Giggling about showgirls, summering, and life in your 30s

1h 1m

Hannah is embracing her inner millenial and Paige relapsed on tanning oil.


watch our youtube series

sign up for our newsletter

order our book

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Listen and follow along

Transcript

This episode is sponsored by Cars.com.

I'm an expert shopper like a black belt, but car shopping is a whole different story.

That's where Cars.com comes in handy.

Cars.com has over 2 million cars to choose from, with up to 50,000 new ones added every day.

So yes, the options are basically endless.

Whether you're suddenly in your cat talent manager era or entering your no pants and need heated seats era, there's a car for that on cars.com.

Personally, I'm feeling a chic works from anywhere kind of vibe, and guess what?

I found three cars for that exact aesthetic on cars.com.

Find your next possibility on cars.com.

Where to next?

If there's one thing Abercrombie knows, it's denim.

They know how it should feel, how it should look, and all of their staple denim fits are always ahead of the trend.

Abercrombie's viral curve love denim fit has additional room through the hip and thigh to eliminate any waist gap, and the classic fit you know and love with a straighter line from waist to hip.

This is the way denim should feel: confident, easy, and like your butt has never looked better.

Shop Abercrombie denim in the app online and in store.

Sup, gigglers.

Harriet, fix your Wi-Fi.

Manifest that shit.

We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

Hello, Hello, my glowing aura gigglers.

I hope you all recovered from our cat readings from last week.

Welcome back to Giggly NPR.

I know that we say like, okay, let's start the pod, but every time then you actually start, I'm like, oh my god, I'm not ready.

Okay, can I say my most intrusive thought?

And I remember like what we don't get ready.

We don't get ready, but my intrusive thought is like, it hit me like yesterday that like a lot of people listen to this podcast.

No, sometimes I get actually, I actually can't think about it sometimes because I'm like, oh, I am just sitting here shit talking.

Like, I haven't looked into anything.

I remember nothing's come across my desk.

It feels like the teacher just called your name and you're like, okay, time to wing some shit.

I just go, first of all, I disagree with what was said before me.

Second of all, I'm going to add on to the thing the other girl said and I agree.

Next.

That is a fear that like still haunts me of being called on in class and you are not have not been paying attention at all and you're like, oh, how many times did you have to be like, I have, I don't know.

Okay.

I was a really good student in high school.

So I was like, I literally was that annoying person.

I was like, pick me.

Pick me.

I was such a pick me.

But then in college, I didn't have time to study because I was.

Playing tennis.

Yeah.

So for the first time ever, I was like trying not to make eye contact with teachers.

When they'd asked the question, I'd like pretend I dropped my pencil.

No, it was just, I like kept dropping my pencil pencil whenever they asked the question.

I'd be like, I'm fine.

No, my tricks knew no bounds.

No bounds.

I mean, this look, this podcast is about cheating in school.

Yeah, the only thing you'll learn.

Girls had a sore throat.

I was like, you have to hit them with an itchy eye.

You have to go, you have to go so highbrow.

They're not expecting it.

Wait, do you know what we didn't address at all?

What?

My birthday.

We forgot.

We forgot.

My birthday.

Stasi Schroeder's shaking somewhere.

She's shaking.

I literally, I have your birthday gift on my counter and I was looking at it the other day and I was like, wait, is this like so stupid?

Like the things that I got you?

Because here's the thing.

If you want something, you can go, you're like, okay, I'm going to go get this thing for myself.

And so I feel like our gift giving, it's more like, I saw something and I was like, Hannah needs this.

Is it frog crocs?

People have been sending me that a lot.

It's just like, okay, do you want to know actually what it is?

Oh, my God.

I'm so bad at gift giving.

Gigglers, this is

a press conference right now.

Breaking news.

I saw these salt.

I'm on a whole like

gift giving for like the home.

So I saw these salt and pepper shakers that are shaped like olives.

And I was like, Hannah Nitsas.

Obviously.

And then they had a matching like

spoon rester for when you're cooking.

And it's like a big ravioli.

And I I was like, Hannah needs see, these are things I would never even know to get for myself.

Like that's actually so good and so genius.

I'm like, Hannah's not cooking, but if people come over, I want them to think like she has a spoon rest in the shape of a ravioli.

She's not fucking around.

She's not fucking around.

And she doesn't take herself seriously.

Like,

she has fun with it.

I did have, and then I had it engraved and it says, happy birthday.

So, like, Okay, that's next level.

That was unnecessary.

You didn't need to do that.

But I do have to say, I turned an interesting age.

What did you turn?

That's how interesting it is.

34.

Yeah.

Which is 40.

33 is still 30.

Once you turn 34, you're 40.

And that's just mad.

I know exactly what you're talking about.

Because 35 is 40, 34.

It's the first time I actually, like, I've been, I'm young, I'm young.

Yeah.

I'm now, but I had a little fear.

I said, ooh, I feel like Paige when she turned 30, I'm scared.

And

I thought, wait, I'm 34.

Yeah.

No one can make me take a shot again.

No one can make me go.

I just look, I don't need an excuse.

I just go, I'm 34.

Look at my birth certificate.

Yeah.

Check my ID.

I'm 34.

That's illegal.

You want to know what?

I hated turning 30.

Then I turned 31 and I realized 30 to 33.

That's the same age.

Same age.

That's the same age.

I'm in a different realm.

I actually do feel like people can call me ma'am now.

34 to 37, same age.

I have something profound to say.

Yeah.

For the girls in their 20s who are scared of getting in their 30s.

It's the best.

It's the best.

And I have like an example for it.

You know, in your 20s and in your teens, how like when you dance, you feel like everyone's watching?

Yes.

And you're like a little, you can't enjoy it because you're like, that was a weird move I just did.

Or like, yeah, that was stupid.

Everyone could tell I'm trying too hard and I'm a bad dancer.

Living in your 30s is literally dancing.

One, not giving a fuck if people can see you, but actually enjoying dancing.

I don't identify with as much of you.

You know what was, I was in the car yesterday and I was feeling myself and I was dancing and I was literally like, this is 34, baby.

I don't give a fuck.

I'm like that, that weird person like in the club that everyone's like, is she okay?

And it's like, well, she's having more fun than all of us.

Like, that's me now.

I've never felt more millennial than in this moment.

Oh, that was so mean of you.

30.

You're dancing in the car at 34.

This is 34, baby.

And I quote.

Also, I was rapping Lil Wayne.

Like, it was so.

You were having a day.

You get a license.

I was having a millennial day.

I stopped trying to be something I wasn't.

You were like, where the fuck is my Hillary Duff CD?

Like, truly?

And I was like, I need...

Well, Grace filmed a video.

of me and I kind of panicked and in it I did peace signs and I said something else and she stopped the video, and she goes, That's two strikes, two millennial strikes.

So I've been in timeout.

You, yeah, you have to.

And you're just like, you're summering.

Sorry, you're summering.

Sorry, I'm summering.

But I just feel like there's no expectations on me to baby fun anymore.

Yeah.

To be like, you know, not having to be cool

is where you find your actual cool.

Well, it's

relaxing.

Like 20s, you had to be hot.

I went out with my family this weekend.

Choogie.

So chuggy.

And I heard my dad say, Paige is going to want to leave in like another hour anyway.

And I was like,

first of all, spot on.

And second of all, I would have gone then if someone presented the option.

And third of all, I love that I'm like, I've hit an age where they're like, Paige doesn't want to keep going.

And like, I even get hit with old Paige would have loved this.

And I'm like, old Paige would have.

Old page would have.

Old Page would have fucking loved this.

And you know what?

But New Page has to go to bed.

And Old Page did everything she could.

She did.

And she has nothing left.

And let's embrace her and let's thank her.

I will never forget when we were at the time party.

And I said to you, can we leave?

And you didn't hear me.

And I thought you didn't want to leave.

And there was like 10 seconds where I felt like I lost my best friend.

Like, I was looking around.

I was like, I've lost her.

I've lost her to this part.

You're like, her personality is, she's different.

She's changing.

It's kind of like when your friend hangs out with another friend and then comes and hangs out with you.

They're like a little, they're like, they smell different.

Yeah, they smell different.

They're like, oh, it's like, oh, you're in.

They say something like kind of funny and you're like, where'd you learn that?

You're like, you let, wait, when did you go there?

I go, when did you ever use that vernacular before?

I never approved that.

I never approved that at all.

Wait, vernacular is a great word.

I've never said that word before, which is really good.

Okay, we have to talk about this because, like, I know it's like late now.

Like,

oh, like, it's like it just like it happened.

Yeah, but like, we only record once a week.

So it's like, we have to.

Sorry, we're a week late, and that's the news.

Also, we have so much news we cover on this pod.

Like, we're catching up.

You never gotten news a week late?

Like, hello?

Look alive.

It's historical.

It's literally historical.

Sorry, learn from history.

Continue, Paige.

Wait, you know what I keep thinking of?

When I came to the Hamptons and you were like, well, obviously we're going to touch on the classics.

I can't stop saying it.

Also,

because Des was there, I feel like we're low performing.

Like, look at our friendship.

Look at this.

We're like, wait, you don't know this story?

Buckle in.

We were setting each other up for jokes.

We were performing.

We're performers.

Life of a showgirl.

No, what I wanted to talk about was Taylor Swift going on Travis Kelsey's podcast.

Okay, first of all, I love Travis Kelsey.

I love Taylor Swift.

Something deep down within me, I don't like when girls help men in any capacity.

Okay, I'm so glad you worded it like that because

here's what I want to say about it because I feel like people were tagging mean things.

And also people like in the comments on their own accord were like, I'm so surprised she like did it on his podcast or like whatever.

When you're in love, you do stupid shit, you will truly do anything to help that person.

Why did I just say person like that?

Person, person,

person,

you will do anything to like elevate that person, or like, yeah, you know, like she obviously knew then he was going to be on GQ and she was probably like, wait, you know, it would be really cute if I came on your podcast.

Everybody's wanting it.

That's so right.

And one thing about Taylor is she loves love.

She loves love.

She loves love.

So I really think anyone thinking that they were in a PR relationship for me, which I didn't think that.

Maybe I did like in the very beginning, but like I didn't, I don't think that.

But I feel like that kind of proved, no, they're not.

Like she wanted to do this because she loves this man and she wants him to get those views and those clicks.

And

you don't want a man that has no passion or a job.

I mean, obviously he plays in the NFL, but like...

So she's like, we're going to need to up your podcast listen.

Yeah, like he's not going to play in the NFL forever.

And like now he hosts a number one podcast.

Like,

yeah.

The truth is, is when you love someone, they are you.

Like you are the same.

So it's like her helping him.

It's not like that.

It's more we don't know things.

So we just see like, okay, she's perfect and she's helping him.

And look, look, charity is a great thing.

Like more people should feel.

Philanthropy is like the best thing on the planet.

Yes.

Like everyone should consider at least volunteering.

But unless you're in love, don't go on his podcast.

Don't go on his podcast.

Did you listen to it?

No.

You saw clippies, though?

I saw clips.

Here's the thing.

I think

because I am on a podcast, I don't find enjoyment in

listening to other people's podcasts.

Because I'm like, oh my God, wait.

Should I be doing that?

Like,

do I sound like that?

Or like, just random things, unless it's a very specific podcast that I want to listen to.

That's a baby.

There's a baby making biscuits behind me.

That is a cute baby.

Check the YouTube.

This is latte.

Oh, my God.

She looks AI.

Yeah.

Okay.

It's like she.

Here's another thing.

I've been getting duped with AI videos.

I feel like a 65-year-old

mom on Facebook, and I'm sending it to my kids.

Like, look at this.

Unless something happens to me in person, I don't trust what i read online and i also don't trust what people are saying online i

no i don't belie unless it's i don't trust what we say online

i don't trust this pod i don't trust other pods unless it fucking happens if you see it with your eyes

in the room yep unless i was in the room unless you stabbed the person it didn't happen no i don't trust anyone what ai tricked you a whale it was a whale video

Oh, that'll do it.

That'll do it.

Because you're not familiar with whales and their ways.

I'm not specifically familiar, but I literally now check the comments for someone to be like, this is AI.

And I'm like, oh, oh, my God.

Wait, one more thing I want to say about the Taylor Swift thing.

Yeah.

I did clock that she said a lot of giggly squad phrases.

And not that we started any of those phrases.

We plagiarized all of them, most of them, like they're common phrases.

We took words that were already invented and put them together.

Yeah.

She quoted,

We Ride at Dawn.

No, she didn't.

Yeah, she did.

She says, We ride at Dawn about something.

No, she didn't.

Then she said, I'm pretty sure she said women in STEM.

No, she didn't.

I might have made that one.

She didn't.

I might have made that one up.

I'm pretty sure she said, she said, hello, gorgeous gigglers.

I'm pretty sure Taylor.

We know Teller's a giggler because she's smart, funny, and talented, and rich.

And she has cats.

And cats.

And she has cats.

No, like, she's definitely a giggler.

And I have to just say,

her coming out with another album, like...

When does she sleep?

It's so iconic because one thing that we do love, which is so funny because we pretend we don't, we love a hard-working girl.

We love a hardworking girl.

We love a girl that while people are talking shit about her, she's too busy working to even know what people are saying.

No, that's literally like when Haley was like, sorry, I'm busy signing a billion-dollar deal.

Like, I don't have time for it.

And Taylor, throughout all her ups and downs in her life, has continued to create what she loves.

And I also love this album, the showgirl element.

Like,

I'm obsessed.

Who doesn't love a little glitz and glamour?

It's giving us on tour.

No, the life of a showgirl, it really, it's tough.

What if her next album's beta blocker?

Beta blocker.

Beta blocker blues.

Okay, if she says beta blocker in one of the songs, then we know she's

Taylor.

If you say beta blocker, we got you.

Like, we won't say anything.

Speaking of big pharma,

I unfortunately was hit with another UTI this past week.

You hate to see it.

You hate to hear about it.

Thoughts and prayers go out.

And I've realized that I get one every five months is like my sweet spot.

I feel like that's a lie.

I feel like if we rewind the track, Grace, Chris, rewind this,

it's a little more often than every five months.

My last one was in April.

I checked my medical records.

Oh, so you're counting when you get hospitalized for UTI?

Yeah, when I have to take, go on literal antibiotics.

I'm not talking about text messages where I'm like, sorry, can't come UTI.

Not to mansplain you, but have you tried boric acid?

Not a standalone, but if it's in any of my vitamins, then yeah.

I take like

D-mannose, I think it's called.

And like I drink a powder vitamin every day for like strong

bladders and I mean I'm doing the I'm not just out here willy-nilly I'm putting in the work and I'm putting in the time I a company sent me like a boric acid thing that you just stick up your pussy

and it's supposed to be really good so just look that up not that you need more things sticking inside you because you've just you put everything inside you at this point so we don't even have a we have too many variables to even have like a good experiment um wait is are you still on your UT UTI I actually finished my finished my antibiotic yesterday Did you call it a UT?

UT, I feel like it is Bammer Rush right now, and I feel like I would be like, Oh, my God.

U-T-I.

Camma, get my UTI.

But here's what I'm here to say.

I wasn't in New York City when I felt it hit.

And like, that's when I go into pure panic mode.

I don't think people realize that, remember one medical?

Like, it was a separate app?

Yeah.

That Amazon owns one medical now, and you can literally go go on your Amazon account, go on One Medical,

text to a freaking doctor and be like, Hey, I have a UTI.

And they're like, Cool, where's your pharmacy?

And they just send it.

I got an antibiotic in 20 minutes.

Amazon is taking over.

They're doing same-day stuff, which is like coming for Instagram.

Amazon is getting very powerful.

They're getting really powerful.

And although that is terrifying,

and I am employed by them,

I'm here to say I'm for the one medical.

Like, I.

No, one medical is amazing.

I use it.

It's amazing.

You guys, this is a health podcast.

This is the health podcast.

This is like tips and tricks on living life.

Like, this is just something I've experienced in my everyday life, and

I'm proud of it.

I do keep getting tagged in random TikToks of like, you might have a six-month-old STD.

And I'm like, guys.

No, because one thing in the Gigluzar is looking out for us.

But leave me out of that one.

It's not.

Oh, that's what Taylor Swift said.

She said it's none of my business.

She said that there might be, and you want to know what, bitch?

I agree.

She babies.

There might be headlines about me.

And my name could be in headlines.

And it's still none of my business.

Did she say that?

Yes.

Oh, my God.

I love it.

And I've never felt more seen because I'm like, wait, I could be, I could be the subject of an entire,

why was I just going to say eulogy?

That's so scary.

That's when someone dies.

I was the thing.

I wanted to say that.

Words are powerful.

Words are powerful.

Let's take the right ones.

And it might be none of my business.

And the none of my business tour starts in September.

Get your tickets now.

No, none of my business.

The concept is so powerful because if you, we're in a world where you can make everything your business, and as humans, we cannot consume so much information about ourselves, about our friends.

It's not natural.

No, so that's why, that's why trad wives are coming back.

We need a break.

That's why trad wives are coming back.

That's why maybe the Amish, we're on to something.

Like a calm.

Should we do, should we start like an Amish, but like where the women are allowed to speak?

Or is that Scientology?

It's just, I don't want to be in a calm.

I want to be alone.

It's just definitely

pods.

Pods.

I just want to be alone like 80% of the time.

I want to invent a social media where

it just shows you what you need to know.

Like, and you put it in.

Like, you're literally like, I need a cat video, a recipe, and that's it.

Like, I think information actually needs to be.

We're on overload.

No, that's why I keep saying, like, I need Andy and a camera in pamela anderson's home just watching her like do laundry fold laundry load the dishwasher i want calm soothing energy at all times

If I couldn't have loved Majori enough, now I love it even more because of Emma Navarro.

She's the brand's first ambassador and a tennis star.

Majori just launched play for the 2025 U.S.

Open.

It is truly my favorite time of year.

And Majori's modern, stackable designs are great for on and off the court.

Play really reflects that jewelry is an extension of your identity and your self-expression, especially in women's sports.

Majori makes fine jewelry for every day because they believe your favorite pieces should be for more than just special occasions.

And Majori is celebrated for its inherently minimal yet playful aesthetic and beautifully designed products.

Majori believes fine jewelry doesn't have to come at the cost of our values, our communities, or our planet.

So shop Majori Jewelry in store, in app, or online at majority.com.

Okay, real talk.

Don't these giggly squad ads just feel like they go on and on and on?

What if this was the last ad you ever had to hear on this show?

Because with Prime, you can stream top podcasts ad-free on Amazon Music, even this one.

No awkward breaks, no we'll be right back, just true crime, celebrity gossip, unhinge best friend rants, whatever you're into, uninterrupted.

You could be deep in a drama right now, but instead, I'm here.

Ad-free podcasts is on Prime.

And ironically, yes, I am the ad telling you that.

Shopping is better together on Amazon Live.

Amazon Live brings you a new way to shop.

It's a video platform where you can explore trending products and deals, connecting with the biggest influencers and their communities, including our favorite, Paige DeSorbo.

But there's also Amazon Live stars like Kyle Richards, Lala Kent, all telling me what to buy.

I need this because there's too many options out there and I want tastemakers to tell me what their favorite things are for certain events.

I love their tech essentials to their get ready with me's plus real-time try-ons on the latest trends.

I want to see how makeup looks on people.

I want to see what they're packing to Italy.

These are things that make shopping helpful for me and that's the magic of Amazon Live.

Whether it's tech, home, beauty, fashion, or something totally unexpected, everyone's on Amazon Live for the same reason, to find something they love with people they love too.

It's like shopping with a trusted friend.

So shop on Amazon now by searching Amazon Live in the Amazon shopping app and follow your favorite creators today.

You know what's more stressful than a packed calendar?

Realizing you're out of coffee right before a meeting?

That's why I stocked up during Thrive Markets back to school sale.

Even though you're not going back to school, this is the perfect time to reset.

Thrive makes it easy to shop for high-quality pantry staples, snacks, vitamins, even skincare without the errands or the ingredient label deep dives.

Thrive Market's filters also make shopping by diet or lifestyle a breeze, and their Healthy Swaps tool helped me upgrade my usual buys with zero label stress.

One of my favorite things is this brand Siete Mexican wedding cookies.

Oh my god, they are so good.

I literally eat them all in one day, but it's fine, but I will never not order them.

Now is the best time to try Thrive Market.

You'll get up to 25% off, select items, and new members get 30% off their first order, plus a free gift.

Go to thrivemarket.com/slash giggly to start saving.

The sale ends August 31st.

Don't miss it.

Hey, folks, it's Mark Maron from WTF.

Today I want to talk to you about Boost Mobile, offering reliable nationwide coverage backed by a 30-day money-back guarantee.

Love your service or get your money back.

No questions asked.

Boost Mobile offers the coverage, network speed, and service you're used to, but at more affordable prices.

Why pay more if you don't have to?

You can get an unlimited plan for $25 a month that will never increase in price, ever.

No price hikes, no multi-line requirements, no stress.

Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store or find them online at boostmobile.com.

After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds.

Customers will pay $25 per month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan.

Speaking of information.

Yeah.

Have you heard that almond nails are millennial?

Yeah, that's why I switched to square.

Okay, wait.

You're a bitch.

Because I was like, fucking bitch.

I saw you go square, and you didn't tell me why.

You didn't tell me why.

You just did it.

You just did it.

And you were laughing at me behind my back, being like, look at this stupid millennial.

I knew you were mouthing that to Grace.

I knew you were mouthing that to her.

She goes, Look at the stupid millennial with her almond nails.

In my defense,

in my defense, I was never an almond girly.

I was always square.

And then I went almond for a couple months.

I can't handle how you're saying almond right now.

Almond.

Almond.

Almond.

Almond.

Almond.

Stop.

So

I guess you are saying that.

I say almonds because I'm not a freak almond.

Almond.

Almond.

You're a bitch.

You're a bitch.

You're a real problem.

You're a real...

Wait.

Wait, what?

Remember, you just repeat what your brother said, and you'd be like, stop it.

And I'd be like, stop it.

Sorry, I've been hanging out with toddlers.

I was a little sister, so I was the one fighting for my life.

Well,

I've been playing with toddlers all weekend, and I finally found the perfect game.

She pretends, because all they want to do is improv.

Yeah.

And we did too many, like, freesting.

We're just improving.

Pack it up.

She walks in the room, and I said, give me a motive.

What is my descriptor?

No, we're.

I'm describing kids playing as literal.

We are riffing.

Okay, do you want to know the kind of riffing we're doing?

So first I see her and I I have to make her laugh.

So I said, Farty poopy Bobby, because that's her brother.

She loves when we shit on her little brother.

She starts laughing and she goes, Farty Poopy Dez.

And I start laughing.

And then I go, Farty Poopy Bed.

And then we're just naming everything in the room.

And this bitch was quick.

Yeah.

And next thing, you know, I'm like, for

objects.

But then.

She would ask where butter is and I'd be like, butter's scared.

And sometimes butter hisses.

She's scared.

So then she walks in this morning and she goes, hi, butter.

So I go, meow.

And she goes, my name is Hannah.

And we don't like Lois.

And I, so then I hiss.

It's Helen Ovella that's just

the drama.

But then she's like, okay, butter, come cuddle.

And I realized I could lay down, close my eyes, and that's the game.

So she was like literally petting my hair and I was going,

and I was like, this is fucking perfect.

So I literally like napped for 45 minutes.

And she was being me.

She was wearing sunglasses being like, butter, don't be mean to Lois.

She goes, Lois is a nice person.

Don't be mean.

And I go, and she goes, butter, stop it.

And poor Butter never wanted to be a part of any narrative.

No, this is theater.

Theater.

And then sometimes she like.

Throws in a new spin on things that I like.

She should be a producer.

This is community theater at its finest.

And we need to stop saying children are playing pretend.

they're artists and they're improv they're comedians do you ever see those kids who like remember things from past lives on Instagram I'm obsessed with them I hope to have one one day so I tried to get that out of Lois she said something she was like did you ask Lois what your aura color is well Lois's aura color is pink and purple My God.

Obviously.

Obviously.

I'm going to ask her.

That's a really good question.

She was like, you were red because you were a cunt and now you're better.

And then you went to some, you did some EMTR therapy, and you're much better.

She's perfect.

I love her.

She's perfect.

Um, is she still there?

Yeah, she's running around right now.

She's gonna make a cameo later.

She'll come in and say, and say, Giggly squad.

Oh, I did go.

I was going like, and she looked at me and she goes, There's no spitting in this house.

Oh my god, you're a literal mom.

In my own house.

Yeah.

And I said, valid.

That was gross i am so sorry

what are like three-year-old girls into she's three right two yeah she loves bluey

and familiar she it's like very good we actually watched pokemon which i remembered and i was like wait this is iconic yeah um she loves cats little kittens so we're kind of the same person yeah um she loves talking shit about her brother

she she literally will be like

bobby bobby spilled a water all day.

She's going up to people going, Bobby spilled a water.

We I'm obsessed with that.

She goes, I'm so happy.

Hold him accountable.

She goes, I know you're having

that man is all happy and never made a mistake before.

Literally, just spilled a water.

Three-year-old girls, three-year-old girls, really.

I feel like

back to Mystic Michaela,

society knocks things out of them because the boundaries in which a three-year-old little girl has

I standing firm so this she made a friend yesterday also I wish we could make friends like three-year-olds do Lois is very social though like she sees someone and she's like okay we're playing like that's what we do and her this girl were like singing together and performing and I was like this is like something healed in me Speak of the little devil.

She's just seen me.

Good thing she doesn't know how to open the door.

She's very confused by doorknobs.

So she's not getting in.

You know,

and it comes with age.

I am obsessed with her.

I want to freaking eat her.

Oh, wait.

I also had one more, like, really important note.

Yes.

Italians

calling something a panini

is like dramatic.

It's a toasted sandwich.

It's not a whole different type of sand.

It's just toasted.

And they're like, oh, do you want a panini?

Toasted.

There's whole industries built

on basically just a toasted sandwich.

Yep.

Yep.

That they've created this entire lore that it's a completely different cuisine.

Like a panini.

I mean, is it pressed?

Yes, but still not enough.

I argue the question, is a bacon, egg, and cheese a panini?

I would say because it's not pressed, it's not.

But like, is a tunamel a panini?

Yeah, I'd say yes.

I would argue.

Yes.

If I was under oath, I would testify that yes, a tuna melt is a panini.

Wait, can you please, can you please do the cousin Vinny quote when she's under oath?

Wait, this is so funny that you're asking me this because yesterday I was at the track with my whole family and they were like, Mage,

do the thing.

Do the misery.

One part was: I'd say,

the defense is wrong.

My father was a mechanic.

My father's father was a mechanic.

My brother's a mechanic.

So yeah, I'm an expert.

Imagine you're a deer and you're prancing along.

You spot a brook.

You put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water.

And then, bam, a fucking bullet hits you in the head.

You think you'd give a damn what the guy who shot you was wearing?

Now I ask you.

That is the greatest movie of all time.

And because a tome, like,

did she win an Oscar for that?

Because, if not, absolutely robbed.

She wore a Unitard.

The whole time.

The whole time.

The UTIs that woman had to suffer.

No, I'm obsessed with that movie.

Oh, I remember what I was going to say about Lois.

Yeah.

Okay.

This week is all over the place.

And we apologize because literally, I can't do anything but quote Kylie.

We're summering.

I'm literally, I'm in the thick of summering.

I'm in the throes of it.

And we forgot how to form brain cells.

No, truly, anyone that I work with currently, right now,

I've been sending text messages being like, sorry, I'm just like, really, not trying to work the month of August.

And I really,

truly

literally called me.

She's like, how do we get Paige to respond to a text?

I go, she's summering, babe.

Grace and Josephine.

I'm like, hey, quick update.

I won't be in anywhere.

I called you and I was like, hey, you can't block Grace.

Sorry.

I would like to bring the European Union to America for the month of August.

We're all off.

I dare you to change your email to be like, thanks.

I'm out of office.

I'll be returning in 2027.

I would love to.

I would literally love to.

People are like planning things for the fall.

I'm like, guys.

No, no, no.

Stop, let's live in the present.

Let's live in the moment.

They're like, we need decisions today.

I'm like,

the only thing I was going to say about Lois was that she said something like, when I was in my mommy's mommy's belly, she said something.

So then I immediately clocked that and I said, what else did you see when you were in mommy's belly?

Do you remember what happened before you were in mommy's belly?

And she looked at me and she was like, I don't know.

And I'm like, was there a war?

Oh my God, do you think Lois is reincarnated?

I don't know, but I'm getting to the bottom of it.

Yeah.

I'm just asking her light questions.

I'm like.

You're just peppering her with a little.

Do you remember how the pyramids were built?

Were you there?

Imagine?

I don't know.

Those videos freak me out.

But I do have to make an announcement.

Yeah.

My summer is like

about to be over.

Why?

Oh, because you're going on tour.

No, before that, my Super Bowl is happening.

The U.S.

Open begins.

Oh, my God.

People don't know this.

The U.S.

Open is two weeks.

Yep.

And I've never been.

I'm basically playing.

in the U.S.

Open this year.

No one's asked me.

I haven't gotten a call from anyone, but I'm going to be there.

Um,

I'm so

booked up.

Yeah, these next two weeks, I'm going to matches, I'm interviewing people, I'm basically, it's sorry, there's a cat on my shoulder.

Yeah,

do you think there's any questions about the U.S.

Open that we could help the girls with?

Because I feel like some girls are gonna go.

Like, what should the girls be wearing this year as opposed to other years?

Sorry, that was so much fun.

Sorry, you've stumped me.

That was

okay.

I feel feel like I get asked this a decent amount when it comes to like, what are you wearing?

I think like Morgan Riddle and Paige Lorenz really like do such a good job.

I mean, of what they wear and such good inspo.

But it's like any other preppy event.

Like you're wearing, it's preppy.

So you're like you have to think East Coast, Nantucket, Martha's Vineyard, the Hamptons.

Like you have to think that aesthetic and that vibe.

And anything, and

whatever you would wear during the day there,

you would wear to the U.S.

Open.

Do you know what I think?

Hannah-coated-wise, what I wore once that I liked was kind of these like baggy khakis or like white pants.

I had worn it with a tube top, which I haven't been wearing lately.

Well, you're 34.

No, I'm just kidding.

I'm kidding.

That was a joke.

That was a joke.

You're so valid.

I'm 34 with a long torso.

I'm not wearing Amazon $12 bandeaus anymore.

Like,

it's over.

Let's stop playing games.

Sorry.

I never wore the long torso.

Yeah.

It's insane.

It looks like a bandeau.

I loved Madeline Klein wore this, like, I love monochromatic, but she just wore like a buttoned up like sweater and then like a like a Ralph Lauren hat

like baseball hat.

I love dress like a celebrity undercover, like a little bit at the U.S.

Open.

It's like cute.

Also, it's very sunny.

So

if you do look good in hats, I don't.

I have a peanut head.

I look insane with hats.

Wear a little baseball cap with a cute little outfit.

Have fun with somebody.

I feel like saying that you don't look good in hats is so

crazy to say.

That's what someone with pretty privilege would say.

But

I look at you more than you look at you.

Period.

That was crazy.

Wait, that was crazy.

Because we both know I don't look in the mirror at all.

I don't look in the mirror.

Do you know I tell everyone that too?

Do you know?

I'm like, do you know that Hannah doesn't look in the mirror?

I'm like, right before she showers, she doesn't even glance.

She's so healthy.

She's epitome of healthy.

I'm like, that's so fucking healthy.

Because you know what?

What I look like is none of my business.

None of my business.

But as someone who looks at you more, you don't, I wouldn't walk by you and be like, damn, that girl's

so fucking small.

I hope she never wears a goddamn hat.

We'll never find her.

See what it is.

My hair is also like, not to brag, it's like kind of thick and frizzy.

So sometimes when I put a hat on or wear my hair down, I feel like insane.

Like my hair is a little bit more.

So you have great, thick, long hair for a baseball hat.

Are you kidding?

It's like, that's the sexiest for a baseball hat.

It's like, oh, it's like, oh, I'm a little athletic on top, but like

a vlog.

I'm going to post a photo of me in a baseball hat, and I'll let the gigglers decide.

They'll vote.

Yeah.

Do it.

Yeah.

I would like that.

Because you said the same thing about pulling your hair back.

We argued this episode.

I'm 34.

Like, I can't handle this.

I can't change now.

No, we can't handle any more.

And I'm going to start using that as an issue.

Sorry.

My best friend is 34.

Wait, I'm thinking he's older than you right now.

I think I'm coming.

Yeah, you are.

So maybe listen to someone wise who knows that hats look stupid on her.

But yeah, the U.S.

Open is going to be fun.

I'm actually, I have a crazy thing happening.

What?

I'm going with Chelsea Handler.

What day?

But this is the like weird full circle moment.

One, that I taught tennis to her when I was like 21 and she didn't remember.

Two, she loves tennis.

And at one point, she was like sitting in the boxes of all the top tennis players.

If you don't know what a box is, it's basically like the VIP table for the match.

So in someone's box is like their significant other, their coaches, their psychiatrists, their managers, their best friends.

So like wait, really?

They're psychiatrists?

Sometimes.

Damn.

Sometimes.

Wait, you know, like we should bring a psychiatrist on tour with us.

It's expensive, but it may be worth the investment.

I would love it.

Like, their mental coach, they call it.

But I'm like, it's a psychologist.

Let's be honest.

Yeah, got it.

Um, so, because you never know, you never know when you're gonna need one.

Hands of God, you never know, hands to god, you never know.

So, I like Kim Kardashi would be in Serena's box all the time, like, it's like cool.

So, Chelsea Handler was sitting in Maria Sheripova's box back in the day, and I was like, oh my god, that's so cool!

Like, imagine to be a fun while I'm sitting in Sheripova's box watching with Chelsea Handler in your ear.

I'm going.

I'm sitting with Chelsea Handler in a box.

Whose box?

I don't know.

Oh, like, I don't know.

I honestly don't know.

It's very, I don't have any information.

Like, when Chelsea Handler says, hey,

car is picking you up.

Yeah.

Be ready.

I'm afraid.

It's very exciting.

What if I do MDMA at the U.S.

Open?

Tell me how it is.

Wait, you're going on Wednesday?

I'm going Wednesday.

No, but we're going the following week.

Because it doesn't start till the following week.

Yeah, this is like a mixed doubles promo.

Got it.

Got it.

Got it.

Got it.

got it.

But what I'm saying is, yeah, we're going on the following week, and I can only go, well, I really only go once a year.

You, yeah, you make your appearance.

Sometimes I'll go more if it's like a, if it, my schedule allows it.

True.

But this year I thought I wasn't going to be able to go at all, but we're going one time together because then I have to go away for a wedding.

So I'm missing all of it.

Pretty much.

It's not an Italy thing.

I have to go to Tuscany for a wedding, and I'm so very excited because one, I've never been to Tuscany, and two, like

this is black tie, honey.

Like, this is an extravaganza of a wedding.

So, I'm like, very excited.

I have, I have no looks, obviously.

But, again, how many looks do you have to do?

Before I go to Italy, I like to keep the bar low.

Well, I have

like a welcome party, a rehearsal, dinner, and then the wedding.

So, I have three looks I need to do.

Oh, my God.

No, it's a lot of pressure.

It's so much pressure to go to Tuscany.

No, I saw a TikTok the other day and it was just like, I think it was Christina Kirkman.

Oh, yeah, she's so funny.

I think it was Christina Kirkman.

She said something about like

men, like packing for a trip versus a guy.

It's just like, okay, they'll bring like 12 pairs of shorts and 12 t-shirts.

Great.

And you're like doing the math.

Like, okay, if we're there for seven days and I need three outfits a day, it's like that.

Well, that's 21 outfit.

And like that, it's

a seven-day trip will put me over the edge.

Paige, I was talking to a male comic the other day, and I was like, what do you wear on your tour?

And that's when I love the honesty from the men, like the earnest in their voice where they're truly perplexed is one of my favorites.

It takes me a little bit of time to introduce something into my routine, but something that I got the hang of really quickly was Symbiotica liposomal vitamin C.

I started drinking them when we went on tour because the benefits were just too good to ignore.

Collagen production, glowing skin, antioxidants.

If I'm having a panic attack, I want my skin to be glowing.

Symbiotica only uses the best ingredients and the best flavors.

Their liposomal vitamin C is citrus vanilla and it tastes so good.

I've actually even added it into my water bottle sometimes.

I also love Symbiotica's sea moss pouches.

They help with digestion, bloating, and healthy skin.

I'm always looking for anything to help my skin.

They're clean and convenient, the best combination.

So go to symbiotica.com slash giggly squad for 20% off plus free shipping.

That's symbiotica.com slash giggly squad for 20% off plus free shipping.

I use heat every day of my life and I've tried so, so many heat protectants.

None of them felt like they were making a difference for my damaged hair until I tried K18's new Heat Bounce Conditioning Heat Protectant.

Instead of just coating the hair like traditional heat protectants, patented tech fortifies hair from the inside out for 85% less breakage after blow-drying.

Heat Bounce delivers deeper heat protection than ever before, so I can go from a bouncy, shiny blowout to a sleek ponytail without worrying about damage.

Plus, my hair is getting stronger with continued use.

Shop Heat Bounce at Sephora or use code GIGGLY for 10% off your first order at k18hair.com.

That's code giggly at k18hair.com.

So New York City is going through an absolute heat wave, but I naturally run hot anyway when I'm sleeping.

And if you run into that problem too, then Mattress Firm sleep experts will match you with the right mattress with the latest cooling technology.

Mattress Firm has a premium selection so you can get the upgrade you want.

Mattress Firm really does make the shopping for a mattress so easy, and Mattress Firm sleep experts use their training and expertise to match you with the perfect sleep solution.

Summer is so hot, and don't go another night sleeping and sweating.

For the great sleep you deserve, visit Mattress Firm during the Labor Day sale, the best sale of the year.

They make sleep easy.

Text GigglySquad to 766693 for $100 off your next purchase at Mattress Firm.

Restrictions apply.

See mattressfirm.com or store for details.

I used to summer in Newport, Rhode Island.

Shut up often as a young child.

Really?

Yes, I think that's why I love period pieces because sometimes we went to Newport maybe like twice

in the summer.

And we, and as a child, I loved going through the mansion tours.

We would do so many mansion tours and I was obsessed with it.

And like, you go in like the Vanderbilt house and like all these different houses, and they give you like all.

It used to be like a tour guide.

Now it's like headphones.

It's like not as good.

But I think that's why I love period pieces because as a young child, I loved it.

I've never went to Newport.

Well, a lot of Italians are in Rhode Island.

A lot of Italians are in Rhode Island.

She's so random.

Like public schools in Newport are so random.

There's probably no public schools in Newport.

But I'm going for the Tennis Hall of Fame, which is is so funny because I kind of skipped the whole like playing professionally and just went from

being comedian to going to the Tennis Hall of Fame.

But I'm just like going with my parents in Des

and Wait, you're getting inducted into the Tennessee Fame?

No, no.

But I'm there for it.

Maria Sharipova is getting inducted.

Got it, got it.

Because you know my manifestation is crazy.

Wait a second.

That manifestation might be actually illegal and like not fair.

What is the equivalent?

I just like, okay, you know how like all men, like men men are like if i like if i could have trained i could have been in the nfl yeah like if i was like if i was like an inch taller i totally could have been in the nb like shit like that do women have an equivalent i don't think so because i feel like we are realistic in certain aspects women are more than realistic we're like mean to ourselves where we're like oh like i'll be like oh my god you're so good at you know um makeup you could be a professional makeup artist no no no i couldn't no no no i could never do that And I'm like, no, you're literally doing it.

No, I couldn't.

I mean, literally seven minutes ago, you were like, I don't wear hats.

Hats are not for me.

I hate hats.

I can't wear a hat.

I could be so many things if I could wear a hat, but I can't.

Men will literally wear a hat on the tip of their head,

tippy-tippy top of their head, not even on their head.

And they'll be like, this looks cool.

This looks good.

And my poor friend won't even go near a hat without breaking out in time.

And melanoma is looming.

Okay?

Melanoma is looming.

Put your sunscreen on.

No, men wearing their hat on the tippy top.

Who let them?

Who let them?

I have to confess something, and it's so bad because I know that I'm out.

You thought it was.

I'm switching topics, actually.

You're like, we're done.

Something else popped in my hand.

Nope.

Pat.

Sorry.

This is so bad.

And I know because I'm like on here every week being like, I love my skincare.

And like, I do this and I do that.

I put tanning oil on the other day.

Paige disorbo

not on my face i didn't put it on my face where'd you put it on your pussy that's why you're on uti i saw it i saw it and i was did you perine them no i didn't no i didn't but but i still want to do that i saw it was just sitting there it looked lonely i was like i bet no one's used you in years everyone's talking bad about you and you used to be my best friend and we had so many good times together

And I miss you.

And so I did it on my stomach and my legs and my butt.

And I really did the backside of me.

But here's in my defense, I feel like in Italy, I didn't really tan the back of me.

Okay.

I had no interest in flipping.

But that's where you're wrong.

The back of you is none of your business.

It's none of my business.

I've never once saw a girl have been like, whoa, the back of her leg is not the same color as the front of her leg.

Really?

I have.

Like, ever heard of flipping, bitch?

Like, you can't fall asleep.

So I've been playing tennis with a bathing suit on, and I didn't realize the bathing suit in the back has, like, a big big circle in it because it's a one-piece and the back is just circle.

So I have a full just like circle of a tan on my back.

But again, none of my business.

I didn't even know it was there.

And I've been so peaceful until someone told me and I said, uh-uh.

I don't want to know.

Don't come to me with things about me.

Yeah, don't talk shit behind my back, literally.

Okay, for everyone listening, don't use tanning oil.

Paige, you know better than it.

I'm not saying use it.

I'm just, I'm confessing something.

Let me live.

This is a safe space for me.

True.

I do like your honesty.

That was really good.

And you want to know what?

I fucking liked it.

It did exactly what I was doing.

Now I have to step in.

Now I have to step in.

And it did exactly what I'm going to do.

First it's tanning oil.

Then it's heroin.

Then next thing you know, you're stealing from your family and you're losing your job.

No, you're tweaking out.

Yeah, tanning oil actually is a gateway drug.

Because if you catch me with like a beach bump subscription, I'm like, I'm just going to go once a month.

Stop me.

Truly stop me.

Because that's when I've gone too far.

You're passed out in the kitchen with tanning oil all over you.

And I'm like, God damn it.

I've got to get her to work.

I'm just like, wait, what if I just try to?

It was just like, it was a naughty thing.

Look, I'm 32 years old.

That's my version of being naughty.

Yeah, we're going to have to have a New Jersey intervention with you.

I will love it.

I'm obsessed.

But I do have to say my favorite part about summer being tan is that like I don't have to wear as much makeup because it's like naturally contouring it's the same with like having a bob it becomes an accessory i'm like i'll put this outfit on and then i'll wear my tan like and i'm tan so like i'll look better it's so good but i really feel bad because my i saw a girl the other day wearing like a red sweater and i was like it's fall oh i thought you were gonna say not for my aura Not for my

not my aura, not my energy, not my season.

Yeah.

Summer for me is over.

Like it's, I'm back to work.

I've been on bed rest.

Okay, that is, like, really stressing me out because I feel like I have a good, solid, like, three weeks left of summer, and you're like crushing my vibe.

It's okay because you've been working, like, really hard every summer.

So this, you need this.

But, like, September 4th, I'm off to Vancouver, Oakland.

I had a tough year.

We're out here.

You did, but a beautiful year.

I had a beautiful year.

I had like one of the best years of my life, honestly, actually.

And like, all jokes aside, I actually think this was like,

this is in the top three best years of my life.

I'm feeling a mental health moment coming because I also feel like you dealt with a lot of adversity, but you gained a lot of trust in yourself and you became more interesting.

To me, at least.

I have to deal with you all the time.

Because I'd be like, she comes down from the hotel room.

I'm like, what mood is she going to be?

And you want to know what?

Start normalizing people walking on eggshells around you.

I like that about you.

No, but Paige.

Because we've been together when we both have had mental breaks and we've survived it.

Like, could we get any closer?

I don't think so.

I think the only way we could literally get closer is if I had a medical procedure and you were in the room with me.

Like, that is deal.

And I was doing it.

I was like,

give me the scissor.

Speaking of scissoring,

I'm three episodes into the hunting wives.

That is...

No, speaking of scissoring, because what in the Texas is literally going on on that show?

I'm obsessed with it because I'm obsessed with it.

I don't want, okay, kind of spoiler, but Des was like, what's it about?

And I was like, how do I explain it?

I said, Des.

It's for girls, though.

Like, it's a show for girls.

Like, it's for the girls.

And he's like, it's for the girls.

Well, let me see first.

Let me watch it first to determine and i was like no no no no because it i actually didn't watch the last episode because i was like uh

that's very coded what's going on it's very i have to shout out malin ackerman i feel like she's never acted like this before and she's so good in it yeah um but what makes it fun is because you think it's this stereotypical like oh ladies who brunch and spend their husbands money and don't do anything and this new girl comes in who's like very smart and stuff and you immediately think she's better than those women.

Then you realize those women are fucking feminists because they're just fucking each other and taking advantage of their husbands.

And I'm starting to think we've we've got it all wrong here.

I didn't see the element of like where they were all gonna like have sex with each other.

That like I was like, oh my god, I didn't see that coming.

Like when the first sexual thing happened, I was like, wait, that is so not what I thought.

See, I can't read certain things in the beginning.

I'm like, that was not what I was thinking.

I think they also wanted to surprise you.

Like, oh, why are her tits out?

That came out of nowhere.

I was like, wait, are they going to pop?

Yeah.

There is something about a show that I do like that when they give me that question where I'm like, wait a minute, are they about to hook up?

Like, that excites me.

I also think when that girl was being mean to her, I didn't realize she was, it's because she was jealous, not because she was just like being a bitch to the new girl.

Correct.

So now I'm trying to think like everyone, every girl's been mean to me.

I'm like, were you trying to fuck?

Yeah.

Are you trying to fuck?

Oh my god.

But that's why, like,

no, I just, I think it was very entertaining, the hunting wives.

I do have something that you guys have to watch.

Documentary about the biggest loser just came out on Netflix.

Like the TV show.

Yeah.

Did you watch the biggest loser?

The biggest loser we could be referring to a lot of people.

I mean,

a new thing at the end of the pod, we go, who's the biggest loser of the week?

And the biggest loser of the week.

Did you watch that show?

I didn't, but I feel like my grandma watched it.

So I feel like by osmosis, I feel like I watched a couple episodes.

I was really into it.

Really?

It was so like...

You'd see people be like, my life is ruined by my weight.

If I could lose weight, it would save my marriage and my children and my life.

And then you watch them get yelled at by Jillian Michaels, like really mean and then they weigh themselves and they lose 15 pounds and then you're like hooked you're like this person but when they reanalyze everything they realize like they're basically telling people like if you're fat you you suck like you're not a human yeah and and you can't control yourself around food when everyone everyone how were they losing it so fast though okay it turns out

well they were working out eight hours a day like professional athletes you just see them like on the treadmill puking like lifting tires and these are people who like haven't walked in years is that even safe so there's a doctor that was on the show that was like yo you can't this person's gonna have a heart attack yeah this person's going to die but obviously the producers were like shut the fuck up doctor yeah and they'd leave it to a reality yeah and they'd make them do embarrassing things like not good tv but also between us an emmy shut your fucking mouth

so and then they wanted people to get bigger and bigger and bigger to make it more exciting.

With the bigger the people are, the less they could, like,

do physically.

You got to start them off slow.

Then, caffeine pills were going around.

So, the, and then these people realized, I want to win.

They want to win $250,000.

So, this one guy was like, I was literally just drinking water and lemon and like maple syrup.

Like, I did a cleanse.

He said he was so dehydrated that there was blood in his urine, but he won.

But it was like, at what cost?

Some people left with eating disorders.

Some people, their metabolism was fucked forever and they gained the weight all the way back.

Some people were traumatized by the edit because they were given a villain edit.

And it's like, these people are just trying to lose weight.

And they were making some friends are not friends anymore because they made the friends fight.

Long story short, I was a little traumatized by a little PGSD.

But

at the time, the world was different back then.

And we were like,

they were transforming these people's bodies.

I would argue that.

I mean, I watched a show called The Swan.

I was gonna say, it was like, that was worse.

Look at this hideous specimen of a woman.

We're gonna change her.

Don't worry.

You won't have to look at her anyway.

Like, that was truly insane.

And I think that did something to my brain chemistry.

And also, there was always this, like, I want to save my marriage.

Like, my husband doesn't like me because I'm fat.

And this woman told this great story where she went there to save her marriage because she was in a toxic marriage and she thought he would stop cheating on her if she lost weight.

Classic.

She survives all this crazy stuff, gets back, looks gorgeous, and realizes, I fucking hate this guy.

Oh, that is the best.

And gets out of the marriage.

So it was less changing her body.

It was more she changed her mindset.

There's nothing like waking up.

There's nothing like waking up and being like, wait, you're a fucking loser and this is embarrassing for me.

And all my friends, I gotta go.

And all my friends want to go, truly.

You're like, now I have to go on an apology toward my friends.

God damn it.

No, you literally.

I'd be like, sorry, that was a weird time.

Thanks for sticking by me.

The ick is real.

And I want to.

It's so real.

I love it.

And I want to say, ladies, women have been getting the ick since the beginning of the time, but they weren't allowed to because we weren't allowed to get divorces.

But now we can.

So, like, go off.

Like, have fun.

I love the idea.

That like nowadays we can have multiple husbands.

Yeah, like you've been watching like Gilded Age, they're trying to like normalize being divorced.

Cause like at that time, the only way you could get divorced was if one of you committed adultery

and

men, men were like accepted back into society, but like after a woman got divorced, even if she wasn't the one that cheated, she wasn't accepted back into society.

They were like, you're done.

Well, and it's

literally, you're done.

And it's just so crazy.

Like in this documentary, Mr.

and Mrs.

Murder, they're super religious and they're having a fair together.

And the guy's like, can you divorce your husband so we could be together?

Allegedly.

And she was like, no, but if you kill him, I think we can.

And it's like, that's not logical.

No, like.

God wouldn't like that.

I feel like God would be like, actually, get a divorce.

You know, it's really scary to think about.

And maybe this is like something like in your, I mean, you're 34, so I'm sure you've thought about it before.

I've had a lot of time.

How many

insane people there are?

And you're you're like,

you're allowed to do what I do in everyday life.

It's not safe for other people.

My favorite thing is when you see someone doing something in public and you're like, how did you make it here?

How did you get it here?

And I go through the same school system.

Okay.

The same school system.

And somehow you're like, you're being crazy.

You've seen someone at a restaurant, like, how they're acting.

And I'm like, you've been doing this for how many years?

And no one's punched you in the face.

Hello?

Is everyone okay?

Everyone needs to get a check.

Everyone needs to start summering more and just like calm it down.

Calm it down.

Calm down.

Summer Fridays.

Embrace it.

Embrace it.

Live it.

Learn it.

Put a summer Fridays mask on.

I feel like you just discovered summer this summer.

I did.

I'm like an alien.

Have you heard of this thing called Summer Summer?

Like it's a Sunday and it's like, what will I do?

I don't know.

I feel like a young Carrie Bradshaw.

I'm like, New York is my boyfriend.

I could do anything today.

The world is at my feet.

Shout out to teachers, even though they're so, so, so, so underpaid and undervalued.

But at least people were like, they've been dealing with kids all year.

Give them a summer.

Can I say something?

I do love clearing a teacher's list.

It's an adrenaline rush like no other.

I'm like, fuck yeah, they need those markers.

Are you kidding?

Yeah, but I also think the government shouldn't be making teachers have to ask people.

I know.

Pay for markers, okay?

I know.

I've actually shown

looking at the list.

I'm like, wait, this is like, these are such basic things.

Like that,

yeah, every school should have this.

Every school should have it.

Give them a clock.

How do they know when they're getting to the next?

And also, I will say, like, as a child, because I loved aesthetic, obviously I'm a pink aura.

I love them.

I judged a teacher by her room.

Okay.

I was like, okay, what's going on here?

No effort.

The season has been changed.

The feng shui is really off.

I'm like, really?

We're in November.

You still have apples up on your poster board, like, with all our names on it.

It's time for snowflakes, bitch.

Also, you're like, it's getting busy.

Like, let's get started.

No border?

Interesting choice.

No border.

You're also clashing.

Clashing colors.

I was very picky on classroom teacher's aesthetic.

I'm like, with that outfit, outfit, that's crazy work.

Crazy work.

I love teachers who were exacerbated.

Like, I thought it was so cool.

I don't think that's the word for what like that was.

No, but you know when like a kid would start acting out and the teacher would be like, Jerome, I'm not doing this with you.

Jerome.

Yeah.

No, teachers have such a like.

No, I don't know how they do it.

I don't know how they do it.

But I did see a TikTok actually because I'm like deep in, I feel like teacher TikTok.

Well, I'm on Amazon looking at so many teacher stuff.

My phone is like, you're a teacher.

Yeah.

I saw a teacher say, like, never once has she referred to going and being a teacher as going to work.

She always says, I'm going to school.

Yeah.

And teachers were like dueting it and being like, because one teacher was like, oh, no, I say like I have work.

And it's like.

Other teachers were like, it's not work.

It's going to school.

And I think that's like, I never thought of that, obviously, because like once I left school, I never thought about it again.

But some of the people like they love they loved school so it's like now they get to do it again and make it like amazing for the kids shout out to shout out to my teachers shout out to teachers because like i feel bad they're coming through a tough time it's gonna they're almost back in and it's scary final note final note

so i didn't tell you guys because there was drama going on with

grace and boots Yeah.

And I didn't want to upset the gigglers before it was like dealt with because I wanted to get it.

I really knew what was going on.

Yeah, I didn't want you guys like having this.

We're not going to say something that, and then you have more questions.

Corner's more questions.

And I don't want it heavy on your heart while you're going through your week.

Yeah.

So I'm ready to get Boots adopted.

And the nurse comes back and says, sorry, you can't bring her to Grace.

She has a fever.

And when a kitten has a fever, that's crazy.

Like, it's scary.

And I was like, is she going to die?

And they were like, we don't know.

So I text Grace and I'm like, hey,

Boots is is sick and could die.

And Grace was like, are you going to pay for my trauma therapy?

And I said, 100%.

This is all my fault.

It's an HR issue.

It's an HR issue that we will deal with separately and privately.

But she

imagines dealing with anything separately and also privately.

Could you imagine?

What a luxury.

What a luxury to deal with something separately and privately.

The Grace documentary, when it comes out, is going to be in a moment.

She's going to be faceless with her voice distorted.

There's going to be so many players and like

lore and like twists and turns.

It's crazy.

There's so many randoms.

So Boots is getting taken care of.

They're giving her some meds.

They're afraid she has this thing called FIP.

It's basically like feline coronavirus.

And then the vet takes her home to her house.

So we're like...

That weekend, we're like, oh no, like, is Boots being trafficked?

But

the vet was like making sure she's gonna be okay

finally this last week wait that was so nice of the vet no i know she went above and beyond boots has been fever-free for five days she's still gonna be on meds but grace has officially taken home boots as of yesterday so we all are cat moms and

that was quick you did a quick flip on grace how many years is that

like three

three it's pretty good

i mean mine was like a solid seven I know.

Well, that because we had some bumps in the road.

We had some bumps in the road.

We're very busy with our cats and busy summering.

I'm so busy summering, and I'm not even doing anything.

It's just me sitting in my apartment being like, leave me alone.

And going, should I put more tanning oil on?

You sicko.

You sicko.

I've literally been spending too much time in Jersey.

I'm just like, sorry, I'm trying to fit in.

Sorry, I want the girls to like me.

I'm like, hello.

Oh my god, you have to smell.

What is it?

It's, does it have like scent?

It smells amazing.

Yeah, it smells like it's mostly nuts.

It has

like joy.

Wine drop.

I mean, it's just like, I'm like, guys, I'm so sorry that you're getting such heat right now.

They need new colours.

A love letter to my danning wife.

They need something like, I mean, it did have a little SPM.

No.

Basically, it was a rotisserie chicken out there, and I loved every fucking second of it.

We love you guys so much.

Thank you for giggling with us and we'll talk to you next week.

Bye.

I use Uber Eats for everything.

And of course I'm ordering food all the time, but I don't just order food on Uber Eats.

I order everything.

I order from the pharmacy.

I order hair care items.

I order alcohol.

Whatever I need, I'm ordering it on Uber Eats.

Also, whenever I go to a hotel, I always seem to forget something from home.

So I'm ordering hairspray, I'm ordering bobby pins.

I just can't live without Uber Eats.

You can get grocery, alcohol, and everyday essentials in addition to restaurants and food you love, of course.

So in other words, get almost almost anything with Uber Eats.

Order now.

For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age, so please enjoy responsibly.

Product availability varies by region.

See app for details.

If there's one thing Abercrombie knows, it's denim.

They know how it should feel, how it should look, and all of their staple denim fits are always ahead of the trend.

Abercrombie's viral curve love denim fit has additional room through the hip and thigh to eliminate any waist gap, and the classic fit you know and love with a straighter line from waist to hip.

This is the way denim should feel: confident, easy, and like your butt has never looked better.

Shop Abercrombie denim in the app online and in store.