Guys: Episode 130 - Camping Guys with Tom Sexton

Hello, you're hearing me before the heavy metal music, so that means there's going to be a guys live show or a merch drop.

But this time it's a live show.

It'll be October 3rd at Wise Hall in Vancouver, British Columbia, because Chris isn't allowed here.

Tickets go on sale on the Geyserie on August 1st at 8 a.m.

Pacific Standard Time for guys patrons at patreon.com slash guys podcast and 12 p.m.

Pacific for general sale.

Again, go to the guyserie

and buy some fucking tickets.

Come and see us.

Goodbye.

Welcome to guys, a podcast about guys.

I am Brian.

With me is my friend Chris.

Hi, Chris.

I can't think of an insult because we're talking about camping guys, which are generally decent guys.

I've learned something about them, though, that I think is going to blow your fucking mind.

Not blow your mind.

I think the two people I have on this show are perfect to talk about, or you and the guests are perfect to talk about this because it kind of reminds me of the Bourbon guys episode.

Huh.

But yeah, in a way.

Tom, you don't seem excited.

I'm interested.

Tease this out.

Yeah.

So we have Tom Sexton here.

We have one of our regulars back.

I guess.

I got to tell you.

Are you going to let him say,

you're going to let him say hi properly or what?

Ryan just fingered me for everyone listening.

He just flipped me off.

Tom, I just, because everyone loves me.

I didn't finger you.

That's what we say up here in Canada.

But I swear to God, like when I grew up, that was one of your names.

Like, oh, he fingered me.

But

everybody loves

everyone famously loves Tom.

Voice, Tom, you know that.

So I just wanted to have a nice proper introduction for Tom.

Tom, thanks for joining us.

Thanks, Chris.

I appreciate that, man.

I wanted to ask this, because Tom, you are not the type of guy that I think camps.

Are you a camping guy?

I would tell you about, I'll tell you where I land on camping, okay?

I spent much of my life camping and I'm from the woods.

You know what I mean?

So I don't want to go on vacation where I'm from.

You know what I mean?

I see.

It's one of those things.

Tom.

Can I tell you that

the reviews for campgrounds are fucking incredible.

Like in a way that I never realized could happen.

But let me tell you, the reviews for campgrounds near Whitesburg, Kentucky are some of the best stuff I've ever read in my life.

We got Fish Pond Lake.

I don't think so.

No, it's a state park, and it's so the complaints are funny.

We're going to get to that a little later.

Chris,

you camp, right?

Well, I live in Canada.

Of course, everybody up here does a little bit of camping.

It's kind of you have mandatory camping when you hit, you know, 18.

But

Ohio.

Oh, God.

No.

Well, I'm not from Canada.

How would I know?

But yeah,

I'd done some camping most definitely.

Of course, the last time I went on a camping trip, I don't know if I've mentioned this, but it was sort of

an old friend, somebody I hadn't seen in a while, who

became a little bit scary on the camping trip.

And it was just him and I, you know, catching up out on a camping trip in the middle of nowhere.

And he became a little bit erratic in the things he was saying, a little bit scary after taking some drugs.

And

that was

not a good experience, I would say.

Not a place where you want somebody to reveal their, you know, pent-up tendencies to you.

No, that's all I could think about, Tom, was, God, I wish I was in less of a remote area right now.

I wish that there were some more people around.

A lot of the time, I'm excited to be away from people, have a little peace and quiet.

That's something that I'm going for.

But in that circumstance, I was thinking, I would like some witnesses around at this point yeah that was uh yeah that was unfortunate i listen i hope he's doing better and he i like him and everything but yeah that was sort of turned me off of camping that was the last big camping trip i went on i went

the last real camping trip i did was woodstock 99.

i would and that wasn't really camping that was the super bowl of camping

yeah that wasn't thank you what so what are we what are we talking about here with camping i went with my friend nate robbie and porn O'Shaughan.

Robbie's in jail now.

God rest his jail soul.

But porn O'Shaughness doing his whatever.

God rest.

God rest his jail soul.

Do we want to know what he went to jail for?

I don't think we do.

Actually, I don't know.

But I don't think we do.

I'm just going to say that.

But yeah, yeah.

He wasn't even a friend of ours, really.

I don't know how he ended up there.

Well, he's a big, I mean, that can be the case, though, if you're going to like a big event like that.

It doesn't, you know, it's like, hey, I want to go as well.

We kind of know you, but he's like, he was interested in going to Woodstock.

One of my big rubs, frankly, with camping is you don't get to, you know, be too selective about who participates because it's a group effort.

And invariably, somebody's going to invite a couple of duds.

And you don't want a couple of duds in a situation where you're shitting by a tree for a couple of days.

You also don't want

the worst thing that can happen.

My parents had a seasonal campsite for a while when when I was 18.

What does that mean?

It means they had a camper parked on a campsite for the whole summer, right?

Oh, I see.

So they had it.

They had a campground near Columbus.

Okay.

Yeah.

So they had it for the whole summer and they would go every weekend.

Okay.

So one time I was like, hey, can me and like four of my friends go to the campsite and hang out?

And they're like, no, no, absolutely not.

Because they knew

we were going to become a problem

for the other campers.

Yeah, they were going to embarrass us.

them.

They were going to have to come back there after and deal with that embarrassment.

You can understand that feeling, Brian.

Similar to

if you recommended someone for a job.

No, I don't have any shame about that.

But now I totally understand why

they didn't want us to go.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

But at the time, I was like, why the fuck even have it?

Yeah, I mean, listen, both things make sense.

When you're younger, you're like, we have this great thing that we could go party on that is like perfect for us to go have a good time and we're not allowed to use it.

That's bullshit, but also is completely reasonable from them to not want you to do it.

I just want to say to Tom, going back, you know, you said camping, you could have a couple of duds and you don't want to have a couple of duds on your camping trip?

Yeah.

God, man, I would have loved to have a couple of duds on that camping trip with my buddy.

Just a couple of real losers who could have just, you know,

defended me.

for you.

Yeah, just defended me in a physical.

He was crazy.

Was he yelling at you?

He was not yelling at me.

But he was like, you could just tell.

The things he was saying,

the things that, like, the subject matter, the stuff he was saying is what was scary.

You know,

he was saying stuff like,

you know, like, I don't know.

Did it get increasingly weirder as the trip.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

He, he, and he, he was bringing up jordan peterson a lot

dr jordan peterson

it's it's within it's like three four years ago maybe or something maybe five years ago okay something like that but yeah so he was he was just talking a lot about how everything's bullshit you know what i mean how like like it was really real kind of conspiracy stuff but of course because at that point i was doing a lot of uh prank calling those conspiracy guys and stuff like that which he was kind of aware of.

And it sort of started off with, hey, I was watching some of it.

It's kind of funny and stuff like that to being like, well, why do you think you're fucking better than them?

You know?

And like, I was like, oh, uh-oh.

Uh-oh, you okay, man?

Can we, you know?

And he was driving.

I wasn't even driving.

No, no, no.

I didn't, I didn't have, I did not have an escape.

And it was, there was no other campers around.

Like, we were.

Dispersed camping, I think is what they call that.

I mean, it was, it was a a campground technically.

It was like it was like a campground, but it was a remote campground on a river, you know?

And there was just nobody else camping there.

There was nobody else at the campsite whatsoever.

There was nobody.

We didn't see anybody else the entire time we were there.

So yeah,

that could have been the end for me.

And I mean,

I don't know.

I had to go to the bathroom.

He was just kind of mad at me.

He was waiting for you to...

He was waiting to tell you these things.

I guess, maybe, I'm not sure.

I think what happened was he took some mushrooms and he started to like freak out from them and started to have like a bad reaction to them in that way and was struggling with mental illness.

And yeah, I slept with, I didn't really sleep, let's be honest.

But when I one eye opened and my finger on my can of bear spray, and that is no word of a lie,

I was holding bear spray in my tent, just and I lost one of my AirPods that trip as well

can i ask like

he was totally normal before you left he was a guy you knew and had hung out with oh yeah he was a guy i knew like years ago though like maybe i hadn't seen in like maybe like if me and porno sean went camping yeah it would be like you kind of catching up with one of your old buddies from the stories you know and he but this guy like a really nice guy like really good guy that i got along with really well and like was a really seriously good guy but had some stuff happen to him in his life that I won't let, you know, like some

rough stuff that happened.

And so, yeah, it was like reconnecting because I knew him and his brother, and his brother's just like, oh, yeah, he's like, kind of, you know, it'd be good probably to talk.

Like, so he was struggling.

He was having a little bit of a tough time.

But I thought to myself, that was cold comfort for you out in the woods.

Yeah, yeah.

That doesn't matter when you're out there.

Yeah, that doesn't have anything to do with it.

In the in when you're actually out there face to face with the man who's sort of staring right through you saying, you know, why do you think you're better than Jordan Peterson?

There's not much like you have, I have a lot of empathy and I really, you know, but in those moments, it was pure terror that I was experiencing.

One of the scariest experiences.

I've said before, I was out in the ocean once in the Bahamas and I saw a tiger shark swimming straight at me in the middle of the open ocean.

And that shark experience is the second scariest experience I ever had out in nature, for sure.

Yeah, I mean, predators swimming directly at you, but I could take that over over this.

Oh, I mean, the apex predator, you never even heard of Jordan Peterson, at least.

So, like, while he's eating me, I'm not having to hear about cleaning up my own room and stuff, at least.

I had a similar experience, Chris, one time.

A lot of longtime listeners of the program and friends of mine will know that

I'm

a bat surveyor by trade and so like I used to go out on these surveys and like catch bats and you know identify what kind of bats were near like wherever they wanted to build stuff make sure there were no invading species that kind of stuff so cool by the way so fucking required a lot of camping for the job you know and yeah one night we're getting ready to head out for the night and the big boss who was you know the guy that ran the company I worked for requested that I Go out with him and net with him that night, which was like

Well at the time i was a city councilman in the city of witesburg so i you know i had my hands on the levers of power at the municipal level and and he like owned a lot of businesses downtown and like vacant buildings so i assumed this was like his play to like uh you know get some uh you know special so you figure

you figure he's gonna be treating you really nice i'm thinking that like maybe he's gonna like try to grease my palms or something like that and i you know i didn't have many scruples in those days and so you know i've probably been amenable to something like that But

we got out there.

And I didn't ride out there with him.

I rode out with another guy who dropped me off at his site.

And then that guy would drive off to his next site, whatever.

So I'm out there basically, you know, just me and him for that night.

And, you know, I'm sitting there and I've got my little beef jerky.

I've got,

you know, my decaf coffee.

Very important, if you're ever out in the woods where there's snakes, you don't want to be drinking high-test because if you get bit by a snake, it courses through your system quicker.

It will kill you quicker or hurt you quicker.

So, a little pro tip, well,

little tip for the woods.

We get out there,

but

yeah,

y'all drove all the poisonous snakes out of Canada.

Yeah, they're all gone.

Somebody came and played a flute and they followed him out.

That's right.

So, I'm out there with this guy who's about every bit of five foot four.

It looks like Mr.

Clean, like slick bald head, you know,

and he's wearing a jumpsuit, like a one-piece jumpsuit, like a onesie.

Like, but like more like

a baby he would have worn in Top Gun or something like that.

Yes.

Yeah.

Not like a baby.

I was thinking like a baby onesie.

The little five-foot bald guy with a baby onesie is a pretty football.

Okay.

So we're out there and we were, you know, setting up a tent and all this stuff.

And we're settling in, you know, we start a little fire.

And he gets out one of those, you know, those like little

portable record players that they had.

You know, I'm talking about you, you'd buy like Barnes and Noble or something.

They came in like different colors and stuff.

It was a little pink record player, portable record player.

And there was but one selection to listen to that night.

And it was Trout Mask Replica.

Oh, yes.

Frank Zappa, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's the word.

You can't bring Frank Zappa to a place where other people are.

This is why, listen, I say that, I've said this a million times in my life.

I don't go to a party and play fucking corn.

No.

You know what I mean?

I don't go to a place where other people are and play typo negative.

Because you recognize that it's like, that it is still niche.

Like the majority of people do not like that music and it's actually upsetting to them.

It's not like pop music where people are like, this sucks, but if it's on in the background, it's not really offensive.

It's like offensive music to people who don't like it.

Yeah, well, and in the same way you were talking about being out in the woods with your your buddy and him bringing up Jordan Peterson, when you start hearing like Captain Beefheart doing these like Gregorian chant type avant-garde things on that record

on a little pink record player out in the middle of nowhere.

It's a little unsettling.

So I just thought, well, okay, this guy is an eccentric.

And I kind of knew that going in because we had like something of a relationship going in.

And

we were sitting out there and just making small talk.

He's just, he know, he knew my uncle, Rerun, who listeners of the show will recognize rerun.

He was talking about rerun.

He's like, Man, rerun love to be out here listening to Trout Mask Replica with us right now.

My uncle Rerun's a rock guy of the highest.

Your uncle would be so much,

you know, more fun to have out there than you.

That's what he was kind of saying, maybe then

he nasty rerun out here, actually appreciating how fucking magical this is, unlike your ass.

That's

my ungrateful ass.

So we're just making this random conversation.

And out of nowhere, he just kind of drifts off and opines to himself.

He's like,

man, you never know where life will take you, you know?

And I was like,

yeah, I know that's right.

He's like, you know, man, you know, who knows?

Like, in 10 years, me and you could be lovers.

I mean, you don't know.

And

then

there was like a silence that just you heard the fire just crackle and pop.

I excused myself to go take a piss.

So from then on, I was like, okay, all right.

I got to be on my P's and Q's around the boss man here.

I think he's Lord Menderson.

That sucks so bad.

I had a boss that invited me out before they knew me as like an employee.

Which boss?

At which job?

At the cable company.

This woman was my boss when I was an insta.

I think I've talked about it before.

They called me one night.

I was at Theo's house, and Theo worked at the cable company with me, right?

They hit me on the next tell, which is out loud.

And they're like, Brian, Brian,

come out to this bar.

And I was like,

I'm doing other things and shit like that.

And they were like, come on, we're your boss.

Come and hang out with us.

And I, I was like, fine, I guess I'll go.

And it was like a miserable night for me because I didn't want to hang out with my fucking boss all night.

But the worst part about it was like

Theo had been working there for like a year before I started there.

And he was, I think that's when our relationship started to die because he was so jealous.

And I was like, oh, put Theo in, coach, man.

I don't want to be there.

Have him go.

I have a question for you.

I just thought I was cool.

What was Theo's relation?

Did Theo take a lot of pills as well?

Not really.

No, no.

Okay.

Do you think that might?

Because this is the boss.

Was this one of the boss?

No, this is a different boss.

Different boss.

Okay.

Because I know you and the other boss sort of had that in common.

Let's get on.

Let's take a look at R/slash camping.

The first thing I read on here was new to camping, went to a provincial campground.

Canada.

Oh, this is Canada, yeah.

Okay.

What do you know?

Do you know what I'm saying?

It doesn't say where.

It doesn't say.

He goes, myself and my whole family thought it was fine to pee outside the tent downhill.

But now I'm starting to think we weren't supposed to.

Are there hard actual rules in public Canadian campgrounds about peeing at campsites?

Chris, can I ask you, are there hard actual rules about peeing outside?

Inquired.

Yeah, we're going like

specifically canadian rules about it i mean i would think in a provincial campground where it's it's going downhill anyway i don't know about the downhill aspect of it like i would imagine are you peeing on some sort of a slide situation where it's actually going all the way down the hill i'm not like i'm not sure why

i'd like to hear him say what's at the bottom of the hill that's one thing i'd like to hear i think they have outhouses usually at campgrounds that you're meant to go pee in but i think of course people pee all the time you know as long as you're not peeing in someone else's campsite or whatever i think that it's pretty it's pretty okay usually well this guy says if

that's what i think just like you know in my experience usually if you're just peeing into dirt and grass it just kind of doesn't go anywhere enough to it doesn't go yeah that's what i was thinking it's like what kind why does the downhill thing are they i think the downhill thing is like well it's not around my campsite you know what i mean like it's going away oh yeah they're just saying it but like it's going away

yeah yeah it's like i talk about this all the time when you go sit in the grass good chance you're sitting in dog piss because there's dogs piss everywhere you know what i mean yeah dogs do but dogs don't they are as someone with a dog The dog dogs usually piss in big tufts of grass and stuff like that.

Like sometimes they just piss on the ground, but I don't know.

I think if you go sit out in a nice field like that, you can feel okay.

If you sit like along the fringes or whatever, or by like a bush or whatever, yeah, you're.

You need to clean up your dog's piss when you're out there.

Hey, excuse me.

Following some lady?

Excuse me.

You just,

your dog just went to the washroom there and he didn't clean it up, I noticed.

Rolling paper towels?

Class is moved, lady.

Classless move.

This guy goes, if you're in a Canadian provincial campground, you're supposed to pee in the washroom facilities.

Thousands of people use those campgrounds every season.

If everyone pissed beside their campsite, the place would be covered in piss.

Well, it is.

It is, though.

I like the idea.

This campground is covered in piss.

Everything's going to hell around here.

There's piss everywhere.

I mean, I...

Maybe that is true.

Maybe if maybe people do have, if there's so many people coming there and everybody pissed, like, I don't know what the optics of that are, if it would start, like, stinking like piss, if people were pissing all over the trees all the time, constantly, or whatever, but I doubt it.

I would think it would get, like, washed away.

I would think that, I would think that.

You don't think so?

You don't think so?

Okay, you are in Vancouver.

I'll give you that.

But there.

It does.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, there's not that much rain everywhere.

Like in Vancouver, it rains just all the time here.

So stuff like that gets cleared away very quickly.

Yeah,

even more so, I think.

Even more perception.

My brother lives in a place called North Vancouver, which is just like a suburb of Vancouver, basically.

And it's a rainforest.

It has like the precipitation there, if you go looked it up,

it's just always fucking raining.

Yeah.

So, yeah, a place like that, you could just piss wherever, I feel.

Yeah, but here,

it'll go a month without fucking raining here.

You know, if you're pissing in the dirt, so you're sitting there.

You got to use the outhouse then, or the washroom facilities.

If you're on one of those big, you know, like campgrounds where a bunch of people are using it constantly.

If you're out camping in the woods, though, in the woods proper, you can just go off and fucking pee on a tree.

I feel like

this guy, but he goes, it's quote, okay, if you pee outside your tent in the middle of the night, but honestly, just don't be a lazy bastard and walk your ass the short distance to an outhouse or washroom.

If you're scared of wildlife while walking through the washroom at night, then you really shouldn't be pissing beside your tent as that can attract wildlife.

I don't understand, I guess.

Bears like piss, which is whatever.

Gross.

It's kind of nasty for bears.

Like, come on, bears.

Like, that's kind of nasty.

I don't want to kink Shane by this guy goes.

As an advocate of peeing on trees, you're completely correct.

This guy's an advocate of peeing on trees.

Okay.

Yeah.

Even if I'm in the back country, I never pee close to the tent because one animal's too gross.

In a front country campsite with bathroom facilities, if you can make it to the outhouse, you should use it.

I feel as though it's like peeing in the pool.

It never occurred to me that we needed a rule about it until one day when I mentioned I was on my way to the toilet at the pool and a lifeguard said, huh?

Thanks.

That is gross.

Do you remember that red dye?

Did you guys ever have anything?

It doesn't exist.

It's not real.

It doesn't exist.

It's not real.

I swear to God, I've seen it before.

Nope.

I've never seen it.

And you know, I grew up with a pool.

And my friends, every friend I had had a pool, and we went to public.

I've never

in my life seen the supposed when somebody pees at a pool, a die comes out and a little dot chases you around.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right, actually.

See, I just, I'm looking it up.

You're absolutely right.

I convinced myself that that was like a real thing that I had even seen, but you're right.

It was just a thing that they use to scare people to deter them from peeing in the pool.

The truth of it is, though, it never deterred me from being in the pool.

I would always just have that moment where I'm like, ah, here we go, you know, and then i would just take the leap and go it's like a it's like a fake surveillance camera that die like security theater it's security theater it's classic it's a classic concept you're this guy goes exactly if i'm waiting tom yeah please no just my my rule about pissing in the pool is it's contingent on how much of a good time i'm having in the pool i'll be a gentleman

tell myself to the restroom if it's a real you know snooze fest but if i'm having a good time i just kind of do a laugh later on if i play pool basketball if i'm playing basketball in the pool, I'm like, I ain't getting out now.

Oh, yeah.

If the vibes are good, you get up, go to the washroom, you come back in.

You don't know how the vibes are going to be.

They could be way off.

Now, if you're at somebody's house, if you're a guest at somebody's house, I think it's always good to get out and go.

I'm talking more, my advice is more like in a municipal setting.

But at somebody's house, it shows what a great guest you are if you just have the decency to make a show of you going to the restaurant.

I don't even have, I don't even, even if I don't have to pee, I get out of the pool and I say, I got to to go to the washroom right now.

Just so that people are like, show it off.

I'm like, just show me Taffy Balor.

I do it like seven, eight times.

I do it to the point where they're like, this guy's doing cocaine, clearly.

And this guy goes,

this guy.

So anyway, the guy goes, exactly.

If I'm camping out on Crown Land in the middle of nowhere, I still don't pee near my campsite or near my tent.

I have a spot near a small mountain lake that friends and I walk into on Crownland.

We specifically built an outhouse about 100 meters away from the actual campsite for the exact reasons you mentioned.

Front country is a term I've never heard of before, but I like that.

And a guy responds.

Now, this is a great Reddit guy.

He responds and goes, does it not rain in Canada?

Everywhere else it rains, which takes care of anyone's piss.

It's fine.

That's me.

That's me.

But that guy might live in Seattle.

That guy might live in Seattle, you know.

But yeah, if he lived in Seattle, he would know that it rains in Canada.

Yeah, it's uh it's not, it doesn't always work that way, I suppose.

I think that everyone's always gonna piss.

And it is smart to piss away from your,

you know, just to like not have the smell of piss if it, if it is there.

But yeah, everyone's gonna, everyone's gonna piss out in the woods.

You're never gonna people take shits in the woods.

Yeah, they well, yeah.

Well, no, they don't.

Yeah, they do.

There are a lot of, no, they don't.

Brian.

It's rare.

Brian.

It's Brian.

I want to tell you.

I've shit shit in the woods too many times to talk about it.

Brian,

why is it?

How do you think it's rare?

What do you think people do?

I've known one guy that shit on a tree.

Think about if you're camping just out in a tent in the middle of the wilderness.

You hold it.

I'm holding it.

You're pinching it off.

Just hold it.

I will not poop outside.

What if it's out of your hands?

What if it's one of those?

Wow.

If it's a diarrhea.

Yeah, keep it out of your hands.

What if you don't have the opportunity to pinch it off and wait till later?

Yeah, Brian, Brian, honestly, you have to understand as somebody who I feel like you're already like, if we have sort of like a jug that our shit is in, I feel like your jug is already very full, if that makes sense.

Like your shits are so big that I feel like you can't really hold them in because it's like.

I can.

For days.

Because they're not huge all the time.

Again, when we talk about the huge craps, that is after travel and stuff like that.

That's when when you've been holding them.

That's when you've been

holding it for a long time.

That's

since.

Yeah, you might be in a, that might be a devil's bargain, my friend.

You might get and get it up in there and not be able to get it out properly.

You don't want to see it.

That's true, true.

And I do get home.

And I have huge issues when I get home.

Again, that's...

Huge issues when I get home.

But also, you could just push it too far.

Your trip's going on a little far.

Now all of a sudden, you've saved up this absolute fucking whirlbender.

And, and, and now, all of a sudden, you're out on vacation, not in your own bathroom.

And you, has that ever happened to you where you have to lay out like a huge shit somewhere?

Yeah, I, I,

I told you about the time I went camping, or okay,

glamping, yes,

but it wasn't glamping, it was sold to me as glamping, which, by the way, I did a lot of reading about glamping.

I think they're all my experience because tom i went to a campground okay i had to work by the way i had to record street fight which is a show you can't record ahead you had to record you know how it is you got to record it week of because you got to talk about what's going on in the news or whatever

And I was like, okay, I want to take my wife to the place in the continental United States where it's most likely she'll be able to see the Aurora Borealis.

Oh, yeah, of course.

So, yeah, we all know this story.

So, I I was like,

you caused all kinds of problems on the plane.

That's a different one.

That was in Alaska.

That's not the continental United States, lower 48.

But, wait, wasn't it?

Okay, so this was a different trip to see the same thing.

Yes.

Gotcha.

Gotcha.

And it was in Alpena, Michigan.

It is the darkest place in this part of the country.

So I'm looking for a place to stay.

There are some apartments.

There are some places like that you can stay at.

But then there was one that said, oh, a glamping experience.

I was like, this is fucking cool.

You know, I'll do a glamping experience.

So you saw that.

You saw that and thought, that's cool.

Like, you wanted to do that.

That's cool.

Yeah.

In Alpena, Michigan.

You're like, let's go do a little glamping in Alpena, Michigan.

Yeah, that sounds like a...

You didn't think possibly that.

Their glamping and your glamping might be different.

No,

because

I'll tell you this.

Because I thought glamping meant, hey, you got an air conditioner, you got Wi-Fi, you got air conditioner?

Yeah, why not?

Is that

a UP?

Yes.

So I think that you're talking about just staying in a hotel, Brian.

Well, yeah, that's what I would like to do.

Yeah, there you go, I mean, yeah, definitely.

It would be cool to go camping.

Glamping.

Not camping, glamping.

and i was like what time of year is this this is summertime midsummer very hot i'm not it was very hot outside and uh they go

they're like a picture of this truck i wish i could find it i i think i can probably but there's a picture of a trailer and i'm like okay this seems fucking great you know what i mean uh i look at all the pictures they seem good and then all i get there and it's in a guy's yard.

It's next to his house.

Oh, yeah.

I know this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so, like, the guy is like, ah, you know,

I don't usually watch TV while I'm on vacation.

There was no internet.

It was just Airbnb.

You were just staying at an Airbnb.

But it was glamping.

Anyways, so what's the get to the part where you're going to be able to do it?

I pooped at the mire.

I just kept going to poop at the mire.

So you wouldn't do it on the grounds.

You would get in the car, drive presumably miles down the road.

Yes.

Very much like 15 miles down the road.

It was like a half hour, 45 minute drive.

I'd just drive out there.

I've never been to Alpena, but it sounds like a place where your nearest neighbor might be

12 miles away.

My nearest neighbor was in the house that I was in the driveway.

Yeah, you were lucky enough to have a real close by neighbor staying on the grounds with you.

So you would go to the, that's the grocery store.

You love to shit at the grocery store.

I do.

I do.

I love shit at the grocery store.

I did that in Michigan or in Canada, too.

I clogged the toilet at a

did you know that I thought about that just like two days ago?

Because it was the grocery store I shop at.

Brian was staying with Stefan, who lives in the same exact neighborhood as me, same grocery store.

In a really nice

grocery store,

Save On Foods, is it's called, and it's absolute shit.

Fuck Save on Foods, fuck overweighty foods, fuck

Now I want to remember his...

Now I don't even remember his fucking name, the old piece of shit who owns that.

We absolutely hate him.

We hate the grocers in Canada.

They're a bunch of crooks.

There's like five of them.

And they just, our groceries are so expensive.

It's actually fucking crazy how expensive they are.

Grocers are like criminal syndicates.

They're like cartels.

Yeah, they really are.

They have territory.

and shit.

It's crazy.

Yeah, when the pandemic was, and they own like, so there's just a couple of them that own all the different stores.

You think there's a bunch of grocery stores, but they're not.

They're like, yeah, every single one of them is owned by this same old creep who's like 100 years old.

But yeah, Brian's shit in there.

And I was shopping in there the other day, and I actually thought about that as I walked by the washroom because I never, never gone in the washroom, obviously there.

But I was like, there it is.

There's a lot of good.

Here's a good thing.

This guy says.

These comments make me laugh.

One of the things that differentiates Canada from the U.S.

is that you you can piss wherever you want without fear of being arrested and fined if you gotta go you gotta go that should be a human right i'm in nature

in the candidates saying that you can you can do indecent exposure with no penalty you can pee anywhere you want up there they're they don't mind it at all yeah that is a big difference where we're able to piss wherever we want whereas in america you have to piss in specified locations i mean this is just one of the dumb this is one of the low classes if it's like, you just gotta maybe try to hide your penis, but they do let you pee wherever you want there.

It's it's one of the classic things that Canadians will do sometimes where it's just like, we just assume that on, we're like, we're so much better than America in every single way, you know, that like America is just like the worst place.

And we're like, yeah, we're just like a little bit better than them.

People think this way all the time, but really, I've said it many times that, you know, people in Seattle and Vancouver, it's just the same city.

You know, it's just the same.

It's so remarkably similar.

There's obviously big, you know, issues now with your country and everything.

It's not the same city because

you can't pee outside on any building you want in Seattle.

But again, you can't really do that in Vancouver.

You do it all the time.

This guy says this Canadian guy was like, yeah,

if the police catch you doing that.

I'm just fancy conflicting accounts, Chris.

What is it?

Yeah,

if the police are pleased or not.

I feel like even in America, you can get away with peeing on buildings a lot as long as you're not caught.

I think it's a similar situation.

But in Canada, the cops will look out for you.

What do you mean?

If they see you peeing on a building, they're like, hey,

we'll watch out.

Yep.

The Vancouver Police Department are not nice people.

I just want to be clear.

They're not no.

In Canada, though, they're nice people.

Let's look at this early morning rant from this guy.

We love rants here and uh this is very calming camping experience and this is the weakest man and i love this camping in a forest service campground last night was awoken at 7 a.m by the lady next campsite over chopping wood now

i don't think you can be mad at that

i think this and and the comments will bear that out where it's like okay

Ladies chopping fucking wood.

It's camping.

At 7 a.m.

Man, that's that's camping is a...

First off, you don't sleep in for camping.

Famously, it's something you wake up very early when you camp.

It's just part of it.

And yeah, chopping wood is a really big part of camping.

It's one of the biggest parts.

Yeah.

It's not like playing your stereo

really loudly in the morning.

It's doing something that it will, you know, help you to do all of the other things you need to do for the rest of the day.

Cooking food, staying warm at night, all of important things during camping.

I think you could have probably waited until 11 to eat breakfast.

Yeah.

Chris, did you by chance have a hatchet on your camping trip where your friend kind of...

Well, he did.

Oh, that's good.

I'm sure that added enough.

Yeah, oh, he, oh, yeah, he was a real outdoorsman.

Yeah, he had, you know, he had a

machete.

He had a machete, of course, you know.

You know, everything that you

could cut all kind of stuff up with.

He goes, the entire campsite is asleep.

30 sites.

This lady has an entire giant motorhome, which had the generator on the entire afternoon and evening.

Also, legal times, according to the people in the comments.

It sucks that people have these generators camping and they are very loud and very annoying.

You know what I mean?

If you're trying to get peace and quiet, like 10 RVs running a generator is kind of shitty.

I guess, I guess, and I understand there are plenty of people who just want to go to like an easy-to-access campground and still have that peace and quiet, and they should be entitled to that as well.

But I just think that there's probably places that you can go where if you want to have camping and you don't want to be surrounded by those types of douchebags, that you can go and do that.

You know, you just maybe it has to be a little bit more remote, perhaps.

But, like, yeah, that's what I think is if you hate generators and stuff like that, do a little bit different type of camping.

I love this next line.

No thought to chop the night before.

When I arrived at 5 p.m., she and her husband were and dog were just chilling.

What the hell?

Just hanging out not working?

Oh, I get it.

You're going to wake up in the morning and work, right?

Oh, that's very convenient work schedule you've made for yourself on your camping trip.

That's so funny.

I noted that they weren't doing any work at night when I got there.

At 5 p.m., they were not busy at all.

They were just sitting around by a fire.

That's like what you do even when you're at home at 5 o'clock.

You're not even working then normally.

Perhaps you've heard the song, it's five o'clock somewhere, where it's like,

now the workday begins.

He goes, lately, I don't tolerate any public nuisance from boomers.

I can't any longer.

So I got out of my tent, went over and said, good morning.

She said the same.

And I said, are we done chopping now?

For now, I am.

Sounds like you got owned by that lady.

Sounds like she dogwalked you in that conversation.

Yeah, she's like, I'm done now.

Yeah.

we're going to have to chop wood later on in the day because I'm burning it.

So you're saying you came up and said, good morning.

She said, good morning.

And he said, we done chopping wood?

And she said, yeah, for now.

Meaning that I don't care what you have to say.

I am done on my own accord and I will chop more wood later.

Wow, sounds like a good way for them to set up their little thing right next to your tent.

It's so funny to me that the guy, this lady probably doesn't even know she got owned.

This is like an OP prank.

This is an OP prank type thing where she kind of, she's leaving this scenario being like, oh, I actually got the, I had the better hand in that.

Like, I, and it's like, she doesn't even realize that she just got her ass handed to her by one of the masters.

Chris, from the story we have, she could have just walked away and said that the guy next to us is really nice.

Oh, yeah.

You know what I mean?

But he didn't say anything.

No.

Like insulting.

He said, good morning.

He said, good morning, which is a really nice greeting.

You know what I mean?

It's a really

pleasant greeting, really polite.

You know, good morning.

Oh, hey, good morning.

That's like,

yeah, you're being really nice.

And then I also thought that he was going to offer to help chop, too.

Yeah, she could have been like, we done chopping.

And because even we done

almost like, you know, like, hey, maybe I could, yeah, she might have thought, hey, later on, you can come do some chopping.

Yeah, if you want to join in, we're going to be chopping some more lighter.

That's for sure.

Your hands look real soft, but we got some gloves you could wear if you wanted to.

Got those dishpan hands.

This is the worst rant I've ever seen.

Well, not the worst.

I mean, we have a guy, but this is one of the worst rants I've ever seen because this guy

did nothing.

This is the most nothing guy.

He goes, I could tell she had no thought for the others around her.

The chopping sound had echoed throughout the campsite.

Sounds cool as hell, to be honest.

that's like the sounds of the forest.

Yeah,

I know we're sharing space and this type of activity can be expected at this hour, but damn, man, it's 7 a.m.

on a Saturday and you're chopping.

Saturday?

Look, like, that fucking matters when you're camping.

Like, what does the day of the, like, oh, you're

a woods forest job that you're working Monday to Friday?

Like, what are you talking about?

Every day is Saturday when you're out camping.

You're camping.

Yeah, on vacation.

Yeah, famously.

I just totally try.

I didn't even think of like him saying on a Saturday because I was like, yeah, you know,

I like, like, I try not to bother Katie when she's sleeping on Saturday.

She's got to go to work every day through the week.

But we're at home.

If we were camping, it's seven o'clock in the morning.

You just get up.

You get up and there's dew all over it.

It's horrible.

Yes.

Camping is an early morning thing.

You get woken up by the sounds of the forest and stuff like that.

You're not going to really be that well shaded from the sun probably in your tent.

So you're going to get woken up with the sunrise that's just kind of part of it

yeah this guy goes 7 a.m isn't that early for a campground in my experience also i'll take the sound of wood being chopped any day over a generator or a dog barking can you bring earplugs next time for this type of situation

that's not the response you want to hear when you're when you're on reddit looking for support that

this guy goes his pnw outdoors he goes yeah 7 a.m is early for me but let's not pretend that the birds haven't been chirping and the sun hasn't been up for at least two hours by that point.

I'm asking earplugs or deal with it.

So, yep, that's one of my brethren, by the way, as well, because PNW is Pacific Northwest.

So that's where I live there.

So that's voted all to hell on this.

Yeah, it looks like you, yeah, you've come to find support and you've found zero support.

You found out that you are the asshole, I guess.

This guy goes, and this is such a good thread.

This guy goes, sorry, but I expect people camping to be up and and added at 7 a.m.

in campgrounds, especially since that's well past dawn in most of the northern hemisphere.

And so, yeah, chopping wood then is within normal, within normal.

Pretty normal for anyone used to camping or rural life, actually.

Not happy about generator use, but of course it depends on the campground rules.

If within those hours, maybe choose a campground where they aren't allowed.

That is true.

So in the story, I believe he complains about a generator, but all most campgrounds that allow generators have hours.

So that's what I was going to, that's what I was going to say.

So there are a lot of campgrounds that just don't allow generators.

Just go to one of those.

And maybe I guess I'm saying that, and that is a little bit, who knows?

It could be in an area where there isn't a good one that allows.

Here comes an incredible own, guys.

I fail to see how this has anything to do with age either.

Maybe city folk of a certain age expect to sleep to noon in campsites as if it's festival camping.

But out in the west where we camp, the youngs are up and it's up and at it before seven for early surfing, hunting, climbing, bike or dirt bike riding, and all sorts of stuff.

Getting them to chop wood for a breakfast fire is often an imposition on their fun at that hour.

So again, sorry, just don't see the problem, but I see your stern good morning, put her in her place.

I see your

stern good morning, put her.

So he's saying what we're saying, that like, also, it didn't sound like you told her off at all.

This guy goes, not defending the lady, but most campgrounds I go to, quiet hours, end at 7 I know it's not cool to go right at 7, but she's probably not breaking any rules.

OP replies.

He's had enough.

Well, no, he's found one that he can, he's found one that he can actually respond to, right?

Because this is like about the hours or whatever.

You know, he couldn't really respond to the other ones because they're just like, you're a fucking idiot.

You're totally wrong.

This one, he can sink his teeth into.

He goes, I mean, she must have started chopping at 6:59 a.m.

on the dot.

She had very strong, I like to make others miserable for fun energy, not exaggerating.

And it's like,

you also sound like a petty dude.

You sound like the guy.

You sound like the guy.

She's not doing that.

Like, you're the one who is like stopping people from doing camping and being like,

6, 15, you're going to start right at 7.

You're the wet blanket.

Here's my thing.

You're engaging in a pursuit that is about making yourself a little uncomfortable by design and bitching and you're marking out orders about noise.

Yeah, it's true.

It's part of being out there.

Stuff is going to be a little bit different and uncomfortable.

And it's like, it takes you, yeah.

This guy really doesn't.

It's either his first camping trip ever, or like, or he just doesn't understand the sort of concept of camping, really.

So, this is the first post where I realized that reviews are where it's at for camping.

This is reviews of campgrounds.

Yes.

This is actually just a Reddit post.

Let me look at where this place is because there will be some in Kentucky.

I don't know if...

So this is in Pennsylvania.

It's in Colorado.

I think this is in Colorado.

Lady goes, this place is not, it's called the Starlight Glampground.

So this is glamping, which, by the way, again, I think sucks.

I think it just, I think clamping just sucks.

I think it depends, man.

Like, I think that concept of it kind of sucks because I think just going to a hotel, I think it's like a thing for really rich people.

So I think that there's like really rich options that are probably good in the sense that they're like, you know what I mean?

It just allows you to be in something with like a skylight where you can see the whole stars, but you're in some yurt or whatever that's like has all everything that you want.

So I think it's a matter of spending a bunch of money for it.

So I think it could be good.

But yeah, I think the concept of camping still so like the toilets aren't gonna

be like i think they'll have toilets no they'll just have no toilets in them that's what i think though

there's i think there's glamping that just where you can have like

good everything and just be out in the woods or whatever well he goes this is this place is nothing like it advertised online we arrived from out of state the afternoon of friday october 6th 2023.

now tom you laugh that is a common problem with campgrounds they never look like they were online.

Everybody says that in the things.

And it's like,

I mean, what is a campground

other than like a place that's like a to it's a parking lot, is what I'm saying.

That's all it really is.

What else is there to it?

I guess the surrounding area, the like views, you know what I mean?

Sort of, that's kind of what you're, but yeah, the actual thing itself is probably going to be pretty underwhelming to look at.

And you're supposed to put your stuff there and make that a place.

Yeah.

Like, what do you think a campground should look like?

I know what they're saying, but I just don't know what logistically, like, what is it supposed to look like?

I kind of understand maybe where they're coming from.

They're wrong, but I understand is I think maybe they're...

They see the photos and the photos have a bunch of people camping there and stuff looks all nice and fun.

And then they get there and they're like, these people aren't here anymore.

Like, well, yeah, the photo was taken two years ago, and those people are not, they're somewhere else now.

And now it's just an empty lot or whatever, and it looks not impressive anymore.

That kind of makes sense.

When we arrived, there was no one around except for a young man on a tractor.

He stopped long enough to yell our direction that he was removing one of the tents.

As we started looking around, we noticed some things that were concerning.

The hot tub was foamy and ice cold.

I'm going to have to tell you something.

I am with them on this.

Anytime I've ever rented a cabin or some sort of like pastoral getaway that's not quite camping, but just puts the difference, the hot tub, you

ride it off.

You're not getting a hot tub that's going to work.

It's not going to be hot when you get there.

If the best, it's going to be like sitting in bath water.

I would never do it.

I'll tell you what.

If that water ain't scorching hot at some communal ass fucking

basement tub i'm not sitting in some tepid water you know that i yeah

i mean yeah exactly brian i would have what about in an unfinished basement

well i've heard that that water is very hot

that's not don't laugh at that

listen you know i'm a bad guy uh he goes the hot tub was foamy and ice cold and you're right tom we even stayed at kind of a cabin type place together when we were on tour that time and the hot tub didn't fucking work.

It didn't fucking work.

It never fucking works.

It's like the

Machine McDonald's or something.

Like it's all

fritz.

He goes, there were, so this part's really funny.

There were three of the largest spiders I've ever seen next to the hot tub.

So

you can't, listen, I think

spiders are going to be out there.

I don't know.

You kind of have a spider guard around it.

Spiders are really smart in getting around that kind of thing.

That's true.

This is great.

He goes, the bathroom was okay, although we only had hot water for a few minutes, so you better be very quick.

At night, it was very dark.

And the walkway.

Hang on, I'm kind of on his side now.

That sounds fucked up.

You told me at night time, it got what?

What did you say?

What was the words he used?

Very dark.

That's not cool.

That's not cool.

And it's cold.

The night's dark.

What is this fun?

Go on and sleep.

This is crazy.

If I were to go to somewhere and you're paying like a couple hundred dollars and all of a sudden at night gets fucking dark,

outside has spotters and that's dark.

Unbelievable.

This is a one-star review, okay?

The darkness.

It's not like he's giving God a one-star review.

Yeah.

Excuse me, God, could we get a little more sunlight, please?

Our tent was supposed to sleep four.

It did not.

We ended up getting a blow-up air mattress because there was one double bed and a day bed.

The blankets were paper thin and only one per bed.

And it got down to the 50s and became extremely windy.

We were supposed to have air conditioning and heat in the tent.

We had no heat.

The sides of the tent were not attached to the base.

So as the wind picked up extremely over the course of the night, we were all up late.

because the sides of the tent were slapping back and forth on top of the extreme cold.

This is like a Bugs Bunny cartoon or something.

This gets so nuts.

It's so good.

It's so good.

The double bed, he goes, the double bed started falling apart as the bolts and slats were falling off the bed.

The Wi-Fi never worked the entire weekend.

And being out in the middle of nowhere with little to no cell service, Verizon, made it impossible trying to arrange weekend plans.

Then the cherry on top.

This is so good.

After we arrived and started noticing all the issues, we contacted the owner, Heather, and she apologized.

uh and you can go screenshots of apology not knowing what to say not including the actual phone conversations we had

and she sent the property manager over to the property she pam arrived with her minor child ezra as pam began

don't say the child's name no because i don't know his last name No, but not you.

I'm saying them at the review.

Why are they bringing this innocent child into it?

Oh, there's a reason.

Bringing a little puffer in the middle of the middle.

Ezra can say innocent is all I'm going to say.

Oh, Ezra's a little.

Ezra, he was a little stupid himself.

Pam and Ezra are

a problem.

He goes, as Pam began just dumping chemicals into the hot tub, she sent this 16-ish young man, Ezra, to go clean the pool.

The mom, Pam, stated he was very upset because he had to leave a carnival to come help.

It's such an old-timey thing.

Ezra had had to leave the carnival to come and help me.

As he sat glaring at us and making comments.

Was it fucking for the carnival or just

was he just hanging out there?

And that sounds like he's just having a good time at the carnival and he had to come and do this.

He was pissed off about it.

Yes, because he goes, as he sat glaring at us and making comments under his breath, it got so uncomfortable that we asked him if he had something he'd like to say.

He responded, I don't fucking need anything from you.

Okay, so it's so funny because in my mind, I was picturing Ezra as this cute little like

four or five-year-old kid with like a little

like two-piece like a suit on, but with little shorts, you know, just looking so cute.

Hello, I'm Ezra.

Like he's maybe British or whatever.

Turns out he's a, this guy, he's a real troubled teen, it sounds like.

This is a guy that both Tom and I, we know what he looks like without even seeing him.

Not even seeing it.

Yeah, I don't need to see him at all to know exactly.

He doesn't have a shirt on.

He's wearing basketball shorts.

like it's just i know what he looks like i grew up with ezra you know what i mean the mom pam stated oh okay as he sat he goes i don't need anything from you he then threw down the skimmer and charged towards us i stood between him and the other three of my party charged you i don't know i mean i don't know maybe yes i'm not gonna say he didn't charge you but i feel like there's more to it i like like i just i don't feel like just based on the information we have that he's just like, you asked him nicely if he needed something and he's just like, I don't need shit from you.

Trying to beat the shit out of you.

Like, that seems like, I don't know Ezra, but I don't know.

It seems a little wild to act that way.

He goes, I stepped between him and the other three of my party as I was the oldest of the group.

Oh, yeah.

The oldest all of you.

Yeah, the oldest always has a fight.

I escorted him, following at a safe distance, back towards his mom's vehicle, yelling at him that he needed to get back in the car.

The entire time he was screaming at me, calling me a fat bitch and other derogatory names.

She said, ear pitched on the way to the leading to the no, she was doing the gun thing.

Don't look back.

Like,

she was escorting him, and he was way ahead of her.

And she's like, Let's go.

You know what I mean?

At a certain point, he turned on me, throwing his phone down on the ground, and ripping his sweatshirt off, then charged at me.

Ezra,

Ezra.

Ezra, I had your back, man.

Ezra,

I was

speaking up for you, and now it turns out it sounds like

you're a monster.

You're an actual monster.

And this is not rare for campgrounds.

We're going to read a few more reviews where the owners are psychotic.

Like, it just seems like...

It seems like a business that you can have that doesn't have the same cost as like, oh, I'd like to run a hotel.

I'd like to run.

like it just seems like you can buy a big lot

put some posts with some numbers on it and say go ahead you know park your car here some people are unprofessional in the field you're saying yeah because it's not a hard field to get into you know what i mean like you said it's not even a field it's a goddamn lot it is basically

like what is what

like okay but you could put mini golf there and that would be cool you know what i mean but yeah i love mini golf you know

He goes, at a certain point, he turned on me, throwing his phone down onto the ground or ripping his sweatshirt off and charged at me.

I was wearing glasses, so I threw them onto the ground, expecting to get hit by this young man that was a miner, but as big as I am.

I just yelled, bring it, motherfucker.

I think it surprised him that I reacted like that.

And that was my intention, to stop him in his tracks.

It worked as his mother came running and grabbed him, telling him to get back in the vehicle.

There happened to be another camper that had arrived, and he was yelling at the kid to stop being disrespectful and to get into the car.

The mother then tried to make excuses that

he just thought I was going to attack his mom or something along those lines.

So he's a, you know, which was not true.

She wasn't even near us when this happened.

At that point, Pam, the mother, made a call to the owner, Heather, stating that I had attacked her son.

Fucking hell vacation.

Just such a fucking hell vacation.

It's so

ending up on a police body cam footage on YouTube.

I know.

I know.

And you say this is the median camping experience.

Yes.

Let's go to another one real quick here.

How about this one?

KOA Campground, which is

no, wait, let me get you the good one here.

Let me find it.

This is Natural Bridge Campground.

Hold on.

That's my neck in the woods.

That is.

That's nice.

Do you have any from my neck?

Not really, because people are super Porto Cove Provincial Park.

Porteau

Porteau R-T-E-A-U.

Provincial Park.

I don't know that one.

It sounds French.

It might be in Quebec, but I don't know.

This guy at Natural Bridge Campground, he goes, do not camp here.

The cabins may be nice, but the campground and tent camper facilities are extremely disappointing.

The bathrooms look as though they have not been cleaned in months.

The showers are on disrepair and are full of bugs and dirt.

Secondly, the quote property manager took things from our site.

When we confronted him about it, he said he'd not seen the goods, but

sometimes things come up missing.

Later that day, he returned the goods and said that they had just turned up.

Oh, remember the stuff we were talking about earlier?

Man, it's so weird.

This guy came in.

He was like, see, yeah, he's like this weird guy, really nondescript kind of guy, just came and was like, hey, I stole these and I've felt bad about it.

I felt guilty and I'd like to return them.

I feel like I'm like, yeah, I've got five nod brown hair.

I don't know.

Five, nine brown hair.

Definitely dirty brown hair.

Yeah, dirty brownish hair.

Yeah, and it's funny to imagine him like

thinking like in the office like, okay, I was, I was, I stole this stuff, but I think they kind of know it was me.

Yeah.

So I'm just going to return it so I I don't get in trouble.

Yeah, that's a classic thief move.

Like a class, you know, like, oh, shit, I've been caught.

Let's figure out how to get out of this.

What's the best way out of it?

And he figured they might call the police and they know I'm a suspect now.

So let's just give it back to them.

Yeah.

This guy goes, I won't be staying here again.

The location is nice, but the experience was terrible.

First, we paid online for wood to be left at our campsite.

Then we got there and there was no wood.

When I asked someone about it, they told me I could get some from the pile in the registration area.

Hey, just just go over there and grab some.

You know, I mean,

honestly, though, listen, just go get the wood, though.

I will say this, having stayed here, you have to drive through like an old tunnel that's like drilled out of the mountain, like you'd like, you know, like one of those old railway tunnels.

And it's about three miles down the road with no cell service to go get the firewood.

I know this exact place they're talking about.

Oh, I see.

So it's not just a go-grab it.

It's right there.

That is a real.

The registration is well before you actually get to the actual side.

I gotcha.

The next issue is that the bathroom had no water and the shower houses were being renovated or fixed or something.

Again, not a big deal.

I brought water and soap with me.

What got us to pack them and leave two days early was on our first night.

One of the guys that worked there came over to apologize to us again and made jit-jack, which was fine, except for that he was wasted and stayed for an hour talking to us and taking shots until we made an excuse to run to the gas station.

Oh,

he lingered?

This guy lingered on your ass.

There is nothing worse

than somebody like that lingering on your ass in like you're just having a family vacation or whatever, trying to spend some quality time and some fucking stranger just won't leave.

Oh, drunk guy taking shots while he's talking to you.

So not with you.

He didn't say like we're taking shots.

He doesn't say that.

No, no.

He was just taking shots of alcohol while going on and on with these people who any sober person could have been able to discern did not want to talk to him but because he was so drunk he's just like oh they're hanging on my every word so he told him we had to run to the gas station he finally got back in his truck and drove back to the registration he drunkly got in his truck and drove back to the registration going to sleep at night was a bit unsettling and the hollering and loud tractor noises later tonight didn't help the next day i had two guys come and make sure to let them know if I wanted to take a shower.

The water is on the shower hose now, so I should let them know when I want to take one.

Seeing as you don't need a key to access it or anything, it came off as a bit creepy.

We spent the entire time we were there glancing over to make sure no one was coming over to bug us.

So I was like, oh, let me read another review.

And Sam says, friendly people, but I can't lie and say that this place wasn't terrible to stay at.

We were super creeped out by an old drunk guy that that wouldn't stop trying to talk to us.

And the showers.

Same guy, yeah.

And the showers and bathrooms were unkempt, to say the least.

The lonely lingerer.

Have you heard the tale of the lonely lingerer they tell it around the campfire there?

It's the scariest fucking beast of the forest.

I know.

And

listen, you're right, Chris.

The worst feeling in the world is a drunk guy that won't stop talking to you.

Oh, my gosh.

When you're sensing the like and finding out he's older, too, gives another wrinkle of sadness because when you just sort of realize that there's this loneliness attached to it, where he's just like desperate for this contact with people, but it's like, you're not his people.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, you're not the people for him.

He needs to find other people.

And now you're just held hostage with his loneliness and desperation.

Oh,

there is a, he goes, a positive thing was that the bathrooms were very clean and maintained.

However, there was no water coming out of the showers.

And when it finally came out, it was so ice cold, it hurt my head.

Yes.

Oh, it's so cold.

It froze to my head.

The water being so cold that it hurts your head is really funny.

Like, it's, I guess it's like a shock shock to your, right?

It's like a shock.

It's like a feeling of like, you know, something can be so cold that it hurts, I guess, right?

Like be ice cold in that way.

But yeah, that is.

The water was so cold it hurt my head.

Yeah, that's

such a funny complaint.

I know another guy that hates cold water.

And he would be real mad about that.

Yeah, we don't know that he's passed away, just to be clear.

You don't know that.

He quit going on Yelp.

I choose to believe that he gave up with his online yelping and that he's living a nice life, drinking the most room-temp water you could ever imagine while listening to super quiet, sort of jazz-like music.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's what I like too.

Because there were so many security lights at night, it was hard to sleep and impossible to see stars.

The worst part, though, is that there are young people who hang out in the rest area parking lot at night and play loud music and rev their engines we put up with it for almost an hour and finally called the after-hour number to the campground they were rude and responded with what do you want us to do about it which

is nobody in eastern kentucky that would say what do you want us to do about it they would like profusely apologize and they would they wouldn't do anything about it so the end result would be the same but you're still but they would say what do you want us to do about it

they're probably very drunk though.

When they called, they were, you got to imagine that the person that answered the phone was very drunk.

Good man, though.

That's true.

Yeah.

Because he seems to be just a menace.

There were so many reviews of him.

People being like, and then the owner was drunk and he wouldn't leave my campsite.

It's like, damn.

The lonely linger arrives again.

That is, that's tough, man.

But he's the owner.

That makes me feel less bad.

Like, he's not, it's not some employee who's ruining the business for some kind old man or whatever.

This one is really strange

because it is Porto Cove Provincial Park.

It's in Canada.

I should look up where it's at, but I did.

And I thought it was near Vancouver.

It came up when I searched Vancouver.

Maybe

let me see.

I mean, it could be.

I'm going to look it up.

Porto Cove Provincial Park.

Well, I just want to read this one review that is very strange to me.

Oh, this is in Squamish.

Can I be honest with you?

Yeah.

So this is in Squamish.

This is where I...

Is the Port-au-Cove campground the one that I...

I mean, Squamish is where I had that horrible camping trip that was so scary.

Oh.

It was not in this campground, but it was in the same.

That would be a great circle moment.

That would have been incredible.

I ended up the show.

Next time I should lie and say that.

You know, they just become.

You don't lie anymore after last week.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, wait, never mind.

After the week

after Sharpling called you out for being a devil and a trickster.

He called me a devil, a trickster, and a liar, yeah.

I mean, I lied to him a number of times.

I, you know, in his defense, I was constantly lying.

I do lie all the time on the podcast.

I'm lying 50 to 75% of the time.

But yeah, no more.

I'm not going to do that anymore.

So the truth is, I was at a different campsite in the same place, Squamish, which is a city

about two hours, hour and a half, two hours north of Vancouver.

This is a really strange review because the reviewer is 100% in the wrong here.

Like, there's just no

let Tom and I decide on that.

One star, beautiful park, of course, but there's no way to rent anything out, like kayaks or scuba equipment.

You have to bring your own of everything.

I think this place is only designed for locals, really.

There's no cafe, no place anywhere remotely close to buy goggles.

There's nowhere to buy goggles.

That Mickey Mouse outfit they're running there.

Oh, my God.

Okay, first off, you set up the goggle depot, and then you build everything around it.

I mean, yeah, if you don't have the infrastructure for the goggles, it's like, yeah, I got news for you.

It's not going to work.

I really feel it.

I'm guessing this is somewhere where you do.

That's weird.

Yeah, I'm guessing it's somewhere where you do snorkeling or something like that.

Maybe it's just a park where you camp.

Like a beautiful.

Well, I I think it must be because he's making reference to a lot of

stuff like diving.

Well, he goes, so I just had a really bad time and spent a ton of money to get here just to kind of sit there, really.

Obviously, the place is beautiful.

Look.

That's literally what camping is.

You go off to a remote.

People believe that.

Remote location and you sit there and you fucking relax.

You don't do anything.

A fundamental problem with all these reviews is people want camping to be something that's just not.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They want all this like adventure.

You can do all of that stuff.

And camping is just a time.

You go, you maybe spend a time with your friends.

You know, you sit around a campfire and you tell a story.

Again, sit there around a campfire.

Yeah.

Well, don't be chopping wood, though.

Yeah, well, it depends.

I mean, you can't be doing it at the crack of seven.

I mean, that's a

ridiculous.

Obviously, the place is beautiful, but that has nothing to do with how they run the place.

The Rangers couldn't give a shit either and don't care about helping you.

So the Rangers aren't going to help you.

They don't have goggles.

I was just going to say they don't have goggles to give you.

And it's clear that that, like, I'm sure they could help you with certain things, but the issues you had were outside of what they were able to help with.

Now, there are only a few of these in Canada, but it's a huge thing here in KOA campgrounds.

By the way, growing up, I was like, if it's not a KOA, it's a shithole.

You know what I mean?

So they're like kind of the bolero?

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, I would say that.

They're a corporate entity.

Tom, you know about them?

Tom, you're aware of?

I'm aware of KOA.

You see them on the side of the road from time to time.

So they're like everywhere.

They're just everywhere.

It's like a chain of campgrounds.

Like a chain of campgrounds almost.

This is a place that I have so many good memories at.

And it's called Yogi Bears Jellystone Park.

Sounds good.

When you're a kid, that does sound like a real dreamland.

I stayed there when I was like 13, and I was like, this is the coolest place in the world.

Because they had like mini golf, they had a pool, they had an arcade, they had a bunch of Yogi Bear-themed stuff.

It was just really cool.

Now, now with bear unemployment near at 100%,

you know, not as magical, you know.

One star.

We camped in tents with our children.

We were extremely disappointed when arriving at our campsite.

I only have this here because there is a line line that is so funny to me.

Just personally, he goes, we didn't have one tree on our campsite.

The day was hot with no clouds and we had no shade at all.

The camping area was a bed of mulch right next to the road, which by the fucking way, that's what a camping area is.

If you're going to a campground,

what do you expect?

It's just a lot.

It's a place to park your fucking thing, you know?

But this is the part that made me laugh.

The picnic table was on a hill.

Our food and drinks kept spilling.

Just continually

setting them back up.

Like, you chose the spot.

Tom, you said the other one was like a Bugs Money cartoon.

This is like a Bugs Money cartoon, too.

Just setting up the food as it falls and somebody else is underneath, grabbing it all.

Shit.

Yogi Bear.

I say this not without.

These are some of the dumbest people I've I've ever heard of.

I mean, to say that,

yeah, just the idea that the food kept falling off is crazy to me.

If it fell off one time, that makes sense.

Not even, though.

I think you should be able to see as a human being, like, this is going to be iffy here if I put the food on here.

I think that the angle, it might not stay, so I'm not going to risk it.

Maybe they thought they put some stickum on it.

Yeah, that's

so fucking fun.

They continued to try to make it work with that and continued continued to fail throughout their trip.

They're trying to level it out a little bit.

They didn't actually try to do anything.

They actually were like, what if I put the food here and then it slid off?

Can we be really...

This was kind of expensive.

Can we be careful?

Oh, and it's gone.

And then a piano fell on my husband out of nowhere.

He had keys for teeth.

So funny.

When I expressed my concern to the staff at Jellystone, instead of offering ways to make it feel more safe, such as an umbrella for shade or trying to level the area around the campfire.

They didn't even offer us an umbrella or to level off.

They didn't even bring in a landscaping unit to level off the area.

Like they didn't even consult the city and they didn't do any surveying or anything like that to get this shit level off.

Like it's insane to me.

Like we just have all the

permits ready to go.

They didn't have all the paperwork and we paid $45 to stay there that night.

So it's kind of weird.

They didn't come with a bulldozer and level out my campground.

You know what I mean?

They could have taken dirt away or added more dirt.

That's the way you solve this problem.

There is an astonishing amount of people in America that don't really know that America is all about like...

putting as little investment as possible in and maximizing as much as you can from that.

It's like they really think the customer is always right.

And that's like a real ethos that everybody lives by.

Yeah, that's a good thing.

That's the Airbnb thing, right?

You never, I stayed in a very nice Airbnb in Trinidad, California earlier in the year.

And

there was a hot tub there, but the picture that was taken of the hot tub was done in such a way that it didn't show

that it was a tiny little triangle and only two people could fit in the hot tub.

There was no way to fit a third person in the hot tub.

The couch was really uncomfortable, but it's like it's beautiful, it's right on the ocean.

Fine, I'll deal with it.

But it like traveling is the best place for you to understand

that everybody is trying to spend the least amount of money possible to give you the minimal amount of comfort anywhere you stay.

You know what I mean?

Like, they're like, how,

how little comfort do I have to

give before

it starts being

so bad where it's like the reviews are hurting my ability to rent it out?

They have to just like find that line.

You know me.

You know, I'm an Airbnb host.

You know, I've been an Airbnb host for five years now.

I own a number of properties that I rent out.

I always say that the customer, you know me, Brian, my...

I always say the customer is always right.

And that's because I lock the left side of my house that has the bathroom and the kitchen in it.

We did just, we did just read a person

a couple weeks ago

okay so they go

uh the owners yelled at me and asked me to leave i said my children were in their swimsuits and ready to swim and they tried to kick me out again saying that they spent their life savings on this place

still very hard to believe that is how the that is how they treat our guests at this point knowing that the owners of jellystone were not going to do anything to make our stay better although they eventually brought an umbrella okay so one of the two two things,

the one obtainable thing that they could do, they did for you.

The one possible thing they

were able to help.

And then I want to apologize as well.

I know I said I wasn't going to lie anymore.

I want to clear the air.

I'm not a trickster.

He's a trickster.

I'm not.

I don't have any properties that I rent out on Airbnb.

Now,

here's a perfect thing.

Okay.

He goes.

We tried to make the most of it.

It was hard to sleep with the proximity of the campsites.

Lots of noise until

midnight.

I did actually fall sideways in my chair around the camp crowd.

I was just glad it wasn't one of the kids.

Wait, what?

You fell over, and that's in the review.

Fell sideways, sat down in her chair, rolled down the hill.

I'm just glad it wasn't one of the kids.

I'm just glad it was me, honestly.

Like, I can handle it, you know.

Not though, she could move.

I'm gonna put my chair on the hill.

Tried to sit down and chair.

I came fell off at a capital off, a large bear with a green tie and a smaller bear with a purple one.

I got the two of their picnic baskets.

I can't just.

I love the idea of putting in your review that, yeah, I tried to sit on my chair and I fell down a hill.

That's so good.

That's so good.

What else am I supposed to do?

I'm on a hill.

Yeah.

But this hill,

they could not conquer this hill.

The hill absolutely destroyed their vacation.

Well, somebody holding them at gunpoint and making them sit like in awkward angles on the side.

Oh, Tom, you don't understand, though, Tom.

You haven't seen the site.

The whole site was hill.

The whole site was hill.

It was like you couldn't, you were on a hill the whole time.

You couldn't get off the hill.

It was just, there was no area that was non-hill.

I like this one.

This is for KOA.

This is on Trust Pilot.

This is Alberta.

KOA Leduc, Alberta.

Oh, La Duc,

so much.

It is interesting.

Like, most of this is Canadian.

Like,

the research for this was mostly Canadian.

I didn't like search Canadian.

It just, you're probably right.

Canadians camp more than Americans.

I believe that's true, but it's a different type of camping, I will say.

I think the big lots where you're talking about where no trees are present, like these KOA ones, I don't think they're like that.

That's as big in Canada, I feel like.

Like, I've never really camped at a place like that that's where i camped growing up it was like a basically kind of a parking lot and then there would be trees and stuff like that and it would the spot would be sort of wooded but there's always just somebody right next to you on either side of you yeah yeah that's kind of that's kind of

yeah there's no real way unless you're like planning to go out hiking to the middle of nowhere.

There's no real way to camp without people being there.

I've been trying to get like a secluded cabin cabin for years.

I can't fucking find one.

I don't know how to figure it out.

What do you mean?

Like a place where I can't see any other people here.

What do you mean get one?

But I can go rent it.

This is my dream.

One of my dreams.

I want a cabin that is so secluded that I can walk outside and scream as loud as I can all day.

Can I say something to you, though?

I do believe you would enjoy that, but I think you'd get tired of you.

You know, I think you'd like to.

I'd like to do these guys.

You'd You'd like to be around people, I think, a little bit.

You don't think so?

You don't think you like to have people who aren't going to be

around when you want to watch people?

Yeah, when you walk around, I think you like to have people around.

I think you'd get a little bit bored.

I like being over people.

I like going weird people around.

This guy goes, absolutely ridiculous location to have a KOA right beside an airport.

That's funny.

I think Leduc isn't that big, though.

So I think everything is close to the airport, maybe there,

if I'm not mistaken.

Loud jets flying overhead all day and into the night.

The noise is unbearable.

You'll love this, Chris.

You'll identify with this.

As well, we were told internet would be slow on night of Edmonton hockey game.

However, internet service is bad regardless.

We tried to watch a movie in the middle of the day on June 17th when no hockey game was playing, and it constantly froze.

We can't get out of here fast enough.

Terrible, terrible experience.

Please take your cues from the Salt St.

Marie, Ontario KOA.

Sauce Steve,

yeah.

Well, it says

Sault Ste.

Marie.

Which is the best in Canada.

So I will say that Leduc is bigger than I thought.

So it is, you know, it's like 35,000 people or something like that.

But yeah,

I don't know about KOA.

I don't, do they exist in Vancouver?

They're everywhere.

I think

it stands for Campgrounds of America.

But I think they're just a chain.

It's like the Marriott.

They're like the main

campgrounds.

It's surprising to me that

I've never heard of that before.

It's surprising.

But not good.

It's a brand.

That's why when I was a kid, I was like, I want to stay at KOA because I was susceptible to brands.

It was also the reason why I wore Nikes and

cool clothes.

This is one last thing here, guys.

This is...

Well, I'll show you guys a picture because, you know, you deserve to see it.

And this is

an episode of Guys.

So it's going to have to get gross at some point.

I know we opened talking about piss for a while, but this is the Out Smart Gadgets outdoor portable toilet set for adults with camping night lantern, folding XL toilet, pop-up privacy tent and carry bags, multi-purpose potty, washable and foldable for RV travel.

So this is a turlet.

This is probably what my in-laws are using.

I've got some perspective on this, having used a similar thing.

You've used something like this?

Yeah, I'll tell you this.

If if you do this a lot if you're out in the woods a lot it's one of those things where like that one looks like the xl so it's like a sort of a natural for an american sitting motion to sit on and do your business on right gotcha what i used was not like that it was like a little pop-up tent and you sat on what looked like a chamber pot with like uh like a

you know like a pump gas can kind of thing attached to it you know what i mean yeah so the angle i was sitting at was like if you've seen somebody like,

you know, like in some countries where like you just kind of sit on the floor to shit, that's kind of the angle.

Very unnatural for an American.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, this guy, Thaddeus, says,

will be difficult to clean and impossible to fully dry.

I've not done business in this toilet.

I like it.

He keeps saying I've not done business in it.

He won't say shit.

He won't take a crap.

Yeah.

I tested with water and no matter how much I shake the black tank, even getting the mess on myself, I still can't get it to a point that I don't hear water sloshing.

I'm fairly certain I'll have to return this.

I've let it air dry overnight to no avail.

This and Yidah Home and a lot of others are all patented and manufactured by CHH.

I found this to be concerning because I chose this one over another brand because I thought Colri was an RV company instead of a home company.

Same product and manufacturer, just a different pricing.

I'm questioning if this business practice is even legal.

I don't think if I do business in this toilet, that I'll ever get it clean or even able to drain all the human waste.

Probably going to buy a Thetford.

Now, the reason I read this

is because I wanted to find out about the Thetford port-a-potty.

I'll show you a Thetford.

I think you guys will.

This is the best.

I don't understand how it works.

This is the top brand.

See,

that's the Cadillac.

Yeah, that's the Cadillac.

The Theta for the small, though.

I know.

I should have looked at other pictures, but it looks so small.

Yeah, it looks tiny.

So let's read a couple reviews of the Thetford, the Cadillac of Port-a-Potties.

Unless you like walking and piss, do not buy.

Okay.

Where do I put this?

And there's a picture, too.

I'll show you.

I'll let you guys have a picture of it.

It says,

bought this piece of crap about him.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Unless you're like walking in piss, do not buy.

What is the photo of?

Piss.

Yeah, I know, but where is the piss?

His car.

Oh, it's on the ground of his car.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

What the hell?

How would you do that?

Bought this piece of crap about a motherfucker?

Why would you do that in your car?

He's one of those sprinter van guys.

He's one of those sprinter van guys that we didn't really talk about.

Like, there's kind of a difference between like car camping, RV camping, sprinter van camping, and then tent camping.

And,

you know, the one I would do is RV.

I would love one of those huge RVs.

I've only ever done tent camping.

Yeah.

I'm a tent camping guy.

My parents had a camper, but it sucked.

It was like one of those ones that you like turn the crank and it pops up.

You know what I mean?

Pop-up.

They call it a pop-up.

I've done camping, tent camping.

I've done camping, no tent.

We would do that a lot.

Like in the summertime, if the weather is good, just tarp, like tarp over top.

Oh, you were tarping?

Yeah.

Well, yeah, I was tarping, but in a way that is acceptable, Brian.

No.

Disgusting.

I'm just going to toss it.

I'll never buy another one.

I'm just going to toss it in the trash.

So unless you like walking and piss and poop, I highly recommend not to buy this.

Well, I like walking and pissing poop.

I like how he said if don't buy unless you like walking and piss like three times in that review, yeah, because that's what he's been saying for like a week.

He tells everybody that.

What do you think of it?

Well, if you like, uh, I tell you, you'll love it if you like walking and pissing.

Big round of applause in his brain goes off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He said it to his wife a thousand times in the car.

You know what I mean?

Oh, I guess if you're like walking and pissing poo.

No, honestly, honey, no, no.

No, no, honey, honestly, I like it.

No, I get it, sweet.

I know what you're going to say.

No, no, honestly, honey, I like it.

I like the purchase because I actually like walking and pissing poo.

Oh, yeah.

And then he gets a laugh and he was like, nah, not.

Not.

This guy goes, bottom tank leaks out with the slightest movement.

I initially loved this, but as soon as it leaked, well, I would say yes.

I was loving it until a bunch of my piss and shit leaked all out of the bottom of it all over everything.

It was like, that was the point where I sort of fell out of love with this product.

I just don't think this is a possibility.

Like, I don't think portable toilet is a thing that is ever going to work flawlessly.

Yeah, I think you're right.

Yeah, it's a dangerous situation, I think, when you're, if you're going to be carrying around your piss and shit.

Don't walk at it.

You can't be carrying it around.

You got to get rid of it.

You got to get rid of it.

It's waste.

You've got to get rid of it.

Get it flushed away, thrown away out of your life.

Dare I say, I'd rather shit in a bag and throw it in the woods.

Yeah.

Well, that's, but you can't be doing that.

Just shit in the woods.

No, but the bag would be like a biodegradable bag.

Okay, cool.

But why don't you just shit in the woods?

Because I don't want my crap going all over the place.

Listen, here's what you do is you find like a

tree that's down, but gives you enough lift off the ground.

You just kind of hang your ass off the backside and then reach up.

I can't.

Very natural motion, honestly.

I can't.

That's how rare anything like this was.

We told a story for years when we were teenagers about this guy, Jeremy, taking a crap on a tree and wiping his ass with his underwear, and then leaving his underwear there.

But it was like in the city,

like

by the school that we used to smoke in the parking lot.

And like, he pooped outside, man.

Isn't that so crazy?

Like, that was like a crazy story to us.

And that ruined that, that swore you off of it after you.

Well, it was just like, I'm not fucking nuts.

Okay.

I'm not fucking crazy.

Yeah.

One time I was, we, we went, when we were like in maybe grade seven, so I would have been 12 or 13.

we did like a trip where we went portaging.

Do you know what that is?

Where you like, you canoe and then you carry the canoe.

So you're going like on a trip where you're like on the water and then you have to carry it over your head to the next lake or whatever.

Yeah.

And we were like, and they're huge lakes like on Vancouver Island that we were doing it at.

And the guy, my friend who I was in the canoe with, he had to take a shit.

And we like pulled over.

on the side of this beach like ahead of people to take a shit and then he like went to take a shit and then everybody just came around like all the canoes all the kids and all the teachers and like we had totally miscalculated it and he was like his ass facing towards where people were you know and he was like right on the shoreline just like so people are literally seeing like shit come out of his ass you know it was uh yeah so that was my that's my experience i've shit in the woods before though most definitely out camping yeah you have to do it sometimes man what else are you gonna do

uh just go camping for like three days.

You can hold shit for three days.

I cannot.

I can.

I mean, I have before

strength, really.

It's a strength thing.

Oh, yeah.

You think you can hold in your shit because you're physically stronger than me?

You're saying that you're saying that, like, my sphincter is not as strong as your sphincter and can't hold the shit in as well.

Yeah, mine works hard, dude.

All right, all right.

All right, finally, uh, just I initially loved this, but oh, yeah, as soon as it leaked on the slightest movement, it's practically useless.

It got on my hands.

Practically useless?

Yeah, I would say when it starts leaking your piss and shit out of there,

I wouldn't use it anymore.

Stained my carpet blue.

Might as well just pee on the floor.

I like the small size.

However,

coming back with some pros after you're like, yeah, it spilled piss and shit all over my floor, ruined my carpet.

I do like the

sauce.

I do like the compact design.

I had to flush three times for per peepee break, even not putting the tissue in the bowl.

No, Biggie, that's about the gest of it.

Spelled J-E-S-T.

And finally.

Oh, nope.

Nope.

That's it.

That's the gest of it.

Speaking of jest of it, Tom, I need to share this now.

Do you know that Tito Ortiz, the MMA fighter?

He believes that

the game chess, like that you play with, he believes that it's called chest with a T on the end.

And about 10 different times publicly, he has referred to it.

He has been quoted as saying, you know, boxing's like checkers and MMA is like chest.

And he actually thinks that's the word.

Somebody told him that nerd turned and prayed.

I don't know when it happened, but it's this phenomenon.

You can can see it on the internet where he's i mean he's one of the dumbest guys ever but that's particularly is just hits me for whatever reason that he's going around and no one corrects him ever

well yeah i mean

i got very intimidated

yeah yeah

well that is camping now i know what people are going to say

and it's kind of the same thing i do have a picture of the place in alpina by the way i i found the airbnb listing if you'd like to see it let me uh let bring it up here.

It'll be hard to see, though.

I can't actually get to the

hold on.

Oh, here it is.

Okay, here we go.

I'm going to show you this.

And in retrospect,

now when I'm looking at it, I should have known what was going on.

Oh, what the hell, man?

Yeah.

I mean, this is, this does not look.

I mean, it's, yeah, it's somebody's driveway, and it didn't look like it at first.

Look how nice that looks.

Well, it did say Catalina on the coach.

It does not.

I will say this, right?

I mean, they have a fire going.

You know, they got the right lighting for this sort of, but I'll be honest with you.

Yeah, it's in a gravel.

It does not look nice to me.

It looks, the inside of it looks like every single, you know, mobile home or whatever.

See, and look at that.

Like, look at all.

is just these pictures these beautiful fucking pictures

yeah it is it's on a it's on the lake it's just

this right here is the thing that sold me because i was like oh

it must be at a nice little place in the middle of nowhere it was not it was

in retrospect two units

no but okay so there's

brian that i got that discount this photo was available to to you.

Yes.

See,

there's no way you could look at this photo and think you're going to be in anywhere.

You can see the house in the photo right now.

I see the guy with his binoculars right there.

You can see a guy leering in this photograph.

I'll watch anything on there.

I don't want the fits for it.

Yeah, this guy's fucking Wilson from Home Improvement here in the back of the photo.

I just didn't, I didn't quite, like, I don't know what came over me that I didn't really notice that house.

I probably told myself it's a shed or something like that.

Well, that is

camping, guys.

The picture for this episode, if you want to look at it, is the shot of the camper in the yard.

So there you go.

Tom,

of course, listen to the Trillbillies.

You got anything else you want to plug?

That's all I got, guys.

Thanks for having me yet again.

And yeah.

It's always fun.

Fun.

Tom, people get, so I was in the Discord earlier today, and we were talking about Brian's voice, how we like Brian's voice.

And I said, Speaking of great voices, you know, we got Tom Sexton coming on a main episode.

And I'll tell you, very overwhelmingly positive,

just extreme excitement.

So the listeners truly love when you come on, I think, just as much as we do, too.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, of course.

It's fun.

And we'll see y'all special.

We'll see y'all next week.

Bye.

Bye.