Giggling about girl on girl, dance cults, and fun drinks

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Trying is believing. Sup, gigglers.
Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit.
We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.
What's up, my global gigglers? I'm back. And Paige is about to leave.
Because everyone's in Europe this summer, and if you're not in Europe, like, what are you doing? Like, do you have a life? No, look, it was stressful. Traveling is so stressful.
Let's stop pretending that it's fun. No, I want to go on, like, a social media blackout when I'm traveling, because honestly, I'm not impressed with any of the outfits that I picked out.
Wait, you're disappointed in yourself? I sabotage myself. There's nothing like being disappointed in myself in an outfit.
Wait, I felt that like in my bones. Because like if you hire a stylist and you're like, oh, she's stupid.
You just blame them. Yeah, I'm like, she doesn't get me.
But then when it's something I picked out, I'm like, oh. I gaslit myself.
I sabotaged myself. I love when I show up after packing and I go, who the fuck packed this? Yeah.
And he realized it was you. Yeah.
I'll do this crazy thing where I'll just pack one thing that I like. Well, you, let's just say in general, you pack.
Very poorly. Like a crazy person.
Like. You don't pack complete outfits.
You pack like, oh, I like this. I like that shirt.
I'll wear it somehow. Or I'll pack stuff that I've never worn in the last year.
Yeah, because you're like. I think I'm going to be a different person on vacation.
Yeah, like vacation me is different. And then everyone jokes that you always pack like 40 pairs of underwear.
Like you're going to shit yourself every day, which I do. Which here's the thing.
I do run out of underwear. I don't do numbers.
I do packs of underwear. Like I just throw all of my underwear.
Because I'm a two, a two pair a day. If you like live a day and then go to bed with that same underwear, I got the egg.
No, you can't, you can't go to bed in the same underwear that you did the day in. In your walking underwear? No.
Nobody talks about your walking. My underwear after a day has been through a war zone.
It's not sanitary. It's not right.
It's not okay. Yeah.
And it is like a familiar smell. Like I'm like, that's me.
Yeah, that's me. But I'm not going to bring it to bed.
The bed is a safe haven. I'll bring it to the couch.
Of course. I'll bring it to the dining table.
Look at me pretending like you're at a dining table. But I am not bringing that in the bedroom.
Also, I shower, so I never. You're a nighttime shower.
Yeah. We know this about you.
We have to make a statement. Yeah.
And it's not funny. It's not funny.
It's not funny. So we're not laughing about it.
No. We're not laughing, but we need the gigglers to just put a prayer out there for Grace.
Grace is certainly not laughing. Grace is not laughing.
Actually, she was laughing. It was hurting.
Grace can't laugh right now. Grace had an accident.
Yeah. And it was no one's fault.
No. But herself.
Right. We tend to do that to ourselves.
She's one of us. She's one of us.
She's almost herself. She fainted and hit her jaw and broke it and now she's on a lot of drugs and we were like, Grace, we need to put the newsletter out tomorrow.
That's fucked up. In the group chat, she texted him and was like, guys, I'm going to be a little out of it this week, so, like, I don't know if I can, like, edit the pod or do anything.
And, like, of course, we're like, oh, my God, don't even worry about us. You're totally fine.
We're on the side being like, wait. Wait, what's going on? This is the problem about, like, finally getting about finally getting a CEO of our company is that we didn't anticipate when freak accidents happen that she's literally going to be high on something.
Arguably, her high is still better than us sober. A hundred percent.
A hundred percent. We should just let her do the newsletter high.
A hundred percent. Grace is taking this week off, so if we're a little slow on social media.
It's because Grace is taking a nap, a well-deserved nap. Grace is taking a nap.
I sent her, on behalf of the two of us, I sent her, which should arrive tomorrow, like an assortment. I was looking.
You're so good at this. I'm so, I love, this is my niche.
This is what you live for. I live for that.
You can put it in an accident. It's so not an accident.
What's the best gift I can send? I've been really topping all my baby gifts, too. My baby gifts are so good.
I sent her an assortment of ice cream from us. Oh, my God.
That's so cute. Because she's on a liquid diet, basically.
Yes. So I figured she could.
I was trying to find milkshakes, but you can't mail them. So I found myself in a pickle.
So for some reason, Grace told me first, because I think we were doing something with burner phone. And then I was like, have you told Paige? And she's like, not yet.
And we both were like, how do we break it to her? Yeah. And then she said that she has to be on a liquid diet.
We could get her like a juice juices. But sometimes I feel like that's mean.
Yeah. Making her drink like fucking like jalapeno pepper, cayenne, fucking.
No, I was thinking about i was like what is she legitimately eating like is she just eating soup and mashed potatoes isn't that basically what craig does you know literally all craig does he had to go get his cholesterol checked because of it did he really well because there's so much salt and soup yeah i was like you're gonna have a heart attack wait craig should do a ad with his mom like those football players do with like the soup. Yeah, the Hale and Hardy? I was like, you're going to have a heart attack.
Wait, Craig should do an ad with his mom like those football players do with the soup. Yeah.
I'll run that by. Sorry, just creative directing.
So Grace, not okay. Not okay.
And then, so we walk in and we're telling Chris this story and then Chris was like, any man was like, I have a story that will relate. I want to make this about myself.
I was like she didn't do anything stupid she wasn't drunk she literally she fainted and he goes I did something stupid when I was drunk and we were like do tell like any typical guy but he said that he had a what's it called a teacher a teacher doctor I don't think it's called a student doctor my college got got cancelled. You did one charity event at your college.
The next day they cancelled it. They were like, this college is not good for anyone.
It's so funny because my social circle right now is very interesting. I went to a 95th birthday party last night.
Absolutely lit. I had the best dress on obviously.
But I ran into the president of my college. I'm like in the social circle in Albany.
You can't even touch me up there. I like that you're just hanging out with the people that want to go to bed at 9 p.m.
That's what I do. The party started at 6.
I was in bed by 8.30. I was like, this is the best time ever.
It sounds like my marriage. But I had a story of one time about a student doctor.
If you don't know i got my appendix out in the third grade did you know that yeah and you almost died i didn't but okay you did add that the first time they did burst and i wasn't there for a week no you could die but i knew what could die when i i think that was a very pivotal moment in my life because i was very bitchy when i was in the hospital like as a third grader like I was very like no yes get out of my room someone brought you lunch you just flip the tray you're like what the fuck is this I'm not eating that um and I had like a tube like in my nose down my throat into my stomach so like I couldn't eat for a couple days because it was like sucking out whatever so no one could, my mom couldn't eat in front of me, my dad couldn't eat in front of me because if I smelt it, I would freak out and I couldn't have it. So she's a pleasant to be around.
A literal pleasure. Everyone on the floor loved me.
But I will say my surgeon, I loved her because she was gorgeous. Okay.
She came in one time in the middle of the night in a literal leopard hat. And I was like, you're stunning.
I love you. You can operate on me.
I will allow it. No, that's what I'm going to say.
If my surgeon's gorgeous, absolutely fucking not. If you took more effort into your face than what you're about to do into my fucking inside of my body, no thank you.
Why can't women do both? Why can't we be stunning, gorgeous, and perform surgery at the same time? This is like what I think about stylists. Not to bring up stylists again.
It makes us sound very traumatic. But just like Dr.
Stylist, very similar. I don't want my stylist to be too put together.
I want her to be working on other people's projects. I want her to look like she just like came out of a sewer and is in all black and she's so tired from putting together outfits last night for other people.
I hired my manager based on her sweater. She walked into lunch.
I said, you look amazing. You're hired.
Run my whole career, please. And you know what? When I'm learning about this life mental health moment, there's no right or wrongs.
No. You just have to keep making decisions.
It's when you stop and you pause that life becomes difficult. I don't know what to talk about.
So anyway, where was I? Okay, so the doctor comes in. Being mean to everyone.
Yeah, being mean to everyone. The doctor comes in and she goes, I have a student.
This is after she performs the surgery. She does it perfectly.
Amazing. She comes into my room.
Now, I'm literally six, like seven years old. Yeah.
Maybe eight. So, like, her even asking.
It could have been less. Her even asking me questions, like, if she's allowed to do things on me, is funny because I'm, like, a little kid.
Yeah. But, like, HIPAA violation, you know? Yes.
Like, it's always following me. Yes.
So, I can distinctly remember her saying, I have a student doctor here. I think legally she has to tell you.
Yes. Would you allow him to take the tube? No, they had taken the tube out of me.
They had to put it back in me because I got sick. She said, would you allow him to put this tube back in you? And I looked at her and I said, absolutely.
I was eight years old. I go, get away from me.
And that's called boundaries. I'll never forget it.
She had to have been like in her 40s now that I think of it. And he was definitely like in his 30s.
But I literally felt a man and I go, no. I was just so proud of you as the doctor.
And it's like, never let a man put anything down your throat. Yeah, I was like, a man in a tube in my body?

I don't think so.

I know what's going on here.

Keep your tube out of my mouth.

And she goes, OK, then I'm going to get another doctor to do it.

And I go, I can do it.

And she looks at my mom, and my mom is just like, I don't know.

A woman in stem. I'm being down here.

A woman in stem.

I take the tube.

No.

I put it inside my nose, down my throat, into my stomach. I go, anything else that we need to get done here today? So I'm a doctor.
That's the most upsetting story. I wonder where that student doctor is now.
That was his one opportunity to help someone, and he never got it, so he failed his test, and now he's on the streets. I was like, sorry.
Try someone else, bozo. Not to make this about me, but my appendix got, what's it called?

I got appendicitis.

Yeah.

Wait, you don't have an appendix?

No.

Oh, right.

It happened a couple years ago.

It happened while I was filming Chat Room.

Yes.

Throwback.

I'm filming a TV show in my mom's kitchen.

And you must have been sweating.

And I'm sweating. And we're like, you know, I'm chatting with Portia, Giselle.

My stomach's hurting. But like nine out of ten times, my stomach's hurting.

So I'm just like, yeah, my stomach's hurting.

No, that's what it is. You're like, just being a girl.

My stomach's fucking hurting. I'm being a girl.
I'm whatever. I have to shit.

But I like couldn't poop.

Yep.

I think I like unbuttoned my pants because like something was just like.

The pressure.

There was pressure happening. There was burning.
There was something. I go, Mom, my stomach's killing me.
And she immediately looks at me and she goes, we have to go to the hospital. Your appendix is going to burst.
And I go, what are you talking about? She goes, I've been waiting for this moment. I've been researching.
It was the most mom math shit ever. My stomach, I'm always like, oh, my stomach hurts.
And she's never acted like that. But your appendix is a different pain.

We had to like go to a hospital and we ended up going to the wrong hospital first.

And I remember thinking like, oh, my God, we're almost there.

And then they're like, oh, no, this is the wrong one.

I remember being like, I'm not going to make it.

I was like, am I affairs in order?

Well, it's so poisonous, which is so crazy.

And I can remember being little. And when mine burst, I was in the hospital room.
And I said, Oh, I feel better now. Like something just happened.
I feel fine. And the next thing I know, they're putting oxygen on me because they're like, we immediately have to take her to the OR.
Like you could die if it like leaks into wherever. They also do think that it's poop.
Like I remember she was like, you, I think my stuff was wrapped around my stuff. Yep.
And that can happen. And they got confused.
They didn't know what was going on.

I'm just like, look, I can't tell if I'm literally just a little bit bloated or I'm going to die.

And that is so embarrassing. Because also it's always branded that girls are like dramatic,

but women have the highest pain tolerance. That's the thing.
I remember them being like, not giving me any pain pills.

And finally I had to be like, hey, can I get something?

And they gave me something little.

And I was like, no, no, no.

They had to give me like crazy amount of morphine.

And I still felt it through the morphine.

Yeah.

I had to like, when I got my wisdom teeth out, I had to like, get like four rounds of

hydros.

And I remember my mom being like so nervous.

You're like, you're going to get addicted to them. What's up? Oh, you know when I got my wisdom teeth out, I wasn't even under.
Really? Yeah, I just had a really bad reaction. I might put the picture in the newsletter one day because it's terrifying.
Also, can you put in the newsletter all your like get well gifts? Because I was laughing because on the way here, I was Googling what to get someone after an accident. Yeah.
So there's this company that I use a lot. It's called, I'll put all of this in the newsletter.
I'll put my baby gifts. Not this week, though.
We don't have one this week. Yeah, mom, this week, we don't know what's going on.
Like, do we have health insurance? Like, what's going on? Well, she's under 26, so she's okay. Thank God.
She's still on her mom's. But there's this company called Gold Belly.
And I found it, I think, like, during COVID, my friends were using it.

And you can ship, like, any food, like, famous food from different parts of the country to anywhere.

And that's so Italian coded of you.

So Italian.

So, like, one of my girlfriends, she made her, like, mikvah.

Like, she became Jewish.

And she, like, had to do this, like, ritual.

And it was a mikvah.

So I sent her a spread from Katz Deli. Because I was like, what do you send? Someone like she became Jewish and she like had to do this like ritual and it was a mikvah so I sent her a spread from Kat's Deli because I was like what do you send someone who's just became Jewish I'm like obviously a sandwich is that your love language sending gifts sending gifts and not having to see the actual person one I love it thinking of you but don't text me no I since I've moved into my new apartment i i haven't gotten any furniture because it's not like hasn't been shipped yet and i'm waiting for this specific couch from cb2 okay and i'm really thinking about never getting furniture because i have my bed which is all i really need and i'm the one that lives there and everyone that's texted me like oh my god you moved like I gotta come over and see it I'm like yes as soon as I get furniture you're coming over so I haven't had to have anyone over in like a month and I love it hot take furniture is overrated I think it's actually a multi-level marketing scheme why do you need so many chairs I don't like I literally I don't random tables Why do you need random tables? No.
Because I like when things

are like clean and

nothing's ever been clean in my apartment.

The more shit you have, the more stuff you put on

it. I won't put a bunch of clothes on a chair

if I don't have a chair.

My apartment's never been cleaner. All you really need is a

bed, one couch.

Minimalist. And you don't even need

the couch. No.
And then

you have a toilet. And that's really it.
I have my squatty potty and I'm fine. MTV Cribs.
Here's my squatty potty. Honestly, when I was moving, my mom was so embarrassed to move it.
She was like, so gross. Can you just throw that out? I can't believe you even have that with Craig.
You have a boyfriend. I'm like, he knows that I shit sometimes.
Yeah, and I have a steady flow and a wide set butthole. You want to know something else? I haven't gotten my period.
We all know that. But I genuinely think I'm going through, like, the P, like, I'm getting it without getting it.
The ghost PMS. Yeah.
It's really fucking annoying. And now, and I know that I'm synced up to Taylor Fitzgerald, so I texted her.
I texted her the other day. And I go, hey.
Wait, why did I get jealous? Sorry. I just got weird.
Sorry. I was like, oh, she's.
It's because I was with her for a whole week, and then I was like, I feel like I'm getting my period. And she goes, I just got it today.
Yeah. So I was like, maybe we synced up.
So I I texted her and I said, any chance you're feeling a little PMS-y?

Because I just ordered IHOP.

And she texted me back.

Wait, I have to see what she texted me back.

Because she texted me back.

So I'm like, so fucking insane.

She was like, so yeah, I think I am PMS-ing also.

What's your IHOP order?

Oh, I don't, I never have ever been to IHOP.

And all of a sudden, I was just like, wait,

I need pancakes.

Yeah. They also have really good

hash browns. She said, well, I just saw a cute

old lady in a restaurant, and so I'm

crying, so maybe we are due.

Okay.

Do you ever, like,

do you ever have a situation with

someone you love, and then you randomly will go and think about like a movie montage of like their whole life with them and then when they're gone and then think about, are you talking about your grandpa again? No, but like people who are alive and you're like, this one of those moments I'll think about when they're dead. Anyway, life is, my week has been going really well.
I dyed my hair red. It's so good.
This is kind of what I always thought it looked like, but I didn't. I finally bleached it.
Oh, you did? I didn't ask her. Okay.
I basically was like, this is what I want. And I was like, but you don't have to bleach it, right? And she was like, no, we fully have to bleach it.
And I was like, okay, just don't tell me that you're bleaching it.

So how long, from start to finish, how long were you there?

Probably like three hours.

And that was today?

Yeah.

I love it. I just showed up.

My girl, Stephanie, shout out to Stephanie at IGK Salon.

She doesn't tell me anything.

Okay.

She just, we make eyes.

I show her a photo.

She disappears, starts mixing some stuff.

And people ask me all these questions.

They're like, did she do this?

I'm like, I don't ask. I don't know.
Who am I to ask her? Yeah, who am I? To disrespect her art. Who am I to ask the surgeon? I'm going to question Stephanie.
I'm not questioning Stephanie. I'm only going to say, oh, did you use CB2 in it? No.
Did you use A473? No. I'm going to let her do her thing.
If she did say, hey, can I use a student hair colorist on it? Then you'd be like, ma, I don't know. That's how I bleached my hair in college at a student place for $35.
And the girl literally was like, I'm not going to bleach your hair. And I was like, do it.
I have things going on in my life that I need to do it right now. As a former student, no.
No. Chris said a former student doctor stapled your head.
Yeah, 13 staples. I don't remember them asking me.

They probably did.

But honestly, I think I would have been like, yeah, sure.

Everybody's got to learn.

Well, most of the gigglers are doctors, so they'll probably DM us and tell us if that's

like a legal thing that has to be done.

Like they have to tell you it's a student doctor?

I'm looking for a lawsuit.

So if they can tell me that I have a case, I'm down.

When did that happen, Chris?

Like 2021.

So not long ago. I thought it was pretty long ago.
Oh. There's a statute of limitations for stapling.
Oh, my God. I feel like you.
Have you watched the TikTok dance documentary? I love that I can call it work when I have to be like, everyone, stop calling me. I have to watch the TikTok dance cult documentary for Research for Giggly Squad.
Where do you begin? First of all, can we just talk about the cinematography in terms of the story and the way they put together? Such a well-put-together documentary for three episodes. The Ashley Madison documentary should have taken Like, this was done so well.
I think the craziest part about it is I don't think I've ever watched a documentary in, like, real time it's happening. Like, she's still in it on TikTok.
Did you know about it? No. So I had heard murmurs, I think because I'm, like, kind of adjacent to the cult community.
So it comes up on my algae. Ew.
I just got the ick on myself. That was so like Gen Z.
Or just like, I don't know what that was. I'm sorry.
I apologize for the academy. So it was on my algorithm.
And basically, I looked at the girl, 7M. I started following some stuff.
i knew about it it is so heartbreaking long story short these girls are dance dancing is a cult first of all dancing is a cult dancing is a cult dancing is a cult it dancing is what you do i don't know but it's not what you do organized okay once you start dancing you know all those videos where everyone's in a circle and someone's dancing that's a cult yeah so you should know that also like it's just it's so like if you just take a second to stop and think like there are multiple people that in that moment that looked at each other were like we're we're we're we're in a cult like and they were married to each other yeah that like got out yeah like so i just think that's a funny moment to have that you could look back on in 20 years and be like, remember that time we were like, hey, I think we're in a cult. Well, the crazy thing is some people get out after three years, which seems like a crazy long time.
Then some people are like, it took them 23 years. Yeah.
But cults are real. And I have empathy for people in cults because I want to belong to something.
Yeah. I want to put all my faith in something else and just, like, have hope and listen to And also like you can see how they joined it because like they were making money.
This was their job. They're all dancers like.
And also with like TikTok, with all the dancing TikTokers becoming like really big during COVID and stuff. Yeah, of course they don't know how to do like contracts or like brand deals.
And it's some person's being like, hey, we're going to do it for all of you. And like, this is how we're going to set up.
And you respect a couple people in it. You're like amazing.
This is great. And I like talking about this because at any time anyone could fall into a cult, this guy in particular created Shekinah, which for some reason sounds like vagina to me.
And they kept saying Shekinah. I'm like, is it Shekinah? I feel like it's not Shekinah.
Okay, throughout the entire documentary, I still don't know what they meant when they were referring to that. That's the name of his church.
So people can just, like, make a church and, like, call it something. And they went with Shekinah? Yeah, I don't know.
I want to know the backstory on that. There could have been a whole episode on how they came up with Shekinah.
Chris is Googling it. Watch out for what comes up.
So he basically, he takes advantage of like, I think it was like immigrants who were especially going through a hard time. They're feeling confused.
They're having trouble with their parents. And he gets them into this church and he gets them all to work for him.
And you're just giving it to the church and everyone's happy. But then you realize he's sexually assaulting them.
You know where it it goes so then i guess he always wanted to be famous or like be powerful so he heard about these dancers and was like hey i'll do contracts for you and someone who he's with did video it just like worked organically next thing you know these dancers are giving 20 to him 10 to the church another 10 to something but it's all going to him. Yeah.
And it... They should spend one week with you.
And they'd be like, no. One week with you, and you'd be like, you're not paying for that.
You're not getting an Uber XL for him. No.
Absolutely not. Put your coins back in your pocket.
You are very good at, like, finances and knowing when, like, no. I mean.
I'm not. Look, not that I'm cheap, but I don't like being ripped off.
No, you hate it. And you know the second I got into that cult, I'd be like, where's this 10% gold? I know that I would never be in a gold because you would never allow me to pay any money.
You'd be like, where's that going? No, but you would fully be'm like page where is all your money you've made so much money and you'd be like i have no idea where it is i don't i don't know so but these dancers they're they're working really hard and they have each other but long story short he did this thing where he said like you have to die for your family die on your family or die for your family. He was comparing it to, like, how Jesus died for our sins or something.
And he was saying, like, if you want your family to go to heaven, you have to also die for them. So, like, you have to not ever speak to them again.
So, if you're not sure if you're in a cult, if they're telling you. You can't call your mom.
Every single. You're in a cult.
Yeah. if your mom can't send you a meme...
I know. You're in a cult.
If your mom can't DM you a meme, you're in a cult. And it's like, it's one thing if you're having a hard relationship with one of your parents, but if they tell you that every single person in your life is fucked up, let's be honest, sometimes it problems you.
I'm going to say something, and it might be, like, a little controversial. I just don't feel like anyone who is Italian has ever been in a cult because of our moms.
Because there's no way I'm calling my mom and being like, sorry, I can't come home. She'd be like, oh, really? Okay.
I'll be there in 15 minutes. I'll pull you out by your fucking hair.
I don't care how old you are. You're coming home with me.
If I don't call my mom in three hours, she's like, what's going on? My mom would have been at that man's house. She would have, like, that man.
I'd be afraid for him. I called the cops for him.
No, no, no. I'd be like, you have no idea what's coming your way, buddy.
Do you know when, like, something happens and you're like, you do not want my mom to get involved? Like, hey, Mr. Cult Leader, like, I know you're I know what we're trying to do here and I'm, like, so supportive.
I'm telling you if Lenora's gonna get involved, like, it's not gonna be good. Like, she'll bring this, burn it all down.
Like, I mean, I don't Yeah, so I just feel like no one in Italians ever, like, succumbed to a cult or, like, a multi-level marketing because But the parents, it is, like, because the parents, some of them retired early so they could fight to get their children back. But this is where it got fucked up.
Finally, the parents are speaking out. It gets attention.
So he changes his strategy and says, actually, don't die on your family because if you do that, they're going to speak up and bring bad bad attention to us you have to stay in contact with them to make them think that you haven't died on them and that's why she keeps like posting instagrams but they're like acting it's literally like when your friend is in a toxic relationship yeah and you know they're in a toxic relationship they do but they don't yeah and then you hang out with them and the whole time you're like and he's there and you know they're in a toxic relationship. They do, but they don't.
And then you hang out with them and the whole time you're like, and he's there and you're like, oh my God, no, that just made me so uncomfortable. That's literally how they hung out.
I think the dad was probably the saddest part of the whole thing. The way the dad cried, because seeing a dad have two daughters.
Yeah. Like he's a girl dad,

you know?

So like he's emotional and I felt bad for him the most.

It's also hard.

Cause you see the sister,

she's finally getting married.

The one who isn't in the cult.

And she's now dealing with different levels of like losing someone,

whatever it's called.

The stages of grief morning.

Yeah.

So now she's in an angry place where she's like, I actually don't want to invite her to my wedding and it's not like they weren't they were best friends so but it's also not like they weren't something on tiktok like they already had a lot of followers they were doing brand deals like they had become big on their own just being good dancers and being sisters so they didn't even need this weird cult to help them yeah and. And so I think that's the weirdest part.
It's like, okay, you literally just, like, dropped your sister. Yeah.
Like, how do you get so brainwashed so quickly is what's scary to me. I think also because she's in a relationship.
Men are involved. Yeah.
Men. That's a great campaign slogan or slogan or just like men are involved.
So let's... Side note, I do have to say New York City is out of control right now.
It's 85 fucking degrees. And I have to say the men are out of control right now.
Have you walked outside recently? No. No.
And now I'm really not going out. Don't go outside.
So when it's hot out, like, the men, like, first of all, like, the crazies come out.

Yeah.

And men are just walking around, like, no shirt.

Just, like, spitting everywhere.

Like, spitting.

Like, why is every man spitting?

I'm so glad you brought this up.

Chris is laughing because he's one of them.

And then they're, like, sweaty.

And then everywhere you go, you smell a smelly man.

And it's, like, this is why people go to the Hamptons.

Now, I don't know who told the men that all of a sudden it's 85 degrees and the New York City streets are their personal gem. No, literally.
If I see one more man running. If I get elbowed by a fucking jogger.
Yeah. In your little short shorts, your no shirt.
Who told you you could wear no shirt running down 47? Stop stretching on the corner. No one wants to see that.

And like, okay, we got it.

You went to Harvard 30 years ago.

Drop it.

You don't need to wear the T-shirt running.

Like go to the YMCA, like a normal fucking human.

Go to Equinox or go to the West Side Highway.

Stop like running, stopping at like the crosswalk and like.

Like cutting people off, doing a pick, making me fucking like like, play this game. Like, I'm playing deep basketball defense on you.
I didn't ask. All trip is ass.
Yeah. So.
We're against exercise. We're against exercise.
Women against. We're against dancing.
It's so hard to make a living dancing. It is really hard.
Because even if you become, like, Beyonce's backup dancer. Yeah.
making good money on a thing. I think it's a tough life.
She has like 400 backup dancers. But it's a tough life because you only do it for the tour.
When you're on tour, yeah. And then you have to wait for like Lady Gaga to pick you up.
And who knows, Rihanna's not making new music. And I bet there's a lot of politics and drama of like, oh, he danced for her.
Like, I'm not picking him. Like, I don't like, you know.
So there's probably so much. The dance drama's crazy.
Also, one injury, you're out. And you're done.
One sprain of ankle. And they never, like, say who the dancers are.
It's not like they get any, like, notoriety or, like, their names are never anywhere. So I feel like they do have a thankless drama.
And, like, yeah, so you think you could dance was fun. Anyway, the cult thing is crazy.
So it sounds like we are against people in the arts. Yeah, we're not.
We're against women in the arts. She's in the cult thing is crazy so it sounds like we are against people in the arts we're not we're against women in the arts she's in the cult still so all we can do is help people who are thinking of joining dance right now say maybe maybe just stick to getting a little drunk on Saturday and shaking your ass and then call it a day let's dance a couple times somewhere else also, I love dancing.
Okay. You know, those friends are like, I just want to dance tonight.
I'm like, go to therapy. I've never had one of those friends, I don't think.
I've never had a friend who's really good at dancing. Haley's really good at dancing.
Oh, yeah, she is. But she's not annoying about it.
No. You know some of those friends who at any point want to show off? Haley will accidentally, you'll be like, oh she's a she's a dancer but hailey will break out into song at any moment not just any song whitney fucking houston hailey won't throw dancing in our face but she will throw her voice in our face if you say i want to dance tonight it means you want to do drugs i think life 360 is one of the best inventions ever it addresses that anxiety with your location sharing app that puts the real-time location of everyone you love right in the palm of your hand have you ever been like where is my mom why isn't she answering the phone well life 360 stops that problem from happening i am in constant contact with my mother because that's just the kind of person i am and i know for a fact when i have kids i'm definitely getting Life360 because I don't know how I'm not going to worry all of the time but really no matter what stage of family life you're in you can family proof your family with Life360 app so whether you have a busy schedule with your kids and you have to bring them this place and that place and you want to know exactly where everyone is Life360 literally solves that problem for you it also helps you coordinate everyone's schedules with life 360 you get extra peace of

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I actually took a lot of notes for this episode. Let's begin the episode.
Let's begin. Someone asked me, speaking of outfits, are you wearing polka dots for continuity? For continuity? Like as if I'm shooting something and it has to make sense? No, I wore one dress for all my shows in Europe.
I was like, wait, what are they even talking about? I brought other dresses. Oh, like for videos.
Yeah, I don't know. It just look, the other dresses didn't hit the same.
You know when you like find an outfit that works? Yeah. So once I get it, I go, we're wearing this until I can't wear it anymore.
I'm very into polka dots for the summer. It's so cute.
It's so cute. It's like vintage vibe feeling.

And I like that style dress

on you. Do you remember I finally bought

like real sunglasses?

They were like $180. Okay, where'd you get

them from? Vintage from

Reformation on Melrose.

All I have is Amazon, but I was like

I deserve one nice pair.

Lost them first day in Europe.

Stop. No idea where is it? Stop.
Didn't lose anything else. I have my toothbrush.
I have all my headphones. Every Delta headphone.
Isn't that just the way? I literally look. I'm like, Mom, I lost my headphones.
She's like, no. No.
So that was your enemies? That was just, like, working. My enemies.
Then I wrote, I dress like I'm pregnant. I actually do.
Like, you know when people are like, oh, I have to change my style because I'm pregnant I will not have to change my style at all everything I wear is stretchy me and my mom go back and forth on this all the time my mom does not like the trend where like it's cool to like have your stomach out when you're pregnant. She's like, I'm not used to it.

No one ever did that when we were younger.

Where I think it's now having a baby bump is a literal accessory.

A thousand percent.

It's like, oh, I'll wear this top and then my baby bump.

Bedazzle it.

I could see you in a white button down that just opens up,

and then you have a little skirt in a bag. Yeah, and it's just like, I'll wear flats and my baby bump.

Which baby bump should I wear with this shirt? No, but I plan my outfits based on, like, bloat. Yeah, I don't want to be uncomfortable ever.
Yeah, like, if I put it on and it's tight, we're not lasting the day in that. No, no, no.
We're not lasting the day. No.
So I'm excited for dressed like I dressed like i'm pregnant also heels have you seen these videos of the wmba girls they're putting on these like fun sick outfits and i'm loving it i follow wmba right now i'm like very into it it's having a real the controversy all this one i'm there's so many how come no one's talking about that they're paying these girls pennies?

Yeah.

Why?

People are talking about it because no one in the past was paying for advertising because they weren't getting enough views in their games for TV.

But now the views are up, and now people are like, okay, so let's raise the pay.

Okay, so are they allowed to do brand deals on their own?

Yes. Okay.
But it's evolving. It's changing.
It's just taking some time. I need someone to step in and give the women the paycheck they deserve.
Now you sound like you want to start a basketball cult and take 20% of all the brand deals. Is there a union? Because I'll start one for organized sports.
My favorite thing is these girls are wearing these cool outfits and they're videoing them walking to the locker room. And it makes me feel so seen because none of them can't walk in heels.
Have you seen it? No, they cannot. They walk exactly how I walk in heels.
Because when you live in sneakers, you're made to be a fast athlete. You walk.
You don't change how you walk. You're like, I'm an athlete.
I'm walking. I'm here.
And this is how I walk. So then you put heels on, and they're, like, literally a deer on ice.
And it made me feel so seen, so happy. Because Caitlin Clark, oh, my God.
She's wearing, like, fancy YSL ones. And it looked like she was.
No, Angel Reese was, like, tip-topping. What if someone, like, sprains an ankle before the game? Could you? Because of their Yves Saint Laurent.
Imagine. High heels on my pitties.
Oh my God. If one of the girls.
That would be all the NBA would need. Like, oh, they can't even walk into the locker room.
I dare the men to walk in heels. No.
Some of them are probably good at it. Speaking Speaking of men one more time, someone put a stat out there.
I don't know where the stat came from or the legitimacy of it at all. But the stat is – For someone who doesn't love math, I love a stat.
I love a good stat. I love a good Venn diagram.
I don't want to count anything, but I want the numbers. Tell me if you're above or below.
Okay. This woman said that women are only physically attracted to 4% of men.
Spot on. Spot on.
You ever have those moments where you're trying to figure out if you're gay or straight? Because I'm not attracted to girls, but I'm also not attracted to most men. Right.
So it becomes very cloudy at some point. I feel like every girl does have that moment.
I mean, I feel like I did have that moment in college when I was like, started watching girl on girl porn and I got like really scared. I was like, wait.
No. I'm going to have to tell my mom that I'm a lesbian.
All straight girls like girl on girl porn. Right.
I don't know if lesbians like girl on girl porn.

I would assume they do. Okay, we have to check out.

Because they're doing it in real life.

So I would assume that they're down with it.

But like I get that we as straight girls, we watch it because we're like, they're safe.

They're safe.

Everything's fine.

They can't get pregnant if they don't want to be.

Like everything's good.

They're braiding each other's hair.

Like, they're going to, like, take a nice nap after.

She keeps asking her, like, are you hungry?

Do you want a snack?

So, like, I get that.

But in terms of.

I think it's because I'm not attracted to any man who would do porn.

So once the man gets in, I'm like, I don't want to fuck him.

No.

I almost would rather watch two guys who are gay.

Thank you. would do porn.
So once the man gets in, I'm like, I don't want to fuck him. No.
I almost would rather watch two guys who are gay. It's so funny that you bring this up.
I had a friend, I love when this happens. I was just talking about this the other day.
I had a friend tell me a story where she said that her, her friend and her friend's husband, they were, they watch porn together and like they have sex and whatever and they always are like switching up their porn and the husband said let's watch guy on guy and so in my head I'm like well she's married to a gay man because like but then I'm like oh wait but if I watch girl on girl then but I'm not gay. Yeah.
But what is, is that the equivalent? I just don't know if that is the equivalent. And she said, as the woman, she was like, no, I'm into watching Guy on Guy.
And so I'm like, maybe you're gay. Oh, my God.
No, porn is very confusing. Porn is so confusing.
One of my good friends, Emma Willman, is a lesbian and she likes watching two gay guys. Interesting.
Very interesting. And I always feel like you don't pick your porn.
Like you're attracted to what- The porn picks you. No, literally, it does.
I feel like porn picks you. Like you don't pick what gets you off.
You just see it and you're like, oh, and now I like that. Like I didn't know I liked that, but I guess I do.
That's how fetishes happen. Like, you don't pick what gets you off.
You just see it and you're like, oh, and now I like that. Like, I didn't know I liked that, but I guess I do.
That's how fetishes happen. Like, one day something weird happens and a breeze hits your clit the wrong way.
And you're like, oh, no, now I am going. No, it's the same thing with, like, things you don't like.
Something will happen and you're like, oh, yeah, don't ever do that to me again. Don't do that again.
I didn't like that. Everyone's gay and everyone straight.
And everyone's on the spectrum. Happy Pride.
And happy Pride. And happy fucking Pride.
And you don't pick your porn. Your porn picks you.
I think that's nice. The porn algae finds you.
Des and I still can't. We still can't do the porn thing.
You two are too funny together. You Thank you.
You're too comedic. We just, it takes a lot to, yeah, for us to get into, like, a serious enough place.
Like, we can't even, we can't. I want to be that couple.
You guys can't even look at each other during sex because you're like, it's just funny that we do this. Look, every now and then we're like, we have to stop talking.
Yeah. Shut the fuck up.
Get back to business. We just, like, we went through a whole journey.
We went through a whole thing. I'm sweating.
I don't know how we even got there, but we went through a journey. Do you want another stat? Yeah, I do.
She's like, I'm so excited. So the founder of Spanx, Sarah Blakely.
Yes. Came up on my algae today.
And she said that women were not able to get a business loan until a surprising time.

You either had to have a man co-sign it or be part of the loan.

What year do you think women legally were allowed to get a business loan on their own?

1975? 1988. 1988.
Like our own moms couldn't get a business loan. So you couldn't start a business and go to the bank and be like, I need, you needed a man? Little bird brain woman, No.
Go make someone a sandwich. Bird brain woman.

Go on. A man.
A little bird brain woman, no. Go make someone a sandwich.
Bird brain woman. Go watch some girl on girl porn.
You can't run a business. But isn't that fucking crazy? Oh my God.
And that's why there's a wage gap. Also, imagine like one woman that went into the bank and was like, okay, I need a business loan.
And some guy being like, no. And then the Spanx girly literally has like a billionaire business right now.
Yeah.

But also this is, look, we've been a little negative on men this episode. Chris, we love you.

I think there's really two types of men. There's men who like actually don't like women.
Yeah.

Then there's the men who like actually fucking love women. That's why I think fuckboys is interesting because there's the fuckboy that's like, he's in his own shit, whatever.
But then there's the fuckboy who like actually hates women and wants to hang with the boys and talk bad about women. I've dated a few men that they hated women because they had such mommy issues for whatever reason.
They hated them. But then I've also dated fuckboys that like their mom, they love their fucking mom.
Like they put their mom puts them on a pedestal. And that's why they're a fuckboy because they're like, yeah, I'm not gonna get in trouble.
This isn't bad. Like my mom thinks I'm perfect.
Yeah. So it's like that I think is the majority.
Or they love their mom too much where it's like, yeah, they're not treating women as like normal people. It's just like my mom, then everyone else is less than her kind of thing.
Yeah. You just need men who like look you in the eye and fucking listen to you.
How did we get the bar solo? I'm just trying to help the girlies. Yeah.
Like, because I feel like in my 20s, I really did not understand red flags. You couldn't decipher.
I thought, I was like, okay, so we need them to be hot and successful and funny, but we also need to somehow figure out that they're not a serial killer, that they also will be trustworthy, that they also will be kind. Like, this is too much stuff that I'm navigating, and I also have to be, like, have chemistry with them.
It's a lot. And also, they have to be, like, nice to you, and they also have to, like, make you laugh, And I also have to be like, have chemistry with them.
It's a lot.

And also they have to be like nice to you.

And they also have to like make you laugh.

And they also have to like plan stuff.

And then like want to see you.

It's a lot.

You have to check off a lot of things when you're dating. And then you don't know who you are.

Right.

Because like then you're alone and you're like, what the fuck's going on here?

And then you're with him and you're like, mold me baby.

Yeah.

No, the men are always bad. I've been over them for a minute.
I stay over them. Oh, God.
I love the summer because I love a fun drink. You will never see me go to the store and be like, let's get a drink i get a water those people are so boring you know it's so funny i'm always thirsty like if someone has a drink if someone has a drink i have to have a sip of it like even if i wasn't thirsty before but i see you drinking something i'm like i need a sip like a good jewel yeah let me hit that when you go into like a gas station or like a bodega, what's your like go-to drink?

Because I go through phases the same way where like you go through food phases.

Like right now I'm in a real diet Dr. Pepper phase.

Can't get enough of them.

People don't talk about it enough.

Diet Dr. Pepper is so fucking good.

Arguably better than regular Dr. Pepper.

Arguably better, but also Dr. Pepper in general, my favorite soda.
How have we not brought up the doctor before? Wait. He's the only person I want to deal with my appendix is Dr.
fucking Pepper. Dr.
Pepper. Who is he? Is he his daddy? If he was a gynecologist, I'd actually allow it.
Dr. Pepper.
Wait, we've never talked about this. It also could be a woman.
And I will talk. It could be.
Wow. Wow, that was bad of us.
And that was on us. And that's on us.
And that was us. We did apologize.
And that was on us. We assumed it was a man.
But it was men's fault that we thought that. Yes.
It brainwashed us. Would you ever have a male gyno? You know.
It's been so lonely, I am. Here's the thing.
For my everyday, like, my annual checkup... I thought you were going to say anal.
Like, I'm just... I'm more comfortable with a woman.
If I had something really wrong with me and I needed, like, a team of doctors, I guess I would allow a man to man to like take a look. I do have to say.
I certainly don't want a man being like, okay, you're going to feel a little pressure. Like, nah.
Male gynecologists, I think should be illegal. Yeah, I think it's like a weird.
Because I don't know a lot about doctors. I don't know anything about Dr.
Pepper. But I know that there's a point where, as a doctor, you can decide where you want to go.
Yeah, well. So that means they look someone in the eye and was like, I want.
Gynecology. I want to study pussy.
Yeah. And it's like, why do you want to do that? Well, you can be.
Wait. Can you be an OB.
Wait. Can you be a doctor that delivers babies and not be a gynecologist? Great question.
It's like a rectangle and a square. Like, because I think you can be just like a regular gynecologist and not deliver babies.
And then I think you can deliver babies in a hospital and not be like the routine pap smear kind of doctor. That is a really fucking good question.
Because isn't that when you go and it's like gynecology slash OBGYN. Yes.
Yes. I don't know.
I don't either. And you want to know what? We don't, we're not in a position to know.
Because we're not ready for children. Chris is so confused right now.
I'm trying so hard, guys. I'm trying so.
Think about it from our perspective. Like, if I chose, of all the things to help, I'm like, I want to deal with dicks.

That's fucking weird.

You know what's even crazier?

They don't even have a doctor for that.

They're not going.

Wait, did they just make up a pussy doctor so doctors can just be creepy?

I think it's so crazy because I'm like, you don't go and get him checked

to make sure he's doing what he's supposed to be doing every couple years. I know that nurses will put their hand on their balls and ask them to cough.
Has that happened to you, Chris? That's happened to me, yeah. And I know that when- Did you ask why they did that? No.
I mean, they put staples in my head that I didn't ask questions about that either. This is my thing.
Yeah. I only want- A woman.
A woman. Yeah.
I think it's weird. It's it's like priest like how did you get there then i'm not even gonna get into that as you guys know i partnered with dsw to curate the cutest spring shoe collection just fabulous it's just so freaking adorable okay so i picked a bunch of flats a bunch of fun heels and a bunch of sneakers i tried to do an equal amount because I know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know that there are a lot of pages also I mean did you see the gifting how freaking cute were all of those little boxes I was obsessed with them I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with like honestly with like sweatpants jeans capris I just feel like they've been my go-to for a little bit now and then I added a lot of really cute heels honestly I didn't even realize that I added a lot of white heels which I think is perfect because I feel like there's always girls getting married and having like all these different wedding things but I really tried to think like what do you need for spring So there's obviously a lot of like neutrals with heels and little kitten heels, but I'm obsessed with them.
So take a look at dsw.com. Right now, the collection is live and I'm sure I'll be reposting everyone wearing them.
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Masseuse, do you pick male or woman? Female. Female.
Oh my god. That's so vulnerable.
No. Just because, literally only because, I don't trust anyone.
And I'm certainly not going to put myself face down. I think because I was an athlete, not that athletes have not been in horrible situations,

but I've had a lot of male doctor physical stuff.

And sometimes they're really fucking good at massage.

I don't mind an ugly old dude.

Once I had a hot guy massage me, it was a full date.

The whole thing in my head was a date.

He was like, this is boring.

Because after I'd be like,

okay, so are you going to ask for my number?

Because I just let you touch me.

The whole thing was, and not in a fun way. I wasn't relaxed.

We're fully on a first date.

Actually, it's funny because me and Craig

got massages the other day

in my apartment. You can do it on an app

and have someone come over. And he was like, okay, do you want a girl or a guy? And I was like, what? Obviously a girl.
And he was like, okay, I don't know. Does he care about girl or a guy? He gets a girl.
Because I think guys feel like, okay, you're not going to touch me. But that's how I feel too.
I'm like, okay, you're not going to touch me. I want to see the guy first.
And honestly, the uglier the better. If he's hot, we're not fucking doing this.
I literally was like, he was like massaging my something and I was like sucking in. I was like.
No, I need to fully like suss the situation out. Yeah.
You know where I do sometimes enjoy a man? Where? At the nail salon. I'm not afraid to have a man do my nails.
Sometimes I feel like they're very good. I like when they do my feet because it makes me feel powerful.
That's actually a great... I'm like, yeah, rub my feet.
Yeah. I like when they rub my feet.
But I'm not afraid of... Because I'm looking down onto them.
Yeah. We're not afraid of some men in the workplace.
Are we dominatrix and we just don't know it?

No, because I think that would also give us the egg.

Why do you have a ball in your mouth?

Like, what are we doing here?

Anyway, when I go to a bodega.

Yeah.

Oh, we're back to the drink.

I forgot.

I don't like sparkling stuff.

Just putting that out there.

I think it's aggressive.

I think it's, like, TV static in your mouth. I don't want bubbles.
But you like carbonate, you're drinking a carbonated drink. Yeah, because there's nothing else in the fridge right now and I'm not happy about it.
I'm doing it against my will. I guess I've never really noticed like that you never go for like a lacroix.
Whoa. You just had a stroke.
I just had a stroke. A lacroix.
Like you never go for like a sparkling water ever. Interesting.
No, I don't want sparkling water. I think it's so aggressive.
It's in your face. It's like, just relax.
So I love a juice, but you can't do full juice because that's like insane. You love a watered down juice.
So I need a watered down juice. So then we have to get creative.
And you like a watered down juice because when you were younger, your mom used to water down your juice and that's the way you like it. Because I was like, if you gave me full apple juice, bitch was wildin'.
I was like, let's fucking party. Definitely wasn't wearing her matching hat, throwing it in the fucking dirt.
She's like, that's it, no more juice for Hannah. She's on the juice again.
Like your first grade teacher being like, Hannah's on the juice again. No, my mom would get mad.

Anyway, so this is going to be a little crazy.

I fuck with an aloe vera drink.

Interesting.

No, this is the thing about aloe vera drinks.

Don't get the pineapple.

It's way too sweet.

Okay.

Get the plain.

Sometimes the mango.

It will be a little sweet.

Get some water on the side just in case you need water it down.

I don't think I've ever had an aloe vera drink.

This is the craziest thing about aloe vera drinks. There's chunks of aloe in it.
Like a bubble tea? No. Like chunks of something.
Do you bite it? Or do they just swallow? You can swallow. You can chew.
Is it good for you? Like what are the... This thing, in theory, aloe vera sounds good for you.
Yeah. Somehow, I think by the time it gets into the form that it is in the bodega, I can't say that it's good for you.
Okay. But it's not bad for you.
Thank you for being so honest. It's not bad for you.
Okay. It's better than drinking, like, a soda.
Yeah. It's better than getting your diet Dr.
Pepper. Yeah.
Now, this never happens, but on my rider, when I'm..., I get white Gatorade zero. You come up with the most random things.
It's actually not random. There's a method to my madness.
I want Gatorade, but I can't be drinking full Gatorades all the time because that's liquid cocaine. So I get Gatorade zero because I want to drink a lot of them.
I'm putting them down. Then you can't get a colored one because then your lips and your tongue will be colored.
so I get Gatorade zero because I want to drink a lot of them. Like I'm putting them down.
Yeah. Then you can't get

a colored one

because then your lips

and your tongue

will be colored.

So I get the white one

and I will go through

like four Gatorades.

And you don't water that down.

You drink those straight.

Straight.

Straight up.

Crispy cold.

On the rocks?

On the rocks.

Fuck my shit up.

We keep getting in a fight

because then I also

I love an iced tea

I like a diet snapple

I feel like you love

Like an Arnold Palmer

We love St. James

Yes we love a St. James

We love St. James

We love

Liquid Death

Has an iced tea too

That's good

Okay

So I like that vibe

When I was in Europe

Yep

I was like can I have an iced tea

In like

In Ireland actually

Did they know it?

And they were like no

So then I had to order apple juice

Like a little kid

I love in Europe? Yeah. I was like, can I have an iced tea? In Ireland, actually.
Did they know? And they were like, no. So then I had to order apple juice like a little kid.
I love in Europe when they will straight up say no to you. Like restaurants in New York.
Like I've been in restaurants in New York where you ask for something and they're like, oh, let me check if we have that. And then they'll send someone to the store and like get it.
What restaurants are you going to? I don't know. I think that's happened once or twice.
But, like, there's something about in Europe. Literally at my mom's house.
My dad was like, I'll go get it. No, in Europe they'll just be like, no, bitch.
And Des kept laughing because every restaurant I'd be like, can I have iced tea? And he's like, how many times are you going to ask? And I'm like, well, I'm going to try. Like, the one place ran out.
Yeah. They don't like know what it is or they just don't like carry it.
They don't do it. And then like we could kind of make it.
And once they get confused, I'm like, no, because then I don't want them to try to do it. And Europe doesn't do ice.
They're not that into ice. And they're not that into air conditioning.
I know. And I don't know what it is.
And I don't know if it's because like we're spoiled, we know what it feels like, and they don't know what it feels like. Or if they're just actively, like, we don't want to.
This is the thing. They've had infrastructure for hundreds more years.
Where did they miss that part of it? My friend Gianmarco Cerece, he's a comedian, had a funny tweet where he was like, do I want to go to Europe and experience like all these cultures and all these things or do I want air conditioning? And a Diet Coke and a fucking glass of ice. Also, I do have to say Apple is out to get everyone because the second you land in Europe, there's no way to charge anything.
Like you're, you're scared. I don't know why collectively we couldn't have just had all the same plugs.
What are you guys talking at UN meetings? Because if this is not top of the jacket, I don't know. Like, we need to get someone else in here because this is a real problem.
I want good vibes, and I want everyone to have the same charger. Yeah, and it's like, how many? I don't get the voltage.
Like, oh, can't go above this voltage. Need an adapter.
Nope, need a converter. You also can't blow dry your hair in the bathroom in Europe.

Anywhere.

You can't do it anywhere.

Well, then they started putting these USB ports, but then Apple decides, let's stop using USB.

Yeah, and they're like, actually, we're going to change it to USB-C.

Like, I've never had more cords that don't work just sitting there.

And then when you're trying to order it, like, I don't understand what a UBCT fuck you is.

I don't know what that is.

I'll strangle myself with the courts.

I'll freaking lose that.

So anyway.

But I had a lot of fun.

Good.

It was a blast.

It was a blast.

And I'll go back next year.

Other drinks I like to get.

A Hint water if I'm feeling really healthy.

So you don't gravitate towards a soda. You gravitate more towards.
I do not want carbon energy touching my fucking tongue. See, like, I love a poppy.
I love, like, uh, I love a soda. But, like, when you're thirsty.
Yeah, like, I'll chug a sparkling water. I don't give a fuck.
Because you want to know what? Maybe I am into BDSM because I love that fucking burn. Like if I'm really thirsty and I chug like a Pellegrino water, I love the way it tingles.
Wait, that is so funny. That's two types of girls.
If you like to chug sparkling water, you like to get choked. And that's a stat.
See, literally me, I will take a sip and I go, ow, ow, ow, ow. And that's gotta be a stat.
We're all, chug it, let it burn, and then I'll be like, Craig, choke me. See, that's the thing.
I am, like, dealing with enough demons in my head, I don't want to also fight my drink, like, for my life, you know? See, I don't know what it is. I'm, like, always really thirsty.
Like Like I need a water at all times. Yeah.
Like I'm always dehydrated, always need to chug something. Well, I'm trying to drink more water.
Not really. Not really at all.
Anyway. Anywho, I do have to say I was editingiting Yes And how is it going?

It's going well It's due

Wednesday

Oh my god

So

We're doing it

No that's so exciting

It's exciting

So crazy

It's craziness

It's happening

We have to throw a party

We have to throw a party

It's like so many things to do

What do you think about JLo canceling her tour?

Well apparently

Apparently

There were low

Like how we're whispering

Like she won't hear us

Yeah I don't

Shh

She's my friend, so. I was wondering if she heard us say all that nice stuff about Jennifer Garner, which I obviously don't take back because I love her so much.
I think she's fine with Jennifer. Hi, Jennifer.
We know you this and we love you. We're obsessed with you.
Hi, Jenny. JLo, I think she had low ticket sales or something.
And you know what? The thing with low ticket sales, it's if she had picked smaller venues, sometimes you just like pick two big venues. I think maybe she could take like a sabbatical, maybe like go to Europe and do like a full retreat for a couple months and just chill out and then come back in a couple years and do a massive tour.
Yeah. Love it.
It was interesting because it said she canceled the tour to spend more time with her family and she's heartbroken. That was exactly what it said.
I was like, wait. I was her daughter.
I'm like, fuck you. Are you heartbroken that you've spent time with your family? It really read very weird like that.
Yeah. Because you should be like, yeah, I'm upset.
I can't do the tour, but I'm so happy to be spending it with my family. Well, speaking of tours, we have ours coming up.
We have ours coming up. So if you haven't gotten tickets, please do so.
Oh, yeah, get tickets. We added a bunch of shows.
We added a bunch of second shows. We added one today.

We're just going to Easter egg our way through.

Easter egg our way through.

Everyone,

keep Grace in your prayers.

Yes.

We love you, Grace.

We missed you.

We can't do it without you.

We can't do this without you.

Please get back to.

And we'll gig with you guys later.

Bye.

Thanks for gigging.

Bye.

Bye.

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