Giggling about bachelorettes, viagra, and vintage drama

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Sup, gigglers, Gary, fix your Wi-Fi.

Manifest that shit.

We can't be managed.

I mean, the day just got away from me.

What's up, my granular gigglers?

Mm-hmm.

You guys think I'm going to run out of G-words?

I won't.

And it's kind of crazy that we've never once thought to look up just a bunch of G-words and have them on standby because that preparation would be

too much admin.

It's like when you're ordering food at a restaurant, I don't prepare.

I want the pressure because pressure makes diamonds.

You got to think on the spot.

Do you want a grilled cheese or rigatoni?

What do you want?

You don't look up a menu before you go to a restaurant?

No.

No, I live life on the edge.

I live life by the seat of my pants.

One of my favorite things to do is in the Uber on the way to the restaurant is look up the menu.

That's very trendy.

A lot of girls in their 30s talk about it.

Okay.

Wait, can we say one thing?

No, no, no, no.

One, you insulted me.

You're like, yeah, it's a fad.

Like, get over it.

You didn't, like, think of that.

And two, you had to bring my age into it.

I don't know if you're upset because I was with my other friends this weekend,

but the passive aggressive is not what I need on this Monday morning.

I started a war.

I posted my Bachelorette bit about a girl being on a bachelorette with a girl named Stephanie and how it's a cult.

It's a cult.

It is, though.

Your other best friend is Stephanie.

And I didn't say anything.

I just put it out there.

And if you guys take it that way, that's on you.

Stephanie literally said to the whole entire bachelorette, she was like, and Paige's other best friend basically called me a Karen.

And

no I'm having the most Mondayest Monday well you partied for four days post-bachelorette ever first of all I'm red as a lobster it'll turn tan I don't know how I even did this to myself I'm usually so good with my sunscreen and reapplying and I was just honestly I was yapping too much that like the time got away from me I forgot you were on bridesmaid duty like you had shit to do you weren't there to just you know apply sunscreen.

You had to be at her beck and call.

No, truly.

Like it is actually so hard to be a bridesmaid.

I got these cute little bags for all the girls, like stony clover bags.

And I like shoved them a bunch like through PR, like put PR in all of them.

And then we got like matching pajamas that were super cute.

No, it looks so fun.

It was so fun.

It's so funny.

Like, actually, one of the girls said this on the Bachelorette.

And I really, I've only been on two bachelorette parties two's enough for me

two's enough I'm done but one of the girls was like I am just so happy like I go on a lot of bachelorette parties and a lot of them are like about the guy like you're holding a sign with the guy's face on it they're like talking about the guy you're marrying and she was like and I truly don't think we discussed men once this weekend and I was like sitting there and I was like wait we literally have not talked about like we've talked about men but not like their actual significant others.

Like, we truly didn't talk about Stephanie's future husband that much at all.

It's a send-off for the girls to just embrace, like, this is the last time we're all together without you having to be like, my husband, my husband, your ball and chain.

And it is funny to be that.

I think also bachelorette parties are kind of, even though it's about your friend getting married, it is kind of a reminder that people are in all different places in their lives.

Like the girls that were married, the girls that were engaged, the girls that were single.

And to be able to be like, oh, I'm not falling behind.

I'm just at a different spot.

I think it's like a good reminder.

Everyone's a piece of popcorn and we all pop at different times.

So too.

That's what Mel Robbins says.

I mean, she didn't say that.

She said, let them.

But again, I will say Miami is just so great for a bachelorette.

It truly is.

It truly is.

Also, another thing about talking about husbands, there's a really funny comic, Erica Rhodes, who says something about like,

if your friend talks about her husband too much, she's in a bad relationship.

Like the friends that rarely talk about their husbands are in a good relationship.

Like if you know too much about her husband, it's either she's complaining about him all the time or like asking questions.

Like honestly, he shouldn't be a topic.

Yeah.

Once you're married, like I don't want to talk about it.

I want to talk about who's a situation ship.

Yeah, do you want to know what we did actually?

Like a lot of a lot of the girl, majority of the girls were married or like about to get married.

And we weren't even talking about their significant others.

We were talking about like their ex-ex, like drama from like three ex-boyfriends.

I love that.

Because you're so not connected to it anymore.

Vintage.

Vintage drama.

Like that's what I like.

Thrift dating.

I'm like, wait, and how old were you when this happened?

You know, this morning I actually was like rubbing my face and my ring was like turned towards me and I accidentally scratched my face.

So sometimes like being married's not all that.

Yeah,

it's not.

I did also get in a fight with Dez because he he wrote a book.

He wrote a book called My Dad Was Nearly James Bond because his dad was like this like hot

actor who auditioned for James Bond once.

And I never read the book and he always gets mad at me that I never read the book and I'm like, tell me about yourself.

I'm not going to research you.

Like, tell it to me.

Right.

But then I

ordered it when he was gone.

That's so nice of you to support.

No, I wanted to support A Man in the Arts to see what it's like over there.

And then I started reading it.

And he was like, yeah, it's all these like life lessons, all these important things that happened to me.

And I was like, so I'm not in it.

And he was like, yeah, I wrote it 15 years ago.

And I'm like, so I'm not important to you.

So I'm not.

So like, I'm not reading a book about your life that isn't about how important I was in your life.

I don't need to be gaslit.

Does it have stories of past relationships?

I haven't read it yet.

Did you?

Wait, did you write about Des in our book?

He's mentioned.

Also, I noticed...

Shout out your New York Times article.

They did say Miss DeSorbo and Miss Burner.

Are they supposed to say MRS Burner because I'm I'm married?

Or it's MS because I kept my last name?

I think it's MS because you kept your last.

I think MS can be either or.

So when

you don't know, you just put Ms.

Also, Grace was laughing that the title of the New York Times article called you a millennial.

I'm like, it didn't call her a millennial.

She's a millennial.

And she was like, it's just very millennial.

Again, why are we bringing agents to this New York Times artist?

Can I have a day?

Can I have a literal day?

Can I have a literal day?

I don't even need a day.

I need eight hours.

Give me a second.

No, I need eight hours of shit just not

attacking me.

No, so we always say that the M-word is a slur.

Calling someone a millennial.

No, it truly is.

The New York Times came for your literal heart.

Look at this millennial doing a lot of stuff because she has a lot of years.

Look at this dumb bitch.

No, it was a great article.

Everyone should read it.

And the, like, you were doing real like poses.

No, it was after that shoot that I bought my hip flex,

hip stretch.

It was after that shoot that I tore my ACL.

No, literally, I felt old.

But Grace, if you didn't get the newsletter last week, it's because it didn't go out because Grace is on vacation and she didn't trust us with it.

I miss Grace.

She's finally back.

She literally texted us that she missed us so much because she thinks she has Stockholm Syndrome.

And that's the kind of relationship we want to have with our employees.

No, thank God Grace is back.

Everything felt off.

I was questioning everything around me.

I just felt off kilter.

I have two unpopular opinions that I

said out loud at the bachelor's.

Well, I said one of them out loud at the bachelorette party and no one really agreed.

And the second one.

Unless you thought it was popular and then it wasn't.

I love those.

No, I knew it was going to be unpopular, but I just wanted to like take the temperature of the crowd.

I love that you had a new crowd this weekend that you were like figuring out.

You're like, okay, this audience is, you know, a little tight.

You had to butter them up.

One of them is

sometimes I think sleeping in my makeup makes my skin better.

Yeah, you've been saying that.

I saw that on like a clip somewhere and I was like, let's stop with the misinformation online.

There's enough fake news.

I think if you do it twice a quarter, not gonna kill you.

Oh, obviously.

And my second unpopular opinion: did I mean to like literally oven roast my body in Miami this weekend?

I didn't.

I wanted to be SPF queen, but you get going, you get drinking, you get talking, you literally forget.

I actually think the sun was, I haven't seen the sun in so many months.

I needed that full weekend of vitamin D just blasting me.

Wait, so what you're saying is multiple times a quarter.

Yes.

You can do whatever the fuck you want.

That's called balance.

Also, the fact we're saying the word quarter is so funny.

I've been saying it a lot lately because you want to know what?

People say it to me a lot.

And I just recently like buckled down and figured out what they were talking about.

Yeah, people have said that.

I remember people like, well, in Q3 and you were like, what the fuck is Q3?

What are we playing, Minecraft?

I'm like, when are those months again?

No, I've been trying to understand things.

I actually just posted a video and I wanted your thoughts.

It's a hot take

about tariffs.

Are you familiar with the tariffs?

I am.

How familiar are you with the tariffs?

Well, I mean, don't quiz me on it, but I've heard the term.

So I, yes, I heard the term too, and I think that there are things that should be tariffed that aren't being tariffed right right now.

These are the things that should actually be tariffed.

I just feel like I just feel like we're so colonial right now.

So it's so, again, vintage.

I mean, if there's a measles outbreak,

what are we to do?

Take us all out.

So these are things that should actually be tariffed.

Tell me if you agree.

Labradoodles.

You hate a labradoodle.

I don't like them because they have elbows.

The long ones have elbows.

They have arms.

They look like they could like grab something and they're inbred i there's too many there's too many i've met a couple doodles that i i fuck with i i like anything little but the big ones feet like they also have beady eyes i have seen a couple on tick tock where i'm like that's a human a human in a dog suit yeah and that's scary okay

okay Next, Chamoy pickles.

I feel like they're out anyway.

Okay, but like, I feel like we should tariff them still.

Yeah, tariff them.

Are they out?

Shoot, I forgot this isn't your ins and outs list.

It's your tariffs.

This is not about interrupting.

This is about tariffing.

This is an economic

and whatever.

This is econ.

Okay.

Have you ever had a chamoy pickle?

No, and I'm upset that I know what it is.

Wait, you don't like like sour candies.

I do.

I don't like spicy.

I had an airhead before.

Oh my god.

I'm trying to think, we've never eaten like candy together.

Because I'm a savory girl.

I only eat cheeseburgers.

Yeah, you never like dessert with me ever.

No,

Des will dessert alone.

Like he will have his own girl dinner and have like ice cream and cookies and chocolate.

And I'll sit there and I'm like, I had chicken parmesan.

I'm good.

That's like the one of the least fun things about me.

Yeah.

You'll sometimes have some ice cream, but then you get a tummy ache.

Yeah, I mean, I'll I'll dabble.

I love a birthday cake.

I do show the fuck up for a birthday.

I'm first in line for a birthday cake.

So if anyone talks bad about me,

I support birthdays.

Pickleball equipment should be tariffed.

I think so as well.

Viagra.

You're so against pickleball.

Do you think anyone will ever be able to get you to play pickleball?

No, I'm definitely.

This is the thing.

The second I start playing, I'm going to get obsessed with it and like addicted.

And you're going to have to, like, I'm going to want to quit Giggly Squad to go on the Pickleball Pro tour.

Pickleball to me is smoking cigarettes.

What if you were like, Paige, I can't go on a Giggly Squad, another Giggly Squad tour, because I have to join the Olympic pickleball team.

See, that's not even funny to me.

That's just what my life's going to be.

Yeah, I could see it.

It's literally why I don't do cocaine, because I'm afraid I'm going to get on that court and like start feeling like confidence in myself I haven't felt since my college years and be like, this is what I was meant to do.

And then my dad will be proud of me.

And next thing you know, you're like, oh, I really liked Hannah's videos.

Why didn't she make videos anymore?

I'm competing in Germany.

No, that's in Germany.

Okay, this I'm very serious about.

Viagra needs to be tariffed.

I think if you can't get it up, that's the universe telling you you're done.

Like you're good.

That's natural selection.

Put it down.

Leave it alone.

You know what's interesting?

Like, I feel like as women, we have so many,

we're nuanced.

We're multifaceted.

we have layers, we have so many inside things with just other women that only women would really know.

Like our single female behavior that we don't want the men to know about.

I feel like the men have like a certain number of those things as well, not even close to ours.

But one of those things I think that like the men only they know is like Viagra.

Did you know that you can get like basically a Viagra, like a gas station version of Viagra at like gas stations?

See, I saw those and I thought it was a bit.

Like, that's a real thing.

And I think that more men take Viagra than they tell.

Like, I feel like I've definitely slept with a guy where he was on Viagra and I didn't know.

Like, I think it's one of those things that they keep really, like, hush-hush.

But I'm like, why?

Tell us about it it's so funny that like stuff like that's available at gas stations like that's how like i wonder are they embarrassed and it's also like why are why do they need it at like a certain age and like what age did they start like i think they were taking it more in their 20s than we think what you know i did um during my special i was doing crowd work with a guy who said that he took a viagra pill like at noon the day of his wedding and i was like were you just standing at the altar like like

hard No.

Like, what?

And I guess because he, he wanted to have sex that night, and he knew he was going to drink a lot.

But, like, I've mentioned that.

Yeah, like, they're self-medicating because of the problem.

We're starting a whole conspiracy.

I'm like, every man's addicted to Viagra.

It's an epidemic, you guys.

I'm like, they love gambling and little blue pills.

Wait, like, they have a supplier.

Like, yo, I got my guy.

I got my hookup.

Yo, let me get an eighth of Viagra.

Like, I literally think they were taking it, they're taking it more than we know.

Someone needs to do an investigation.

Oh, God.

I just think let nature take its course.

It's not meant to be.

And more people need to let nature take its course, you know?

That's like our motto for the day.

No, I think, wow, I needed that because that's what I now think about any mean commenter.

And I'm going to let nature take its course.

Let nature take its course.

Oh, I also have a good mental health moment.

Oh, okay.

I could use it.

This is like something I've seen before for years, but I need to remind myself, your ego is not your amigo.

Paige.

Yeah.

It's really fucking important.

No, I feel like it is too.

Because I feel like as girls, we're like, we want to be confident and we teach ourselves all this stuff.

But then if you have too big of an ego, it hurts you.

Yeah.

And sometimes I realize that I have to check.

If I check my ego, all my problems go away.

A lot of the times I'm frustrated is literally just my ego thinking I should be doing something or someone should have treated me a type of way.

But if you just say,

that's my ego and that's not my amigo.

It's none of my business.

It's none of my business, which goes back to our other theory that nothing's our business.

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One thing that is my business?

Today is my child's birthday.

Wait, you have to do something fun for her.

Like, you have to make her like a fun cat cake or something.

You know what I think?

I'm going to make her a tuna flavored martini tonight.

I saw girls on TikTok just shaking up like a tuna flavored little drink.

It's so, can you please take a photo?

In a martini glass, and I think Daphne will.

Do you know what's a joy in my life?

I'll never have a high of and feel good of again.

I'll never reach this level of happiness.

Did you have Mr.

Softy as a kid?

Yeah, like at the ice cream truck.

Wait, you want to know what?

We didn't have Mr.

Sofie, but we had an ice cream truck.

Did it make that song?

Okay.

No, ours made.

No, ours was It's a Small World.

Not the same, but I guess similar genre.

Similar genre.

And our lady had long brown curly hair, and I loved it.

And I don't remember her name, but I always used to get two ice creams because my dad was obsessed with me.

Because I was the favorite.

And I could never choose.

You're so funny.

And he would eat it.

He would say, yeah, get whatever you want, Paige.

My dad would come out and buy all the kids, all the neighborhood kids, ice cream from the ice cream truck.

So he was popular.

He was so popular.

And now that I think about it, like

he would just take out a wad of cash from his back pocket, no rubber band, no wallet, throw us a couple fives, and just like.

Look, you're mafia affiliated, and I don't judge you for that.

And page six, if you're listening, it's a joke, okay?

It's a joke.

It's a joke.

I do think with the ice cream trucks though, like it was pretty drug trafficky of them.

Like we'd all be playing in the yard, and then they would do it.

And obviously, all the kids would be like, Mommy, mommy, I need it, mommy.

And then they'd be like,

What are you going to do?

Make let your kid cry?

It was lit, like, when you started to hear that sound, it was like, What's the procedure?

Like, people just started, kids

tweaking out, literally, tweaking, shucking themselves at the fence.

Like, and it's like, she can slow down.

She sees you, like, getting crazy.

Like, obviously, you're coming in the truck.

She's going to wait for you.

You know, like, what the fuck else did she have to do?

You turn into fucking zombies that are about to eat a brain.

It got crazy.

I would always get the strawberry shortcake

thingy.

Oh, on a popsicle?

Yeah.

I would always get something with a gumball in it.

Ew.

I know.

That's why I also then always got an ice cream sandwich because I needed it, the chocolate to offset my gumball.

And also,

they could have all these crazy colors and you'd just like be playing for the rest of the day, and your whole face is just blue.

You know,

it makes me happy that you lived in the city and you still experienced the ice cream truck because I feel like that's quite a suburban experience.

It's very different to what you experienced.

Like, it was a different person every day in the truck.

Like, we didn't have a shit.

Different shifts,

different shifts.

They're very busy.

There's a lot of different trucks going around, and they would stop everywhere all the time.

They were all over the place.

It was crazy.

But thank you for that.

I did have a little bit bit of a childhood.

I'm happy.

No, I'm proud.

Oh, did you hear there's a breast milk-flavored ice cream?

That's unsettling.

I think it's a promotional thing, but it definitely got me to click.

You know what?

Question about breastfeeding.

Not that you're going to know.

I won't.

I literally was like, why am I saying yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Okay, like say like I didn't, say we had a baby at the same time, okay, and I couldn't produce milk, but I wanted my child to be breastfed.

technically you could breastfeed my child Yes, because you're producing milk.

I think back then all the ladies would just like breastfeed each other's babies like they'd just be a commune and they'd all everyone right

Everyone helped out.

Yeah, and during COVID like women couldn't get breast milk and and I remember seeing like on the internet people were like selling their breast milk and like all the and like giving it to people that didn't have any whatever and I think there was like a shortage on formula and they were really like freaking out

My question is.

Oh, you've thought about this.

Yes, I've thought about this.

And anybody,

I'm just wondering why it's not a thing.

There's farmers markets all over.

I don't expect like the big grocery stores to like be doing this, but I'm wondering why people, you can't just like go and buy organic, obviously it's organic, it's coming from your body, but like why you can't just go buy breast milk for your baby?

Like, why is the option your own breast milk or formula?

Mm-hmm.

You know, why isn't there an in-between for the moms who maybe want to breastfeed, but for whatever reason can't or don't want to?

Maybe because it's really hard to make sure the breast milk is coming from a good source.

A good place, a good cow.

Is it coming from a good place?

Is it coming with love and honesty and truth?

Well, I mean, obviously, I haven't thought out all the details, but there would be some type of testing center.

Like, you bring your breast milk in, it gets tested, it's deemed okay, and then it goes on the shelves.

Yeah, I mean, so much breast milk I feel like gets thrown away or like is frozen, doesn't get used.

Actually, we don't know anything about breast milk.

Unless you only make enough for your own baby, but I don't know.

I think some people over I mean, some people breast milk

breastfeed.

It's kind of crazy that that's the only reason we have boobs.

If you really think about it, this was actually one of the topics on my bachelorette.

Like, are you going to breastfeed?

Yes, no, why, why not?

That's intense.

Yeah.

What kind of mother are you going to be?

No, you want to know what?

It was so nice hearing other people's perspectives on like yes or no if they're going to, what their reasoning would be.

Like one girl said her reasoning would be

she didn't want to because she feels like her boobs are like a very big part of her sexual relationship with her husband and she was like nervous if it would get like taken out of that and like they not that they like really rely on it but like i and i was like wait i totally get that logic she's like my man just likes me for my titties and if i love me and after that i have nothing to bring to the table no well i said i can't relate whatsoever you go look as if she's like look i looked at paige and i said that's not the life i want to live

I was like, I absolutely will be breastfeeding.

I can't wait to get these puppies

like big and see what they look like in tops.

It is, I know a lot of my friends who don't have big boobs and then get boobs and they like love their boobs when they're breastfeeding.

Like, it's like very funny.

Yeah, I just can't wait to see what they look like.

You know, me too, me too.

I don't even know how we got here, but how did we get here?

Um, I've been watching stuff.

What have you been watching?

I watched all of adolescents.

And what did you think?

I thought it was amazing.

I the one-shot thing stressed me the fuck out.

It's dark and twisted.

It got me nervous because

I would mess up.

Like 40 minutes in, I would flub a line and be like, sorry, we gotta start over, guys.

Yeah.

And that actor, the kid, that was his first acting role.

That's insane.

He was spectacular.

I feel like I've been hearing that more and more when people are talking about shows and they'll be like, and they never acted.

Oh, hacks.

She'd never acted before.

And she was like saying it on an interview.

And then I saw another thing

like

Cameron Diaz, her first like huge movie, the first role she ever got.

She had never acted before.

Wow.

You know?

I do think another mental health moment we could learn from this is I think when you're a natural at something, like when you're meant to do something,

you can just do it.

And some people are just like really fucking talented.

Find what you're meant to do, and then it feels easy.

Yeah,

I also think acting is like you just have to feel the role, yeah.

Just like, what's your motive?

Figure out your character.

That kid was amazing, but also, it really like if the cameraman tripped like 55 minutes in, they'd have to start over.

Like, I couldn't handle that.

I couldn't handle that pressure.

I would fold like a cheap beach chair.

Um, Wade, speaking of like pop culture,

we never talked about the girls going to the moon.

Oh, we didn't.

Why didn't we talk about that?

Well, Olivia Munn was like, this is insane.

And I feel like, I feel like the news at first was like, ooh, she's talking bad.

But then everyone kind of got behind her and was like, this is insane.

It feels like a real housewife girls trip.

It's like a random combination of women who are successful.

Is Bethany Frankel going to be a little bit more?

Okay.

Katie Perry will launch space with a historic all-female

crew on blue origin rocket.

The things women will do to get away from their husbands.

Gail King.

Gail, we need you on this earth.

We need you here.

Here's the thing.

I didn't know.

Here's why I'm like so confused.

I thought that like when we went to the moon, it was like,

one, I would assume it costs like so much money to go to the moon.

yeah like think how much an uber costs like an uber across town like when we were going to space they were going up to space because they had to like check something out or like do a test or like do a thing I didn't know they were just like going and being like

stop like this I feel like that's this is some rich people shit that just want to feel something they just want to feel something like they've done everything everything on this earth and they're just like is there more but you'll never fill the empty hole in your heart continue when I was younger The way that my mom would my mom was very strict with me So I wasn't like allowed to do a lot of things but now looking back like I was allowed to do age appropriate things and she used to get me so mad because she would always say like if you do everything

too soon like you you'll have nothing to look forward to and you'll get bored and like you need to wait to do certain things

So like I mean it would be very simple of like she she wouldn't let me sleep out like the night of prom.

She's like, you're going to have so many times where you sleep out.

And boy, was she right.

I really made up for it.

But like, it was stuff like that.

And like, now as I'm in my 30s, like with like marriage and children and all that stuff.

I'm like, oh, I still just have it to look forward to.

Do you know what I mean?

And like, I'm so happy I didn't do certain things before.

You're so happy you haven't gone to the moon yet.

Yeah.

So, what I'm saying is, I still have time.

I'm not going to blow my load all in my 30s.

I thought it was a bit them all going to.

Like, is it for charity?

Is it sponsored by something?

Are they all individually paying?

Like, I have so many questions.

Yeah, there's so many logistical questions.

Also, when they get there, are they like,

is it a reality show?

Are they going to be fighting with each other?

Like, are they like who gets which room in the spaceship?

I just have like, I, and I've never had one, so I can't relate ever on any level.

I don't have like an adrenaline seeking personality.

So like if there's even like a 1% chance I'm dying doing something, I'm not doing it.

And I don't, I mean like getting on a plane, getting in a car, like, I mean like outside of the normal realm of

the same.

We wake up.

Anxiety hits us.

Okay.

I don't need to go on a roller coaster to feel scared.

I feel scared just trying to function when I wake up in the morning.

We need things to dull.

When I put my passcode into my phone, I feel a rush.

I'm like, oh man, what are they saying to me?

We need downers.

We need to scroll TikTok, numb the cortisol levels.

They're out through the roof.

I want it filmed.

I want to see what they're talking about.

I want it live streamed.

I want them to big brother this shit.

That'll make it fun for us.

I want us to be traitors on the moon.

But you know, like, what have we done that, like, we're just, we need content now with people on the moon?

We've run out of content.

We've run out of content.

Get ready with me to go to the moon.

This is my TikTok dance for when you're on the moon.

But it's also such an interesting group of people.

One of the quotes was like, this is the first time eyelash extensions will be in space.

Just like, I'm like, wait, that's so something I would say, but like, be kidding, but get roasted for it.

Also, do we feel bad for all the female astronauts who have like worked their asses off to become astronauts and then

they don't, they're not getting talked about?

Well, those people that were like literally stuck in space for like three fucking months.

I feel like women have been to space.

Why are we acting like it's a big deal?

Do you remember when they packed 100 tampons for that girl who's going to space for like a week?

That was crazy.

And like, I hate to say this.

Like, I'm not even going to say this, but like, what if something happened?

No, it's very scary.

Like, I, yeah, I just can't.

Oh my God, something happened to me on the Bachelorette that I just remembered.

That's so funny.

I'm in the middle of telling a story.

I don't know what the story was, but I'm like into it.

My hands are moving.

They're going.

Like, I'm making point A, point B, point B, A.

Like, I have things happening.

One of the girls stops me and she goes, I'm sorry.

I just need to stop you while you're telling this story.

Your fingers are so long.

And Stephanie's like right next to me.

She goes, Oh, yeah, everybody always says that to her.

Imagine I paid her to say that to you.

I'm like, Can you bring whenever she starts talking?

Can you bring up the size of her fingers?

I was like, Oh, yeah, like that's a thing.

Then I didn't know if I should like put my hands down while I was telling the rest of the story.

You just can't stop thinking about your own fingers.

I hate that.

You got to well, but you also, your nails don't help.

Your nails make them look even longer.

Yeah, they look like talons.

They're stunning.

I love them.

They're beautiful.

It's just

as a body positive

girly.

Yeah.

I have a size 10 finger, so I can't relate to you.

Wait, the other thing pop culture that we didn't talk about that I wanted your opinion on is the Morgan Wallen walking off of the SNL set.

Get me to God's country.

Yes.

Okay, so if you guys didn't hear, which I feel like everybody has already seen it, Morgan Wallen performed on SNL, and at the end, when they rolled the credits, credits, usually all the actors like stay on the stage, they hug, they say good job, all this stuff.

Morgan like immediately walks off like while the camera's still on the stage.

Right past the camera.

Like right into the camera.

Then he tweets, get me back to God's country.

And then it became like a whole trend, whatever.

And he's selling merch.

It was smart.

In my first like seeing it, like I truly didn't think anything negative.

I was like, oh, maybe he literally was like, oh, I'm done.

Cause I get, I was like, maybe he had anxiety and he was just like, oh, I finished it.

I did it.

It's over.

Like, I don't know.

I didn't know the camera was still going and he just walked off.

But then tweeting that afterward,

I was like, oh, that's shady and messy.

And so, like, did something happen?

Yeah.

What do you think?

Well, I feel like some of the cast members chirped in on it too.

chirped, chimed in on it.

What did they say?

I feel like they kind of were like confused also.

But I also think it was just like good press for everyone because everyone was talking about it.

Yeah.

Like it's become kind of like, because it's live, what's going to happen?

Also, like,

I don't know.

I feel like SNL is such

an honor to do.

And like Morgan Wallen,

you got to be a little grateful.

Your ego is not your amigo.

No, your ego is truly not your amigo.

I just like, I mean, I always say this, but like, if like Tate McRae did that, they'd be all over her.

Like, the press would still be going on today on a Monday.

Yeah, they'd be like, is she hard to work with?

Is she a diva?

Is she going to lose her sponsorships?

Yeah, like, there's always so many TikTok videos of, like, I went up to this influencer and she, like, didn't say hi back.

And it's like, okay, well, maybe I caught her at a random moment.

Like, there's never those about like men.

This is the thing with men.

They'll get called out like he's a dick or like he's a fuckboy and then it's kind of laughed off and then he just continues doing what he's doing yeah where yeah like i mean ashley simpson got completely canceled yes when she made amazing music hello hello hello hello well i think she got canceled because she was lip syncing singing did i say is it lip

i is i never know is it lip singing or lip syncing

lip syncing But I always want to say lip singing, but it's like obviously you're singing with your lips.

There was a wicked outbreak out of my boucher at this week.

Paige sends me a video of the girls singing wicked.

And I was just like, I don't know.

Your enemies are out to get you this weekend.

I don't know what to tell you.

I literally sat there at 1.70.

He goes, you just quivered and winced in your chair.

Like, you're so embarrassed for us.

And I was like, I'm not embarrassed for you guys.

Like, if you love it, if you like it, I love it.

But I could never.

I'm jealous.

I, first of all, love Wicked.

I would have broken the song with them.

But I'm jealous of girls who get joy from breaking into song together and like authentically lean in like with harmonies and shit.

Like girls used to do that on the bus and stuff.

And I was like,

I wish I could do that, but I can't.

I'm too insecure.

I don't have, yeah, I'm too insecure.

I don't have the confidence to just start ever singing or dancing.

I don't just, I have so many other qualities that I'm so grateful for and blessed with.

Rhythm and holding a note, not one of them.

Also, let's be honest, though, rhythm is a, you know,

when

it's subjective.

I was going to say,

art is subjective.

It's art is subjective.

And once my therapist told me to dance off rhythm because it helps you like find awareness within your body.

And I was like, so just dance.

That's what I do.

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Mind If We Talk is available wherever you get your podcasts, listen and follow today.

Hot take

is April Fools Choogie?

I feel like there weren't, yeah, yeah.

I feel like April Fools is over.

Like, I feel like

because all the brands, like, took over it, and it's like, or people took it way too far, like being like, I'm pregnant, and then be like, April Fools, and people are like, what?

That's not funny.

I actually didn't really see one April Fools joke.

I love that when we announced we were going to be on Jimmy Fallon, people were like, we announced Jimmy Fallon, and some haters were like, yeah, April Fools, these girls would never be on Jimmy Fallon.

They fucking suck.

But no, yeah, it wasn't April Fools.

We forgot that it was April Fools.

One more thing about space.

Mm-hmm.

Do you know Pluto got demoted?

Yeah, I knew that.

That was a while ago.

Yeah, but like, how did they tell Pluto?

Like, do you ever think about that?

Like, who called Pluto?

I was like,

are you more interested in what's in space or what's underwater?

Are you high right now?

No, but like, being at the ocean this weekend, like a lot of girls were like, I like, don't fuck with the ocean, like, I'm not going out there.

Yeah,

and I was like, Oh, that's interesting.

I like don't ever, I don't like fear the ocean, but I'm not like, there's a certain point where I'm like, Yeah, I'm not going further than this, that's crazy.

I just saw a funny Justin Bieber video with actually Jimmy Fallon, where Jimmy Fallon was like, What's your biggest fear?

And

Justin Bieber was like, Sharks.

And Jimmy Fallon was like, When would you run into a shark?

And Justin Bieber goes, When When I'm in the ocean,

I'm more honestly.

I'm interested in space because, like, galaxies, like, that's crazy.

And like, the fact that there's other Earths and worlds on that Earth, who knows?

They're just like a, it's infinite.

Like, that's crazy.

And I like thinking about that because it reminds me that my life doesn't matter and I don't have to be stressed about anything because no one cares.

And we're just a blip in the world and in the galaxy.

See, I'm more interested in underwater.

See, I think underwater is none of my business.

Like, let them live.

Let them do their thing.

The only thing I don't get is like the underwater is actually on Earth.

Like, we live with it every day.

And the fact that, like, the majority of it is not researched or like explored, I think, is scary.

It's scarier to me than space because space is like, it's not here.

Like, we don't.

My toxic trait is I feel like I could talk it out with an alien.

Like, I'd be like, look, we're both trying to survive.

Yeah.

We're both trying to figure it out.

I don't know what's going on.

You don't know what's going on.

Chill out.

You can't do that with a fish.

I'm going to tell you something.

I use chat GBT all the time.

You love.

It's your new best friend.

No, it's my best friend.

I'm like, let me just ask my chat.

She'll literally know.

And I started saying thank you to it.

Like after it would give me information.

You're like wanted to like you.

Because I'm like, okay, if aliens ever come and they're like, okay, well, at least she was like really polite.

I'm always like, thank you so much.

Like that was actually super helpful.

Like when I was getting my UTI, I was like just googling all, I was just asking chat all these things.

And I'm like, do you think I have like something wrong with my kidneys?

I don't feel like my back hurts.

Well, people are now using Chat GBT as therapy and just like asking it therapy questions.

I mean,

at least you know you're not going to be judged.

Kind of smart.

I mean,

I love it.

I'm always asking questions.

And you know what?

That shows a sign of intelligence.

People who ask questions, that's what I heard.

I question it.

Wait, I saw this TikTok that really changed the course of my life because I can still remember it days later.

And it was saying how like our society hasn't like really caught up with like how we live.

Like really in the year 2025, men need marriage more than women, but like no one will admit that yet.

Like, we're just like, the times haven't caught up with it because women truly needed men for like financial

stability, but like because we don't need that anymore, men benefit from us more because we're like more organized, more like nurturing, like we help them make decisions, whatever.

And we're making money too, right?

But it was more a focus on like

in this day and age, women are thinking about having children in a more like logical way.

Yeah.

And

also times like haven't caught up.

And

that women like questioning motherhood

is a sign of intelligence.

Is a sign of intelligence.

I just saw it on TikTok.

We're on the same algorithm.

A sign of intelligence because it's the only thing in life that is irreversible.

Yes.

Like once you have a baby, that's it.

Your mother, you had a baby.

They basically said if you question motherhood, you're sane and you're normal because back then you couldn't question it.

So if you find yourself in this day and age being like a little nervous about motherhood, it's normal because it's fucking scary.

Like right.

And it was saying how like you truly do mourn the person you were before.

Yeah.

That's why like I have been at a lot of my comedy shows asking people if I should become a mother and I do crowd work about it because I feel like it's not talked about.

I think moms get a lot of people think motherhood is like really negative because it's so easy for moms to like bond over complaining.

It's like think about anything you do.

You're not like going around talking about the positives like you like making jokes.

You're venting.

You're venting about the negative.

So then it looks like motherhood is like so negative when it's not.

And then people who

do don't have kids like to lean in to the positivity of it because there's so much negativity towards that maybe so it's just like a lot of weird well did you see the chapel roan thing oh yeah people are mad mad so chapel rone said on a podcast like anything i've heard about motherhood from my friends at 27 years old is that like it's the worst and people were livid in her defense like she was talking about like her personal friends she wasn't like saying like every woman I've ever met who had a baby, but all these women started posting like videos with their child being like, I love motherhood.

And she's, and it was basically like, I'm not saying it's not good, like obviously it has good parts too.

And also people having kids in like their late 20s.

I'm sure it's so much harder.

I feel like Chapel's not going to go on a podcast for a while.

I feel like every time she speaks, something gets in the news.

Yeah, people are like, get mad.

She likes to just like talk like she's normal, but you can't when you're that level of fame because everything you say will get taken and judged.

Because I guess, yeah, if everyone's listening to what you're saying,

it's scary.

It's scary, but she is a damn good singer.

Yes, she is.

I watched the first season of White Lotus.

I caved.

I finally did it.

What'd you think?

I actually, the first season is probably like, no, people love the first season.

Just my favorite season is the second season.

Okay, I'm going to start that.

It's good.

It's in Italy.

So I'm currently trying to avoid any spoilers about the third season.

Oh, well, then you can't go on TikTok.

Nope.

I'm not online right now.

It's been quite peaceful.

It's funny that, like, because of TikTok, right when the show was over and I went on TikTok, like, it was already like things about the last episode.

Like, there's no wait time at all.

Spoiler alert.

Spoiler.

But the good thing is, things move so fast.

In like three days, it'll be out of the news cycle.

What's the deal with Mike White?

Wasn't he an actor?

No, he was a reality.

He was on Survivor.

Wait, I don't know the lore.

Wait, what is the lore behind Mike White?

I'm fascinated.

He was on Survivor and people loved him.

Like, he was a great, like, I recognize his face.

And then he just went on to like write these amazing, this amazing show.

I love when you can't put people in boxes, and I love people who went on reality TV and then do other great things.

I love a pivot.

A la Cardi B.

Yes.

We love a pivot.

But also, if I see another thing about Amy Lou Woods' teeth, I'm going to lose it.

I'm going to lose it.

Let the girl have her teeth.

Yeah, she's so British.

Why is this the most interesting thing on the news right now?

Is the fact that she

her teeth aren't.

That one girl doesn't have veneers.

Why don't we talk about all the people with veneers that shouldn't?

You know what people aren't talking about is how the whole the cast as a whole was like it was really hard to come back to like normal life because they lived there for like however long it took to film.

And like, they almost like started to go a little crazy.

Like, they couldn't differentiate.

Like, one of the actors was saying, like, we'd be sitting at dinner and I'd be like, wait, am I myself or my character?

Because, like, they were.

Because they're also on vacation.

Yeah.

I mean, they're working.

Isn't that such a mind fuck?

Wait, that's crazy.

I love that they got to go to like a beautiful place and film and it wasn't like.

Yeah.

And they were saying, like, you get so dehydrated there that like you have one drink and you're drunk like you have to drink so much water there

sounds like the moon

i wonder what it's like on the moon what's the white lotus

i said lutus

what's the white lotus on the moon episode gonna look like i'm in my white luteus phase

luteal phase i also watched the last show girl

you did with pamela anderson it's always gumming up on my Prime, and I never click it.

Was it good?

Aesthetically, it was beautiful.

She was amazing.

Story-wise, if I had to explain it without giving away any sh any

spoiler,

spoiler alert.

It's just about her being the last showgirl.

That's kind of it.

Thank you for that, Hannah.

Truly insightful.

She's just like, this is me as the last showgirl, and then you watch her be the last showgirl.

Okay, cool.

So you feel like it's you could skip?

You just have to kind of read the title and you get it.

I like Jamie Lee Curtis in it.

There's just, there's nothing happens, but she's the last showgirl.

Awesome.

I'm happy for her.

There has to be someone to wrap it up.

What are you watching?

I'm watching, I just watched, yeah, I watched the season finale of 1923 with my fake boyfriend.

I'm like obsessed with him.

That's Brandon Schollner's in that.

And then I'm watching Righteous Gemstones, and then I'm watching The Pit.

And now white lotus is over so like I'm down a show.

Yeah, you're down.

Yeah, I'm down.

I love how you have

a full roster.

Oh, yeah, I have my shows.

You have a show roster.

Yeah.

Is the pit still good?

People really like it.

Yeah, I'm like over it now.

Compared to Gray's Anatomy, what do you like better?

You can't hold a candle to Grey's Anatomy.

Well, Meredith Gray.

Is that her name?

Yep.

She has a show out.

Yeah, but it's one of those shows about that.

support women in the arts right now.

No, I'm supporting.

I'm supporting.

I support her.

I think she's great.

She speaks a lot of truths for women.

But the show is about that Natalia Grace, and that freaks me out.

That whole story.

I can't really watch another show about it.

Oh, I didn't realize that.

It's a scripted drama on it.

Yeah, about like them adopting a girl and them like figuring out that she's lying and like she tries to kill them.

And like, it's just, I can't do it.

I'm not in the right mindset.

But the Natalia Grace lore was,

was she trying to kill them?

Was she crazy?

Or did they realize she was a little difficult and they tried to make it like she was crazy to get rid of her?

It's just one of those cases where it's like, it's not, it's not my problem.

And I really can't die.

Like, it's

too eerie for me.

It's not, I need to stay away from that energy.

It's above your pay grade.

It truly is.

I really wish it would stop coming across my desk.

Wait.

Did you get your pimple injected?

Okay, you know, when I was really complaining about my skin and I just, my hormones were obviously all over the place because I wasn't getting my period,

which I still haven't, but whatever.

I was like trying to ride out my cystic pimples.

And I always forget when I get a cystic pimple that you can literally just go to the dermatologist and get them injected.

Wait, you were letting nature take its course.

I was trying to let nature take its course.

And also I was like, I can cure this.

I'll be fine.

And right when I called the dermatologist, she was like, Why didn't you call me like the day you felt it coming on?

Like, just come in and get it injected.

And I feel like I need to remind the girls also: you can go into your dermatologist, and the nurse will just inject your cystic pimples with like a saline solution, and it's literally gone in 24 hours.

I feel like once your pimple feels like it's like paying rent, like once it starts getting a head on top of a head, like once there's a family.

I mean, I had it for two weeks.

I was like, please, there was like a, it started getting a root like in you.

Get that shit.

I couldn't.

You love that.

The girls love,

the girly, especially the influencers, love posting their acne online more than anything.

It's just so, it's such a refreshing thing to say.

Because there are so many days where I, you, because you can't relate to this because you never break out and you always have good skin.

Oh my God, thank you.

I've been waiting for you to say that the whole podcast.

No, I've literally, in the almost 10 years that we've been friends, I think I've seen you have a pimple.

I'm not kidding, twice.

But you know what?

It's very dry and oily, but that's for another time.

It's for another day.

It's for another day.

But yeah, the girls, they like to post their pimples.

A la Alex Earl.

I saw you post it.

I commented brave on yours.

Is it kind of.

I literally commented brave.

Is it because like sometimes it's exhausting to be hot all the time and you just want people to to know that like you're a real one?

No, sometimes I'll post, I'll have so many posts of like retouched professional photos.

Yeah.

And I always think like, oh, there's a bunch of like 17 year old girls that follow me and I like want them to see my skin.

Yeah, not the 30 year olds though.

Well, yeah, them too, but also, but like they already know.

I don't have issues.

No, yeah.

I am not going to add something else to their plate.

I mean, come on.

How much can they handle?

Oh, God.

Anyway.

Anywho, we're going on Fallon this week.

Yes, we have a lot of press this week.

We're doing press for the book.

You're doing your outfits tonight?

Yeah, I have a fitting tonight.

Okay, I have some of my stuff.

I'm excited to post photos, see what the gigglers think of the fits.

And we're just so excited that the book's so close to being out.

But if you pre-order right now, you're basically going to to get it when it comes out.

I feel like, yeah, absolutely.

I don't know the rules.

I might have made that up.

No, I feel like two-day shipping is a real thing.

Hell yeah.

And I'm going to be in California this weekend.

If you live near San Francisco or LA, I am at casinos there

being crazy at the casinos.

And yeah, we love you guys.

Thank you so much for giggling with us.

See ya.

Bye.

I use Uber Eats for everything, and of course, I'm ordering food all the time, but I don't just order food on Uber Eats.

I order everything.

I order from the pharmacy.

I order hair care items.

I order alcohol.

Whatever I need, I'm ordering it on Uber Eats.

Also, whenever I go to a hotel, I always seem to forget something from home.

So, I'm ordering hairspray, I'm ordering bobby pins.

I just can't live without Uber Eats.

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For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age, so please enjoy responsibly.

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