Giggling about con mums, toe nails, and new friends

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As you guys know, I partnered with DSW to curate the cutest spring shoe collection. Just fabulous.
It's just so freaking adorable. Okay, so I picked a bunch of flats, a bunch of fun heels, and a bunch of sneakers.
I tried to do an equal amount because I know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know that there are a lot of pages. Also, I mean, did you see the gifting? How freaking cute were all of those little boxes? I was obsessed with them.
I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with like honestly with like sweatpants jeans capris I just feel like they've been my go-to for a little bit now and then I added a lot of really cute heels honestly I didn't even realize that I added a lot of white heels which I think is perfect because I feel like there's always girls getting married and having like all these different wedding things but I really tried to think like what do you need for spring so there's obviously a lot of like neutrals with heels and little kitten

heels but I'm obsessed with them so take a look at dsw.com right now the collection is live and

I'm sure I'll be reposting everyone wearing them

sup gigglers Harriet fix the wi-est that shit. We can't be managed.
I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my gregarious gigglers? Have I said that one before? I don't know, but why did it pop into my head, garage band? What's up, my garage band gigglers? Do you remember? Garage band? Kids who knew how to use garage band? I never knew how.
I was like they're gonna win a Tony. Yeah.
They're gonna win a Grammy. They're theater kids.
Yeah. With cooler outfits.
Sorry no hate to the theater kids. No hate to the theater kids.
We support. I'm always ragging on them.
You are. I know.
You are and you still haven't watched Wicked. I'm such a bully.
Like, I'm literally such a high school bully on this pod. I'm like, get in the locker, you theater nerd.
I performed at New Haven and I realized it's like where Yale is. So I got on stage and I'm like, what's up, you fucking nerds? And I was like, oh my God.
Wait, you're gorgeous right now.

Wait, can you guys mark that time code?

Why am I obsessed with your blue eyeshadow?

Do you know what's so funny?

I went to the bathroom before the pod looked at myself and I said,

if Paige doesn't mention my blue eyeshadow, she doesn't care about me.

And you brought it up within the first two minutes.

I love it.

It's like, I think it's something with your hair color and the blue and your eye color.

Because your hair color is honestly your eye color.

And so it's so cohesive.

Wait, I'm obsessed.

And you do your lips like the same color as your cheeks.

You're just...

Wait, it was a risk.

No, I love it.

What do you love?

I'm obsessed.

Okay, I think this blue,

it's like a matte light blue.

It's either Halsey's line.

No, I think it's about... It might not be.
I'll put it in the newsletter. I'll put it in the newsletter.
I hung out with a straight man accidentally. Where? Recently.
Why? Work stuff. Okay.
Chris, tell me if I'm right or wrong. They do this thing where like, when they try to connect with you, they keep showing you YouTube videos.
And it made me feel like an outdoor cat who brings you a dead pigeon. And you go, oh, and then you go, oh, wait, that's their love language.
Yeah. Oh, they're trying to connect.
They're trying to connect. That's them showing affection.
Because he showed me one video. And you know, like you get the point after.
Yeah. And it like.
Oh, my God. That's so funny.
I sat there for like two minutes watching it. And like.
Oh, you watched the full. Yeah.
And then I was like, OK, that was a one off. Yeah.
Really is passionate about this video. And like 10 seconds later, he's like, oh, watch this.
And I was like, oh, this is. This is a thing.
This is a thing in the community. Chris, is this what you guys do? Yeah, I call it YouTube waterboarding.
Wait. YouTube waterboarding? What are men?

Like men?

That was the question.

What are men?

What are men?

Like, I was actually...

Wait, do you guys waterboard each other?

Yeah.

Do you ever say, bro, I don't want to watch this?

Yeah, that's why I started calling it waterboarding.

Because all men do is hang out and go, bro, watch this.

There's something also about when someone's watching me watch a video,

I can't enjoy the video.

Me neither.

There's too much stimulation.

You know when the whole men think about World War II or talk about it,

I was with a man recently, and I don't know how it came up in conversation.

It was something on TV.

And I was like, is that true?

Do you guys really talk about World War II all the time? And he was like, no. We talk about gladiators.
And I was like, got it, got it, got it. Do you know Des studied history? Really? And now I'm realizing it's because he just wanted to learn about gladiators.
Yeah. Yeah.
They love it. They talk about how football players are the modern day gladiators.
That's what I was told. And I was like, I see how you got there.
No, I definitely see how you got there. This is the thing.
Men love, they do love knowing about wars, but they don't like to learn from history. Yeah.
Or learn about women's bodies. Like they'll remember every, like 1912 war, but they can't remember where your clit is.
Like there's just like a cognitive dissonance that I've been trying to nail down. When you're talking about war, I'd like to be like, and why do you think that happened? They didn't have a good relationship with their mothers, is why.
I had the most page coded weekend I think I've ever, like if I look back on my Friday and Saturday, I'm like, this is who I am. You feel aligned in your destiny.
Friday, I had to go to Albany because we have this like it's called Ford Orange Club and it's like a like a social club. It's not like a country club.
It's like a social club. Whatever that means.
Sounds important. It sounds important.
Like every month they have like a guest speaker or whatever. Ford Orange does sound like a strain of weed.
Yeah, Ford Orange. It's like.
You got that good Ford Orange, right? Look at me pretending I smoke weed. Yeah, that Ford Orange last night was crazy, bro.
I smoked it. Oh, God.
I need a YouTube series where you just get high like and we count the minutes it'll be just me staring at my fingernails for two hours but who knows maybe that's our asmr so you go to ford orange and i have to give like i have to be like the guest speaker whatever and we're driving there my parents are coming with me because it's like a local whatever i have no idea what to expect i zero questions. I love that.
So page coded. I was just like, yep, I'll be there.
And I have I know what I'm wearing. So like I don't need to know anything else.
You know, I was like, yeah. And that's how she deals with Giggly Squad shows as well.
Packed my outfit and I'm done. So I get there and my mom's like, what are you going to say? And I'm like, Kim.
Kim, that's not my business. That's like a not – it's none of my business what I say up there.
So I get up there like on the stage and I'm just like looking around the room and it's just like seven rows of like white men's pictures and like black and white photos like frames. And I was just like, they would hate this right now.
They're rolling in their graves with their dad bots. I'm literally up there being like, fuck the patriarchy.
Do whatever you want. You start a feminist rant at this like old man rally.
They're even too old for January 6th. But it's all gigglers in the crowd.
So we're just like, everyone's hyping each other up. Anyway.
Okay.

That's on Friday.

That same day, don't you know, the FDA approves a new UTI drug. I'm getting it sent to me in my DMs.
Like, everyone's like, oh my God, Paige, you're going to want to see this news. Yeah, people are sending it to me to send to you.
It was like the first drug that they've approved in like 30 years. Okay.
Later that evening, I get the worst UTI I've ever gotten in my entire life. But this happens to you every week.
No, I really haven't gotten one. Okay, I've lied sometimes.
Remember when you had to miss the podcast last week? Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry. I get the craziest raging UTI.
I like have extra pills, whatever. I wake up Saturday morning.
I telehealth it up. I'm like, hey, I get a new prescription.
Saturday night I go with my brother and his girlfriend to the Tom Segura standup show. Chris DiStefano killed.
Shout out Chrissy D. It was so much.
I love it was at MSG. It was just so fun.
I was home. I was in bed by 10.
I was asleep by 11. Oh, it was just gorgeous.
I have a question. Yeah.
Does being single correlate with less UTIs? Okay. Well, you'd think.
You'd freaking think. Because I'm Friday night.
Like, obviously, I'm still I'm 32 years old, but like I was home. So like when I step into Albany and I step onto my parents' street, I'm 16.
100%. I'm 16.
I have to ask to leave the house. Like I could never just leave my house.
No. Like that would be insane.
Get permission. Ask when they want you home.
So it's like Friday night. Sneak in a weed pen.
10 o'clock and I'm like burns a little and my mom can hear me and here's the other thing. I'm in the bathroom in my room for like a while but my bathroom is above her bedroom so she knows when I'm in the bathroom.
She knows when you have a tummy ache. So if I'm in there too long, she's like, what's she doing in there?

Wait, that is so funny.

You guys have an unhealthy relationship.

Very.

Yeah.

So she comes up.

I hear her coming up the stairs.

What's going on?

Are you okay?

And, like, I immediately turn 16.

I'm like, I think I actually might have a UTI, but I promise I actually didn't even have sex. And she just looks at me and she goes, okay.
She was like, well, you don't always have to have sex to get a UTI, you whore. I was like, yeah.
She goes, I just was giving blowjobs. I wasn't letting him go in.
I just didn't know. But I'm like racking my brain because I'm like, how did I get one without having sex? You sat on an MSG chair with like mostly men in that stadium.
I don't know. And then I was like, well, did I use a new soap? Like have I? And I was like, you know what? I think my immune system's just down.
Like I'm coming up with like all these things. But anyway.
You were, you actually weren't late, but you messaged me that you might be late because Kitty was making biscuits on your face.

And I realized if you have a cat and your cat's making biscuits on your face, Google making biscuits.

If you don't know, I honestly don't have the time to explain it.

It's dermaplaning.

No, it's literally.

It's lymphatic mizzot.

Yeah, it's amazing.

I was like, yeah, de-puff me.

I like to let the Googlers know like where we are in our cycles.

I got my period. It woke me up yesterday morning like violently.
Okay. I'm actually so glad you brought this up because obviously I'm updating the gigglers on my egg freezing process.
Yeah. Did I tell them how they want me to go on birth control? Yeah.
Oh, I did? I think so. Okay.
They want me to go on birth control for like a week and I was just like, I don't want to. So I have to wait till May to see if I get my period naturally.
And if I don't get it naturally, then I am going to just do it for the week. Do you think if you just like hang out with me enough days in a row, like my alpha energy of my period might like synchronize with your eyes? Well, I actually think I am supposed to have my period right now because my boobs are a little bit big.
That's – Wait, also I'm wearing – Wait, also? Chris, look away. I'm wearing the Skims nipple bra because I just wanted to see what it looked like.
Is that still available? Oh. You almost poked me in the eye.
I'm kind of obsessed. I need to get it in nude.

Yeah.

Well, I love that for you.

Thank you.

I love how she's like, this is the sass on my nipples, my UTI.

Yeah.

I PMS'd so bad on like the day – two days before my period.

And it was a weird PMS where like I had no one I was mad at,

no one I knew of who was mad at me, nothing that was stressing me out. But like the PMS is stronger than all those factors.
You were enraged. I was in and I was sitting there and I knew that I was losing my mind.
Yeah. And I was I was anxious about nothing.
Yeah. And it was so frustrating because like you feel crazy.
Like I was just sitting there like you just feel like you want to punch something, but you have no valid reason. Yeah.
Every day there's something that goes wrong. So normally I can put it into that.
But I really had a very low drama day. So I was just sitting there fighting my own battles.
No, honestly, for the past three months, I've used the phrase, can I just have a day? Like I've texted so many of my girlfriends. They'll like send me something like, did you see this? Did you see that? I'm like, can I just have a day where someone's not pissing me the fuck off? Just eight hours, not even a full day.
Just a work day. Just a work day.
Just a nine to five work day. So yeah, I was PMSing really bad, got my period.
Everyone's okay now. I use Uber Eats for everything.
And of course, I'm ordering food all the time. But I don't just order food on Uber Eats.
I order everything. I order from the pharmacy.
I order hair care items. I order alcohol.
Whatever I need, I'm ordering it on Uber Eats. Also, whenever I go to a hotel, I always seem to forget something from home.

So I'm ordering hairspray.

I'm ordering bobby pins.

I just can't live without Uber Eats.

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For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age,

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Not available in all states. I do have one thing to bring to the forefront that I've been seeing on my TikTok.
Please. I keep getting like all these TikToks of like Selena and Benny and like they've been doing like press and like whatever.
I like their song Sunset Boulevard.

Yeah, and I like them.

Have you seen his toenails?

No, that hasn't come across my desk.

Do us a favor.

Type in Benny Blanco's toenails.

Poor Chris.

He's like, can I have a day?

No, literally.

He's like, give me a day.

They are amazing.

The art?

Are we talking about the art? Yes. This man, and I can't believe I'm even saying this because if someone said like, oh, he paints his toenails, I'd be like, ick.
No, they're literally works of art. Please Google the sushi one.
Wait, like should be in the MoMA. No, like he literally.
Wait, so if your boyfriend started doing this. Honey, not mine.
Honey, not mine. Oh, honey, not mine.
My brand. Well, my thing is that it takes forever.
Yeah. But like what a quirky, fun, creative thing.
He's very quirky. Like I like it for him.
Not my man. Can I say a hot take? Mm-hmm.
Selena's been through a lot. Yeah.
And a lot of time when people have a traumatic relationship in the public eye, the next relationship they decide to keep it private. Yes.
They're not. No.
Do you think that she's just like, this is my life, I might as well monetize it? What a great deep question, Hannah. I'm going to tell you what I really feel from the bottom of my soul.
I think she feels so protected by him that – She wants to show it off. There's nothing that could – anyone on the outside world could say or do about their relationship that would throw them off.
This is a perfect example.

And people will always say like,

Paige, you shouldn't say that.

He should.

Wait.

What?

I didn't say it yet.

I didn't say it yet.

Because I'm getting to it.

Like I'm always like the guy should love the girl more.

Yeah.

100%.

Like full stop.

I don't care what your reasoning is that it should be equal.

It shouldn't.

This is a perfect example. He loves her so much more.
You can just tell. And that's how it should be.
And that's why they're perfect. I also was going to argue they're perfect.
Chris, are you trying to show us more toes? I mean, is that not the craziest thing you've ever seen? Yeah. I mean, he's a creative.
Also, he shaved his toes for that one. I wonder if that was part of the aesthetic yeah i love that okay you can put it away chris thank you chris does love it okay chris is gonna show up um i love that i found out benny blanco's written every single song ever yeah no literally like ever ever and i love hearing musicians talk about writing songs like, yeah, I did, like, a one-two beat.
Yeah. And then I said California Girls.
Yeah. And then, like, the biggest hit ever.
It's just a different part of their brain. But he is so successful and hasn't been in the room with every famous artist so he can, like, handle her fame.
100%. Sometimes I feel like maybe she would want to protect who she's dating from all the shit that she gets.
I mean, he's been called literally a sewer troll for the last like two or year or whatever they've been dating. But I guess you're right.
Like they're used to the public eye in a way. He has the zaniness where he could like handle it.
I just love a man who's self-aware enough to be like my job is to make her life easier. Yeah.
Oh yeah. The day I meet someone that's like I just want to make your life easier.
Yeah. I'm like I'm nervous about it just because I'm like protective of them and I feel like they're giving too much.
They've done a couple morning shows. They're gonna be fine.
Yeah. Justin and Haley.
Like it's still this thing where like everyone compares and all this stuff. So the more you give, the more people can have opinions.
I couldn't imagine that. I mean dealing with it for, they've been dealing, I've been literally dealing with a breakup for like three months and I want to shoot myself in the eye.
No, I know. They've been dealing with this for almost 10 years.
Their whole life. Like that I would.
I could never. And Benny is friends with Justin.
Like they've written songs together. Yeah.
Because famous people, it's like a little high school. Yeah.
They all like date and fuck each other. But I love it.
I love it. I love it.
I would argue if you're inspired by Selena and Benny's relationship, how do I say this in a nice way? Don't settle for the ugly guy that likes you a lot because he's not Benny Blanco. He's not as rich or successful or nice.
And when you settle for an ugly guy, he's actually the one that's going to break your heart, rip out your heartstrings more than anyone because you were like i was doing a make-a-wish you liked me first i felt safe and then they get confident for a second because a cute girl like them and then they will ruin you more than like any hot dude you've ever dated if i had to rank all my boyfriends in my head my two ugliest ruin my life every it's always like matt a guy named matt who you were like i pulled you out of yeah like out of obscurity literally literally literally so i'm just saying don't like go but let me tell you something else the good looking ones also fuck yeah true you know i think the key is to find a good looking guy. No, there's no key.
No, no key. No, no key.
I truly think it is. He has to be a little bit more obsessed with you than you are with him.
But not too much more than it gets restraining order-y. Yeah, than it gets ick.
But like he has to think about you more than you think about him. I always say that he has to know first.
Yeah, 100%. I don't mean he has to choose you.
I just mean he has to fucking know first. And you can't have to convince him at all.
If you're trying to convince him, because I would argue that no one changes. Nobody changes.
Well, we're just saying generic statements now. Do you want to know something? No one changes.
My grandma, rest in peace. Oh my god, rest in peace.

My grandma gave me two

pieces of advice and I

remember them to this day. The first one

she said, if you're dating someone

new page, you have to experience

all four seasons with them because

people are different at different

times of the year. And

two, people don't change.

And I feel like I get pushback on that statement so much where it's like I feel like bridesmaids where it's like well they grow they don't people don't change they can give you like a representative for a certain amount of time and I've met I've met some amazing representatives my biggest advice with dating because now I'm remembering what I used to be when dating, is I would like see a guy I wanted.

And then I would just take in all the information of like what he wanted.

Yeah.

And like respond the way I thought he wanted to respond.

And like men are kind of simple.

And the next thing you know, like I would be a representative.

Yeah.

And then you look in the mirror and you're like, who the fuck is this?

And even though he likes you, you don't like who you've become. Yeah.
And you're like, wait, I got what a representative. And then you look in the mirror and you're like, who the fuck is this? And even though he likes you, you don't like who you've become.
And you're like, wait, I got what I wanted and I miss who I was. So that was like how I dated.
I feel like we dated very differently, but had like the same problem. Like you even saying like you saw a guy you wanted and you go after them.
I had a therapist tell me one time like of all the dating stories you tell me never once have you picked the guy like you keep letting them pick you and you don't like them. Like why do you let them pick you? I love when I see a girl like meet a really good looking guy and be like I talked to him and like we just didn't hit it off because like when I was younger I was like no he's good looking like obviously I want to be with him.
I was very, I was like, no, he's good looking. Yeah.
Obviously, I want to be with him.

I was very, I really was shallow with men.

Not my outfits, not myself, but with men.

You loved having like a good looking man who people thought was cool.

Loved it.

Like, oh, that's Hannah's boyfriend.

Like a handbag.

Yeah.

And because I thought it was.

See, I loved a pet project.

No.

Yeah.

See, I thought it was like feminist.

Yeah.

I felt like a like an ugly man.

Thank you. And then I'd be like, and this is why your mom doesn't love you.
I had something crazy happen to me this week. Tell them.
There's a tennis player named Kim Clijsters. Okay.
Who's one of the greatest tennis players of all time. Won multiple Grand Slams.
She messaged me a while ago and was like, love your special. And I was like, Kim Clijsters, I love you.
Remember when you saw Coco Gauff at Vanity Fair and you literally. I was like, hi, Coco.
And she was so nice. Lost your mind.
I lost my mind. Yeah.
She was so cool. Hi Coco, love you.
So Kim Clijsters was like, oh my God, you play tennis? We should hit sometimes. That's like, okay, let me try to think of your world.
Give me an analogy. I'm going to give you an analogy.
That's like Victoria Beckham was like, hey, do you want to get lunch? That's like Victoria Beckham being like, hey, I'm going to go shopping. go shopping can you help me no and you didn't do anything to make her do that like she was like hey page i love your outfit can you come shopping with me oh my god no i would cry so i'm sitting i thought she was like being nice yeah didn't say anything because i'm not like that okay yeah i'm not good at at talking to important people if they want to talk to me that's fine but i'll get out of it pretty quick before I embarrass myself.
So then like she commented on some, we were like kind of commenting a little bit and she kept being like, when do you want to hit? And I was like. She was following up with the plan.
She was just like. She's following it in.
Yes. So then the other week she was like, Hannah, are you in town? And I was like, you know, actually I am.
Like Giggly Squad tour is over. I'm in town in town and she's like do you want to hit on friday and i was like that would be the greatest thing that ever happened so where'd you go so we go to this place in like hell's kitchen she came from new jersey okay which is like a while so i immediately felt pressure i was like she came all the way from new jersey i can't fuck this shit up yeah mind you my cardio is not great right now i've been on planes I'm trying to come up with excuses I've look I'm not have I told you about my walking pad um I told everyone about my walking pad I'm gonna put it in instead of therapy I'm obsessed with my walking pad and if you think have you been getting the tiktoks of the girls with the splits machines? Splits machines?

Like you do a split?

Yeah, it's like a machine

It's like you put your legs

It looks like stirrups

Like, or it looks like the things like when you go to the gynecologist

Like you put your legs in them

Oh, and you push it together?

And then you crank this thing

No, you crank this thing and it stretches your legs

And you just like sit like that

So girls are just gonna tear their groins

Well, my ordered one

Wait, I'm getting the ones where your body just like shakes Oh, you are So you like that. So girls are just going to tear their groins.
Well, my ordered one.

Wait, I'm getting the ones where your body just like shakes.

Oh, you are. So you like have an exorcism.

My goal is I want to be able to do a split by July.

Wait, I love that you brought that up

because I've never come close to a split.

Me neither.

And I think the universe did that to me

because they knew if I could do a split.

It's all you would do.

It's all I would do and you'd get super annoying.

You would hop down into a split anywhere we were. I'd be in a split right now split right now yeah also I do have to say when I would sex back in my day I was like split on the dick rotate like I was false advertising that shit I was oh my I was like leg behind my head both legs behind my head and then I show up in this place and I'm like no my stomach hurts you ever actually tried to put your leg behind your head and it starts shaking and you're like that's so embarrassing I've never even gotten to the shaking part my legs just like no but I think it's genetic that people can do splits I think it's probably like you know people come out of the womb and they're like just like doing splits wait why am I jealous how flexible babies are they're so flexible do you ever see them just like put their foot in their mouth yeah what's the age that you like you're starting to lose your flexibility and you don't even know what's the age where all your trauma starts to get stored in your hips yeah so anyway i have all my trauma stored in my hips my lower back and i go up to meet kim klysters and when i tell you she's cool like she's from belgium she some guys there recognizes her speaking french to her she's speaking's speaking French.
She's awesome. We get on the court

and we start hitting

and it's like incredible.

Like I'm hitting with the woman

I used to watch on TV.

And also it's like her art.

Right.

This is her.

This is a story of

it was good to meet your hero.

Yes.

Yeah.

But you're like,

what's the point of this story?

Can we wrap it up?

Okay.

A lot of side tangents but long story short 10 minutes in

i was like really excited what'd you wear i just wore a white polo and lululemon leggings and coco golf new balance shoes it wasn't a look okay but it was like primed to perform okay so 10 minutes some say if you look good you play good but Nope.

Not here.

We don't say it here.

Serena Williams did say that.

So I don't know if you've ever been like nervous plus hyped up. Sure have.
Yeah. Sure fucking have.
You're already like breathing heavy. Plus like she obviously doesn't miss.
Right. 10 minutes in, I'm like, I'm going to croak.
Yeah. Like I need an an oxygen tank so i start just like bringing up conversation like oh quick question trying to like catch your own breath no i can't breathe and yeah i'm like it's also because i haven't played and i went from like zero to 100 yeah i keep pretending to tie my shoes like i like took off my shoe at one point and read i like took apart my shoe re-put my shoe together and then we sit down and she's asking me

like nice questions

and I'm trying to talk

but I'm

I'm literally

so out of breath

I can't speak

how long do you play for?

so

we ended up

talking a lot

because I was

like about to faint

and we ended up

probably total playing

for like 25-30 minutes

I felt bad

but like

you know

she wasn't there

to have like

the hit of her life

right

but I

I like

I did well

yeah

and I hadn't played

in a couple months

yeah

and I feel like

newly inspired

Thank you. but like you know she wasn't there to have like the hit of her life right um but i i like i did well yeah and i hadn't played in a couple months yeah and i feel like newly inspired and and now you're friends and and i have new best friends wait so that was the point of the story you have a new friend and you wanted to run it by me and see how i felt about it yes and you tried to distract me with that you love tennis she loves tennis i don't really care about tennis.
You even said we didn't even wear good outfits you would have had a horrible time. I did then afterwards you know when you leave and then I was also PMSing so I was like I don't know if she liked me if she went all the way away from New Jersey she has a family she left her family that wasn't worth it I literally convinced myself it was that I wasted her time and then the next day she texted me and I've been married for a while yeah I felt like you forgot what it was you know after a date when you're like 50 50 and then he texts you and you go yeah yeah I mean I crash yeah and you go from nothing to being like am I the greatest who it? Yeah.
So, but now I don't know what to text her.

What do I do?

You're always in this predicament.

I always get in this.

I think I'm shyer.

Yeah.

With like text maybe.

Yeah, you are.

Then you are in person.

It's because I have a friend named Haley who I love, Haley Nicola.

She listens to every episode, not Haley Biebs. And Haley harasses me over text, you are.
Then you are in person. It's because I have a friend named Haley who I love.
Haley Nicola. She listens to every episode.
Not Haley

Beeps. And Haley

harasses me over text.

No, Haley. Texting

should be studied. So I

warn people. I say Haley is the

greatest human on this planet. The greatest.

You gotta carve out at least 45

minutes if you're gonna throw her a text. I go do

not judge her by her texting

habits because Haley likes to text continuously as the thoughts come to her. And she's quick.
God forbid she thinks before she texts. She starts off with, hey, you're watching her come up with it as she texts you.
And if you look at your phone, it looks like corn on the cob. Just like da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
So Haley, I love you. So anyway, I'm working on a new friendship i'll keep you guys posted okay if you guys watch my amazon live then you've heard this story before but when my brother comes and stays at my apartment sometimes my skincare will go missing but the number one thing he's always stealing is my coda lee vino perfect serum if you haven't tried it it's and if you haven't heard of coda lead then listen up the vino perfect serum is 62 times more effective than vitamin c to bright and even your skin tone it truly is like i don't know what is in this bottle but it's sold globally every 15 seconds so you guys have to catch on it's clinically proven to visibly reduce dark spots by 63 after just one bottle and effective on all types of dark spots caused by the sun acne and pregnancy you guys really do have to try it it's i've been using it for oh my gosh i don't even know how long probably like seven years now it's one of the best products i've ever used Codaly is available at Sephora and Codalie.com okay so you guys know that I'm obviously no stranger to UTIs and I got inundated with messages when I had my really bad UTI a couple weeks ago and one of the things that people told me to buy was O-positive O-positive is a women's health company they offer a range of symptom targeting supplements that support women at every stage of life from their first period to well beyond their last.
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That's A-U-R-A frames.com to get $35 off plus free shipping on their best-selling carver matte frame that's a u r a frames.com with promo code giggly support giggly squad by mentioning us at checkout terms and conditions apply i have another hot take okay i watched the baldwin okay it's literally keeps getting advertised to me on my amazon prime it's like shows you would like, shows you would like, shows you would like. I'm like, I can't.
How is that? So I have a lot of thoughts. Okay.
First off, I watched the Rust, which is a documentary about what happened. Okay, with the whole like Spanish accent thing? No, with the whole Alec Baldwin murdering.
murder with the whole like spanish accent thing no with the whole alec baldwin murdering oh the whole shooting incident now i sound so insensitive i'm like they made a documentary about her fake accent the truth is the reality series is covering him going through the trials okay and she's also they acknowledge like that she's gets a lot of hate for her spanish stuff like they don't ignore it at all all. Wow.
Because basically they're like, if you're going to do it, you have to show us this stuff. Why are they doing this? I think it's a money thing.
I think they might take money. I mean, they got a fucking baseball team.
I have to say the first episode, I was intrigued. Really? And it's because, first of all, you're watching an A-lister, Al Baldwin.
He's going through the trauma of- And I think she's gorgeous. Like- She's gorgeous.
Yeah. The trauma, you're watching the trauma of him, like, it's unfathomable, like how horrible what happened.
Yeah. And he's clearly in, like, a really bad place.
Like, shock. And they're in, like, a four or five bedroom apartment in New York City with seven kids.
And they go through and, like, describe each of the kids kind of like the seven dwarves. Like, they're like, he's dopey.
He's silly. This one's – No.
Seven kids is crazy. I'm obsessed.
Like, I like i loved watching like lives of the rich and famous

like mother vh1 oh my god remember that guy's voice yeah it was like it was like british was like paris hilton has seven thousand water bottles and you're just like oh my god she she She had 40 billion crystals on her toilet.

And if you think that was crazy,

wait till her 21st birthday. Like that was his voice and I love that fucking guy.
Bring that show back. Bring that show back.
Where is that show? His estate on the mountain. No one's allowed to go unless...
I love seeing like people's rich, crazy lives, but like this is insane. But you do see like their relationship is different than you think.
It's actually so funny you say that. Like obviously the Internet is built and like influencers is built on like relatability in some capacity.
Like I love seeing a bitch that I relate to. But the second best thing is someone I don't relate to at all.
Like i'm like that's intrigue a woman with seven kids i can't relate i understand why this was like greenlit because it's there's so much crazy stuff i i don't love that the kids are on tv especially like the oldest one who's amazing and so funny and so cute but like they don't just have seven kids they have

four cats and four dogs no so like there's mental illness happening no that's so i'm intrigued i'm like i need to understand what's going on i'm locked into this and she you know she has a sense of humor she has a charisma she has a charisma so she was a yoga teacher which you I know yoga teachers are fucking bonkers.

Crazy.

Crazy the fuckers.

But yoga teachers are like,

if- She has a charisma, honey. She has a charisma.
So she was a yoga teacher, which you know yoga teachers are fucking bonkers. Crazy.
Crazy the fuckers. But yoga teachers are like, if I'm going to talk to someone in the room, I want to talk to the yoga teacher because she's going to be inspiring.
She's loony, manifesting shit. So she handles him because he's, also he's hilarious.
Like he randomly would just be doing funny voices. The daughter was like, 50% of the time, my dad's really funny.
And then 50% of the time, he's like, in the 80s, this is what it was like. I'm like, that's literally how I talk about Des.
Yeah. You're like, that's so funny.
That's how my husband is. But, like, he's an A-list actor.
So, every now and then he's doing, like, funny voices. And you realize, like, he's just kind of this creative guy.
His dad wanted him to get into, like, a real job. And he wanted to to be an actor and he's just a creative actor.
She looks at him and says all these like inspirational things while he's like clearly like he's. Are they in love? I think they're functioning.
Who loves the other one more? I feel like he's broken. Okay.
Perfect. He's broken.

And she, he basically was like, I had.

And she's uplifting.

He literally said, I had the worst home life and horrible family life.

And all I wanted was to come home to a home full of children and a wife that holds me down.

Damn.

And he's like, she keeps my life together. And she is the, like, the uplifting positive voice that I need.

And she's, he can be like grumpy and stuff. And she always is positive.
By the way, nothing happens in the show. Like the first episode is like you get the point.
Yeah. Because the first episode is them in the city being like, OK, we're going to go out to the Hamptons.
Not that easy when you have seven kids and seven animals. I mean, you don't even fit in one car.
And they have two nannies. So they have three cars and they have a whole chart system

and the kids are biting each other

and crying and they can't find a cat.

I actually can't wait

to make my first chart system as a mom.

No, so she's like,

and Alec Baldwin goes,

whatever you do,

I don't want the cats in the car.

I love them, but I'm allergic

and to be in the car I can't do.

Of course, she puts all the cats in his car.

Yeah. I don't know if it produces where I'm't probably produce his word.
But like it's a fascinating look into these people's lives. But they talk about how yeah they kind of have to hide a lot.
They just like hide together and they have each other. But what happened on that set with Helena the director is so devastating because basically they didn't long short, they didn't have a lot of funding.
They ended up hiring a girl who like wasn't really qualified for the, and her job was to manage the guns. And what happened is there's not supposed to be any real rounds on set.
Like at all. At all.
And it was randomly in a bunch of guns, real bullets. No, bullets no that's so so like the fact that it didn't happen before he did it is like a miracle and the day this is really upsetting but the day that it happened the day before a bunch of people had quit because they felt like it wasn't safe because there had been like some mistakes and they were like we can't be on this set anymore we don't feel like it's safe oh my god and some cameramen quit and that's why the director was standing up by the camera because normally she would be away back and that's why when he so oh my god I'm gonna I'm like shaking so it's fucking insane and he's lived a long life and he's like this this is nothing like I've ever been able to deal with before.
Yeah, like by far the craziest thing that's ever happened to me. Fast forward, everyone's talking about, speaking of Hollywood, the studio.
Seth Rogen, have you watched? I have watched. Thoughts.
People are loving it. What are they loving? I don't need to be stressed out when I'm watching TV.
And they're calling it cringe comedy. It's not cringe.
It's I'm stressed out comedy. Like, you know, it's like, I tripped.
Then I broke my leg. Then someone needs my leg.
Then I lose money. And I don't have any money.
And then I'm lying in the street. I'm like, I'm stressed.
It's not my type. It's not my type of humor.
Wait, so you agree with me? I agree with you. Okay, I thought I was crazy.
Because people were like, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. Do I think the cinematography is fantastic? Phenomenal.
Do I love every actor in it? Absolutely. Was Martin Scorsese incredible? Chef's Kiss.
Is Seth Rogen a genius? Yeah. A master of his time? Yes.
But like, not my sense of humor. Not my sense of humor.
I do like that it is, it feels, it feels like they really did take from their lives like these are real scenarios look am i gonna be watching every episode yes well there's nothing else do i there's nothing else anymore and when apple comes out with something they don't fuck around yeah they're quality over quantity have you heard about the pit i watch it is it about a hospital you would hate it this is the thing everyone's saying it's good but I get- You would dislike it. If I see it.
Is it about a hospital? You would hate it. This is the thing.
Everyone's saying it's good, but I am, I get. You would dislike it.
If I see blood. It's really good because it's one, the season is one day.
It's one day broken up into like the hours of the day is each of the episodes. Did you ever watch 24? I heard of it.
Okay, so it's like that

where it's like one day

in the hospital

and it's really good

because there is a really

like realistic factor in it.

Not that I've ever worked

in a hospital or like no.

You're like,

but I watch Grey's Anatomy so.

This is actually,

that's a real term they use.

Compared to Grey's Anatomy,

is it accurate?

I think it's accurate.

It's similar to Grey's Anatomy but it's not as like romantic as like Grey's Anatomy, is it accurate? I think it's accurate. It's similar to Grey's Anatomy, but it's not as romantic as Grey's Anatomy.
Grey's Anatomy was a fucking sex show. Would you hook up with McDreamy? Hell yeah.
What? Have you ever watched Scandal? Yeah. Would you rather hook up with McDreamy or the president? McDreamy.
McDreamy. McSteamy, actually.
I was more of a McSteamy gal. Okay, I have to look at them all up.
But, like, obviously, if they're over 40, I'm in. But the main doctor in the pit is so hot.
Like, that's who you're... Like, I'm watching for him.
And there's something about, like, a man in charge who, like, keeps his cool. It's just so fucking hot.
Hot take. I think there's more male doctors because they don't have empathy.
Wow. What an interesting take.
Like women are – They're more nurturing so like they'd have more like it would be too tough. I don't know.
do know that the nurses that are primarily women it's just weird the nurses are primarily women and let's be honest the nurses are doing everything the doctor comes in and it's the show actually kind of like there's one head nurse and it's like she's running yeah and then the doctor comes in and goes you're welcome walks out yeah um but there is a sense of like being a doctor is about like every day you can see the most depends what kind of doctor you are, obviously. Sometimes you're just like, but this is great.
This show is trauma. Yeah.
Like they're a trauma center. You have to go home after that.
And like, I don't know how they do that. And like talk to your wife.
I don't know how anyone in the medical field legitimately did COVID. Though like I shout out to all of them for.
I'd love to know how many people after COVID in the medical field quit. Well, because it was it was irrational and insane and they went above and beyond to like help the world.
Yeah. But I also maybe it's kind of like me with watching murder documentaries where like maybe some of these people are like whatever happens during the day reminds myself my day could have been worse like maybe like maybe they're like I can handle all this because then I'll be grateful that like I'm alive that's how people feel watching reality tv exactly they're like well I don't got those kind of problems oh one more thing I was watching con mom I think I saw an advertisement.

It's on Netflix.

Oh, my gosh.

It's documentary style.

You guys love I Know A Khan.

It's like a girl or a woman that pretends to be someone's mom.

So I don't want to give away who she is, but basically this, like, adorable pastry chef

meets a woman who's also adorable.

They fall in love.

They get pregnant. She realizes he has some demons that he hasn't worked out.
If I had a nickel. Perfect type.
Yep. She's like, I will fix you.
And he's like, I don't talk to my dad anymore. He was like, not cool.
And I don't know who my mom is. And out of nowhere, he gets an email from someone being like, hey, I'm your mom.

And he asks her like a bunch of questions and she knows the answers to all of them about his life.

And she's like changed her name a couple of times.

Wait, spoiler alert.

Just waiting for people to click off.

Is it the wife?

No.

OK.

But I love your thinking.

You sick buck.

OK, keep going.

So then he meets her and she destroys their lives. Is she...
Spoiler alert. Wait, spoiler alert.
Is she his... Spoiler alert.
Spoiler alert. I've been saying that the whole time.
Wait, why don't people use the phrase spoiler alert in more like everyday jargon when it has you're not gonna spoil anything but like anytime i'm gonna say t now and i'd be like spoiler alert she's a fucking cunt you go how's your day spoiler alert not good wait why do i want to call my next special spoiler alert wait i kind of love it i I know. Okay, but true.
I have a question. So spoiler alert.
Is she his real mom? Spoiler alert. No way.
But that's like a real spoiler. Wait, that's a really big spoiler.
Okay, the other spoiler alerts are like. Those were fake.
That was real. Wait, that's great.
Okay, I'm going to watch that tonight then because I clicked it and I was like, I don't know. Grace Grace can you bleep out my answer Cause I don't I feel like I'll ruin it for people Okay Oh my god Spoiler alert Spoiler alert But like Conning and lying It is crazy How you watch people Who are very intelligent Very smart For whatever reason Get literally groomed Final thought It's about to be fucking April Time when you're having fun.
We're about to go on a book press run. Yeah, we are.
And we're so excited. We have to get a lot of outfits.
No. How are you doing? I'm not doing good.
I'm not doing good. Okay.
I'm not doing good. Spoiler alert.
Spoiler alert. Not doing good.
Not great over here. I have like one outfit.
We're doing Drew Barrymore tomorrow, which I'm very excited for. And we're sitting on the couch on Fallon.
Yeah, we're going to pop over to Jimmy Fallon quick. We're going to say hi to Jim's St.
Rose alumni. Here's the thing with Jimmy Fallon.
I just love it so much. There's something about late night talk shows that are like very exciting to me.
And what I'm most nervous about is anyone like a celebrity that I love, like if they're on Jimmy Fallon, I will watch their interview on Jimmy Fallon. He's my favorite of all the late night hosts.
What's significant about this is like this is Hollywood shit. Like this is a late night sitting down.
No, I'm crying. And it's important because back then there were so many like gatekeepers that would prevent two girls who are funny from making it to the couch at Jimmy Fallon.

And it's because of you guys.

Yeah.

And because of TikTok and because of podcasting that we're able to like do this thing.

Hitters will say it's photoshopped, but it's not.

Wait, remember when people used to say that all the time?

The thing that scares me though. Also, there might be some photoshop.
No, I'm definitely going to like photoshopped but it's not wait remember when people used to say that all the time the thing that scares me also there might be some photoshop no i'm definitely gonna like photoshop my face um the thing that scares me though is like when you go on jimmy found you have to have a story that like we can't focus on one story literally two seconds and i'll be like what is our story i'm gonna start a sidetrack you're gonna be like hannah i'm gonna say. There's a pre-interview.
They call you and they like vet your stories and tell you which one they think is going

to be best.

But like we have to think of a story.

We have to make up a story.

Every once in a while, like someone will comment something mean on my Instagram and they'll

absolutely eat.

But like I'll be like, fuck.

Every now and then you're like, that's kind of funny.

I'll like screenshot it and send it to my brother.

Like they nailed me with that one.

But someone wrote something mean on my Instagram and And they're like, I forget how this girl even started it. She was something like, she went to an obscure college.
She went to an obscure college and it closed. So she's an idiot or something like that.
Where's the lie? Where's the lie? But also, I feel like if we need a fallback me and jimmy fallon went to the same college yes so it's like we'll use that is now that it got canceled right and like that's funny that's inherently hilarious no it's gonna be great we're gonna be fine i'm definitely gonna take a beta blocker and you you don't know what you're gonna wear yet are you kind of no i don't because that's the. Because that's the one where you need to have like a look.
I need to have a look. Like L-E-W-K.
The only thing I know for my look for Jimmy Fallon, and I don't know why, but it's just like something I'm feeling. Yeah.
I want my decolletage out. Yeah.
I think I might want to do something like cold shoulder, off the shoulder. Love, love.
Something with like maybe like something. It's very like cocktail evening.
I want to go like 2016 vibes oh I'm always trying to go back to 2016 yeah you are you go is it 2016 right now no like the fall of 2015 was that when you first graduated college and you were like going out in New York City for the first time yeah yeah that's when you were like different the world is my oyster i was like a husband i'll find one in two seconds spoiler alert i did it uh we'd love to end the show the callback that's called a bookend um we love you guys so much thank you for giggling and if you haven't pre-edited a book do it because it's going to arrive in two weeks. It's happening.
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