Giggling about gray hair, gripes, and god

Hannah, I know you're picky with your headphones, so you're actually going to love these. They're called Noom 1, N-W-M-1 is how it's spelled.
Oh, those are those ones from Japan. Wait, they actually look so cool.
They're like futuristic looking, like it's like a donut around your ear. Like they're like open back headphones and there's no sound leakage.
I've heard of these. And they use this technology called PSZ.
It's personalized sound zone, which lets you enjoy your music without anyone disrupting you, which is perfect for me on a plane. Also, you don't disturb anyone around you because I don't want anyone knowing what I'm listening to or what like murder podcast I'm trying to get to the bottom of, solve a mystery.
Yeah, it creates like a bubble of sound around your ear which is really cool and it's lightweight i hate when it's heavy and it's like it just feels like it's weighing on my little ears and the battery lasts up to 20 hours on a single charge so there's like not a lot of admin you can wear them anywhere they're perfect from working from home hanging out with your family or if a plane, just vibing. And guess what? They're available right now on Amazon and there's even a limited time discount happening.
Check out Noom One at our Amazon store today and grab yours with the 20% discount campaign. Trying is believing.
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Thank you. at Nordstrom stores or in-store at Nordstrom and Nordstrom Rack.
Explore more at Nordstrom in stores or online at Nordstrom.com or download the Nordstrom app. What's up, gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi.
Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.
I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my greasy Italian gigglers.
We're allowed to say that because we're Italian. We're allowed to say that because we're Italian.
But Craig's not allowed to say that and he's the person who said it to me. Oh.
So. Oh.
So. His career's over.
Yep. See ya Craig.
Also we're gonna drop some news. Like I know you guys we keep dropping stuff we got the netflix special we dropped pages amazon show in bed with page we dropped the tour this is we have more to drop this is like our real these were our easter eggs that when we were dropping easter eggs they had nothing to do with what we were actually dropping because we don't know how to do what an Easter egg is.
So it made no sense. So we do have to say we're about to drop.
No, we're about to drop. You guys aren't ready.
It's not. You're not ready for the smoke.
You're not gonna be able to handle this heat. We don't.
We ourselves aren't fully grasping it. Let's just say the admin was so beyond what we could even wrap our head around you guys you're i'm speechless i mean we yeah so we're very excited we're so very excited hannah i miss you so freaking much i literally okay at our hotel so i have so many things to say.
First of all, the whole island lost water.

That's a side note.

We'll literally dive into it. The whole island of Italy?

The whole island of Capri lost water.

Oh, Capri.

Everything.

All of it.

Our hotel was fine.

Good thing I don't drink water.

So.

You're like, does anyone have a Diet Coke?

I was like, I'm literally three Coca-Colas deep and it's not even 11 a.m i'm totally fine i've been peeing brown so i'm good people are like stopping me in the street like what are you doing for water i'm like i this is an admin that i legitimately did not sign up for ask my mom i don't know like do you have to change hotels i don't know ask my, my God. That was like when the lights went out in one of our hotels and we're like, well, we've been sleeping.
So I'll go right back to sleep. Don't test me.
Don't. Yeah, I can.
If there's a bed, I'm fine. But anyway, so everything that I do in Italy, I think, oh, my God, Hannah would freaking love this And so like part, I didn't realize that our hotel has like a villa that you can rent out like separate from the hotel, but obviously like you can use all the hotel amenities.
So I went up to the, it's probably so expensive, but I went up to the front desk and I was like, hey guys, like I really want to see the villa just to like see inside of it. took me into it it's gorgeous but like if you had a big family or like you had like kids or something it would just be so perfect and I was walking out and I turned to my mom and I was like if I get this villa I want Hannah and Des to come next year and she was like they don't want to come on your family vacation but all i could think of was like how fucking funny would it be if we were in a villa and then i found a tennis court in positano in positano yeah so i'm just scouting for when we move here wait i love you so much also i'm like sending you memes like you're living normal life right now and then i'm like oh yeah she's on the beach glowing in her like flowery ass dresses making a lot of high quality tiktoks with craig he's okay i don't want to compliment a man but i don't want to say that i'm like really identifying with gen z but like it's so much easier to post on tiktok recently than Instagram.
Like, TikTok is just like, who cares? Whatever. Who cares?

See ya. but like it's so much easier to post on tiktok recently than instagram like tiktok is just like who cares whatever who cares see ya it's free well instagram it's so permanent and so like that's on your grid yeah like i can't do my grid anymore i'm just like you didn't do that to yourself though you put so much great pressure on yourself i'm under a lot of grid pressure and so then i can't i can't do it then i like sometimes i get in moods where i'm just like i can't do anything but i like that you'll go like days without posting and then you'll post like every day for four days and then you'll go four months no posting and i think it keeps everyone on their toes especially me because i'm ready to comment i'm ready for the comment it's just like where is? What is she doing? Highlight, though, today.

So we're on a boat.

We're doing boat stuff.

We're doing boat things.

We pull up to this restaurant.

There's a bunch of yachts.

My dad says, wow, isn't that a nice yacht?

I'm like, wow, I wonder who's on that yacht.

Looks like it would be so fun.

So fun.

Look at all those pool toys.

We get up to the restaurant.

We're walking.

All of a sudden, I'm about to sit down. I turn to my right and I go, oh, pardon? I see Derek Jeter's face staring right at me.
No, say what his real name is. Hannah Burner's ex-boyfriend.
I saw your fucking ex. Hannah, we are so sick.
Do you think he was there on purpose because he knew that you would see him and tell me? We are so sick in the head because legitimately I went to the other side of the table so that I could sit and face him. I was like, I'm not putting my back to my friend's ex.
I need to watch. I need to watch every move he makes.
Make make sure he's not talking about her so i'm literally staring at him like the whole lunch and i i did would never go up to him because i feel like he's like not the type of like celeb that you ever go up to first of all respect him yeah i respect him way too much to ever put my personality in his orbit. Like, he is.
I would never do that to him. I'm like, you don't deserve that.
It is dark over here. Live in love and light on your yacht.
He's going to take a shower if you go up to him. I'm like, you don't want any of this.
His wife, 12 years old. Her name's Hannah.
She looks like she's 12. She's so gorgeous.
They've also had multiple children, the two of them. It's not that I know.
I just happen to know all this information. I didn't like stalk them or anything.
The thing about Derek Jeter, too, is I was thinking about it. Like at this point, it's not even sexual with him.
It's more like I like quoted him for like my elementary school graduation speech like he's just him he's my Roger Federer like him and Roger Federer and also like you're a family of Yankee fans so I love that you were like dad I know you like love the Yankees I need to watch him for Hannah right now but like were they not freaking out the whole place was freaking out every single person in there was freaking out. Everyone was American, I feel like, too.
Yeah. Like, there was a table of people definitely from Texas because I could just, like, hear their accents.
And I was like, they're a Texas family. And right when the dad, like, noticed, in such a Texas way, like, immediately, like, got up, turned around to, like, stare at him.
Like, I feel like we like we were being very like chill because we were the table right next to them.

Was Derek pretending like he didn't know the whole restaurant knew who he was?

No, he was being like cool.

Like there was a boat that pulled by and like they all screamed his name and he like waved and then like a couple kids went up to him

and he would like take pictures with kids.

But I feel like he gives off the vibe and I respect that. he gives off the vibe of like i don't fuck with fans really which if it was a woman i feel like we wouldn't be saying this here's me just being misogynistic again on the saying that it's cool that he's like i'm not really fucking with fans but if a girl did it you'd be like she's a monster yeah wait i just like caught myself.
Fuck you, Derek Cheater. Fuck you, Derek Cheater.
This is no longer

a show. really fucking with fans but if a girl did it you'd be like she's a monster yeah wait i just like caught myself fuck you dare cheater this is no longer a sports podcast no but i was so fucking like starstruck when i saw him and craig had the audacity to turn to me and say he's just a person too okay he was getting jelly he was getting jelly he's actually not just a person

he's actually not a saint he's actually like otherworldly he's actually he has blue eyes and he has and dark hair and dark hair he's our lord and savior he's and he's number two saved the island of manhattan i'm sure spread some diseases while he was at it but it was literally fine the

man's fun gift baskets okay he's an angel craig how many gift baskets have you sent yeah so anywho that was the highlight of my life and i remember i went to a yankee game and i wrote a sign and then a pink card was cut out in a pink heart shape and said nobody's sweeter than my man jeter and I still have that sign in my basement.

So he's not just a man to me.

Wait, you flirted with my ex yeah i did i did i mean i was 12 this whole time to tell this whole time you played dumb like you didn't give it a try when you knew how i felt about him wait speaking of flirting ex, that's actually not speaking of flirting with your ex, but speaking of flirting, two observations. One, being on vacation, I feel like you just see a lot of older men and younger women.
And I'm, you know, I don't live under a rock. I've seen it before.
I'm out and about. I'm in the streets.
Something about this particular island of italy the age difference is a bit extreme it's a bit are these people married or is it like people are getting flown out i can't really tell and i you know i'm doing the work yeah like observing yeah um i got one real wrong the one night i i genuinely thought that this woman was this man's daughter I was like there's absolutely no way and I will call the authorities if I'm proven wrong because I'm uncomfortable and then I was on Instagram have you been seeing all like the Bill Belichick stuff with him dating like the 23 year old yeah here's where I'm po'd about it I went into the comments of like one of the videos and i was like i wonder what people are saying about like this age gap and it's a lot of people against her being like wow what a gold digger wow she knows exactly what she's doing and in my head i'm like but she's a child okay and this and this man could have said literally anything and you can like manipulate and put a trance on someone of course 20 years younger than you i mean she's like 30 years younger than 40 years younger than him has no one ever had a daddy issue before no i'm like let's play some dads so she's 23 and she's also a mastermind manipulator to get all of his money. But yet this man who's won multiple Super Bowls isn't manipulating this girl to have sex with him.
Also, this girl being just being beautiful is not manipulation. OK, and we don't know.
Like you're literally born that way. Like we can't help it that we're stunning.

And look, I do have to say she's probably doing it for the story.

I think it's hilarious.

I think the stories he must have.

Also, he was pretty funny at the roast.

Do your thing.

Like it's don't be judgmental.

If anything, you're so right.

There is a power dynamic.

And Bill Belichick has the money.

He has the power. He's the upper hand.
Like i that's what it is he has the upper hand and i don't know why people are like oh she's like she's she's getting after it like she doesn't have the upper hand in anything she literally goes where he says well there's a whole thing about like like do you think he's dumb like he there's it's called men like want to pay for certain things and like why are other men who probably are living in their mom's basement getting mad when bill belichick pays for dinner for a girl like let's calm down right like no girl is putting a gun to a guy's head and being like free for everything i mean maybe i wish i could I wish I've done've done finger guns i've been like you're gonna freaking buy this right now boom boom but i do i wrote an article once um literally once about zaddies and it was about basically like under 26 your brain's not not fully formed. You're still figuring out your career.

You're not making money.

Be careful if you're with an older man just because like there's there's a reason older women are not falling for him sometimes.

Right.

So like, you know, like so he's it's easy to go with these younger girls who don't know any better.

I mean, the amount of trash that you'd go for in your early 20s because you don't know who you are.

You don't know what you deserve. You don't understand what's going on.
We're flailing. We're scared.
We're screaming, crying. Yeah, like it's not the girl's fault.
Yeah. And then write out a flow chart on how to steal your money.
Like we don't even know what our periods are. Are you kidding? We have high cortisol right now.
We're dealing with it. Also, like maybe he took her to capri like she's getting experience life experiences no literally i have another gripe oh yeah you're on it today let's fucking go i have another gripe i don't know if you guys have seen the discourse online um but have you come across that that limited two is coming back okay so people have been tagging

that up left and right is it verified or is someone like fucking with us i think it's verified

i think it's real because they invited me to their launch party okay see that's my first problem

why are you not the face of the magazine of the launch party put some respect where respect is due i think so many people tagged them in it that then they were like oh we should invite this girl here's my gripe i'm not asking to be the face of it i'm not asking to even be acknowledged you want a discount code one i want a discount code but i want to talk to the marketing pr team because is are they coming back for 12 year old girls or are they coming back because i'm gonna break it to you they don't give a shit 12 13 14 they don't care who you are i thought they were coming back for like 26 to like 34 year old women and they were gonna make capris and they were gonna make little sets a poncho some of us are like married have children i thought they were gonna give us give us dresses give us outfits little skorts oh i thought i thought we were gonna get a skort So I'm not mad if that's not the case. Well, you just gave them I'm not mad.

I'm not mad if that's not the case. Well, you just gave them I'm not mad.
I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed.
If they're coming back for tweens, it's not going to. I don't get it.
You should be the creative consultant of limited to. We could have redone me stepping into a locker.
I mean, oh, coming out. Yeah i mean the possibilities were endless and i don't i don't know if it's the time zone difference but i'm po'd over here i'm po'd i do have to say i'm very tired right now yes i've been traveling and all this shit but i also you know when you're like i should go to bed right now yeah and you.
And you're even falling asleep, but you're going to fight. You're going to fight it because you finally found something good on TV.
What is it? This is better than the Dance Cult documentary. Well, then I'm actually going to write it down.
Write it down. Oh, you're going to love this one.
It's on Hulu. It's called The Perfect W the perfect wife they basically already getting me going they're like this is gone girl but better and it's so well done the way this kept me on my toes wait it's it's documentary or it's real shit real you know i only mess with real stuff because i really want to feel hurt.
Alive. Exactly.
I want to feel something. Anything.
I want to feel something. So I go, fuck reality TV.
Give me the news. So at 2.30 a.m., I finally turned it off.
I don't even have the last episode yet, but it kept me up literally all night. And it was so good.
Everyone has to watch it. Give us a us a little i know i'm trying to send a two sentence blurb it's about like this beautiful girl who got married to this man and then she disappears out of nowhere i mean if we had a nickel and the possibilities are endless with what happened and you do find out what happened and um the characters it's it's i mean they're not characters they're real people because it's time here is this recent like this is fucking recent this is like and it was over like seven years up until like 2021 22 so this is for real okay um it's.
Also, I'm dropping this on you now cause I wanted to surprise you for the pod, but I think you might kind of know I, um, hung out my other best friend. No, I literally, here's the thing about time differences.
I think I'm dreaming when I wake up and I opened a text, I opened a text to just a picture you and Haley and she's and you're you know what this is what pissed me off about it because what's your gripe what's your gripe no my gripe is like you try to include me as much as you can and I'm so appreciative of it but I'm like this little bitch sending me a picture of her and Hailey being like oh she wants to come on the pod and I'm like you know what I know you two have a friendship behind my back I'm like dealing with it wow she looks so good in this picture so do you you literally look like no the lighting was lighting no Hannah you're in the Illuminati in this picture no okay the funniest part about me trying to get you involved is that i actually blacked out the whole time like you know when you don't know what's going on you're talking you're talking you're talking i finally i'm like bye we walk outside and grace goes oh my god did you hear what she asked and i was like i didn't hear the whole entire thing even talked i didn't talk to her i don't i wasn't there and she was like she asked if she could go on your podcast and i was like no she didn't and she's like yes she did i'm like what did i say and she was like you literally didn't respond and i was like what was i doing and she was like you were like i don't know what you were and i was like and that happened to me once with literally my biggest crush during college.

Want to come on our pod?

No.

Oh.

Okay.

Wait,

this is a sidebar and I will get back to the Haley stuff.

So I don't know if I ever told this story.

I was obsessed with this guy,

one of my biggest crushes and we're hanging out for a long time.

I like crushes where you,

you don't hook up.

Like I like the game, you know? because it was kind of like forbidden fruit like yeah yeah yeah we played the game for a long time the sexual tension yeah and then finally he was like we had mutual friends and he was like come visit and we're going to hang out and it was like a campfire college this is during college it was like a campfire or something and the whole day it's like we're flirting we're flirting and then he gets like so drunk at the campfire like he's rolling around he's like almost like falling in the fire his friends have to like put him to bed and i'm like what the fuck and then my friend's like why didn't you go on a walk with him and i was like what and she's like he literally looked at you and was like want to go on a walk and you just didn't respond and then he like got blackout and i was like he didn't ask me that and they were like he literally asked it to you and you didn't hear him and i was like did i like i'm like i literally came all the way here to hook up with this man and you're telling me that like i think i i have so many voices in my head that sometimes i just sorry i just pictured this man going to aa and being like hi this is because of hannah burner there's like eight other guys there and they're like, oh. I was going to say, if you've never put a guy in AA, you're not living life.
You're certainly not. You're not living life hard enough.
So anyway, it is that thing like you're so in your own head that you actually miss the moment that you're waiting for. Yeah.
Grace is going to have to send so many emails of like, hey, i know we said we don't do guests uh but check out our next episode with hayley b burr i mean we've told a thousand people we're like we don't do guests but we will make an exception the crazy yeah we don't do guests except when we do do that except if it's like so a girl we really really really like Lesb like really want to be a friend you want us to like us or if you're trevor wallace because he's a girl's girl what is the accent everyone always brings up trevor wallace they're like you have trevor you had trevor wallace on the pod we're like okay it was one time he actually tricked us we didn't know he literally just like i think he showed up we also didn't ask him one question so does it even count no we didn't learn one thing about him so it was fucked up because i'm starting to promote the netflix special so they were like you got to go to la and do a bunch of podcasts and i was like okay like put me on the flights i'm in la i'm doing podcasts we an email. Haley would love to do another interview.
Cause she's launching her new blush. I said, well, that's perfect.
Cause I'm in LA and they go, Oh, she's actually in New York. And I'm like, when? And they're like, tomorrow.
So I'm like the one time I'm not in New York city. So then I fucking take a red eye to go back to see Haley.

Obviously, I played it cool like I didn't take a red eye to see her.

Have you ever literally even thought to take a red eye to see me?

I would always take a red eye to see you.

I mean, not if it's like, not if I'm tired.

Or like if I have a headache.

Or like my phone's on like 10%.

If my phone is on less than 50%, I probably can't go. And like if I haven't talked to my mom in a couple days.
Like if I'm just feeling a little bloated. No, if you're a little bloated before the flight, it's a disaster.
You don't have to go. You literally can call in sick.
So, you know, when you're about to, it's like seeing a crush where you're like playing out how you should act when obviously you're not going to know what the vibes are but i was like trying to come up with first lines because we're all just waiting for it to come and i'm like what do we say like yeah hi darn like uh it's you again like what do we say like i'm such a creep like i felt so creepy so she walks in and like everyone was like playing a little too cool because it was just like people who worked for road and they're all like these cool girls they're so beautiful and nice yeah she walks in and everyone's just too chill that's such a real thing sometimes i feel like some people don't get like the respect they deserve like i feel like i was somewhere and there was a celebrity and i was like hello it's fucking and i can't even remember well there's like a middle ground you don't want to freak them out but then you also don't want to be so cool that you're disrespecting their art that's what it is I would never disrespect another woman's art so we're all waiting for her and then she walks in in this gorgeous full nude like blazer fit with her belly out and like as an accessory yes she basically dresses like she's not pregnant and then happens to have a belly accessory it's an accessory and we were doing the interview in the front and they were like hannah you should probably go the front she's gonna be here soon and i looked at the girl and i said i am not about to be the first person she sees walking in i'm not about to be like hey i'm like i'm gonna look like i was busy i was busy in the back doing something forgot that she was coming preparing yeah like i just happened to run into her so i'm like in the back and then she walks in and like no one's saying anything and finally she sees me and i'm just like i i don't know what i said something stupid and i go you look great and she we give like a little hug because we're like acting like we've known each other for years yeah which we have and she just looks at how are you doing because you know like i tried to be like i'm like how are you these people don't get you like i get you really yeah how are you fucking how and she goes i'm so fucking pregnant right now and i was like ah that was so cunty that was so cunty she looks so good pregnant it's like it's insane and then i mean look i will say it the problem with our friendship like everything's better in our friendship than me and you our friendship except that we have the same good side me and Haley you and Haley it'll never work long term there will never work you'll never at certain points long term it's not going to be even though there's so many things that are better about our friendship than me and you. And obviously, like, the clout is insane.
So wait. So question.
You give her your good side? 100%. I said, I will look like a...
But this is the thing. Her bad side is not the level of monster that my bad side is.
So I was like, do you want me to ruin the fucking video? Maybe feel like she's an understanding person maybe if you're not there yet we're not there i said yeah but i was very aware of it i was like what side does she want they're like oh she'll take the left side and i was like perfect perfect that was actually the side i wanted perfect i was like cancel the interview cancel so we finally get to the interview and at one point like i guess my hair was crazy because i don't brush it and she just stops and she starts classic like moving my hair for me and then like we almost made out and then like she said something about me being beautiful and she liked my hair color and like then it got

the room got shaky the room got blurry do you know do you know when she's due she's i mean what

if she names her hannah i think she will like based on the vibe she was giving me i almost

i don't know it was like a little it was giving like they don't love you like i love you like everyone else it was just like you know when she makes me feel like I'm the only person in the room where was this interview where did this was in on Green Street in Soho and it was like in her pop-up and she said she liked my salmon dress like she was like again like it was like when I was like you could punch me in the fucking jaw and I would say thank you and then at one point I was like oh my god your belly's so cute and then I was like I should do the giggly squad joke that we were talking about and I was like you know I dress like I'm pregnant all the time but I'm just bloated and she like kind of laughed and then I was like look and I took my stomach and I put it against her stomach it gets it's a classic it's your pregnant bits are some of my favorite i have a photo of you literally with one of the best bloats ever i will never be able to get this photo out of my head you're glowing so much in this pregnancy people are jealous of that photo people were like okay someone's found happiness and a future people stay jealous of that photo of you it's it's so freaking good so it was it's honestly like so weird our friendship um i could talk about it all day and i feel like it was just in there no but i had that moment with her where i was like isn't it fucking crazy that the outfits you guys wore that day became the most viral thing of like the century and she was like nose crazy and then you realize like dressed up as it for halloween yeah that it was that it was the most viral shit ever and then you realize like she's literally so surreal like imagine seeing that and just being like am i a joke to everyone like am i a joke to you she's just she's literally a normal girl who happened to marry justin bieber yeah and that's why i think she's so relatable to people because like she just wants to like do her makeup cute have cute outfits like have good vibes like she really is just like that but she just yeah she's just a girl and i feel like she does hold him down in a way like she does have calm energy i think i'm like i think she sees me and she probably sees like justin bieber like that kind of like like wild creative star quality and that's probably why i mean how could you not she was like you're clearly a like creative like i don't want to say genius but with your interview questions about tampons like I've never seen something like this before so anyway we hung out and then I was there was like a party after I had to leave I did I did comedy spots last night how was it it was really hot in New York City yeah it was really hot it's too hot in New York City money is one of my favorite things to do. So if you're like me and you've had subscriptions that you absolutely forgot about or have paid twice for and didn't realize, then you need Rocket Money.
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I put it in my coffee. I even sometimes just put it right into my mouth because I think it tastes good.
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I think Life360 is one of the best inventions ever. It addresses that anxiety with your location sharing app that puts the real-time location of everyone you love right in the palm of your hand.
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to find your next pair of glasses sunglasses or contact lenses or to find the warby parker store nearest you head over to warbyparker.com that's warbyparker.com also you've been gone for seven weeks when are you getting back no Hannah I actually feel like I don't

you're not coming back

no like Also, you've been gone for seven weeks. When are you getting back? No, Hannah, I actually feel like I don't.

You're not coming back.

No, like I don't feel anything.

Are you crying?

Are you crying?

Oh, do you feel like you've taken a hiatus?

I feel so disconnected from the world.

Yeah.

Like I literally haven't posted on Instagram solely because I haven't taken any photos.

Oh, so you're actually having a good time on vacation.

Like I'm literally just vibing.

Like I've been eating breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I I'm so stuffed.

I can't think like that's why.

Wait, because, yeah, you were making me nervous the last week. You were like, I finish my pasta everyone's yelling at me but i feel like you've settled in also if i look at someone i have to say it i'm gonna say it and people are gonna get mad if i look at your instagram and you're on vacation and you have 4 000 insta stories you want either a guy to pick you is that is that are you talking to anyone Is anyone talking? But I'm saying like you're trying to show someone something and no one's clicking through all that.
I could barely read a caption. No, more than 10 I can't click through.
I can't click. And I get it if you're like you're an influencer, you're like trying to show, inspire people.
that's but that's why i like tiktok because

i'm like oh i want to show the girls my outfit but like i can't pose for a photo right now and like i can't like i'm just like i can't take 10 photos and like the only people we all can tell that you just took one try at the video everyone can tell yeah i'm like it was reshooting yeah No reshoots.

Like we don't have the budget nor the time for a reshoot.

We. one can tell yeah i'm like it was reshooting yeah no reshoots like we don't have the budget nor the time for a reshoot we it's one and done and that's it and so that's what that's what's happening it'll be like 30 seconds into the video and i'm like she could have reached okay she oh okay she's still going she could have edited that part probably but i'm like no take This is because I'm tick took i feel like this is me love it or hate it either swipe as jennifer lopez would say this is me now this is me now this is me now so um side note gigglers have been asking me and i think they're asking me to ask you what are the gigglers wearing this summer oh my god it's such a freaking loaded question a lot of drop waist things yeah drop waist dresses i love drop waist dresses which i really am loving because for like a short torso girly like i really shouldn't be wearing anything high-waisted but it just feels like more comfortable when you're bloated but really like a drop waist and like a low rise but a drop waist when you're bloated is one fucking sniff away from pregnancy looking it's you have to find the right fabric one and like the right style for you like i've had this like one drop waist dress from i think it's lpa is the brand but it has like it like poofs out a little bit on the side not like a big poof but like gives you a little hip and i feel like that helps like the overall structure did you see the blue dress i wore this weekend i did that blue dress caused a lot of drama in the dms i could surmise that and what because what was the what was the overall take the overall take was so wild because normally i post something and either i'm like trolling the gigglers and they know it and they're like yeah like i did like page and i prove this out but they're all like we know um i actually like i know too it was that's like it was fun like i like when you wear like baggy pants and like a baggy t-shirt like it's very like it was hot out i didn't want my crotch to sweat but um this blue dress it was a combination of people being like you fucking nailed it this color on you is amazing this is so cool like Alice in Wonderland would give it cunt and then people were like burn it no but like everyone just had such opposite reactions I wanted to screenshot to show people like everyone is having different experiences I thought it was extremely editorial what was it for you can't say it was for this like judging show i was doing that had to do with like it was on it was on brand on brand it was on theme there was a theme so um it's funny when sometimes like the gigglers have opposite opinions and i'm like the gigglers are in a fight they're fighting each other and honestly all i love is a conversation it doesn't matter like you can, you can love it.
You can hate it. It's just a conversation.
I will say that I gaslit myself into gaslighting myself when I was like, oh, I hate all my outfits. Because every time I step out of the hotel room, I'm like waiting for my dad to be like, it's amazing.
It's stunning. It's never been.
And he's literally my own personal lady gaga he's like i've just never seen anything like this outfit and i'm like no like you get it like you so freaking get it our dads are so opposite i literally put a little blush on the other day my dad was like you look like No, I walked out last night. I had my hair in like a slick back bun and like gold earrings and like this white little dress.
And my dad literally started to tear up. He was like, I just can't even look at you.
You're so stunning. And my dad in front of everyone will go, where's the rest of your dress? Did you pay for the whole dress? I hope you got your money back for the rest of the dress that's where is it where is it listen to what this man did so i do like i'm strategic when it comes to like vacation shopping so the first like two days you mean you buy everything yes but also but i also have a plan like i i go through everything like the first day like i just do a walkthrough it's basically just a look-see just what's what are we offering what's going on what's the vibe and then there's one specific day where she's charging the card yeah she's taking the card out and she's double checking the balance when you leave a place do you say I'll be back if like the sales people were all over you do you all be back don't worry because i'm a people pleaser i'll be like i'm gonna buy this yeah i come back oh absolutely if i'm like i'm i am not buying this i'm like oh my god i have to run and get my mom i'm like i'm 31 years old and it's my name on the card i'm like i gotta see if my mom likes it um i will say me and one particular sales associate at prada have become besties and it's i don't know what's going on but he's bringing things from the basement okay we lock eyes i'm not even in the store he's locked eyes with me from the street he's like i got something i'm like i can't stop so a lot's happening my dad there was like this window display no store it was just a window display of this bathing suit and I was like I like need to find this bathing suit like wait what store is this in and but I wasn't like super serious about it but like if I walked by like I wanted that bathing suit my dad went to the front desk said there's a window display down the street my daughter wants the bathing suit in the window display what store has it now reminder these people speak barely any English so I have no idea how that conversation transpired I'm getting it second the story second hand he makes one of the hotel people like go and see what he's talking about to find they find where what the store that sells it and then my dad has them like tell him where the store is located he wakes me up and he's like i know the store we'll go after lunch and craig during all this asleep like i'm like this is everyone's like why aren't you engaged why aren't you engaged i'm like because my father tracked down an itsy bitsy teeny weeny bathing suit that i said i just happened to like and now it's in my possession i own it it is so funny because whenever i wear anything that isn't like a tennis, like workout outfit.
And if I wear a little bit of makeup, my dad's like, hey, can I talk to you for a second? Um, I think you look better when you're natural and you just like be yourself because I feel like you're trying to be something and just, just be, be, you're naturally beautiful. Just do that.
Just be, just put on a t-shirt. That's when you're're most beautiful.
Okay, well, I would like to argue that that's probably actually more endearing because when I had my wisdom teeth out, my dad wouldn't let me sit at the kitchen table because he said he couldn't look at me not looking gorgeous. Okay, so a lot of pressure has been put on my face.
I feel like whenever my dad said like you look beautiful.

I'm like okay.

Okay.

Okay.

It's enough.

Just.

But anyway.

But I will say like we.

We do like not a lot of activities.

But like we do a boat day.

And like we go to like.

We go like different places for lunch.

And we do like pool clubs.

My dad at the end of the trip.

If you ask him what his favorite day is. It's day i go shopping because he likes carrying my bags he likes watching me find something i love buy it and he likes when i hand him the bag have you told him that he's hurting your future relationships because of how adorable he is he he literally will say to craig don't worry i will don't worry i'll take care of her the rest of your life we don't really you can come but like i got like this is my she's mine you can be there you can be around but i will always carry her bags and so that's nice to know i do have to say on burner phone We had an episode about like Flirting and stuff and finding a guy And this one I want to give her Credit but it's anonymous but she Called in with like what she Likes to DM guys Because not a lot of girls will like slide into DMs yeah and I think you have To do it in a way that's like funny Because it's like it's funny reciting to a DM.
It's hilarious. Just say something like random and insane.
She said that she writes into guys DMs. She just goes, God sent me.
And I think it's hilarious because if he doesn't answer, it's like, OK, so you don't believe in God. So you are an atheist.
OK, good to know. So you just don't believe in the universe's purpose of everything? And then it's just funny, and I thought the gigglers should know.
If there's really a dude you want to slide in, you should do it now. I'd love to know what some of the gigglers do say.
What's their move? Because I think girls, I mean, obviously we would always text for our friends because you're the less nervous one, so you could think more clearly. So it's like, let's share our, like, what do the Gen Zs call it? When you have schmitz.
What's it called? Schmitz? No. Riz.
Riz. You were going to say schmutz? I was like was like shmegma what's that thing in your in your eye like when you wake up and there's some riz in your wait wait what is that i've heard that word before but i wait i feel like you're the only person i've heard it from before yeah like shmegmas i thought was the thing like in your eye when you wake up in the morning but apparently it's like stuff on penises which honestly i don't want to get into no i don't want the energy we want on our pod if you're running a business you know that every time you miss a call you're leaving the table.
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As you guys know, I partnered with DSW to curate the cutest spring shoe collection. Just fabulous.
It's just so freaking adorable. Okay, so I picked a bunch of flats, a bunch of fun heels and a bunch of sneakers I tried to do an equal amount because I know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know that there are a lot of pages also I mean did you see the gifting how freaking cute were all of those little boxes I was obsessed with them I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with like honestly with like sweatpants jeans capris I just feel like they've been my go-to for a little bit now and then I added a lot of really cute heels honestly I didn't even realize that I added a lot of white heels which I think is perfect because I feel like there's always girls getting married and having like all these different wedding things but I really tried to think like what do you need for spring so there's obviously a lot of like neutrals with heels and little kitten heels but I'm obsessed with them so take a look at dsw.com right now the collection is live and I'm sure I'll be reposting everyone wearing them ever wonder what those pimple patches are that you see all over Instagram and TikTok.
SZA's wearing them, Hailey Bieber's wearing them. Well, they're Starface.
And Starface just launched a new face wash and moisturizer. It's for breakout prone and sensitive skin, so literally perfect for me.
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Also, one more thing about fashion. Did you see what Crocs sent me? Yeah.
And I think it's that like i've had no communication with them like i

honestly feel like they hate me and like they obviously hear me speaking trash about them but like i feel like i should almost send them like an apology i do have to do a shout out they like went fucking hard with the gibbets with like like they had bows and no they freaking love a gibbet they love a jibbit and i do have to say one thing shout out to crocs

their heels with a certain vibe They had bows and pearls. No, they freaking love a gibbet.
They love a gibbet. And I do have to say one thing.

Shout out to Crocs.

Their heels, with a certain vibe, like with a jean, like with a certain vibe.

I've seen very cool girls in the Lower East Side pull it off.

Their heels are the most comfortable heels I've ever walked in.

I'm getting offended by the word heel.

Their chunky platform shoe.

Yeah, because Crocs can't make heels.

I'll show you it's a heel like it's a yeah but it's like but it's but it's it's a croc heel it's a creel i just i can't i can't support it i kind of think that they love that you don't love them like i think they love you more than they love me i'm Crocs. They're like, can you send this a page? No, I think we have like a mutual respect for each other.
It's like you, like I agree to disagree. That's your art.
This is my art. And like, I'm happy for you guys.
And like, you're happy for me, but we don't, it's like two girls in high school that like do not fuck with each other but they don't like actively pursue each other they're just like we don't vibe you don't have online beef with crocs but you also like don't put my name next to your name anywhere keep my name out of your mouth for sure but i'm not gonna like start a rumor about you you know start a rumor about myself yeah i had a gray eyebrow hair and i've plucked three gray hairs on this trip alone on your but on your head and i don't care what the people say i'm plucking them honestly now i'm starting to think that that was an old wives tale they said if you pluck them they like come and grow weirdly but i think gray hairs grow like main characters period because they have different textures they're always going to grow straight up they're really actually gray would be so cute you're gonna be the cutest old lady you'll never see it i'll i'll never you'll never see it are you kidding i come from a long line of women who literally dyed their hair to their deathbed like a long line of women who laid in hospice with hair dye you know i can't wait to be gray you know i know you can't i know you can't i want to be a witch i want to scare to scare people and be like, ah. I'll never do it.

You'll literally never see me with a gray hair.

No, I think it'll be chic.

It's fucked though.

I just think it's like.

A little gray bob.

Oh my God.

I think, here's the thing.

I do think there are certain type of people that can absolutely rock it. I think there are a lot of people that rock it that shouldn't oh i did not think you were going just attack an old lady sorry here's the thing also i feel like being in italy my like i'm really connecting to my roots and i'm just frank let me be a hundred percent benjamin franklin i just i have no tolerance some women have really beautiful textures of the gray hair and when you see that you're like that's the most beautiful hair i've ever seen have you ever seen some of gray i'm trying no i'm genuinely trying to say okay a perfect example meryl streep can rock a gray bob like nobody's business absolutely amazing but it leans toward a blonde on the blonder side now like my computer teacher in the second grade absolutely could not and imagine this poor computer teacher she just got a divorce she's fighting for her life she has to deal with these annoying kids and fucking little page the sore bow is like um i really think your hair looks stupid gray i literally tortured my my teachers all through middle school that's why you got an f in computers that's a crazy shoe to put with that outfit and you want me to trust you teaching me science i don't think so with those brows with those brows not me not now my mom told me about this and i am not coming with you to any type of room no with not with those brows oh my god um i have one other documentary off track yes i have a documentary that isn't really bringing us back this is about to bring us out of control even more wait before you wait before you say this speaking of tv did you see freaky friday too is i saw that lindsey is and she was like taking photos with jamie lee curtis and i it's one of my favorite movies of all time i would literally i downloaded the soundtrack would die for lindsey lohan if she said take this bullet for me i would i would say you've done so much for our economy yes it made you want to be in a rock band right you know what it did it made me want to wear a chunky boot i'll say that i definitely wanted i was like i could get into something like you wanted your hair to just kind of be in front of your eye a little bit yeah wait this if we were in a band which position would we play is that what they call them which role would we be I feel like you would 1000% be the lead singer oh my god thank you there's no other position you'd feel comfortable because I'm not musically I can fake a singing i can't fake having like playing an instrument i think i think i'm low-key like the random um like saxophone player cowbell cowbell she does like a random thing that like then she just gets this killer solo and like then you leave the show and you're like what about that killer solo from that random person who came out for only five minutes kind of like you at a bravo reunion you don't say much but when you do you really nailed it she's small but she's mighty okay but also if you played guitar people would be like very distracted by how long and beautiful your fingers are and honestly i think your fingers are too long that it might actually inhibit your performance on an electric guitar like they could get tangled i walked by a piano not too long ago a couple days and i turned back to my mom and i said you're a horrible mother for not making me play the piano like have you seen like look at my fingers this is mozart is somewhere rolling in his grave i think there is a side of you that could look at my fingers.
This is Mozart somewhere rolling in his grave.

I think there is a side of you that could have been the drummer because like you're in the back just like being badass and like you're not making eye contact with anyone.

I need to sit.

Not making eye contact.

You know the drummers just I'm like, do they even know what song everyone else is?

They're just in their own way.

Every now and then you like spin it around your little finger.

Yeah.

You don't like know if the drummer messes up and that's what I need.

Thank you. Everyone else is they're just in their own way Every now and then you like spin it around your Little finger yeah You don't like know if the drummer messes Up and that's what I need Yeah and then the drummer doesn't even know when the song's over They're just like doing their thing and then eventually they're like Oh okay I just need like one Solo you could probably take a Nap too because it's like in the back yeah I could also like put it on a track.
Actually, let's be honest.

You would be one of those DJs that just plays their Spotify.

Yeah.

I'm like, I don't think.

And we support women in the arts and men in the arts.

Who's more likely to become a DJ?

Me or you?

Honestly, probably you because I don't really even.

We already went over this.

I don't give a shit about like music. I don't want to stay up late ever.
I'm so happy I can't sing because if I could sing. No.
Oh, my God. No, I'm so happy you can't sing.
I'm so happy for the world. The world has been saved by my lack of.
I would literally. Oh, my God.
I'd be like Ariana, though. Ariana Grande, I feel like.
But like not successful. She's that friend who would be like.
You would have a really intense Jojo Siwa phase with your dance moves. And I'd have to.
I'd have to come over and be like. You'd to get out of bed you have to stop going on good morning america and freaking singing your little heart out wait honestly like i still have a little empathy for jojo siwa just let her dance you know wait my last gripe my my final gripe no you can have unlimited gripes there's no limit to your gripes on this pod the internet started to gaslight me yet again and they said love island uk it's trash this year it's horrible now i'm keeping up with love island uk i don't think that it's trash i don't think that.
I think it's slow to start, but some seasons are. But I'm very into it.
They're like, USA is where it's fucking at. Yeah.
That's what people are saying. I literally told some Gen Z girls yesterday.
I was like, I heard US is the best. And they were like, we don't watch US.
And I'm like, no, I saw tweets saying US is good this year. Take your tweets and put them in the toilet because...
Are they bots? So I start the first episode. First of all, Ariana looks absolutely stunning.
I mean, the girl, she looks phenomenal. It makes me mad she hasn't worn extensions more.
Like, she looks so good with extensions. Every outfit, she just looks so freaking cute.
like she you look forward to her coming on the episode yeah but as a love island connoisseur of the for the past six to seven years i would say i've seen every episode i've seen every giving your resume no i am qualified to be notating this usa is is not good at Love Island because American women were nuts. We're freaking nuts.
First of all, I will say that the series has gotten better because they took the Love Island narrator from UK and they brought him over to the USA. He's quippy.
He's funny. So he's British.
He's British. So it's like 15% UK.
It's 15% UK. They even have a British guy.
Now, granted, I've only seen the first episode, but it was an hour and a half. On UK, when they first get coupled up with someone and they've known someone for a day, even two days, even three days, they're normal about it.
And they're like, I've only known this person for a day so i'm not gonna get so invested also the brits they're not emotional the way americans are emotional cold so i feel comfortable at the pace that they go because it's a normal pace america the girls are crying after 24 hours they're scheming they're plotting after i'm like this is love island you're getting to know someone it's so dramatic and so heightened between the cast i can't i'm i can't i can't at least the brits there's like a little you know what it is what i've heard about like europe culture versus american culture not to overly generalize but americans are like we will be very emotional and show all of our emotions on our sleeve they say that americans smile a lot we like pretend to be happy when we're not we say hi a lot yeah brits are like they're not smiling they're not pretending to say hi no when they're if the chat's not good the chat's not good if they don't vibe they don't vibe and also yeah americans the chat could be shit and you're like that's the love of my life And that's that if that's not me, if they don't vibe, they don't vibe. And also, yeah, Americans, the chat could be shit.
And you're like, that's the love of my life. And that's that.
If that's not me, if I haven't done that hundreds of times. I mean, countless.
I'm an American girl to my fucking core. When I met British Dave and he told me we had good chat, he was like, yeah, it's important that you have a good conversation with your partner.
I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Back it up here, Dave.
I've never heard of this before and he's like yeah good chat and i was like i just thought they had to be tall i just thought they were supposed to be tall i've cried more over guys i've literally hooked up with twice than like full-on three-year relationships i'm like get the fuck out of here so like i'm crazy too I identify with it I can't watch it

and it's just like this one girl she had two conversations with a guy two and then he had another conversation with another girl one conversation with another girl she's crying hysterically I just I can't bring myself to do it not to defend her but there is a thing that like when a camera is in your face you can just like you feel emotions 10 times stronger yes there's like i've i was i've cried before but like and i'm the i'd never cry page how many times have i cried not on tv wait hannah have i literally never cried have you ever cried around me not on tv literally never in the 400 knowledge, I don't cry. I'm the person that's like, I would never cry.
I feel like I'm offended that you've never cried in front of me. Oh, God.
Now you're like, okay, I need to make a bitch cry. Because I know for a fact I've cried like multiple times.
No, yeah, you've cried way more. You're so cute when you cry because then your big, your big like long fingernail comes up to your eye and you're like but no every boyfriend's like you're so fucking hot when you cry anyway that's crazy my boyfriends have never said that um oh yeah so i was defending them yeah because when a camera's on you you feel like your whole life flashed by and you feel like you're in like a documentary.
And suddenly you're like, this moment represents everything that's gone wrong in my life. And now it's on TV.
So like I do have empathy, but you're right. You don't want to watch people cry after 10 minutes.
But I wonder why it's like that in America and it's not like that in England. Like it's almost like in the uk version they they let them breathe for a minute like they let them almost like settle in like it just everything in america feels very fast very like we need drama are the girls fighting are the guys like is there a fight breaking out are you gonna make out with that like it all seems very performative where uk feels like oh we are watching a surveillance of them just like genuinely getting to know each other and interacting and it feels more authentic.
I think it's definitely a cultural difference, but I would love to see if they like switched production teams, like if it was American producers on the show in England and see if it affected it because there's a lot of factors into what they're showing. I'm really against American producers.
I mean, girl, don't tell me. I mean, they are some of the scariest people I've ever become.
So the final my final shout out of a dope documentary you guys have to watch. This is dark.
It's called Six Schizophrenic Brothers. Oh oh that poor mother no seriously and they were trying to blame the mom and the mom was like they were like she's parented them too tough and she's like don't fucking blame me i'm trying to keep it together they came out like those all six of them well this sir not telling you this irish catholic mom and they were in a very like um the dad was a high important like in the army or something like they were kind of they were friends with famous people they had a lot of clout they have 12 children no and the fucked up thing about schizophrenia is that you're not born with schizophrenia it's like like a gene that's in you.
And if you're traumatized a certain way, it can get triggered. So they kept calling it like when people got ill.
And the first guy, he was this like gorgeous, gorgeous guy. The oldest one.
He like marries this girl. She says, I don't want to have kids with you.
I'm you i'm out divorces him comes home and he starts

getting like very religious he starts getting very like grandiose thoughts he starts getting violent he starts losing his mind and then the second brother starts falling ill third brother completely normal fourth brother um this is gonna be intense he um murder suicides him and his girlfriend and no one he was fine like out of nowhere out of nowhere and where do these people live where do these people live this was california i believe and then you're like, okay, that must be enough. Fifth brother's okay.
Sixth brother starts losing his mind. Like, it's the most insane thing.
And then the scariest part is that there's two daughters at the end who don't get sick. And one of the daughters has a kid.
And they're interviewing two of the guys that are still alive that are in like a mental hospital. Yeah.
Like now. So years later.
And the son of the girl says, like, I know my uncles have schizophrenia and I know that I got triggered by stuff. And they said between 17 and 24 is when it gets triggered.
And the kid's like, I have so much anxiety that any day I'm going to wake up and lose my mind. And I just can't i turn 24 and it's just like wait that's like so sad it's so sad so they're using the family for like research for dna and all that stuff but anyway it's not for the a light fun afternoon it's not for the week what what is this on what max yeah streaming it's pretty shout out, I've been watching Hacks.
It's so good. I've got behinds and now I'm getting back up on it.
It's so fucking good. We love you guys so much.
Thanks for giggling with us and we'll talk to you later. Bye.
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