that maybe a little bit when you're trying to be honest with what the

Speaker 2 material is. Just go at that.
But sometimes I wonder if it's just getting older. You see friends getting older and people are dying older.
Yeah, you want to go darker.

Speaker 2 Have it kind of start to be, yeah. You know,

Speaker 2 life happens and it's like, oh, if I'm going to do this, we should be kind of honest about it. Where I feel if I did the show in my 20s, it'd be a little bit more glib.
Right. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's an inevitable trajectory as life beats you up.

Speaker 2 That shit really happens on this planet to everybody.

Speaker 2 Wow. Wow.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 anyway, we're finished with part one. We're going to take a short break.
Our guest today is Bill Hayter.

Speaker 1 Bill's like, oh, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 Bill, do you have anything more you want to say? Because we loved having you. I had a great time.
Oh, man. It's like awesome being here.
And yeah, man, it's crazy.

Speaker 2 I'm being genuine. It's very cool getting to talk to you guys.
I'm still, yeah. It's just awesome.
Well, I'm up on the ladder from you. I'm up.

Speaker 2 David's a half step down from me and you're the other way down. So thank you.
I'm an elder at this point, which is great. But look how fit I am.
I mean, it's amazing. My energy.
I look stark.

Speaker 2 It's amazing. Yeah, I know you can't see it.

Speaker 2 No, I feel good. I'm working on a scripted podcast with my sons, which is so much fun.
It's like making a movie. Very difficult,

Speaker 2 just all voice acting and effects. But I'm having a blast doing that.
It's called The Weird Place. David, a little plug before we go.
This will be our biggest episode.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Go on the road and watch me at DavidSpade.com. No, I'm kidding.

Speaker 2 Dana, wait, do you know that your your son, your impression of your sons is the Californians?

Speaker 2 I was flattered that Fred Armison told me that I thought it could. I mean, I feel that voice was in the ether, but it was pretty much all we're going to do today.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's you impersonating your son.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 then the

Speaker 2 first time they did that sketch. he was doing a different voice okay oh and then he switched it out oh and then at dress he came out and went

Speaker 2 and we all were like, if you see it, I think it's online, Crystal there going,

Speaker 2 what is he doing?

Speaker 2 That's what. And we lost losing.
That's what that sketch, when it first hit me, that you were all going to do that voice and then talk about how to drive around LA.

Speaker 2 That has hit me like a ton of bricks. It was so fucking, I'm going to take thousands.

Speaker 2 Well, that was a bit we did when we would come back from LA and you would be at the table waiting for Lauren to show up on Wednesday. Yeah.
And then everybody would go, hey, I just went to LA.

Speaker 2 And it's like, and then someone go, how'd you get there? And it's like, well, I took four or five.

Speaker 2 But to do it with those voices, no, I'm going to take 405. No, but that's your impression of your son is the voice we're doing.
All right, I'll take that.

Speaker 1 Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app, give us a review, five-star rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend.

Speaker 2 If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now.

Speaker 1 Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey, an executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Maddie Sprung-Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey.

Speaker 2 Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet Tech.

Speaker 1 Booking by Cultivated Entertainment.

Speaker 2 Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Maura Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira.

Speaker 1 Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. You can email us at flyonthewall at odyssey.com.
That's a U-D A C Y.com.