Giggling about showgirls, summering, and life in your 30s

Speaker 1 So, I recently had one of those moments where I stood in front of my closet and I said, I have nothing to wear while surrounded by hundreds of things I never touch.

Speaker 1 So, I started listing them on Depop, and honestly, it's amazing. You can sell the pieces you're over, and someone out there will be obsessed with them.
And the best part, there's no seller fees, none.

Speaker 1 So, the money you make actually stays in your pocket, which feels very chic. Plus, it's so easy.
I listed something while watching TV, and it sold before the episode even ended.

Speaker 1 Depop isn't just one aesthetic, either, it's all of them. Minimal, street wear, date night, whatever your vibe is, there's someone who shares it.

Speaker 1 So download the Depop app and list your first item today because your old outfit might be someone else's new favorite.

Speaker 1 And don't forget to tune in to our latest bonus episode where Hannah and I will take calls from the Giggly Squad Style Hotline.

Speaker 1 We're helping solve your fashion dilemmas, shopping woes, and style questions. Submit yours now at gigglystylehotline.com for a chance to get your question answered by us on the show.

Speaker 1 Depop, where taste recognizes taste. This episode is sponsored by Tito's Handmade Vodka.
Okay, be honest. Are you a Thanksgiving turkey trot person or a Thanksgiving rot person?

Speaker 1 Maybe you grew up in a trot family, married into one, or somehow found yourself lacing up while it's still dark out, jogging a 5k while everyone else is home with a parade and football.

Speaker 1 If that sounds familiar, the trot ends now. This year, skip the sprint and join the sit-down.

Speaker 1 The Tito's Turkey Rot turns the holiday hustle into a moment to unwind, raise a glass, and do some good, all from the comfort of your couch.

Speaker 1 Whether you're someone who wakes up early on Thanksgiving morning to turkey trot or prefers a lazy morning rot or decides to turkey trot then go home and rot, no matter what you choose, you can give back while you kick back.

Speaker 1 Register for free now at titosvodka.com/slash turkey rot. Tito's is kicking things off with a $500,000 donation to Meals on Wheels America.

Speaker 1 And for every turkey rot registration, they'll add $5 up to $1 million. So settle in, relax a little, and make Thanksgiving morning your own kind of tradition.
No early alarm required.

Speaker 1 Distilled and bottled by Fifth Generation, Incorporated Austin, Texas, 40% alcohol by volume, savor responsibly.

Speaker 1 Sup, gigglers. Harriet, fix the Wi-Fi.

Speaker 2 Manifest that shit.

Speaker 2 We can't be managed.

Speaker 1 I mean, the day just got away from me.

Speaker 2 Hello, my glowing aura gigglers. I hope you all recovered from our cat readings from last week.
Welcome back to Giggly NPR.

Speaker 1 I know that we say like, okay, let's start the pod, but every time then you actually start, I'm like, oh my god, I'm not ready.

Speaker 2 Okay, can I say my most intrusive thought?

Speaker 1 And I remember like what we don't get ready.

Speaker 2 We don't get ready, but my intrusive thought is like, it hit me like yesterday that like a lot of people listen to this podcast.

Speaker 1 No, sometimes I get get actually I actually can't think about it sometimes because I'm like, oh, I am just sitting here shit talking. Like I haven't looked into anything.

Speaker 2 I remember nothing's come across my desk. It feels like the teacher just called your name and you're like, okay, time to wing some shit.

Speaker 2 I go, first of all, I disagree with what was said before me. Second of all, I'm going to add on to the thing the other girl said, and I agree.
Next.

Speaker 1 That is a fear that like still haunts me of being called on in class and you are have not been paying attention at all.

Speaker 1 And you're like, oh, how many times did you have to be like, I have, I don't know.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 I was a really good student in high school. So I was like, I literally was that annoying person.
I was like, pick me. Pick me.
I was such a pick me.

Speaker 2 But then in college, I didn't have time to study because I was. Playing tennis.
Yeah. So for the first time ever, I was like trying not to make eye contact with teachers.

Speaker 2 When they'd asked the question, I'd like pretend I dropped my pencil.

Speaker 2 No, it was just, I like kept dropping my pencil whenever they asked the question. I'd be like, I'm fine.

Speaker 1 No, my tricks knew no bounds. No bounds.

Speaker 2 I mean, this look, this podcast is about cheating in school. Yeah,

Speaker 1 girls had a sore throat. I was like, you have to hit them with an itchy eye.
You have to go, you have to go so highbrow, they're not expecting it.

Speaker 2 Wait, do you know what we didn't address at all? What?

Speaker 2 My birthday.

Speaker 2 We forgot.

Speaker 2 We forgot. My birthday.
Stasi Schroeder's shaking somewhere. She's shaking.

Speaker 1 I literally, I have your birthday gift on my counter and I was looking at it the other day and I was like, wait, is this like so stupid? Like the things that I got you? Because here's the thing.

Speaker 1 If you want something, you can go, you're like, okay, I'm going to go get this thing for myself. And so I feel like our gift giving, it's more like I saw something and I was like, Hannah needs this.

Speaker 2 Is it frog crocs? People have been sending me that a lot.

Speaker 1 It's just like, okay, do you want to know actually what it is?

Speaker 2 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 I'm so bad at gift giving.

Speaker 2 Gigglers, this is

Speaker 2 a press conference right now.

Speaker 2 Breaking news.

Speaker 1 I saw these salt, I'm on a whole like

Speaker 1 gift giving for like the home. So I saw these salt and pepper shakers that are shaped like olives.

Speaker 2 And I was like, Hannah needs this. Obviously.

Speaker 1 And then they had a matching like

Speaker 1 spoon rester for when you're cooking.

Speaker 1 And it's like a big ravioli and I was like Hannah needs see these are things I would never even know to get for myself like that's actually so good and so genius I'm like Hannah's not cooking but if people come over I want them to think like she has a spoon rest in the shape of a ravioli she's not fucking around she's not fucking around and she doesn't take herself seriously no

Speaker 2 she she has fun with it I did and then I had it engraved and it says happy birthday so like okay that's next level that was unnecessary you didn't need to do that but i do have to say i turned an interesting age

Speaker 1 what did you turn that's how interesting it is 34 yeah which is 40

Speaker 2 33 is still 30. once you turn 34 you're 40 and that's just madianna i know exactly what you're talking about because 35 35 is 40 34.

Speaker 2 It's the first time I actually, like, I've been, I'm young, I'm young. Yeah.
I'm now, but I had a little fear. I said, oh, I feel like Paige, when she turned 30, I'm scared.
And then

Speaker 2 I thought, wait, I'm 34. Yeah.

Speaker 2 No one can make me take a shot again. No one can make me go.
I just look, I don't need an excuse. I just go, I'm 34.
Look at my birth certificate. Yeah.
Check my ID. I'm 34.
That's illegal.

Speaker 1 You want to know what? I hated turning 30. Then I turned 31 and I realized 30 to 33, that's the same age.

Speaker 2 Same age. That's the same.

Speaker 1 Same age. Same age.

Speaker 2 I'm in a different realm. I actually do feel like people can call me ma'am now.

Speaker 1 34 to 37, same age.

Speaker 2 I have something profound to say. Yeah.

Speaker 2 For the girls in their 20s who are scared of getting in their 30s.

Speaker 1 It's the best.

Speaker 2 It's the best. And I have like an example for it.
You know, in your 20s and in your teens, how like when you dance, you feel like everyone's watching? Yes.

Speaker 2 And you're like a little, you can't enjoy it because you're like, that was a weird move I just did. Or like,

Speaker 2 that was stupid. Everyone could tell I'm trying too hard and I'm a bad dancer.

Speaker 2 Living in your 30s is is literally dancing.

Speaker 2 One, not giving a fuck if people can see you, but actually enjoying dancing.

Speaker 1 I don't identify with this much of you.

Speaker 2 You know what it was? I was in the car yesterday and I was feeling myself and I was dancing and I was literally like, this is 34, baby. I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 2 I'm like that weird person like in the club that everyone's like, is she okay? And it's like, well, she's having more fun than all of us. Like, that's me now.

Speaker 1 I've never felt more millennial than in this moment.

Speaker 2 Oh, that was so mean of you.

Speaker 1 30. You're dancing in the car, 34.
This is 34, baby. And I quote.

Speaker 2 Also, I was rapping Lil Wayne. Like, it was so.

Speaker 1 You were having a day. You get a license.

Speaker 2 I was having a millennial day. I stopped trying to be something I wasn't.

Speaker 1 You were like, where the fuck is my Hillary Duff CD?

Speaker 2 Like, truly?

Speaker 2 And I was like, I need...

Speaker 2 Well, Grace filmed a video of me and I kind of panicked. And in it, I did peace signs and I said something else.
And she stopped the video, and she goes, That's two strikes, two millennial strikes.

Speaker 2 So I've been in timeout.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you have to. And you're just like, you're summering.
Sorry, you're summering.

Speaker 2 Sorry, I'm summering. But I just feel like there's no expectations on me to baby fun anymore.
Yeah. To be like, you know, not having to be cool

Speaker 2 is where you find your actual cool.

Speaker 1 Well, it's

Speaker 1 relaxing.

Speaker 2 Like 20s, you had to be hot.

Speaker 1 I went out with my family this weekend. Choogie.

Speaker 1 So chuggy. And I heard my dad say, Paige is going to want to leave in like another hour anyway.
And I was like,

Speaker 1 first of all, spot on. And second of all, I would have gone then if someone presented the option.

Speaker 1 And third of all, I love that I'm like, I've hit an age where they're like, Paige doesn't want to keep going.

Speaker 1 And like, I even get hit with, old Paige would have loved this.

Speaker 2 and i'm like old page would have old page would have page would have loved this and you know what but new page has to go to bed and old page did everything she could she did and she has nothing left and let's embrace her and let's thank her i will never forget when we were at the time party and i said to you can we leave and you didn't hear me and i thought you didn't want to leave and there was like 10 seconds where i felt like i lost my best friend like i was looking around i was like i've lost her i've lost her to this part

Speaker 1 you're like her personalities she's different she's changing it's kind of like when your friend hangs out with another friend and then comes and hangs out with you they're like a little

Speaker 2 smell different yeah they smell different they're like oh it's like oh you're they say something like kind of funny and you're like where'd you learn that

Speaker 1 you're like you let you wait when did you go there

Speaker 2 I go, when did you ever use that vernacular before? I never approved that. I never approved that at all.

Speaker 1 Wait, vernacular vernacular is a great word.

Speaker 2 I've never said that word before, which is really good.

Speaker 1 Okay, we have to talk about this because, like, I know it's like late now.

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 2 oh, like, it's like it just like it happened.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but like, we only record once a week, so it's like we have to. Sorry, we're a week late, and that's the news.

Speaker 2 Also, we have so much news we cover on this pod. Like, we're catching up.

Speaker 1 You never got news a week late?

Speaker 2 Like, hello?

Speaker 1 Look alive.

Speaker 2 It's historical. It's literally historical.
Sorry, learn from history. Continue, Paige.

Speaker 1 Wait, you know what I keep thinking of?

Speaker 1 When I came to the Hamptons and you were like, well, obviously we're going to touch on the classics.

Speaker 2 I can't stop saying it.

Speaker 2 Also,

Speaker 2 because Des was there, I feel like we're low performing. Like, look at our friendship.
Look at this.

Speaker 1 We're like, wait, you don't know this story?

Speaker 2 Buckle in.

Speaker 2 We were setting each other up for jokes.

Speaker 1 We were performing.

Speaker 2 We're performers. Life of a showgirl.

Speaker 1 No, what I wanted to talk about was Taylor Swift going on Travis Kelsey's podcast.

Speaker 2 Okay, first of all, I love Travis Kelsey. I love Taylor Swift.
Something deep down within me, I don't like when girls help men in any capacity.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm so glad you worded it like that because

Speaker 1 here's what I want to say about it because I feel like people were tagging mean things and also people like in the comments on their own accord were like I'm so surprised she like did it on his podcast or like whatever.

Speaker 1 When you're in love, you do stupid shit. You will truly do anything to help that person.

Speaker 1 Why did I just say person like that? Person. Person.

Speaker 2 Person.

Speaker 1 You will do anything to like elevate that person or like,

Speaker 1 you know, like she obviously knew then he was going to be on GQ and she was probably like, wait, you know, it would be really cute if I came on your podcast. Everybody's wanting it.

Speaker 2 That's so right. And one thing about Taylor is she loves love.

Speaker 1 She loves love. She loves love.
So I really think anyone thinking that they were in a PR relationship for me, which I didn't think that.

Speaker 1 Maybe I did like in the very beginning, but like I didn't, I don't think that.

Speaker 1 But I feel like that kind of proved, no, they're not. Like she wanted to do this because she loves this man and she wants him to get those views and those clicks.
And

Speaker 1 you don't want a man that has no passion or a job. I mean, obviously he plays in the NFL, but like she's like, we're going to need to up your podcast listen.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like he's not going to play in the NFL forever. And like now he hosts a number one podcast.
Like,

Speaker 2 yeah. The truth is, is when you love someone, they are you.
Like, you are the same. So it's like her helping him.
It's not like that.

Speaker 2 It's more we don't know things. So we just see like, okay, she's perfect and she's helping him.
And look, look, charity is a great thing. Like more people should.

Speaker 1 Philanthropy is like the best thing on the planet.

Speaker 2 Yes. Like everyone should consider at least volunteering.

Speaker 2 But unless you're in love, don't go on his podcast. Don't go on his podcast.
Did you listen to it?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 You saw clippies, though?

Speaker 1 I saw clips. Here's the thing.
I think because

Speaker 1 I am on a podcast, I don't find enjoyment in listening to other people's podcasts.

Speaker 1 Because I'm like, oh my God, wait. Should I be doing that? Like,

Speaker 1 do I sound like that? Or, like, just random things, unless it's a very specific podcast that I want to listen to.

Speaker 2 That's a baby. There's a baby making biscuits behind me.

Speaker 1 That is a cute baby. Check the YouTube.

Speaker 2 This is latte.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. She looks AI.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay.
It's like Shah.

Speaker 1 Here's another thing.

Speaker 1 I've been getting duped with AI videos. I feel like a 65-year-old

Speaker 1 mom on Facebook, and I'm sending it to my kids. Like, look at this.

Speaker 2 Unless something happens to me in person, I don't trust what I read online. And I also don't trust what people are saying online.
I

Speaker 1 know.

Speaker 1 I don't believe, unless it's fucking online.

Speaker 2 I don't trust what we say online.

Speaker 2 I don't trust this pod. I don't trust other pods.
Unless it's fucking happens. If you see it with your eyes,

Speaker 1 in the room. Yep.
Unless I was in the room.

Speaker 2 Unless you stabbed the person.

Speaker 2 It didn't happen.

Speaker 1 No. I don't trust anyone else.

Speaker 2 What AI tricked you?

Speaker 1 A whale. It was a whale video.

Speaker 2 Oh, that'll do it. That'll do it.
Because you're not familiar with whales and their ways.

Speaker 1 I'm not specifically familiar, but I literally now check the comments for someone to be like, this is AI. And I'm like, oh, oh, my God.
Wait, one more thing I want to say about the Taylor Swift thing?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I did clock that she said a lot of giggly squad phrases. And not that we started any of those phrases.
We plagiarized all of them, most of them, like they're common phrases.

Speaker 2 We took words that were already invented and put them together. Yeah.

Speaker 1 She quoted,

Speaker 1 We Ride at Dawn.

Speaker 2 No, she didn't.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she did. She said we ride at Dawn about something.
No, she didn't. Then she said, I'm pretty sure she said women in STEM.

Speaker 2 No, she didn't.

Speaker 2 No, she didn't.

Speaker 1 I might have made that one out. I'm pretty sure

Speaker 2 she said, hello, gorgeous gigglers.

Speaker 2 I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 2 We know Telly's a giggler because she's smart, funny, and talented, and rich.

Speaker 1 And she has cats. And and cats.

Speaker 2 And she has cats. No, like, she's definitely a giggler.
And I have to just say,

Speaker 2 her coming out with another album, like.

Speaker 1 When does she sleep?

Speaker 2 It's so iconic because one thing that we do love, which is so funny because we pretend we don't, we love a hardworking girl. We love a hardworking girl.

Speaker 2 We love a girl that while people are talking shit about her, she's too busy working to even know what people are saying.

Speaker 1 No, that's literally like when Haley was like, sorry, I'm busy

Speaker 1 signing a billion-dollar deal. Like, I don't have time for it.

Speaker 2 And Taylor, throughout all her ups and downs in her life, has continued to create what she loves. And I also love this album, the showgirl element.

Speaker 1 I'm obsessed. Who doesn't love a little glitz and glamour?

Speaker 2 It's giving us on tour.

Speaker 1 No, the life of a showgirl, it really, it's tough.

Speaker 2 What if her next album's beta blocker? Beta blocker. Beta blocker blues.

Speaker 1 Okay, if she says beta blocker in one of the songs, then we know she's Taylor.

Speaker 2 Taylor, if you say beta blocker, we got you.

Speaker 1 Like, we we won't say anything speaking of big pharma

Speaker 1 I unfortunately was hit with another UTI this past week

Speaker 1 you hate to see it you hate to hear about it thoughts and prayers go out and I've realized that I get one every five months is like my sweet spot I feel like that's a lie I feel like if we rewind the track, Grace, Chris, rewind this,

Speaker 2 it's a little more often than every five months.

Speaker 1 My last one was in April. I checked my medical records.

Speaker 2 Oh, so you're counting when you get hospitalized for UTI?

Speaker 1 Yeah, when I have to take, go on literal antibiotics. I'm not talking about text messages where I'm like, sorry, can't come UTI.

Speaker 2 Not to mansplain you, but have you tried boric acid?

Speaker 1 Not a standalone, but if it's in any of my vitamins, then yeah.

Speaker 1 I take like

Speaker 1 D-mannose, I think it's called. And like I drink a powder vitamin every day for like strong

Speaker 1 bladders. And I mean, I'm doing the, I'm not just out here willy-nilly.
I'm putting in the work and I'm putting in the time.

Speaker 2 A company sent me like a boric acid thing that you just stick up your pussy.

Speaker 2 And it's supposed to be really good. So just look that up.
Not that you need more things sticking inside you because you've just, you put everything inside you at this point.

Speaker 2 So we don't even have a, we have too many variables to even have like a good experiment.

Speaker 2 Wait, are you still on your UT UTI?

Speaker 1 I actually finished my antibiotic yesterday.

Speaker 2 Did you call it a UT?

Speaker 1 UT, I feel like it is Bammer Rush right now, and I feel like I would be like, Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 UTI.

Speaker 2 Gamma, Gamma, UTI.

Speaker 2 But here's what I'm here to say.

Speaker 1 I wasn't in New York City when I felt it hit. And like, that's when I go into pure panic mode.
I don't think people realize that, remember One Medical? Like, it was a separate app? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That Amazon owns one medical now, and you can literally go on your Amazon account, go on One Medical, type, like text to a freaking doctor and be like, Hey, I have a UTI.

Speaker 1 And they're like, Cool, where's your pharmacy? And they just send it. I got an antibiotic in 20 minutes.

Speaker 2 Amazon is taking over. They're doing same-day stuff, which is like coming for Instagram.
Amazon is getting very powerful.

Speaker 1 They're getting really powerful.

Speaker 2 And although that is terrifying,

Speaker 1 I am employed by them.

Speaker 1 I'm here to say I'm for the one medical.

Speaker 2 Like, I. No, one medical is amazing.
I use it.

Speaker 2 It's amazing. You guys, this is a health podcast.

Speaker 1 This is a health podcast. Health podcast.

Speaker 1 This is like tips and tricks on living life. Like, this is just something I've experienced in my everyday life, and

Speaker 2 I'm proud of it.

Speaker 1 I do keep getting tagged in random TikToks of like, you might have a six-month-old STD. And I'm like, guys.

Speaker 2 No, because one thing thing in the Gigglers are looking out for us.

Speaker 1 But leave me out of that one.

Speaker 1 It's not. Oh, that's what Taylor Swift said.
She said it's none of my business. She said that there might be, and you want to know what, bitch?

Speaker 1 I agree. She babies.
There might be headlines about me, and my name could be in headlines, and it's still none of my business.

Speaker 2 Did she say that?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 Oh my God. I love it.

Speaker 1 And I've never felt more seen because I'm like, wait, I could be, I could be the subject of an entire...

Speaker 1 Why was I just going to say eulogy? That's so scary.

Speaker 1 That's when someone dies.

Speaker 2 I was the thing. I wanted to make sure that I was a bad person.
Words are powerful. Words are powerful.
Let's pick the right one.

Speaker 1 And it might be none of my business.

Speaker 2 And the none of my business tour starts in September. Get your tickets now.

Speaker 2 No, none of my business, the concept is so powerful because if you, we're in a world where you can make everything your business, and as humans, we cannot consume so much information about ourselves, about our friends.

Speaker 2 It's not natural. No, so that's why, that's why trad wives are coming back.

Speaker 2 We need a break, that's why trad wives are coming back. That's why maybe the Amish, we're on to something,

Speaker 1 like a calm.

Speaker 2 Should we do, should we start like an Amish, but like where the women are allowed to speak?

Speaker 2 Or is that Scientology?

Speaker 1 It's just, I don't want to be in a I want to be alone.

Speaker 2 It's just definitely

Speaker 2 pods.

Speaker 1 Pods. I just want to be alone like 80% of the time.

Speaker 2 I want to invent a social media where

Speaker 2 it just shows you what you need to know.

Speaker 2 Like, and you put it in. Like you're literally like, I need a cat video, a recipe, and that's it.
Like, I think information actually needs to be.

Speaker 1 We're on overload. No, that's why I keep saying like, I need Andy and a camera in Pamela Anderson's home, just watching her like do laundry, fold laundry, load the dishwasher.

Speaker 1 I want calm, soothing energy at all times.

Speaker 1 If I couldn't have loved Majori enough, now I love it even more because of Emma Navarro. She's the brand's first ambassador and a tennis star.
Majori just launched play for the 2025 U.S. Open.

Speaker 1 It is truly my favorite time of year. And Majori's modern, stackable designs are great for on and off the court.

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Speaker 1 I love this time of year because it's cozy sweater season and there's not as much tight clothing, but the one thing that will ruin cozy sweater season is if you're wearing a bra that's super uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1 You guys know that I'm all about daily urinary tract support and that's why I'm obsessed with Wisp.

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Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored by Tito's Handmade Vodka. Okay, be honest.
Are you a Thanksgiving turkey trot person or a Thanksgiving rot person?

Speaker 1 Maybe you grew up in a trot family, married into one, or somehow found yourself lacing up while it's it's still dark out, jogging a 5K while everyone else is home with a parade and football.

Speaker 1 If that sounds familiar, the trot ends now. This year, skip the sprint and join the sit-down.

Speaker 1 The Tito's Turkey Rot turns the holiday hustle into a moment to unwind, raise a glass, and do some good, all from the comfort of your couch.

Speaker 1 Whether you're someone who wakes up early on Thanksgiving morning to turkey trot or prefers a lazy morning rot or decides to turkey trot then go home and rot, no matter what you choose, you can give back back while you kick back.

Speaker 1 Register for free now at titosvodka.com/slash turkey rot. Tito's is kicking things off with a $500,000 donation to Meals on Wheels America.

Speaker 1 And for every turkey rot registration, they'll add $5 up to $1 million. So settle in, relax a little, and make Thanksgiving morning your own kind of tradition.
No early alarm required.

Speaker 1 Distilled and bottled by Fifth Generation, Incorporated Austin, Texas, 40% alcohol by volume, savor savor responsibly. Hey guys, it's Paige from Giggly Squad.

Speaker 1 There's an all-new season of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives now streaming on Hulu. Mom Talk might have started as a sisterhood, but these Latter-day Saints are no angels.

Speaker 1 This season, there's new secrets, lies, and truths coming out, and you won't want to miss all the drama.

Speaker 1 Watch the new season of the Hulu original, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for Bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 2 Um, speaking of information, yeah,

Speaker 2 Have you heard that almond nails are millennial?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's why I switched to square.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait, you're a bitch.

Speaker 1 Because I was like, fucking bitch.

Speaker 2 I saw you go square, and you didn't tell me why.

Speaker 2 You didn't tell me why. You just did it.
Listen,

Speaker 2 and you were laughing at me behind my back, being like, look at the stupid millennial.

Speaker 2 I knew you were mouthing that to Grace. I knew you were mouthing that to her.
She goes, look at the stupid millennial with her almond nails fucking in my defense.

Speaker 1 in my defense, I was never an almond girly. I was always square.
And then I went almond for a couple months.

Speaker 2 I can't handle how you're saying almond right now.

Speaker 1 No, almond. Almond.
Almond.

Speaker 2 Almond.

Speaker 1 Almond.

Speaker 2 Stop. So

Speaker 2 I guess you are saying the L. I say almonds because I'm not a freak.

Speaker 2 Almond. Almond.

Speaker 1 You're a bitch.

Speaker 2 You're a bitch.

Speaker 2 You're a real problem. You're a real problem.

Speaker 2 Remember, you just repeat what your brother said, and you'd be like, stop it. And I'd be like, stop it.

Speaker 2 Sorry, I've been hanging out with toddlers.

Speaker 1 I was a little sister, so I was the one fighting for my life.

Speaker 2 Well, I've been playing with toddlers all weekend, and I finally found the perfect game.

Speaker 2 She pretends, because all they want to do is improv. Yeah.
And we did too many like racing.

Speaker 2 We're just improving.

Speaker 2 Pack it up.

Speaker 2 She walks in the room and I said, give me a motive. What is my

Speaker 2 character?

Speaker 1 No, we're. We're describing kids playing as literal.

Speaker 2 We are riffing. Okay, do you want to know the kind of riffing we're doing? So first I see her and I have to make her laugh.
So I said, Farty poopy Bobby, because that's her brother.

Speaker 2 She loves when we shit it on her little brother. Yeah.
She starts laughing and she goes, Farty Poopy des. And I start laughing.
And then I go, Farty poopy bed.

Speaker 2 And then we're just naming everything in the room. And this bitch was quick.
Yeah. And next thing you know, I'm like, for

Speaker 2 objects.

Speaker 2 But then

Speaker 2 she would ask where butter is, and I'd be like, butter's scared. And sometimes butter hisses.
She's scared. So then she walks in this morning and she goes, hi, butter.

Speaker 1 So I go, Meow.

Speaker 2 And she goes, My name is Hannah. And we don't like Lois.

Speaker 2 And I, and so then I hiss.

Speaker 1 it Hellenovella? That's just

Speaker 2 no, the drama.

Speaker 2 But then she's like, okay, butter, come cuddle. And I realized I could lay down, close my eyes, and that's the game.
So she was like literally petting my hair and I was going,

Speaker 2 and I was like, this is fucking perfect. So I literally like napped for 45 minutes.
And she was... being me.
She was wearing sunglasses being like, butter, don't be mean to Lois.

Speaker 2 She goes, Lois is a nice person.

Speaker 2 Don't be mean. And I go, and she goes, butter, stop it.
And poor Butter never wanted to be a part of any narrative.

Speaker 1 No, this is theater.

Speaker 2 And then sometimes she, like, throws in a new spin on things that I like, she should be a producer.

Speaker 1 This is community theater at its finest. And we need to stop saying children are playing pretend.
They're artists. And they're improv.
They're comedians.

Speaker 2 Do you ever see those kids who like remember things from past lives on Instagram?

Speaker 1 I'm obsessed with them. I hope to have one one day.

Speaker 2 So I tried to get that out of Lois. She said something.
She was like...

Speaker 1 Did you ask Lois what your aura color is?

Speaker 2 Well, Lois's aura color is pink and purple. My God.
Obviously.

Speaker 1 Obviously.

Speaker 2 I'm going to ask her. That's a really good question.
She was like, you were red because you were a cunt, and now you're better.

Speaker 2 And then you went to some, you did some EMDR therapy, and you're much better.

Speaker 2 She's perfect. I love her.
She's perfect.

Speaker 1 Is she still there?

Speaker 2 Yeah, she's running around right now. She's going to make a cameo later.
She'll come in and say, and say, Giggly squad.

Speaker 2 Oh, I did go. I was going like, and she looked at me and she goes, there's no spitting in this house.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. You're a literal mom.

Speaker 2 In my own house. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I said, valid. That was gross.
I am so sorry.

Speaker 1 What are like three-year-old girls into? She's three, right?

Speaker 2 Two? Yeah. She loves bluey.

Speaker 2 and familiar. She it's like very good.
We actually watched Pokemon, which I remembered, and I was like, wait, this is iconic.

Speaker 2 Yeah, um, she loves cats, little kittens, so we're kind of the same person.

Speaker 1 Yeah, um, she loves talking shit about her brother.

Speaker 2 She literally will be like,

Speaker 2 Bobby, Bobby spilled a water all day. She's going up to people going, Bobby spilled a water.

Speaker 1 We, I'm obsessed with that. She goes, I'm so happy.
Hold them accountable.

Speaker 2 She goes, I know you're

Speaker 2 a young man. Is all happy and never made a mistake before? Literally just spilled a water.

Speaker 1 Three-year-old girls, three-year-old girls, really.

Speaker 1 I feel like back to Mystic Michaela,

Speaker 1 society knocks things out of them because the boundaries in which a three-year-old little girl has,

Speaker 1 standing firm.

Speaker 2 So these, she made a friend yesterday. Also, I wish we could make friends like three-year-olds do.
Lois is very social, though. Like, she sees someone and she's like, Okay, we're playing.

Speaker 2 Like, that's what we do. And her, this girl were like singing together and performing.
And I was like, This is like something healed in me. Speak of the little devil.
She's just seen me.

Speaker 2 Good thing she doesn't know how to open the door. She's very confused by doorknobs.
So, she's not getting in.

Speaker 1 You know, and

Speaker 1 it comes with age.

Speaker 2 I am obsessed with her. I want to freaking eat her.
Um, oh, wait, I also had one more, like, really important note. Yes, Italians

Speaker 2 calling

Speaker 2 something a panini

Speaker 2 is like dramatic. It's a toasted sandwich.
It's not a whole different type, it's just toasted. And they're like, oh, do you want a panini?

Speaker 2 Toasted.

Speaker 1 There's whole industries built

Speaker 1 on basically just a toasted sandwich.

Speaker 2 Yep.

Speaker 1 Yep. That they've created this entire lore that it's a completely different cuisine.

Speaker 1 Like a panini?

Speaker 2 I mean, is it pressed? Yes, but still not enough.

Speaker 1 I argue the question, is a bacon, egg, and cheese a panini?

Speaker 2 I would say, because it's not pressed, it's not, but like, is a tuna melt a panini?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'd say yes.

Speaker 2 I would argue.

Speaker 1 Yes. If I was under oath, I would testify that yes, a tuna milk is a pineapping.

Speaker 2 Wait,

Speaker 2 can you please do the cousin Vinny quote when she's under oath?

Speaker 1 Wait, this is so funny that you're asking me this because yesterday I was at the track with my whole family and they were like, Mage,

Speaker 1 do the thing.

Speaker 2 Do the misery.

Speaker 1 What part was I?

Speaker 1 The defense is wrong.

Speaker 1 My father was a mechanic, my father's father was a mechanic, and my brother's a mechanic. So yeah, I'm an expert.

Speaker 2 Imagine you're a deer, and you're prancing along. You spot a brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water, and then bam, a fucking bullet hits you in the head.

Speaker 2 You think you'd give a damn what the guy who shot you was wearing?

Speaker 1 Now I ask you.

Speaker 1 That is the greatest movie of all time. I mean, there's a tomay.

Speaker 1 Did she win an Oscar for that? Because if not, absolutely robbed.

Speaker 2 She wore a Unitard.

Speaker 1 The whole time. You know? The whole time.

Speaker 2 The UTIs that woman had to suffer.

Speaker 1 No, I'm obsessed with that movie.

Speaker 2 Oh, I remember what I was going to say about Lois. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 1 This week is all over the place, and we apologize because literally, I can't do anything but quote Kylie. We're summering.

Speaker 2 I'm literally, I'm in the thick of summering.

Speaker 1 I'm in the throes of it.

Speaker 2 We're in the throes of it. And we forgot how to form brain cells.

Speaker 1 No, truly, anyone that I work with currently, right now,

Speaker 1 I've been sending text messages being like, sorry, I'm just like really not trying to work the month of August. And I really,

Speaker 2 Grace literally called me. She's like, how do we get Paige to respond to a text? I go, she's summering, babe.

Speaker 1 Grace and Josephine, I'm like, hey, quick update. I won't be in anywhere.

Speaker 2 I called you and I was like, hey, you can't block Grace.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I would like to bring the European Union to America for the month of August.

Speaker 2 We're all off. I dare you to change your email to be like, thanks.
I'm out of office. I'll be returning in 2027.

Speaker 1 I would love to. I would literally love to.
People are like planning things for the fall. I'm like, guys.

Speaker 2 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 Stop, let's live in the present.

Speaker 2 Let's live in the moment.

Speaker 1 They're like, we need decisions today.

Speaker 2 I'm like, I can't. The only thing I was going to say about Lois was that she said something like, when I was in my mommy's belly.
She said something.

Speaker 2 So then I immediately clocked that and I said, what else did you see when you were in mommy's belly? Do you remember what happened before you were in mommy's belly?

Speaker 2 And she looked at me and she was like, I don't know. And I'm like, Was there a war?

Speaker 1 Oh my god, do you think Lois is reincarnated?

Speaker 2 I don't know, but I'm getting to the bottom of it. Yeah, I'm just asking her light questions.

Speaker 1 I'm like, You're just peppering her with a little.

Speaker 2 Do you remember how the pyramids were built? Were you there?

Speaker 1 Imagine.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Those videos freak me out, but I do have to make an announcement.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 my summer's like

Speaker 2 about to be over. Why? Oh, because you're going on tour.

Speaker 2 No, before that,

Speaker 2 my Super Bowl is happening.

Speaker 2 The U.S. Open begins.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. People don't know this.
The U.S. Open is two weeks.
Yep. And I've never been.
I'm basically playing in the U.S. Open this year.
No one's asked me.

Speaker 2 I haven't gotten a call from anyone, but I'm going to be there.

Speaker 2 I'm so

Speaker 2 booked up. Yeah.
These next two weeks. I'm going to matches.
I'm interviewing people. I'm basically, it's, sorry, there's a cat on my shoulder.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you think there's any questions about the U.S. Open that we could help the girls with? Because I feel like some girls are going to go.

Speaker 2 Like, what should the girls be wearing this year as opposed to other years?

Speaker 2 Sorry, that was so much fun.

Speaker 1 Sorry, you've stumped me.

Speaker 1 That was.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I feel like I get asked this a decent amount when it comes to like, what are you wearing?

Speaker 1 I think, like, Morgan Riddle and Paige Lorenz really like do such a good job, I mean, of what they wear and such good inspo.

Speaker 1 But it's like any other preppy event. Like you're wearing, it's preppy.

Speaker 1 So you're like you have to think East Coast, Nantucket, Martha's Vineyard, the Hamptons, like you have to think that aesthetic and that vibe. And anything and it.

Speaker 1 whatever you would wear during the day there,

Speaker 1 you would wear to the U.S. Open.

Speaker 2 Do you know what I think Hannah-coated Hannah-coated-wise, what I wore once that I liked was kind of these like baggy khakis or like white pants.

Speaker 2 I had worn it with a tube top, which I haven't been wearing lately.

Speaker 1 But well, you're 34. No, I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding. I'm that was a joke.
That was a joke.

Speaker 2 No, you're so valid. I'm 34 with a long torso.
I'm not wearing Amazon $12 bandeaus anymore.

Speaker 2 Like, it's that's over. Let's stop playing.
Sorry games. Horrie.

Speaker 1 I wore the long tour. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's insane. It looks like a bandeau.

Speaker 2 I love Madeline Klein wore this, like, I love monochromatic, but she just wore like a buttoned-up like sweater and then like a like a Ralph Lauren hat.

Speaker 1 Like baseball hat.

Speaker 2 I love

Speaker 2 dress like a celebrity undercover, like a little bit at the U.S. Open.
It's like cute. Also, it's very sunny.
So if you do, if you do look good in hats, I I don't. I have a peanut head.

Speaker 2 I look insane with hats. Wear a little baseball cap with a cute little outfit.

Speaker 2 Have fun with somebody.

Speaker 1 I feel like saying that you don't look good in hats is so

Speaker 1 crazy to say.

Speaker 2 That's what someone with pretty privilege would say.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I look at you more than you look at you.

Speaker 1 Period.

Speaker 2 That was crazy.

Speaker 2 That was crazy because we both know I don't look in the mirror at all.

Speaker 1 I don't look in the mirror. Do you know I tell everyone that too?

Speaker 1 I'm like, do you know that Hannah doesn't look in the mirror?

Speaker 1 I'm like, right before she showers, she doesn't even glance. She's so healthy.
She's an epitome of healthy. I'm like, that's so fucking healthy.

Speaker 2 Because you know what? What I look like is none of my business.

Speaker 1 None of my business. But as someone who looks at you more, you don't, I wouldn't walk by you and be like, damn, that girl's

Speaker 1 so fucking small.

Speaker 1 She never wears that goddamn hat. We'll never find her.

Speaker 2 See what it is. My hair is also like, not to brag, it's like kind of thick and frizzy.
So sometimes when I put a hat on or wear my hair down, I feel like insane. Like my hair is a hair.

Speaker 1 So you have great, thick, long hair for a baseball hat. Are you kidding? It's like, that's the sexiest for a baseball hat.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, it's like, oh, I'm a little athletic on top of like great hair.

Speaker 2 I'm going to post a vlog. I'm going to post a photo of me in a baseball hat and I'll let the gigglers decide.
They'll vote. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I would like that.

Speaker 1 Because you said the same thing about pulling your hair back.

Speaker 1 We argued this episode.

Speaker 2 I'm 34. Like, I can't handle this.
I can't change now. No, we can't handle this.

Speaker 2 I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to start using that as me.

Speaker 2 Sorry.

Speaker 2 My best friend is 34. Wait, I'm 10 times older than you right now.
I think I'm coming. Yeah, you are.

Speaker 2 So maybe listen to someone wise who knows that hats look stupid on her.

Speaker 2 But yeah, the U.S. Open is going to be fun.
I'm actually, I have a crazy thing happening. What? I'm going

Speaker 2 with Chelsea Handler.

Speaker 1 What day?

Speaker 2 But this is the like weird full circle moment. One, that I taught tennis to her when I was like 21 and she, she didn't remember.
Two, she loves tennis.

Speaker 2 And at one point, she was like sitting in the boxes of all the top tennis players. If you don't know what a box is, it's basically like the VIP table for the match.

Speaker 2 So in someone's box is like their significant other, their coaches, their psychiatrists, their managers, their best friends. So like, wait, really? They're a psychiatrist?

Speaker 1 Sometimes.

Speaker 2 Damn.

Speaker 2 Wait, you know, like, we should bring a psychiatrist on tour with us. It's, it's expensive, but it may be worth the investment.

Speaker 1 I would love it.

Speaker 2 Like, their mental coach, they call it, but I'm like, it's a psychologist, let's be honest. Yeah, got it.

Speaker 2 So, because you never know. You never know when you're going to need one.
Pantiga, you never know. Pantigon, you never know.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 like, Kim Kardashi would be in Serena's box all the time. Like, it's like cool.
So, Chelsea Handler was sitting in Maria Sharipova's box back in the day. And I was like, oh, my God, that's so cool.

Speaker 2 Like, imagine to be a fun while I'm sitting in Sharipova's box watching with Chelsea Handler in your ear.

Speaker 2 I'm going. I'm sitting with Chelsea Handler in a box.

Speaker 1 Whose box?

Speaker 2 I don't know. Oh, like, I don't know.
I honestly don't know. It's very, I don't have any information.
Like, when Chelsea Handler says, hey,

Speaker 2 car is picking you up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Beat ready.

Speaker 2 I'm afraid.

Speaker 1 This is very exciting.

Speaker 2 What if I do MDMA at the US Open?

Speaker 1 Tell me how it is. Wait, you're going on Wednesday?

Speaker 2 I'm going Wednesday. No, but we're going the following week.

Speaker 1 Because it doesn't start till the following week.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this is like a mixed doubles promo. Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it.

Speaker 2 But what I'm saying, we're going on the following week.

Speaker 1 And I can only go, well, I really only go once a year.

Speaker 2 You, yeah, you make your appearance.

Speaker 1 Sometimes I'll go more if it's like a,

Speaker 1 if it, my schedule allows it. True.
But this year I thought I wasn't going to be able to go at all, but I'm going, we're going one time together because then I have to go away for a wedding.

Speaker 1 So I'm missing all of it pretty much.

Speaker 2 Italy thing?

Speaker 1 I have to go to Tuscany for a wedding, and I'm.

Speaker 1 So very excited because one, I've never been to Tuscany, and two, like,

Speaker 1 this is black tie, honey.

Speaker 1 Like, this is an extravaganza of a wedding so i'm like very excited i have i have no looks obviously but again how many looks do you have to do before i go to italy i like to keep the bar low will i have

Speaker 1 like a welcome party a rehearsal dinner and then the wedding so i have three looks i need to do

Speaker 1 oh my god no it's a lot of pressure it's a lot of pressure to go to tuscan no i saw a tick dunk the other day and it was just like i think it was christina kirkman oh yeah she's so funny I think it was Christina Kirkman.

Speaker 1 She said something about like

Speaker 1 men, like packing for a trip, like versus a guy. It's just like, okay, they'll bring like 12 pairs of shorts and 12 t-shirts.
Great.

Speaker 1 And you're like doing the math, like, okay, if we're there for seven days and I need three outfits a day, it's like, that, well, that's 21 outfit. And like, that it's

Speaker 1 a seven-day trip will put me over the edge.

Speaker 2 Paige, I was talking to a male comic the other day, and I was like, what do you wear on your tour?

Speaker 1 And that's when I love the honesty from the men. Like the earnest in their voice where they're truly perplexed is one of my favorites.

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Speaker 1 That's symbiotica.com slash giggly squad for 20% off plus free shipping.

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Speaker 1 I used to summer in Newport, Rhode Island. Shut up.
Often as a young child.

Speaker 2 Really?

Speaker 1 Yes, I think that's why I love period pieces because sometimes we we went to Newport maybe like twice

Speaker 1 in the summer and we

Speaker 1 and as a child I loved going through the mansion tours. We would do so many mansion tours and I was obsessed with it.

Speaker 1 And like you go in like the Vanderbilt house and like all these different houses and they give you like all it used to be like a tour guide. Now it's like headphones.
It's like not as good.

Speaker 1 But I think that's why I love period pieces because as a young child, I loved it.

Speaker 2 I've never been to Newport. Well, a lot of Italians are in Rhode Island.

Speaker 1 A lot of Italians are in Rhode Island.

Speaker 2 She's so random. Like, public schools in Newport are so random.

Speaker 2 There's probably no public schools in Newport. But I'm going for the Tennis Hall of Fame, which is so funny because I kind of skipped the whole like playing professionally and just went from

Speaker 2 being comedian to going to the Tennis Hall of Fame. But I'm just like going with my parents in Des

Speaker 1 and Wait, you're getting inducted into the Tennessee?

Speaker 2 but I'm there for it. Maria Sharipova is getting inducted.
Got it, got it.

Speaker 1 Because you know, my manifestations are like, I was like, wait a second, that manifestation might be actually illegal and like not fair.

Speaker 2 What is the equivalent?

Speaker 1 I just like, okay, you know how like all men, like men are like, if I, like, if I could have trained, I could have been in the NFL.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, if I was like, if I was like an inch taller, I totally could have been in the NBA, like shit like that. Do women have an equivalent?

Speaker 1 I don't think so because because I feel like we are realistic in certain aspects.

Speaker 2 Women are more than realistic. We're like mean to ourselves where we're like, oh, like I'll be like, oh my God, you're so good at, you know,

Speaker 2 makeup. You could be a professional makeup artist.
No, no, no, I couldn't. No, no, no, I could never do that.
And I'm like, no, you're literally doing it. No, I couldn't.

Speaker 1 I mean, literally seven minutes ago, you were like, I don't wear hats. Hats are not for me.

Speaker 2 I hate hats. I can't wear a hat.

Speaker 2 I could be so many things if I could wear a hat, but I can't.

Speaker 1 Men will literally wear a hat on the tippy top of their head, tippy-tippy top of their head, not even on their head. And they'll be like, this looks cool.
This looks good.

Speaker 1 And my poor friend won't even go near a hat without breaking out in time.

Speaker 2 And melanoma is looming. Okay? Melanoma is looming.
Put your sunscreen on. No, men wearing their hat on the tippy top.
Who let them?

Speaker 1 Who let them? I have to confess something, and it's so bad because I know that I'm out.

Speaker 2 You thought it was.

Speaker 1 I'm switching topics, actually.

Speaker 2 You're like, we're done.

Speaker 1 Something else popped in my hand.

Speaker 2 Nope. Bear, pass.
Sorry.

Speaker 1 This is so bad. And I know because I'm like on here every week being like, I love my skincare.
And like, I do this and I do that. I put tanning oil on the other day.

Speaker 2 Paige DeSorbo.

Speaker 1 Not on my face. I didn't put it on my face.

Speaker 2 Where did you put it? On your pussy? That's why you're on the page.

Speaker 1 I saw it. I saw it.

Speaker 2 Did you perineum?

Speaker 1 No, I didn't. No, I didn't.

Speaker 1 But I still want to do that. I saw it.
It was just sitting there. It looked lonely.
I was like, I bet no one's used you in years.

Speaker 1 Everyone's talking bad about you. And you used to be my best friend.
And we had so many good times together.

Speaker 1 And I miss you. And so I did it on my stomach and my legs and my butt.
And I really did the back side of me. But here's in my defense, I feel like in Italy, I didn't really tan the back of me.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I had no interest in flipping over.

Speaker 2 That's where you're wrong. The back of you is none of your business.

Speaker 1 It's none of my business.

Speaker 2 I never once saw a girl have been like, whoa, back of her leg is not the same color as the front of her leg.

Speaker 1 Really? I have.

Speaker 1 Like, ever heard of flipping, bitch? Like, you can't fall asleep.

Speaker 2 So I've been playing tennis with a bathing suit on, and I didn't realize the bathing suit in the back has like a big circle in it because it's a one-piece, and the back is just a circle.

Speaker 2 So I have a full, just like circle of a tan on my back. But again, none of my business.
I didn't even know it was there. And I've been so peaceful until someone told me and I said, uh-uh.

Speaker 2 I don't want to know.

Speaker 1 Don't come to me with things about me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, don't talk shit behind my back, literally.

Speaker 2 Okay, for everyone listening, don't use tanning oil. Paige, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I'm not saying use it. I'm just, I'm confessing something.
Let me live. This is a safe space for me.

Speaker 2 True, I do like your honesty. That was really good.

Speaker 1 And you want to know what? I fucking liked it. It did.

Speaker 2 Now I have to step in.

Speaker 1 Now I have to step in. And it did exactly the same thing.

Speaker 2 First it's tanning oil, then it's heroin.

Speaker 1 Then then next thing you know you're stealing from your family and you're losing your job no you're tweaking out yeah tanning oil actually is a gateway drug because if you catch me with like a beach bomb subscription i'm like i'm just gonna go once a month stop me truly stop me because that's when i've gone too far you're passed out in the kitchen with tanning oil all over you and i'm like god damn it i gotta get her to work I'm just like, wait, what if I just try to?

Speaker 1 It was just like, it was a naughty thing. Look, I'm 32 years old.
That's my version of being naughty.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we're going to have to have a New Jersey intervention with you. I love it.
I'm obsessed.

Speaker 2 But I do have to say my favorite part about summer being tan is that like I don't have to wear as much makeup because it's like naturally contouring.

Speaker 1 It's the same with like having a bob. It becomes an accessory.
I'm like, I'll put this outfit on and then I'll wear my tan

Speaker 1 and I'm tan. So like I'll look better.

Speaker 2 It's so good, but I really feel bad because my, I saw a girl the other day wearing like a red sweater and I was like, it's fall.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought you were going to say not for my aura.

Speaker 2 Not for my

Speaker 2 not my aura, not my energy, not my season. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Summer for me is over. Like it's, I'm back to work.
I've been on bed rest.

Speaker 1 Okay, that is like really stressing me out because I feel like I have a good, solid like three weeks left of summer and you're like crushing my vibe.

Speaker 2 It's okay because you've been working like really hard every summer. So this, this, you need this.
But like September 4th, I'm off to Vancouver, Oakland.

Speaker 1 I had a tough year.

Speaker 2 We're out here.

Speaker 2 You did, but a beautiful year.

Speaker 1 I had a beautiful year.

Speaker 1 I had like one of the best years of my life, honestly, actually. Like all jokes aside, I actually think this was like,

Speaker 1 this isn't the top three best years of my life.

Speaker 2 I'm feeling a mental health moment coming.

Speaker 2 Because I also feel like you dealt with a lot of adversity, but you gained a lot of trust in yourself and you became more interesting. To me, at least.
I have to deal with you all the time.

Speaker 2 Because I'd be like, she comes down from the hotel room. I'm like, what mood is she going to be in?

Speaker 1 And you want to know what?

Speaker 1 Start normalizing people walking on eggshells around you. I like that about you.

Speaker 2 No, but Paige, because we've been together when we both have had mental breaks and we've survived it, could we get any closer?

Speaker 1 I don't think so.

Speaker 1 I think the only way we could literally get closer is if i had a medical procedure and you were in the room with me like that is

Speaker 2 and i was doing it

Speaker 2 i was like

Speaker 2 give me the scissor

Speaker 2 speaking of scissoring

Speaker 2 i'm three episodes into the hunting wives

Speaker 1 that is

Speaker 1 no speaking of scissoring because what in the texas is literally going on on that show i'm obsessed with with it because I'm obsessed with it.

Speaker 2 I don't want, okay, kind of spoiler, but

Speaker 2 Des was like, what's it about? And I was like, how do I explain it? I said, Des, it's for girls, though. Like, it's a show for girls.
Like, it's for the girls. And he's like, well, let me see first.

Speaker 2 Let me watch it first. Determine.
And I was like, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I actually didn't watch the last episode because I was like, uh-uh. That's very encoded.
What's going on?

Speaker 2 It's very, I have to shout out Malin Ackerman. I feel like she's never acted like this before, and she's so good in it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But what makes it fun is because you think it's this stereotypical, like, oh, ladies who brunch and spend their husbands' money and don't do anything.

Speaker 2 And this new girl comes in who's like very smart and stuff. And you immediately think she's better than those women.

Speaker 2 Then you realize those women are fucking feminists because they're just fucking each other and taking advantage of their husbands. And I'm starting to think we've, we've got it all wrong here.

Speaker 1 I didn't see the element of like where they were all gonna like have sex with each other. That, like, I was like, oh my God, I didn't see that coming.

Speaker 1 Like, when the first sexual thing happened, I was like, wait, that is so not what I thought. See, I can't read certain things in the beginning.
I'm like, that was not what I was thinking.

Speaker 2 I think they also wanted to surprise you. Like, oh, why are her tits out?

Speaker 1 That came out of nowhere. I was like, wait, are they going to pop? Yeah.

Speaker 1 There is something about a show that I do like that when they give me that question where I'm like, wait a minute, are they about to hook up? Like, that excites me.

Speaker 2 I also think when that girl was being mean to her, I didn't realize she was, it's because she was jealous, not because she was just like being a bitch to the new girl. Correct.

Speaker 2 So now I'm trying to think, like, everyone, every girl's been mean to me. I'm like, were you trying to fuck? Yeah.
Are you trying to fuck?

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. But that's why, like,

Speaker 2 no, I just, I think

Speaker 2 it was very entertaining, the Hunting Wives. I do have something that you guys have to watch.

Speaker 2 Documentary about the biggest loser just came out on Netflix.

Speaker 1 Like the TV show.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Did you watch the biggest loser?

Speaker 1 The biggest loser we could be referring to a lot of people.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 has no answer.

Speaker 2 Who's the biggest loser of the week?

Speaker 1 And the biggest loser of the week.

Speaker 2 Did you watch that show?

Speaker 1 I didn't, but I feel like my grandma watched it. So I feel like by osmosis, I feel like I watched a couple episodes.

Speaker 2 I was really into it. Really?

Speaker 2 It was so like you'd see people be like, my life is ruined by my weight. If I could lose weight, it would save my marriage and my children and my life.

Speaker 2 And then you watch them get yelled at by Jillian Michaels, like really mean. And then they weigh themselves and they lose 15 pounds.
And then you're like hooked. You're like this person.
But

Speaker 2 when they reanalyze everything, they realize like they're basically telling people like if you're fat,

Speaker 2 you suck. Like you're not a human.
Yeah. And

Speaker 2 you can't control yourself around food. When everyone, everyone, how are they losing it so fast, though? Okay, it turns out, well, they were working out eight hours a day, like professional athletes.

Speaker 2 You just see them, like, on the treadmill, puking, like, lifting tires. And these are people who, like, haven't walked in years.
Is that even safe?

Speaker 2 So there's a doctor that was on the show that was like, yo,

Speaker 2 you can't, this person's going to have a heart attack. You're going to be a good person.
Yeah, they're going to die. But obviously the producers were like, shut the fuck up, doctor.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they'd make them do a reality. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And they'd make them do embarrassing things.

Speaker 1 Not good TV, but also could win us an Emmy.

Speaker 2 Shut your fucking mouth.

Speaker 2 So, and then they wanted people to get bigger and bigger and bigger to make it more exciting. But the bigger the people are, the less they could like.

Speaker 2 Do physically. You got to start them off slow.
Then caffeine pills were going around.

Speaker 2 So the and then these people realized I want to win. They want to win $250,000.
So this one guy was like, I was literally just drinking water and lemon and like maple syrup. Like I did a cleanse.

Speaker 2 He said he was so dehydrated that there was blood in his urine, but he won. But it was like at what cost? Some people left with eating disorders.

Speaker 2 Some people, their metabolism was fucked forever and they gained the weight all the way back. Some people were traumatized by the edit because they were given a villain edit.

Speaker 2 And it's like, these people are just trying to lose weight.

Speaker 2 And they were making some friends who are not friends anymore because they made the friends fight long story short i was a little traumatized by a little prodigious

Speaker 2 but um

Speaker 2 at the time the world was different back then and we were like yeah

Speaker 2 they were transforming these people's bodies i would argue i mean i watched a show called the swan i was gonna

Speaker 1 that was worse that would look at this hideous specimen of a woman We're gonna change her. Don't worry.
You won't have to look at her anyway. Like, that was truly insane.

Speaker 1 And I think that did something to my brain chemistry.

Speaker 2 And also, there was always this, like, I want to save my marriage. Like, my husband doesn't like me because I'm fat.

Speaker 2 And this woman told this great story where she went there to save her marriage because she was in a toxic marriage. And she thought he would stop cheating on her if she lost weight.

Speaker 1 Classic.

Speaker 2 She survives all this crazy stuff, gets back, looks gorgeous, and realizes, I fucking hate this guy.

Speaker 1 Oh, that is the best.

Speaker 2 And gets out of the marriage. So it was less changing her body.
It was more she changed her mindset.

Speaker 1 There's nothing like waking up.

Speaker 1 There's nothing like waking up and being like, wait, you're a fucking loser and this is embarrassing for me. And all my friends, I gotta go.

Speaker 2 And all my friends want to go. Truly.
You're like, now I have to go and apology toward my friends. God damn it.

Speaker 1 No, you literally, literally, like, sorry, that was a weird time. Thanks for sticking by me.

Speaker 2 The ick is real. And I want to.

Speaker 1 It's so real.

Speaker 2 And I want to say, ladies, women have been getting the ick since the beginning of the time, but they weren't allowed to because we weren't allowed to get divorces. But now we can.

Speaker 2 So, like, go off, like, have fun. Um, I love the idea

Speaker 2 that, like, nowadays we can have multiple husbands.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, even watching, like, Gilded Age, they're trying to like normalize being divorced because, like, at that time, the only way you could get divorced was if one of you committed adultery

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 men, men were like accepted back into society, but like after a woman got divorced, even if she wasn't the one that cheated, she like wasn't accepted back into society. They were like, you're done.

Speaker 2 You're done. No, you're literally.
You're done.

Speaker 1 And it's just so crazy.

Speaker 2 Like in this documentary, Mr. and Mrs.
Murder, they're super religious and they're having a fair together. And the guy's like, can you divorce your husband so we could be together? Allegedly.

Speaker 2 And she was like, no, but if you kill him, I think we can. And it's like, that's not logical.
No, like

Speaker 2 God wouldn't like that. I feel like God really

Speaker 2 can't get a divorce.

Speaker 1 You know, it's really scary to think about. And maybe this is like something like in your, I mean, you're 34, so I'm sure you've thought about it before.

Speaker 2 I've had a lot of time. How many

Speaker 1 insane people there are? And you're like,

Speaker 1 you're allowed to do what I do in everyday life. It's not safe for other people.

Speaker 2 My favorite thing is when you see someone doing something in public and you're like, how did you make it here?

Speaker 2 How did you get here?

Speaker 1 You and I go through the same school system, okay? The same school system.

Speaker 1 And somehow you're like, you're being crazy.

Speaker 2 You've ever seen someone at a restaurant, like, how they're acting. And I'm like, you've been doing this for how many years? And no one's punched you in the face.

Speaker 1 Hello? Is everyone okay?

Speaker 2 Everyone needs to get a check.

Speaker 1 Everyone needs to start summering more and just like calm it down.

Speaker 1 Calm it down.

Speaker 2 Calm down. Summer Fridays.
Embrace it. Embrace it.

Speaker 1 Live it. Learn it.
Put a summer Fridays Fridays mask on.

Speaker 2 I feel like you just discovered Summer this summer.

Speaker 1 I did. I'm like an alien.

Speaker 2 Have you heard of this thing called Summer Spring?

Speaker 1 Like, it's a Sunday, and it's like, what will I do? I don't know. I feel like a young Carrie Bradshaw.
I'm like, New York is my boyfriend. I could do anything today.
The world is at my feet.

Speaker 2 Shout out to teachers, even though they're so, so, so, so underpaid and undervalued. But at least people were like, they've been dealing with kids all year.
Give them a summer.

Speaker 1 Can I say something?

Speaker 1 I do love clearing a teacher's list.

Speaker 1 It's an adrenaline rush like no other. I'm like, fuck yeah, they need those markers.
Are you kidding?

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I also think the government shouldn't be making teachers have to ask people. I know.

Speaker 2 Pay for markers, okay? I know.

Speaker 1 That's where we should put the money. Looking at the list, I'm like, wait, this is like, these are such basic things.
Like that,

Speaker 1 yeah, every school should have this.

Speaker 2 Every school should have it. Give them a clock.
How do they know when they're getting to the next?

Speaker 1 And also, I will say, like, as a child, because I loved aesthetic, obviously I'm a pink aura. I love them.
I judged a teacher by her room. Okay, I was like, okay, what's going on here? No effort.

Speaker 1 The season has been changed.

Speaker 2 The feng shui is really off. I'm like, really?

Speaker 1 We're in November. You still have apples up on your poster board, like, with all our names on it.
It's time for snowflakes, bitch.

Speaker 2 Also, you're like, it's getting busy. Like, let's get started.

Speaker 1 No border? Interesting choice. No border.

Speaker 2 You're also clashing. Clashing.
Clashing colors.

Speaker 1 I was very picky on classroom teacher's aesthetic. I'm like,

Speaker 1 with that outfit, that's crazy work.

Speaker 2 Crazy work. I love teachers who were exacerbated.
Like, I thought it was so cool when you were taking a teacher.

Speaker 1 I don't think that's the word for what, like, that was.

Speaker 2 No, but you know when like a kid would start acting out and the teacher would be like jerome i'm not doing this with you

Speaker 1 jerome yeah no teachers have such a like

Speaker 1 no i don't know how they do it i don't know how they do it but i did see a tick tock actually because i'm like deep in i feel like teacher tick tock well i'm on amazon looking at so many teacher stuff my my phone is like you're a teacher yeah um

Speaker 1 i saw a teacher say

Speaker 1 like never once has she referred to going and being a teacher as going to work she always says i'm going to school Yeah.

Speaker 1 And teachers were like dueting it and being like, because one teacher was like, oh, no, I say, like, I have work. And it's like, other teachers were like, it's not work.
It's going to school.

Speaker 1 And I think that's like, I never thought of that, obviously, because like once I left school, I never thought about it again. But some of these people,

Speaker 2 they loved school. So it's like now they get to do it again and make it like amazing for the kids.

Speaker 2 Shout out to my teachers.

Speaker 1 Shout out to teachers. Cause like I feel bad.
They're coming through a tough time. It's gonna, they're almost back in and it's scary.

Speaker 2 Final note. Final note.

Speaker 2 So, I didn't tell you guys because there was drama going on with

Speaker 2 Grace and Boots. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I didn't want to upset the gigglers before it was dealt with because I didn't really know what was going on. Yeah, I didn't want you guys having this.
More questions.

Speaker 1 We're not going to say something that, and then you have more questions.

Speaker 2 Garners more questions. And I don't want it heavy on your heart while you're going through your week.
Yeah. So I'm ready to get Boots adopted.

Speaker 2 And the nurse comes back and says, sorry, you can't bring her to Grace. She has a fever.
And when a kitten has a fever, that's crazy. Like, it's scary.
And I was like, is she going to die?

Speaker 2 And they were like, we don't know. So I text Grace and I'm like, hey, um, Boots is sick and could die.
And Grace was like, are you going to pay for my trauma therapy? And I said, 100%.

Speaker 2 This is all my fault.

Speaker 1 It's an HR issue.

Speaker 2 It's an HR issue that we will deal with separately and privately. But

Speaker 2 Imaginous dealing with anything separately and also privately.

Speaker 1 Could you imagine? What a luxury. What a luxury to deal with something separately and privately.

Speaker 2 The Grace documentary, when it comes out, is going to be imagined.

Speaker 2 She's going to be faceless with her voice distorted.

Speaker 1 There's going to be so many players and like

Speaker 1 lore and like twists and turns. It's crazy.
There's so many randoms.

Speaker 2 So Boots is getting taken care of. They're giving her some meds.
They're afraid she has this thing called FIP. It's basically like feline coronavirus.
And then the vet takes her home to her house.

Speaker 2 So we're like that weekend. We're like, oh no, like, is Boots being trafficked? But

Speaker 2 the vet was like making sure she's going to be okay.

Speaker 2 Finally, this last week. Wait, that was so nice of the vet.
No, I know. She went above and beyond.
Boots has been fever-free for five days. She's still going to be on meds.

Speaker 2 But Grace has officially taken home Boots as of yesterday. So we all are cat moms.

Speaker 1 And that was quick. You did a quick flip on Grace.
How many years is that?

Speaker 2 Like three.

Speaker 2 Three. It's pretty good.

Speaker 1 I mean, mine was like a solid seven.

Speaker 2 I know. Well, that, because we had some bumps in the road.

Speaker 1 We had some bumps in the road.

Speaker 2 We're very busy with our cats and busy summering.

Speaker 1 I'm so busy summering and I'm not even doing anything. It's just me sitting in my apartment being like, leave me alone.

Speaker 2 And going, should I put more tanning oil on? You sicko. You sicko.

Speaker 1 I've literally been spending too much time in Jersey. I'm just like, sorry, I'm trying to fit in.
Sorry, I want the girls to like me.

Speaker 2 I'm like, hello?

Speaker 2 Oh my God. You have to smell.
What is it? It's, does it have like scent?

Speaker 1 It smells amazing. Yeah.
It's like coconuts.

Speaker 2 It smells like joy.

Speaker 2 Wine drop.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's just like, I'm like, guys, I'm so sorry that you're getting such heat right now.

Speaker 2 They need news. A love letter to my danning wife.

Speaker 1 They need something like, I mean, it did have a little SPF.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 Basically, I was a rotisserie chicken out there, and I loved every fucking second of it.

Speaker 2 We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling with us, and we'll talk to you next week.
Bye.

Speaker 1 Hey, it's Paige DeSorbo from Giggly Squad. Head home for the holidays with Abercrombie and Fitch.

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