Guys: Episode 121 - Music Festival Guys with Tony Boswell and Rob Whisman

Welcome to guys!

This is a podcast about guys.

I'm Brian.

This is my festival voice.

I just went to a festival, by the way, as I've been talking about lately, and it gave me the idea.

Hey, there are a lot lot of guys at a music festival.

What if we talked about them?

So this week, I brought on my co-host, not Chris, Tony Boswell.

Hi, Tony.

What's up?

Glad to be here.

Glad to talk about music festivals.

I got a lot of fun insight here because

they're actually awful and

should not exist.

Yeah, worst places you could ever possibly be.

But also, it's the only place you're going to see like Ridge Against the Machine and like your favorite obscure.

I think I saw Rage Against the Machine and like

The Weekend on the same day.

That's fucked up.

It's the only place where you can see Motley Crew and Emir in the same day.

Yeah, that's fucked up.

You shouldn't be able to do that.

Dude, I got to see Atmosphere and pay $10 to charge my fucking phone.

Oh, Rob Wisman's here as our guest, too.

He's been to festival.

What festivals did you go to?

I've been to one.

I went to Bunberry in Ohio in 2020.

Oh, I know of that one.

Yeah, I almost went.

I do not like music festivals.

No, was it a camping festival?

No, I don't think so.

It wasn't a multi-day.

Because this is the thing with me.

Oh, it was a multi-day.

Yeah, I don't think there was...

I don't think people camped there, though.

So here's the thing with me.

I went to Woodstock 99.

Everybody knows that.

Yeah, we know.

You know, you played in the shit.

Yeah, I played in the shit.

I was involved with all the bad stuff that happened.

It was just that I burned a bunch of stuff.

Actually, everybody knows I left early because

that'll

feed into what I'm about to say.

On that Saturday night, when I got in my car and drove home

before Sunday at Woodstock 99, I said, I will never sleep at a concert again as long as I live.

I will never have a tent and a parking lot at a concert.

It's the worst thing in the world.

And then you like start reading about Coachella where like, okay, it's hot.

Coachella and Bonnaroo are two of the ones that I read a lot about where, and I'm sure, Tony, you've been to Coachella, right?

Oh, yeah, for sure.

I think I have a, I think I have a kid because of Coachella, actually.

Pretty positive.

There's a direct correlation between when me and her mom went to Coachella and her being born.

Yeah.

Yeah, Tony lives close to where it happened.

So you can go to Coachella.

I don't anymore.

That was a long time ago.

I'm an old man in my late 30s

who will not tolerate that type of hedonism.

Yeah, and the car camping, you shouldn't even be allowed to do that.

And like legally,

you shouldn't be allowed to...

to do car camping in the middle of Tennessee in the summer or in the desert in the spring.

we got we got to clarify for you know for all the homies who are living in their cars no car camping if there is live music within 100 yards and if you have a house i'm not saying you can't live in your car

but if you have a house that you can go back to or a hotel

don't do it you can't do that it's too hot okay and you're not cut out for it what do people do that just for the love of the game i think they do i do think they do it's gross i've been reading so much so i just went to a festival called sonic temple and i feel like we all three have a different sort of uh uh experience because so so i've been to like a few i've been to austin city limits one year

and uh i that was fine because it was a hotel thing i stayed in a hotel and then i just went back and forth to the place which i find a lot of people say is a bad idea because it ruins your time but it didn't ruin my time at all i took a shower it was wonderful um but yeah so I've been to a few.

The most recent one I went to, I got in for free, so I didn't really treat it as like a I went there, it was two miles from my house, I went there to see the bands I wanted to see, and then left as soon as they were done.

So it was like, it would be like, oh, I think I got there at like 7:30, corn went on at 8:30, and then when they were done, I was gone immediately.

And then the next day, my brother wanted to see Metallica, so we went and watched Metallica, which was pathetic concert, by the way.

But

I kept walking by the campgrounds

as I was leaving and coming in and just looking at them and being like,

how does this work?

Like,

one,

how do people afford it

to have a camper,

a VIP pass?

Because there's levels to this, if you've ever been, there's VIP,

then there so they go general admission stadium.

That's what I had, lowest level ticket.

You're allowed to sit on the benches in the stadium where the hockey soccer used to happen.

That's what I got.

And then there's general admission field where you can go on the floor and you can mosh and stuff like that.

That's another level up.

Then there's

VIP.

And then

after that, rock royalty, a level above VIP.

And I was just disgusted by the whole fucking thing, like the whole VIP roping off.

It's the same feeling you get when you're flying on an airplane, but not flying first class.

Dude, I've met people who like, that's why they work just to fund a lifestyle where they get to go to music festivals.

That's the whole reason they go to work.

Yeah, I knew a guy that thought 2012 was was going to be like

the end of the world.

And he was like, I can't keep wasting my life in Ohio and went and followed festival bands around the country.

Bass Nectar.

I've talked about it before.

He went and followed

Bass Nectar.

Yes,

hell yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

He, he, he was just like, I got to start living for today because the world's going to end because of Mayan calendar.

And I think that's the type of guy that lives for these festivals, Rob.

That is the like, because I'm reading stuff and I'm reading.

Let's just go.

I'll go to this.

Just real quick.

Just real quick.

Unfortunately, you talked about how people can afford this and all that.

Unfortunately, what it is is young people who, instead of getting credit cards now, they just finance the festival.

Like every festival, you can do a payment plan now.

Like people are paying for next year's Coachella right now in payments and installments, going into debt to stink for three days in the desert because it honestly reads like so this country

somebody runs all the festivals right like most of them it's not live nation it's like a promotions company there's a couple but yeah

but the like all the heavy metal festivals are basically run by the same people you know what i mean but it's all the same bands what they're run by a slipknot Yes, well, no.

They're all the same bands playing the shows and they're run by some company.

And I just, I like started reading through posts and stuff like that.

And there are a lot of people who just go

to all of those festivals

with all the same bands

run by the same company with all the same.

Because we have Sonic Temple here, which is a big heavy metal festival.

Then Louder Than Life is in Kentucky.

I think.

And then we have

there's another one that's

rock.

Well, Rock and Range is dead.

That's called Sonic Temple now.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's the one I went to.

So it's Sonic Temple, then

Louder Than Life, then Rocklahoma, which is now that's one.

That's a good one.

That might be one that I have to spend money and go to as a podcast project because they have a Miss Rocklahoma pageant.

Oh, hell yeah.

I got family in Oklahoma that's been trying to get me to come out out there, and I have no reason to, but maybe, maybe Rocklahoma is

the calling.

Well, something I thought would be fun for this episode is to kind of read some of the lineups of the 2025 shows.

I haven't looked at the 2024, but so Rocklahoma,

United We Rock

is the logo, of course.

That's cool.

And now we got the 2025 lineup.

On Friday night, you're going to get Five Finger Death Punch, Marilyn Manson, and Alice Cooper.

Headlining.

What a gamut of just awful people.

I know.

I know.

Five finger death punches people are bad people.

Like, every single one of those bands

is bad.

Evil.

Like, that's actually like an evil lineup.

I don't know.

I don't know about Alice Cooper.

I kind of lumped Alice Cooper in there.

I still like to think of Alice Cooper as Alice Cooper in Wayne's World, who seems like a pretty chill dude.

Yeah.

So I don't want to be aware of that.

He's religious.

He might be cool.

He's religious and kind of right-wing now, so he's cool, he's just raising money to like fight the gays, yeah.

And he's Christian, he's very Christian.

Well, that's what I just said, but in other words, yeah, yeah, the darkness is there.

Why, and this is where,

yeah, there are, I saw them when my wife was pregnant.

Um, Marquis Ramon plays the Ramones, oh, oh, just one Ramon, yeah, well, he's trying to play the song,

also, the Ramones and notorious pieces of shit,

Hinder.

Oh, man.

That's one of those bands that you've never heard a song, but when you hear the name, you go, woof.

First of an angel, man.

My first blow dance.

Hell yeah.

Saliva.

Are they going to have like...

Saliva makes you think of like motocross montages.

Yeah.

Which is a sick description of a band.

So Saturday night, you can catch Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace.

They are the co-headliners of that night.

And then the next biggest

lineup of bands, Tony, I don't know how you're going to feel about this, but Knocked Loose,

Tom Morello, Star Set, and Citizen Soldier.

You don't like Knock Loose?

I don't give a shit about Knock Loose.

I'm what you call an old head.

So

I don't like a lot of stuff.

They're fine.

It's cool.

I love that you don't like it.

Listen, Tony, I love that you don't like Knocked Loose.

It makes me so happy because people are going to yell at you because that's what people do when you talk about hardcore.

That's why I had to beat him to it.

I just let him know that I'm an old guy.

You know, I think it's fine.

I'm good.

I'm glad Knock Loose is this for the kids.

Maybe, you know, they'll discover a trapped under ice through knock loose on accident and, you know, be free from these awful chains.

Well, the Aftershock Festival is a festival that happens.

I got to get the, I think that's a Sacramento, California one,

Aftershock, which also, by the way, has a great lineup to be honest.

Isn't isn't

Breaking Benjamin also like really bad people?

Didn't they do something awful?

No, I don't think you're, I don't know for sure.

I'm thinking of lost profits, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that is a real bad, yeah.

So, this is the concert we're going to read about here.

Uh, Thursday, Blink 182, all-time low, taking back Sunday, Alkaline Trio.

There you go, that's that's Friday, Friday, Deftones Turnstile Knocked Loose, the Dillinger Escape Plan.

Saturday, Corn Gogiro Chevelle, and Sunday, a name I can't read, Marilyn Manson.

They got to stop having Marilyn Manson at these fucking shows.

He's like the most of the bad guys.

He's

yeah.

So this is the this is the festival we're going to read about.

This is from Slit Faces, and he says, PSA for attendees not aware of hardcore music.

As the years go on and hardcore becomes more and more popular, Aftershock has been adding more and more hardcore bands, which is amazing.

But what I noticed last year with the metal core and hardcore bands such as Kublai Khan, Zulu, Biohazard, et cetera, is that lots of people don't understand how hardcore pits work.

Typically, when a band is hardcore, there's going to be a hardcore dancing, windmill, spin kicks, karate in the pit.

Because that's how the hardcore scene works.

Lots of people didn't know that last year, which is all good, but I got in lots of fights and arguments because me and my friends were bringing hardcore pits to hardcore bands instead of circle pitting.

And some didn't understand.

If you're in the pit or you're on the outer ring of a pit during a hardcore set, you might get hit.

If you're watching a hardcore set, expect karate in the pit instead of circle pitting.

If you don't want to run the risk of getting hit or don't like hardcore dancing, I recommend standing away from the pit and not watching the hardcore or hardcore adjacent bands, such as Tsunami, Spy, Snuffed on Sight, Knocked Loose, Turnstile, the Dillinger Escape Plan, Hate Breed, and Zabalba.

This will create a better environment for the hardcore kids and prevent those just spectating from getting hurt.

Now, is that actual karate?

I've seen moshing.

I do karate.

Listen,

I consider my windmill kicks a martial art.

You know,

I've definitely, you know,

sometimes in the morning, I do it like Tai Chi in my on my patio.

You know, I just put on some hate breed, start start picking up change, start swinging hamfist, you know.

It's nice to have you, Tony, because you are a hardcore.

You are kind of a hardcore guy.

Oh, hey, no, kind of about it, brother.

Yeah, he's hardcore.

He loves Knocked Loose and Turnstile.

Calm down.

Calm down.

I do love Turnstile.

Those are the boys.

I've

loved them forever.

That album's good, and you can make fun of me for liking it.

I don't get it.

Great album.

I'm excited for the new one to come out.

That show they just did in Baltimore looked incredible.

They're like good people doing good things.

Anyways,

I got to push back against this comment because the thing is, is that, no, the festival,

the hardcore people need to make concessions when you go to a festival because you're going to festival.

Go ahead and do the thing is,

people won't fight if you're not crowdkilling.

These people are probably crowd killing, and that's why they're getting into almost fights.

Like, if the pit's open, the pit's open, you can see what's happening.

You choose to go in there.

But if you're crowdkilling, that sucks for you.

That's lame

the homies speed just played coachella and they're like a hardcore band out of australia and um they were talking about like it was funny because like they said you could see like the the quote you know like normies and the hardcore kids kind of

working amongst each other and see it what happened more was the the the normies were like trying to mosh and it was more friendly though they weren't being as yeah as gnarly because you got to make concessions and like stage dives happen at everything and stage dives are the most dangerous thing.

I hate stage dive.

And I have stage dive.

I mean, you can't hardcore, you can't do hardcore dancing when you're at a stage that's also going to feature dream theater.

You know what I mean?

You got to make your concession.

You might have to just do a circle pit.

I don't know.

So a guy responds and he goes.

Leave your hardcore pit at home.

Asking 70% of the aftershock crowd to accommodate your need to do karate in the pit pit is a surefire way to get the opposite of that.

There's plenty of OG Aftershock fans since the first one over 12 years ago that have managed to control their need for a mixed martial arts level pit.

So

not happy.

You see how they're fanned of the festival?

Like that's the financial thing.

Yeah, that's crazy to me.

Like

there are subreddits for each festival.

It's not like...

It's not like I'm looking at R slash festivals or R slash music.

There are some stuff on r/slash music festivals, but that was one of the interesting things to me was like there are guys that are fans of the festival

and they don't necessarily the bands don't matter to them, you know.

Yeah, I just know it's aftershock culture.

Yeah, I have a question.

I'm uh, I'm more like a Cat Stevens guy.

What is what is this guy mad about?

So, at a hardcore concert, they mosh very different than they do at

a metal show.

A metal show

push pits.

Yeah, you push

pits, circle pits and push pits.

Oh, I've seen a push pit, I think.

Yeah.

Yeah, you might just push each other.

You might elbow.

There might be an elbow or two.

If somebody gets out of hand and they start to like run at you, you know, the people on the outside push them back in.

You know what I mean?

That's all it is.

It's like, it's like a self regulating thing.

Now, at hardcore concerts, which when I was a teenager was nerd music, and I very apologize for saying that to everybody, but we thought it was dork music.

You would go to these concerts very early.

I've said this before, very early corn concerts had a lot of hardcore kids at them, and a lot of uh skin heads, and a lot like it, it was like one of those things where like this new thing is happening, so everybody's into it at that time.

And that's where I first saw like hardcore pit.

They were kind of roped off because it was the first show I ever went to was a Megadeth concert that had corn opening.

So, like, that's awesome.

Yeah.

So, people in like the Megadeth people just were a were they intimidating.

I'm going to tell you the truth.

You go to a concert where Megadeth's playing or Metallica's playing, their fans are intimidating.

They don't fuck around.

They will kill you.

And a ball dude with a big beard is always going to be a little bit threatening.

Yes, yeah.

So, anyway, hardcore is more about dancing because there's less people in the pit, I think, is how I feel.

And yeah, they just do windmills with their arms.

It's a little more individualist and careless than it is.

So

when a guy that is a big fan of deft tones

gets in a pit and then a guy's swinging his arms around, punching people and like kicking them and doing all this stuff, he's going to be very pissed off at that guy because that is against the rules so these are two different cultures smashing up against each other which is against the rules but these music festivals have to do that because there really aren't enough bands to just do one genre now at the same time though if you're like if you decide you're going to go to the tsunami set you i mean you're kind of aware of tsunami and you've probably seen like a picture of like a kid on a boogie board crowdsurfing and like kids windmill kicking right so you're you're also choosing to go there like i say i think the only concession is just no crowd killing i think that's the only only thing um that should be that should be changed

well tony i hate to say this but uh this guy does say if anyone tries to crowd kill me i'm beating the fuck out of them lmao yeah i saw a dude a few years ago try it on someone and he was dragged into the crown like the crown like the walking dead and disappeared lol Hardcore dancing is dumb as fuck.

So he came after you.

At first, you're like, oh, he's right.

And then at the end, he's like,

no, I don't.

What is crowd killing?

What is crowdkilling?

That is just beating the crap out of people.

Crowdkilling is like when you're doing your little, you're, you know, your little hammer fist throws, but you're like going to the edge of the pit and like purposely hitting people who are just basically bystanders.

Yeah.

I see.

It just is a thing that happens.

Yeah, yeah.

I think it makes sense.

I didn't realize there was such

nuance to all of this.

There is fascinating.

There is utility, in my opinion.

And Tony, you can disagree with me.

There is utility utility to crowd crowd killing because and i'm going to tell you why there's some utility to it and you can yell at me when i'm done i just went to this festival and and

it cost 700 more to have a floor pass where you would be in the pit that is a ton of money right yeah uh it seems as though to me and i've noticed this at other shows too that when you make the pit that prohibitively expensive for people then the people that are are in there don't want to lose their place, right?

Yeah.

So they're not moving.

Yeah.

Because they paid so much money and they're VIPs and all this shit and they don't move.

So there's no pit.

Now that to me is like, hey, I'm in a heavy metal concert.

Go ahead and crowd kill because people need to get moving.

You can't have all this standing around doing nothing, you know?

Well, there's a difference between like a crowd kill and like opening a pit.

Like you open a pit, like the move, you know, I we would do is you kind of like kind of th like lean back into people and kind of like going off ropes in a r a wrestling ring and you kind of just like run and throw your back into people.

So you're you're pushing them hard, but you're not hitting them, you know?

You're not you're not you're not like punching them or kicking them.

You know, you don't gotta do all that.

And also the crowd killing has gotten out of hand now because there's like the self-governance of the pit has been like ran by that, where like it's this mentality where um

they think that's like allowed but only like back when i was younger the whole thing was only certain people were kind of allowed to crowd kill because if you crowd killed and you weren't the right person you are gonna get your ass kicked because you did hit like an innocent person and you're like not part of the crew whose show is playing that that show

you know and like you would get beat up But now they just do it and it's crazy.

I'm like, why are the kids not getting beat up more?

Like they need to get out.

They need to get, some kids need to get packed out, you know?

And like, that's...

that's true so that that for the for safety you know sometimes you got to beat people up for people's safety and i just don't think that's happening as much anymore but the shows i go to that's not really happening at because you know it is a slightly older crowd you're all we're still pitting don't get me wrong but um but uh i haven't in a while but i

i haven't in a while uh let's go to r slash festivals this wouldn't be guys

a podcast about guys if we didn't get gross right gotta get gross worst bathroom you've ever seen at a festival.

I could smell it from 15 feet away.

That's mine.

So we're going to get some war stories now.

This is

your bathroom, he said.

That's just

a bathroom.

This is

people describing the worst bathrooms they've ever had at a festival.

And you could smell your bathroom from 15 feet away?

Not mine.

Oh, okay.

I thought you were saying yours.

I have great smelling shit, they say.

People, that's a big Trump thing.

It sounded like Trump.

They say I have great smelling shit.

I bet your bathroom does smell good.

Well, yeah, everything smells good around my house.

I'm like a fragrance guy now.

That's right.

I'm fragrancing all over town.

I had a lady stop me on the street yesterday and said, you smell good.

Hell yeah.

In like a complimentary way.

And she was not the type of lady you would think would stop somebody and say they smell good.

You know what I mean?

She's yelling at somebody.

Diet Soda Police says summer camp port-a-potties back in the day, literally each one would be overflowing with shit and with poop smeared on every wall at the end of the weekend.

It was a joke that a real summer camp veteran went all four or five days without taking a shit.

Now, that I have experienced.

I'm going to tell you, when I was at Woodstock 99,

it was really hard to go to the bathroom, but I did not crap at Woodstock 99.

Like, I can make sure I don't have to crap at a place like that.

Yeah, I don't think I can go four days without a bidet.

Yeah, yeah, brother.

I'm with you, or even just a shower, you know.

This guy goes, people would make fun of me for carrying my own toilet paper in my camel back at summer camp, but day three would roll around, and people would be begging me for some.

Uh, guy replies, he goes, Sounds lucrative.

And uh, then the next guy goes, Yeah, I'm gonna sell the toilet paper now.

Buy sheet or what?

You know, I've noticed there's a need for toilet paper here.

Would you like five

five uh

five squares of toilet paper so that I'm selling them for $25 each?

Five squares, $25.

You know, I literally came here to say the same thing.

I was camped in VIP in 2013 or 2014, and there was a literal shit mountain erupting from every toilet seat, and the trailers had lights in them, which made it so much worse.

I'm going to read more of these, but I also had a video that we're going to watch this.

We're going to listen to a guy this week.

I think you guys are going to like this guy he uh uh he is he is giving concert etiquette for a gentleman uh so if you're wait till you see this guy concert season is coming up and a lot of you will be headed to a festival or to see your favorite band this summer i've had many requests for a video

hell yeah what's up with his eyebrows yeah well he's a gentleman oh my god i didn't even notice the eyebrows at first those are manicured.

You know what's sick?

This guy's doing a music thing, and he has a Bauhaus poster behind him, but

it's the art, not the band.

That's not for the this poster is not for the band.

It's for the art movement.

Agree.

It's classy.

He's like, oh, that's a really class, because it's the kind of poster you would see.

Like, it's a classy poster.

It's not like one you see on the street.

You know, I was like, this guy likes God.

This guy likes Goth Rock.

That's cool.

He's gonna be.

Oh, never mind.

It's just it's the art movement, not the it's too good of a poster for him to be a real fan, you know.

Uh, this is so good.

So, this guy is called Gent Z.

Is he Gen Z?

He looks old as fuck.

Listen, listen, there's nothing you can really do, guys.

If they say they're Gen Z, they're Gen Z.

I think this guy might be an elderly Gen Z.

Let's check out the concert outfit and etiquette.

If you want to be a gentleman at a concert, now that's, you can go like me.

I don't want to be a gentleman.

So let's check him out.

How to be a gentleman at a concert.

This video is going to cover what to wear, correct concert etiquette, and even dancing and moshing.

I want you to have the information you need so that you can present yourself and behave in a way that you are proud of at these events.

This video is more about rock and pop concerts where there is less of a clear code of etiquette.

First of all,

there is way,

there's so much etiquette that even people that have been to several shows don't know all of it.

I just found out this year that crowd surfers need to cross their legs and their arms.

and lay like they're in a casket.

I don't know about that.

I don't know about that.

I saw it.

I saw people saying so you don't kick people in the head.

I think that's woke Gen Z stuff.

I thought you're supposed to spread your kind of self kind of wide so you cover more people so you're less heavy.

Well, we live in a woke world these days, and the woke people are saying you got to cross your legs and arms in a mosh pit or you're breaking the rules.

I do like that he's staying in his lane and is only covering rock, rock and pop concerts because those concerts have their own clear-cut etiquette.

No, they don't have it.

They don't.

That's the weird part because they don't.

Okay,

heavy metal concerts have the most strict etiquette of any concert you'll go to.

Like,

it just is there's a hundred rules that you get punched in the face if you don't follow.

So, to say there's not a clear-cut etiquette, and I can't wait to see what this guy says you should wear

to a rock festival

than there would be at a classical concert, opera, or ballet.

Although I don't go to many gigs these days, I have attended hundreds of concerts in the past, and I've performed.

Okay.

I want to say this.

I want to say this.

I just got to say,

if this guy's Gen Z

and he's already saying, I've been to too many concerts already.

I think I'm done.

Yeah, I just, this guy's 40.

I'm just going to say it right now.

This guy's 40 years old.

I think it, I think, gent Z means like he's the last gent.

Oh, I like that.

I like that, man.

I think you might be on to something.

Because, yeah, he did look older.

I mean, I go to more concerts now that I'm older than I did when I was younger because I have like the means to.

The money, yeah.

When you have the money, it's like, oh, I'll go to a because, like, I, I bought tickets to see Deftones, I told you, and that was like expensive as hell for like what it used to be.

Like, because you used to get tickets for 60 there used to be 60 tickets there's not there's not 60 i'm sounding like trump again there's not 60 tickets anymore they're all 180

what not for the big acts yeah deft tones was 180 a piece for the floor and i was like happy about that you know what i mean i was like well that's a good deal uh so At hundreds of concerts too.

I have seen many examples of both good and poor gig etiquette that I'm excited to share with you now.

So let's get right into it, starting with what to wear.

If you're a man who normally dresses up, going to a concert might mean dressing down a little.

I probably wouldn't go to a concert dressed like this.

But that doesn't mean he's wearing a suit currently.

So pocket square

any less stylish.

The first thing to consider when putting together your outfit is the genre of the artist.

If it's a jazz show, you might feel comfortable and confident in that suit.

If it's a country concert, maybe you pull out those cowboy boots that you've been meaning to wear.

Although it can be fun to make.

If it's a country concert, maybe pull out some cowboy boots, put on a pair of bib overalls, and put a piece of hay in your mouth and show up.

The cosplay that goes into like going the stage coach is incredible.

Like a guy that you didn't even know, you never seen wear, like

not just like joggers and like a gym shark shirt, We'll have like boots and Wrangles out of nowhere, cowboy hat out of nowhere.

Yeah, like that's the most cosplay genre, I think, out there.

Yeah, well, have you ever been to Nashville?

No,

I know.

I'm sure Rob's been in Nashville.

Have you ever been to Nashville, bro?

Nope.

That is the most, everywhere you go,

every there are people dressed in like cowboy boot.

Like guys from Pennsylvania wearing cowboy, like, cause it's like a destination for country music people so they come from all over the country and they're all wearing cowboy boots and like those roughed up cowboy hats that are in style with guy basically they're dressed like they shop at the buckle in the mall all the time so uh let's check out some more posts here i gotta i gotta i got some more here's some more bathroom posts uh this guy said and and again

This guy goes, I have friends that ingest quite a large amount of substances and still go whole fest without pooping.

I've always found it impressive.

This guy, as a joke, goes, Immodium is a hell of a drug.

And then, of course, this guy's got to pop in.

That's potentially bad for a person.

I hate this guy.

No one's asking you to keep it real, dude.

You don't got to keep it real all the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

If they keep eating or remain constipated from immodium, they're just packing more and more shit into their intestines.

It can cause fecal impaction, a medical issue, and even cause fissures in the colon or bowel perforation, also medically significant so

thanks for that information sir we we all needed to hear that

i mean all all true i'll give you that but it's at the same time i like these are i think these are mostly people who if it's happening on accident or like they're actually shitting but they just don't want to like admit that they shit in the gross thing Like, I don't think this is something worth giving real feedback to.

I think we all know that if you don't shit for four days, maybe go to the doctor.

Oh, brother, I don't shit for four days sometime really what

sometimes i haven't shit for a few days

it's been a while like because i'm getting concerned about it now man i'm i'm supposed to shit every day i think yeah yeah you're supposed to shit every day yeah well i can hold it okay so do you get enough fiber let's talk about this for do you get fiber Yeah, well, not so currently, I think the reason it's going on is because I usually eat fiber gummies every day and drink a lot of water, but I have dental shit going on.

Something, you know, something about a gummy seems antithetical to fiber in my mind.

But I mean, you know, it seems like it works, but I'm not taking, I can't eat like gummy stuff because I have some.

Get you some chia seeds instead of that and everything.

Yeah, I have them.

Why do you think your smoothies are so expensive?

Hey,

I'm a little bit smoothie.

Okay, I make my own smoothies now.

The worst would be at the gathering of the juggalos 2018, I think.

Sunday morning, some jackass threw some fireworks down the vent tube.

This, I want to say, I can verify that they bring a lot of fireworks to that thing.

I've been to the Gathering of the Juggalos, and they shoot.

I've said this before.

I remember watching Kidd and Play up there dancing and trying to avoid bottle rockets.

And I was just like, I feel sorry for these guys.

They made a house party.

Did everyone get excited for the move they do where they have their feet linked and hop around a circle?

Because that's two of them kind of stationary like they can't really dodge in that that that situation i mean they did all the moves i'll say that they did all the kid and play moves but they were being pelted with fireworks the whole time but and don't think it's like some kind of thing they were doing that to everybody that performed icp was up there they're they're heroes and they were shooting fireworks at them like they just shoot fireworks at everybody if you're gonna perform there guess what they're gonna shoot some fireworks at you I'd still do it.

I'd still do like a live guys at the gathering of the juggalos.

I'm sure Chris would like being in the uh

being at the gathering.

That would be a great place for him.

This guy goes, This guy's a piece of shit, asshole, and I hate him.

Hey, pro tip from an old head for you guys: sneak a padlock lock or combination lock into the festival.

Lock up a port-a-potty.

Most have the spot on the doors to use a lock.

Now you have your own private port-a-potty.

That's a psycho.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is not happening.

You can't do it.

Well, yeah, I'm hoping.

Here's a question on our festival.

This guy's going to Shambhala.

We can look up Shambhala real quick.

It's probably a band, a Jamban.

Sounds Jambandy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So this is a Canadian festival, Shambhala.

I won't be going there.

Andy, oh, these are all bands you've never heard of in your entire life like it looks like it could be one of those fake ai

andy c apashi big gigantic bob moses

bow channel trace so no we're not going to know any of these bands so anyway

because i i was ready to be like uh brian i know all the bands and then you listed those and i didn't know any of them Well, you two are going to get a test a little later on.

We have a game.

When Chris is away, we can play a game.

This guy goes, but this person says, Molly, ketamine, acid together.

Hey, y'all, I'm headed to Shambhala Monday through Friday this year.

It's essentially a hippie 4D3N, no booze, vendor.

I've been debating what days to do what drugs.

I've experimented with shrooms, ketamine, acid, and molly all separately.

I was looking for some insight on the following drug combos.

One,

molly and ketamine,

two,

shrooms and ketamine,

three, acid and molly, candy flip.

Four, shrooms and molly, hippie flip.

Five, acid, shrooms, and molly, iconic Jedi flip.

And six, acid, molly, and ketamine.

I've tried acid and ketamine together once, and I loved it.

Funnest hour of my life.

So they're asking the real questions.

Should I mix a bunch of drugs together?

Man, I wish I had that like attitude because like I love drugs and everything, but I would not want to do like acid and ketamine around that many people.

No.

And also, if I pay that much money to see music, I kind of want to remember some of that music.

Right.

Acid is the scary one.

I don't know how they do it.

I don't know how the fish people and the jam bam people are going in there dropping acid.

I just.

It probably helps knowing everyone else is on acid.

That might work.

Yeah, yeah.

Because that is part of being in public on acid is you being worried that everybody knows you're on acid yeah and they do they know oh yeah it's they all know they can see in your eyes

but like yeah yeah the ls i mean all the other drugs they said here i would probably be fine with maybe not shrooms but molly and ketamine

are sort of perfect for the occasion in that they're short

they're short long they're short little sections of drug so one thing i would say about this person person, and a lot of people have let them know, they said, Do not take Molly five days in a row.

That's bad.

That is actually not going to work.

Yeah, yeah, you can't be doing that.

Just FYI, you'll be feeling pretty rough doing Molly five days in a row.

Acid shrooms, ketamine, and even Coke, five to six consecutive days is definitely not for the week, haha.

But the five days of Molly is going to be the ringer.

So, uh, guy

from five days of isn't one Molly.

I remember I took Molly once and I wanted to kill myself the next day.

What is five days of Molly?

Well, that's what they're saying is like, hey, man, the next day you're very depressed.

There's also the acid thing too.

And this might be a stupid thing that

people just believe.

You have to take more

the next day

in order to really trip.

So like, you're also going to have to up your drugs every day.

The drugs are going to have to be upped.

Now, I don't know if either one of you have ever seen seen this, but I'm going to screen share something.

I'm going to make it the picture for the episode, but I want to show this.

This is a graph.

And I know it's hard to read.

It is a graph of all the drugs.

All right.

And then, like, can, and then there's an answer of if you can mix them.

That's cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So let's say Viagra.

They say, do not take that with shrooms.

Don't take Viagra with shrooms?

Brother, hey, I'm just relaying the information.

Viagra with GHB, no,

don't take that.

Real quick, I've literally taken Viagra with shrooms.

I don't know what would be the thing.

I don't understand.

It's just a bad experience because then we also have...

We also have a skeleton.

I disagree.

I had a fantastic experience.

We have a skeleton here, which means it could cause your death and shouldn't do it as Viagra and Coke.

So

don't get killed doing Viagra and Coke together.

But yeah, they got caffeine.

You can pretty much use caffeine with everything.

They don't want you mixing Coke and poppers.

So I don't know if that's a big one.

So yeah, it's just a crazy, it's a really crazy chart.

that shows what you can do

when.

And it is a big chart.

It's got a lot of drugs on it.

So I'm going to make it the picture for the episode.

If you need to, if you ever need to access this, it will be the picture of the episode.

It's just a

unfortunately, it's a picture of the

laminated paper.

So, it's hard to

tell.

So,

let's check in with some posts.

Well, hey, wait, first,

let's check in with our gentleman.

I'm sure he's got some information we need.

We gotta know what to wear.

This is the worst outfit for a concert that you've ever seen in your life.

Number one, long-sleeve shirt.

Number two, jeans.

Both terrible things to wear to a concert and a festival all day.

Why are jeans bad to wear to a concert?

Come on.

I wore jeans to the movies.

I don't wear jeans, but I'm curious.

I wore jeans to a movie recently and my balls were sweating so bad.

Oh, yeah, dude, I don't wear jeans.

I forgot that.

Yeah, I forgot that happens.

Scratching them too.

Scratch.

When you wear like sweats all the time, because that's what I wear.

I wear

the same joggers.

I have like 10 pairs of the same joggers, and in the summer, I have like 10 pairs of the same shorts.

Although today, I'm wearing my stylish short.

You can see them.

Very stylish.

Yeah.

Very, very stylish.

Pleasures brand is what they are.

Oh, very, very stylish.

Hey, you know, I'm a stylish guy.

But you're always able to scratch your nuts in those situations.

And as a guy with a, it's known that I have a very hot crotch.

You know,

I ripped the crotch out of my underwear on an airplane because my balls was sweating too much.

So I wore jeans to like look good.

and boots and then like a nice shirt and I and I'm out with my family and all I'm thinking is i gotta i i gotta take i almost bought a pair of sweatpants to tell you the truth why you're out and a new pair of underwear yeah yeah it was nasty i wouldn't have wear jeans to a festival unless i was one of those guys that always wears jeans and they look kind of cool you know what i mean like you know the guys i'm talking about The guy that's wearing these tight black pants and Chelsea boots and a button-down black shirt also has like a lot of rings on.

Yes.

Maybe he's got some other down could also be a camp collar shirt.

You can pick whatever color you want for rock shows.

Black or navy makes sense.

At a festival, you might want to choose brighter colors or bold patterns.

Also, for a festival, you could probably switch out the jeans for a pair of shorts, and you could switch out the boots for loafers.

Okay, don't chill, chill, chill, calm down, sir.

We're not wearing loafers to the festival.

Okay, expect this, these loafers, these are sockless loafers.

If you're not wearing, you got to wear socks to a festival.

Like, you got to wear socks.

And if you're going to be there, maybe bring an extra pair of socks.

Like, you don't, don't know.

This is bad.

Yeah.

Let's look at a psycho here real quick.

This guy goes, I think people put too much value on nice views and visuals.

Maybe an unpopular opinion.

I see so many posts here and elsewhere about the gorge or other focus on or other focus on visuals i'll probably get downvoted but whatever just got to rant a bit now on guys we love when somebody says they're probably going to get downvoted yeah we also love it when somebody says they're going to rant

buckle up so

buckle up buttercup there i get a little that that is okay so he goes i went to be on wonderland at the gorge with my wife and 10 friends So many friends did nothing but chill on the hill.

Wife and I live in a van.

So yeah, the views are nice, but we have better views a few dozen times a year.

And I'm not at a music festival for views.

I'm there for good sound, good music, good crowds, and good dancing.

Wife and I went off on our own side quest to rave on our own course and enjoyed the hell out of it.

We did an obligatory, obligatory sunset

on the hill.

And yeah, cool.

Good music for sunset.

Nice.

But the next day, I'm not going to watch a sunset over going and dancing at the base stage because for me, it's not about getting on a dance floor.

Kind of same with the light shows.

Like, yeah, it's cool if there's an awesome light show, but I'd much rather be deep in a crowd with zero visuals and amazing music than mid-music and some visual experience.

So I'm going to explain to you what this guy's up to.

He's saying, I don't care.

I don't know why you care to see what's going on on stage.

It's funny because

you're complaining about something that's the music's good already, right?

It's not like they're compromising the sound sound of the music for these visuals.

The visuals are just there.

And it's also, there's a lot of people there who are online.

You're talking about EDM Festival here.

Like, there are people who are very excited about the visuals because they're on drugs.

And it's like, you know, it's like going to a party and they have a charcuterie board, but you don't like anything on the charcuterie board.

Don't complain that it's there at all.

Like, it's just, you know, maybe they don't have the quality salami you like, but they had some salami.

You know, you don't, don't get mad about it.

It's there anyways.

Like,

why are you upset about this i think a big issue i have is like him saying like

who gives a about the views i live in a van and i go look at views all the time yeah yeah oh cool that affects me in what way like i i like a view you know what i mean and this guy's just like and and he chooses to live in a van and and that is

For me, a romantic way to be.

I would love to do that.

You know what I mean?

But, you know, me and my wife require toilets.

yeah.

So

you just don't, you don't do the sprinter van trip because I was like looking into renting one to drive across the country.

And I think I could afford

the

RV

and I think I could afford the gas and food.

I don't think that's a big problem.

I think the big problem is the toilet issue.

You just got to get a good toilet map, you know?

There should be a toilet map.

Especially with all the people that are doing this since covid a lot of people bought sprinter vans yeah yeah so this guy goes most people don't live in a van and don't get the experience of setting like the gorge often you could dance in a crowd at any show you can only experience the gorgeous view at the gorge i agree with you on light shows so op responds and goes really good point anyone could go camping but most people don't very often And to be fair, it's cool to have the epic music with the views.

You don't get that when camping, even with a good Bluetooth speaker.

I just tend to like the dance floor vibes and sound more.

One reason being that's what I'm paying for.

I can at a rave, and I often prefer a rave, but a festival with days of music is another level.

But like I said, we went to the gorge, enjoyed the scenery for a bit, but then just go dance, just go dance, right?

Why go to an EDM fest to sit on a hill?

Okay, so he's talking about people who are sitting on the hill looking at the views instead of dancing.

And I also think he's thinking it's like, I'm sure everybody who was on the hill was also dancing at some point, but he's convinced that everyone he sees there on the hill when he's there never leaves.

And, like, he's like, this guy's we're not here to, you can sit anywhere.

There's parks around the world, bro.

Like,

right now, okay, I can't, I kind of, I kind of want to, I kind of get what he's saying now.

Kind of with that.

Yeah, go dance.

There's,

yeah, but to say there's like, hey, man, there's views all over the world when like

95% of the people there work an office job.

Yeah.

And this is their time off from work.

You know what I mean?

Like,

I don't, I don't know that like his experience can be ported over to most people, especially now.

They're making people go back to the office anyway.

You know,

this guy goes, and then he goes, but you can go camp and sit on a hill for free.

for the price of gas and get there any weekend.

Isn't the whole point of the MedM Festival to dance in the crowd and feel the bass reverberating up through your legs and penetrating your limbs and making them move?

That was gross.

He goes, Yes, but it's a usual, the guy responds, he goes, Yes, but it's, but it's what?

Usually a two, three-day festival.

Can us old folks or people with back issues?

This guy's an asshole.

I want to say this.

I think the original poster guy is an asshole.

I hate it when somebody's like,

okay, well, my back hurts.

So I have to sit down.

Like, I can't argue back.

You know what I mean?

He goes, isn't the whole point of an eating?

Oh, he goes, can us old folks or people with back issues or people who want to break be able to sit and enjoy the view too?

Addville only does so much after 12 hours of dancing.

So that guy dances for 12 hours.

Yeah.

And the guy goes, yeah, you can.

Not dissing a bit of a sit time.

I'm 39 and definitely need some recharge time, but I need a good six plus hours of dance time each night.

Nice.

These guys, like posting about all this and like

spending, like, it seems all so antithetical to like the idea of a music festival where it's like this thing you wait for all year and then you go for a weekend and then it's over.

Yes.

Yeah.

You guys are just.

Still thinking about it.

Yes.

And talking about it.

That's what makes a festival guy.

I mean, most people are like, oh, a festival guy, right?

He would be a guy

that goes to a million festivals a year.

And there are those guys.

Those guys exist.

Everybody knows those guys exist.

They're mostly jam band guys.

I don't think a lot of people go to like any other genre of music.

So anyway, yeah, they go to a subreddit about the show.

365 days a year.

I'm looking at Sonic Temple right now.

And

this person just goes, fuck all the smokers.

Get your nasty cigarettes out of my face.

And the guy goes, this exactly took my sister to her first Sonic Temple.

And for her favorite band, several people sat in front of us in the stadium and smoked non-stop a whole set, not bothering to blow it up or anything, just letting it all hit the breeze right back into our faces.

My sister's asthmatic, and we're totally expecting to endure smoke.

It's literally inevitable.

But they had absolutely zero consideration for those those around them.

It wasn't just one cigarette either, it was one cigarette and like five or six blunts.

No joke, just be considerate of the people around you.

That's all any of us ask.

Um, I'm going to, I'm going to, I don't smoke anymore, I haven't smoked for like two or three years.

Again, I mean, you know,

you never know if I'm going to come back, but right now I don't.

I did notice how annoying it.

It being an ex-smoker

is sort of a situation where you're you're like, I've done this

and I hate the smell of cigarettes and I hate when it's blown in my face, but I felt like I wasn't allowed to really

complain about that at a concert, number one, which we'll see a lot of people respond with that.

But also, just as in like, I've blown smoke in people's faces for several years without really realizing it.

This is funny, too, because like the genre I think is kind of important.

This is for Sonic Temple, so this is like a metal fest.

And I don't know, I kind of expect cigarettes at like a like if someone's wearing like a leather vest, I expect them to smoke cigarettes.

I don't know.

You know this is going to happen there.

Guy in a battle vest

is probably going to be smoking cigarettes.

Probably ripping cigarettes.

Yeah, yeah.

And there was a lot.

They're actually, I was almost like...

I've been to heavy metal concerts, but I don't go to festivals anymore.

I don't go to outdoor stuff anymore very often.

I like an indoor concert.

I don't like an outdoor concert.

Yeah.

So I've never, that issue hasn't existed in so long when you're indoors seeing a show, nobody can smoke.

It doesn't smell like cigarettes.

So I do understand this thing where it's like, I'm going to this concert, everybody's smoking fucking cigarettes.

You know what I mean?

So this guy goes, I've seen so much, this guy's funny.

This is an old head.

I like this guy.

I've seen so much crazy shit in the first 10 years of Rock on the Range.

People doing acid and wigging out.

People passing blunts everywhere.

Titties everywhere.

People puking on each other.

Some of the most violent mosh pits I've ever been in.

It's like a UFC fight when Slipknot or Mastodon comes on.

I've seen people bloodied up from head to toe, people getting knocked the fuck out, crew staff grabbing and throwing people over barricades like a sack of potatoes.

I saw a group of about five people hauling a 500-pound asshole and launching him into the crowd of people during Motley Crew.

There are no rules at a concert.

He did capitalize during Motley Crew.

He goes, there are no rules at a concert, much less a festival with 50 fucking bands.

But yeah, there's cigarettes too.

Valid.

So yeah, maybe the least of your problems.

Yeah, yeah.

Let's check in with this guy.

But only if you plan on standing at the back and you're not going to be right at the front where the crowd might trample on your feet.

Personally, I don't really like festivals anyway, so if I go to one, you can just find me sitting at the bar, and loafers are just fine for that.

But for indoor shows,

boots are essential because it's very likely your feet will get stepped on as people are dancing and the crowd swells.

Wearing white sneakers would be the biggest mistake because they will get covered in spilled drinks and dirty footprints in just one night.

Sir,

people who wear white shoes wear them because they're cool and they know that's a possibility.

I mean, I'm going to agree with him, though.

That is a bad move.

Especially going to a hardcore show or something like that, you're definitely going to wear some beaters.

Something kind of fly, but you don't mind getting stepped on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This guy goes, funny to go to an outdoor festival and there's people smoking.

Here we go, guys.

We're about to get a good heavy metal guy retort here.

Funny, go to an outdoor festival and there's people smoking.

Sounds like like this isn't the scene for you maybe lilith fair will come back

i feel like i feel like i feel like women smoke

yeah yeah yeah women smoke cigarettes i don't know last time i checked uh you know femmes are down with cigarettes yeah although all my friends were stoners there maybe go visit the zoo They probably have restrictions.

I'm sure you're angry about the copious amounts of alcohol, too.

I better not tell you.

You might really freak out.

Some people are on hallucinogens.

You better leave now.

Sounds dangerous for you.

So this is a,

Chris would love this.

It's a heavy metal guy talking about how dangerous he is.

Love that shit.

And then

1 million percent

get out of the crowd

if you need to smoke that shit.

Also, the weed vape smells so goddamn bad.

Jesus fucking Christ, that's not fair.

That's also not true.

I don't think

a lot of times they smell good.

Yeah, weed vape smelled nice.

He goes, I make the loudest and nastiest sounding retching noises and yell like, who the fuck is smoking that shit?

And he goes, Edit, love the down votes for simply suggesting that people should be considerate of others when dispensing their literal fucking cancer into the air.

So this guy goes, you're the type of loser I'd blow my smoke at.

The more you complain, the more smoke you get.

If you don't want smokers, go to a concert at the airport.

Go to a concert at the airport is so good.

Yeah, I want to go.

And this guy that's, this guy that's arguing, his name's PM Your Saggy Tits.

And he says,

you're an inconsiderate cunt.

So,

yeah.

And the guy goes, would rather be a cunt than a little bitch crying about vape smoke all day.

Grow a set of balls.

So

there you go.

And then finally, Reddit's mod Reddit Mods are fascist says,

if you smoked two, it wouldn't bother you that much.

Just saying, maybe that's your answer.

I like that guy.

I like that.

It's true.

I like that attitude.

We're going to go ahead and read a couple of reviews of a couple of shows.

This one's for Coachella.

This is off of Ticketmaster.

And this guy says, three stars.

One day is enough.

Traffic galore due to roads closed?

Taking Uber?

Expect two hour bumper to bumper when it should only take a half.

Having left an hour in advance, expect to park far.

Expect to walk.

Walking gets you there faster.

And once you reach the vicinity, expect to walk more.

The entry path is ridiculous.

Golden boys make very good money.

They need to fix the entry.

Ridiculous.

Expect sore feet and possible blisters.

Great artists, but two to three playing at the same time.

You might have to choose who to watch and one may only sing just one song.

And no cash accepted at the food vendors.

Estimate $12 to $20 food or drink item.

Good luck.

One day is enough.

So this guy

just explained exactly what it is to be at a music festival.

Yeah.

But was mad about it.

Especially Coachella.

Like, yeah, I don't know if you that you signed up for that.

You knew that's what it was.

Yeah, it's not.

It's not in a place that's built for that many people,

you know?

No, but the air, the the that, the Coachella Valley, the Indio, California, I've been a bunch of times to my wife likes it there.

It's not like a population center.

Yeah, it's on the polo fields, but like

in, I don't know,

I mean, I've, I've, I can get, I get offered free tickets every couple years, and I won't go for free because all that, all that is miserable.

Just to see like a band that that you like a lot from really far away sound okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is louder than life.

This is a review on Yelp by a guy named Scott, and he gave it five stars.

And he says, this review is addressed to Danny Wimmer, who puts on this festival as well as Bourbon and Beyond.

I'm well aware he's not going to read this, but for some reason, I want to talk to him.

So we got ourselves a literary Yelp reviewer, which we love over here.

Dear Danny, I have a real love-hate relationship with you.

My problem with you is that you so thoroughly dominate the Louisville market with your festivals that your festivals are pretty much the only chance to see a lot of really terrific acts.

Because of exclusivity deals, a band stop on one of your festivals is usually the only shot to see someone.

So either I pay to go to your festival or I'm out of luck.

This sucks as a consumer, particularly since a festival slot is usually shorter and often involves far less production, etc.

Not to mention the fact that your festivals are not at all cheap.

Okay, so that sounds like a bad review so far.

Now we get to the good.

But here's the thing:

while your festivals cost a lot of money, they're incredibly, incredibly well.

I promised Chris I would

catch any of you said incredibly?

I did say incredibly.

Okay.

Okay.

Yes.

Chris shouldn't have told you that.

I said I would.

He didn't tell me to.

That motherfucker.

I will get it.

I still, I can text his ass.

I'll just text him and say,

hopefully Fleet Foxes.

I keep saying, because his favorite band's Fleet Foxes, it's really the only band he listens to.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

That's it.

Yes, food and drinks are expensive, but you also allow people to bring in water bottles and provide more than adequate water stations.

There are more than adequate restroom, and thank goodness for that.

And the lineups are quite frankly incredible.

Louder than life in particular had so many great acts that I wasn't able to physically see them all at once because a human can't be in two places at once.

Now, this is this last paragraph is the reason I cut this because he seems,

it's just annoying.

So, Danny.

You are my best friend and my worst enemy at the same time.

I would love to pick your brain about how you do what you do.

If you you ever want to have lunch with a peasant when you're in Louisville, by all means, call me, oh, what a guy.

What a disgusting.

Like,

first of all, he wants to hang out with the promoter of a festival, and they're evil.

So,

like, the amount of money they get out of you.

This guy goes, well, organized festival, we sprang for the VIP tickets, and I found them to be worth it due to the bathroom trailers with running water to wash your hands.

Reverse osmosis, water bottle fillers, big VIP tent, and some seating outdoors.

Really solid lineup.

Good sound, and a crowd behaved themselves.

I don't like that.

I don't.

Boring.

Don't like it when a guy says somebody behaved themselves.

And anybody, really.

Nobody should ever say that about adults.

He goes, if it weren't for just being outdoors for 11 or so hours a day, I would definitely come back.

I'll leave this festival to younger me.

So that is that.

That is our reviews.

And now we're going to do the game.

Chris hates it when I do a game.

I'm going to do a game.

This is the Lollapalooza.

Let me go pee real fast.

I'll be

tired.

I have to as well.

I got to have my head clear for this game.

Mike, mark it down.

Okay.

I went and looked at this year's Lollapalooza lineup.

And I looked at the low-level bands on it.

I think they call them like the fifth or like the third or fourth line.

The small print.

Small print.

The small print bands.

And I made up a few.

and I made up, and then I also have some real ones here.

We're going to, you guys are going to try to figure out which one's real and which ones I made up.

All right.

And

first one, I'm going to read.

I'm going to go with Rob first.

All right.

Jev, J

E V

J E V.

I'm going to go real.

And Tony, Jev, J-E-V.

I'm also going to go real.

Did you know that one, Tony?

That is true.

It is real.

No, but it's one of those ones.

It's kind of like a stupid name.

I think that'd be a tough one to make up.

Well, don't say that.

Here we go.

The next one.

Craig's Choice.

That's Craig's Choice.

Let's go with Tony first.

I'm going to say this one's fake.

Rob.

Craig's choice.

Craig's choice.

I'm going to go real on this one as well.

All right, Tony's right.

It is fake.

Craig's choice.

I made that one up.

It sounds like a ska band that doesn't that, but the type of ska that doesn't exist anymore.

Okay, so we're gonna start with Rob on this next one.

Uh,

old Merv's

old merves,

Yes.

Old Merv's.

Plural?

Yep.

M-E-R-V-S.

That is

fake.

And Tony, Old Mervs.

That one's real.

It's probably a garage rock band, and they think the name Merv is funny.

I cannot believe this.

Tony got that one right.

Old Merves is a real band, which is an insane name.

How about we're going to go with

we'll start with Tony on this time.

Eddie and the getaway.

Eddie and the getaway.

I'm going to say also real.

And Rob, Eddie and the Getaway.

Fake.

That one's real too.

Tony, you haven't gotten one wrong yet.

They're probably sold

band.

I don't actually know any.

So the next one is Scrag.

S-K-R-A-G.

That one's real.

I listened to them.

You listened to Scrag?

No, but you've just confirmed to me it's real.

Tony, Scrag?

It sounds

like that.

I'm going to go real.

I got you both, motherfucker.

That's a fake name.

Scrag.

It's close.

Somebody.

I was going to make you make a word for a band, and that's why I thought it was happening with Jev.

So good job.

It's funny.

Scragg is a funny name because

I did one of these one time, I think for Prague Rock bands, right?

And I had Steve Slikowski from Pup On.

He was like very knowledgeable about that kind of stuff.

And I got him a few times with fake ones.

But one of the ones that was fake that I made up was real.

It ended up being real.

Like somebody sent me a link to the band of the fake name that I made up.

And I was like, that's weird.

Scragg's a good name.

Scrag?

Yeah.

If you're in a band and you want to be Scrag, go for it.

I think it would be great for you.

This one is the next one.

It's Stamps on an Envelope on a Plane.

Rob, Stamps on an Envelope on a Plane.

That, okay.

Real.

Stamps on an Envelope on a Plane, Tony.

Real.

I got you both again.

It's it's fake

that sounds real though doesn't it

so bad it sounds real it did and you know like the worst band at coachella can i tell you my

process for this please red jumpsuit apparatus yeah that's what i was i was thinking something like that yeah that's what my process was like i need a band that is like red jumpsuit apparatus.

I've never heard that band in my life.

I don't even know what the music is.

Clap your hands, say yeah.

Is it

you can make, yeah,

yeah, they're good.

Um,

we got the next one, Mary Dropins.

And I want to say D-R-O-P-P-I-N-Z Tony.

Uh, real,

Rob, Mary Dropins, ending with a Z

fake.

Mary Dropins is real.

Oh my God.

I know.

They don't sound, none of them sound real.

That's why I wanted to do the game.

Well, they all sounded real until that one.

The small

print bands are always like,

I don't know who any of these guys are.

And I'm always proud of myself if I know one of them.

You know what I mean?

Like when you get to like the smallest letters and you're like, like at Sonic Temple, Silly Goose was like at the very bottom, and I love Silly Goose.

And I was like, Yeah, I'm pretty cool.

I'm

into the band at the way bottom.

That's right.

That's right.

I'm early on.

The symposium.

Oh, sorry.

I was going to say it's kind of fun to look at older ones and see like

bigger bands who are

kind of small at the bottom at the time.

Yeah.

Lollapalooza.

Lollapalooza, I think, is like a strange festival because the lineups are maybe the most unpredictable.

Because

at

Coachella, you know, you're going to get like the big pop acts, right?

You're going to get like a Lady Gaga.

You're going to get like a

Claro, like all, you're going to get the big, huge pop act.

You're not going to, I don't, I mean, I guess they do it sometimes at Lollapalooza, but like this year, Corn is headlining one of the nights.

And like, it's really strange.

I, I don't, I, I like the vibe of Lollapalooza, and I've been in town while it's going on.

I will say this about it.

The weather in Chicago when Lollapalooza is going on is fucking terrible.

Like, as bad as it gets, it's so hot.

So fucking hot there.

There's not any festivals.

It's always like back.

Like, Coachella is always super hot.

I know.

It wasn't that bad this year, but

it's always bad weather.

It was the Sonic Temple weather was great, like all three days, except the first day it got cold at night, so it was like

45 degrees, and nobody dressed for that.

And corn was playing, and I ain't leaving early during corn, I'm a corn guy.

So the next, the next one we have here is the symposium, Tony, the symposium, uh, fake.

Um, okay, Rob, symposium, real,

that is real,

that is a real band.

I kind of thought, like, I need to get some generic sounding names.

And finally, for the last one,

I'm going to, it's Argento Starling.

Argento Starling.

Tony, is Argento Starling real?

Yes, real.

Rob, is Argento Starling real?

I'm pretty sure I saw that on a festival flyer once, so I'm gonna say real.

It's fake.

Oh, my God.

Tony, you won by a lot, but I will say, uh, uh, it was impressive that both of you got them.

These, it was three to oh, wait, there's two more.

I'm trying to because I did them out of order, right?

So, still, did I say, yeah, I think this is the last one, still woozy,

still woozy,

Tony.

I'm going to say real.

And Rob, still woozy.

Real.

All right.

You guys got that right.

Those are real.

And it was six to four this time.

Tony wins.

But Rob, you weren't, Rob, you never had a chance because Tony knows every band that's ever existed.

I didn't know any of those bands.

But you, you go to shows and you, I toured with Tony once,

with Tony and Alexander.

We toured and

we would be talking about bands in the car.

And I'm such a dork.

I'm like talking about the bands I like.

And then they'll start talking about the bands they listen to.

And they sound like the coolest guys in the world.

They're just like naming like all these bands that I've never heard of.

And I was like, damn, that must be badass.

It's opposite.

It's opposite.

We're just total nerds.

And then

Alex makes me feel the way you felt that day all the time.

Yeah, I felt like that the whole trip.

That's more stuff than I know.

Yeah, because on the whole trip,

it was like Alex would name one and you'd be like, oh, yeah, I did see them.

Let's get one final one off R slash Bonnaroo.

That's one I have friends that have gone to.

Oh, yeah, that's in Tennessee, right?

I always wanted to go when I was younger.

Yeah.

I looked at it.

What's fucked up is now that John Cullen has gotten me media passes for one show,

I'm like, we should get media.

Can you get me media passes for Bonnaroo?

Like, like, just him like, how do I get media passes for everything?

And by the way, if you think it's some kind of fancy media pass thing, I'm going to tell you right now,

it's not.

They gave me the worst tickets you could possibly have.

And

it sucked.

The treatment of the media is horrible horrible these days.

And I'm sick and tired of what's going on with journalists out there, the way they treat us.

Listen,

there's no shame in that.

If you have a way to get into a shit for free, if you can get on a list or whatever, always, always do it.

Always do it.

It's having somebody that knows how to write the email.

You know what I mean?

Like, because there's an email that you send and there's a way that you can finesse the numbers and stuff like that, because they can't look at the numbers anyway.

So, I think like it's pretty easy to get them if you have like a podcast.

That's how you support the band.

This guy from R.

Boneru says, if they book red-hot chili peppers again, I'm out.

Third time in 15 years, haven't released anything relevant in 10 plus years.

They're not good live, and they have toured the country two summers in a row.

Sounds just like a headliner Rue would book.

So, this guy's out, and I'm going to tell you some of the comments comments on this thread are so fucking crazy.

First, the guy goes, I'm not super thrilled either, but this will be a good time to go back to camp and take a nap.

Bonnaroo is never not a great time.

So

take a nap during the headlines.

Take a nap during the headliner.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

RHCP puts on a fucking show.

I've seen them five plus times and it never gets old.

They're forever evolving and their new album is amazing.

They embody the Bonnaroo spirit.

Man, man.

Especially now that they have John Frashanti back.

They would put on an even better show than they did back in 2017.

Flea is 61 years old and still handstands across the stage like it's nothing.

They always bring the energy, and I'd love to have them back.

So

Flea is 61, and he can do a handstand.

That's cool.

Honestly, why even play the bass if you can't do a handstand?

Like, I hate it when I see a bassist and they're not doing handstands.

They do naked.

They do the naked thing.

I wonder if they say

sock thing.

Yeah, that's actually a funny thing.

I think you can either date 19-year-olds or continue to do the suck thing.

I don't think you get to do both.

So I think he chose 19-year-olds.

Well, now

this guy, Potty Potty69, says, Google Anthony Keatus, 14-year-old, for more info on this.

Yeah, yeah.

This guy, trespassing look, responds and says, crazy how all these musicians who have 14-year-old quote groupies back in the 80s get booked wherever they want.

But if any musician today sends a vaguely creepy text to a 17-year-old, they get immediately on person.

Yeah,

it sucks it's not the way it was in the 70s.

It's insane.

It's fucking bullshit.

You can't even have sex with teens anymore.

Yeah.

Oh, one 17-year-old and I'm canceled all of a sudden.

What the hell?

I had one nude from a kid and everyone's all mad at me.

He goes,

yeah, there's a few.

There were a bunch of other ones where they were just defending him.

I find it very strange, like, in my mind,

the impulse to defend

something like that because you want to hear Californication live.

You know what I mean?

I don't know.

Unfortunately, a lot of it is a a lot of these guys think that, like, well, I want to be with a 19-year-old, too.

That's probably true, also.

What if one day a 19-year-old finds me appealing?

I got to get ahead of this, yeah, yeah, for sure.

So, that is

Music Festival, guys.

We had a game, we read about poop,

and uh,

you know, we read some Ticketmaster reviews.

Tony

is from Minion Death Cult, and it's a good show, and you should always listen to it.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

And get on their Patreon, man.

And Rob Wisman, do you want to plug anything?

He's on Huckwatch.

Oh, yeah.

Let's see.

Oh,

I have a Twitch stream.

Oh,

where I

make beats, but it's all

done as like a fantasy adventure RPG where the goal of

every stream is to make a beat.

I commissioned all this artwork, and yeah, it's called BeatQuest.

Check it out.

Thank you for saying that.

Let's

TV slash Rob Wisman.

Let's win.

I might change it.

I don't know when this will come out, but it might be slash

beatQuest by the time.

Okay.

I may or may not be at slash beatquest by that time.

We'll see you all next week with

fuck, I don't know.

Something.

It'll be great.

Goodbye.

Bye.

thanks for having me.