SUPERFLY #54 - Cartoon HOTNESS

Listen, make this your best season yet with nutritious two-minute meals from Factor. Eating well has never been this easy.
What you do is you just heat it up, eat it, give you more time to do what you want. Listen, you got to get outside instead of prepping and cooking indoors.
Factor meals arrive fresh and ready to eat. Perfect for any active lifestyle.
You got, I don't know, 45 weekly menu options.

That's a lot.

Yeah.

Yeah. And you can pick gourmet meals that fit your goals.
David, choose, get this, from CalorieSmart, Protein Plus, Keto, and more. Yeah.
I'd probably go Protein Plus. But factor powers your day with satisfying breakfast, on, on the go lunches, premium dinners, guilt-free snacks and desserts.
You're always feeling guilty about everything, Dana, but you should just, you eat them and you don't think about it. I know.
You tear up whenever you have like a popsicle, but my point is this. I have a popsicle.
It's easy to savor more this spring. Factor Meals, pack in the flavor with none of the fuss.

Zero fuss.

Listen, that's the way I like it.

Get started at factormeals.com slash fly50off and use code fly50off, the 5-0.

That's 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. That's code fly50off at at factormills.com slash FLY50OFF for 50% off plus free shipping.
Buying a home is one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make. And in California, it can feel even bigger from figuring out what you can afford to navigating offers, escrow, inspections, and closings.
It's a lot to take on alone. That's where a realtor comes in.
A realtor is more than a real estate agent. They're a guide, a strategist, and your go-to expert for every step of the home buying process.
They handle the complexities, the paperwork, and the stress so you don't have to. No guesswork, no going in alone, just clarity, confidence, and someone in your corner from start to finish when the stakes are high having a trusted

professional makes all the difference don't let what you don't know stop you from starting your

next chapter find your realtor at championsofhome.com what's up chewy chewbacca somebody

had a gig i love that you were like driving to the airport and just said keep going yeah

Thank you. Somebody had a gig.
I love that you were like driving to the airport and just said, keep going. Yeah.
I tried to drive the airport and we couldn't. They bumped the flight back an hour.
Then we waited and they bumped it another hour. Then they bumped it six hours.
Oh, then it was what they call a no-brainer i didn't know it was gonna be a six hours at the airport yeah i was gonna be like it would no we were on the way so we're just like um and then we didn't know what to do so i said let's just drive it was a fun casino gig up at table mountain but it was actually great up there but then i'm like what are we four and a half hours? Yuck. So we roughed it to Spade, man.
Toughest motherfucker out there. Yeah, it's unbelievable how you can ride back of those giant SUVs and just take the punishment.
Yeah. I took it.
Bobby and Catherine. Oh.
Like three kids just fighting and deciding when to stop and do everything.

Catherine opens as well?

Yeah, Catherine, Blanford, she does some time.

Bobby, Miyamoto does some time.

And then I do some time.

Jeez.

Yeah. It's like waiting for Beyonce.

Oops, hold on. Two seconds.
Take this part out. We're back.
I don't know why we have to take that out. No, it's so grody.
But I will say that was a cute, we drove by Magic Mountain. As I've always said, I've been there three times.
Definitely more mountain than magic. I'll stand by it.
That's a pretty good joke. That's not bad, is it? I went there once.
They put me in a room. I was with my sister-in-law.
She was like 10. They put you in this round room, and they start spinning you around, and then the floor drops out.
Oh, that's the roundup. I was nauseous for hours after that.
Oh, these rides, it's like a car crash. They're like, you drive 80 miles an hour into a pole.
And then you're like. And then some guy beats the shit out of you.
And then you get up. And then you get up.
Everyone throws up. And I'm like, people are calling lawyers.
I'm like, is this a ride? Am I supposed to be having fun for $299? Yeah. And then you get a guy and they say it's like 400 bucks, like at Disneyland, if you want a guide to basically do little to nothing.
And so I said, yeah, for sure. I wish they would just fan me because it was 107 when I went last time.
Hottest day of the year. So I get this guy and they go, it's four four hundred dollars per person get fucked are you joking i'm like this jeez she just pulled out cash nice side nice sound effect i went spontaneously to disneyland with paula uh about six months ago just Oh Let's go now Saturday 11 a.m.
Let's just drive there Fuck it

Let's just go

So they go paula uh about six months ago just oh let's go now saturday 11 no let's just drive there

fuck it let's just go so they go well disneyland is full we're not taking anyone else it was sold out weird but if you buy a ticket to california adventure we'll let you buy a ticket to disneyland So that was $2,700.

Whoa, Scamboree.

Why?

Because they're like right next to each other. They're right next to each other.
Scamboree. No, no, but it was definitely like $800.
And I said, fuck it. We're not going to be in Disneyland again.
So, and then we just, uh, had people all around us. We could barely move for like six hours.
Oh, you didn't? Oh, people are saying hi to you? hi to you no no just human beings i've got the baseball cap nobody recognized me like like look at this i have the sunglasses like who's this what's up just this just that that's all they see you it's like a mob they should have a ride after you welcome to david spade circus carnivals roller coaster last night the casino they have all these swat people. They come into your room and get you and bring you to the kitchen.
We go to this great little restaurant. And then they take me back.
They take you out and I have to go like 100 feet of casino to get to the back elevator. And it's all people from the show.
You walk smack down. Hey, are Oh, I know.
Hey, are you? I know they, they, when I checked in, they, they said, we can give you a coupons. When I last time I played a big casino up in Northern California.
And then they basically, I didn't get them and they were chasing me down throughout the whole weekend. I just be in the casino.
Hey, we got the, we got the coupons. You can get the quarter off, half off, you know? Yeah.
I go into, I go into that 6% off breakfast buffet and eat with everybody. I'm going to just say it.
You're a man of the people. Go ahead.
A couple of things before we get started that. Yeah.
Before we start our, I know that, I know that you're gonna like this thing about luca coming to the lakers uh i'm i'm a little perplexed i'm a little uh wondering what is going on i didn't see that coming what's your hot take mine is why on god's green earth are they giving Luca away for Anthony Davis. I mean, unless they know something about Luca,

we don't. Luka's so great, and I'm always mad because the Phoenix Suns could have had him with their first round pick a couple years ago, and they took Aiton.
And Aiton was not a bust, but he was okay. And Luka was like, unreal.
When you're rooting for the team that has Luke, uh, against the Dallas Mavericks, just cause your team, the Warriors are playing them. He's, he breaks your heart because it's just too much power, too many weapons with too little effort.
So either he's got a stress factor, Anthony Davis healthy, but it's 31 versus 25 as far as age, so it's perplexing. And he's, you know, a lot

of these players, I hate to say,

you know, what my

opinions are.

People say, don't talk about sports, you guys,

and don't talk about politics. I'm like, well, what's left?

Well, all we can do

to talk is Baldini versus

Lively. Yeah, that's the one I hear.

This court is in session. But, like, even Shaq said, which I didn't agree with Shaq, Jimmy Butler has a deal with the Heat.
He doesn't want to play anymore. So these guys lay down.
They go, trade me. I'm not playing anymore.
I'm just going to say I'm sick or whatever. And they're like, but you're making $50 million a year to play your best.
Nah. They run the show.
NBA, they really really run the show we mean the players or the yeah the players do and i don't i don't think it's i just think do your deal and when it's over yeah go do whatever you want get whatever you can but to to sort of take a dive i don't know and a lot of them are sitting out and where's zion does he play a lot is Is, I just don't know. I don't know enough.
I just know enough to make people mad. Is a human freak for people don't know.
Uh, what is he? Six, seven, six, eight, two 70 and can touch the top of the backboard. Like he can take almost 300 pounds and he's not that tall and touch the top.
I mean, his insane his skills but tends to that big body going up and down he gets a lot of injuries the one thing i would like to do is talk to jimmy butler because on the surface it seems like what you're getting 50 million it's kind of disrespectful it's pat riley it's the heat the organization but i'd like to know his point of view because it does seem, you know. Okay.
What about Zelensky? What did he do today? Because we're taping this before Friday. So all these stories are old.
Zelensky, he's trending now again? Yeah, he's trending because he says, oh, Greg could probably find it. He says he got money from us, but he only got, I think, 58% of what we promised.
So he doesn't know where the other $100 billion is. Oh, no.
Another missing billions. I don't know.
Billions are too much to keep an eye on. That's my humble opinion.
Used to be millions, hard enough. A billion, a billion here.
Who knows if it's going to work? I think it. And this was under the radar, but Biden sent Gavin Newsom with a big fat check and make sure it make sure it gets in zelinski's hands does not know where the hundred billion is this is california level of incompetence fucking up yeah i mean look at this so california was famous because they lost 20 million in homeless money they didn't lose they just don't where.
They don't know where it went. And it was to solve homeless.
And we got more homeless. And we don't know where the 20 billion is.
I'm not making that up. It makes you not want to pay taxes because you go, just do fix a road.
Do something. See, don't just make everything worse.
More money and everything gets worse. So this is, I don't know how the Ukraine stitch worked, but it was shoveling out so much.

I don't know unless he has, you know, maybe Zelensky has two accounts and he forgot and put it in the other one.

I don't know.

That happens to me.

Maybe they sent it by Zell or maybe they sent it.

What's the one that people always ask?

Oh, Van Mo.

I don't know.

You know, where's the money? Where does it go i it's like doge is working on it you know yeah blah dog mega dog mega he goes like this hey biden where's that other missing 100 billion do you have um vanmo and he's like yeah and then he gets it he goes okay i got it he goes oh also when we had dinner the other day because sometimes people do that you go oh we had dinner and uh you had a steak and lobster so you owe me money from dinner so they send you money you know what i mean oh i ate one of your pickles yeah ven is cool. We should get them as a sponsor.

I owe you a nickel.

Does it make the sound or does the person make the sound?

I mean, it has to make something.

It's funnier if it makes a noise because they send back and forth.

The problem with those things is, I think Heather will attest this.

If you don't fix the setting, it says what you spend it on, right?

And who you're paying.

You can be private.

But if you're not fix the setting it says what you spend it on right and who you're paying you can be private but if you're not it's like you bought whatever right it's who wants that i do twenty dollars for drugs you bought off me right you can see anybody in your contacts yeah we'd see denn in your contacts. Yeah, we'd see Dennis Miller.

We'd see Kevin Nealon when he's getting what pickles he's buying.

Oh, there's no privacy to it?

Yeah.

Yeah, see?

Well, young people don't use cash, David.

A newsflash.

I know you've always got a wad of cash with you.

Yep.

But young people, they'll just do venmo or whatever square or whatever

payment they can square abacus all right that was our zelinski sorry yeah i'm not even going to tell you about the ants that invaded my house because you couldn't even get your head around it how complicated it is we've had invasions here ants seem cool they seem cool they're pretty much what i've learned is they're just always there they decide when they're going to terrorize you because they do like water did you know that they like water well guess what what you do is you get a cotton ball and you put something in it and then you put it around and some poison in the cotton ball. So the soldier ants, they're all about the queen.
They're all about the queen. The soldier ants eat the cotton candy and then they go back and they give it.
They go here, queen. The queen eats the cotton candy poison.
She dies. The whole colony is destroyed.
So I don't know if you got ear there with a big thing arrayed like woody allen and annie hall this isn't rookie amateur hour we heather has some organic stuff she sprays down but i'd say when i went to bed there's like 30 but i didn't deal with it. I go 30, I'll wake up.
Maybe they'll dissipate.

Woke up, 5,000.

But they're on a wall too.

So what I figured out, me, is there are these thick streams.

It was behind the coffee machine.

They weren't behind it, Dana.

There's this much water in the coffee machine.

So one of those scouter ants goes back and says, guys, I think I found a lot of water.

And not just water.

No, it's just water.

But that's good.

But it's just water, but that's good. It's water.
That's all we want. And I think we should bring everybody, literally everybody and check it out.
And all the ants go. And then the one ant, the little scout ants there with his dad going, I did good.
Dad did nine. He's like, you did.
You found us all water. And then they get there.
And the next day they're all floating in the water because they croaked. There was too much water.
And you know, some of the, you know, the soldier ants aren't the brightest ants. The dumb answer in the front line.
And they're like, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, swear to God, there was a cup of hot coffee over here 20 minutes ago. That's the really dumb ants have a Brooklyn accent.
Yeah, they're like this. What are we doing? Hey, what do you want from me? I told you there was water here.
What do you think I am, a magician or some shit like that? I'm a fucking ant. I only got eight seconds to live.
Give a brother a break. They only live 22 seconds.
So they get in there

and there's also a little caffeine in the coffee.

So they're like, it's not like they're

busy bees enough, but they're

everywhere.

All over my house. They don't even know why they're walking.

They're just like gacked out on

caffeine. Yeah.

I'm still talking like

this is an ant. Wouldn't Woody Allen star in a movie? I'm bringing him up again.
Ants, yeah. Cartoon.
Yeah. No one saw it.
Good night. And the worker ants are like, agua fria.
And the ants from Mexico are like, all right, let's get to that's not important, even though it sort of was. Let's get to the stories.
No, I wish you the best. I wish you the best.
Thank you. As a small biz owner, you don't have the luxury of clocking out early.
This is very true. Your business is on your mind 24 seven.
So when you're hiring, you need a partner that grinds it out just as hard as you do. That hiring partner is LinkedIn jobs.
When you clock out, LinkedIn clocks in. LinkedIn makes it easy to post your job for free, share it with your network and get qualified candidates that you can manage all in one place.
Yeah. I think when you're trying to hire someone, there's a lot of different things you're looking for, but you want them to kind of have your, your aesthetic, your sensibility.
If you were, you could look up those words, David. Sure.
Um, and that's hard to have a chemistry, uh, and match. So LinkedIn is, is going to try to shorten that for that process for you and make sure you find someone's heard of LinkedIn I mean that's why because it's been around forever people really like it new feature can help you write job descriptions and then quickly get your job right in front of the right people with deep candidate insights either post your job for free you can pay to bump it up and promote it.
Promoted jobs get three times more qualified applicants. At the end of the day, the most important thing to your small business is the quality, quality of candidates.
With LinkedIn, you can feel confident that you're getting the best, David. Based on LinkedIn data, 72% of SMBs using LinkedIn say that LinkedIn helps them find the high quality candidates.
Share it with your network. Let your network know you're hiring.
You can even add a hashtag hiring frame to your profile. Get two times more qualified candidates.
You didn't know that trick. Post your job for free at linkedin.com slash candidates.
That's linkedin.com slash candidates to post your job for free. Terms and conditions do apply.
They say money can't buy you happiness, David, and that might be true, but money can sure make you feel a lot of other things like stress, guilty, overwhelmed. That's because when you're not in control of your money, your money can control you.
I said. That's right.
Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. Acorns is a financial wellness app that helps you take control of your money with simple tools that make it easy to start saving and investing in your future.
You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals.
You don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now, even if all you have is spare change.
That's the good thing. You don't need a ton of time.
You can create your own Acorns account, start investing in five minutes. You just don't need to feel like this feeling of like, what do I do with my money? Financial wellness is impossible.
No, you don't feel like that. Acorns does the hard part, so you can give your money a chance to grow.
Couldn't agree more. Okay.
Ready to take control of your money? Sign up now and join over 14 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion with Acorns. Head to acorns.com slash fly or download the Acorns app to get started.
Paid non-client endorsement. Compensation includes incentive to positively promote Acorns.
Tier one compensation provided. You know, investing involves risk.
Acorn Advisors, LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash fly.

Yes, that was pretty cool.

My dad would have said to me,

Davey, you drove four hours.

You gonna make it?

Are you okay?

Rough life in an escalator.

Are you okay?

He never would give it to me that something was hard.

Hey, lay down.

Mother. I thought it was Tom Segura said that to you.
That's my daddy. Here's something I've thought about getting you for your birthday.
Awesome. Coming up.
It's an omnidirectional ball bike. Okay.
It's balls that you ride. Hey, James.

What, you'll need it for?

No one knows.

Yeah, two yoga balls.

Keep it in the circus.

Brushless.

I can go this way, and I can go this way much like a hoverboard yeah it's not after extensive trial well now i'm saying i like supporting his we like it or you don't like i like during side you could use it out of the farm the creation has drawn praise with one commenter highlighting its simplicity this video hasn't gone praise for how long it is. I think he got it in 10 seconds.
He's got balls instead of wheels. He can go left, right, up, down.
He's like an ice skater. He's like his meep.
Now give me a million dollars. Yeah.
Boring. That's my review.

Boring.

Boring.

You can go to the chicken sideways.

Caw-caw.

Coyote.

Okay.

Owl.

Okay.

How about a bird? Season two is coming out. Believe it or not, this content is not going away.
Believe it or not, this is not written. We just make this up.
That's how good it is. Okay, so we got the squirrely bike.

What's next?

That was funny.

That was fun to watch. That was cool.

That was cool.

Okay, what did she say?

Hold on.

Got my braces off.

Oh, tell me if you can tell what's different.

She got her braces off.

Got her braces off.

Now she can do this.

He's escaping!

The killer is escaping!

Kill me! Watch her tooth. Watches her front tooth.
He's escaping the killer is escaping can you watch your tooth watches her front tooth well let's just can you see it i saw it so the they go the teeth were just sort of separating yeah they're to the to the talking it's it's a good trick but wasn't it just done in optical effects she can move her teeth she has a gap and she can close it and open it because of the braces i thought she was doing with her tongue with her uh teeth are loose now or something oh and it was an optical illusion i don't know that's a good you know it's trying to kill the phone other than that it frightens and confuses me. I hope unfrozen.

I can't do it. Unfrozen caveman law.

I was thinking at the 50th, you know, that's such a good sketch, but we can't do it, obviously. But I hope it's up there when they vote for sketches someday and say what's a good one.
That's a great one. I see it a lot, you know.
Maybe our next superfly, let's do our top 10 favorite sketches oh yeah okay that's a good idea let's do it right but we nothing that we could be in right because that would be fair chances out nine of mine but okay so but by angle make wait wait a second i was only barely girls ain't no i only had a That would be my, both of my top 10, but not with the thing we're doing. We are taking our conflict of interest.
Okay, we'll do it. Yeah, we'll do it.
Okay, one more. I mean, not one more.
Let's see what's next. All right, 50 more.
All right. Chinese residents have started covering their houses with blue fabrics.
Oh. I saw a blue roof today driving home on my four and a half hour drive this is because they think that a direct energy weapon will not burn blue yes go ahead heather's a question heather's a question i that's a good question i thought was paint, but paint's so thin.

What can you use, Dana, if it's going to stop?

Just the color blue?

Well, it's fabric, right?

Blue fabric?

Oh, maybe they think a satellite or a weapon would think it's water.

That's what they're saying in the comments.

A lake or an ocean so they don't burn that because that wouldn't help. These are just theories, right? It kind of feels good, but.
I mean, this blue stuff, I think it's based on Maui fires. And then there was anything with a blue roof or blue umbrella or blue

garbage can did not burn.

So there's some method to that madness of what,

what's going on.

Maybe it's fire resistant fabric.

There you go.

It just happened.

What did you say?

I'm not going to say that.

I'm going to say resistance.

You're not going to say retard dent.

You're not going to say that.

Oh,

that that's a,

that's a inappropriate word.

Retard dent is too close for my comfort. Okay, we won't say it.
Too close. Nice try.
Oh, you haven't seen it yet. All right, they're laying down blue fabric.
I don't know this part. Well, it's moving too quickly.
It's moving too quickly for me. I can't read Arabic.
Oh, see, they don't burn. That's the laser.
They don't burn. Yeah.
That was all we really needed to see. And we saw too fast.
Right. Google search in there.
Bullying. Credible.
There's just some confusion. Let me just break just break down this Arabic.
I don't know what that means at all. It's moving too quickly.
Just show another blue roof. Goddamn.
Well, how many blue roofs are there? All right, jump out. This guy, he gets too much time with us.
I don't know what the song was, and he's pointing his finger at us like scolding us. I was more into, like, how good is that guy's hair? I forgot about the roof for a minute.
Jeez, you do have hair jealousy, don't you? My grandma has blue hair. Maybe hers won't burn.
I don't know. We'll try.
We'll bring her on. Okay.
Everyone wants a turquoise turf on top of their house. Yeah.
All right. Some kind of voodoo match...
I guess Boise State is safe. Tar Heels would be a kind of an aqua blue.
North Carolina might get some singeing. That's about it.
Light blue. I don't know if it counts.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah.
What are you going to do today? Going to put that blue fabric on top of the roof again? Okay. All right.
I'll throw a blue sweater up there to see if it helps at all. Anything.
Okay. Very quickly.
I've known you 40 years. What's your favorite color? Blue.
Damn, that's not exciting. No.
You should know me long enough to know I'm not exciting. This is blue.
50 grand. Wait, what did you ask me? Whatever.
It doesn't matter how much it costs. All my stuff are these quarter zips.
Is that what they're called? No, this is dark. It's navy.
Oh, it's navy. Yeah.
It's actually got a pattern if you pay attention. Don't be jealous of my jean jacket that I got from the New York Magazine shoot for free.
You fucking stole it. Walk away.
I love when you steal shit from photo shoots. It's the greatest.
98. I'm like, what are you going to do with this? What are you going to do with it? It only fits me.
You just walk away, man. Like our friend John Corbett, he just goes when he finishes a TV show, he just goes in and swoops up like hundreds of everything.
All his, oh my God. And just walks out, doesn't say anything, doesn't talk to anyone.
And then he puts them in a local kind of storage place. Hundreds and hundreds of t-shirts, underwear, socks.
And you drive off and you're whatever Rolls Royce. And then they're like, ring, ring, ring.
And you're like, tra-la-la. And you're like, hello.
And it's like, Dana Lord. I'm disappointed.
What about what? I just did the shoot. Isn't that great? We're missing a jean jacket.
I heard about the jean jacket. You know, budget's a budget.
And it's that thing of like, you know, it's over budget. You were a shoplifter.
We've talked about that. I mean, you're a kleptomaniac.
Christopher Walken whispered to me that maybe you accidentally walked away with it. And then to make things worse, Christopher Walken walked away with a cowbell.
And it's that thing of like, you know, you do the sketch and then you're Mr. Cowbell the rest of your life and you couldn't resist eating.
And then Christopher Walken was walking with Macaulay Culkin. I don't know what that has to do with it, but it sounded fun.
Christopher Robin walked with Pooh Bear. Lorne, you're losing your mind.
I'm going over the hill. I got to jump off.
Wait, Pooh Bear, Tigger. Let me ask you a question.
What is more emotional or better for you? Charlie Brown and all Lucy and all Snoopy and all those people or Christopher Robin with Tigger and Pooh Bear and that gang? And Eeyore. I know a lot of Eeyores.
Eeyore was the original Debbie Downer, I have to say. But I will say, Chris for Robin, I claim to be smart.
I never understood. Were these stuffed animals that he was fake friends with until he went to school? Those are his friends? I don't know if they ever really mentioned his mental state.
Let's go to the phones. Because I heard that when he went to school, that's when it all ended because they weren't real anymore.
They were just stuffed animals. Oh, the final book.
He found friends at school, real people. I'm like, oh, that's brutal.
God, did you also watch Popeye as a kid and go is popeye real or is popeye an animated character and is olive oil hot or am i not seeing it olive oil anorexic or just she on ozempic yeah yeah and well she on the fuck is she fucking O osborne on ozempic or what's going on they're called glps now you know they are i think so it's a class of oh what i'm not on it my mom oh well what about okay let's get back to your question and your question. And then I have one for you.
They were stuffed animals. This just in.
It's all weird. I like Pooh Bear.
Pooh is a stud. I like it.
I like Al's the smart one. I thought, and Charlie Brown, I'll tell you one thing about that.
I did like Charlie Brown. For some reason, I did love it.
But when I hear that theme as an adult, it kind of gives me a little bit of melancholy creeps. There's something about- That song that Schroeder sings? Yeah, the theme to Charlie Brown.
It gives me a little melancholy. Is that it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a very cool piece of jazz. Well, I liked Pigpen.
I thought he was funny. Yeah, that's true.
And I have a question. This is a legit question.
Did Peppermint Patty like Pussy? Who? What's that? Did Peppermint Patty? Yeah, did she like Pussy? Where was Peppermint Patty from? A cartoon? Charlie Brown.

Oh, Charlie Brown.

Oh, I see what you're saying.

Kind of stringy hair, but very, very cute, but kind of a tomboy.

Well, sexualizing that cartoon, I have a little metric counter.

We just lost 1,900 listeners.

Oh, no, we did not, did we?

No, we didn't.

That's fine.

No, I'm just saying Peppermint Patty was cute, and I think my mom said, don't waste your time. There she is.
She's super cute. And who was who? Give me.
You don't even know Charlie Brown, so you can't vote. I know Linus.
Okay. Snoopy.
Snoopy was a spinoff. And a spinoff of Snoopy was Woodstock.
And did Snoopy fly in World War I biplanes? I think he was imagining that. The Red Baron.
He was a pilot. He was? Wait, Heather's got some breaking news.
Pepperdine generally displays characteristics of a tomboy, but she is attracted to Charlie Brown based on her reaction. Oh, right.
She looks like a tomboy type, but she's attracted to Charlie Brown. They aren't going to get into all that back then, of course.
She's fluid, yeah. Lucy seems more lesbian-ish to me.
Even though, because, no, I kind of had a crush on all of them. I was so horny.
I couldn't, anybody, anybody.

Well, then you must have been really hot for Flintstones.

Lucy is hotter.

The wife, the wife on Flintstones.

Oh, are you joking?

No, I would take the daughter, but I would take Jane too.

What was the, what was.

You would take Bam Bam.

What was the dog's name on the Brady Bunch? The dog's name on the Brady Bunch?

The dog's name on the Brady Bunch was Bunchy.

Jan.

Anyway, we're going to...

Bunchy was a good...

Tiger!

It's Tiger, but everyone says Jan.

That's a trick joke.

Okay, I got a question for you, Dana.

Can I ask you a question?

Yes.

That's you.

Yeah, I know.

Okay. What did you.
Yeah, I know. Okay.

What did you enjoy more enjoyment from?

Brady Bunch or Partridge Family?

Go.

Partridge Family.

Wow.

No matter what you say.

Wow.

Wow.

Even with what?

The Brady's go to Hawaii.

Oh, even when the Brady's went to Hawaii and they got the voodoo doll or whatever.

That's what it was.

I was not, it was not must-see TV for me.

I liked Mission Impossible.

We're talking about the 70s.

I liked Wild Wild West.

Oh, I like the way the frames squared when they went to commercial. I liked that.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Well, I think I love the Brady Bunch and I liked God, Partridge Family, I loved.
I liked the songs. Yeah, Bonaduce was brilliant.
David Cassidy, yeah, I liked the songs. The bus.
He was hot. Yeah.
What was the matriarch? What was her, that actress's name? Ruben, Shirley Jones. Shirley Jones.
I sat next to her on a plane once and we never acknowledged each other. Dumb story.
Elbow to elbow. Isn't that a cool story? We should re-edit this.
So that's our- No, I like that's our teaser. That's our teaser.
I just wanted to say, hi, I'm on TV sometimes too. But yeah, she was buried.
You're allowed to just say celebrity. You're allowed to just go, hey.
It's called courtesy, celebrity courtesy or something. You can say hi to anyone.
But you can't take their whole day. You just got to say- Yeah.
You go like this. I like your stuff.
Here's me at the SNL 50th. I like your stuff.
I like your stuff. Good stuff.
I like your work. And then I wait for it back and it's crickets.
Is there going to be anywhere, anyone at the 50th that you have not met? That's the question. Oh, wow.
You know, some of the hosts, I'm sure.

You know Bradley Cooper?

You know- Not really.

She was at the 40th,

and I said, what's up, Coop?

You did a sketch with them.

I did what?

You did a sketch with them at the 40th.

Oh, I did a sketch with them at the 40th.

That's where I met Taylor Swift

was at the 40th.

I don't know.

She'll probably be there.

I don't think I'll try to hog her time. I do.
I hope Miley sings. I love Miley.
And I don't know who's going to sing or do what. I'm just kind of looking forward to seeing surprising people like, Oh, you're here.
Oh, you're, Oh, there's that person. Well, we'll see.
We're going to see what sure will um okay what's the next story we're burning time we're killing it i know that's amazing it means like we've been on like five seconds take a look at this video that's a good byline there's a guide looking at a look at this video oh at first glance it looks like a group of friends playing football about this? If you look closely, no one really seems to want to win the game. Oh, it's the NBA.
With 32 seconds left on the clock, this team scores the winning goal, but no one celebrates. What is going on here? What's going on here? The same pattern happens in other sports like basketball, ping pong, cricket, hockey, and pretty much every sport you can imagine.
These are betting farms run by one of the biggest casinos in the world one x bet and these people are actually working you can even see the same players playing my higher is on different teams there are also many unconventional sports like sub soccer and sub soccer the investigative outlet bellingcat traced these videos all over russia and belarus bella people are being recruited that's sketchy nobody take a Take a look at this player with a tattoo on his arm. He's playing for hours.
Oh, they're playing under soccer, whatever it's called. And you can bet on any of these goofy games.
So basically they have these fake sports and then you just bet on them online. Fake sports with not athletic people.
That's a good biz. They get the stupidest sports they make up.
Take a look at this video. Nope, not again.
Not anymore. I guess it's legit, right? I mean, and then you're just betting two losers can kick a ball around better than you.
Well, I mean, I don't know. I mean, oh, the Super Bowl will be on after this, right? So I'm going to say, is the Super Bowl fixed? It's's a great question, Dana.
I, I can't say it is, but I know they have a little caveat. They have an out by saying the NFL is an entertainment program.
So it's not just a sporting, it's not just sports. So there's something where they can get away with tweaking it and they can't get in trouble.
Did you know this?

Well, our friend Gronk, who was on our podcast, just thinks that the refs are dazzled by the Kansas City Chiefs, Taylor, and the whole thing. And just push comes to shove in these micro calls, like was the ball there, there.
And they do the replay 50 times in a row. and you know a i could tell us better but it seems like kansas city does get some good calls they're all they can do spots with lasers they could make it so much easier than just just picture two dupas is no offense on the side with chains going i think it's about here and then you're like the whole game decides on that they walk up 10 yards and they're like yeah this feels i was eyeballing it they eyeball they could do it so perfectly and exactly well they could make it yeah because they could put a chip in the football or something because it's like you know over and over again it did it touch the the white line or not back and forth back and forth super bowl, no one will ever hear of you.
Super Bowl. So, yeah, it's a frustrating sport to watch, I'll say, because when your team does a good play, whatever your team is, and then you wait, up, flag, fuck it.
Usually it's holding on the offensive. With the Chiefs, yeah.
And when you say every play, there's technically holding. Those linemen grab each other.
You could probably call one whenever you felt like it. Yes, and why now? And pass interference sometimes.
Why now? They're dancing in the end zone. They're just – the guy is draped and grabbing before the ball gets there.
And they don't call it. And the next play they do.
So it's a frustrating game. When the guy's nowhere near.
Yeah, I agree. I think Super Bowl – I call bullshit.
I think it's too perfect that, I mean, the NFL does do better if Taylor's there. Obviously, he does do better if the Chiefs.
But I don't think he would propose. That would be too, like, there's nowhere to go in life after that.
Well, they're going for a three. It's too high of a point, and then everything's downhill.
Save that. Yeah, it's a superstar team.
They're going for the three-peat, which is unparalleled in

professional sports. It's an amazing

achievement. It is a

compelling game because

the Eagles have the best running back

maybe of all time

right now, Barkley.

So it's an interesting thing, but

if you're watching

the Chiefs play, they seem

to find a way. It's amazing how many

games they won by like a

Thank you. So it's an interesting thing.
But if you're watching the Chiefs play, they seem to find a way. It's amazing how many games they won by like a field goal last second.
Yes. Unbelievable.
So they find a way to win. They find a way to win.
I'm going to put a couple of bucks on it. Don't worry about it.
Oh, really? With Venmo? You're going to Venmo? I do the ones where you pick a fantasy team online, like on DraftKings, and then you only pick six players and you have a budget. So it's very tricky.
But guess what? I do pretty good. You only live once, twice max.
So definitely just keep, you know. Oh, we should have gotten this story about this kid that says he's reincarnated and he went back to his house like in Finland and told everything where everything was.

And he was like four.

He's like, that's where you go in.

It's kind of cool.

Save it for next week.

That's a little teaser.

Okay, next one.

Bye. talk.
If you're looking for expert guidance on finding your dream home, a place to start your next chapter, or getting in the door in your first home, chances are your family is trying to weigh in. Like your aunt, who knows the perfect place for you and likes to say, if I'm being honest, I'll bid too often.
Or your savvy family member who swears by an ad. But it's not enough to just know you.
You need someone who gets you. Someone who can make homeownership possible on your budget.
Who can look at what seems insurmountable and confidently say, this is the way. Only a realtor can guide you every step of the way with equal parts resilience and hope because no one cares more about helping Californians live the California dream than realtors.
So I'll do respect to your aunt, but get the expertise from the best at championsofhome.com. California Association of Realtors.
Who's your realtor? Give your kids a summer full of fun and learning. Give them ID Tech.
ID Tech camps are all about high energy fun, meeting new friends, and are taught by elite instructors. Located at 75 prestigious college campuses all across the country, ID Tech features over 50 epic courses like BattleBots, AI and machine learning, coding, game design, and more.
There's something for every kid ages 7 to 17 at ID Tech. Sign up at IDTech.com and use code IDTech to save $150 on a week of a lifetime.
You know the feeling of getting a new pair of shoes and then suddenly your feet are in a battle during the break-in period? Especially with flip-flops that can be boring and cheap and even wear out after one season. Well, great news! Harimari makes comfortable, colorful, premium flip-flops that are made to go the distance.
After a long day on your feet, whether it's post-golf, chasing the kids around, going out with friends, or just getting in a workout,

slipping into a pair of Hari Maris is pure relief.

Shop Harimari.com today, where every day is a destination.

That's H-A-R-I-M-A-R-I.com.

Okay, here we go.

No idea.

What is this guy?

Oh, it's a ball.

You try to roll a ball?

In a skate park so this okay heather do you watch that so what's the what's the point he's throwing a ball in a skate park in a bowl a cement bowl and it loops around and here's a guy in the crotch who's sitting there waiting

for it. Picks up steam

and he's in the exact same way. Is it a bowling

ball?

Dude, Dana, I don't know if I've told you this about my

nuts, but I don't

tell everyone. They do not take

well to a bowling ball ramming into them

at 30 miles an hour. Well, we heard about

the dog. Oh, the dog

smashed into the pit. On the movie Bus Boys coming to a theater.
Coming to something someday. Someday.
It's a $3,800 budget. Another beating.
And it's a whole family. We got another beating coming up this week.
Someone's flight is late. They're not going to make it on time for their shoot tomorrow.
Good Lord. Being a powerful

movie producer is tough.

You're a taskmaster.

Oh my God.

It's not even like

a real movie.

The catering is literally

five Triscuits

in a Slim Jim.

It's just everybody fights.

Geez, that could be

a Snoop Dogg song.

Five Triscuits in a Slim Jim.

I said five Triscuits

in a Slim Jim.

Snoop Dogg. Drop it like it's hollow.
Half empty Capri Sun. Is that how you say it? Capri Sun? Heather's zoning out.
Is it Capri Sun or Capri Sun? Capri? Well, don't act like I'm so stupid. I'm not four.
Why would I ever drink one? I've seen him. I've never gotten near one.
Dana doesn't know anything. Look at him.
He's like, huh? I don't know nothing about no Capri. That's above my pay grade.
A drink in a bag? I'll be darned. I'll take a paper cup any old day of the week.
Is that your plan? You're going to drink out of bed? What do you think you are? Why don't you just get Tang and go on to space? By the way, the people at the space station have lost bodily functions. They went up there so freaking long.
Oh my God. Please save them, Dana.
She said, well, Trump called up Elon. Elon, how are you doing? Great.
You got to go get them. You got to go get them, Elon.
So he's trying to get SpaceX to hurry up, rescue these people who went up there for a weekend and are there like eight months later. Now I have a conspiracy theory.
That they're not there? No, don't guess ahead. Okay, I'm waiting.
Okay, ready? I've got patience. Over Christmas, to try to keep the fun, they wore little stocking Christmas hats and stuff, right? Yeah.
And everyone's like, oh, they're trying to cheer everybody up. They're trying to cheer us up.
Why would they have those there? They're going for a weekend. This isn't Gilligan's Island.
Why would they carry Christmas stuff that's four months away from when they went up? Well, I have a supply list here of all the things that are on this basis. On this basis.
It might be. They might have a store.
10,000 cherry chapstick. Christmas hats.
Cherry chapstick. 10,000 cherry chapsticks.
Looks. Tastes like cherry chapstick.
Okay. This would, I didn't really understand.
3,000 signed eight by tens of comedian David Spade. Now what the fuck? To hand out to the Martians? It's on the space station.
I know. Hey, will you try to pull up to see if they ever wore hats or might be full of shit again? Oh, yeah.
They have Halloween costumes. Christmas hats.
Where they go as Neil Armstrong. They do have Christmas hats.
Okay. They have Easter eggs.
Yeah, they have everything up there. Candy store.
They must have like a holiday. They do have a little Seize Candies outlet.
Yeah, maybe. They have a lady footlocker by the way how does seize candies make it have you ever seen a seize candies commercial no never really word of mouth at this point i know but i go in there big piece of cake last night did he today he always gets a dessert he always regrets it oh here it is look at this I saw this.
Okay. All right.
Good. Oh, there they are.
They're up there. Yeah.
Whoa. Her hair's a little crazy.
Can we scroll down? Mm-hmm. Yeah, Bride of Frankenstein.
Is that a wig? What is she doing? By the way, they had a party. They had guests over.
That's a little suspicious. They had friends over.
It looks to me, and I don i don't know enough about gravity i don't know anything but it looks like they've shrunken down to gnome size the guy in the middle looks like he's two feet tall so this is it must be the gravity just shrunk is that a snowman in the middle they have snow i don't know he did my Gilligan's Island joke. Oh means I'm corny if that guy can think of it okay they look tiny I don't know not a good thing no we're you know we're not here to start trouble not a good luck but we wish him all the best we really do and we wish him a safe journey no no we wish him everything I do wish him a safe that's horrifying i didn't like being in that car for four and a half hours today so like unscheduled if you're ready for it you're ready for it okay pop quiz you take off three two one you take off how much time goes by before you're docking with the space station oh i know this one okay no i don't okay i'm gonna guess so if i get in the astronaut thing yeah you're you're on the rocket the launch pad

three two one you take 96 hours 43 minutes really i made that up oh my god i felt mine

sounded stupid.

Yours is worse.

It's not that far.

It's not that far.

You know,

remember Shatner went up in Bezos's rocket?

Oh yeah.

It's a thin blue line.

And suddenly.

Would you want to do that?

You can't go past the sub barrier or something in space.

There's like.

I wouldn't do Bezos.

That's a,

that's a baby rocket.

You go up,

you come down.

I would want to go around the earth,

which some people did on space.

Space.

Earth.

Thank you. do Bezos.
That's a baby rocket. You go up, you come down.
I would want to go around the Earth,

which some people did on SpaceX.

Earth. Go around it.
I would go around the Earth.

Okay. I would like to go to the

moon and stay at Howard Johnson's.

Anyway, you ready for this?

You ready for this? Here we are. Who's better than

David Spade?

He's got all the movies. Now he's got

Busboys with Tao Voon, And they're going to be tremendous. That's good.
Any Regis I'll take. I'll take.
All right. Another one before then.
I got a million things going. Do you though? I'm going to do a spot at the store tonight.
Okay. Oh, this was, this is Dana centurycentric.
They're high turf. Okay.

I'll let you comment.

I'll just read the beginning.

It took 30 years to fix this Wayne's World joke.

Okay.

Now, let's roll.

Let's see what happens.

See if Dana knows.

In nearly 30 years, one of Wayne's World's best jokes was completely fucked.

If you saw Wayne's World on TV or on video between 1993 and 2022,

the Guitar Store Stairway to Heaven joke played like this.

No stairway, denied. Yeah, those aren't the notes to Stairway to Heaven, which ruins the joke.

The thing is, Mike Myers is no dummy, and the song was correct in the theatrical release. Hey.
Deny. He waited too long.
No stairway. Deny.
That makes sense. Great joke.
But when it came time to release the movie on VHS, Led Zeppelin and Warner Music Group wanted to charge Paramount $100,000. Sounds low, actually.
Two seconds of the song. So the studio opted to change the notes instead.
And then it stayed that way for 29 damn years until they released Wayne's World on 4K Blu-ray and put it onto Max, at which point the original version was restored. And now all is right in the universe once again this guy's a keeper for all the ladies that are single out there if you want this guy's got a lot of free time man i think it was a it was an issue with with uh having to pay for it or not so i guess mike did two takes it looked like mike was can't play the guitar.
He's just goofing around the first one. The second one, they looped in the real notes.
But I get what the guy's saying. Hey, that no stairway, but he didn't have the beginning notes.
Right. I think you can do that much of stairway and not have to pay.
That seemed pretty quick. Yes.
This was right before i did my drum solo i was i wasn't paying much attention i was just practicing on my drum did you do it in that store i did was it the guitar center on sunset i don't know maybe did you shoot in la oh yeah all la but i mean maybe people know the story but uh i practice on a yamaha jazz set where the drums are small and down low and all stacked right side by side please stay with me david and then i walked on the set and i had this gigantic yamaha set where it's just spread out oh like a bigger drive so it's drum. I practiced everything right in here.

I had a drum solo. Perfect.

And then I got there and I had to

reach and I never really liked the drum

solo. It was like too good

because they were so... Well, you have to

reach. You're reaching so far and I was

practicing tight. Yeah.
Like Buddy Rich.

I get it. That story's interesting.
What did

Bonnie and Terry say? Bonnie was the one

who said at the end, just hit the little thing and go uh thanks i like to play would only worked if the solo was really good i didn't think it was that good but there's somebody some heavy metal bands sometimes the drum the drummer will do the garth oh good i had a lot had a lot of drumming things. I did play.
I got to play with you too for the MAs. I was underneath the stage.
Via satellite. Even better than the real thing.
Good night, everybody. I'm going to mic drop.
I'm going to make me. I will say, when I was in Joe Dirt, we're looking for a movie.
We're looking for songs. We couldn't get Ted Nug cat scratch fever was 150 000 for what nine seconds and acdc was 500 000 i heard zeppelin back then was almost a million sandler gets them for some stuff acdc and zep uh which are the most expensive and so we tried to make deals with other bands steve miller was too much we had a bunch of steve miller in the first draft it's just hard to get songs you know all these dirtball songs but we wound up with some cool nuggets like argent hold your head up and you know we had some killers in there we're creative i don't know what we paid for to do bohemian rhapsody but we're in the wrong business i mean if you own music and this is why these companies these big big corporates are giving springsteen like 500 million to they feel that they can monetize their catalogs over time yeah it's you know sinatra is still like a fortune yeah i mean here's an example is nothing like that.
But I just saw in a story that in New York, to make money, David Dinkins, the old mayor, sold all the parking meters to Saudi Arabia for a billion. Now, that is so much money.
And so they get they get all the money now that was the story in the

news and he said it actually is a ripoff because now this many years later 25 years later whatever they probably make 10 billion a year from it so that's what you're saying on music yeah you risk it you go yeah our park meter is going to go away is music going to go away. They still make a ton off it.
And predominantly it's this music from our generation is what they're paying for. Yeah.
Because today's music is not as maybe commercial or catchy. Ooh.
You know, there's a lot of hooks. You go play Fleetwood Mac for a young person.

They're going to go, holy shit, you know?

Hopefully.

I think Taylor Swift is too smart to sell her catalog,

but she obviously could for more than a billion.

That's in a pinch, but she doesn't have a pinch yet.

She's not in a pinch.

I think that Mrs. Kelsey is what I call her.

Mrs. Kelsey will do fine.
Have you heard her podcast yet? She has a podcast now? No, I'm saying that Taylor Swift. No, not Travis.
Wait, not their mom. No.
Jason's wife has one. Yeah, right.

Jason's wife has a podcast.

That's more unexpected than their mom.

Their mom, I would think, would be doing something on the Food Network or doing a cooking show or something, you know.

You and Theo in your movie should have a thing where you go into a time machine

accidentally like Bill and Ted for a minute,

and everyone you talk to on planet Earth has a podcast.

What do we go, two years into the future but and then you take like a time traveling and you go to you go to malaysia you go all over the world you can't find anybody who does not have a podcast snl had kind of a funny uh sketch about did they they said you go to the doctor and it's called medcast guys won't tell doctors about their feelings so they do a podcast with the doctor and they tell everything about their life that's the only way they will they're on a dumb podcast with other guys okay and that's the doctor like laughs because yeah now and what are you drinking you're drinking a lot's like, oh no. He goes, you get a couple beers.
He goes, oh yeah, on the weekends I go big. Doctor's like, okay.
But it's set that the framework is podcast. Actually, that week I saw the show, they had two podcast bits, which if we were there in the old days, one would have probably gotten pushed for another week because you would write obscure thing.
A podcast sketch is sort obscure and then the week you write it there's another one bump bump but they did them both well uh good for mark maron and joe rogan to get in in 2007 we got maron coming up on a fly on the wall soon who's on fly this week, Dana? Who got this week? It's still kneeling, but by this time, I don't know who it'll be. Do you want to type it in here? Right now currently is Lisa Kudrow.
Are you sure? Yeah, I am. Okay.
Lisa Kudrow is on right now. Check her out.
We have super fly, which is on video, and it's us, and sometimes we have guests. And then we also have – nobody understands.
We have Fly on the Wall, which is essentially audio only. Thank you.
Thank you. All right, so let's go one more story, and then we'll close up.
One more story, and then we'll wind it. And we'll say good luck with the Super Bowl, everyone.
Okay, what is this? Hang on, hang on. Oh, this guy.
Dana, I don't know how you feel about pain. I mean, this is talk about get famous.
I don't know. You ever been hitting the shin with something? Yes.
Scooter. Okay.
This guy makes a rope with all scooters. I rank it a 3 out of 10 on the paint scale.
Coming in at number 4 is bed frames. I rank this a 5 out of 10.
This sucked. Right in the shin.
We have the double razor scooter ceiling fan. This was terrible.
It cut me open and I rate this at 8 out of 10. Yeah, don't do it.
At number 2, we have the trailer hitch ceiling fan. What's happening? 9 out of 10 on the point scale.
Why is this guy in busboys? Yeah, I guess. At number 1, we have...
You guys did have it in the movie. I rate this at 100 out of 10.
These are the 5... He rated that 100 out of 10.
That was the worst pain. What was the last one? I don't...
That was funny, but... A guy with a rope with all these heavy objects

attached to it spins it and has it

smash into his shins.

And he makes a million dollars

a year. And he raised how much pain it is.

When you watch UFC,

they do those kind of kicks.

I'm sure he's swollen up

and stuff. What people

will do for views.

Another time for another podcast.

I won't do that.

You won't physically torture yourself?

As Meatloaf would say.

I'll do anything for views, but I won't do that.

Do you know that song?

No, I know his brother who's from Italy, Matzo Ball, had a similar song. You know his cousin, Bunt Cake? No, Matzo Ball would be Israel, a Jewish guy.
Now, so that thing with the, yeah. It's going to be hard to put good songs in busways.
We already, oh, we need something from, I can't say it but we'll find it we're gonna find them you i could maybe angle chopping broccoli if you want that it's cranked it's cranked in the car in my old el camino um okay i will i might hold you to that because we we need to get some songs we do okay well thank you dane it was nice meeting you. We had a great time.
There's a Super Bowl weekend, so everyone have a nice time. We'll go over and see if I want any money.
Yeah, we're going to place bets. I'm going to place a bet.
You're going to place a bet. We're going to see who wins the most money.
It's going to be an interesting little competition. I say 33-27 Kansas City.
Is that even a number? Could it be 33? Yeah, it could be. I think so.
I'll say 42-35 Philly. Whoa.
They scored 55 points last year. I I know one of us is gonna win uh okay uh thank you Dana thank you David thanks audience this has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly it's executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Jenna Weiss Berman oferman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.

Hope you liked it.