Kevin Nealon pt 2

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Speaker 2 Quince.com slash fly. I have a bit of a cold, so I might sound a little different.
I don't want to frighten the children, keep them away from the screen.

Speaker 1 But you were still funny. We just did Kevin Nealon, and

Speaker 1 Kevin's an old buddy and

Speaker 1 just one of the group. And what a crack up.
Always throwing away lines.

Speaker 1 Anytime you talk to him, whether it's on this or in real life, just always funny.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's always, I mean, i met him in san francisco he started coming up and doing stand-up where i'm from we're all friends and then the first keg he would do it's like he's leaving my kind of apartment or he's in the driveway in his car and he's talking to you like just yeah so anyway whatever in the meantime he is raising up the uh the uh rolling up his window rolling up the window and he keeps talking and that would be a lot of stuff You call it dry, clever, acid humor.

Speaker 2 But yeah, he's always dropping these throwaway lines. They're really funny.
He never pushes. And one of the funniest people you'll ever meet.

Speaker 1 We were on lights out one time when I had all the weekend update guys on, Dana, and

Speaker 1 I do a monologue. And at the end of the monologue, Kevin goes, hey, because

Speaker 1 I would let the guests interrupt my monologue. He goes, hey, what are you going to wear for the show tonight?

Speaker 1 I go, I think I'll just wear this. He goes, oh, okay.

Speaker 1 And then there was a bunch of, there was a plant on the table in a little bowl with a bunch of leaves. And I asked him a question

Speaker 1 during the interview when I sat out. And he goes, hey, are you going to finish this salad?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he leaned over to get it. But all that stupid shit sounds like nothing.
And it is. But always cracks me up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we go over some SNL stuff and what's going on with him.

Speaker 2 It was a fun, easy podcast to do.

Speaker 1 Road gigs, everything. So I talk about his hiking with Kevin on YouTube.

Speaker 1 And he's in the new Happy Gilmore. He'll tell you all about it.

Speaker 4 Here he is, Kevin Nealon.

Speaker 3 I remember when my son was born, we had like a thousand video pictures. And then as you get older, it was less and less.
Just back to me again.

Speaker 1 Back to me.

Speaker 1 The kid, you're like, I got a feel for you already. We don't need you too much.
But look at me, though.

Speaker 3 I'm back, everybody.

Speaker 1 Back to me. By the way, Dana, Dana, I was going to tell you, I went to Kevin's house for, I think, his birthday, maybe.
Is this the house you're in right now, Kevin?

Speaker 3 Yeah, it is.

Speaker 1 It is. This place is a decent layout, Dana.
Let me tell you, this guy knows what's up.

Speaker 3 It's a good crib, man. It's dope.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's dope, baby.

Speaker 3 It's sick, man. You've been over here, Spade.
It's sick.

Speaker 1 It's sick, man.

Speaker 3 It's fire, too. It's fire.

Speaker 1 It's fire. It's sick.
It's dope. It's popping.

Speaker 1 Some of those stairs. Oh, I remember I'd hurt my knee.
And I was like, Gervitz, can you carry me down the stairs? You know what you need on your stairs?

Speaker 1 And this is just if I come over, the little electric chair that goes up the stairs.

Speaker 3 We have an elevator.

Speaker 1 Oh, didn't know that. Yeah.

Speaker 3 We don't let guests use it, though.

Speaker 1 What's it for? The help? It's all from it.

Speaker 3 It's just for, yeah, the staff. It's staff.

Speaker 1 Staff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. Danny, you got a staff out there?

Speaker 4 I just think if you have an elevator in your house, it's a sign of good fortune. And both you guys have it.
Do you got anyone have an escalator?

Speaker 1 I mean, what are the, yeah, why do you have an escalator, Kevin?

Speaker 3 We have a people mover. Uh, it takes us from the driveway into the house, but this is also serves as a department store.
So, you know, we need the elevator.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 it also serves as a

Speaker 1 flagship store for.

Speaker 3 I can't remember the name of your show. Is it Off the Wall or

Speaker 1 Flying the Wall or Flying the Coke?

Speaker 1 We don't know. No one knows.

Speaker 4 Superfly is

Speaker 4 too.

Speaker 3 I thought it was flying the Coke for a long time.

Speaker 1 Flying the Coke. I thought it was flying my soup.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get started. I like this, Kevin.
Kevin, I like when he goes, all right. You know,

Speaker 3 you're like these like radio guys. You know, you do those interviews, press, and they start talking.
You don't even know if they're on yet. And you've been talking, give them some really good stuff.

Speaker 3 And then they go, okay, let's get started.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 yeah, they go, okay, we're going to patch you through now.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Patch me through.

Speaker 1 You got two minutes left.

Speaker 1 Then you hear Hong Kong. Here we go.
Hey, we got Kevin Illinois. So fucking crazy.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I mean, you know, it's.

Speaker 3 I remember one time,

Speaker 3 I remember one time.

Speaker 3 No, I remember one time I was in Tampa and they had one of these DJs or radio personalities

Speaker 1 personalities

Speaker 3 that are just morning zoo kind of guy, high energy.

Speaker 3 And I go in there and I had, I was going through an AFib episode at the time and my heart was irregular. And if it goes too long, you got to have it shocked back, you know?

Speaker 3 And I don't have that anymore, but at the time I did. And he goes, how do you get rid of it? I said, well, you got to be kind of shocked back, you know, at the the paddles.

Speaker 3 And he goes, Oh, that's crazy. And then, like a minute later, he's got an air gun under his desk.
He sounds off the air gun.

Speaker 3 I almost fell off my chair.

Speaker 1 And he goes, Did that work?

Speaker 3 Did that work? Did that work?

Speaker 1 Oh, he's trying to actually get you back to life and shock you. Yeah, how and a medical procedure that could have killed you.

Speaker 3 It could have killed me, but on the way back to the hotel, it actually did go back the regular sinus, as they say.

Speaker 1 What does that mean?

Speaker 3 Sinus? It means regular rhythm.

Speaker 1 Oh, Dana knows these terms. I don't know.

Speaker 4 I'm not steeped in that, but

Speaker 4 I know people go through it.

Speaker 1 Dana,

Speaker 1 I know the word Sue Crew messes you up. Are you steeped in it? Steeped in it.
Are you

Speaker 4 steeped in it? You know, comprehensive knowledge.

Speaker 3 Isn't that what T does? It steeps.

Speaker 4 Hello, anyway. I guess so.

Speaker 1 Let's go to the phones.

Speaker 3 Let's go to the phones. Let's go to the elevator.

Speaker 1 Now, Kevin, when you go on gigs, Kevin, you travel a lot. I travel a lot.
Dana travels minimal. But let's say you're on these gigs.

Speaker 1 Do you sometimes I do press ahead of time or I call to fluff up a gig, you know, to say, hey, you know, I'm playing at this, you know, Indian casino or whatever.

Speaker 1 But do you ever get up anymore like the old days and go in? That's sometimes that's hard.

Speaker 3 Once in a while, it kind kind of went away for a while you know after the pandemic because you you know and now they're slowly bringing it back in hey you know we got 10 seats left you think you could top it off by getting up at four in the morning uh i know you're on la time zone and stuff but you know really would help get rid of those 10 seats

Speaker 1 it would only be one in the morning for you and you're like right well that's

Speaker 3 either late or early either one i don't like it you would not have even gone to bed yet if you're in la

Speaker 1 yeah sometimes i go in and they go now we've got it dialed in where you call ahead and then you can do a phone or yeah. And sometimes it's

Speaker 1 they go, this is tape. This is for Friday.
So act like it's yesterday was Thursday.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And when I say Friday, I mean Friday two weeks from now.

Speaker 1 Act like the election's over and you already know who won.

Speaker 3 But yeah, I don't, I don't particularly like going in anymore. I'm more of the mindset.
Look, I don't care how many people are in that.

Speaker 3 I don't want to get up.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. That's too, that's a big ask.
I mean, listen, my fans, they know where I am. Come, come and find me.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Can you believe it's been, um,

Speaker 3 well, for me, I got an SNL about 38 years ago, and it's been like 30 years, 29 since I left. I mean, we could be the grandparents of some of those cast members that are on now.

Speaker 1 And we might be. Oh, definitely.

Speaker 4 I was just there for 10 weeks.

Speaker 4 I was working with people in their mid-20s.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And a couple of them, we did the math. We checked out certain biographies.
And I said, I could be your grandfather. We never got confirmation, but it was in the realm of possibility.

Speaker 3 Did you, did they build a ramp for you to get a new church lady?

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. Church late dress was.

Speaker 4 a little tight

Speaker 4 certain places, but I still got it on and zipped it up.

Speaker 1 It's been so long. Church lady's probably a virgin again

Speaker 1 after all that.

Speaker 3 But you know, it's, it's, I don't know about you guys, but that's been such a centerstone for me, that show.

Speaker 3 And you constantly think about, you know, Lauren Michaels, what he would do, what he would say to you, you know, if,

Speaker 3 you know, you feel like, oh, this is hacky stuff I'm doing. I hope it doesn't get back to anybody.
And it was so long ago.

Speaker 3 It's like, you know, when we were, when we were starting to do comedy, it's like your show shows what had been a shorter distance of time between when we first started and where we're doing now.

Speaker 3 And I'm speaking for you, Spay. For me, it wasn't.

Speaker 1 No, I'm it's closer. Did you know that it's closer now

Speaker 1 from SNL till right now till SNL backwards to when they invented the telephone?

Speaker 1 I was trying to put something together in my head.

Speaker 1 Adam and Eve is closer to when we got hired.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 Were Adam and Eve white?

Speaker 3 Question.

Speaker 1 it got tense

Speaker 1 got really tense depends who's reading what from what source they could be any color you want it depends on where that garden is it was in beverly hills yeah was it a was it a red apple or green apple yeah

Speaker 1 a lot of controversy

Speaker 4 I think it's a story. It doesn't sound like paradise if there's a reptile on a tree haunting you.

Speaker 1 If there's snakes everywhere when you're having lunch.

Speaker 3 And what if you're what if what if you're allergic to that fig leaf

Speaker 1 oh yeah how do you explain that

Speaker 4 yeah the thing they don't explain is that the sex between adam and eve got really hot once they knew they were naked and they were kind of embarrassed and sort of sort of illicit you know changed the whole dynamic illicit you think well do you think that do you think that um they really had that um

Speaker 3 i forget the word but you know concern that maybe their genitals might be showing And the only person that's going to see it is the other person you want to have sex with.

Speaker 3 There's no one else around except for the snake.

Speaker 4 No one had had sex at that point, right?

Speaker 4 They were created. So, yeah, I don't know.
This is really.

Speaker 1 The snake was like, this is no competition for me.

Speaker 4 I'm not steeped in this, guys.

Speaker 1 No, don't keep doing steep now.

Speaker 4 I like the word. You called it out.

Speaker 4 I just got one guys a question because I have a really wicked cold, but I have a gig tomorrow and I'm going to fly and I can't clear my ears.

Speaker 4 And one time I did this, and I have cartilage damage in one of the ears, it's very painful.

Speaker 3 Dana, let me just turn your turn your head. Let me look in your ear, see if it's clear.

Speaker 1 Let me see.

Speaker 1 You know, do you do the thing where you blow your nose and hold your nose? I don't do that. I'm scared of that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I.

Speaker 4 Well, have you guys ever canceled a gig because you didn't feel well, or do you just always it up?

Speaker 3 You know,

Speaker 3 well, I tell you, I was just in Kansas City and I got a stomach bug on the last day of my last gig there. I was in bed all day.

Speaker 3 I was over the toilet, on the toilet, and I just forced myself to go, you know, to do the gig.

Speaker 1 It was horrible.

Speaker 3 I got so many nights. Good question.
I could go forever. One time I was with Bill Maher and Tommy Davidson.
We had a gig up in Buffalo, New York, an outdoor like theater.

Speaker 3 And I don't know if I was supposed to go middle, but I had a good boy in the back. And I couldn't get up.
I had to lay down on a cot. They brought a cot over.

Speaker 3 And I said, I don't know if I can could do this but i didn't want to fly all the way up there not do the gig so uh i i asked the stage man i said would you put the cot out on the stage for me and i'll just do my act from the cot i told the audience i said you know i'm really depressed i gotta lie down and i did it from the cot on my side and they were laughing like crazy and i got through it and i thought that works so well i'm gonna start bringing that cot with me to other gigs

Speaker 3 it worked like it didn't work at all i brought it twice and it's just

Speaker 4 even when you feel good yeah i sometimes feel like frasier in the 15th round, getting up off the stool if you're really, really sick. Well, there's

Speaker 1 two problems with Dana's situation.

Speaker 1 When do you cancel? Because it's scary to cancel. By the way, if I was not doing working tomorrow, I would cover for Dana.

Speaker 1 And the other thing is,

Speaker 1 if they wanted me, but the other thing is you don't want to make it worse. Like if I fly, I'm going to make it worse.
If I go.

Speaker 1 You know, you don't want to

Speaker 1 break your ears or you're like, I'm not supposed to to fly with sinus stuff because it might pop. Who cares if I get everyone sick? But no one cares on my flights if they get me sick.

Speaker 1 Everyone's coughing and sneezing. I'm like, does anyone give a fat fuck anymore about like just a

Speaker 4 wear a mask on the plane? Because this is an all-coach Southwest plane. Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 4 I'll be packed in with a lot of people. And I don't know if I'll be coughing, but look, if I have this voice, I'll be like, well, isn't that special?

Speaker 1 People get scared. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Here's what I noticed that

Speaker 3 when I have a cold

Speaker 3 and

Speaker 3 I don't want to do something with people. It's, you know, I'm not interested in it.
I'll tell them I have a cold, but I don't want to affect them.

Speaker 3 But if it's something I really want to do and I'm obvious like Dana's got a cold, I will say, I got an allergy. I got an allergy.

Speaker 1 Don't worry about me. I got by the time they figured out you're out of there.

Speaker 4 So you've never canceled. You've had some wicked nights, but you've never canceled a gig.

Speaker 3 I've only canceled because of like, you know, a TV gig or a movie.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, but for illness, you never cancel.

Speaker 3 Or I had a good massage lined up.

Speaker 1 That's bad. Yeah.

Speaker 3 No, I never, I don't think I've ever canceled for illness.

Speaker 1 You know, I did San Francisco last year, Danny, your hometown or your outskirts town. And I was getting sick.

Speaker 1 And my doctor said, this is a sickening word. It makes you sound old.
Polyps in your nose. Which polyps, let me explain to you what they are.
I don't know know what they are, but really.

Speaker 1 He said they're 100% blocking you and you're going to keep, you can't not be sick anymore because you've waited 10 years to get an operation. So I'm at a gig and I'm sick.

Speaker 1 And I didn't mind really being sick and just finishing the tour, but you couldn't really hear me. So I've never had that laryngitis, which is so weird.
But I don't want to cancel gig.

Speaker 1 And it's the day of the show and people are coming. So they bring in a doctor like Pink Floyd, you know, to jack you up.
You know, sometimes they can do that. They give you steroids.

Speaker 1 I don't know what it is, but you're right after you're like John Bonet. You're like, bada, bada, ba, ba.
Somehow, it clears you up. It didn't work.
And I still don't want to cancel.

Speaker 1 So I go out there and I'm like, hello. And everyone's like, oh, like right away.
They're like, oh, no. And I'm like,

Speaker 1 I didn't want to cancel. So I'll give you 4%.

Speaker 1 And they're like, Jesus Christ. So I literally was like, Everybody be really quiet.
It's hard to hear me. So nobody laugh until the end.
And just,

Speaker 1 I'll just say my jokes flatly and then at the end it'll count and they're like great well how did you know that um you had when you have polyps in your nose I never knew that I mean do you get a colonoscopy through your nose is that how they find out my nose is my my nasal cavities are connected to my butthole somehow like it's it goes all the way down and so they go up through the butt through your they go either way yeah oh nice nice you might want to go through your nose first

Speaker 1 and then i go yeah i go aren't polyps in my b b-hole? And they go, Well, they're just, I don't even know what they are. I picture like mushrooms growing there.
They go, it's blocking. And so I

Speaker 1 went and I did the gig, but I was glad I did it because it still went pretty good because it started to come back a little.

Speaker 1 And then, you know, I get that operation, which is terrifying and really harder than they said. But then I didn't get sick for a year and a half.
Nothing.

Speaker 3 Man, look at us talking about AFib.

Speaker 1 No, we can't talk about this. We cannot.
We cannot.

Speaker 4 I had gigs in the 80s because they would do eight shows a week, 90 90 minutes a set.

Speaker 2 And I would get like

Speaker 4 a lot of antibiotics, a lot of, you know, plus I

Speaker 4 bit on my tongue once and was bleeding profusely. Are you welcome to the stage? You know, I mean, you just, you do get funny things.

Speaker 1 You go, well,

Speaker 4 what about this? We do this a lot. I mean, Spade and I have talked about getting injured.
in hotel rooms

Speaker 4 like slamming getting up to go to the bathroom of the night and slamming your shit into a table, right? You've had those, Kev. I had a hematoma and I couldn't put weight on it.

Speaker 4 It was so painful.

Speaker 3 You know, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was in Spokane, Washington,

Speaker 3 doing a gig, and I heard that Chevy Chase was doing his Christmas vacation kind of a tour, you know, questioning all this stuff. He was staying at my hotel.

Speaker 3 And so I texted him, see if you want to go have a cup of coffee because we're at the same hotel. He goes, well, I can't.
I fell last night, hit my head on a knife stand.

Speaker 4 Well, I would that would happen to me when I was a lot younger, though, too, because it's just another hotel and it's very easy if the lights are down.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, I never thought that Chevy Chase would get hurt falling, you know.

Speaker 1 He was like a big fall.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, that's how he got hurt, actually.

Speaker 1 And you wrote back L O L O L O L O L O L.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 But, you know, I've never gotten hurt in a hotel room like that. I slammed my finger in the door.

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Speaker 1 I have a question for you, Kevin. This is not part of this.

Speaker 4 Yeah, just outside the project. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 A couple of questions. One is...

Speaker 3 I don't trust you.

Speaker 1 I want to hear a little bit about the Swatch tour because I was so jealous of it when I was on SNL. I don't know if I was on it yet, but I thought these guys are going on the road.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't think I was on SNL yet, but I knew about you guys got a tour because you were doing well on the show And like three hilarious guys, you, Tu, and Dennis.

Speaker 1 And then you played Arizona, I think, at the celebrity theater. I don't know why I remember all this.
I just remember it was Swatch. I think I remember what you were getting.

Speaker 1 I heard a rumor and I was like, oh my God.

Speaker 1 And what a fun thing. Even though I don't realize, I don't realize then the road is hard.
But three funny guys, Swatch tour. And that was in the summer, was it, Kevin? In between.

Speaker 4 So after our first season, it happened fast. Kevin and I only done one season, right?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I i mean actually that tour is still going on right now um but dana and dennis i'm canceling tomorrow it's just you it's just me now

Speaker 1 i've been going since then that's so funny i still call it the swatch tour that's the first time i think something was sponsored in my head like a comedy tour i thought that was a big deal

Speaker 1 so you guys got more money because you did you have to wear a swatch

Speaker 1 No, but we got swatches, I think.

Speaker 4 We got swatches.

Speaker 3 Yeah. That was really exciting.

Speaker 3 It was exciting because they played they played clips from snl before we came out and the music you know g smith band did the snl band and it was just really a high rev and people would go crazy and that was you know before anybody was kind of doing big

Speaker 1 yeah a theater was like not really what i had heard of maybe leno maybe yeah

Speaker 3 and uh what was the order do you remember do you guys just flip-flop yeah yeah um i would go on first and then i would never get off so it was just me basically

Speaker 1 and you do they wouldn't let me get off

Speaker 3 i would just get uh you know encores

Speaker 3 uh no yeah it was me i think

Speaker 3 dennis and dana maybe they switched it up a little bit i think i think we switched off a little bit um it was me because i was a featured player on snl at the time oh yeah

Speaker 4 never like following either of you i wouldn't follow any of you guys i don't want to follow dennis or kevin yeah you want a nice very nice clean opener not too funny Yeah, don't make them too good.

Speaker 1 You know, maybe, Kevin, when you get on, did you tag team it? You should have brought up Dana and then you should have done your Hans and Franz there.

Speaker 3 We, we might have. I don't even think we had come up with Hans and Franz.

Speaker 4 We came up with Hans and Franz basically on that tour. Yeah,

Speaker 4 we had not done it on SNL.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. We were in, I think, Des Moines, Iowa, and I was watching Arnold Schwarzenegger.
on some like up close and personal interview and they were asking him what he does when he gets into town.

Speaker 3 And I can't do it at Arnold, but he goes, you know, when I get into town, you know, I get into the nice light cog shirt and then I go into town and I come back to the hotel and I snip into the nice light cog sheets.

Speaker 3 And so Dana and I started doing that the whole trip. And then somehow it just evolved into Hans and Franz being these two pathetic, defensive,

Speaker 3 you know, losers who never looked their way in their life.

Speaker 4 They're still my favorite. I have to say, of what I laugh at the hardest for myself that I was in, because they clearly have a lot of mental health issues.

Speaker 4 They're extremely paranoid, probably schizophrenic. They're on this rinky-dink show, and they're threatening.

Speaker 4 No one is saying anything to them. They're threatening imaginary enemies that they will come to their house and do all these exotic torture things to them.

Speaker 1 And no one cares about them at all. And they just

Speaker 3 there's probably only like a dozen 15-year-olds watching it.

Speaker 3 They think it's like thousands of people.

Speaker 1 And then you look so fucking doofy with your hair. Did you have a separated teeth or anything?

Speaker 4 Yeah. Oh, yeah, we would paint them.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 But the night, Kevin and I were on the phone just hatching it out. And

Speaker 4 we were just riffing around with it somehow. And then Kevin said, and if you don't believe.
And if you don't think, you know, and that just made me laugh.

Speaker 4 So then we did that for an hour and we knew that was really cold. Just that they're paranoid.

Speaker 4 And if you don't think properly pumped up, think again because you're going to lose a, you know what I mean? So that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. And I remember when Arnold came on to be in one of the Hans and Franz sketches, we were a little nervous because we were making fun of him.

Speaker 3 And we went to his dress room and he, uh, his name was on the door.

Speaker 3 And his name was so long it went onto the wall a little bit, you know.

Speaker 3 And we uh we knocked on his door and the door opens up and it's full of cigar smoke. And uh, we could barely see him sitting across the room.
He's got a big cigar in his hand.

Speaker 3 He's got the script he wrote. And he looks through the cigar smoke to us.
He goes, Hello, fellas. Nahan was the most of the accent.

Speaker 4 You know, Arnold,

Speaker 4 stylistically, Arnold reminds me of Trump and Trump reminds me of Arnold in that Arnold just is so smart, but he makes things very simple. You know,

Speaker 4 if they do your voice, all it does is spread you out there. And we talked to him recently and he said that us doing that really helped kind of solidify the voice of Arnold.

Speaker 4 And so we were fearful he might beat us up, not literally, but be mad or something or disappointed.

Speaker 4 But he was telling me and it is a smart way to go if someone does an impression of you and i think he got a great kick out of it you think they're both smart

Speaker 4 but don't know how street street smart street smart you know who hans and franz no well arnold the reason it was so funny about arnold he's like and it's all he's always got it together you do your workout you go to a hotel

Speaker 4 it's like this fantastical life very simply said and then trump's like it's gonna be beautiful it's gonna be great. I mean, it.

Speaker 3 I don't know what it is yet, but it's going to be great when I figure out what it is.

Speaker 4 So, self-promotion and very good about that. Self-promotion.

Speaker 1 Oh, we had Arnold on the podcast, and then Dana did push-ups. Remember, that was good.
That was like a little clip that went around.

Speaker 4 I could do push-ups now if it will help us somehow.

Speaker 1 It's funny.

Speaker 4 I did do, they asked me to do Elon Musk on Saturday Night Live, and I did 30 seconds of it. And they did pretty good prosthetics.
And

Speaker 4 I was him kind of at a mega, I'm Donk Mega, and I'm jumping around.

Speaker 4 And then all Elon tweeted was, or ex

Speaker 4 Dana Carvey sounds just like Dana Carvey. I thought was kind of funny.

Speaker 3 That was a slam.

Speaker 3 He was trying to slam you.

Speaker 1 Oh, that was a slam. I think

Speaker 4 it wasn't any good.

Speaker 4 I do think if you do an impression to someone, it can be. a little disjointed for them because is that how people see me?

Speaker 3 You know? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, anyone getting an impression, Tom Petty, I didn't even, I made him look like he was

Speaker 1 deformed in the face, just like stretching my face.

Speaker 1 But, you know, and then I always think when you meet him, they're going to be so excited. Like, oh, aren't you the guy that makes me look like a fool?

Speaker 1 Aren't you the guy where I, you benefit and I don't at all because I'm the guy you're making fun of? And I'm like, yeah, isn't that great?

Speaker 4 I wouldn't, I did.

Speaker 3 Oh, go ahead.

Speaker 4 I was just going to mention because I hadn't seen anyone else do that. You did Brent Musberger, who's a famous sportscaster.

Speaker 4 He may have just retired or something, but and you just pulled your eyes down or something. Yeah, I pulled my eyelids.

Speaker 3 I pulled the sides of my eyelids down. That was an Al Franken idea right there.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 just kept him there as you're talking.

Speaker 1 Oh, during the bit, you held him?

Speaker 4 Instead of prosthetics, he did it manually and just held it.

Speaker 3 Well, you know, talking about people getting mad at you for doing them,

Speaker 3 I used to think, yeah, they're all getting mad at us for doing it. But people actually, these actors love it because it gives them the attention mostly.
And I remember I did,

Speaker 3 but not always. I did Michael Bolton once where I was singing, trying to sing like him.
My voice was all raspy and I got bronchitis after that for like a month from doing that voice.

Speaker 3 So I go, I'm in Hawaii, like, you know, maybe eight months later, 10 months later. And I get into the jacuzzi

Speaker 3 in Hawaii and Michael Bolton's

Speaker 3 on the other side. It's just me and Michael Bolton and his wife at the time, my wife at the time.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 3 he did not say a word to us. And then I'm walking back to the hotel room.

Speaker 1 He didn't say anything.

Speaker 3 He didn't say one thing. And maybe.
And I said, I wonder why he was so kind of standoffish. And she goes, well, you did make fun of him.
And I said, well, I call that straight.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 4 But he ended up doing a lot of funny stuff. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 No, he's great. He's great.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I mean, he really makes fun of him.

Speaker 3 I was probably misreading it at the time, but he was, because, you know, it's had such an ego.

Speaker 1 What about when he tried to drown you?

Speaker 4 Great voice.

Speaker 3 Well, he did let me up at the last minute.

Speaker 1 Was he in the Feed the Chickens fundraiser sketch?

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 4 That was where David did.

Speaker 4 I did Dylan and you did Petty.

Speaker 4 It was all We Are the World. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It was We Are the World.

Speaker 1 I was either Dave Perner,

Speaker 1 Kirk Cobain, or Tom Petty. Those are three I did in those type of sketches where we're like doing a fundraiser where everyone, great idea, just everyone plays a celebrity.

Speaker 4 I think it was Bonnie and Terry Turner. You must have played some celebrity.

Speaker 1 And Farley was Wilson Phillips.

Speaker 1 He was Wilson and Phillips. You know, the funny thing about Farley doing that is that the other two were actually just extras, which is very rare in our show.
We had someone just play.

Speaker 1 It could have been Christine Zander or something, but you throw writers in there sometimes, but it was just purely extras that look like the other two you know when i let me ask you a question okay go ahead oh i was just gonna mention oh go ahead go ahead

Speaker 1 all right

Speaker 3 can i get a word in for a minute uh i would see these posters of you and and uh farley and you look like you're 12 at the time and

Speaker 3 and i i always think to myself i wonder and the same with john candy i think i wonder what kind of work would be done by those actors now uh if they were still alive you know, and if he were alive as well.

Speaker 3 And I always wonder

Speaker 1 what that would

Speaker 1 if Farley, you know, Farley and Tommy Boy, I still have his jacket, this like kind of plaid jacket he wore on the poster or in the movie. And it's not that big.
He wasn't that huge then.

Speaker 1 Only because I was such a twig, it kind of made him look bigger. But he probably at the end meet weighed 80 more pounds.

Speaker 3 That jacket fits you at the time.

Speaker 1 That jacket fits me now.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I think Brendan Frazier was it, Dana. He came over and he put it on, and it fit him perfectly.
And Brendan Frazier isn't big. He wasn't in his whale costume.
He was just regular.

Speaker 1 Was that a whale costume?

Speaker 3 Is that prosthetics?

Speaker 1 Remember when he played whale? Did he gain weight for that? I don't know.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that was a massive prosthetic.

Speaker 1 He told us for a full hour. I don't remember.

Speaker 4 I'm like, that was an intense movie.

Speaker 4 But I do think that Chris, Chris's golden age, age you know tommy boy and that year he had on snl you obviously uh was he guest hosting when he did the man down by the river or was that was he in the part of the cast no he was in the cast i think he did it he did it again when he

Speaker 1 okay when it later when he hosted right toward the end and he was really sweaty and uh bob odenkirk wrote that correct yeah the band down by the river

Speaker 1 yeah yeah

Speaker 3 yeah he would he would he would get really sweaty. I remember the last time I saw him, I was up in the Brillstein office and he was in a conference room, just sitting at a long table.

Speaker 3 And I think he had like his hair dyed pink. It was a mohawk or something and a leather jacket and just sweating and real fidgety.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Let me guys ask you a question. Seinfeld went crazy when I always say this.

Speaker 4 Let me ask you a question because there's all these things they're doing with SNL because the 50th documentary is this and that.

Speaker 4 They put me in some room and they had on one board tons of sketches on cards, all-time great sketches.

Speaker 4 And then they had a classic board and they go, okay, we want you to pick what would be the first sketch. You're trying to do an all-star show

Speaker 4 right after the monologue. They already had a cold opening.
I couldn't remember what it was.

Speaker 4 Host monologue. So the first sketch up and that.
I saw Van Dan by the river, but then I'm thinking, you can't have that first up because you can't follow it. you know.

Speaker 4 So you want something really up, but that people could follow. And you, you know, which was all the great.

Speaker 4 I actually, because I, not because I was in it, but I thought it was not hysterical, but incredibly entertaining. And that was

Speaker 4 Wayne's World with Tom Hanks as the roadie and also Aerosmith. And we play with them.
Like it'd be a big energy boost, but it wasn't, it wasn't like Cowbell

Speaker 4 or Van Down by the River, sketches that, you know, tough, tough to keep going in a way that take a little time. Maybe put update in between them.

Speaker 1 I like the concept that you're picking the best sketches very hard to look at the board.

Speaker 4 Trying to create the greatest show of all time.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's an interesting.

Speaker 3 One of the sketches that I loved was, and I have loved a lot of them, but it makes me laugh every time. It's making me laugh now.

Speaker 3 I think it was called the Belisimo sketch when I was with Chris the Alley going to the Italian restaurant and all the Italian, you know, like Schneider and Sandler.

Speaker 1 No Cantori, maybe.

Speaker 3 Yeah, maybe that's it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Cantori.

Speaker 3 And they were all doing this Italian, overly affectionate, you know, kissing and licking her face.

Speaker 3 No, that's what they do, honey. They're Italian.
That's

Speaker 3 kind of weird. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Two things on that for me, and I totally agree because it was, it killed like it was a home-based sketch and it was a restaurant sketch. It just crushed.

Speaker 4 And Kirsty Alley, I was supposed to lick her face.

Speaker 3 You did. Somebody licked it.

Speaker 4 No, no, and she was totally cool. Do whatever you want.
Look at any of the I don't care about anything. You know, she was very, very cool.
I just want to put that in there.

Speaker 4 And then the moment where my character goes over as Schneider and Sandler are coming in, hardly dressed. Yeah.
That kept escalating.

Speaker 4 And then I put Victoria, stood her up, put her down on the table and had her legs

Speaker 1 over my, and then kept talking as if I was stepping.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 4 that was probably the build of that whole whole sketch, that moment where I was just the passenger in the joke, nothing I was doing, legs over my thing,

Speaker 4 was one of the biggest

Speaker 3 and it's in the background too.

Speaker 1 So it's not like right up front, it's in the background of the shoulder.

Speaker 4 Of course, it's kind of casual.

Speaker 1 Was Sam wearing a jock strap when he was waiting for

Speaker 1 a waiter?

Speaker 3 But that was the funny thing is when we're walking away, they all come up to the window and Sam is going to speedo on.

Speaker 4 It's neither there.

Speaker 3 And they're all looking like they're puppies in a, you know, running to be adopted.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we're just pressing our faces. Okay.
It's called Il Cantori. It's on YouTube.
Il Cantori.

Speaker 3 The other one that comes to mind is Headwound Harry that Jack Candy wrote when

Speaker 3 Dana's wig, they had put some like red syrup on there so the dog would lick it. And the dog is pulling on, it's pulling his wig.
wig off and Dana's trying to hold on to it.

Speaker 4 I was again, I was just the passenger in that and they did put more. Did Schneider tell us they put more? It was like baby food or something, but they kind of held back on the dress show.

Speaker 4 And then they put a ton on the prosthesis, the fake, you know, rubber bloody head, I suppose they had. And then I knew I had the sketch was going so strong

Speaker 4 that

Speaker 4 I made the, I just did not want the wig to come off and have it be a, so I just held it at the temple. And that just made the tug of war go on for

Speaker 4 a minute or something. And so you can't beat a dog that doesn't know what's in a sketch.
Yeah. It just really is hungry.

Speaker 1 It's trying to fuck with it.

Speaker 3 It would have been hilarious if he actually took the wig and ran away with.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would have been fucking awesome. Just the title alone.
It could have gone to that.

Speaker 3 Just the title alone, Head Wound Harry.

Speaker 1 Massive head.

Speaker 1 Oh, massive.

Speaker 3 That makes me laugh so hard.

Speaker 4 With a little song. And I was talking to Sarah Sherman and some of the younger cast members.
And I said,

Speaker 4 I love a little

Speaker 4 presentational sketch where the song kind of tells you everything you need to know.

Speaker 4 And they said that's kind of out of fashion. I didn't want to be a grumpy old man.
Okay. But

Speaker 4 it was always very relaxing when you'd see a little song and a thing, and then you go in, the guy actually has a massive headbone. I don't know.

Speaker 4 I would do more of that personally, but maybe it's out of style.

Speaker 1 Like Toonses.

Speaker 1 Toons has had one.

Speaker 4 Toons is the cat. Or even Hans and Franz.
Welcome to Hans and Franz.

Speaker 1 Or even He's Lyle, the

Speaker 4 Effeminate Heterosexual.

Speaker 1 There was a song, wasn't there?

Speaker 4 Everything is conjectural. He's Lyle, the effeminate heterosexual.
I had a hard time with that one because, and again, this is the early 90s.

Speaker 4 It was very edgy. I heard it was Tim Burton's favorite sketch.

Speaker 4 But I met a hairdresser who I just thought was gay and he was straight, you know.

Speaker 4 And so that there it went from there. But I couldn't really do the voice because every time I did it, it sounded like church lady to me.
So I had to come up with a different

Speaker 4 that's inside baseball.

Speaker 4 Um,

Speaker 4 Kevin, so you had uh subliminal man

Speaker 4 on update several times.

Speaker 3 Well, that was the first sketch I ever did was Mrs. Subliminal in the first show that we came out of the gig on.

Speaker 3 And I was terrified because you know, you see, you're standing on the stage with Belushi and that's right.

Speaker 4 When was that on in the show, by the way?

Speaker 3 It was, I'm not sure. I think it might have been the first half, but I remember waiting to go on and I'm terrified.

Speaker 3 And we're like 10 seconds out from commercial and Lauren Michaels comes up to me and he puts his hand on my shoulder and he said, are you sure this is what you want?

Speaker 1 Action.

Speaker 1 What psycho. He always has little quips and he doesn't realize they're just like bombshells to whoever is about to go on.
Everyone's so scared.

Speaker 4 I believe he believes, and maybe it does in a way kind of relax you. I mean, once you get used to it, not on your very first show, but Lauren always does stuff like that.

Speaker 4 It'd be a good thing if this show was actually like good, you know, and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 I would love to see a

Speaker 3 compilation of everybody's first sketch. It's kind of gauge the level of nervousness that they're having.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's interesting.

Speaker 3 But but not good

Speaker 1 no it's not it's not a great idea but it's an interesting idea yeah

Speaker 1 what was yours i can't even think of what you had any line in oh you know mine was casualties of war when i did michael j fox and it backfired a great

Speaker 1 backfired because backfire because they forgot to put me as a feature player in the opening credits so people thought it was dana or mike because i had a wig on And they didn't know it didn't sound like my voice.

Speaker 1 So they were just like, who's that guy? You know,

Speaker 3 Elon Musk thought it was you.

Speaker 1 Huh?

Speaker 3 Elon Musk thought it was you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He said, I saw that bit.
It sounded like David Spade. Exactly.

Speaker 4 David Spade. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, and I was like, oh.

Speaker 4 So, yeah, Kevin and I, I mean, to have a sketch, say it was before update and stuff was a big thing, you know, especially we had a small cast and our very first show.

Speaker 4 Everyone got to do a lot of stuff, right?

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's only like eight of us, right?

Speaker 4 I think it, yeah, total.

Speaker 1 You guys had four cast members, right?

Speaker 3 When we first started, I think it was five, maybe, or it was one.

Speaker 1 Five or six.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I was a featured player. And then the next year, Lauren said I could be either a cast member or if I want to stay a writer, or I could

Speaker 3 remain a writer. And I mean, you know, but if I became a cast member, I wouldn't have that writing title.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's right. They take writing away.
But we also write them.

Speaker 3 I took the cast. I took being on the cast.

Speaker 1 So you were in the cast? Yeah.

Speaker 4 They're doing a documentary.

Speaker 4 One of the SNL. There's five of them on Peacock.

Speaker 4 And I guess one of them is just writers, which is great.

Speaker 4 But I asked the person who saw it, I said, is there any cast members in there who just were writing but didn't get credit? Because

Speaker 4 it is, it's, you get used to it, but it is just sort of funny. People say, who wrote that thing? I'm like, well, I wrote 90% of it, you know.
Right, right, right.

Speaker 1 It's crazy that you don't get that.

Speaker 3 I hosted uh one of those uh it was called the weird year and that was in 1985 i think that cast 85 86 yeah yeah that transitional strange year yeah anthe michael hall robert downing jr all talented you know actors but i don't think the synergy was there between the writers and them

Speaker 1 synergy

Speaker 3 you know it didn't they don't let it steep enough you know yeah

Speaker 4 well there's groundlings and second sitting stuff, and then there's just stand-up and

Speaker 4 stand-up and then actors. But stand-ups, you know, we're trained to get a laugh.
And so we automatically are trained to have some brevity to the setup and things like that.

Speaker 4 We're aware of the laugh points. But

Speaker 4 I would have loved to have gone to something like Groundlings. Didn't have it when I was starting out in San Francisco.

Speaker 3 That is my regret. But, you know, who would have thought all I wanted to ever do was stand-up comedy? I wasn't even thinking about acting or improv.
I just wanted to be a stand-up.

Speaker 3 But yeah, in hindsight, I would have much rather been in the ground links had I known like SNL was going to come after me.

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Speaker 1 I have a question before we dump Kevin, but

Speaker 1 Kevin,

Speaker 1 what was the movie you did with Sandler? You've probably done a handful with him, right?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I've done like 13 show

Speaker 1 films.

Speaker 1 The one where you had plastic surgery.

Speaker 3 Oh, that was called Just Go With It.

Speaker 1 And did they, they looked like they, it looked pretty real. What did they do?

Speaker 3 Well, that was four hours in a makeup chair every morning. It was, it had to be because it looked good for four days and they only used me for one of those times, you know.

Speaker 1 Oh, really?

Speaker 3 Yeah, one. But it was really funny character because I had so much plastic surgery and Sandler was a plastic surgeon.

Speaker 3 And I would see him at the party and I come up to him because I was addicted to plastic surgery. And I go, you know, whatever his name was, one more, one more cap.

Speaker 3 Just give me one more cap, you know, implant cap implant you know i'll take one you know and then i'd laugh and the water would drool out of the corner of my mouth and i couldn't move my face you know uh but yeah that was but i i done a lot of those films with him i remember i was uh i got the script for grandma's boy and i read it and i thought i don't know man i don't think i want to do this one it's like really crass and you know sandler wasn't even in it but he was producing it and so i decided not to do it and the next day sandler called me neilan i really hope you do this show this movie because you you know, if you don't do it, it's a big hit, I'll feel bad.

Speaker 3 But, you know, if it's not a big kid, no one will see it anyway. You did that.

Speaker 4 That was Nick Schwartzon, right? And yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And it was Jennifer Anderson in the plastic surgeon film with Sandler. That was, that was a big hit, I believe, that movie.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Just go with it. It was huge.
Grandma's boy, I was in, and I probably did Kevin's part that he passed on. I was a waiter.

Speaker 3 Well, no, I didn't pass on. I ultimately played Mr.

Speaker 1 Teasel when he was your boss.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I did too. And they, I, I jinxed Adam.
I mean,

Speaker 4 I think the films were perfectly good, but they didn't outperform. And first one was Little Nikki.
All right. And I played the ref with a high-pitched voice.

Speaker 4 And then Jack and Jill, where Regis and I were kind of hanging out because Regis Philman was in that one too.

Speaker 1 It was just like small parts.

Speaker 4 But Jack and Jill, I guess I think it has a resurgence now because you know it had a lot of funny stuff in it, you know.

Speaker 1 Happy Gilmore is coming up.

Speaker 1 Did you do Happy Gilmore?

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, I just finished doing that.

Speaker 1 Oh, you did

Speaker 3 amazing. Yeah, that's gonna be crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, that was funny.

Speaker 4 I think that movie is just sort of iconic.

Speaker 4 At some point, it became iconic.

Speaker 1 So people really want to see it. The budget was the GNP of Guatemala.

Speaker 3 It really was, man. I've never seen, it was almost like an invasion going into the, you know,

Speaker 3 I mean, it was like 100 trailers and wall cards everywhere and, you know, prime rib and wild salmon.

Speaker 4 How many cameos in it or how many character actors are in it? I keep hearing people are in Epi Gilmore, too.

Speaker 3 There's a lot. There's a lot of like athletes and cameos.

Speaker 1 Guinness book world record of cameos.

Speaker 4 Love it, you.

Speaker 4 Marcelo. Yeah.
Messino.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I mean, it's just a lot, a lot of people, a lot, a lot of people.

Speaker 1 It's going to be a lot. It's going to be a huge smash.

Speaker 4 We're going to do things. We're going to take over.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was a very interesting when he goes, and Panama, we're taking back Panama. I mean, it does get a little like he even outdoes Trump.
We're taking it back. We're taking it back.

Speaker 4 I mean, what is Panama supposed to do?

Speaker 1 Panama goes, what the fuck's going on?

Speaker 4 I mean, the guy is just what a character.

Speaker 4 We'll see where it goes.

Speaker 1 All right, Kevin.

Speaker 4 I think we should let Kevin go because he's been a really good sport today kevin nealon yeah as a friend of the podcast came in

Speaker 1 um well yeah you had a uh

Speaker 3 you had a fallout so i you called me and i was in the next studio over i said sure i'll come over you know and uh filled in for that person and um you don't really see that on podcasts that much hey can you come on over we just had somebody drop out yeah you know like they used to do on all those talk shows oh yeah they call me on a lot of these talk shows and go you're our favorite guest.

Speaker 1 Can you be here in 12 minutes? I'm like, oh, this isn't a fallout, is it? They're like, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 one time Richard Gere fell out and they called, they were calling around and Schneider did it. And then he goes, I'm just going to do it as Richard Gere.

Speaker 1 So he did the interview and just answered whatever he thought Richard Gere would say.

Speaker 1 That's funny. Yeah, it bombed.
Anyway,

Speaker 1 no, it did good. It was funny.

Speaker 3 I remember we had SNL. You know, our studios was above Letterman.

Speaker 3 oh yeah whenever somebody bailed out on letterman they would call me to come down and it got to the point where i i really had nothing to say nothing prepared so i thought i can't really do this anymore i never thought i'd be turning down like a spot on letterman conan too when conan took over yeah you guys might have been gone by then but yeah

Speaker 1 uh but kevin you're on the road so go see kevin on the road Yeah, KevinNeal.com, my tour schedule.

Speaker 3 I have that. Don't forget the hiking show, man.
Hi, King and Kevin.

Speaker 1 You both did it. It's fucking funny.

Speaker 1 So you can go watch on YouTube. Is that where it is on YouTube?

Speaker 3 It's on YouTube. And I have that book out.
You both, you know.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's it.

Speaker 3 I exaggerate my brushes with fame. I exaggerate.

Speaker 4 I exaggerate.

Speaker 1 Two great titles. I exaggerate.
And then under that, brushes with fame. So

Speaker 4 is that a memoir, as they say, or autobiography?

Speaker 3 It's not really, but it kind of turned out to be one because I talk about, you know, Johnny Carson doing that and how we met, you and I, and you and me. And

Speaker 3 yeah, so it kind of became kind of a memo, but it's like these 60 paintings I've done, caricatures, and on the opposite page is a little anecdote about that person.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's tricky. That's good.

Speaker 1 If you, would you be scared to do a caricature of me? Cause there's nothing to exaggerate because I have perfect features.

Speaker 3 You're in the next book, by the way.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. Hold me a spot because a lot of things about me that are really interesting.
Also,

Speaker 3 you look a lot like Richard Gere, though, innit?

Speaker 1 It better not be Richard Gere. It better be me.
I need my own page. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, I think Dick Gere is a great.

Speaker 4 I really like Dick Gere. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I like his.

Speaker 1 They always have weird names. His son's name is Forth, and I knew Forth Gear when I used to be anyway.

Speaker 1 How about the daughter?

Speaker 3 The daughter is winter right

Speaker 1 is that true winter gear

Speaker 1 winter gear it's not as good

Speaker 1 it's not even a saying

Speaker 1 now Kevin so if we go on YouTube hiking start with my episode because we walk on flat ground and then also you can watch old episodes and new ones right that's good that's the good part yeah it's all on YouTube it's like five seasons of them I've done over

Speaker 3 140 hikes.

Speaker 1 You used to Bill Bird. I see that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I did Bill. It was like two days before the fire wiped out Will Rogers.
They parted.

Speaker 4 What's all this brush?

Speaker 1 Why do you have brush? Yeah. Come on, Dana.
Go ahead.

Speaker 3 That was fun.

Speaker 4 You know what drives me nuts?

Speaker 1 There we go.

Speaker 4 Cyclone fences. What the fuck? Get a regular fence.

Speaker 4 Drives me out of my fucking mind.

Speaker 1 Who eats pickles? It's a fucking cucumber. Go fuck yourself.

Speaker 3 You got to close.

Speaker 3 Before you send me off, Dana, you got to do your... I don't know if you do your cold, but Dennis.

Speaker 3 This one makes me laugh more than anything, Dana.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Love it.

Speaker 4 Doing pretty good. Gonna go down to

Speaker 4 get a little lobster down at the pier this afternoon.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Our friend Dennis is

Speaker 4 in a very relaxed time in his life. Let's put it that way.
And it's really fun to talk to him because he's just very chill. Yeah.
Okay. Sammy came on.

Speaker 4 He still calls you Sammy, refers to you as Sammy because we did the two Sammys in 1986.

Speaker 3 Scott, yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, he's uh, he seems very relaxed and chill in his spot, in his place right now. Good for him.

Speaker 2 And where are we at?

Speaker 1 He's not desperate and thirsty like me out there running around doing gigs all over this fucking town

Speaker 3 and his country.

Speaker 1 All over the country. Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Well, Kevin.

Speaker 3 Do you take advantage of social media?

Speaker 3 I mean, do you feel like you should be out there like, you know, more comfortable?

Speaker 1 In an illegal way.

Speaker 1 I do clips. I don't really do clips of my act because most of my

Speaker 1 stuff is a little longer than, you know, I could put longer clips, but some bits I guess I still do. Some of the old ones I put up.
Some are not as relevant.

Speaker 1 But it is good to just have clips floating around. Someone catches something.

Speaker 3 Yeah. You don't do audience work, crowd work.

Speaker 1 I don't. And I don't know if I even love when I see these clips because everyone's doing them only because that's the clips you put out

Speaker 1 to come see them so they don't burn their real material. But then they look like a crowd work act.
So some people go there explaining.

Speaker 4 Well, you can do a crowdwork act. I mean, it's okay now, film five shows and take the best crowd work parts and just call it crowd work.
I mean, that beats writing an act.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what I'm writing.

Speaker 4 You're very good at that. So,

Speaker 1 well, you know,

Speaker 3 what a lot of people don't know is I do the same crowd work on every show.

Speaker 3 You know, I do the same, you know, whoever the person is, I'll do the same lines each time. Looks like it's spontaneous, but no, no.

Speaker 4 But, oh, so you don't want to record it because then you can't use it.

Speaker 3 No, I use the same three people in the audience. I take them with me on the road.
They're shills. Oh, okay.
And it looks like it's spontaneous.

Speaker 1 You know what I do, Kevin? I go.

Speaker 4 It's like a lot of work to travel with. It is.

Speaker 3 And the cot. I bring the cot with me too.

Speaker 1 So it's a big, it's a pre-production. It's a big to-do.

Speaker 3 I was talking with uh Brian Regan once. He did one of my hikes.
And he says everything in his act is it's the way it's supposed to be. There's no spontaneity or anything.

Speaker 3 If he spills a little water, that was planned.

Speaker 4 For real? Brian. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And one of the funniest comics out there.

Speaker 1 I know people that do that, like when they laugh

Speaker 1 in the middle of a joke, and then I see them all week and they laugh at the same spot every night. And I go, oh my God.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I know, but it is an act. That's why they call it an act.

Speaker 1 It's a magic trick. You're like, hey,

Speaker 4 well, you're pretending

Speaker 4 that you're remembering your material. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's trying to fool the audience. I mean, it's,

Speaker 3 yeah,

Speaker 3 yeah. I used to know everybody when they took a, you know, a swallow before their

Speaker 3 line or, you know, it's, it's, and you know, here's the one thing I don't do. And this is just for me.
It's, I don't call a bit a joke.

Speaker 3 Like if somebody laughs, they'll say, oh, you know, that last joke, I, you know, because that's like,

Speaker 3 it's like a magician saying that was a trick.

Speaker 3 No, I thought that was real. I thought that really happened.

Speaker 1 No, no, it was a trick.

Speaker 3 You know, so I never call it a joke.

Speaker 3 And so that way people realize I'm not a comedian. They go, well, maybe he's not a comedian.
Maybe that's actually happened to him.

Speaker 1 This is just an hour of things that happened to him recently.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, no. It's a lot of.

Speaker 1 Well, when you say, you know,

Speaker 1 actually let's say two weeks ago I was driving with me yeah you say something like that

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 4 and I've done all the tricks I've done all that stuff it's all good stuff some of your early stuff was uh I remember seeing this one at the comedy magic club you know they say live every day like it's your last so every day I take out insurance ball or whatever you say stay on the phone for three hours making uh funeral arrangements and then I just take it literally

Speaker 3 every single day get on the phone to do that because it's your last day isn't it funny that and i know this happens to you too somebody will come up and they'll say uh in fact spade did this to me once he goes hey you got a really nice camera right it's one of those black ones you know remember that spade and then you don't remember and i go that's from your yeah that's what i'm saying you people remind you and you go oh i i i don't i don't know that one but i i guess so i i saw letterman a couple weeks ago and uh he was

Speaker 3 telling me about it how much he loved this joke that I used to do and he tells it to everybody and gives me credit.

Speaker 3 i said which one was it he goes well you talk about how uh abraham lincoln used to walk to school every day in the snow but what they don't tell you is yeah but he was late every day and he loved that joke so much and so a week later i tried it in a club because i don't remember it if i tried it in a club crickets nothing yeah bomb

Speaker 1 i like when you say i stayed uh i got i stayed in a hotel it was nestled in the hills it's always sounds better than wedged it's wedged in the hills i stay they actually they were not i i uh they put me in the honeymoon suite i stayed with a nice couple from nebraska

Speaker 4 yeah you know those are those are good

Speaker 3 yeah you know a hotel could be nestled it can't be wedged though in a hillside you know underwear is wedged underwear can't be nestled you know

Speaker 3 you never pull your underwear out of your crack and go oh that was kind of nestled up there yeah it really got nestled deep

Speaker 1 okay let's leave on that one day it was steeped it was steeped in my butt The word of the day was steeped. Thank you, Kevin.
We'll do this again in a week.

Speaker 4 Thanks, Kevin.

Speaker 3 Thank you, man.

Speaker 1 Okay, bye, guys.

Speaker 1 This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all the stuff.
Smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 1 Fly on the Wall is executive and produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.