SUPERFLY #52 - Trump Dumps
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Transcript
Speaker 1 Hey, David, when it comes to gifting, you know, I've learned there are two types of presents. Okay.
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Speaker 1
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Speaker 1 Without trying too hard, David, not talking about you.
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Speaker 1
You know, when it gets colder, I always fall in the same trap. Heavy meals, too much takeout.
And suddenly I'm like, why do my jeans hate me? I know. Yeah, me too.
Speaker 1
I mean, I'll open the fridge in December and it's like half a pizza and an orange from 1997. Not a lot of healthy options, David.
But here's the thing: staying on track doesn't have to be impossible.
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It's about time.
Speaker 1 I'd rather spend 30 minutes working on a bit for my hilarious act than 30 minutes staring into my oven going,
Speaker 1 is this thing even on? Right?
Speaker 1 This is that one little thing that keeps you sane during the cold months. No stress, no junk, just done.
Speaker 1
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If you wait till the holiday slump hits, you'll be knee-deep in stuffing and regret.
Speaker 1 Head to forkfoldmeals.com and use the code pod50 for 50 off your first order all right that's forkful meals.com code pod50 that's pod50 seriously don't wait your future self will thank you yes thank you for not feeding me the leftover lasagna for the 12th time
Speaker 1 Dana's a little under the weather today, but he's going to push this.
Speaker 1 I have something that you don't want to have. Trust me.
Speaker 1 This is, I don't want you, you should not have this. But you did.
Speaker 1 You did go out on stage once.
Speaker 1 I went on stage. We were telling Kevin Nealon today on the other podcast that
Speaker 1 I went out with a hoarse throat like Laryngeas, which is very tough to go out with because
Speaker 1 you don't really know what you're getting. It sort of kicked in and out, but
Speaker 1 I definitely gave everything on my, I thought it's better an hour before the show to just do it and try it.
Speaker 1 And worst case, I'd come back or something, but I don't want to send everyone home with their babysitters and they don't even know really what's wrong.
Speaker 1 Are you really sick? Why would you cancel? Because I did that once when there was a real problem.
Speaker 1 And I said, say these apologies, say this because people are already there.
Speaker 1
And I was told I can't go on. So I said, oh, I'm so sorry.
Anyway. All they did was send an email to everyone at a ticket and said, show's canceled.
Speaker 1
We'll reschedule. And that was it.
And I'm like, who wants to hear that after all that? You know, that's a little rough.
Speaker 1 It happens. I mean, I do a lot of voices, so I can't come out there and go, well, isn't that special? You know, well, isn't that who could it have been
Speaker 1 safe?
Speaker 1 So I'm kind of here and here.
Speaker 1 Not fun, but we don't want to bring down our audience other than looking at it. and saying, I don't have that.
Speaker 1
No, I'll bring down my audience because you don't think you have problems. You think, wait, you think you have problems.
Listen to these.
Speaker 1 I slept
Speaker 1
and I had the air conditioner worked on. And this is a bombshell.
And I don't mean to clip this out. And I don't mean to
Speaker 1 use this or not.
Speaker 1 If you're hearing it, we cut it out. If it's too
Speaker 1 shocking for people driving pullover.
Speaker 1 I don't sleep with the AC on or the heat because.
Speaker 1 Oh, Danny, you weren't ready for that?
Speaker 1 Oh, my God, it caused an earthquake.
Speaker 1
Sometimes it is that you have create tremors. We're from IM.
Go ahead. What it is, is.
Speaker 1
We're not going to air this. This is going to be edited out.
So just go ahead, be honest. Yeah, this is like a practice.
So we,
Speaker 1
it blows on me and I don't like it on my face. So even on the road, no matter how hot or cold, I put the, like here, I put the heat on till I go to bed, off.
Then I dive in.
Speaker 1 And then I don't want to blowing in my face, you get all clogged up. So it suddenly
Speaker 1 a guy worked on,
Speaker 1 you know, filters because it's so thick with smoke and sickening here. Yeah.
Speaker 1 And bacterium and particulates.
Speaker 1 So I
Speaker 1 changed it so it'd be 1% better.
Speaker 1
And something happened. And then it was blowing cold air 24 hours a day on me in the winter.
And it was so cold. It's never been colder in the house.
Last two nights. So that's really the whole story.
Speaker 1 There's no real beginning, middle, or end of that story.
Speaker 1
I'll make an observation. I'm like you, I think most people, I never want to have air conditioning directly on me.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 If it's if it's in the weird, in the room, but cold, ice, cold air, I'd hate it in a gym when I just, you're just, you're trying to stay warm and I'm doing the lat pull and there's just cold, ice, cold air coming down on me.
Speaker 1
These are first world problems, but I'm telling you, there's still problems. This is a problem.
When you're on the stair master and I start slow,
Speaker 1 I crank it up.
Speaker 1 They don't sound anything like that.
Speaker 1 That one needs some work. That's a made-up sound effect.
Speaker 1
People at home are like, maybe, I don't know. It sounds like I used to beat the hell out of it.
I got married to a Stair Master.
Speaker 1
I mean, I used to, in New York, because I didn't have the time to go run in the park in the middle of winter. I jump on a stair master.
Oh, yeah. They should be one of our sponsors still around.
Speaker 1
45 minutes at the top, drenched in sweat. Thank you.
Oh, yeah. Dennis Miller, who's on Flying the Wall right now,
Speaker 1 was saying
Speaker 1 he would talk to you and you were on the StairMaster for an hour and you wouldn't even be heavy breathing.
Speaker 1 I like it. I got addicted to it in high school and junior college.
Speaker 1 anaerobic pain. Like actually
Speaker 1
your body's screaming at you to stop and you just keep going anyway. You push through it, and then the high that you get from that is pretty amazing.
Yeah, I need some sort of highs in my life.
Speaker 1
Okay, so I'm going to give you a couple updates, Dana, before we get into the nitty-gritty. I'm going to try to keep it at under 50 coughs.
Yeah, I don't care.
Speaker 1 As long as I'm sitting next to you on a plane, the reward money for the arson, I did. You know, we threw that out there, right? And people bit on that hook a little too hard because,
Speaker 1 as I said on last week's show, people are just
Speaker 1 straight up asking for money.
Speaker 1 Two,
Speaker 1
I sort of saw this coming. Two, hey, here's a video from Instagram of a fire.
So here's my banking information. It's Chase Bank.
Here's the account.
Speaker 1 And I'm like, wait, you're just sending me a video of a fire.
Speaker 1 That doesn't count. So I said in there, to make it a little less of a scam for people and easy, I said, let's do, you have to, you know, have the cops come get someone arrested.
Speaker 1
You know, I'm sure they'll never stay in jail or in California, but at least arrested. And then they let them out five seconds later.
But it's something. Goes on the record, maybe.
Right.
Speaker 1
And it's more to keep people's awareness up, eyes peeled. Like, hey, do something out there.
Like these are, these little fires can go big.
Speaker 1 And at press time right now,
Speaker 1 there's a huge one again. Where?
Speaker 1 Up on the five in Castaic, 5,000 acres like that right away.
Speaker 1 I'm shooting up there, bus boys, tomorrow, and I'm freaking out right now going, oh my God, we have a stunt. We have all this stuff.
Speaker 1 and i'm like first problem is it's a horrible situation for everyone in california another fire secondly minorly what do i do can we move the date can we i don't know anyway that's all so wait a minute just just so it's the grapevine right what we call the grapevine in la you know what is it heather the 15
Speaker 1 by magic mountain 14 to the five it goes up the five goes up the five there's a but is it kind of close to magic mountain or up toward the top of the it's a little above it a little above magic mountain got it okay they're gonna shut the five down or something they said damn so we need we need a rain i mean could we just get dude some sprinkles let's just get only fans all the squirters let's get them all do something for the fire that's that
Speaker 1 come on that'll get some press we get all the top
Speaker 1 squirters we know it we're just desperate we're just yeah we're grabbing it whatever you want to call it but we we're just trying to think of something because
Speaker 1
you need two weeks you're laying around how can I help? Here's what you can do. Literally, two weeks, a week of hard rain.
There's no more fire threat.
Speaker 1 So I mean, they said there might be rain Friday, Saturday. And please, God, even if it's a sprinkle, just do something.
Speaker 1
Anything. It's crazy.
So anyway, I will say,
Speaker 1
you know, thank you out there to all the brave squirters. Okay.
So that joke, I sort of milked it till it was over.
Speaker 1 You had some of the kitty over here.
Speaker 1
Did you have that in your back pocket? Look at all these. I'm getting the greatest hits here.
I think because I'm under the weather, you're in
Speaker 1 me.
Speaker 1 I'm unleashed.
Speaker 1
Your job is to make me laugh, even though I can't laugh because I'll cough. But I love it.
But that was great. I got the greatest hits.
I got the cat. I got the cat.
Speaker 1 Licking in the cat, licking its paws and then a little wink.
Speaker 1
Milk, milk, milk. Give some to the kitty.
You aim it over.
Speaker 1
That's a noise. And then the kitty gets in the eye.
funny and then he goes wow and he goes
Speaker 1 and then he takes his little paw and yeah licks it licks the milk off. When did you first do that exactly? That one I have done before.
Speaker 1 No, I've seen it. I've seen it many times on this bot, but I've just really
Speaker 1
in the rotation enough. I will say that.
It's a great little funny piece. It's a great little set piece.
It's got noises. It's quick.
Speaker 1 So back to sadness.
Speaker 1 The sadness is the fire. Now, the other thing was the arson, and it's a little silver lining that a lot of people were like, hey, I saw a guy in my neighborhood.
Speaker 1 Like, I never would have said anything, but I'm going to let you know. And then I called the police and then I went out and said something to him and I filmed him just to get the word out.
Speaker 1
Like, hey, come on, man, let's do this. Cause these are a little garbage can fire can do anything.
It can go to the side of a building. So there was a lot of, I don't want to say the word winners.
Speaker 1
I want to say there's a lot of people that got involved. A lot of people sent me stuff.
And it's hard because They're over on TikTok. Like, how do they get a hold of me?
Speaker 1
They're just DMing and this and that. So the ones I've seen and Heather, I send them to Heather when they they seem very real.
And
Speaker 1 we did give money to someone yesterday, 5,000. So there's one gentleman.
Speaker 1
I mean, it's good in the way that just it's a way of giving back, but also just give it physically to someone that did something. So he did something.
There was an arrest report. He sent it in.
Speaker 1 We said, great.
Speaker 1
There's a cop on the set of bus boys. So we said, hey, is this real? He's like, yeah, all good.
And
Speaker 1 there's, I think, two more that are looking like it might happen.
Speaker 1 Yeah, we're waiting for police. Well, just before you go,
Speaker 1 what did this person see?
Speaker 1 This person,
Speaker 1 Heather, he saw someone lighting a fire. Oh, literally lighting a fire.
Speaker 1 Oh, he's lighting
Speaker 1
like egg crate. He's doing a lot, lighting a bunch of different ones.
So I guess the guy called the police, followed him. Bald face, obvious.
Speaker 1
Yeah, but then when they found him, he smelled of them. Oh, he smelled, and he had gasoline on him.
So he smelled of gas, had gas, and had
Speaker 1 previous warrants for
Speaker 1 arson.
Speaker 1
So that's his thing. Well, glad they got him.
We don't need any arsonists right now. Wait till it rains, and then you can try to light shit on fire.
His nickname was Johnny Arson.
Speaker 1 His Native American friend was called Me Like Fire.
Speaker 1 Johnny Arson and Ed McFlames. So anyway,
Speaker 1 so we got that guy, and then there was some more, and then there's a guy that stopped someone on a hike, and he was just saying, the guy was literally lighting stuff.
Speaker 1
He's like, hey, man, you can't light stuff. And some people I saw were lighting those candles in a paper bag.
What are they? You know, they float over. It's some sort of.
Speaker 1 You release them into the sky. You release them into like
Speaker 1
the hot air balloons in a way. Thinking of the word, but they do it at a wedding and they do the place.
And people were behind me going, hey, guys, bad time.
Speaker 1 You know, don't do this this is not the time to do that and they're like no it's just for this no it's just for a ceremony the word oh i'm gonna float these up then they land in the mountains and everything catches on fire so uh there's two more possibilities we sort of did a cutoff because there's hundreds coming in so uh anyway that's sort of a positive note um that's great I won't say the guy's name.
Speaker 1 I don't think he cares, but I just thought, whatever, he got it. It's real.
Speaker 1 We have another update, which is
Speaker 1
Stephen Greer. So Dr.
Stephen Greer was
Speaker 1 on our show that kind of blew up on YouTube. A UFO,
Speaker 1 former
Speaker 1 trauma doctor says, you know, in the next three weeks, two months,
Speaker 1
and it's been exactly a month. So they did have a reveal the other day.
And I think this might be what he's talking about. So this is, they say, the problem with this.
Speaker 1
and everything in the last two years is it real. You can't freak people out.
Unless you see it in the sky and it's shooting lasers or landing and people walking out.
Speaker 1 No one's really believing it, or if they believe it, they don't care. So, this is a helicopter.
Speaker 1 This guy was a whistleblower.
Speaker 1 He runs a helicopter, I think, that
Speaker 1 takes the UFO 20 feet long, shaped like an egg, and dropping it somewhere.
Speaker 2 News Nation has independently obtained previous
Speaker 3 video obtained from a secret UAP craft retrieval project.
Speaker 3 Also, a
Speaker 3 memory footage clearly shows an egg-shaped object
Speaker 2 sling below the belly of a helicopter.
Speaker 1 The belly.
Speaker 1 It looks green.
Speaker 1 Well,
Speaker 1 it's not, and it looks like a face, but that's that's a helicopter with a cable. Well, why is that one around all green?
Speaker 1 It's night vision.
Speaker 2 That's an egg-shaped UAP suspended from a 150-foot long line. We're told the craft is about 20 feet long.
Speaker 2 Egg suspended in a cradle.
Speaker 1 The egg scrambling.
Speaker 2 Let's freeze frame here to look at one of the clearest images of a UAP.
Speaker 1 Those are the wraps around it to pick it up.
Speaker 1 It's not really a blue, blurry light in a distant sky.
Speaker 1 Where's the UAP rights and the current
Speaker 3 incredible?
Speaker 1 Where is it laying? Where did the guy say?
Speaker 1 He's a full whistleblower.
Speaker 1 I think since this, I found the little hieroglyphics.
Speaker 1 Almost graceful as it lands over easy.
Speaker 1 All right, it's just a little too dramatic. If it really was an alien craft, you don't have to go, and look at the alien craft.
Speaker 1
Yeah, you don't have to hype it up. It will be scary enough.
A little too silly for me. Doesn't mean it's not true, but it felt a little bit.
Speaker 1
I don't mind hearing words like obtained and extraordinary. Well, I can say that British sports announcers are extraordinarily better than American sports announcers.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1
But they are incredible. Here they go.
The race is surely afoot. Steve P.
Fontaine, a sort of athletic beetle. Oh, the chunky American is completely bankrupt.
Speaker 1
I mean, the language they use is extraordinary. Formula One.
Jackie Stewart is coming out. He's slings shots around Max Van Steben.
And now he's got to go. He's got to go now or never.
Speaker 1
This is his last chance. Jackie Stewart.
Nope. Nope.
Yes, he's going for it. He's going for it now in the inside, the outside of his own.
Speaker 1
Quite remarkable. Quite remarkable.
And now, Jackie Stewart, how would you feel about the race?
Speaker 1 Extraordinary.
Speaker 1 Well, I will say this UAP might have been a whistleblower, but it's a start. And
Speaker 1
I think if they opened the egg hatch, walked out, hello, my baby. I would need something like that.
That's what people are wanting. Well, if you've ever seen, you're a little younger than I am.
Speaker 1
The day the earth stood still, a saucer lands on the White House lawn. And a big giant robot comes out and starts talking.
Starts fucking shit up or no? No,
Speaker 1
but maybe threatening to. And then there was an alien.
what are you looking at
Speaker 1 aren't you are you i am zoranor i am a god you now will can you get a look a good gander of my balls from down there we are from the planet
Speaker 1 we're from the planet balsacia and we are here to come in peace so bad that's all i hear if not i'll come in my jeans
Speaker 1 excuse me excuse me zordia hey man i want to have this guy on our podcast that about the universe this astrophysicist
Speaker 1
And aliens, you know, we don't know. Do you know that if you hold up a foot-long ruler up above the ground, it's 12 inches.
And then you put it down in the ground, it shrinks a half inch.
Speaker 1
No. It's literally not 12 inches because of sort of mass versus space and space versus time.
And that might have to be a two-party.
Speaker 1 What I would use in my real life is. If I climbed a ladder, would my wiener look bigger? Just so I know if I should buy a ladder for my house.
Speaker 1 Well, you'd want to have um or on the ground a tiny house and a tiny ladder like everything around you has to look minuscule it's the book the good thing is you get a ruler that's this long then you go okay so this is 12.
Speaker 1 oh
Speaker 1 even 12. okay
Speaker 1 not bad not too shabby
Speaker 1 take that robot on the white house lawn
Speaker 1 that for you also denotes kind of what's the thing with the tongue on either side inside the mouth
Speaker 1 Is that what I do? Yeah. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1
Oh, you want to fight? I don't even know. I do that.
That's funny. I just saw it.
Speaker 1 I was on the road with Catherine and Bobby, and Catherine let me know that A, I use my hands the whole time, almost like that Gavin Newsom video we showed, which I didn't know.
Speaker 1 And she said, also, you touch your face maybe 1,000 times. I'm like,
Speaker 1 no idea.
Speaker 1 No idea.
Speaker 1 This is you doing stand-up. When I do stand-up, and I do.
Speaker 1
I mean, sometimes you do this or you do this. That's funny.
I don't know. But I don't know, a thousand times?
Speaker 1
Well, maybe. What did you say about Bobby? He used to say on lights out, and he'd be like, you do this.
Oh, on lights out, I go like this, right?
Speaker 1 But it's always just stuff to when you're delivering a joke, you want to make it look as casual and thrown away as possible. So you're just doing your
Speaker 1 thing. Was it this?
Speaker 1 Johnny, isn't that weird? Touch his face. Yeah, a lot.
Speaker 1
All right, cold mornings, holiday plans, endless to-do lists. I just want my wardrobe to be simple, Dana.
I just want pieces that look sharp, feel amazing. Makes sense, and I'll use every day.
Speaker 1
You know what I mean? That's Quince. That's it.
The best part, their pieces
Speaker 1 make effortless gifts. Also,
Speaker 1 this season, Quince nails it. $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters that feel like a treat every day.
Speaker 1
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It's nutty comfortable, all without the high-end price tag.
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Speaker 1
I've been living in their cashmere sweaters lately. They hold up beautifully even through holiday chaos.
And Quince isn't just clothes, they've got amazing options for home, bath, kitchen, and travel.
Speaker 1
Oh, yeah. I picked up a few for myself and a few to gift, and it's all stuff people actually love.
Give and get timeless holiday staples that last this season with Quince.
Speaker 1
Go to quince.com/slash fly for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.
That's q-u-in-ce-e.com/slash fly. Free shipping, 365-day returns.
Quince.com/slash fly.
Speaker 4 What's up? It's Draymond Green. I'm back for my 14th NBA season, and my podcast, The Draymond Green Show, is back too.
Speaker 4 This season, I'm breaking down games, reacting to the biggest NBA stories, and sitting down with teammates, rivals, and culture shapers. And trust me, I'm not holding back on the court or on the mic.
Speaker 4
Two new episodes every week. New segments, big conversations, real basketball talk for the real hoop heads.
Listen to and follow the Draymond Green Show wherever you get your podcast. We're back.
Speaker 4 We're better. Let's get it.
Speaker 1 Listen, Dana, if you're like me, you're like me a little bit. I think so.
Speaker 1
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Speaker 1 So that,
Speaker 1
and that's it. And the Bus Boys update, which you've been clamoring for, is.
Busboys, Theo Vaughn and David Spade. Theo Vaughn.
Of course, Theo, hey man, I got to go to that inauguration.
Speaker 1 So he went out there.
Speaker 1
I stayed. Actually, he wasn't working that day, Sunday, but he stayed because we had so much to shoot.
And, you know, it's good to have him there to add jokes and whatever.
Speaker 1 So we shot some hospital stuff. We shot, I don't want to give it all away.
Speaker 1
Geez, I can't wait to see this movie. A hospital, you're like, what could that be? They're in a hospital now? What is this? $20 million budget.
I will tell you that Theo is younger in the movie.
Speaker 1 He's like 15 when I meet him.
Speaker 1 And they cast it, cast it. Everyone says it's cast, but I'll say casted.
Speaker 1 A kid, you know, we cast a kid there.
Speaker 1 And he looks sort of like Kelly from the old Bad News Bears, you know, that kid on the motorcycle. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Super cool kid, very nice kid, Gavin. And
Speaker 1
he's super good looking. And I go, Theo, because I go, I'll let you pick the kid.
You know, I'll stay out of that process.
Speaker 1
I said, there's no way he picked this. male model to play you.
It looks nothing like you. He goes, no, man, a little bit.
You can tell.
Speaker 1
I go, this is the most hysterical thing because you should have picked some dirty little mud goat roper with your little hair and just kind of looks like you a mini version. No chance.
No chance.
Speaker 1 This guy's like,
Speaker 1 but the kid was good.
Speaker 1 And I got to work with the kid and then
Speaker 1 Theo waited around to sort of help with that. Then he scrammed out on a red eye.
Speaker 1 And then, of course, he's hanging with the guy they're sort of in a spillover room because jake paul or tyson all the cool guys all the all that uh
Speaker 1 film 100 of the time themselves squad so he was with those guys but they he's in like metal chairs and then he fell down and that was one thing but i don't know if that was a setup or not i don't even know if he knows but It's just something goofy that happens.
Speaker 1 And
Speaker 1
the anog. Well, this can just, that's really the update on that.
It's just been hard, and I'm, I'll bitch about it 24 hours a day, but it's super fun.
Speaker 1 The movie. And
Speaker 1 also the Inag. Any thoughts of the ANOG?
Speaker 1 The ANOG was a barn burner.
Speaker 1 Trump went full Trump 3.0.
Speaker 1 God, the guys on both batteries are charged. That dude can.
Speaker 1 He's five hours a night, and then he's talking about all the stuff he's going to do. And then he's just in the Oval Office signing order after order with inviting the press in.
Speaker 1 So he's doing a press conference while he's signing.
Speaker 1 Dude, you got four years. You don't have to draw the first day.
Speaker 1
And then he had some woman who was kind of, you know, asking, you know, you're really going to deport all these people. We got to do it.
We don't have a choice. So we don't have a country.
Speaker 1 And then he just keeps signing, you know. And then he told them.
Speaker 1
I like that. I think he should read it.
Does he read them first? You know, you get a contract. You say you should check it out.
Speaker 1
I think they did all that ahead of of time, I'm guessing, because he's like, What's this one? Guatemala. Oh, yeah, Guatemala.
Yeah, called Trumpamala. The border, you know, deregulation.
Speaker 1 We're going to drill, baby, drill.
Speaker 1
And, you know, he was just, I'd never seen a human being like that. Now I'm just observing him as a human being.
Like,
Speaker 1 he is 78.
Speaker 1
I guess he slept four hours, had a 20-hour day. I mean, he was doing that.
He did all day long. Then he goes to three galas, three balls,
Speaker 1 dances, talks.
Speaker 1
I'm nervous if I have five lines in the movie the next day. This guy is going to be present the next day.
Doesn't matter if he sleeps or not. Wakes up going full blast all day,
Speaker 1
eating McDonald's, drinking Diet Coke. And he's got the Diet Coke button in his back.
He has a button just for Diet Coke, so he doesn't have to say it. All I need is push.
I got what?
Speaker 1 I just want these guys.
Speaker 1
But also, he is slower now, and he's not running anymore. So now he's like, is what's going on? He slowed it down.
And you were right.
Speaker 1 Right.
Speaker 1
Well, he definitely during the inaugural address, for him, he was very mellow and tame. He's turned sideways a little bit sometimes.
He looks, I think he's reading
Speaker 1
those clear glass prompters, which I don't know if everyone knows. He's got speeches written, but you can't see them.
Yeah. It's very weird.
Very interesting.
Speaker 1
Everybody uses them, teleprompters that are invisible kind of to the audience. They're unreal.
They're kind of invisible. And he's like just kind of leaning over there.
And
Speaker 1 anything funny? Oh, I saw a photo that was funny about Melania's hat.
Speaker 1 Yeah. That's funny, right?
Speaker 1 God, look at her. She looks really sturdy and stiff and like
Speaker 1 ready to go. Very pretty.
Speaker 1
I kind of like this look. There was a lot of good looks there.
I just give her a lot of credit because she's making a statement. That's a very potent look.
Speaker 1 And then she's very serious, but then all of a sudden she'll smile and her face completely changes and she's super charming and trump was saying when she's mad at me she calls me sir and then he goes i gotta tell people that i'm kidding or they'll just be going crazy on it and then she smiled about that and then she put on a gown and it's it is show business i mean donald trump was you know the real estate developer and then he did have the show
Speaker 1 um
Speaker 1
for eight years. Yeah.
And so he's a television guy. You know, we'll go there.
And I think he made a choice, which is kind of smart.
Speaker 1
You don't go gray. You don't go gray.
I keep it blondish, you know. And then all of them have teeth that are incredible.
Like, you got to have the white teeth. You got to be tan.
You can't be pale.
Speaker 1
You got to have an orange glow. And he's kept it.
And somehow I thought, like, he would, his genetics say yellow, broken teeth, super pale skin, and just a little wisp of gray hair.
Speaker 1 He'd be like Bernie Sanders, except so so he's showing
Speaker 1
Bernie. Bernie's on fire.
It shows you that we are all aged different.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1
Bernie Sanders. I could do him now because I'm with my cold.
But yeah,
Speaker 1
he speaks very well with a lot of. I have a personal question about Donald Trump, which you may answer.
I will answer and I'll in five seconds. Okay.
Do you think
Speaker 1 with that
Speaker 1 diet and that pressure, does he dump never
Speaker 1 once a week or six times a day? This is a real question. This is what the press should be asking.
Speaker 1
When does he have time to take a dump? He's on full blast all day. Camera.
All you know is that if you asked him, I'm regular, I'm regular, like you wouldn't believe it's not a problem down there.
Speaker 1 It's not a problem.
Speaker 1 Nobody has a bowel move.
Speaker 1 You know, that's what his answer would be. He would never say, well, you know, when they show what your turd should look like, I look like the best one, mine are the best turds.
Speaker 1 I let them loose and I get them out
Speaker 1
and I get them out. I get them out early.
I get them out early and I get them out.
Speaker 1 They float when they're supposed to float or they sink, whatever the better one is. That's what they do.
Speaker 1 He's, I know somebody who knows Rudolph Giuliani, this is years ago, and I asked him about Trump and Rudolph Giuliani said, he's unclassifiable.
Speaker 1 He's like a rare insect. Like there, the Trump
Speaker 1 doesn't make sense. That kind of energy eating Kentucky fried chicken, burgers, shakes, fries, filet of fish, and diet coke all day long.
Speaker 1
Probably weighs 275 pounds. So, yeah, he's a one-off.
What the hell? I will say it was a little shocking.
Speaker 1 I know everyone pardons everyone on the way out, but some of those pardons were a little that last night in the middle of the night, crazy, huh?
Speaker 1 Which ones were they? You mean? Well, Fauci was really.
Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 Biden got,
Speaker 1
yeah, the Biden crime family, they call it. Like, he did all of them.
I didn't even know there was that many in the family. You know, I thought maybe James.
Oh, the whole family tree shows up.
Speaker 1 I know it was like an ad for ancestry.com. If you believe Fox News, they all got checks.
Speaker 1
Well, something happened because everyone is, they can do whatever. Can you rob a bank now? Or is it, it doesn't matter.
It's just a certain crime.
Speaker 1 I think a pardon is a pardon from a president, but Fauci must be relieved. No, he's fucking clicking his heels.
Speaker 1
I don't know what they, yeah. I mean, he was shaking his boots a little bit there, especially because if it's the next day, he could be in trouble.
Oh, man.
Speaker 1 He kind of said it was sort of semantics when he was up in Congress. You know, Senator, I have never,
Speaker 1 we have never, the NIH has never funded gain of function in the Wuhan thing. And he meant later it was, there's different kinds of gain of function because there's emails him talking about that.
Speaker 1 So I'll give him a pass because, you know, I kind of like the guy.
Speaker 1 He's a he's a pistol that guy who fauci yeah anybody's he's uh highest was the highest paid government employee and we know from just show business just anyone who's the head of a corporation for 40 years has sharp elbows it's a game of thrones there he's still the head guy in his 80s i mean you that means you know it's like nancy pelosi she's never going she broke her hip and she's already walking you know she's they don't want to let go of that power i get it does fauci still have any job what does he do does he do anything over there anymore?
Speaker 1
No, he ironically got long COVID. He's just nowhere.
No, I don't know.
Speaker 1
I don't know. I think he.
Looks like he got short COVID. I think he's retired.
Well, he's going to write a book. That's what they all do.
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 Hang on. The famous lip reader girl translated what Obama leaned over and said to
Speaker 1
oh, Obama leaned over to George Bush and said, I sent it to Greg. How do we stop this thing? Yeah.
Something like that. That's what a lip lip reader said.
Speaker 1 You can pull it up.
Speaker 1 We're on the you know, here.
Speaker 1 I did see that in a paper this morning.
Speaker 1
Lip reading is not a perfect science, but it's fun to watch. It's pretty close, according to the movie 2001 of Space Odyssey.
I saw an advanced today, and I'm like,
Speaker 1 that was the AI reading.
Speaker 1 The girl that reads the lips is partially deaf, you said? I think she must be.
Speaker 1
Okay. Oh, here's the bit.
Okay.
Speaker 1 This is on
Speaker 1 TikTok. Okay.
Speaker 1
There we go. Thank you.
Good to see you. Yep.
Thank you. How can we stop what's happening? How can we stop what's happening? I think that might be right.
Okay.
Speaker 1 It's hard because it was a side angle. Yeah.
Speaker 1 She does side lips too.
Speaker 1
But whatever George W. Bush, like Michelle loved him.
He'd give her mints and stuff. And when they go to funerals, they'd meet up.
They like
Speaker 1 yeah, and you know, they like both of them, but they like him because he's funny. He's got that frat boy fun energy how you doing hey hey brock you know
Speaker 1 so by the way that was shown on tick tock i don't know if the tick tock
Speaker 1 tick tock
Speaker 1 tick tockalypse
Speaker 1 got your way not bad tick tocalipse oh did you hear about it didn't trump reinstate it for now it shut down for about
Speaker 1 not even 24 hours maybe 12 or something 12 and everyone had a fucking shit fit everyone went bazootis
Speaker 1 Everyone's like,
Speaker 1
I get it. I get it.
We talked about it last week, but it's back. I don't know how long, but it's back for at least what 90 days.
So
Speaker 1 get your TikToks in. Yeah, I mean, for me, I just
Speaker 1
kind of feel like I need a break. It's winter.
I want to go south. So there's an island off of Cuba.
I can't remember the name, but it's in the Gulf of America. Yeah.
And
Speaker 1 yeah.
Speaker 1 And I'm going down. I'm going to fly down the Gulf of America and and go to this island.
Speaker 1 Are you going to go to the
Speaker 1
where do you cross over there? Not the Suez Canal. What's it called? Panama Canal? Panama.
Is it called America Canal? Let's have a presidential scholar as well on our podcast.
Speaker 1
I want to know about executive orders and the power of them for Democrats and Republicans. It seems like there's no Congress.
It was going to do this. It's really like 5,000.
The president says so.
Speaker 1 You know, I mean, so I'd love to know where that's going and what does it mean. But yeah.
Speaker 1 I remember that when they I didn't know much about executive orders. They just kept saying, oh, Biden can close the, close the border with one executive order, but they're not doing it.
Speaker 1
They want to vote on it. They want to do a whole rigmarole about it.
Is that true?
Speaker 1 There's a lot of different regulations that Trump put on the border and Biden rescinded them sincerely.
Speaker 1 Now Trump wants to put back remain in Mexico. So you come to the border, they arraign you, yada, dad, dada, but you got to go back and wait in Mexico as opposed to wait in the U.S.
Speaker 1
And so I guess that's back. I don't know.
But where do you wait in the U.S.? Do you wait over the border and somewhere holding, or is it like
Speaker 1 you'll have an arraignment and then we'll see you later? I don't think they have follow-up or anything.
Speaker 1
And then it's the honor system. Yeah.
Okay. Okay.
Let's start looking at
Speaker 1
stories. Let's see what's going on in the news.
Oh, I thought this was good. This was after the big college title game
Speaker 1 championship game. And this is the quarterback and the coach being led out, I think, to the trophy ceremony after the game.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1
Ryan Jay, you deserve it, brother. Thank you.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 It's okay. It's okay.
Speaker 1 Broken axle.
Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 She can't look at it. It's pretty bad, actually.
Speaker 1 Wow, I used to think it would bounce off. I thought it wasn't going that fast.
Speaker 1 Am I okay? Am I okay?
Speaker 1
Hysterical. So that's like the guy who just won the game, and there's a coaches and some players in there.
They're like, you got to walk from here. And it was
Speaker 1 right into a wall.
Speaker 1 Love it. Why did someone yell, you fucking deserved it?
Speaker 1 I think they meant, you deserve the win. Oh, and put
Speaker 1 it.
Speaker 1 word
Speaker 1 yeah people are you throwing that f-word around i don't like it
Speaker 1 go ahead what's the next one i could play that one
Speaker 1 you have to go it's making it worse for to go ahead and finish it out heather made me put a fucking straw in here and i'm like i don't need it she goes yeah i you do actually you do and i'm like this
Speaker 1 see me digging that goddamn straw
Speaker 1
You have a great diet. Heather keeps you, you know, gets you a little pressure.
Now, this is a sponsor.
Speaker 1 Dana,
Speaker 1 Dana, I'm observing something. I'd like to make an observation.
Speaker 1 Great diet because I can't eat because she buried the straw in the bottom.
Speaker 1
It's in quicksand. Okay, so this is a house.
Dana, could you stay in a house for an hour for $5 million?
Speaker 1
What is that, a haunted house or something? Show me the video. I would say that.
Say you could handle it?
Speaker 1
Okay, that's interesting. You said that.
$5 million net?
Speaker 5 $5 million in an hour? You just have to stay in this room for an hour to easily take home $5 million. This room, located in Seattle, USA, was built by Microsoft at a cost of 10 million for
Speaker 5 the quietest place on Earth.
Speaker 1 The lab's for this contest or what?
Speaker 1 Sounds like a razor group.
Speaker 5 The sound level inside
Speaker 5 is 20 decibels. Sitting inside, you can hear your heartbeat, lungs expanding, and even your joints moving.
Speaker 5 When the lights go out, all your senses feel as if they have been taken away, making you feel as if you are in the universe.
Speaker 5 Since the lab opened for challenges, no one has ever successfully completed it. Those who attempted the challenge averaged less than a minute.
Speaker 5 The longest record is 58 minutes and 57 seconds, and even then, the challenger almost went insane.
Speaker 5 He said that in the room, you feel an unprecedented sense of loneliness pressing down on you so hard that you can barely breathe. In the face of such a huge reward, what would you do?
Speaker 1 Well,
Speaker 1 those people are.
Speaker 1
Of course, you stay in the room. And all you do is stay now.
Exactly. It's so easy.
Well, because
Speaker 1 are you allowed?
Speaker 1 There's no rules. You can yell, right?
Speaker 1 So you distract the silence by making noise. You just go
Speaker 1 for an hour.
Speaker 1 Would you do that for $5 million? Let me see you do it.
Speaker 1 I go like this.
Speaker 1
Yeah, you turn yourself. I would sing or or something.
I would get in the fetal position like a baby and just rock myself. I wonder if you talk if it's super loud.
Speaker 1
I would just mumble them. By the way, why did they build it? What do they need it for? Yeah, what is the point? Yeah, just have a contest in.
Who built it, Mr. Beast?
Speaker 1 It reminds me of the Twilight Zone where this gentleman's club and this one guy just talks, talks, talks, talks. And then somebody says, I bet you couldn't talk for one year.
Speaker 1
I'll give you like a million dollars, like 18. One year.
one year, something like that. And so they put him in this room and he couldn't speak.
I'm thinking remembering it was a year.
Speaker 1 Didn't speak for a year.
Speaker 1 And he came out, and the guy gave him the money and said, Ha,
Speaker 1 how did you do it?
Speaker 1
And you saw that he had his slow, his throat slit, so he couldn't talk. Didn't kill him, but he had a turtle like on.
Oh,
Speaker 1 it's called a twist ending, Dave. I know.
Speaker 1 I think they paid someone to talk for a year. Whitney Cummings, you know her?
Speaker 1 Anyway. She's got a lot of words per minute, that woman.
Speaker 1 A lot of WPMs. Yeah.
Speaker 1 No, that just sounded funny, though.
Speaker 1
I'd have to research that. Quiet Room built by Microsoft.
I will.
Speaker 1 Why are they building this stupid place? The guy 90 seconds ago and couldn't suck it up for a million. They said most people can't do one minute.
Speaker 1 And most
Speaker 1
eerie feeling. Interesting.
I guess a lot of people, you know what? They don't like money.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 They don't like money.
Speaker 1 It makes everything simple when you figure out that you literally don't like money. Yeah,
Speaker 1 you want to go in there? If you like money, go in. Yeah.
Speaker 1 But what if you love money to a point where it's almost psychotic?
Speaker 1 Like you love money just
Speaker 1
to have money. I can hold it.
Look at it. And sometimes eat it in a salad.
Speaker 1 I like to rub it on my body.
Speaker 1 By the way, Gervitz, because he's such a workaholic, he goes, I drive into work every day. I still go to the office.
Speaker 1 See, some people work.
Speaker 1
And he's way out in Malibu by a Joffrey. So he's like, takes me two hours, 20 minutes, but I do it.
Two hours and 40 minutes. Last I heard.
Speaker 1
Well, believe me, I accidentally weighed it and it was about an hour of 16, but you know, fine. I'll let him puff it up.
I'll fudge the number. I'll let him have his day.
Speaker 1
I'll let you have your big, overwhelming number. You say, 240.
Everyone's like, whoa,
Speaker 1 what?
Speaker 1 By the way, my set tomorrow is an hour 30. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1 each way.
Speaker 1 Well, Wendy,
Speaker 1
what's your set tomorrow? An hour 30? What do you mean? Way the heck out because in the movie we live near the end. Oh, you're going to your set.
I thought it was stand-up.
Speaker 1 You're going to drive 90 minutes to the set. No, I'm going to do a set tonight just to practice because I haven't gone on in a while.
Speaker 1 And it's good to just bop on, but
Speaker 1 I'm just good to give the gift of my act.
Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. All right, next story.
Speaker 1
This time of year, Cozy feels like the ultimate luxury. And Bombas is making it easy to get there.
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Speaker 1
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Speaker 1
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Speaker 1
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Speaker 1
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Speaker 1 So when you treat yourself or someone else to cozy, you're spreading that warmth far beyond your own home. Head over to bombas.com slash flywall and use code flywall for 20% off your first purchase.
Speaker 1
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Give it up for Chicago.
Speaker 6 Sebastian Meniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.
Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep
Speaker 1 coming.
Speaker 6 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.
Speaker 1 You know that feeling when you're doom scrolling? I do. Suddenly an hour has gone by or a day and you feel worse than before.
Speaker 1 Been there lately. I've been swapping that habit for something that's actually inspiring and good for you, masterclass.
Speaker 1
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Speaker 1
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Speaker 1 What are the lessons like? The lessons are bite-sized. So you can fit learning into even the busiest schedule.
Speaker 1 And you can download classes to watch offline, which is perfect for travel or squeezing in a quick session anywhere. And it's not just me.
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Speaker 1
And early screening of Mission Impossible, the final wrecking reporting almost caused a heart attack for an audience member. Now, I know what this is.
I'll tell you what this is right now.
Speaker 1 Just hearing that. Okay.
Speaker 1 Hype.
Speaker 1 Okay.
Speaker 1 They have to hype it because I see in the Daily Mail,
Speaker 1
they must have some deal with Netflix because it goes, this new movie is so scary. Two people threw up in the theater and everyone's like, oh, I got to see that.
I saw the movie.
Speaker 1 And that didn't scare me at all. I thought it was fun and great.
Speaker 1 Right. And people go, oh, this movie.
Speaker 1 people were walking out, which sounds bad
Speaker 1
because they were so scared. And people are like, oh, I bet I can handle it.
And so you get people.
Speaker 1 So these kind of early things you hear about a movie, the trailer teases intense action, including submarine and aerial stunts. Well, I mean, listen, we know it's Tom Cruise.
Speaker 1
I don't want to sound like a hater because I do like these movies. I'll probably go see it.
But they're all sort of blurring into the same movie. Like,
Speaker 1 he runs here really fast. I think this is number eight.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, listen, Fast and Furious, I kind of, haven't they run run out of gas yet.
Speaker 1 Well, I had to write a new theme for myself because I saw one of these, then I saw the next one, and it was like, done, done, done, done, done, done, dun, dun, not as good,
Speaker 1 not as good.
Speaker 1 That's like a good Hollywood minute.
Speaker 1 Not as good,
Speaker 1 not the same,
Speaker 1 all the same. Seen it before,
Speaker 1
seen it once. You'll see it again.
We know. No, but
Speaker 1 they learn from Fast and Furious.
Speaker 1 Not as
Speaker 1 Seen it before. That is
Speaker 1 great.
Speaker 1 He's a bit older.
Speaker 1
Not much older. I tell you what, I would love to have Tom Cruise on this podcast.
I don't do it because it's easy. I do it because it's odd.
Because I want to understand
Speaker 1 how he is sprinting like that. Is it sped up effects?
Speaker 1 Because that's, I know he swims underwater, hangs off planes, but sprinting at 60 or whatever at 62, like they show him sprinting, is pretty extraordinary.
Speaker 1 So, in hard shoes, I bet he sneaks some skechers on under there, you know, when they do the close-ups. Dun, done, done, done, watching.
Speaker 1 Wear skechers,
Speaker 1 wear skechers.
Speaker 1
I wear skechers, they look like hard shoes. I wear them, they spray paint them black.
But go falsetto for a second for me.
Speaker 1 With something.
Speaker 1 Done, done, done, done, done, done.
Speaker 1 No reason
Speaker 1
for another Mission Impossible movie. Done, done, done.
There's
Speaker 1
a new hot chick in everyone that comes out. You will like her.
28.
Speaker 1 28. I'm 68.
Speaker 1 She's 22. She's
Speaker 1 22. And you're 75.
Speaker 1
Too much of an age gap. Too much of an age gap.
That's not even the rhythm. Too much.
No one mentions she's too young.
Speaker 1
It's great, but every woman that I know that has power is going way younger, too. So it's not just a man.
Two-way street.
Speaker 1 Get out of there. Hey, Bill Belichick.
Speaker 1
Go. Bill Belichick is great.
And I did a podcast. Him is such a nice, sweet guy.
I can see why she's like brilliant. The football.
Get in there.
Speaker 1
Between sex. Let's huddle up.
Done, done, done, done. Give it English and pause.
Speaker 1 73.
Speaker 1 21.
Speaker 1 Heart attack.
Speaker 1 Too much. Down, down, down, down, down.
Speaker 1 Check with your cardiologist. See if you can take the beating.
Speaker 1 Used to be pros. Now it's college.
Speaker 1 Because he coaches college.
Speaker 1 Why is that so funny? Because it's just information. It doesn't really even fit that.
Speaker 1 It's not a put-down. She's like, used to be a pro.
Speaker 1 Now it's college.
Speaker 1 Kind of a has-been. Sort of a has-been.
Speaker 1 Used to be pro.
Speaker 1
Now it's college. But college is not a step down.
There's college players because of NIH and all these rules that they stay in college as long as they can. Names, inmates,
Speaker 1 grandpa, no, it's my
Speaker 1 gymnas from LSU, very pretty young lady, makes four million, makes four million for going to college.
Speaker 1 He does TikTok if I tell him.
Speaker 1
I see him on TikTok. He's like, hey, Monk Oran, or whatever.
I'm like, oh, boy. Oh, boy.
Speaker 1
I'm starting to like the Trump. Dad, just this.
I like Trump, man. He comes up.
Speaker 1
He puts about as much into it as me in like a fight scene. I'm like, this, I can do this.
I don't need a stunt man. They're like,
Speaker 1
it's the funniest. Like, who would? I don't even know what Obama's dance is or Jimmy Carter's was or any of these presidents.
All the girls want Obama, that's for sure.
Speaker 1 Rumors of trouble in paradise. I don't repeat rumors, but
Speaker 1 He came so low. What is the deal?
Speaker 1
Separation. Trial separation.
Where is she?
Speaker 1
Time apart. See if it's better for both of them.
Trial separation.
Speaker 1 Is Heather laughing or we're just punchy?
Speaker 1 She's kind of quietly laughing. Will Heather do one? Can you hand her a mic? Yeah, Heather, yell one.
Speaker 1 What theme? Bump, bum, bump, bump, bump, bump, bum, bump.
Speaker 1
Thank you for bringing back TikTok. It's a joke going right on.
Oh, he says.
Speaker 1 They're thinking Obama.
Speaker 1 It's like a diss to Trump.
Speaker 1
No, I'm actually thinking President Obama. They skip right over Public Observatory.
Oh, they try to say that Obama fixed TikTok because
Speaker 1
it's sophisticated. A joke within a joke.
It's good. It was a good swing, and you don't have a microphone, so you had to lock one one against it.
But I understand.
Speaker 1 What was the thing where who's the speaker? Mike, somebody, Mike Johnson.
Speaker 1
Have you seen when he talks about meeting with Biden? He goes, sir, why did you do this? He goes, I didn't do that. He goes, yes, you did.
And he goes, I said, we'll look into it.
Speaker 1
And he goes, no, you did do. You did sign that bill.
And he goes, who's there?
Speaker 1 Geez, he's gone downhill even since I did him on SNL. I know.
Speaker 1
When he's at the inauguration, he's just staring in his face with his wife, Jill, and he's like, This, I like this guy. She's like, No, you don't.
It's Trump. He goes, Oh, I don't.
Speaker 1 I'll tell you one thing.
Speaker 1 Because that was in the
Speaker 1
indoors and they placed Biden and Mrs. Biden, Joe Biden, right next to each other, right over Trump's shoulder.
And he's just giving him the biggest beatdown. It's been a total disaster.
Speaker 1 And Biden is looking down, itching his face, like, this? Talk about
Speaker 1
it. What is he talking about? That guy sounds like a real jerk.
We're going to take our country back. We're going to take it back.
We all know how to take it back. Everybody sees it.
Speaker 1 Everybody's talking about it.
Speaker 1 And we're taking it back.
Speaker 1 And Biden and they took a beat down, man. It was, it was for the ages.
Speaker 1 All right. Next story.
Speaker 1 We beat out.
Speaker 1 I guess I'm going to retire the mission impossible thing.
Speaker 1 Unless it comes up again.
Speaker 1 We can always bring it up.
Speaker 1
It'll never, ever go totally away. All right.
Good morning. Good morning.
This is a U.S. Naval Recruiting Office in Alhambra.
That's right around here. Okay, play it.
Speaker 1 They are Asian, you wouldn't think so. Okay, so every recruiter here is Chinese, as well as all the people coming to a list unless the working language
Speaker 1 is Chinese. This was filmed by
Speaker 1 a Chinese YouTuber.
Speaker 1 So there, you can turn it off. It's too loud.
Speaker 1 And I don't know Chinese as well as I thought I did. Is that Mandarin, Dana?
Speaker 1 Is that just mean Chinese?
Speaker 1 I guess it's a dialect in China. Yeah, I was, I went with my wife because
Speaker 1 my feet are kind of gnarly i know you're a bath guy you're a bubble bath i used yeah i still do you're a bubble bath guy so you can reach and see and you wash your feet intentionally but i don't take baths so i'm in a shower and i don't have nowhere to put my foot so my feet are gnarly so i went to a
Speaker 1 nowhere to put my foot what's well if i'm trying to clean my feet and stuff you're gonna lift up oh you don't have a step or something not really and then i can't i'm not wearing readers in the shower.
Speaker 1
So I'm Mr. Magoo in there.
You don't know where your feet are? Long story short, I go to a place, they call it a mani petty. You know all this because you're a metrosexual.
A manipetty.
Speaker 1
Manicure, pedicure. Pedicure is the hands.
I don't do that. But they're doing my feet, and they're incredibly charming people from somewhere in Asia.
Set it up.
Speaker 1 So I said, How do you say thank you in Mandarin? And she said, Ah,
Speaker 1 we are Vietnamese, you know.
Speaker 1 And I go, fuck me. And they go,
Speaker 1 that means hello in Vietnamese.
Speaker 1 Fuck me. No, I asked her, What is thank you in Vietnamese? She said, come on, come on.
Speaker 1
Come on. Come on.
Let's come and get some. No, she's just like, come on.
You got to do the accent. Come on.
She goes, you're doing it right. A lot of people come in and say, come on.
Speaker 1
You're like, American accent. You're best.
So I say, you know, you say thank you. You go, rack them.
Speaker 1 That is my many petty story. That is my man.
Speaker 1 Not really interesting.
Speaker 1 Well, the Navy's going to have some Chinese people, so that's good or bad.
Speaker 1
I don't know if they're allowed to get up. The American Navy is going to have foreign nationals in their military.
No. It seems like it.
Really? From that video, it just seemed like it.
Speaker 1
I don't know. Can't we all get along? I'm an old hippie.
We're going to get along.
Speaker 1
I don't want a war. Me neither.
I hate it. What is this? A guy with pants on or a towel or what?
Speaker 1 Let's play it.
Speaker 5 This is a $900 towel skirt imagined by Balenciaga who manipulates a belt and button closure to bring shower and stuff.
Speaker 1 He has to rub his wiener on the way down.
Speaker 1 This is a $900.
Speaker 1
So this guy has clothes on. You get out of a shower and you put that on so it won't fall down.
It's a towel with a button. No, you wear it out.
Speaker 5 It's a shower new clothing.
Speaker 1 It's clothing. It's like a skirt.
Speaker 1
It's like a skirt. And you put it on outside and walk around.
It's It's like when Dana's like, what the fuck is going on in the world? Okay. Yes, and it's expensive.
$900 towel comes with a button.
Speaker 1
That's great. $900 to put a button on a towel.
Call it a skirt. Okay.
Speaker 1 I'm in the wrong biz. That's a good business plan, you know.
Speaker 1 Crisection. Kat and I are doing.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 How much was it? $900?
Speaker 1 Balenciaga. I like that Balenciaga got in trouble for some sketchy stuff and they're back full swing nobody gives a fat buck anymore
Speaker 1 yeah there's no more cancel culture kind of right or i mean unless it's harvey weinstein or something that's a that's a good one but he's he's literally grandfathered in
Speaker 1 uh okay what's another one do we have any other ones Oh, how would you like to be skiing and this happens? This is really worst case scenario.
Speaker 1 You're skiing, you're on the lift, this is going to be a great day.
Speaker 1 Go ahead.
Speaker 1 a freezing geyser of
Speaker 1 water, and you can't move. Look at the guy's kicking his legs.
Speaker 1 What do you do, Dana? A freezing guy.
Speaker 1
Well, it's freezing water on your snow, so it's freezing as it hits you, literally, freezing. I would have to jump off.
I'd have to find some way out. I couldn't take it.
Speaker 1 Well, first of all, for the people driving, so you're just going down a ski lift. Apparently, the ski lift stops, and then there's a broken mane or something and
Speaker 1 ice cold water is spraying up on you and freezing on your body and they're just hanging there. What happened? Did they jump or?
Speaker 1 I don't know. TikTok didn't tell me the rest.
Speaker 1 Hmm. Would you jump? Would it be safe to jump? I saw one where the ski lift went on five times as fast and people were.
Speaker 1 whipping around at the bottom and it just throws them off and everyone's jumping back going, what are you doing? People are coming in there going, jump off.
Speaker 1
And then it goes, kadoosh, you know, that on that hairpin, and it just flips them backwards, upside down, and people are flying. That one's gnarly.
We'll play that next week.
Speaker 1 Danglers are kind of funny. I'm not really into danglers.
Speaker 1 You know, I always get a little nervous when I'm dangling, you know, like you just if you're on some amusement park ride that's going up, and you just have this little thing.
Speaker 1 But I would say, have you ever been on a tram and it's like 2,000 feet down,
Speaker 1
and even though you know the odds are in your favor, you're like, I'll be glad when we get to the base camp. Sure, yeah, I'll tell you this.
When you see these people, like, let's say this,
Speaker 1 and they say, it was like that for 11 minutes, or they were dangling upside down a roller coaster and they got saved after 40 minutes. In your head, you think, I could probably take 40 minutes out.
Speaker 1
But when you're there, there's no time limit. You don't know that yet.
So in your head, you're spinning out going, this could be three days. Can I live?
Speaker 1 But when you hear later, they were saved and the timeframe. Maybe
Speaker 1 Maybe I could do that long, but you don't know. I've told you this before, I think, but maybe only once.
Speaker 1 I was somewhere doing a corporate date, and then I was going to christen a roller coaster, but it was gigantic. It was like Magic Mountain on Acid.
Speaker 1 And I'm watching it upside down and turning and going like a pretzel in the sky, you know, like a five-mile loop.
Speaker 1
And then I'm going, okay, I'll do it. You know, all right, fine.
And then they go, the temperature just dropped too much. you can't go.
So, of course, to be a hero, I said, Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 I want on that thing now, but anyway, I didn't have to do this silly thing, you are never gonna because if it goes up and then if it freezes upside down, then they've got to get the hook and ladder, and you just have it ruins your not a chance in the world.
Speaker 1
I would do that. I'm such a magnanimous puss dandelion, I could not be upside down.
I don't know. I well, I'm trying to calm down most of my life.
I'm not looking for
Speaker 1 you know, thrill rides at this point of my existence. I'd rather be on a seaside chateau with a cocktail looking at the seals playing on the beach.
Speaker 1 My Mandula oblongata getting slapped around my head and my C5.
Speaker 1 You get enough adrenaline rush from just walking out on a stage and stand-up all the time. I get adrenaline from Seeing that the fires are contained.
Speaker 1 They're not even fully contained, the regular ones. Now we got this new mother effer out there.
Speaker 1 All right, we can wrap up, Dana. Let me see.
Speaker 1
So hopefully, the next fly in the wall or podcast, I will not hurt this disease. You were fine, Dana.
No one has any complaints. It's just when you cough a lot over a period of days.
Speaker 1
It's kind of sore. I'm not complaining.
A lot of people have it worse than the world, but it's a little bit uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 When we get off the air, I'll ask you if you have any extra codeing cough SERP and then I'll drive up there three hours just to get it's the one thing I'm allergic to. No, we get it anyway.
Speaker 1 I've got stocking stuff for me.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I have stuff I've
Speaker 1 just got to do. It just hasn't kicked in yet.
Speaker 1 That's all. Anyway, don't hide, divide.
Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1 Don't be tight.
Speaker 1 Splurge on the urge to emerge.
Speaker 1 You know what? I learned in school how to share. Okay.
Speaker 1
All right. So, Dana.
I learned a lot
Speaker 1 in cartoons. What's up, Doc?
Speaker 1
Yeah, what's up, Doc? So we've learned a lot. Okay, thanks, everybody, for listening and watching.
And we're going to have some guests coming up pretty soon. We're going to explore AI and Bitcoin.
Speaker 1 We have a lot of questions for these people. So stay tuned.
Speaker 1
This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly. It's executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.
Hope you liked it.