Bonus Giggly Hotline: burritos, zaddys, and gossip

Okay, I'm literally sweating.

I actually want to put this refresher like on my neck.

Paige never sweats, so this is incredible.

This is happening.

Wait, that looks so good.

We've been chugging our Dunkin' refreshers.

I don't think you can overdose.

I looked into it.

I just love that you can customize it because, you know, like we don't like to play by the room.

You love customizing.

Oh my God, I go off.

But I wasn't that like insane kid that would go the soda machine and put all of it in.

And that's why your mom started watering down your drinks.

Yeah, because I would like be bashing my head against the wall so much energy.

But yeah, kids who did that now are

someone check on them.

Someone check on them.

But I'm excited because now we're doing extra episodes and the girls have written in and called in and asked their advice questions.

So we're going to be able to do that.

We love, love hearing from the gigglers because we forget that people listen.

We just yap, yep, yep, yep, yep.

And now we realize, like, oh my God, there's, there is so much more to the conversation.

Thank you for coming to our news network.

Let's have some call-ins.

Grace, you can begin.

And thank you to Duncan for keeping us not only hydrated, refreshed, but making these episodes possible.

Hey, Hannah and Paige.

My name's Jess.

I'm 32 years old and I'm currently going through a divorce.

The divorce has been going on for about two years and within that time, I've met myself a Zaddie and he's 46 years old.

We've been dating a year and a half.

But the problem is, I haven't met any of his family.

He comes from a Portuguese family.

He's also going through a divorce.

He tells me his mother hates me and doesn't want to meet me, won't accept that he's dating me.

And I sometimes even wonder if that's true or maybe they just don't know about me at all.

And I'm slightly getting the ick because he's 46 and allowing his mother to kind of tell him how to live his life.

So I'm wondering if I should stick it out and continue on with the relationship or if after a year and a half, it's too long to have not met the family, even his kids, anyone in the family, as a matter of fact.

So any advice is greatly appreciated.

Oh, and also my ex-husband is dating a girl with my same exact name, but she spells it with a K, which basically tells you all you need to know about her.

Thanks.

I'm obsessed with her.

I'm obsessed with her.

She's like, he literally can't get over me.

Wait, wait, now I'm thinking what the name is.

Wait, it's so chic to be like 32 and be like, my ex-husband.

Like, I just, it's so rich.

I love it.

Like, I love it.

I'm actually mad I didn't get married just to be like, my ex-husband.

My ex-husband.

Also, it's like, you already did the married thing.

No one's like, when are you going to get married?

You're like, I've been married.

Yeah, when are you going to get divorced?

She's like, I love being single.

Marriage was fine.

She's got to scramble.

Yes.

I support Zaddies.

Like, I I love you girls, especially because a lot of you are so socially aware and smart and mature.

I love you with an older man.

So this pains me to say,

at first, I thought maybe you're not meeting the parents because it's a situation like Des where both of his parents are dead,

which we love.

One could only hope.

One could only hope.

It's so peaceful.

The holidays,

no fights.

I'm like, maybe we should go to my parents.

I don't know.

But his parents sound like they're alive.

Yeah.

The fact that he could ever say, even if his mom said, I fucking hate her.

Yeah.

Don't ever, ever add that poison to the relationship.

It's giving some type of manipulation, and I don't know what he was getting at by even letting you in on that information.

I'm

saying, yeah, I'm the one that will lie and be like, no, my mom really loves you.

And she'll be like, if you don't break up with him tomorrow, I'm going to blow my brains out.

We don't like him.

It sounds like you both needed a rebound

and you both have great chemistry and and it's fun, but like, I feel like the right guy wants to introduce you to his family pretty early.

It's also impossible to dislike someone you've never met.

It's actually literally impossible.

That's crazy.

I think that's crazy.

And I get that like divorce is very nuanced.

It's very unique.

So maybe it was like he was from a religious family.

They didn't love that he got divorced.

They didn't love that he was already dating.

But

it's too long now.

A year and a half is too long.

I do have to say, though, one of my friends who got divorced, she started dating a guy and want, it was very early on and wanted to introduce him to the parents.

And her parents were like, we're just recovered from the divorce.

Like, let's not.

But it also was only a couple months in.

Six months, fine.

This is a year and a half.

Yeah.

And I think this is a nice guy to, you're dating.

There's also so much pressure on the first meeting already.

Like, cut your losses.

He's not for you.

And if you break up with him and he's like, I can't live without you and like somehow does this 180 okay maybe but i i don't think i think he's giving you a lot of excuses yeah i just don't want you to be in any relationship where you feel like you're not enough because you are and also so true 46 years old and he's like let me ask my mom get a grip no no no no i love it we're like we tell everyone to break up

light him on fire didn't even hear the story we're like break up

Question about getting gossipy.

How do you get your man to be better at retrieving gossip?

He has such great access to info, but does not ask the questions.

Is this even possible?

I love him because he's unbothered, but I remain bothered.

I must know.

All things are possible if you just practice.

You have to train them like the Olympics.

Before they go to said event in which they could get gossip, you have to structure it like a three-year-old.

You have to text them the questions you want them to ask.

So like, and when did they break up?

And is he seeing anyone new?

And you have to send that in to them so they have something to look at.

They need notes.

Yes.

Also, if you're going to a social situation, it's like a game to them.

Like, they love the drama of ESPN.

This is the drama of this dinner.

This girl said this about my friend.

Once he knows about it, he's in.

It's like reality TV where guys are like, I don't like reality TV.

And then they're like, why did she say that to that girl?

And then they're like, what happens next?

So you just got to get them engaged.

I do have to say, gossip.

is important for bonding.

It's connective tissue.

Connective tissue.

And you have to be in a room and look over to him and him know exactly what you're dealing with.

Also, like, you know, when you were little and before you would go somewhere, your mom would be like, now, when we get there, you say hi, Mr.

and Mrs., and whatever their last name is, you look them in the, like, they would give you pointers and you'd be like, oh yeah, I forgot that.

Like, okay.

You have to do that also with your boyfriend or husband before you go somewhere.

Like, okay, now remember, we don't like her and we like her and like they're fighting.

So if you have an opportunity, get in there.

You know?

You know what's funny?

Des is the one, I think it's because he's a Scorpio.

He has such good character awareness where like we'll leave something and I'm like, they were great.

And he's like, really?

Really?

And then, so he's the one who gets me.

Yeah.

But what men are good at too, which sounds like your guy is good at, is if I'm ruminating on something,

I call you.

or my mom or a friend to just like rehash a situation where he'll be like, and we're done here.

Yeah.

He'll be like, and it's not that serious.

We're done.

I've heard enough.

Move on.

Let's get to another thing.

You're like, but I have seven more scenarios I came up with.

Let's just run those really quick.

Sorry, I have a hobby.

Yeah.

Like, what do you want me to do with my time?

Scroll TikTok?

I'm figuring shit out right now.

So it's really just a matter of training.

Yeah, a matter of training.

Practice makes perfect.

Oh, I also

was doing some recon with an Uber driver.

And we were chatting, and I was asking about the job.

And he said,

all the time when couples get into the car or friends they always just talk about whoever they were with yeah isn't that crazy

humanity it's crazy yeah they talk about the couple like but it makes me want to be an ubertar

like an undercover yeah it also made me think about therapists like i know there's like serious intense work

and it's you're a doctor a lot of time but sometimes but you get to hear the tea yeah but i guess that's how like Like, how as a therapist, do you have the restraint to not be like, let me just see what they look like?

Really?

Like, let me just hop on Instagram and see the picture of this man.

How do you not start asking follow-up questions that don't have to do with like mental health?

Because I feel like in my earlier 20s, there would have been so many therapists that would have seen a picture and been like, okay, let me rework this.

What are we doing?

I was going to say, they're like, is he like hot?

Like, how would you describe him?

Like, how hot is he?

Because it depends on the advice I'll give you.

The visuals are important.

Yeah.

So anyway, talking shit.

And also, shout out.

Caroline Banowitz is one of my friends

who is a hilarious comedian.

And she posted about Love Island about talking shit.

And she was like, I'm totally fine with people talking shit, but whatever happened to like Sending in the group chat, why are we all posting online like hatred for like an episode of a character?

Bring back journaling.

Bring back gossiping one-on-one.

No.

Bring back getting a coffee.

No, literally bring back.

Can't wait to tell you this when I get home.

yes like we're in the comfort of our home bring back no paper trail

like say it don't spray it

sorry page

say it don't spray it that was a callback from off camera but if you guys are here you'd get it literally say it don't spray it like i don't

okay what's next

Oh, one more thing.

If you're dating someone, you will run out of stories.

You have to get new gossip.

Yeah.

Because, like, you'll only last like two months with your classics.

You know, you can tell when they run out of the classics.

And sometimes you're like, wow, we've been hating on this person for two hours now.

Like, got anyone else?

Like, sometimes I get sick of myself.

I'm like, okay, how much can we go on?

I was originally talking about someone, and my friend was like, they're the kind of person that's really fun at the beginning.

And then they start to run out of stories.

And you're kind of like, we get the shtick.

Yeah.

So anyway, you got to get creative out there.

Did you know that this one has B vitamins in it?

Wait, no.

That's why I've been answering the questions like so quickly.

Because you're so much smarter.

I'm so much smarter.

I'm feeling just like energized and refreshed.

So just get on my level.

And keep sending us your summer stories at gigglysummer.com.

We love reading them and they've honestly been making us giggle.

Giggle.

Keep sending and if we pick yours, you can win our free Dunkin' goodies.

We love this like merch collab we did with them.

Hi, Paige.

Hi, Hannah.

Let me tell you a quick story about a summertime day, early 20s,

college days.

So here I was.

We lived in this apartment complex.

Me and like six of my girlfriends.

Three of us slept in one apartment, three of us slept in the other, right next door to each other.

We're at the pool like most of the day.

We get this idea.

We're like, let's get tattoos.

Great idea.

We're like, don't really know what to do.

We decided that just to get like shapes that we liked, like clip art shapes, perfect.

I get a star.

We're driving back to our apartment in my Dodge Neon.

I wasn't driving at the time.

Someone else had the privilege of driving the Dodge Neon.

And so we're driving back and we're like on this main drag in our hometown.

Anyway, we're like, we see this car of boys and we're like kind of flirting with them, like going back and forth,

and we're like, you know, at a stoplight, we're like, hey, like, whatever.

And then, you know, we're going back and forth.

And at each stoplight, so like every stoplight, it was like a red light.

And we're like, oh my gosh, this is crazy.

Like every single stoplight.

So at the last stoplight, before we're about to turn, we're like, okay, should we like exchange numbers with them or something?

Should we?

So we like stop and we're like, hey, and like everybody rolls down their windows and we're like, do you want to like exchange numbers or whatever?

They throw a full-on freaking Chipotle burrito into our windows, like and it exploded.

I kid you not.

This thing explodes in the car.

So we have like freaking cilantro lime rice like all up in our hair, like sour cream, fresco salsa, corn salsa everywhere.

You cannot imagine the mess this made.

Anyway, uh, worst day ever, summer memories, love them, college, woo, bye.

I literally need a burrito now.

Well, I was gonna say,

how dare you disrespect the burrito in that fashion?

Like

it's so much.

While simultaneously

committing a crime

also i would have ate it i would have been like oh um what's also that's a salt

also burritos are like four pounds have you finished you're like yeah put an extra rice god forbid they got a double wrap i mean that's a literal bread if you got extra ground beef i mean you're done for um what's it called when you get like a fancy thing that's taken apart that they call in a fancy restaurant like a deconstructed it's a deconstruction burrito and you can eat it side note I had it actually had a burrito yesterday and I was looking at it and I was like I feel like I finally know how men feel when they see a girl with like a nice ass because I was like that shit

like it was like it was like I'm gonna just squeeze it yeah like I was like I just want to I want to smell it I want not to touch it and I was like it's sick you literally felt like a creep I was like get that burrito away from me I'm acting a fool what did the tattoo have to do with it

I was really waiting for something at the tattoo place to happen.

And then she was like, and now we're in the car.

I'm like, so what was that even part?

She could have just been like, we're in the car.

We're flirting with these guys.

Like, with the whole bags, or also the fact that six of them lived in one apartment complex, three and three.

I love the gigglers because it's like, what was that detail?

This is the thing.

She loved giving details.

Yeah.

And she was consistent with them.

Like, she didn't leave us guessing on anything.

She needs to tutor the other girl's boyfriend in gossip.

She's like, these are the details we need.

Yes, she needs to meet that boyfriend, do a literal masterclass with him about how to give the gossip.

Yeah.

That was really good.

I thought maybe something was going to happen where like the burrito hit the tattoo and it like got like what was the conversation in the boys car

like oh my god you know it would be so funny like what that is so funny also who's burrito there's definitely there was definitely like a jeremy in there being like well i was gonna eat that

that was literally 20 i don't want burrito bro i literally told you i didn't have breakfast this morning i i love that one car, the girls are like, I think my husband could be in this car.

She's like, so imagine.

Imagine telling my grandchildren that at a stop sign,

I met my guy.

Wait, we both like cilantro.

Do you know how rare that is?

But then the guys are literally like, what if?

I'm impressed that they got the burrito through the window.

Yeah.

But again, Chris, why would a guy do that?

I think for the exact reason that you just said, it's just dumb idiot guys.

They're trying to show off for each other.

That's the problem.

When men are in a group,

they want to fuck each other more than they want to fuck girls.

So they're like, I'd rather think Jeremy thinks I'm cool than that girl.

You ever seen a group of guys around one really rich guy?

It's one of the craziest things I've ever experienced.

It's literally like piranhas.

I'm like, why don't you guys just take your pants off?

And they're like, wait, I really like that tie.

Where'd you get that tie?

And then he's like telling bad jokes and they're all like, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

But once, no, this last week, I saw like a group of teenage boys and they were like all these cute girls on the corner.

Yeah.

And I was like, go to the corner.

There's all these girls there, but they were too busy.

Like, what generation is that even?

Gen Alpha?

Like, maybe, it was like 18-year-olds, which honestly, I was terrified.

iPad kids are scary.

I could take one of them, but like when they're in a crew coming in, they're swift.

Going through puberty?

They're not.

Yeah, they're shifty.

Yeah.

They looked like they were going to bully me.

Yeah.

They were going to call me men.

I cross the street.

If I see a group of kids or a group of men

crossing the street,

if they have a vehicle with them.

The kids with a bike are not gonna be trusted.

They can't begins going so fast.

Little punks.

I'll trip them.

I'll trip them.

And then they can't even see with like that hairstyle they have.

Thank you for bringing it in.

It's like a mom.

What is the hairstyle that the tween teen boys are doing?

It's a thing.

Like they go in, they're like, let me get the side.

It doesn't look good.

For some reason, our back in the day, guys had like a little flip in the front.

Do you remember that?

It was tasteful.

It was graceful.

Yes.

Okay.

Then we went full jersey short.

And I was still loving it.

I was still loving it.

And it was because it was clean cut.

It was still clean cut.

And now today it's like, this is a mullet that you've refurbished.

It's a backwards mullet.

It's like

it's not making any sense.

And like, what shape is your head?

You're going to die.

They're getting perms.

No.

They're getting perms in the front so that it gets like volumist so they don't just have like a Justin Bieber cut, which by the way, again, still classy.

It was still nice.

Justin McCartney, still nice and refined.

If I had a teenage son right now, I would gouge my eyes out.

So my nephew, I've been asking him a lot of questions because he asked me questions all the time.

And I like, where's the business?

I would just be that mom in bridesmaids where she's like, I picked up a blanket and I cracked it in a nap.

We're going to be boy moms.

No, I actually don't think I will, but

I think I will be because Des' whole family's boys and apparently genetically, that's a thing.

This is hard to say to Anthony.

And let's be honest,

I don't have enough feminine energy to push a girl out.

I don't think I can do it.

Thanks to Duncan for giving us these episodes.

They've been so fun.

We love hearing all of your stories, so don't stop sharing them.

Go to gigglysummer.com to keep submitting stories and gossip and a chance to win cute Giggly Duncan merch.

We love it.