Guys: Episode 131 -Motorcycle Guys with Dan Lippert

Vroom vroom, welcome to guys, a podcast about guys.

I am your host, Brian, and in my sidecar, Chris James.

Hi, Chris.

I thought that would be insulting to you.

That I would be in the sidecar.

Hey, look at that.

Yeah, I know in my sidecar.

You know what I say?

Better in the sidecar than in the trunk while everybody else drives in the car.

That's a reference, by the way.

Our guest doesn't know.

Brian claimed to be the leader of his gang when he was younger.

First of all, not a gang.

And said that I was jockeying for position of leader with another guy.

Our guest doesn't.

And then it turns out that he's like, he would ride in the trunk when they had to go somewhere.

And just every single detail flies in the face of him having any leadership qualities whatsoever tons of them and our guest this week is dan lippard hi dan hey guys

i

wow i could have been a member of a gang fine i make a great leader uh fashion wise You know what I mean?

Like everybody kind of needed my help getting dressed, wearing like cool clothes and stuff like that.

And music.

I found all the music.

Here's the stylist.

Definitely interesting to lead from behind.

Hop in the trunk, let them know.

Well, the trunk thing was one time, and it was because we had to get out of a place really quick and there wasn't enough room in the car.

Yeah, but there was enough room in the car for other guys.

Anyways, it doesn't, it doesn't really matter.

It doesn't really matter.

This week we're doing motorcycle guys.

Now.

I originally was going to do Harley, guys.

So there is like a lot of Harley content here.

But I found a guy

that I absolutely want to use on the show.

Yeah, you texted me about this guy this morning.

That's when I know it's like you're really excited when you send me a text.

Uh,

yeah, I think he's a British guy, um,

and uh, he he went on a ride with his friends.

He, uh, I want to start by getting this guy running because it's gonna, uh, Dan, I have a question for you just while he sort of fiddles around on the computer.

Have you ever,

have you ever uh rode a motorcycle before?

Not in my memory.

I had a,

I would call him relatively estranged half-brother who was significantly older from my dad's marriage, and he was a Harley guy.

And I think

before I can remember, he took me on the Harley once, and my mom got really mad.

Oh, yeah, because you were a baby.

You were an actual baby.

Three or four, yeah.

And it's known to be dangerous even for adults.

So I would imagine for babies, even more dangerous.

Yeah.

My dad had one for a period of time, and I don't,

I vaguely remember being

either right before kindergarten or in kindergarten.

He put me on the back and drove me around a little bit.

And then I also had a friend named Sean who was very into motorcycles.

He even like drag raced motorcycles.

Like he had like this.

And I went for a ride with him one time too, once or twice.

Like you rode it like

you held onto his body or whatever.

You have to do that, but we we did it in a very like

hands-on-the-sides way.

I'd imagine you guys were extremely homophobic at the time, right?

So you were probably making sure that everybody knew that this was not.

And this was porno, Sean, we're talking about?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I actually went looking.

I found out he's won a few drag racing competitions recently.

You called him porno, Sean.

I thought you were going to say a few Avian awards.

That would have been

that's how he was hoping.

That was how he was hoping his life was going to turn out dead.

Yeah, he started a porno, like he was

gathering pornos as a young man to try to start a porno shop, or so he said.

So that was

in an underserved area.

Yeah, he was

like an entrepreneur.

He was an entrepreneur.

Yeah.

So let's check this guy out.

We'll just get him started here.

He is a British guy.

So the first video is like with me mates

driving from France to Spain.

Yeah.

And then the second video is I won't tour with friends again,

part two of two.

And this guy, what I'll just start him out here.

Well, it's all gone.

Oh, shit.

Oh no,

that's got Beagle Best Ways to Put

on the border of Spain.

No, oh, we are miles from home.

I think it's probably about a thousand miles from home.

and

while we're

getting something to eat last night

the boys that I'm touring with dropped the bombshell

that

they don't fancy

riding home in two days.

They want it to last longer.

And

they want it to take longer.

And I can't afford that because I've got commitments.

I've got work commitments.

I've got childcare commitments.

So that's just not an option for me.

I've got to be back in two days.

So this is this is a nightmare.

So this is like a motorcycle guy's worst nightmare because like the whole idea.

You get to ride it everywhere.

Yeah, and being a motorcycle guy, the whole thing about it, I'm not a motorcycle guy, but I understand the whole thing is like you're out in the freedom of it, right?

You got the wind blowing in your face and you're just out on the open road, no worries.

You're sort of a rolling stone.

And this guy, in the middle of all of that, he gets brought right back down to reality, saying like, oh, I actually am not free at all.

I have all of these responsibilities that I now can't go on this trip.

This is,

by the way, to pose right now, he's standing in front of his bike with his, with his hands on his hips looking at the camera.

And it's a really funny image.

He is really not happy.

And like, that's the thing, right?

So the other guys are living that real born-free lifestyle.

You know what I mean?

They were like, oh,

we actually wouldn't mind just keeping driving our motorcycles.

Yeah, and you're, and you're, and they're bikers.

They're like, listen, I don't know what the, probably a lot of them are retired.

He looks like he's a bit older.

So maybe a lot of them are retired from work, perhaps, or they have like different kinds of jobs because I don't know.

I don't think they're, unless you're like an outlaw motorcycle guy, you do have to be able to earn money somehow.

So, I guess maybe they're like these guys who are just out on the open road all the time.

How do they do that?

I'm a little shocked that this biker gang doesn't have a more thorough email chain where they kind of sort these plans out before they hit the road.

Well, see, that's the thing, though, is they probably got the emails going, but then a couple of those guys, they felt the wind, you know, and they're like,

I don't really want to go back to my wife and child or whatever is back there.

I just want to go back.

I mean, maybe nothing's back there.

Maybe they're like me.

I don't have to get home anytime.

My daughter's 20.

If I was out on the open road, I could keep going if I wanted to.

I'd have my old lady with me.

That's what motorcycle guys call their wife.

Yeah, if you have your old lady with you, then of course you can just ride it out.

But

if your old lady wasn't with you, you would have to go home to see her, obviously.

Before we go back to this guy, let's learn a little bit from from r slash harley uh this guy goes starting to feel like harley culture and group rides are overrated so this mixes perfectly with this guy uh just wanted to share some thoughts that have been building up after years in this scene i've been riding for a while i'm actually part of a motorcycle club and have done plenty of group rides bike nights and meetups lately though i've been losing interest in the whole scene and i'm starting to think a lot is of it is more toxic and overhyped than people want to admit.

Now, I want to

quickly say: Sounds like someone got made fun of at the biker meeting.

That's such a classic.

Like, you know, these guys are actually super toxic.

They made them feel bad about something.

Too many pads.

They don't like it, they make fun of you.

You come in with too many pads.

They're on your ass.

You're showing up to the biker thing with full pads.

And they're so that also

he'll say a little more, but he goes

too many people treating meetups like a vibe check.

You roll in, and instead of good energy or mutual respect, it's all side eyes and quiet judgment.

Like everyone's on dish.

I'm actually right here, I think.

Like I was kind of joking, but it does seem like he went in there and he was just, people are sort of like, who the fuck is this guy?

Like, for whatever reason.

I don't know if he's wearing something stupid, if he looks stupid, but it sounds like people are judging him heavily when he went in there.

He pulled up in his dork bike?

Like, it's just a bike for dorks that's like, well known.

He's like, they're all side-eyeing me.

I'm driving this bike.

It's just a Vespa.

Yeah.

Oh, believe me.

A little later on, we're going to talk a lot about the difference between a scooter and a motorcycle.

I mean,

I was driving my Vespa and I had my oversized full-face helmet on the whole time.

I'm not really sure what the issue was.

It's not about the ride anymore.

It's about who looks the hardest, who's wearing what patch, whose bike is the fastest, and who's got the loudest pipes in the lot.

Okay, one of those doesn't, I feel like, isn't really in.

Because one of them, who's, what patch do you have?

So now are we talking about biker gangs?

No.

Because that's a, is that a different type of patch I'm talking about?

Because I know in motorcycle terms, to say somebody is a full patch member is like the way of referring to somebody having the patch on the back.

They actually have that.

It's like it's significant of something.

But this is like just the ones that you put on yourself.

Well, okay.

I'll tell you what I've came to understand.

There are motorcycle clubs that are called the One Percenters.

Yeah, those are the gangs.

They are not registered with the American Motorcycle Association.

But there are also motorcycle clubs that are registered with the

American Motorcycle Association.

They're not outlaws.

They just, you know, they put a patch on.

They drive around.

There's a difference.

And now I can't remember.

People who are listening probably know there is a difference.

Like, there's like a bottom rocker.

There's something that signifies.

Three-piece back.

Is a one percenter, right?

Is three-piece back.

Yeah, it has three pieces on the back.

Which is so stupid.

Yeah, it really is.

It's really funny.

I mean, hey, we don't want to be making fun of the Hells Angels

heavily on the.

Okay.

But yeah, it is kind of a silly thing, you know.

And they even have it, like you get the one patch, and then you have to, like, you're a hangaround, and then you become an associate, you get the second patch, and then you become a full patch member, and you get the third patch.

So, it really is like a kind of a club house, a kids' club house thing.

A group, right?

Oh, go ahead, Dan.

Oh, I was just gonna say, you wanted to make fun of the Hells Angels as well?

No, I just wanted to come out firmly neutral on the Hells Angels and any biker gangs that roll through the California area.

Oh, yeah.

There's a lot there.

Yeah, the Hells Angels are very active.

And they're also very active where I live in Vancouver.

I don't know if they're super active where Brian is.

I'd love to see him come and get me.

What an idiot.

It's what a dumb thing to say.

I mean, obviously they're not going to, you know what I mean?

I know, but it still is like, it still seems dumb to some Hell's Angel is in his clubhouse.

They're listening to guys, and he is like, I'm getting that, son of a bitch.

Well, see, the concept of them just being a guy's listener, a Hells Angels member, that's kind of silly to me.

But the idea of them scouring the internet looking for podcast episodes, discussing motorcycle guys, and finding this episode, that actually could happen, I feel like.

That's not going to happen.

There was a biker house where I grew up.

I know it's not going to happen.

There was like a biker house where I grew up, right?

Yeah.

And I used to always tell my friends, why don't we go there?

Okay.

What do you like?

In what context?

Because I figured there were drugs there, and I thought, like, to get drugs, to get drugs.

It's a party with them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they're like,

you just, you're not supposed to do.

Like, they always had to explain to me, like, you can't just go knocking on the door of the motorcycle house.

That's another check in the box of great leadership on your end there.

People have to explain to you why your ideas are wrong every time.

You know, I was on board before you're suggesting.

Yeah, that's the mark of a leader.

I wanted to go there so bad.

I wanted to go to that motorcycle house so bad.

How old were you?

Yeah.

16, 17.

And what would you admit, like, what was your style at the time?

Oh, his name was Cueber.

He literally

went by the name Queber, and he was like, I mean, these guys were huffing gas.

They were like full-on, like, drug, like,

like, they would assault people randomly on the street.

They didn't assault anybody.

He grew up in a place called Grove Fort, Ohio.

And

his stories, it just sounds like, I mean, he was an absolute fucking nuisance.

I think we were a menace.

I will say that.

I always say there was this one guy, Nate, who is a friend of ours, right?

And he was like, asked his mom, I'm going to go hang out

at Brian's.

She's like, where are you?

She's probably said Queber.

Well, he said Brian to his mom, okay?

Some people's moms called me Queber.

Yeah, a lot of the moms called him Queber.

And he said, we're going to go

over there to Brian's house.

And she said, where's that at?

He's like, right by Asbury Elementary.

And she's like, well, there's a ton of crime over there.

You need to be careful.

And I never thought about it until I got a little older and was like, oh, where are the crime?

That was then.

That's why I, because I was like, there's no crime over here.

Yeah, that's zero crime.

Yeah, the crime statistics were picking up.

Brian and his friends.

They were making an impact on the statistical crime.

People knew that that side of the neighborhood was supposedly dangerous.

Again, I never found it to be very dangerous, you know, for you, but for people around you.

Because, yeah, the people who anybody who dared cross you or your friends has a different story.

Cueber and the boys.

Me, me and the boys,

Aaron and the boys, Dan.

Dan, Aaron and the boys, just to be clear, because Aaron is the real leader.

He actually went, I'm not even making this up.

He went to race car school and drove a hot rod.

That's stupid stupid to go to race car school.

I didn't even get this guy.

Group rides.

Honestly, I'm over it.

Riding in a big pack looks cool, but it's not worth the risk when you don't know if everyone has the skills to ride safe.

One person panic breaks, fixates, or rides outside their limits, and suddenly it's a dangerous situation for everyone.

I guess that does not sound like a biker to me.

Yeah, that doesn't sound like a super kind of biker mentality.

Just be like, yeah, sure, it's fun to ride in the group, but what happens if somebody takes a spill?

And we're all in trouble.

I'm not saying all clubs or group rides are bad.

There are some solid riders in the group, good people in the mix, but lately it feels like there's too much ego and not enough of what riding is supposed to be about.

Freedom, peace of mind, and just enjoying the road.

Yep.

So

he's like, anybody else feeling this shift?

And a guy goes, not sure if Harley specific, but not sure if the game has changed much.

I've only been riding a little over five years.

Okay, then what are you talking to us about?

Yeah, you're not.

In fairness, though, it's like he just wants to talk about Harley stuff.

He's on the forum.

He wants to get involved in conversations and stuff like that.

So those are the best replies where it's just like, I'm not really sure.

I don't know.

But every bike night that I'm begrudgingly convinced by a friend to go to, I come home and tell the wife, it was a bunch of dudes eating hot dogs and mean mugging each other in sunglasses.

That sounds pretty cool.

Just me, just everyone.

I do love the picturing every single guy is eating a hot dog, and they're all just fucking, nobody's talking.

They're all just staring at each other, looking each other up and down.

Looking hard, like with their sunglasses and all the leather stuff on, like the chaps and the yeah, like

the vest.

Yeah, they always have the vest.

The vest is a big thing if you're in a motorcycle club, of course.

Uh, this guy goes, same thing.

I joined Hog, I don't know what H-O-G-G is, and went on a three-day ride with about 30 others.

Everybody but me was dressed in black leather, chaps, fingerless gloves, etc.

Took an hour to fuel up, nobody could decide where to eat, annoying as fuck.

You know,

what are you doing?

It sounds badass.

Badass.

I got to get in this community.

It sounds like a fucking really cool bunch of guys.

Just bickering about where to eat.

We did ramen last night.

The morning after the first day, it was 90 degrees.

All these guys are sweating their asses off on all the leather gear.

I came out with a t-shirt, jeans, and sparry boat shoes.

The ride captain looked at me with disdain and said, Where's your gear?

Look, I look at him and I said, When my mother dies, you can have the job.

Until then, go fuck yourself.

That's actually cool.

Like, I don't know.

He's probably pretty old, too.

He calls him a leader.

It just feels like that.

That guy will be able to get the job as his mother sooner rather than later.

You know, like if his mom's elderly, it just seems like I would say, like, I would just say, you're never going to be have the job of my mother.

Well, I would say I wouldn't put up with that shit, you know what I mean?

I would be like, No, you don't talk to me like that.

I'm the leader of this motorcycle gang.

Hey, don't you talk to me that way?

That's what I, that's what I would tell them.

Guy in sparries is funny, though.

Like, guy walks out, he's with all these motorcycle guys, walks out of the hotel, and sparries a t-shirt and jeans, and just every eye turns towards him.

Like, what, what the fuck is is this?

You're making us all look bad.

Was this like a Cape Cod bike gang?

He goes,

he goes, jumped on my bike and left the group and quit hog when I got home.

Been riding for 40 years with probably 300,000 miles under my belt.

Don't need someone to be knob patronizing me.

First reply is, I think it's nice they were concerned about your safety.

No need to throw that in their face.

Yeah.

You've been riding for 40 years.

You've been riding for 40 years.

You don't understand the importance of wearing leather.

It's not, you think it's just a stylistic choice?

It's like, yeah.

These gangs are so impossible.

I keep trying to stop at J.

Crew every outlet along the way.

It's not cool.

There's malls all the way.

Nobody wants to stop at the mall.

Maybe two or three guys, but then you're there three hours.

One guy's just stuck in the food court.

One guy gets a massage.

It's not worth it.

One guy's trying on pants at Lululemon.

No mad at the guy.

God damn it.

All the big bikers coming and trying to get him out of Lululemon.

Come on, man.

I just love the idea of, yeah, just this huge amount of these huge, gigantic, bearded biker guys who are just like constantly having their members like sort of break off and then having to wrangle a bit.

This guy has said something pretty wild to him.

He goes, I've been riding since 96.

I'm an attorney and a former EMT.

If literally anything happens and you go down, you will severely regret your failure to prepare.

Your cavalier attitude will be your downfall.

I see it all the time.

I'm assuming you're not married, probably divorced a few times.

Oh, that is.

Does he say divorced a few times or you threw that in there?

I swear.

He says, I'm assuming you are not married, probably divorced a few times.

Whew, because listen, he was obviously confronting the guy and being a bit confrontational, but right at the end there, he throws a real left hook at him.

I like the line, your cavalier attitude will be your downfall.

Yeah, he's right, though.

I mean, listen, you can't be riding a motorcycle in jeans and a t-shirt, I feel like.

I think it's if you're if you're doing like a long ride like that, I wonder about helmets.

Do we get into that at all, how these guys feel about helmets?

I mean, we, yes, there is a helmet section here.

He goes, this guy goes, figures, you're an ambulance chaser and a newer rider.

Your snide comments won't get you anywhere.

I've been riding 20 years longer than you, probably before you were born.

He's an ambulance chaser, an ambulance driver and an ambulance chaser.

You don't see that.

Well, he is attorneys.

He's playing it from the inside and the outside.

Yeah,

that's kind of cool.

He's like, yeah.

I wonder if that had to do with the fact that he's just like driving the ambulance and he's just like, geez, I could chase these down, you know?

I know every move.

Yeah, I know what I know the routes they take.

I mean, it's yeah.

I mean, this TV says, Let's get this guy's rights because this is sold in the room.

And then, but also a key thing that this guy didn't mention is he, the guy says, I've been riding since 1996.

And the guy responds, oh, you're a newer rider.

Yeah,

a classic old guy who's like, because that happens when you get really old, I think, is like 1996 does still seem like it's recent to you.

Yeah.

Like, relatively speaking.

Here's another guy.

I'm not a fan of group rides or riding with even a few people I don't know.

My peeve is the people I've rode with lately only want to ride 20 minutes to the next restaurant or bar and sit for an hour.

Okay, so you're saying they're using their bikes as transportation to go to places they want to go.

That's, yeah, that's, that doesn't, that's a different thing, I think.

I have, it is so amazing that all these guys chose something

that is kind of associated with like being a lone wolf, but also kind of associated with community.

And they are feeling the push and pull of both of those things constantly.

They're clearly men who cannot handle other people's needs.

Yeah.

So they got a motorcycle, but then they got lonely.

Yep.

That's so true.

It really is.

It really is something where it's like, yeah,

it really instills this idea of like, yeah, being on the open road yourself.

You know, you don't need anybody else.

You can just pack stuff on and go.

But you don't see a lot of them riding around solo.

No, they're riding around with their buddies.

He goes, one of them, the only people I can get to riding is the guy that always has an agenda.

There's always a quote stop that's going to eat up one or two hours.

So

a guy goes, goes, uh, Harley Davidson makes nice motorcycles, but they attract cosplayers like moths to a flame.

I refuse to dress like a pirate and avoid legit safety gear.

The whole, quote, biker culture is teenage fantasy, and I feel bad for those that make it their identity.

Um,

so yeah, been pretty much a loner most of my life, had a few scrapes, but I can still keep my knees in the breeze and runs the back roads.

A pack ride to me is myself or three or four brothers out for a nice putt around the area, but that's about it.

So that is a psycho Rob.

Oh, psycho Rob.

Let's check in with this guy.

Melee?

I said, I'm going to have to leave.

I'm going to have to go on my own then.

And then a couple of them said, well, no, I'm not going to let you go on your own.

We'll come with you.

We'll, you know, we'll do it.

We'll pick it up.

That's nice.

Okay, there it is.

There it is.

You know, really, if it's not what you want, don't bother.

I'll be fine.

No, no, don't worry about me.

I'll be up.

I'll be alive.

Well,

wait till this next line is so good.

Sorry, sorry.

They wanted to come.

Hold on, I gotta go back because I love this.

All that stuff.

But they were pretty insistent they want me to come.

So we had something to eat.

I went to the cash machine to get some more money out.

And as I come back, we rode back to the place where we're staying.

This place.

now.

As I got back in and I'm sitting down, I'm thinking, right, and we're off to have an early night, we're gonna have to set off early.

All I could hear was all of them planning a trip where they were leaving here and going across France the opposite direction, going into Germany and going.

So, this is like you tell me he's extinguishing sleep

and he can't sleep because

they're planning their trip without him too loudly in the next room.

Which is such a funny concept.

Talking about like all the exciting stuff they're going to see.

Well, it's funny because this is a perfect guy thing to be like, no, no, don't worry about it.

If you don't want to ride home with me, then fine.

You know what I mean?

And then like they're planning their next ride.

And he's like, well, I meant that I did want you to ride home with me.

Yeah.

I didn't want to be left out.

It really hurt his feelings.

Yeah.

It does.

Believe me, this is a 37-minute video, and he's talking as he's driving home.

It's through the whole thing.

It's obviously like, it's horrible to feel like, you know, you want to feel included and stuff like this.

But it's like, oh, no, you're an adult.

You understand.

Hey,

they've decided to go a little longer and you can't.

That's just like, that's the way that it is.

But yeah, you want to, yeah, like, this must, this must be a bad feeling for him.

I'm sure it's triggering something from like his childhood or something.

That's not taking shorter days, that's doing a longer journey and getting more countries in, all that stuff.

So, basically, long and short of it is

I'm going up France.

All of them as a group are going across France.

I am going to

get going really.

I've got a long day ahead of me.

I've got to make my way back to the ferry.

So, yeah, I will be doing a lot of moaning.

And as it put me off touring with groups again,

I've not made my mind up on that.

I'm going to see how today goes.

But at the minute, yeah, I am a little bit pissed off, really.

Yeah.

But yeah, it's turned into a solo show.

Let's turn into a solo show.

show.

He posted this

in a subreddit and people were like, I've never seen so much whining in my entire career.

Well, it's 37 minutes long.

He's just going to be whinging the whole time.

That's another term they use in England for that whinging.

All right.

I told Dan about this before you got on here, Chris.

I do need to share something.

Real quick, not the whiny guy, which I will come back to later.

Guy goes, first bike,

pissed off the wife a good deal.

That's sweet.

That's always good.

That's what you want to do.

So let's read some.

These are the most, Chris, these are the most.

They do not put up with wives in the motorcycling community.

You know that old saying, unhappy wife, happy life.

First guy goes, it's got a backrest.

What's she complaining about?

Oh, my God.

Yeah, a lot of our guys, Dan, that we cover, they will have like an issue where their wife will be like upset about either how much money or time they are spending on their thing.

And it's a, yeah, as you can imagine, it's like a huge thing.

If you don't have that much money and then your husband's like out there buying a bunch of guitars or whatever, and then they're on these forums, just like, can you believe my wife's giving it to me again?

And it's like, so I guess we're not going to be redoing the garage door anytime soon, are we?

No, but I got this new telecaster, you know?

And it's funny because this might be the most expensive hobby we've ever covered.

I can't think of anything that we've covered that's more expensive than motorcycles.

I mean, I think, I guess, if you're buying a bunch of them, but most of them aren't collecting motorcycles.

I'm trying to think of the most expensive one.

I mean, collecting guitars is Jeeps, I guess.

But collecting guitar, like again, people don't collect Jeeps, really, I don't think.

So I don't know.

What is like

you're getting a motorcycle, you're hoping to join a club, what are you p spending, like $100,000?

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right, because the initial cost is huge if you want to buy like a new motorcycle.

I guess if you get a used one.

It's like $30,000.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you could probably get one for a used one or something, you know, for $10,000 or $15,000 that would, you know, a starter bike.

I wouldn't buy an old bike out of here, man.

You got to get a new one, baby.

Okay.

Yeah, you're right.

You're just joining.

You're just starting this new thing.

You want to really jump in forward.

You got to get the best bike.

You got to get the best.

You got to get the best skis and all that.

Yeah.

I feel like, yeah, you've spent 30.

And then what else?

You got to get the gear.

There's going to be other gear.

I would say you're going to probably drop, if you're buying a new bike, probably 50 grand.

Wow.

Yeah.

And he gives you a little more information.

He goes, we're supposed to do the motorcycle safety course and get a new bike each, but she kept postponing it for the last three years.

A man has his limits.

And then guy responds and goes, I'm at two years of waiting to get a new,

a new new-to-me bike.

Might have to do the same soon.

Gets a reply that goes, damn, me and the girlfriend had the same plan.

She wasn't ready for the course.

I waited two days and went and do it myself.

I'm impressed y'all had that much patience.

So he just went for it.

He knew that it was.

I guess I'm not really understanding exactly what those guys are talking about.

Buying a bike and whether or not their wife will allow them to, basically.

Well, coming home with a new motorcycle.

A new to you.

So that guy is talking about buying a used one.

But any motorcycle coming home with it without consulting the person that you share your finances.

Completely insane.

Completely insane.

Unless you're like, I guess, a super rich, like, you know, like if you're so rich, I guess.

But if you're just a normal person like any of us and you're like, come home with a motorcycle, I think your wife is like okay to be like, hey, maybe we should have talked about this purchase.

For some reason, she's dragging her feet on the training courses, and I will not ask her why.

I simply won't ask her why.

I just hate her, and that's it.

Communication could fix a lot of the stuff, but there's a lot of these, I feel like, yeah, they don't.

I don't know.

It feels like a lot of them don't talk to their wives at all.

Well, here's a good one.

You guys are going to crack up.

Both, we're all, you know, in the comedy world.

so this guy well really goes i don't know if that's really i'm in it i mean i listen i used to tread the boards and do the i used to do the written word i used to do the stand do stand-up the pre-prepared stuff dan is obviously a very good improviser up there on stage but brian it's a little different goofball right yeah but you haven't been you haven't been up there on the boards is the difference i have Okay, well, this guy goes, this is so funny.

You guys are going to love this.

Is she still pissed?

Get a blanket and tie it around her collar.

When she asks you what you're doing, ask if she is still pissed.

When she inevitably gives you an answer, because you already know she's pissed, tell her, well, now you are super pissed.

What?

Oh, because she's wearing a cape.

Oh.

Just trying to

grabbing your wife by the neck and trying to force a blanket around her neck, like tying it around her.

Just trust me on this.

Trust me.

She's like, stop, please, stop.

What are you doing?

Stop fiddling with it.

Stop fiddling with it.

Let me finish my question.

The payoff is immense.

The payoff is immense.

He's just getting excited to say it.

And then she'll be like, ah, okay.

You got me.

That's funny.

This guy goes, they are never happy.

Women?

Is he talking about women?

Yeah, wives.

It's like a wife's, you know?

Yeah.

And then a guy responds and goes, same.

This is so guys-coded.

Same.

25 years ago, but now she loves to go for rides and the vibrations work in my favor, if you know what I mean.

I do know what you mean.

I know exactly what you mean.

You're speaking my language.

You're talking about her getting horny, no doubt.

Yeah,

that is cool, though.

That's like a cool to like, he's like looking back, like, oh, like, I was once you.

That's like a classic, like, I've been in your, trust me, it gets better for guys like that.

Let me school you on the ways of female pleasure.

Maybe that way you'll get some enjoyment in your marriage, sir.

It reminds me of like I'm trying to think of exactly, but it's like a tone of like in middle school and high school, the way like, I don't know where these jokes came from, but it's in the same zone of like kids would tell dead baby jokes or like Helen Keller jokes or like wife jokes like this, where it's like, I don't know where these came from, but I think we stopped around around 16 or 17.

Some of us did, some of us did, some of us did.

Dan, we discovered online that a lot of people are still at it.

Just right there.

Oh, yeah, because a lot of people, like, you probably think that the website, the Chive, is defunct, but no, it's going strong.

We cover it regularly.

There's people.

I haven't seen like 30 people at an airport with a Chive t-shirt in a while, so I figured it was done.

Oh, yeah.

I guess you haven't, I guess you haven't been to the airport when one of our live shows was in CAD.

Dan, it's really funny.

It reminded me of like my some of my, like any one of my friends had a girlfriend, right?

And we would be like, hey, we're going to go out and party.

And if they said like, no, I'm hanging with my girlfriend, it was just constant

of

stuff like that, making jokes about the old ball and chain.

Oh, yeah.

So whipped.

Like, like, I remember, I remember having, like, not just making fun of them and like, oh, whoops, but I I remember having serious discussions about it.

Like,

he's actually super whipped, you know, like being like concerned for him, you know?

It was like, obviously, just such jealousy.

It was like such reason.

Did you put on Saving Silverman and just figure this out?

It's funny because

the reason

you're saying that, but it really is like they're, they're having sex.

That's why they're always hanging out with their girlfriend.

Yes, they're having sex or, yeah, in some cases, doing other sexual stuff for long periods of time.

But yeah, they're definitely hooking up with people.

And that's at that age.

I think that's number one on your bingo card.

And if you can get that in any given night, it's going to take precedent over, you know, huffing gas and throwing rocks at the windows.

This guy used to, this guy,

I was at the pool hall one night, and these girls that I knew from school were like, hey, you want to go drive around and smoke weed with us?

And I was like, ah, no, I'm with my friends tonight.

You know, I can't, which is this, I understand.

You're like,

you're like, is there like a hole or some way that you can pass the joint into the trunk from the back seat?

But this guy, for the rest of his life,

for the rest of the time we knew each other, every time we talked to each other, he would look at me and he would say, man, you could have been stoned and boned.

He said it every time to the point where he had an accident at work and

he got hit on the head with a piece of steel and like his memory was kind of fucked up.

This isn't as funny.

Right.

But even then, when I saw him, he would be like.

Man, you could have got stoned and boned.

Like he had said it the whole time.

Like that was one of the things that in even with a brain injury, that was one of the things that he retained.

He retained the information that you are an absolute fucking idiot for not getting in that car.

Mike Myers has this story about one of the last things George Harrison did was write a letter to Mike Myers for whatever reason.

And that's going to be your story about this guy as like his wife's going to be like, the last thing he said was Brian could have gotten stunned and burned before we lost him.

On his deathbed.

On his deathbed.

They're trying to just, it's like they're trying to decipher it like a movie.

Yeah.

This guy goes,

after I brought home bike number three, wife mentions I should sell one.

Came home with bike number four, not a word.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

sounds like your wife is scared of you.

Very cool.

Very cool.

This guy goes, tell her she doesn't have to ride it.

Okay, good advice.

I don't think that's her concern, right?

Like, I don't think it's not...

Like, they're using these school rooms, you know, they're like, well, you don't have to use it.

It's like, well, no, I think she's one concern maybe with her partner's well-being and then probably with the financial aspect of it.

This guy says, I went through that two years ago.

If your wife ain't on your side, you need a new wife.

If she loves her man, she'll let him do what he wants unless he's cheating on her.

Then that's a different story.

And there's some truth to that as well, that if you can't afford it, if you can afford it and you're not doing anything that's like dooming the family, then yeah, you should be with a partner who supports the things you love and isn't like trying to stop you from doing them.

That's true.

Finally, this guy goes, My ex-wife asked for a divorce after I bought my first bike.

My new girlfriend loves that I ride a Harley because that's what her dad rides.

I hate that.

That's really one of the worst posts you ever read.

Holy shit.

We've read some pretty bad things on here.

On the bonus episode, I just had to bleep out some slurs that some guy said, you know, but

that is really one of the worst things I've heard.

It's gross.

Let's check in with this guy.

Let's go.

There's the bike.

He's riding now.

He points at their bikes.

Oh, there's their bike.

He showed their bikes as he drove off.

There's the bikes.

He's a first person.

It's first.

They're dead to me.

They're not dead to me.

He said they're dead to me.

By the way, I do love it because I love it.

It looks so much like Europe there, you know?

I do like Europe.

I want to go to Europe so bad.

Me too, brother.

I'm with you.

You want to go together to meet me Brian?

Yeah.

Let's go to Europe together, seriously, because I can't go to America, Dad, because

everything in your country, we can't even do live shows.

We're not missing a ton here.

Yeah, I mean, listen,

a lot of my friends and stuff, like Brian lives in Columbus, obviously, and we did have plans for me to come hang out a lot.

Don't say a city to the the Hells Angels, they're going to come get us.

Oh, he says his address.

There aren't any here, he literally says his address

on the podcast.

But yeah, I think that would be really fun, Brian, if we did a Europe trip.

I would actually enjoy that.

Euro trip.

Yeah.

It would have the movie.

I have to bring my old lady and my kid, though.

I have to bring my old lady.

Yeah, I'm not even joking.

I would actually bring it up.

You're both back in three months writing Reddit posts of like, thought I was doing a fun trip with a friend, but he brought his old lady and his kid.

Yeah.

This is going to be our button.

This is Sophie Sprocket.

And after she fogged me off at the ABR,

that's very dead to me.

Anyway, that's another story.

He does look beautiful.

There he is.

I am a bit pissed off.

And thinking about it,

I think,

in fact, no, I know

if this would have been the only option

when

this tour was brought brought up, when we were arranging it,

I wouldn't have come.

I would have just rather stayed at home or planned a different tour for myself.

I don't mind riding on my own.

I do probably most of my riding on my own, but

I'd come on this to tour with mates.

And yeah, I'm not.

This is beautiful, though.

Is this so?

Is this France?

Is he in France?

He's in France.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It is really nice.

I did, I used to play GeoGuesser on stream sometimes, and I did find

Austria, is really nice, too.

That was just what I found, like the place that I dropped.

But France, there was so many places you get dropped where you're like, holy shit, is this ever fucking nice?

Imagine you're in the beauty of France, and all you can do is complain about these guys fopping you off.

Yeah, I mean,

I mean, yeah, he's literally like it's sunset as well.

So he's like riding on this beautiful sunset of this beautiful country road and yeah, it's like you would think Dan if you're a real biker at heart that you would say hey sucks that the the you know my the blokes are going on

the lads the geezers are going on but I'm gonna enjoy this ride now.

Oh, he does not enjoy the ride.

I'll let you know.

I've watched the whole video and he starts complaining about toll roads almost immediately.

Here's another wife post.

This guy posts a picture of a helmet.

It's a full-face helmet.

Yeah, he goes, it's cheaper than a purse I bought my wife for Mother's Day, though.

I shouldn't feel bad if I picked this up, right?

Waste of money, yes, but damn, it's nice.

Now,

you're not going to be prepared for how much this costs.

Okay, because I was going to say, yeah, I mean, a helmet is not a waste of money, but this one is a waste of money.

A $4,000 helmet.

Oh, cheap.

That feels like one of those products that's just like geared towards people with so much money that want to buy the most expensive thing.

I'd love one, but I don't have the 4K for it.

It's a good racket because you can always convince yourself more expensive means safer.

You can be like, yeah, you're right.

$4,000 one.

Yeah, for safety.

When you're talking about the safety, like life or death, we're talking about this is going to potentially save me from death.

I'm not going to, what are you going to skimp on that?

Like, you're going to get the $3,500 one, pay five hundred extra dollars it could be you know your life Brian would buy it just to be clear Brian would buy it brian the guys we're talking about who are four thousand dollars the guys are dumb and they want to spend more money on stuff that is Brian he just doesn't oh well he has some money now but he's like well he has no money just to be clear he makes a good we make a decent amount of money on the podcast a lot more than he used to but it's just all out the door on some of the dumbest shit you could ever imagine he's what's the most recent one I mean what what kind of what you bought a Lego thing I mean,

he spent thousands of dollars on Legos.

Right, but they're all gone now.

Yeah, he donated them afterwards because he just likes to build them.

But he didn't get any money back for them.

He sinks the money costs into them.

That's a lot.

But what's something that you've bought recently that was expensive?

I guess I would say the Lego set I have.

It was like $3.45.

What was it?

It's a boat.

It's like a river boat.

$345.

Do you know what I mean?

I think I'm going going to sell it.

I don't know, man.

I'm not trying to say that that's like...

I'm selling it.

I'll get some of that back.

This is why, dude, this is when you get in real trouble with your stuff is when you're just like, oh, no, I'll get like, you know, it's not like, I'm not, it's not total sunken cost.

As soon as you start thinking of any of your hobby as not being entirely a sunken cost, you're in big trouble.

Big trouble.

I'm selling it.

And it'll only end up being like $150,

probably.

And you didn't actually pay for it because you paid for it with your points that you accumulated through spending thousands of dollars of life.

And gift cards I had.

I had $85 in gift cards, too.

There was money off of it.

His family gets him gift cards for Lego because you talk about not being able to shop for him.

You actually can't shop for him because

he buys the things so fast.

Like anything that he needs, he just buys it so fast.

Yeah, I get that a lot from my wife.

Like, it's hard to buy you stuff because anything you want, you just buy it.

Yeah.

his, his, uh, his

adult, they'll send me, like, his daughter sent me a message, you know, asking, and that's why I said you should print off this image of this swinger couple and frame it for him to put up on his wall.

And then he has it up there behind him.

Well, here's something you find out.

$4,000 for a helmet is insane.

And the guy replies and goes, yeah, especially since it's recommended to be replaced every three to five years.

Whereas a handbag is meant to last a lifetime.

Hang on a second.

Yeah, I'm going to want more than three years on that for

no moment.

But again, they're keying in on the safety aspect of it, Dan, where they're just like, yeah, of course you got to, like, it's going to, you know, you have to have a new one in three to five years just to make sure that it's on the same.

It's the same they do with strollers and car seats and stuff as well.

That it's just like, yeah, you have to replace it.

You have to do this.

And I'm sure there's...

You don't.

Well, I think you do.

But again, I don't know.

And I don't know if they'd say it too quickly to do it.

And I would never question it, right?

I mean, I'm not going to question the safety of my child.

I question the safety of my child at all times.

Yeah.

Well, when your child was a child, you were heavily on pills.

Medicated.

Just say that.

This guy goes, yeah, especially.

Oh, he guy replies and goes, maybe, but that doesn't stop my wife from asking for a new bag every damn year.

This is so unfamiliar to me.

This like

your wife and your relationship and like the use of money is so unfamiliar to me.

I don't, I, I, it's such an odd, like,

listen, I've gone out and spent too much money on stuff.

My wife has also done the same thing.

And just sometimes you just love that.

That's not really fair to make it seem like they're easy to do.

We both do it sometimes.

You guys both sometimes do it.

Like, she's probably done it once, and you've probably done it a thousand times.

Hey,

we both have done it, you know?

Everybody's done it, but I've never spent,

I've never spent more than a thousand dollars without being like, hey,

I'm going to buy this thing.

It's going to be $1,000.

And if not, I'm leaving you for someone whose dad used to buy these things.

Yes.

Thank you, Dan.

Keeper to keeper is what I always say.

Listen, I would always, if I'm making a big, I'll buy stupid stuff.

You know, I'll buy, I'm wearing

the Toronto Blue Jays.

I like 47 cleanup hats, and sometimes I'll buy them.

They cost like $40 or whatever.

But there's a Carhartt drop of those right now that looks really nice.

Yeah, no, I don't, I'm not interested.

I don't like to wear Carhartt and pretend I'm like a working guy or whatever.

I like them.

But yeah,

I'll buy those types of things.

And I don't, you know, sometimes Ariel will...

Ariel is my wife, but she'll sometimes give me a little bit of a, you know, like, oh, you came home with another hat, you know, but not in a serious way.

She's never ever, she would never be like, hey, can you really stop buying so many hats or whatever?

But on the same token, yeah, I would never come, just go and buy a thousand dollar thing.

Every once in a while, you might just have to be like, hey, is everything okay?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, that's a lot of hats this month.

Yeah, yeah, totally.

Every now and then, just checking in, just checking in with you because I've noticed that your hat purchasing has.

That's your third Harley.

So

what's going on internally here yeah yeah

oh that helmet it was four thousand like imagine being like me i showed you guys the helmet

like fucking sick by the way we didn't describe it it's fucking sick yeah it honestly did look super sick

dude it's so sick like it looked super futuristic and cool like something you'd see in like tron or something like that yeah yeah this guy goes uh this really feels like a look how much money i have post yeah

Okay, well, listen to the OP's reply to that.

Only if you think 4K is actually a lot of money, man.

This guy sucks so much.

Oh, my God.

So it's imagine

having a lack of self-awareness to respond that way, you know?

Like, that's more of a look how much money I have.

My accountant's actually doing just fine, but when he dies, you can have the job, sir.

Only if you think 4K is actually a lot of money, man.

But if you're an adult and you've been around, you realize it's all relative.

What's a little to me is a ton to someone else.

What's a ton to me is pennies to someone else.

Then apply differences in financial priorities, etc.

Oh, my God.

But you didn't refute anything.

It it literally is a look how much money I have kind of pose.

The person was right.

How does he go from my dumb wife to like a Zen Buddhist?

He's totally, he's the most calm, even-killed guy until you bring up his fucking pitch wife.

His wise off the handle.

We get off the wife thing.

Here's a picture that somebody posted, and you're not going to believe this, but it didn't go well.

This is this guy's new electric motorcycle.

Oh, no.

Oh, it looks like, I mean, it looks like a little vest, but kind of, you know, it's like it doesn't.

But it looks still like, kind of like a motorcycle.

Yeah, it's like, it almost looks like a bike that's, you know, one of those like chopper bikes, like the bicycle choppers that you'll see people drive.

It almost looks like that.

Uh, guy goes, It looks cool, but I do think, quote, motorcycle is pushing it a little.

So,

I think they now we're into a new motorcycle thing.

Show me the picture again.

I want to look at it again because I don't think it is a motorcycle.

I think I agree.

I don't think it is a motorcycle.

It's a motor.

Give him a break.

I don't think it's a motorcycle.

It looks silly, but it's like it.

Where's the

the motor?

It's a battery.

It doesn't need one.

This is not super far from something you might see somebody riding around like a retirement community.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, it definitely honks.

Beep, beep.

It definitely.

It's like, it's like a motorcycle version of a rascal.

Yeah, it's like a rascal made up to look like a chopper, basically, is what it looks like.

Yeah.

You're also, I mean, not to

drag them, but you are not supposed to charge those off of an

extension cord.

You got to plug that direct into the wall, my guy.

Oh, no.

He's going to be waiting all day.

He goes,

this first guy, the guy goes, it's cool, but I do think motorcycle is pushing it a little.

Then he gets a response from a guy and he goes, yeah, don't expect the wave from the rest of us when you pass us by.

Oh.

No way.

No way.

He's doing a lot of things.

He's a no wave fire.

He's a lot of guys thinking they're the same.

this is a that's a nightmare that's like somebody with like some sort of like jeep that's like so it's like such a shit looking jeep that they don't even get a jeep wave from their

friends you know the jeep wave dan there's like an actual wave that you get i think it's this right is it this oh it's this it's the three fingers like this yeah it's like it's literally like a thing that you do like out the window to other jeep

jeep drivers for show solid for like

i don't know what it means exactly

it's just the jeep it's just the jeep wave It's the Jeep wave.

It's like, yeah, it's in.

It's very stupid.

It's just a thing to say, hey, you and I both drive a car that could start rattling and crash on its own at any moment.

Guy replies and goes, if it can't do freeway speeds and also doesn't need to be shifted, it's not a motorcycle.

It's a scooter.

Yes.

If it doesn't need a license, it's a scooter.

If it has pedals, it's a moped.

If it shifts, then it's a motorcycle regardless of top speed.

pretty simple, really.

Yeah, I mean, that that person, I think, does have that person's right.

I think that those are all accurate, right?

Like, that person's not being a stickler.

I think there's actual definitions for the stuff, and that's what I get to say.

A guy goes, There's always one person who has their own definition: scooters are motorcycles, my dude.

Just Google it.

Oh, okay.

So, hang on.

So, scooters are a type of motorcycle.

What is it?

What is the definition?

What is the dictionary definition of motorcycle?

Oh, we get into that.

This This thread gets into that.

Okay, good, good.

Guy goes,

not according to the manufacturer that calls it a scooter and not a motorcycle.

So that is, and then a guy goes, repeat after me.

A scooter is a type of motorcycle.

So this is the argument where

we find ourselves in.

A scooter is a type of a motorcycle.

Before we see the rest of them, where do you guys stand before hearing many arguments on this?

I don't think a scooter is a motorcycle.

I think a motorcycle is

a different thing, I think, than a scooter.

I'm good with calling it a motorcycle, a scooter, a motorcycle.

I don't see what the point is.

Yeah,

you got such a fucking flipping attitude, though.

You know, you're always, oh, who cares?

You know, I'm sorry.

I care a bit about the rules.

The rule for me would be: if I told somebody I was trying to impress, come check out my motorcycle, would they be disappointed, laugh at me, or make fun of me when they saw this?

Yeah, sure.

And you call it whatever you you want.

Maybe it is technically a motorcycle, but you're putting a picture in people's minds.

Yes.

If you said, yeah, and they showed up, would they say, oh,

like if it went, oh, then it's not.

I'm afraid to say it's not a motorcycle.

There is a little information about this motorcycle that shows up in the comments.

This guy goes, according to the manufacturer, it's about 40 miles of range at full speed, 70 miles an hour is

max range, but you'll top at 25 miles per hour for that.

So you can get 70 miles out of it if you drive 25 miles an hour and which you can't on the road

i mean not on the freeway no not even on not even on i mean let's be honest there's a lot of even made like city you have to be on like little side street school zones and stuff really yeah

i love that that it's 40 miles of range at full speed and what's full speed did it say full speed it didn't say full speed they don't even want to say the full speed

but he gets this guy goes goes right.

So even an electric bicycle is more useful.

Oh, brutal.

He's right, though.

He is very right, though.

So that thing, it thing, pretty much, the crazy thing is this thing costs $4 or $5K.

I could buy two of my RC390s with that, or a Ninja 300 or 400, or an R3, but I guess OP might have a license restriction.

They're a different market where they live.

Empathetic.

License restriction.

So,

ah, so that's a key thing.

You can get ones if you got too many many DUIs.

There's still ones that you're allowed to drive around.

Well, here's the next argument.

We got to check out this next argument.

So, is this a motorcycle?

No.

It is a Riker rally.

It's got two front wheels and one back wheel.

It's got to have two wheels for it to be a motorcycle.

I think otherwise it's called something else, right?

It's called

a quad, I guess, is a four-wheeler, but is there a, like, it's called something else.

I I don't know.

No, it's a motorcycle.

I don't know.

I think a motorcycle has to be two wheels.

Let's move forward just a little bit on this here.

So it's on the way back.

I'm doing it completely solo now.

And a lot of it is going to be, well, most of it is going to be boring.

This is being

by the way.

Beautiful sunset as he's saying that.

It's like incredible sunset.

He's driving right into the sunset.

You see it over the horizon in front of him.

It is gorgeous.

It's a bowl race.

I just looked up the

definition of motorcycle, Brian.

You're completely wrong.

A two-wheeled vehicle that is powered by a motor and has no pedals.

No pedals.

Okay, now I'm going to let

you guys in the subreddit argue.

The first one technically was then.

It's just, I think it should have to be able to go highway speeds.

But that is like a, you know, I think that that could be up for debate, but it has to have two wheels, I think.

Well, the first guy says motorcycle noun, an automotive vehicle with two inline wheels.

So he would agree with you on this, but then a guy responds.

This is a perfect Reddit response.

So a bike with a sidecar is not a motorcycle then?

No, it's a motorcycle with a sidecar.

I don't know.

I kind of agree with Broken Load Order, who says,

I don't know, man.

I think that it's like, I don't know.

It's in the, like, I guess, whatever, right?

I guess there's very few instances where it really is going to matter, where it's really going to be consequential.

But I don't know.

I think that it is.

You're in the motorcycle subreddit is the place.

Well, I just mean actually consequential, though, right?

To like get it wrong and be like, we need a definition of motorcycle.

I don't think that that's really ever coming up for people, but I don't know.

I think it is just a two-wheeled vehicle.

Well, the guy goes, but by your posted definition, well, this guy goes, take off the sidecar, you have a motorcycle.

You put on the sidecar, you have a motorcycle with a sidecar.

Reply, but by your posted definition, while it has a sidecar on it, it's not a motorcycle.

No, it is.

It is a motorcycle with a sidecar on it.

Weirdly, though, I could strap a windsail to a bicycle, and that would fulfill your posted definition.

What

this guy's an exceedingly stupid man.

I hate this guy.

He's making a very funny argument.

I hate this guy.

What's his name?

Load something?

Broken load order.

And then the guy responds and goes, Don't blame me for the verbiage of the definition.

Blame Webster.

Oh, Webster.

Oh, sure.

Webster is.

We got to honestly, who was Webster?

Like, who came up with the definitions of that?

And have we thought about looking into it again?

Like, I know.

I wonder if you can submit a

redefinition.

A redefinition, yeah.

Yeah, like, well, I mean, truly, that must actually happen, right?

Like, things evolve, a definition of something evolves in some way.

If you guys are really smart about the,

can you tell us how often do they change the dictionary?

Not adding words, never,

but changing definitions in there.

If they do, okay, I'm going to hit our guy, and then we're going to do a few reviews here that I found for a place in Columbus called Iron Pony.

Where do you live?

Dan, you live in Los Angeles, Hollywood?

Yeah.

Oh, that's cool.

Me and Brian and I, we spent some time out there.

We are kind of Hollywood kind of, like, we don't live there, but we

suffice to say we have the attitude

of a Hollywood house.

We go there sometimes.

This is over Zoom.

If we hadn't set our locations, I would say you guys are probably down the street, maybe up the hill a little bit, of course.

Yeah, totally.

Oh, it looks insanely like up the hill.

What do you mean?

The Hollywood hills?

Yeah, that's the one.

Yeah, we know them.

We know them.

I love those hills.

I genuinely love those hills.

Yeah.

There's some context to it because, you know, I have not had a good time.

So it's a bit like basket me saying that because

the ride in itself, it has been basically all this, if I'm honest.

What a beautiful...

He's saying it's been all this.

That's all it is.

It's

tree-lined highways with a beautiful sunset directly in front of his face.

I mean,

what else are you hoping for on a motorcycle?

Something better than that.

I'll tell you that.

Not a huge deal.

I'm not a speed queen or anything, but he is in the far right lane getting past a ton.

He is.

He is.

He is.

Yes.

It's like, well, if you're in a rush to get home, you just pick it up here.

I don't know what to tell you.

Enjoy yourself.

You're on a notoriously fast automobile.

A lot of

windy motorway riding, not seeing anything at all.

and that is kind of being how these journeys have been going.

So, you're not really seeing France, you're just seeing the motorways of France.

So,

visually, the rides have been a bit shit.

What the fuck is calling it this visually shit?

Again, I implore you guys.

It really does look nice, as we said.

But also, I guess, so he wants to stop in because in order to do that,

you have to get off the highway to do what he wants to do, to go like explore the city proper but that's going to take more time he doesn't have time he's got to get home guys yeah that's what i'm saying so then like what i don't understand what was his

what was his plan at the other guys chris he's basically he's blaming all of this on the other guys

it's a boring road these other guys they suck they want to go to germany and now i'm stuck on this boring road and he's going home to see his kids So at some point, his kids are like, hey, let's check out dad's YouTube and see how his trip was.

Yeah.

That is very funny to imagine, like, oh,

I'll check dad's YouTube.

And he's like, the drive home's a bit shit.

I don't want to go home.

Skip ahead.

This sucks.

Skip ahead.

Boring.

But you bet.

I'll skip ahead again.

Watch.

Oh, now he's sitting somewhere.

Yeah.

this is a long ass day

but at least

this is a long ass day he now has his hand on his face like exasperated like just like like he just cannot believe how upset he is and also i gotta say i'm i never but he's got really bad teeth is

well

he is brilliant he's got the classic british teeth.

He does, yeah.

And when I'm riding, it's nice and cool.

So

every cloud and all that.

I am just a hot, sweaty mass, though.

Just feels like I've got so far to go.

And it's all boring motorway.

Like, he's really having a crisis.

He's documenting like a real like crisis of emotion that he's having.

It's a bowl ring motorway.

It's all bow ring motorway.

Because he came over here.

Yeah, go along through Columbus.

Yeah, go through any place on the freeway.

Well, I'll say

Vancouver, Pacific Northwest, where I am.

I mean, listen, it's not going to be, he's not going to like it.

I don't feel like.

He would hate it.

He would hate it, but there's like a lot of nice forested end like right along those the ocean and stuff it's a shitload of trees it's really quite shit

oh oh the ocean oh i've not seen that before oh

the fish the fish and all that then yeah all right it is a bunch of water yeah

iron pony luke went to the iron pony he gave it one star

Bought a 21 Roadmaster from them.

After getting it home and riding it, kept hearing something odd.

Took some time to figure out.

It ended up being after they installed new tires, they did not adjust the belt properly.

When asked to get a new belt if it were damaged, they said no and ultimately gave me a big slap in the face.

I just thought of a good motorcycle guy joke.

That I,

it's a really good motorcycle guy joke.

It's a yeah, so I got this.

I bought this motorcycle from this place and I got it home and I started hearing this weird sound every time I turned it on and I tried to figure it out.

Yeah, you know where I'm going, dad.

Turns out it wasn't the motorcycle.

It's my damn wife.

Complaint.

God, that would be literally, that's all I thought of when you were saying that was like him being like, yeah, like doing one of those horrible old-timey jokes or whatever.

Throwing me on the top post on our motorcycles right now.

I post that joke.

Yeah.

Well, the health angels are definitely going to forgive me after you telling that joke about wives.

Yeah,

the Hells Angels.

Hey, listen,

I want to shout out as well.

I want to say Brian specifically says nobody from the Nomads chapter of the Hells Angels would ever be able to find his ass.

Those are the baddest of the bad.

He goes,

been buying gear and things from them for years.

First bike I purchased, and they won't even admit or apologize or attempt to make right their mistake.

Beware, maybe a good deal.

Better look over everything before leaving, which I would say

you should do anyway.

Yeah, good advice for any used.

Yeah.

Yeah, if you're buying like something like that,

even maybe want to have like, even sometimes when people get a car or whatever, they'll have like an independent mechanic look at the car.

They'll actually have some like a I'm so non-confrontational.

If I was at like a used motorcycle place, they would intimidate me so much I would buy it and I would feel guilty asking them if it all works.

You really would?

You honestly think you would?

If I was in that position where

I never will be, but where I was buying a motorcycle from like a hog daddy, yeah, I think I would be a little bit like, so it all, it's all good, right?

Like it's normal, it works, it's fine.

And then he'd be like, oh, you bet, brother.

And that would be it.

That would be all you do.

Great.

And you're, but you're notorious.

You're very, you're a large guy.

You're big.

So like physically, you could sort of like, you wouldn't be physically intimidated, but you're just saying based on their knowledge of bikes and stuff.

Yeah, I don't, I don't think they'd kick my ass, but I think they would make me feel like shit.

I mean, it would emotionally kick your ass.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like every time I go fucking buy a car, it's like, all right, I don't want to spend more than this amount of money.

Every time it's always $50 more than that amount of money every single fucking time because I just, I can't haggle.

I can't say like

yeah it's like I'm what am I gonna say like oh how about fifty dollars less a month or whatever did you know that I bought a car and like a little while ago and you guys talking about that right now it just dawned on me that I could This is really dumb.

It just dawned on me that I could have haggled the price.

It's hard to realize that I just paid the price that they were asking because I was just like, can I get financing for this?

And then they're like, yeah, you can.

And And then I was like, oh, fuck you.

And I was just so excited that I could get financing for it.

And that I was able to leave with a car.

It was so exciting to me that I was just like, never even thought to try to get any money.

I got one over at those idiots.

Yeah, exactly.

I literally walked out thinking that.

And yeah,

I guess I'm a bit of a rube, I suppose.

Wait, you trust me enough to take this car and then pay money to you later for it?

All right.

Yeah, I'll take whichever one you'll give me.

Really?

Yep.

I'm a big old.

This guy goes,

one-star deals are not that good and only deals are for the dumb stuff nobody wants or needs yeah welcome to yeah that's that's the concept

that's the whole idea of retail sale like that's that idea has been around for a long time

yeah the sale is for stuff that nobody wants to get you into the store to buy the things that you want uh he goes helmets are overpriced and parts are more expensive than other places If you like throwing money away, it's a great place to do that.

I'm going to come on my way, buddy.

You think those helmets are overpriced?

Buddy, you should see the helmet I got.

I got

clothes are all overpriced.

Hats are way overpriced.

Can get some hats for $5 to $15 versus their $30 or more.

So the hats are $30.

$5 hat, I certainly, I mean, those really cheap, like, Canada flag hats at the dollar store, I think, cost like four, you know, but they're noticeably like a worse type of hat.

I don't think, I don't think I've seen a $5 hat in many a year, like a normal hat.

This one's really interesting, and it really conjured up an image for me.

This is from Charles.

He gave him one star, and he goes, ripoff place.

Don't buy from here.

They charge hidden fees.

And also think they're funny by letting the security alarm off on your way out and want to search your wife's purse.

I'll never shop here again.

It's sad.

The only thing they have is a big selection, but people who work there are ridiculous.

He thinks they did it as a joke.

Like they're just laughing in the back.

Let's get them.

Let's get them.

They just press a button as they go on.

Remember, this reminds me of my complex with the Taco Bell.

by me where I thought they were making fun of me.

Oh, yeah.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like this guy's real Brian mode in that.

But I think they were making fun of you because of your orders, right?

You ordered so much and you went there so often.

I mean, I believe that the people at Taco Bell were making fun of you.

They were not.

This makes me think of, I got, I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but I got like...

actual some level of trauma from this place this shoppers drug mart is like our drugstore like rex all or whatever around here and i went there and the one place by my house the thing would go off it was broken and it would go off every single time like anybody left for periods of time.

So, like, just every other time, it would go off when you were leaving.

And still, to this fucking day, I still get this like feeling like this is like sinking feeling inside of me as I walk out through those every time, thinking it's going to go off.

Every time, like, I just can't get it out of my head.

So, I don't know.

I feel like

it's a trauma that I could possibly.

Listen, I was a guy that I follow, he's a lawyer a Harvard ex-Harvard lawyer

Alan Dershowitz he recently talked about yeah being suing somebody for not selling him pierogies or whatever and just sort of that I was just thinking of like

yeah maybe sue them for the trauma that they caused or something like that well this guy goes I can't begin to say how disappointed I was I started looking online and got really excited looking at their website of all the different options and classes and whatnot.

So me and my my wife drove over there on my birthday.

I love it when guys bring up their birthday, like adult guys.

They're like, we drove over on my little birthday.

That's a birthday boy that day.

He's a little birthday boy.

He's a little treat.

Motorcycles.

Yeah.

Keep in mind when you hear this story that it was my special day.

Nothing bad can happen to me on my birthday.

You know that.

So

we walked around their showroom for probably 40 minutes, sitting in and checking on bikes with salesmen all around us.

I mean, the place was empty of shoppers and at least four to seven employees at any given moment hurdled together just hanging out and talking, watching me walk around and not even a hello or how can we help.

So we drove over to Auto Boutique and got the help we needed.

Oh,

I hate guys that do that little test.

When you go to a store, I used to do it too.

Listen, I was never,

I was once a bad guy too.

You go to the store and then you huff and puff around the store because nobody's talking to you without actually going up to the person and saying, hey, can you help me with this car?

It's like I'm testing this.

That would never even cross my mind to do that.

Yeah.

Brian, I wanted to give you credit actually for adding puff to the.

He used to just do the huff part.

Sorry.

That's good.

That's good.

This place is called Daytona Motor Sports.

It's in Vancouver, Vancouver, British Columbia.

Hey, wait, where is it?

What road?

Sir, I do not know.

I can look at it.

I don't know this.

I mean, I'm not a motorcycle guy.

You're not a motorcycle guy.

You wouldn't know.

I just want to know what neighborhood it's in.

It's a motorcycle dealer in Vancouver, British Columbia.

It's in Vancouver.

That's the neighborhood.

It's on Cordova.

It's in East.

East Vancouver.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know this.

Well, Paul gave them one star and said dealing with the service department was a joke.

They tried to charge me.

it's not a joke by the way you guys are not you would hate if this happened to you can i just say this place this is for the listener this place right beside where a friend of the show stefan heck used to live he used to live just down the street from this place where does he live now he lives just down the street from me you know this fucking freak you know what this fucking freak has done he's literally i moved into this one neighborhood commercial drive he literally moves a one-minute walk away from there.

I leave that area one year later and move to the river district.

Shouldn't actually say that.

I'm going to bleep that out.

Chris lives in the river district.

It's not a very big area.

And then he moves into here as well.

He says it's a coincidence, but it's like, I don't know, at some point, it's like, buddy, get your own area to live in.

It's kind of sad.

Well, he goes, they claimed, he goes,

They tried to charge me a ridiculous price for fixing a minor issue with my bike and charge me an additional fee that they never explained beforehand for not going through with the work order.

They claimed it was because they had to reassemble the bike and give it back to me.

I'm shocked they didn't charge me for using the ink and their pens to send the paperwork.

This guy is such a whiny guy, too.

I got the job done at another service center for a fraction of their quoted price.

Would never consider going back or recommending them to anyone.

And finally, our last review for Daytona Motors.

Before we get get out of here,

Sham gives it one star.

He goes, Scamtona Motors is what it should be called.

Oh, shit.

Talked to someone to trade my bike.

And when we agreed on the price and everything, got a call back later saying, oh, we added $400 as a donation to our deal.

They called it some type of fee, but I'm going to call it a donation, LOL.

I would not recommend this dealership at all, folks.

They charge you an arm and a leg just in fee.

Well, there was the negative rating option.

Wish there was a negative rating option.

Now, this guy is a comedian, really, because he starts by saying Scamtona Motors is what it should be called.

And then at the end, he's like, they call it some type of a fee, but I'm going to call it a donation.

Yeah.

He clarifies.

He had to clarify it because he's like, they added this donation on.

And even like, everyone's like, wait, what?

That is fucked up.

Yeah.

If they're like trying to force you to donate money, and then he had to clarify, like, well, that's actually what I'm calling it.

It's a fee.

It's more of a thing that you would be familiar with in this type of a transaction, where

it's a fee that, you know, it's annoying, but it's something that we are all familiar with.

You know, when someone

does that to you in conversation, and you know, they've said it to every single person they've ever talked about.

This, like, they said it once, they went like, uh-oh, this is the one.

I'm using it every time.

Yeah.

Scamtona.

And then the person they're talking to is like, what's scamtona?

I'm not like 100% sure.

Oh, it's Daytona.

And they encounter someone that they don't realize they've already said it to.

Yeah, I actually call it the person who's like, scamtona.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

A donation.

It's not a fee.

It's a donation.

Like, the donation part would be so hard to explain to somebody as a joke.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

It's not like in the sense of like I'm donating it to them.

Like it's like...

It's like not for anything, but it's like...

They didn't do any labor, so you can't call it a fee because I'm not.

Okay.

Okay.

Scamtona.

It's the money.

It was.

Yeah, it's the money.

Yeah, it was a double.

Yeah, it was a double frappuccino.

Oh, I wait over there?

Okay.

Don't make it a Crappuccino.

It was a Crappuccino.

That's what I call a bad cappuccino

to explain everything he says.

The donation part makes zero sense.

Like, because when you first hear $400 donation, you're like, well,

what's that?

And then he has to clarify.

Like, he has to clarify both of his jokes.

Let's check back in with this guy before we get out of here.

Yeah, let's go right to the end.

Let's go right to the end of his video.

See, because I'm sure by the end of it, oh, Jesus.

He's like in a train station.

He looks so disheveled.

He looks like he's just been released by the Russian army.

He looks somehow like he's gotten older.

Like his hair has grown and he's gotten older in the video.

More beard.

This is crazy.

Do a tour like that again.

I just, I can't do it.

I can't do it.

It costs a lot of money.

It means,

yeah, financially, I can't afford to do it.

And the fact that,

you know, I've been left to just go home on the arm.

And I know people are going to call me.

I'll be called a pussy.

I'll be called, I'm sure, loads of different things.

because you know, people do tour Europe on their own, and they do, and I'd be quite happy to do it on my own.

But if I did it on my own, I would actually

have a plan.

I would go to places, I would go and stop off at places, I would tour, I would actually see a bit of the area.

If I, if I, I'll just say this, if I just found myself making a video or whatever, and at the end of the video, I was like, now I know that this video is going to cause a lot of people to call me a pussy, I i probably just wouldn't even post the video

he just keeps going he's just like they're going to call me a pussy but you know yeah he just it costs him a lot of money i mean he is really in an absolute spiral he's like crashing out as they say nowadays it's like he's like spiraling fully where it's like it's one of those sort of shame you know where he's like he's so upset about it that all his mind is trying to do now is just conjure up all the horrible aspects of it to be like oh yeah and the the fucking cost of it as well.

Like, it's just searching for things to be angry about.

Do you think he drops this video in the group chat with no comment?

In the group chat

with the people he went on the trip with, 37, 37, part one.

Two, 37 minutes.

Oh, yeah, but it's part one, just to be clear.

No, but part one is the tour of him having fun.

It's actually, if we had the time to cover it, it would be even funnier because the juxtaposition of him having fun with his friends and joking around versus when they leave him and how he's just hated the whole thing is really great.

So I'm going to spend 15 hours on a toll road and just get out of there because I need to get on.

And that's the thing.

That's what I'm miffed about.

It's not the fact that I'm doing it on my own because

I'm an adult.

I'm not a baby.

That's a good way to end it.

I'm an adult.

I'm not a baby.

Because

I know what a lot of you are thinking.

No, I'm not a baby.

I'm a big boy.

I'm actually a big boy.

Not a baby.

And can I tell you a bit about the body?

Big bike, boy.

I ride a motorcycle.

Can I tell you the worst part about it?

Yeah, here's my identification.

That's right.

Today is my birthday.

Dan, thank you for doing the show.

Would you like to plug anything?

So

let's see.

You can listen to the Man Dog Pod.

It's an improv and conversation podcast.

You can go to biggrande website.com to get everything I make with my comedy group, Big Grande.

And if you like video game streams, I've been streaming as a character named King Cockroach.

It's an animated character, and I play video games every Wednesday night.

It's bossbug KC on Twitch.

Oh, that's all.

Can I just say, I try, I'm a bit, I didn't mention it because I didn't want to make it weird.

I'm a huge, massive fan of the Teacher's Lounge.

So The Teacher's Lounge is the only podcast, truly, that I've listened to every single episode twice of.

I think it's it's one of the funniest podcasts that's ever been made.

I genuinely believe that.

I actually tried to push Brian to say, can we have Dan come on as Todd Padre?

But just the whole idea of it would not work in any way.

As you can see, it would be just a stupid thing.

But just like it was a it was a dream of mine.

So your podcast with Ryan, that's the man, the new podcast that you guys do is so funny as well.

You guys are some of the best improvisers.

And yeah, honestly, truly, if you're a fan of our podcast and you think that this podcast is funny at all,

go check out everything that these guys do.

Go check out Man Merse Dog and Teacher's Lounge.

Thank you so much, man.

Yeah, the Teacher's Lounge you can find for free anywhere you get podcasts, at least the first like 10 seasons.

So tricky, yeah, there's it's so good.

That's so nice of you to see.

Thanks again.

We will see you next week.

I do not know.

Oh, cigar guys, maybe.

Actually, no, that was stupid because this might be an out-of-world thing.

Why are you doing that?

Why are you doing that?