Giggling about Netflix special air date, hot takes, and custody

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Hannah, I know you're picky with your headphones, so you're actually going to love these.

They're called Noom 1, N-W-M-1 is how it's spelled.

Oh, those are those ones from Japan.

Wait, they actually look so cool.

They're futuristic looking, like it's like a donut around your ear. Like they're like open back headphones and there's no sound leakage.
I've heard of these. And they use this technology called PSZ.
It's personalized sound zone, which lets you enjoy your music without anyone disrupting you, which is perfect for me on a plane. plane also you don't disturb anyone around you because i don't want anyone knowing what i'm listening to or what like murder podcasts i'm trying to get to the bottom of solve a mystery yeah it creates like a bubble of sound around your ear which is really cool and it's lightweight i hate when it's heavy and it's like it just feels like it's weighing on my little ears.
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Trying is believing. Sup, gigglers.
Harriet, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit.
We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.
Are the gigglers gonna match match my freak that song is so stuck in my head it's so freaking catchy and i don't know what it's from i don't know but also i have to admit so is karma by jojo siwa it's still stuck in my head yeah if anyone has any advice on how to get karma by jojo siwa out of your head please dm me i thought you were gonna say if anyone has any advice for jojo siwa bitch put some crack cocaine in that because i'm like yeah it's so funny you bring up crack cocaine because i was gonna bring up crack cocaine so i saw this girl make a tiktok being like gen z's freaked out by jojo siwa but but millennials aren't because like we lived through charlie sheen and like that was a fun time for us and nobody was freaked out yeah we were just like charlie sheen's on drugs also jojo siwa like do you think she's ever done cocaine absolutely yeah so leave jojoimo alone. I don't even think she really gets drunk.
I think she like pretends. Someone was like, someone did a meme like, when you're a kid and you have some pennella vodka, and you're like, uh-oh, today's going to be crazy.
Wait, do you remember the first thing you ever got drunk off of and like where you were the first time you got drunk? Yeah, i was in like a upper west side like house party and had like two beers wait it's so funny to think about like that type that kind of party i was fully 17 in high school i didn't drink till i was yeah yeah i didn't i'm trying to think how old was i i think i was 16 the first time i got drunk and i was at this girl nikki's house which just sounds like a girl you would get i would never let my daughter go to nikki's house go to a girl named nikki's house and she was on my cheerleading team the hpv is rampant rampant and i got drunk off of something called hypnotic oh my god with a cat with a q yeah that's all like the rappers had it in the music videos back in the day you're a little video like i if i could have been a video vixen i was so scared of getting drunk i don't think i got fully drunk till college my brother famous my brother famously him and his friends once we had this cool like absolute bottle that had like brooklyn designs on it and my parents just like had it like you know this absolute art was so good yeah absolutely whatever the fuck it was my brother and his three friend two friends like drank it one night and they just like all passed out throwing up and they filled it up with water and they were like don't tell mom and i was like i won't tell mom like i was downstairs i don't know what the fuck they were doing yeah and my mom walks in she like smells and she goes did you drink the absolute vodka like moms i mean know everything no not only do they know everything but also like they're not idiots like anyone walking into room, like you can tell when people smell like alcohol

and then like she probably saw the bottle

and just put two and two together.

Like in high school, I thought my mom was so smart,

like figuring things out.

But really it was just like, oh, she has two eyes.

Also like, yeah, her brain is fully formed

and ours isn't.

We're like, how did she?

Yeah, like she's just not stupid.

How did she have that sense?

Spidey sense.

Real quick up top, I have to make a special announcement no pun intended and i wanted to tell the gig was first obviously my sketch oh my god i'm nervous my special is officially dropping july 9th oh my god and i feel like i just got a wave and I feel like that's going be like a lucky day july 9th sounds like a solid it does right yeah and you know at first it was gonna be september and then i guess like we started getting the editing process going and netflix was like you want to just fucking do summer and i was like yeah why not so july 9th we not? And it's going to be titled We Ride at Dawn. Which you went back and forth, but I think it's a great title.
I think it's perfect. I had a running list of like 4,000 special names on my phone.
Because when you're doing your hour, you're not thinking like, what's the title of this? Like you're just performing it and seeing what works and what's funniest. But I feel like we ride at dawn is like kind of a shout out to the gigglers because like we've all like rode so hard for each other and i wanted to just be this feeling of like we're officially riding at dawn july 9th we ride at dawn let's fucking go and i do feel like if Yeah, if Giggly squad's ever made you laugh or you feel connected to us in any way play the special play it all the way through tell your friends tell your your frenemies tell your exes tell your grandma put it on send it in an email to your office by accident like an all in an all employee email sorry that was supposed to go to my friend but you guys might like it too i just want to say something really superficial you've never looked better than in the special like you literally you just looked like i i was like oh my god who is she it was insane because i've never been more nervous about like but the pressure of choosing an outfit and getting my hair right and getting my spray tan right but like I do have to say special thanks to my spray tan artist thank you you nailed it and then the team like they did my makeup really natural I felt like myself on stage and that was my most important thing.
You looked like yourself.

You looked like a fancy version of yourself.

It's like, you know, your wedding day.

Oh, you wouldn't know.

But like if.

No, I actually was going to say that, but I didn't want it to be rude. But I was like, Hannah, I feel like didn't give a fuck what you look like on her wedding day.

And like, I feel like we didn't even talk about it.

Like, oh, my God. I tried so much harder on my special day than my wedding no like i know like i feel like we're treating your special like when i tell you oh my god i had zero nerves for my wedding and my special i was like this is the biggest day of my life which like part of it is cute and feminist and part of it is like are you okay like but i mean yeah i got my wedding dress at a strip mall in long island for 1700 and it was the first dress i tried on because i was like look i don't want to deal with this bullshit i look good in it bye good night and then i didn't want to look like i was like do my hair my makeup how i normally do it i don't want to fucking be weird and that was that i've changed my wedding aesthetic like seven times like i can't i'm actually really stressed wait can you tell me what it is right now right now i'm really into watching lebanese weddings on tiktok i don't know how I've gotten there.

Haley's Lebanese. Her wedding was so lit.
They were like throwing dollar bills at her and she was like belly dancing. No, it's there.
They look so good. I've never been to a Lebanese wedding and I don't know how.
I've been to Indian weddings. I've been to a lot of Persian weddings.
I've been to a lot of Jewish weddings all equally I went to like a legitimate crazy rich Asian wedding like it was one of the most insane weddings never been to a Lebanese wedding and loved the vibe but their weddings are so gorgeous I went to an Indian wedding and the bride like her flowers were so insane and I asked someone like oh my god like what florist did she go to like who did this and she had them all flown in from india as she should and you were like that was like that sounds fucking rich it's so funny you brought up flowers because i randomly had this question that i wrote down in our notes at what time in your life are you supposed to learn flowers like the names like you know how every mom is like oh that's a geranium and like oh that's a and oh i love the chrysanthemum when did you learn that did i miss the day in school does it just happen when you hit like 36 you suddenly know every like is it just a gardening thing and we haven't hit that level of peace in our life where we can garden? I think it's right now. Like we would be hitting it right now.
Because I only know peonies and hydrangeas. But like guns in my head, if you were like, pick the peony, I'm out.
You couldn't. I know a hydrangea.
No, that's a very, that's a niche, but a niche but very relatable situation because maybe on your wedding day is when you're supposed to learn which we all know i wasn't i wasn't what were your flowers for your book i wanted like garden vibe like i literally wanted to look like wild flowers oh yes i do remember that it actually looked so good when we took pictures with the girls because we all randomly were in those colors that was crazy people thought that the bridesmaid dresses i chose i mean clearly i did not choose sierra's dress so i technically didn't have bridesmaids that will literally never get old i was literally so traumatized by just like friend drama that I was like I'm not have bridesmaids. That will literally never get old to me.
I was literally so traumatized by just like friend drama that I was like, I'm not doing bridesmaids. And then naturally all the women in my life who I love like came together and was like, we're doing a bachelorette.
We're showing up and getting ready with you. We're having a text thread.
So I did it all. But I somehow like gaslit everyone to believe that like I didn't choose them.
They chose me. So there was like no drama.
So if anyone wasn't involved, I was like, oh, well, that's on you, bitch. That's like the time I had a surprise party and I told everyone it was a surprise party, but it wasn't.
I just didn't want to invite certain people. And I was like, sorry, I didn't plan.
When did this happen? A couple of was i there no you weren't you were invited though you wait no was it at the italian restaurant yeah perry planned it for me planned it in quotations i totally remember that yeah and you wanted to jewel but we had to go to the bathroom because you told him you didn't jewel anymore so we had to jewel in the bathroom and it was that was like the only thing you cared about that night. It was like, let's go to the bathroom.
And I was like, this is a restaurant. So true.
So true. You were like, I don't know if this is the act for you.
Speaking of, Craig gets to Italy tomorrow. And I'm so excited.
I've been here for a couple days now and let me just say you're so right traveling is like hard no people don't talk about like you don't just land somewhere and then become like a new version of yourself you're still the same stressed out person but now dealing with like a foreign country logistics yeah and it's like oh no but like be the most relaxed you've ever been and it's like I don't know what time it is I'm I'm having a really tough time with the jet lag this trip I

don't know what it is but I can't sleep at night I like feel like this is blasphemy to say but I

haven't been eating that much because like I feel like my body clock is off so like when I'm not

hungry when I'm supposed to be eating and then like in the middle of the night I'm like

Thank you. because like i feel like my body clock is off so like when i'm not hungry when i'm supposed to be eating and then like in the middle of the night i'm like i should have like wrapped that fucking well this is the problem with these zero summers people don't talk about the trauma of like pull an all-nighter basically and then like try to function and then have the pressure of being like am i I having fun? Am I having fun? This is so expensive.

Am I having fun?

Is this worth the money?

Am I having fun?

And you're, you're with your family and like, obviously you have a very close family, but like some people that's their nightmare to have like their family in small quarters.

I feel bad.

Yeah.

That like, that's one thing that like doesn't ever stress me out.

Like being with my family, like multiple days in a row. Like don't like think of that but i've been getting yelled at a lot by who scary i'll beat his ass no just like the the people of italy literally the people that live here um because when you go when you eat at a restaurant in italy Like i'm not kidding if you don't eat everything yeah that's they're offended so like there have been a few times where and i love the food but i literally just can't i can't eat as much as i used to be able to like even a couple months ago once i went on those vitamins that like fixed my hormones i gen like a couple pounds no but no but but i think like because i lost some weight when i went on them like my i can't eat as much as i did you know that is actually the worst feeling when like your eyes are like i'm about to beat up this meal and then your stomach's like you're done yeah i have like three bites and i'm like okay and because like my time clock is off i'm just like not hungry when it's dinner time do you ask to take it to go no because i think that's actually more insulting in yeah insulting in your i know like you're not supposed to do it in france so like haven't asked in Italy and I like haven't been finishing like my plates and the waiters have been coming over after and been being like the chef wants to know if something's wrong here it's happened like three times and my dad has to chime in and goes no no no nothing's wrong it's amazing she eats like a bird I was gonna say she's like we can't wait but i do not to like we can't bring her anywhere to call out your dad but like my dad's job is to eat everyone's leftover food at the end of the meal like he's a trash can like can your brother not do it like can someone step up okay so literally no one in my family is stepping up for me i'm like i need like an like an ally.
You guys are supposed to be my blood. And it's just like I'm feeling really betrayed right now.
And everyone should just stab Caesar. And that's how I'm feeling.
I'm like, you guys are leaving me for dead. And that's why I'm really excited for Craig to get here.
Because I realized last summer I didn't have this problem. He's been waiting all year to eat bread in Europe.

He's ready to fucking go.

Yeah.

He's always picking up my leftovers. And so I'm hoping that he comes with an appetite because I'm sick of getting yelled at.

And this is one place I'm not combative page standing up for myself.

I completely cower.

Like if a waiter is coming over who like can't speak English, and is yelling at me i'm on their side i'm like i should leave like are you picking up any italian words fungool um no but it's so funny because like my dad is just like so delusional and like i don't know if he knows like what we do or like what like anything that's going on like he knows that i'm really busy and he knows that i get anxious but like that's like about it he thinks you're a drug dealer i think no like he just thinks i like play pretend and i'm just like taking pictures. Like he just thinks I'm like girly.

And so he said to me the other day, he was like, you know, like in your spare time, you should really learn Italian.

And I look at him and I go, yeah, in my spare extra minutes, let me just pick up another language.

I go, do you know how fucking hard it is to just learn another language?

And you think in my what? In what spare time do i have to pick up a language like i will choke on my own saliva when i try to speak i'm not learning a new language and then i have des there making me look bad like the other day yeah when anyone starts speaking mandarin he pipes up and then they they don't just say like oh i speak mandarin i speak mandarin they have a full like 30 minute conversation i just stand there and i know some words now because he's done it because what else are you supposed to do and i know when they're like he's like referencing me and i'm like okay so they're talking shit yeah and then if you do try and say something in italian like obviously like when you walk in somewhere you say like buonasera that's like good morning and you say like you do greetings but sometimes i feel like when you walk in somewhere, you say like, Buonasera. That's like good morning.
And you say like you do greetings. But sometimes I feel like when you greet them in Italian and then they talk English back to you, I immediately get humbled.
I'm like, OK, thank you. Sorry.
I but I'm like, oh, is it offensive if I don't go in trying to like speak the language? And I'm just like, hi. See, I was obsessed with when I was in Franceance going um how do you say hello oh it's bonjour it's like what'd you say bonjour well i already fucking failed no i walk in i say bonjour so i because i can copy like that's what that's how the french they go bonjour so i go bonjour yeah they don't like finish yeah like i basically bonjour and then they would speak back in french to me and at first i'd be really happy and then i'd feel like a liar i feel like i lied to them and then i'd have to be like i'm sorry i'm fucking stupid um but i have fun with that stuff are the men really good looking okay literally i was thinking i was like oh my god never get hit on i'm like i never get hit on anymore because like i'm just like everybody knows i have a boyfriend like i'm always with him like no one's like in my dms no one's like trying to hit on me in the streets you know and i'm like i wonder if i'll get hit on in italy like That would be really good.
I need it. I need someone to hit on me in the streets you know and I'm like I wonder if I'll get hit on in Italy like that would be really good I need it I need someone to hit on me in Italy so last night my parents my parents go to bed and my brother wanted to like go and watch one of the soccer games so I'm like sitting there having a drink with my brother and I'm thinking I'm like oh people probably think this is my boyfriend I'm definitely not gonna get hit on like in this moment so then like 30 minutes later I'm like okay Gary like I have to go back to the room like I'm so tired so I'm walking back to my hotel and it's literally like where we are to where the hotel is is like 20 feet like it's not I'm not like walking far and I hear this man like coming up behind me like I can sense two men coming up behind me but not in like a scary one but not it wasn't in like yeah it wasn't in like the initial feeling I could just feel like challengers it felt like challengers and I just heard someone say like hey but it was they had it wasn't an Italian accent and then later I found out that theyzilian but this guy was just like hey i just wanted to let you know you're really beautiful and i was like thank you so much and he was like who are you here with and i was like my family and my boyfriend and he was like oh like that's so like sad to hear if you ever want to come to brazil let me know and i was like oh thank almost got trafficked.
No. Then I went back to tell my family, like a bitch still has it.
And my brother was like, my brother was like, sounds like they wanted to abduct you, but you literally got to the hotel. But you literally just took it as a compliment and said thank you and walked away.
Yeah. So thank you so much.
I do feel like me and you are different types of beauty. And when I say that, I mean, I feel like when someone calls you beautiful, you're like, thank you.
Yeah. But I feel like when someone calls me beautiful, I think it's creepy and weird.
Why? Because I'm not giving off that energy. But you have a beautiful face.
So like, OK, you might not give off energy of like, tell me I'm beautiful. See, I feel like I give off energy like you better fucking compliment me yeah so when they do where you don't give so when a guy says if a guy gets to the point where he tells me I think you're beautiful I'm like ew like I literally been like farting this whole walk and you are saying I'm like that is disgusting on you yeah so it's so funny when you said beautiful I got like cringy but I'm wondering what a guy can call me that I won't be weirded out.
Yeah. I think you're, I think that's something, that's something internal.
That's some internal shit that I have to work on. That's something internal.
Yeah. I just never like being sexualized unless if it's like a girlfriend who's like, your ass looks good and then hits your butt.
i'm like thanks do you have a tough time taking

compliments in general i know i love a compliment but i don't oh okay speaking of i love a compliment maybe just not on my physical appearance from men okay those are the only ones i I think Life360 is one of the best inventions ever.

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Everyone knows I have an emotional support water bottle. I even bring it out on stage when we're doing Giggly Squad Live, but if I'm going to be drinking that much water, why don't I amp it up a little with Liquid IV? Hannah's got me into putting things in my water bottle.
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Start shopping at thrivemarket.com slash podcast for 30 off your first order and a free gift talk about people asking you stuff what a good transition this is going to be a little controversial but i feel like at giggly squad that's what we do we have to speak out about all the nuances of life um you know everyone's like stop asking me like when am I gonna have a baby when am I gonna have a baby like a lot of people talk about that in the media yeah not one person has asked me I had this like moment I was just walking and I was like thinking about like feminism and like women being outside i was thinking about like people asking you to move and stuff and i was like yeah and then people asking women to have wait a second wait hannah that's one of the funniest things i've ever heard like women literally be like stop asking married women when they're gonna have kids and i'm like yeah but no one's asked me and then you have to go another layer and ask yourself why why so i'm out here trying and then i go do people think i'm not capable of motherhood and then it got dark then i was like am i putting out an energy that people are just

like don't have please don't have kids this is why they say women are complicated because

we get something and then we're like i'm like call me pretty but actually like i prefer a guy

to call me pretty than beautiful i beautiful okay i'm gonna be honest beautiful is like a little

bit cringy but he's european i per yeah but he's european so they honest. Beautiful is like a little bit cringy.
But he's European.

I.

Yeah.

But he's European.

So they're different.

I prefer like a gorgeous.

Yes.

Or like stunning.

Yes.

Like breathtaking.

I think if an American guy calls you beautiful.

And like call the police.

Yeah.

Like.

Only like my mom and dad.

I feel like say like beautiful.

Yes.

Like my nan would be like.

You look beautiful today.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

Like it's a very.

I think it's a very, I don't want it from a man. Wait, speaking of beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, stunning.
So Love Island UK started. Obviously I downloaded my VPN.
I'm like watching live real time. All, have you seen any of the discourse on tiktok no okay so obviously all of the contestants have always been early 20s like 22 to 26 like there's rarely anyone oh is this about the fillers oh my god so they're doing this whole thing on like why why do the girls look so much old like all the girls are very pretty like all very gorgeous but they do they do not look but they look like stepmom pretty no way at all yes they look like oh my god she has two kids and she bounced the fuck back like she got a mommy makeover she's She's hot as shit.
So good. And so they were doing all these tick tocks and like all these plastic surgeons were saying like if you get bad, obviously if you get bad plastic surgery, like it can make you look older.
But then I follow this one British girl and she was like, here's what people in America don't understand. If you're if you're getting plastic surgery in the U.S., there are certain standards.
Like, your injections have to be done by a doctor or a nurse. Yeah, someone who's, like, gone to school for this.
In the U.K., I could literally sign up and get certified in two days, and then I could inject you with Botox. And so it's so much cheaper.

So girls are going to these like they're not even med spas.

They're basically going to like your hairstylist could fucking do it. And it's paying like $40 to get fillers and they're just bad.
And so that's why they look so old. And it actually makes me feel so bad for them because I feel like that generation was so like, like our generation, obviously, like when you turn 30, everyone thinks like you're dead, you've died if you like don't aren't married with children.
And so I feel like the younger generation heard that so much of like, you can't age, you can't age. So they started doing things so much earlier, which just made them look so much of like you can't age you can't age so they started doing things so much earlier which just made them look so much and it's older like the fact that I look 10 times younger than all of them isn't insane because I'm like a full 10 years yeah and I do think at some point if people can tell that you have filler it immediately becomes real housewife-esque because like filler represents that age group kind of thing and it's funny because I saw that and I remember like I've definitely I've googled before like okay if I did want to get Botox or if I did want some filler like yeah I would love to go into one of these places I'm because like I don't I don't look at my face that much but I'm like I wonder what a professional would say but then like you're right like what would they tweet and I was looking at all this stuff and like first of all I hate this is fucked up but I hate when the practitioner looks crazy themselves and I've seen it a lot and I'm like why would I let you touch my face when like you went too hard I've had so many girls be like oh my god my friend Jessicaessica she can do she can do your botox and i'm like jessica looks so like i want you to look but then it's like then there's some people where like they're just naturally gorgeous and i'm like are they good at their job are they just naturally gorgeous and have like a little lip filler and and then i was looking at some of the before and afters and i have to say so when people get like filler in their under eyes or like filler in their cheeks I'll look at the two before and after and sometimes I'm like is it prettier though like sometimes yeah is it better it's not it's like yeah so your face is fuller but like who says that's better and sometimes I feel like and I'm all for now like if you want to do stuff I'm afraid to do stuff to my face because it's like I like the devil that I know you know like I can live with whatever imperfection of my jaw or whatever but if you were to do something else that I guess it goes away but like I don't know that kind of ugly right right and no i get that there's this thing going viral about like have you seen um eyebrow blindness they're calling it yeah which is so true where with your own face you get blindness and filler blindness is a thing too like lip filler blindness and if for people don't know what it means it basically means like you stop being able to see how it really looks.
And that's why you'll see a girl with like insane eyebrows. But like she's just been filling it in every year for like six years.
And eventually it's gotten darker and darker. And now she's like a blonde with like caterpillars.
And then she'll someone will finally like sit her down. And that's a real friend.
A real friend. I am really happy that I never did like the the lamination I definitely had a few makeup looks Where like my eyebrows were too Straight up But I could never I never could bring myself to do like the actual lamination Because I was like I feel like this looks crazy town But It's funny too because on TikTok I've been seeing things where like if you ask your guy friends like if you show a picture of a girl to your guy friends and you're like do you think she's pretty and they're like and not really but like if you show that same picture of the same girl to your girlfriends like they're gonna think she's gorgeous that like we see a totally different kind of pretty like same with makeup like such a good point guys like are attracted to a different kind of makeup but we do ours like for girls a guy will never be like wait her blush looks so good yeah they'll never be like oh my god that's a siren cat eye and she fucking nailed it like and if a guy does like he's gay so make.
Don't date him. If he wants your lip color or, like, what you used on your lips.
It's so funny you said that because I was talking with Des. Oh, my God.
Imagine. Wait.
Imagine if Des was like, oh, my God. Great lip combo.
What is it? Oh, my God. Divorce.
Divorce. Divorce.
Divorce. He actually said something interesting.
And obviously, Des has a type of, like, who he's attracted to yeah what is does this type like i've never seen anyone does has dated he's never dated anyone oh for me obviously um but he basically was like sometimes thigh gap got brought up we were talking about thigh gaps and he goes thigh gaps are for girls no guy's ever been like like i guess like a guy will like maybe a certain like body type but no guy's ever been like where's the thigh gap i went through a phase in college where all i could think about for two months was my thigh gap and it was a really dark no and it's invented by girls like no guys like let me see the little like sun going through right below your pussy it's invented by girls and you want to know what snapped me the fuck out of it i'll never forget this i was in college i was a freshman in college maybe i was a sophomore in college and for whatever reason i was i had just started like birth control i had gained some weight and I like got really obsessed with my thigh gap and I remember it was Halloween I'm like out with my boyfriend and there's a mirror in like the dorm hallways or something and I'm standing in front of it waiting for him and I'm like leaning down looking at like to see if I have a thigh gap and these two girls like walk by me and like look at me and like give me like a weird look like what is she doing? And in that moment I was like, what the fuck am I doing? Like who gives a flying fuck? Like this looks weirder than not having a thigh gap. Thigh gaps are for girls.
And also some people's like hips are just like a little more wide set so like they just have more space but just like match yeah but it's literally how your hips are it has nothing to do with like your thighs being 100 also like when i would play tennis my thighs would um rub against each other and actually start a fire so like that was annoying but it also like I had they called me quadzilla I had the strongest thighs and I was the fastest the fastest girl in the eighth grade before Paige um no I was the fastest girl in the fourth grade I do have to say I'm on my tic-tac algorithm right now I'm obsessed oh my god I fucking forgot his name but i think there may be a couple of them i'm obsessed with like grumpy gay guys judging fashion at events have you seen this it'll just be like a gay guy's face in the corner and it'll be like an event and he's going through like the getty images and he'll just be like hey love never do that again obsessed with that she never can do do so much because like i'm at the point where i'll see a fit and i'm like i don't know if he's gonna and he'll be like this is the worst thing i've ever seen and i'm like what or and then he'll be like this slay so hard and i'm like oh but i love seeing these gay guys just rip apart you know what's funny is like if you want to say something to you like there have been times where i'm like oh my god i should say that to her because like she needs to hear it and then i'm like i can't say that like that's so fucking bitchy but i but like to like my gay guy friend i'm like but you could say it like like i just feel like gay men can say certain things and it not be taken as if a woman said it because at the end of the day they're still they're not and they're not like competing with you right and so like i feel like women take it more like oh he's just trying to help you out because like he sees it where like if a woman were to say it it's like she's jealous or like she's a fucking bitch so like it's so funny yeah hit the videos don't come across as mean to me at all they come off as like hilarious and he's just like stating facts like they're helping yeah he's just helping the community and gay guys have taste obviously and then i don't know what's been going on but like more gay guys have been recognizing me on the street like more gaglers like two. Like two gay guys recognized me yesterday, like one of them, and they're like younger too, so it's like a double cool factor.
Like, so my head is really big right now. This one, like hot 22-year-old gay guy just stopped and was like, wait, I'm fangirling right now.
But they'll say it, but they'll never get as excited as like a girl, but they'll be like, wait, I'm flangirling right now.

Wait, stop.

I'm freaking out right now.

Yes.

No, I love that.

That's my favorite kind of energy.

Like they have a straight face and they can say anything.

They're like, wait, I will tear your skin off and wear it.

I love your podcast.

And then they like won't even get a picture.

They'll just keep walking.

I'm like, oh, can I take a picture with you? Like you seem cool yeah i'm like i feel like i met you speaking of fangirling i got um a celebrity dm this is probably more exciting for me than you pray tell and i don't want to be weird but i do have to say um he's my zaddy my football zaddy i gotta wait football can you give me some i'd like to guess oh okay fine we'll play a game so we talked about him once on the pod and i know who you're talking about the guy the tom brady the guy the older think he dm'd you so this is not weird in any way not weird in any way he asked me out on a date we are together no we are in a bubble he sent the cutest supporting women in the arts message wait why can't i find I find him? Did he block me? Okay, found him. How awkward did that have been? He goes, I don't know where he goes.
My daughter and her friend played me the clip from your podcast. I think it's a clip where I called him a zaddy.
Let's just say I have some serious street cred and they can talk. They can't talk shit to dad for a while.
They love you gals. BTW give it a listen no that actually is gonna make me tear up one i freaking love when dads are like so obsessed with their daughters and like want to be cool for them and two the fact that he's like getting the vibe like women in the arts and like being supportive he also he said like they can't talk shit to dad for a while exclamation mark and with shit he wrote s and then two like asterisks and then t no i love him so much he's also i also agree i think he's like way hotter than tom brady way hotter and he has this low voice but this is the thing about him that's so great he had such a like difficult experience with like an injury and then tom brady taking a starting position when he was the quarterback that was getting paid to be the starter like he dealt with so much shit and he's just dealt with it with so much humbleness and like grace yeah grace and it's just it's like i said like tom brady winning seven super bowls like you're gonna try hard yeah like like be more drew bledso so drew bledso's daughter listens for the rest of us we fucking love you drew bledso's daughter tell me your first name so i don't call you drew bledso's daughter wait i got their names healy and callie shout out to my gigglers you guys are the best healy and callie what's up but I just want to do a shout out because it was father's day I want to do a shout out to my dad who I do have to say I know like women's sports is now popular this man this man has been fighting for women's sports since day one my dad and I like he got obsessed with women's sports because he loves sports and then he obviously got immersed in it with me and I posted this blurry photo there was a tournament going on it was a father-son doubles tournament 18 and under kids and my dad was like we want we have to play and I was like okay it's father-son and he's like there's no father father daughter tournament and this isn't fair so he like reached out and he was like can me and my daughter who's a nationally ranked tennis player play at it was like it was at the u.s open um in the father's because he's like title nine means if there isn't a girls team she has to have the opportunity to play on the boys team if she can qualify so they were like yeah so i was 14 years old too so we're playing all these older guys and we end up winning the whole tournament no oh my god how have you never told this story i don't know it's just like it's my dad is always like i've he also has never made it like it's a big deal that i'm a girl it was always just like this is my you know child and yeah i love sports and we are gonna compete and try to win and the favorite my favorite part about it is we play the boys and the dad would keep hitting it to me and at one point the son who we're playing against looks his dad and goes dad stop hitting it to the girl and my dad lost his mind and like to this day he'll quote and be like dad stop hitting it to the girl wait because when i was 12 years old was when i beat my dad for the first time in tennis which was like a big like yeah deal in the family because like my dad you know right was the tennis player and my dad said he was like it was the craziest moment where he's like I've never had more joy like seeing my own kid like get to a point where she was like mastering a sport that I introduced her to and no Hannah I was shopping today and I literally only thought about my daughter I was like I can buy that because she'll wear it in 20 years wait why does no one think i'm gonna be a mom i think you're gonna be a mom i literally think why do you think no one's at is is it because is it because they know i'm traveling so much i think it's because people just respect you more i think people just know you're capable of like so much so they're like she can do whatever she wants whereas me they're like well maybe you should just pack it in i do have to say because i feel so connected to you and like we joke that we're so opposites but in terms of a lot of our work ethic and me and you are very similar in a lot of ways so i get fucking furious when i feel like you get all the questions like when are you gonna move to the south and have children and i'm like whoa whoa whoa no one's even like people don't even acknowledge that i'm married i mean my dad thinks i have time to learn another language so if my own father can't figure it out I really i don't have faith for the rest of humanity as you guys know i partnered with dsw to curate the cutest spring shoe collection just fabulous it's just so freaking adorable okay so i picked a bunch of flats a bunch of fun heels and a bunch of sneakers i tried to do an equal amount because I know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know that there are a lot of pages also I mean did you see the gifting how freaking cute were all of those little boxes I was obsessed with them I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with like honestly with like sweatpants jeans capris I just feel like they've been my go-to for a little bit now and then I added a lot of really cute heels honestly I didn't even realize that I added a lot of white heels which I think is perfect because I feel like there's always girls getting married and having like all these different wedding things but I really tried to think like what do you need for spring So there's obviously a lot of like neutrals with heels and little kitten heels, but I'm obsessed with them.
So take a look at dsw.com. Right now, the collection is live and I'm sure I'll be reposting everyone wearing them.
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That's amazon.com slash ad-free podcasts to catch up on the latest episodes without the ads. I have a hot take.
I have a hot take too on something. Okay, give me me yours Oh, no, you go first Because I won't forget mine Okay, my hot take is I keep seeing people Not really I saw like maybe one person But it like annoyed me And that's when you should like think about If you have anger issues Another side note my mom has been calling me my dad this whole entire trip she's like you're a fucking psycho you are your dad anywho i saw this i saw this person on tiktok and she was talking about like um i don't know she had like broken up with her boyfriend or something like a couple years prior or whatever, but they still shared a dog.
Okay? Mm-hmm. That annoyed me.

Because in what world am i sharing a sharing an animal with someone that i now loathe if we have an animal together dog's mine dog's mine sorry dog is mine should they do like a um a prenup when you get an animal in any situation of like if this ends who gets it so the dog and that's and also like i i feel like I'm a very sensitive, empathetic, sympathetic person.

Maybe.

I'm an empath.

Here's the other thing.

If I'm. very sensitive empathetic sympathetic person maybe i'm an empath here's the other thing if i'm if i'm dating someone and we break up and he's like being such a fucking asshole about the dog dog's yours great fine dog is yours i never want to see either of you again then like i just don't think i could ever do that co-parenting a dog is the next level of like like, stress in your life that I just, I don't think it's worth it.
And I know you're like, I love the dog. I love the dog.
Get a new dog and you'll love that dog. Literally.
That's how I feel about men. That's how I feel about men.
You're upset. You're fighting for it.
Get another man. Whenever I love anything, but then I get a new one of that, I love it even more.
love something let it go and buy a new one also like if i met a guy and he was like oh yeah i'm co-parenting my labrador retriever with my ex i go ew yeah i'd be like oh really you guys she's gonna show up at the door and you guys are gonna hand off the fucking pug named romeo like yeah what now and then like no what it's part of me is like you guys still want to fuck and then it's like people live in different states and it's like i haven't seen the dog and like send like i need to visit with the fuck off literally fuck off i would just argue like unless you're married don't get a pet with someone is that like fucked up no i don't think okay and okay like say like you're living together you've been living together for a couple years you think you're gonna get engaged or you've talked about it you get a dog and maybe you don't get engaged i understand getting a dog in that situation or getting any type of animal but like i just know for myself i could never i'm not co-parenting an animal i feel like i would try and take the children for myself so like you know there's a lot of people live together before marriage so you're right i think it's more like if you're gonna get a pet have a pet for each person be like this is my dog when you're yeah when you're getting the animal like i feel like it should be established hey whose dog is this yeah in this moment like like doesn't i like butters my cat yeah and like when des fosters dogs i'm supportive but i'm not waking up at 3 a.m to walk the dog it's his dog like if i get a cat it's my cat yes are you getting me a cat i've been waiting my whole life for you to ask me this question but i just wanted you to settle down i honestly feel like september might be the time oh i was gonna say when you get back yeah i feel like i need an animal i would love to give you an animal i just feel like i'm at the stage where like i need yeah something i'm feeling very like maternal and like i don't want to have a baby yes but i need to like take care of something i do want to say external things are not going to help the internal but I will fully support this decision yeah but this I think also like for my anxiety I need so butter saved my life like butter butter literally saved my fucking life because when you wake up and you're just like in your own head it sucks and I've been through like the some you know when you're going through your fucked up 20s hard times and then you wake up and you just have this baby that just wants to lay on you and cuddle with you all day and you're just like i have something that loves me and is peaceful and cats the thing that makes cats so great which i read is that dogs are trained to love humans like they've been domesticated over the years to love humans that's why like i can meet someone's dog and take their dog and the next day the dog loves me and like that's the other thing the dog you you could give your dog to anyone and like they're gonna love them you don't need to co-parent if someone else took butter she would take a knife stab herself in the heart and be like give me back to my mama which and that's the kind of love i want but this is the thing with cats they're fucking feral and they choose to be with you and then they become obsessed with you and then you become this like root you routine together where you like on all cats do is sleep next to you like people don't talk about that like they just want to sleep all day next to you so when you're in bed like bed rotting the cat is like show me your culture where dogs will be like what are we doing are we playing are we going outside the cat is like no one fucking move and then someone does if you do like move your arm they're like what the don't fucking move your arm that's the energy i need because that's the energy i give like if someone moves from the bed i'm like why did you do that like we were in a great position like and i've i've dealt with like my friend michelle cheech shout out like she has loves dogs and i love dogs too she got this cat i kind of convinced her um the cat's name is diplo it's iconic she loves this cat more than anything like i just love seeing dog people get converted to cat people when they don't think they will and then they're like where have cats been all my life my friend called me and she was like wait all they want to do is sleep on you i'm like that's the fucking point yeah that's what i need i need someone to just sleep on me

wow i haven't had a cat rant in a minute thank you guys um oh my god you sent me the funniest tiktok did i this guy said if a girl tells you this is a big segue if a girl tells you during sex I want you to come

you fucked up

you're not killing it wait you're not smashing that pussy i feel like that's such a niche thing that like literally only the girls know and it's such a niche thing because also like they love when you say it i want you to come say it they love it this guy was doing a tiktok and he was like yeah if a girl

is like oh my god i really want you to come that doesn't mean she's really into it it means you're doing a bad job but i actually there are multiple times where you're not doing a bad job but i'm over it now like exactly like you're not fucking up we're done here we're done here let's wrap it up yeah i We're done here. Let's wrap it up.

Yeah, I'm especially done here.

I'm either like sore or like I'm uninterested or like I have things to do. Like I got to go.
So he was saying how like girls will start talking crazy. Crazy.

Once she tells.

Nothing has hit home harder than that.

Because I will.

When I'm done like because when i'm in in person like if i'm at a place and like something comes over me and then i have to leave like i'm not kidding i literally have to leave and craig gets so mad because he's like you have to give me like a five minute warning like we can't just like go even when i'm like getting off the phone with him i'm like okay i gotta go but he's like what the fuck so like i already have that in me so like during sex when i'm ready i go i will say some of the most insane things ever and he'll be like what the fuck if a girl tells you your dick is big like more than five times she is begging begging you to wrap it up. If she starts bringing up threesomes in the ninth hour, she's sore and she has to pee.
Okay? She literally is feeling a UTI coming on in that moment. Okay? Just don't know that.
She doesn't actually want to do that, you sicko. Okay? If I had had a buggy nickel it also because a lot of time we've already like come so it's like obviously if and we realize like we're not coming again because that's not his goal and yeah and they're like i feel like you could it's like shut the fuck up and it's like i feel like we've missed the boat on me at this point and i'm mentally and not here so let's physically

let's physically also but it's so i never thought about like guys because guys like it because i think guys are you know what also i think des has this funny joke where during sex girls are trying to come and guys are trying not to come that's so true so like he's fighting you know he's fighting not to. And you're like, hey, let it go.
You have to fight this fight. They think that you genuinely want what comes from them.
Yeah. And it's like, I couldn't want it further away from me.
Like not on my sheets, certainly not inside of me, not on my body. Like I'm not a human toaster str strudel I want you to come in your hand and I want you to leave me out of it and I want it to be right now I also would say I'm never not feeling good about myself when a guy comes fast like I've never left the experience being like that was bad I'm always like I feel good about myself okay that's so funny you say that because guys get so like embarrassed about it and what they don't realize is like we love it we love it i got ghosted by a potential love of my life because he was like humping me in bed and goes oh no i nutted and then i had to leave i think i've told so i had to leave because i got in a in a pickle with something but i was like obsessed with him like i i i didn't i was so into him and then i left early like i just had to leave and i think he felt rejected and then he like never talked to you again never talked to me and i think i saw him like years later and he was like yo super embarrassed i was like you could have what like that that was such a pleasant experience for me.
No, so pleasant. Like I'll never get mad when a guy can't get hard.
Like, oh, you drink too much. Can't get hard.
I don't give a shit. I am happier.
Like this is actually more enjoyable. What the fuck is on Netflix? Like I will never get mad at that.
But also if you can't get hard, like let's admit it. And let's not play the whole like pushing your al dente dick in my pussy absolutely not i feel like we've passed that threshold like we're in our 30s now like no one could even come near me with a messier dick these days i'd be like what what are you 17 get the fuck out of my face either you're ready or or not okay yeah like I pay taxes you're ready or you're not okay yeah like i pay taxes you're ready or you're not like okay final hot take yeah every skirt should be a skort no hannah no i'm against that one why like i need to understand why i'm not leaving this conversation until i have some fucking data okay okay a mini every mini skirt should be a score because not every skirt could be okay but like a maxi skirt can't be.
Oh, well. Okay, not a maxi skirt.
You just want built-in underwear. The thing is also as a tennis player, every skirt you wear has these little tiny like shorts.
So like you put the ball in it. But it's like I feel so naked if I'm just wearing a skirt with my.
And I wear granny panties. Yeah.
So like I'm wearing granny panties and a skirt and i'm just like i don't like it like why can't all of them protect you it's so funny i wore a skirt today and just like a and a thong and i don't ever think of it that's crazy behavior to me that's crazy i like whenever that happens i immediately think like at any time the air will just like get my skirt over my head. And I'm like, I can't tell you my perennium is out there.
I can't tell you the last time both of my butt cheeks have been covered by anything. Do you know what? Like I'm always wearing a thong.
And so like if I'm wearing a skirt or a dress, she's right there. She's right there at any moment.
Do you think you have thong blindness no i think you wait oh my god i didn't even say this because fucking shout out to thanks the period underwear yeah they they sent me a ton of them we like talked about it like probably like a year ago honestly they had sent me a ton and obviously i could never use them because i never got my period but i used them the first time hannah talk about like telling your period like you're not here anymore i'm not wearing a tampon it was insane it was the best thing i've ever used like i'll never not wear them when i have my period go to the bathroom it's not like gooey no like on the first okay like the first day i didn't wear it but like after day like on day like three because i i typically have it for like a full seven days that is like my normal yeah you know i have it for three days period really i have like two insane days of like murder scene shit. Yeah.

So like you're like,

you could do it your second and third day where I like since high school, I was,

my regular was always like a full seven days.

So like day four,

I was like,

okay,

I'm done with tampons now.

And I just think my way through and I loved it in an alternate universe.

I would love to know if men got their periods what technology they would have at this point hannah you are chat gbt because that's a great question like i would just love to see how things work to see it like even there's just so much technology for pussies that i like menopause they if men They just addressed it was a thing like five years ago. I might know literally.
That's why I went to the White House. It was all about the women's health initiative.
If men had periods every month, it would be it wouldn't even be the technology. We'd live in a different society to think they'd get the week off.
Yeah. They'd get the full week off and then they'd be able to claim like sorry period so like not liable they could literally go in shoot up anything and say sorry i was on my period and they'd get off not liable not liable i did hear one thing about how women are natural born leaders and men aren't i saw it too i saw it too it was funny because we were talking about lois and dez brought up he's like she is in charge and she's assertive and someone like i was like that i pretended i was teacher everyone sit down i'm teaching you and the boys are like fucking you know like eating worms in the backyard and the girls are organizing stuff but those are the people that don't become the leaders make it make sense no she this girl literally did a whole video on how like men like to be told what to do that's why they sign up for the military they like to have like someone giving them orders men are literally dogs girls or cats and once they have orders like then they can do it where women are so much better at like coming up with, OK, this is what we have to do.
The blah, blah, blah. That's why like there's like this whole debate, too.
I feel like on TikTok of like women, men not knowing where anything in the home is or like not knowing how anything works in the house. And it's like, OK, because you have to be told what to do no one told women how shit works and

we just do it like we just know this has x y and z has to get done before we go to work or we do that like men don't even have that which is absolutely insane and i love it so much because every time craig says he's going to become a cia agent and be recruited i'm like you can never find the scissors in your own kitchen.

You can,

you don't know find the scissors in your own kitchen.

You don't know where the scissors are in your kitchen.

But you're going to find Osama bin Laden.

They're going to recruit you to be a CIA operative?

I've told you where the scissors are.

You've opened that drawer.

You've stared at the scissors, and you've continued to say told you where the scissors are you've opened that drawer you've stared at the scissors and you've continued to say where are the scissors so let's not get crazy and outlandish here honey any any man who tries to like hide or be sneaky I'm like you left your socks on the floor right by your hiding place no No, it's just like you literally left your phone open.

You idiot.

Oh, my God.

I can't breathe.

Anyway, you guys, we love you so much.

Thank you for giggling.

Paige has one more week or so in Italy.

So we'll continue the Italy saga and put in your calendars July 9th because it's time to ride it down. We love it.
We love it. Thanks for giggling with us.
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