Guys: Episode 120 - College Guys with Spencer Hall

Welcome to guys, a podcast about guys.

I am an alumni of the Ohio State University, Brian Quinby.

Chris can't be bothered to come to work, so he's not.

But you said you weren't you were gonna be nice

i am being nice to him behind the scenes i'd never be nice to him on the show okay disgusting all right bros oh do you think he would be nice to me uh i think i think he would be i think he is a very kind person yeah

i don't know about that uh so as you can hear we have stephan here where'd you go to college uh i went to university of victoria in in canada is that a real college is that an accredited university yes it's an accredited it's canadian but yeah it's an accredited university i'm sorry we don't know about those down here and our guest this week is spencer hall hi spencer hi did you go to college

i went to i went to college at the university of florida oh we don't like them here dude yeah you don't like anything dude

well here's the thing i don't oh someone from oh is unhappy

here's the thing i did not go to college until i was 36 years old, first of all.

So we're going to read a lot of guys like that.

And I did finish it.

I cared a lot more about the football

before I went to college than I did when I got out.

Once I got out, I was like, I'll tell you what it was.

It was, there was a student in one of my classes,

and I, and I had, well, first of all, there's this class was like an intro to work, sociology of work class.

Okay.

And the guy wore a trench coat and a fedora.

And he would come in and he would play us South Park clips to teach us about this.

Sorry, this was the teacher?

Yes.

Okay.

Yeah.

He would vape in front of the room, too.

And yeah, he'd come in and be like, here, check out this South Park clip.

This perfectly describes the, you know, the thing we're trying to talk about here.

And then he would show us libertarian videos.

And at this time,

is this like the guy who like inspired you more than anyone in the world?

Well, he did inspire me to be like, I don't think all the college professors are all there.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Like,

you're there, and I'm old, and I'm a white trash guy, and I'm sitting there, and I'm like, everything these guys says is.

This is high school, but I had a geography teacher who showed us loose change.

And that was in like 2004, i think maybe it was like the year it came out uh

and it was the idea was to like uh teach us how to be more of like a free thinker it's like i kind of just want to learn about like uh

like earthquakes and stuff you know but well i mean and then so i'm i'm 35 36 years old and one of the students uh one of the football players is sitting next to me in the class

and i realize oh my god this kid's 18 years old.

You know what I mean?

And then I think back to all the times in my life where I've been sitting at some fucking party where they're watching Ohio State play Michigan and 50-year-old men are like, I wish he would fucking die.

And then you're like, I know, this took all the romanticism out of this football for me.

I enjoy the tension between that 50-year-old man and the 18-year-old athletic Wonderkin in SpongeBob square pants, pajama pants, taking the practice field.

It's adorable.

There's somebody who's ready to murder a stranger over a missed field goal, and there's someone on the field who's like, yeah, you know what?

I'm more of a Patrick guy, actually.

Yes, that's exactly.

So, yeah, and that teacher was such a prick to the kid that played football, too.

Like, and it started, he was an adjunct of course they're not gonna well this is the sorry the south park libertarian fedora wearing guy didn't like uh like a really high level almost like pro athlete yeah okay not nice to the guy man like yeah the guy would be like a couple minutes late to class he'd be like you think you can get away with that in here you're wrong You know what I mean?

But did he say that to anyone?

You were late all the time.

Oh, right.

No, I'm never late.

I'm always on time.

No,

I was old, so I don't count as like a student.

You know what I mean?

Like when you're 36 and you're in college, it's a lot different

because, like, first of all, the teachers all just treat you like they're your friend.

You know what I mean?

Like, I had one teacher that asked me for advice

about her son because he was doing drugs all the time.

And he,

which, hey, you know,

came to the right guy.

What?

What college is really cool?

It was called Sociology of Gangs.

You didn't take a gang.

Come on.

The violence gang guy took a gangs class?

Well, first of all, I was never in a violence gang, and I wanted to learn about gangs.

Were you, okay.

Did you, what, what prompted you to go to the gangs?

Was it just to kind of like, were you going to go there to be like, let's see like what they really know about it?

Like, did you go in as the expert, sort of?

Or...

Yeah, I went in and said,

okay, how many of you guys are feeding one of your friends birth control and then punching him in the face 10 years later?

And if that's not fucking happening, this is not a gang.

Yeah.

Did you feel as though you learned a lot from that class?

Because it sounds like

you were teaching the teacher, really, right?

I will say, no.

She did teach me a lot.

Okay.

But one day after class, I had to ask for a letter of recommendation for something.

Right.

For to get into a gang.

Not to get it yet.

Can you get me jumped into the crypt?

I'm going straight MS-13.

Come on.

I didn't go to college to get into a language, my own language gang.

I need to level up.

I go,

yeah, can I get a letter of recommendation?

She starts talking to me.

And then we start talking about, she goes, my son just

he's on drugs and i sent him to one of those boot camps where they take him out into the woods and like scream at him for a week or whatever make him shit in a hole and that you know what i mean that didn't help no she's like he came back didn't do anything for him what would you do and i was like

Brother, I don't know.

I think I told her what I always say about myself, which is stupid, is like, I don't know, you can do some drugs, you know?

I mean, well, I think you were sort of evidence.

You went to you, you were 36 years old.

You got your life together.

You're back in university, right?

So you could, you, you know, I think that's, I mean, you're taking sociology of gangs, but

did you come back to this woman and say, have you considered allowing your child to do drugs?

No.

Well, I get that sounds like what you're sounds like.

It does sound like that's what you said, yeah.

Kind of.

I said, listen, like.

Okay.

I had a crazy drug habit, is what I said to her.

I mean, I was, I spent $600 a week on pills.

And, and I did go to Ohio State.

So I was like,

I'm taking, I was taking all these fucking pills.

It was crazy.

I went to rehab.

They kicked me out of rehab.

So I, you know, I didn't even make it through rehab.

I was like, and I'm relatively clean now.

And I told her, like, all I do is like smoke weed.

And every once in a while, if somebody has some drugs, I'll take some drugs, you know, but I don't go searching for drugs.

Right.

And she was like, oh, that's very like a mature way to look at it.

And I was like, yeah, just tell your son that.

And then she wrote me a letter of recommendation and we never spoke again.

But

I did.

I told her, maybe your little kid can have some drugs as a treat every now and then, you know?

I think he was an older guy.

And

I think sending a guy to a boot camp is the worst way to deal with something like that.

I think.

I think the way I explained it to her was like, when I quit,

Stefan, what are you doing?

You over here playing around?

Hello?

Oh, he froze.

Hi, Stefan.

Hey, sorry.

My Firefox crashed there for some reason.

So, yeah.

You were giving this teacher advice about doing drugs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So anyway, I helped her out.

It's very nice.

This week on guys, we're talking about college guys.

That's why I ask everybody what college they went to.

That's not like a normal thing for guys because most of the people that do this show are fucking idiots.

Yeah.

It's a show hosted by two idiots.

That's not changing this week, buddy.

So I went and I looked at R slash frat

because those guys love college.

So is, okay, because you, you, I know you were looking at like R slash college, R slash frat.

What is the general tenor?

I mean, we're going to find out, but what is the general tenor of these subreddits?

Because is the frat stuff just like, is it people reminiscing about being in frats?

Is it people asking for frat advice?

Is there?

It's both.

We're going to look at a lot of reminiscing.

Okay, that's kind of what I figured.

Yeah.

A lot of weird old guys.

This episode is going to be, yes, we're talking about college, but we're really talking about weird old guys.

Wonderful.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Not like me when I was there, because here's the deal.

I was, yes, 36 when I went to college.

I went to campus.

I did the college.

I went home and raised my kid.

You know what I mean?

Were you the oldest guy in your class?

Oh, a lot of times, not every time, but like a lot of times when I, once I switched to Ohio State, so I went for two years to community college.

Good.

Right.

Good.

Shouts out to community college.

I loved it.

Seriously, fantastic opportunity.

Local, easy, convenient, often with way better instruction and way more more personal attention than you're going to get at a large university.

Yeah, respect to community college.

Totally right.

You're a hundred.

I mean, I think I got more out of my two years at community college than I did at Ohio State.

That's what everyone says.

My aunt and uncle taught at community college for a long time, and they would always say, like, yeah, people would come here for two years and then go to like a bigger college.

And they're like so much better prepared for it because of the two years of community college.

Yeah, it really was.

I only failed like one class at community college, and that's because I just, it was humanities, and I just, I can't read that crap you know what i mean can you define very briefly can you define can you define that crap well a lot of it was like plato and stuff like that no that's true plato is a dumbass well quote me on it

plato a bitch

there it's crazy because it's the worst day one of the worst days for me was i was reading you know we were assigned this play-doh or whatever and uh i was reading it but i couldn't get through it and i was like fuck it so i was like, I'm going to go to the exam.

I'm sure the exam's just a bunch of multiple choice questions.

I'll kind of have an educated guess because I'll know what the guy's talking about.

And it wasn't.

It was an essay.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Okay.

So I just had to sit down and write an essay about stuff I never read.

I should have just got up and left.

And I wish I could get my hand on those essays now.

What was the general, like,

how did it go, do you think?

It was me guessing at what Plato might say.

Okay.

See, I think you could accidentally, you're the type of guy.

I think you could actually, you sort of are a philosopher of the streets in some way.

So I think you could sort of accidentally get there.

Just trying to guess what somebody would say that you have no.

What's your opinion on being stuck inside a cave?

Yeah.

Sounds like it sucks.

Do you think that there is a single iconic white monster energy can that all of us have in our head that is the basis for the one that we produce in real life?

I wish I could see him.

I got a zero on it, by the way.

Wow.

It was that bad.

If you don't know anything about a guy and then you're just writing what you think a guy would say based on his name.

Yeah.

Because some teachers will give you like, they'll give you like one mark for like putting your name on the test just to make sure you're like paying attention and kind of doing all the teacher probably disliked me once they read like the lack of effort in the class.

You know what I mean?

I don't want to see this essay.

I would do anything to see.

What you're saying is that you actually lost points the further you went into the essay.

You probably started with like a 30, and then the antipathy just built to the point where the instructor said, ah, fuck this guy.

I mean, I would be like, okay, you can't guess on essay questions.

It's not like a thing.

So anyway, I was looking at this and I found this interesting.

This is of R slash Frat.

The guy goes, alumni, have you visited your fraternity after graduation?

He goes, if yes, are they the same or different than your time?

What do you like or dislike about how your fraternity is doing these days?

I'm genuinely curious to hear your perspective.

So,

one, if I had to guess now, and none of these people hadn't read any of these answers, I would say no.

I have yeah, it seems like I can't imagine any of like the 18, 19, 20-year-old frack guys are like excited when the old guy shows up to like reminisce about 20 years ago.

No, sir.

It seems so strange to do.

It seems so like I get it when you go and walk around college campus that you went to.

You know what I mean?

Like, whatever.

It's a beautiful.

Ohio State's a beautiful campus.

Go walk around it.

Take a look.

Spencer, is that true?

Is Ohio State a beautiful campus?

Do you know?

It's all right.

Yeah, Michigan's pretty good.

Listen, it's a nice, listen, it's a nice Midwestern looking spot.

Like, that's, you know, it's, it's not Ann Arbor.

I gotta admit, Michigan's got a prettier campus.

Point, point.

I will say, you're kicking Illinois' ass.

You're absolutely kicking Illinois' ass.

It's weird growing up around here because, like, you go to other colleges and the campuses seem really small to you, but it's because your campus is so much

than everything else that you're like, man, what do you guys do around here?

But

because it's huge.

This guy goes, when I was active, I would occasionally find a friendly 20 or 30-year-old year old drinking a beer in a lawn chair on our porch.

Upon talking to him, I would found out he was an alumni passing through town, stopping to enjoy a treasured porch beer.

Now that I'm an alumnus, I sure enjoy stopping for a porch beer when I'm in town or passing through.

That seems really...

That just seems kind of weird to me.

It sort of, it has the same vibe of like hobos in the 1920s.

This is just being a vagrant.

Yeah, I was going to say.

Yeah, like carving the little symbols, being like, okay,

it's safe to have a porch beer here.

They do have a beer bong here.

This is, yeah, this is a code message somewhere in the lyrics of Rock Candy Mountain, right?

That's luxury vagrant behavior.

Yes.

It's also very funny.

It reminds me of like when I was in high school.

And a guy that had already graduated was there sort of visiting one of his teachers

after school was over, you know?

That that I can sort of understand because maybe the teacher inspired them maybe they taught them about gangs or loose change or something but yeah this is just like you had a really good time like drinking there for four years or whatever and a porch beer it it just the whole thing it makes me uncomfortable to think of a guy being like 30

It graduated for 10 years and he's just like, you know what?

I have a convention here in town.

I'm going to stop in.

I'm going to sit on the porch.

I'm going to drink one of their beers.

Maybe some people will come and get some wisdom from me.

It's really going to be great.

I think that's what they're looking for.

They want to be approached by the frat guys.

Is there any reply

in this post about like from someone who is like young and in a frat saying like, yeah, we love it when the old guys show up and

well,

this guy goes.

Homecoming fundraisers and weddings normally gain my attendance.

I think the dynamic is pretty much the exact same with a perfect balance of rowdy and wholesome.

Granted, I'm about two and a half years out, so I'm entering the gray area where I'm about to be the old guy that wasn't active with any of the current actives.

However, the house is so welcoming and fun, especially when there are alumni in town.

So I normally meet all the AMs, execs, and make it a point to connect with as many guys as possible.

Further granted, I'm on the alumni board, but that doesn't make each trek back to my alma mater and home chapter house any better or worse.

And a guy replies and and goes, Brother,

you're the old guy already.

You just have yet to accept it.

Yeah, I think if you're on the alumni board, even if you're like, I mean, this guy sounds like he's like 24 on the alumni board.

That's, I mean, that's old guy behavior, being on a board.

I think there's an orbit, though.

It's weird if you're the 30-year-old guy who shows up for a porch beer.

But I do think old school holds true here.

I think if you're the 60-year-old guy hanging out on the porch having a porch beer, for some reason, that's cooler.

I didn't say cool.

It's closer to cool if you're the 60 year old guy who's like yeah i just came by the old friend

i think you're right yeah you'd be so hype as a 19 year old to be like oh my god there's a weird grandpa out there just housing a beer i think that's a good point it's sort of like um the the sideshow bob like rake thing where it like stops being funny and then it starts being funny again like i think you're right there's there's like this this curve sort of where yeah like 30 35 i don't know that's that's like kind of creepy and then old it's like well he's just some like old drunk sitting in our front yard like that's that's just inherently funny.

This guy goes, yeah, I try to stop in once a year, usually for homecoming, but sometimes on a random weekend.

I like it.

For the most part, I'm proud.

Everyone seems solid, nice, and they're all well-adjusted.

They're also not wusses either.

So that's a plus.

Sometimes you're conducting like tests of like masculinity.

Did these like kick in the door and be like, that's it, 100 push-ups right now.

Right now.

I'm not happy about the hair these guys have.

These broccoli bro hair

cuts are just awful.

awful.

If I were rich, I'd drop them off with my credit card at a Ralph Lauren with a J.

Crew close by.

They dress awful too.

And the music is trash.

This Xanax rap music is just no.

Oh, my God.

You can't even hear what words these rappers are saying.

Oh, okay.

So that took a little bit of a turn there.

Oh,

God.

Why don't you guys listen to Fallout Boy anymore?

Yeah,

that's really what he's saying.

Wait, Imagine Dragons isn't cool?

That's fucking crazy.

Yeah,

you guys still bumping Rihanna?

Come on.

That is wild to come in and just be like, I'm the, if I was rich, man, I'd get you guys all a haircut.

It's such a weird way to act.

Like, about

that.

It's a really great example of like, this is like such a classic Reddit thing of like, I mean, there is a whole,

you know, subreddit called, Am I the Asshole?

And this is just a guy who doesn't even have the self-awareness to like think maybe he's being the asshole.

But it sounds like he is 30 years old.

Once a year, he goes into a frat, bullies a bunch of children, and then and like, like makes fun of what they're wearing, makes fun of their haircut, makes fun of the music they listen to.

Uh, and then, like, yeah, like you said, like tests how like wussy they are.

Um,

like, even just coming in, even just a guy coming in and be like, what are you, some kind of fucking wuss?

Like, like, you're picturing a 35-year-old man shotgunning a beer and then calling some kid with a broccoli haircut a wuss.

Yeah, way funnier if way funnier if they do this in reverse.

Like, if he shows up and they're like, buddy, we're getting you the broccoli haircut.

We're going to get you so hooked on only the most zannied out rap imaginable.

Yeah.

Yeah, they should be, they should be the ones getting bullied.

You're right.

Cause like, I think what it is is that, you know, I think when they're in the frat, it's like there's the seniority, obviously, right?

So like when you're in your fourth year, whatever, fifth year,

you're, you're sort of the guy in charge.

And then you've like the freshman and everything, right?

And I think they assume that seniority like keeps going forever.

So the older you get, the more like sway you hold within the frat.

Yeah, a guy stops in and he's like sack-tapping people and stuff like that.

Like, what the fuck are you doing, sir?

Also, the drug thing is mystifying to me because why would you come in?

And I say this as somebody who went to what I would call a pharmaceutically active campus.

Why would you come in and go, wow, you guys are doing the wrong drugs?

Iram, no, no, they're all wrong.

They're all wrong.

They're all super bad, you know?

Like,

I'm not saying don't do them.

I'm just saying be prepared.

There's a cost, brother.

Yeah.

I guess, nope, I was in grad school at the same university and would occasionally go to a party, but it was never the same.

The brothers always loved seeing me there, but I barely knew anyone and I was a TA as part of my program, so I could lose my funding if I so much as looked at a girl wrong.

I don't like this guy at all, by the way.

I'm going to tell you, I want to be on the record to tell you that this guy named Tarantino's favorite word is

Jesus Christ.

Okay.

Yeah, drill boy.

One time I did tell my student.

His name's Feet.

One time I did tell my student I'd give him an A if he could chug his beer faster than me.

I finished it, threw the empty can at the wall and called him a pussy.

Dude rushed that semester, lol.

Oh, I really like that he's openly saying like, well, I would like creep on all of the young women there, but I don't want to lose my job.

I know.

Obviously.

Like, I am, just to be clear, I am a creep, but I just, you know, I don't want to stop being a TA.

He is doing that thing that,

honestly, he's doing something that used to happen in the late 90s, really early 2000s.

Like when you think about the Olson twins, when people had those countdown clocks,

Like when Bill Simmons had one.

Did he have one?

I believe he had mentioned, there are several

awkward mentions.

Awkward is probably the most charitable.

Back during the page two days.

Yeah.

Back when I really don't think anyone knew that the internet could be seen in public.

Because it really was a thing that was going on.

Because this was an OP and Anthony at the time and Howard Stern, and they all were doing it.

You know what I mean?

So, here's a guy on R/Slash Friday.

He's got a serious problem.

This is tagged.

The flare on this is serious.

Okay.

Should we expel this pussy?

Okay.

This is not a joke.

There's an older member in our chapter that has caused a lot of problems with the executive board, spreading rumors about them and talking shit behind brothers' backs.

He's had several talks about it, but then decides to cry about it or always play the victim card.

He's constantly trying to break bylaws and get other people in trouble with him.

He's not necessarily anyone's close friend, but he still has some tight connections within the chapter, being on exec at one point.

No one really knows what to do with him at this point.

So I'm looking for advice here.

Now, I read this and I feel as though they're talking: is this guy a senior

or is this guy out of school?

I don't know what you do to be on the executive board of a fraternity.

It seems like maybe he'd be a senior.

Because can you expel a guy from a frat when he's like 40?

I mean, I guess you could.

I've seen people join frats in their 40s.

So

I've read a bunch of people asking if they should do that.

No, you don't want that, you know, marginally.

This is, by the way, why, like, among a thousand reasons why I didn't join fraternity, this is men talking about other feelings, other men's feelings, and having feelings about other men.

I don't, I didn't go to college for that.

I don't socialize for that.

I socialize to avoid those and to follow a niche interest with others.

I parallel play.

You can't engage in parallel play if you're in a frat.

You have to interact with people.

I went to college to take mushrooms and play

FIFA 09

and get to the point where we were so high on mushrooms that my friend refused to run the ball through the shaded area of the stadium.

So I beat him like 20 20 to nothing.

That's the college experience to me.

Yeah, like the 90s, the 90s version of that is doing ketamine and playing Tetrasphere.

Yeah.

Dude, I had that experience playing MLB baseball on PlayStation 1.

Yeah.

I took acid and like me and this guy are playing.

And you know how like in the old baseball games, if you don't grab the ball and throw it to the pitcher, it just goes.

It keeps going.

It keeps going.

You're just stuck out there.

there guy hits like the ball it hits the back wall of the place it bounces it sits there and i'm the guy and i all of a sudden like the acid trip went from when the pitch was thrown everything's really good when the ball was hit everything's really bad it was like that it was one of those things where it like changed on a dime and so i was like sitting there holding the controller and i kept taking the guy and running him into the wall and he would run into the wall fall down and go oh get up, and then move back a little bit.

And then I'd run him into the wall.

And he would get up and move back.

And I just was like, I did that for like 10 minutes.

And the dude was like, I'm fucking serious, dude.

If you don't fucking stop, like, I started getting yelled at.

You were playing with someone?

Yeah.

Okay, I thought you were playing by yourself.

He was screaming at me.

It was very strange.

It's like one of those weird nights that I, I, I,

where I did ask it that I remember because the police came.

Right.

The police came because you you were playing a video game so no no no no there was a lot going on okay this place this i lived in a garden apartment yeah which was attached to like five other apartments and like 10 of us would do acid there every night so

it was just so loud and people running around the neighborhood being obnoxious every night and uh the cops came one night And I was, I was like, they parked out in front of the apartment.

They were talking to a neighbor.

They weren't even there for us,

but they were parked in front of our apartment.

So they were there for you.

So, yeah.

We were just like, oh my God, what's going on?

Oh, my God.

Everybody came in the house and everybody's in the house going, shh,

like they wouldn't come to the door if we were quiet.

And I finally stood up.

I stood in front of a fucking thing.

And I was like, this is my house.

I will not be a prisoner in my own home.

And I started giving this fucking speech

to my friends and they were like, they were like, okay, dude, whatever, just shut up.

And then I walked outside and the cops were talking to my neighbor about something that happened in their house.

This guy goes, put it to a vote, have the discussion.

At the end of the day, a fraternity is a democratic institution and just let the process run its course.

Even if he isn't expelled, maybe the process will get him to realize that he should do A, just drop, or B, stop being a dick.

Now, this is a semi-normal answer to the question, followed by Seasalt, who has a strange answer to this question.

Okay.

Because

his idea of what a fraternity is might be one of the stranger ideas that I've run on a show.

All right.

You're thinking of a sorority.

A fraternity isn't a democracy, it's more of an oligarchy with a paramilitary hierarchy.

First of all, how dare you say a sorority does not have paramilitary characteristics?

Have you met one woman who organized things at a sorority?

I argue that you have not because paramilitary doesn't, that's military.

You could take the para right off.

Older influential brothers run shit and might makes right.

The younger brothers need to pay their dues to prove themselves.

A relatively unpopular shy sophomore's opinion is of little consequence and certainly not equal to that of social leaders that run shit.

Execs are mostly try-hard tools utilized for the handling of bitch work.

I mean,

guy, you're in a fraternity.

This is like, honestly, this dude is like Shaq.

You know, when Shaq talks about, at any point, talks about his fraternity experience, like when he's about to eat the hot chip, he's like, yeah, I went to Omega Psy Phi.

That's like being in the military.

Like a thousand military guys are like, it's good.

No, no.

I think the closest thing for me is that

I'm in like a really insane keeper hockey league that's been going on for like 11, 12 years at this point.

And it's like, it's like super serious.

Once a year, we go on like a big weekend trip.

We like draft in person.

We have like farm teams.

It's like really, really psycho and insane.

So I do sort of understand the feeling of like being a part of something like this.

I wouldn't consider it.

I don't consider it to be like a paramilitary thing.

And when we've had issues with people

in the pool in the past, normally you just like send them an email saying that they're like kicked out of the league.

So

this is you're out of Spider League.

Yeah.

And on the list of tough groups of people, frat is relatively low.

On that, like if you had a scale of like groups of tough guys, frat is under like 500 different things, in my opinion.

Yeah, yeah were they even mentioned in your gang class that you took no we hated frat guys when i was in when i was hanging out with my boys in groveport that this is caused the violence gang we hated them we didn't never met one in my life up until like way later on in life because

campus felt campus was a 20 minute drive from where we grew up but it felt like it was a 10 hour drive so we were never there we were you know in grove court and it's just i think we had heard about about frat guys.

And, and my friend had a brother that was in college and he had run afoul of some frat guys.

Okay.

So he would come home every once in a while.

And he would be like, there's these fucking frat guys, man.

They're a bunch of fucking pussies who was out trying to beat people up.

They're jumping them.

And it was like, oh, I hate those guys.

Like, we're all like, oh, I hate those guys.

I'd fuck them up if I went there.

You know what I mean?

So it could have been a good fight you never encountered them uh in person though stephan the only time i ever went to campus was to buy a bong or go to a corn concert those are the only two times that's that's exactly why you should go to campus

those are the two reasons yeah it's okay i'm gonna go see corn that's on campus or icp campus i feel like you could knock out the corn and bong thing in one trip also right i know i failed in english class because

all i had to do was take the test if i got more than a zero i would pass the class okay

but before the final exam my friends were like we're gonna go up to campus and get a bong and i was like well i'm not gonna miss out on that and uh

you wait you you failed in english class because you had to your friends had to go buy a bong yeah i went with them That's some bong to like help pick it out?

No, I wasn't allowed in the store.

You didn't even go in the store?

No.

I have any choice or anything.

I just stood, I waited in the car.

And they were.

You got to use the bong, right?

Yeah, I did.

Okay, all right.

Okay.

Always going crazy on that bong.

You know what I mean.

Is it okay to lie about your age in college?

This is from R/slash college.

I went back to school as an adult.

I'm 32.

So this guy and I are pretty close.

I was, I think 32.

So he's a TV.

This is a TV high schooler.

Yes.

Yeah.

I'm 32 and have been back in school for one year.

However, despite being 32, most people

think I look in my 20s, like 23 to 25.

Okay.

I will tell you, I absolutely love being in college.

The people I meet, the trips we take, I'm really trying to make the most of this experience.

I'm currently maintaining a 4.0 GPA, but I'm also in a few different clubs.

I'm in the process of starting a billiards club.

I'm working on an internship over the summer and just got offered a job for when the internship's over.

We go skiing and mountain biking and take trips to conferences in New York City and New Orleans and all over the place.

After working BS jobs and working open to close and dealing with customer service, et cetera, college is like an escape to a resort.

However, a problem tends to come up when my age is brought up.

So that all sounds very nice.

Now we get to the part where he goes, everyone I meet, we tend to hit it off.

We get along in class and club meetings, on trips we take, etc.

I get invited over for poker games or cookouts.

Everything's great.

Then I get asked my age and I tell them 32 and I just see their entire body language shift.

Yeah, dude.

He's got old on you.

No shit.

I mean, come on.

Nark.

Nark.

You're NARC.

They are genuinely shocked and they'll tell me they thought I was just a really mature 23 years old.

At first, I just took it as flattering, thinking surely all the good times we've had won't get outweighed by my age, but it does seem to make a difference to them.

I won't get invited as much.

They want to hang out on campus.

They won't want to hang out on campus.

Sometimes I ask myself, why do I care what a bunch of kids who are 12 years younger than I am thinks?

That's the question you should be asking.

But okay.

Someone moves on from that pretty quick.

It sounds like asking the correct question of yourself.

But it just sucks getting dismissed for something that's out of your control and doesn't change.

Who am I or the quality of engagement I bring?

At first, I thought it was just one group, but then it happened again great times with new people i met then get asked my age then ghosted so my question is is it okay to just lie i feel like if i just told them i was 24 they wouldn't feel so weird and we could keep hitting it off but that is an insane thing to do don't do that if you're in your 30s and you're hanging out with a bunch of teenagers or even people in their early 20s do not tell them that you're 24.

that is always not a good idea and also it sounds like a lot of people already know your age.

So,

like, if you start lying to like one group of people, they're going to find out that you are 32, and then they're going to be like, it's weirder that you lied about your age rather than just saying you're 32.

That is like the really psycho thing to do.

Like, there's also going to be telltale signs.

Like, I'm like, so I rented a car.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Or, by the way, I'm starting, I'm starting a billiards club, which apparently this guy was doing.

Yeah, like,

you guys never heard of the hustler?

Yeah, it's gonna,

it's gonna stack up on you real fast, buddy.

You guys ever seen the color of money?

You had it on VHS.

Because it's not black and white.

He's like, it's a newer movie.

But part of me feels like I shouldn't have to lie.

But if they really don't want to hang out with me just because of my age, I should just move on and think of it as their loss.

And listen, I'm not asking if I should lie so I can be a weirdo.

Yeah, you are.

Well,

yeah, you are.

though.

I don't want to lie about my age and pretend I'm someone I'm not because I'm strange.

I want to do it because I'm malevolent.

Yeah, I'm doing this for a very normal reason, by the way.

I'm not hanging out with 20-year-olds.

I'm not asking about sleeping with girls or trying to do anything unethical.

I'm just looking for a second perspective on considering this so I can make the most of this decision to go back to school.

I mean, don't women lie about their age all the time?

Do they?

I don't know.

No, not an answer.

I don't think as much as this guy thinks they do.

Yeah.

So also, like, honestly, if that were your concern, why would that not be an advantage?

You could go to a woman who was looking for a partner, point to your competition, and simply say, I have a headboard and credit.

Yeah, that guy's 19.

They don't know anything.

Here's a guy asking an interesting question on R slash Rat.

Rushing at 29.

Is 29 too old?

I know the answer is

did that guy not get anything?

No, he got no responses at all.

Okay, that's all right.

Well, that's probably for the best.

Is 29 too old?

I know, yes.

I know the answer is yes, but I used the search button and some people were saying they had people in their late 20s, early 30s in their pledge class.

My school's a big state, top party school.

I probably won't get a bid unless I lie about my age, as someone else

had done who was 30 plus and initiated, and the brothers found out they were deciding if they should kick him out, but he was really cool.

I don't know if it's worth lying about my age, but I do look early 20.

These guys are all very, very common.

Yeah,

no, you don't.

You definitely don't, you don't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Take that hat off and say that again.

Yeah, exactly.

I want to see the hairline.

I want to see the expanding jowls.

Come on.

The hairline is it.

I know.

I know the hairline of jowls will give you away every time.

I just went to, I just went to this big metal festival, Sonic Temple,

where Corn played, and so did Metallica played a couple shows.

And like Corn gets on stage, and I'm watching them, and I'm just like, oh, my God, these guys all have hair plugs.

Like, every one of them.

I think.

Good ones.

Oh, yeah.

And I think they got dreadlocks installed on their head.

Oh, my God.

Because that's, I'm going to show you.

I'll show you a picture.

I showed this on my stream yesterday.

And I saw it and I was like, come on.

Well, okay, Tom Walker thinks

that it might,

Tom Walker thinks it might be a wig.

I don't think so.

But this is a crazy picture.

I'm going to show you guys a picture right now, and you're going to see this guy.

This is one of the guys from Corn.

This is one of the guys from Corn.

Okay.

All right.

This is from 2025.

Oh, fucking.

Okay.

Well, let me go back.

Sorry, guys.

Okay.

I'm going to just show you.

I'm going to share my screen here.

Okay.

and show you guys what this guy's hair looks like.

Okay.

And like, okay, so I have him on screen here.

Right.

These are all pictures from 2025.

Yeah.

And

he is in his 50s now.

And this is the fakest hair anybody's ever had.

That's a really full head of hair.

The hairline is

perfect.

Are those dreads?

Yes, they are.

Those are dreads.

Okay, so you're trying to tell me that is a a 50-year-old man with a full head of dreads?

Yeah.

I don't think so.

You know what?

Imagine.

I want you to imagine if your dad came home

with a full helmet full of dreads.

It would be the greatest day of my life.

Holy shit.

I'd be ecstatic.

That was my question.

I was like, wait, wait.

Because I always wanted dreadlocks when I was a kid.

Obviously.

Huge corn fan.

Can I go to Turkey and get dreadlocked?

Brian, no.

Can I?

Not one.

I want you to get.

No, I want the full Istanbul, buddy.

I want the veneers.

I want the dreads.

I want you to achieve European male excellence

at once.

JF and I have talked about doing like a long-term subscriber goal on Go Off Kings where we both go to Turkey and get our hair on.

Holy fuck.

I would triple.

I would triple a subscription.

I would give you guys $1,000 each to go to Turkey and get the full Master Shake plastic surgery cap.

Yeah.

I mean, like.

I just want to look like a Chad, you know?

I think that would be so good.

Don't, hey, don't get one of those broccoli cuts.

Okay.

No, I don't think I would do that.

I mean, I'll say this.

I think

the thing that has made me feel better about my, I've got the combination big forehead, receding hairline.

And the thing that has made me feel so much better about it and feeling like represented is Walton Goggins.

Yeah.

And just like, I mean, he's a very handsome guy, obviously, but like he pulls that off so well.

He has a big ass forehead and his hairline is going fucking crazy.

Do you know what he has to balance it, though?

That he has obviously had installed as a secondary part.

Veneers.

That's right.

That man has got a gigantic set of chompers.

Spencer, that was the other thing.

Is so on night two, we get there, me and my brother are like, we're going to see Metallica.

We've never seen Metallica, but before it's like a bucket list sort of thing for my brother, he really wants to see him.

We see him.

They put the camera on James Hetfield.

Lars Alrich's way behind him on the drums.

You can see Lars Alsrick's veneers.

Almost like the camera is trying to focus on James, but it can't because there's this like really bright white thing in the back of the shot.

And I just was like,

it is very funny that heavy metal guys are getting the surgeries and stuff.

The craziest veneers to me are Jürgen Klopps.

Jürgen Klopp has listened.

Klopp has nuts.

Klopp has undergone this full transformation.

Not only does he have, admittedly, the plugs, when asked about them, he said, Yes, I think the results are quite spectacular, don't you?

Like

he's telling everybody, like, it's the most German dude everything ever.

It's like, why would I die?

Yes, had them installed.

They're beautiful.

It's really good.

But the veneers, like, because he's in the Travago commercials, right?

And I think it's to the point where a lot of people just know him as the Travago veneers guy.

Yeah.

Because they look so crazy.

But I, I mean, if he's into it, I love it.

I'm getting like teeth stuff done right now.

And like, I will say this.

I had a dentist years ago who told me that my lip goes too low

and it looks like I might not have teeth on the top.

And he was like, you know what we can do to fix that?

Veneers.

And I was like, like, Brian with veneers.

Brian with veneers and dreads.

I moved.

I switched Dennis.

Yeah.

I switched Dennis because I was like, oh my God, this guy's going to try to do like plastic surgery on me.

But you would get upsold into getting veneers and stuff.

That's why I got away from it.

You know what I mean?

Now I'm just getting the implants for stuff that's missing.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, yeah, and it sucks and I hate it.

And I'm really mad at my, as I've said, I'm very mad at my

Dennis because he didn't give me any good pills.

No, man, listen,

we need to get you, Jesse, and Stefan in for the full Turkish pit stop.

We need you to come out looking like Love Island contestants.

Yeah, I want,

I need to be on one of those flights where it's all the guys coming back with the hair plugs.

They're not because you can't wear hats for like six months or something, or however long it is.

I wouldn't even need a hat ever again.

Well,

I think you would want to have a hat covering it up for the first little while when it looks like

your head is

stabbed.

jabbed yeah oh i just really want hair plugs and the bbl let's just throw in a bbl there too might as well honestly yeah i would do anything for hair i didn't have hair when i was supposed to have hair you know what i mean when i was a teen i shaved my head

and now i can't cut back on can i say something though i think like i haven't this is my first time meeting you i think and i mean this in a complimentary fashion i think you've got a bald soul That's your soul.

I think your soul is bald.

It's an honest soul.

It's there.

You got a good looking head.

That's important to be bald.

You're comfortable with it.

You got a good cranial structure, right?

You don't have an ugly, lumpy head.

If I thought I looked bad bald, I would do something.

Because I wanted hair so bad.

When in 1995, when I got way into corn and stuff like that, I was like, I got to grow dreadlocks.

I got to get these fucking.

So this has been a long-term goal for you.

Yeah.

I want hair.

I want to do things with hair everybody else got to do things with their hair i didn't i just shaved it except for that period where i had the bangs hanging down the front and the rest of it was shaved i love that yeah i mean that would be so funny for you to go get hair plugs like just in the front there

and then and then get like the rest of your hair like removed yeah

you're just forced to have like that fringe i mean laser surgery to get rid of the hair on top of my hair the fire starter give me the prodigy

here's here's a professor asking an interesting question using ai to write comments am i terrible i fully expect yes yes it's not good you should

all of these questions are just like the answer is yes immediately yes don't do this stuff don't use ai i fully expect to be savaged for this but i have started to use an ai i have trained with my syllabus and assignments to write formative feedback i read each assignment as usual formulate what would be my feedback grade it myself, and then ask AI to write the feedback.

I redact students' names so that the AI never has access to their info.

Lie.

That seems like somebody who

all of the college student shit, like all of their shit is AI as well, right?

Like

I was talking to my partner's cousin who's like, she's like 21 or 22 and has just graduated.

And she's like, yeah, we all just use AI for basically fucking everything.

So like, this is the point where like, if the, if the fucking professors are using it as well, it's like when people would set up a prank call where like they would get like one dominoes to call another dominoes, right?

And it just, it's just this like loop and it's like, no one's learning anything.

No, no, no, no.

Yeah.

My daughter talks about chat GPT all the time.

Oh, I put it in chat GPT.

And it's like, we shouldn't do that, but

what are you going to do?

They're not going to listen to you, you know?

So what's what's the are people telling this professor that's a bad idea?

Well, he goes, I re

first the professor lies and goes, I redact students' names so that the AI never has access to their info.

I'm extremely overnice.

And the AI is less kindly.

My students respect me more.

Secretly, I don't think I'm a monster.

I tell it.

This paper is on target with X, Y, and Z.

It is poorly organized and lacks logic.

Please write comments that are firm, clear, and yet have some grace.

It is better at it than I am.

I hate myself now on some level, but also, is that bad?

I mean, if it's all, it's all bad.

You should quit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You shouldn't be a teacher.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is like, honestly, man, this is like the surgeon walking in and saying, yeah, you know, like, I just let the robot do all the cutting.

That's it.

I just, I just let the robot do the cutting.

And that is the job is to be able to write the comments on the essays.

And if you're reading the essays, then fucking Christ, dude.

You're already doing the hard part.

This guy goes, do what I wish my students would do.

And instead of using AI AI to do your writing, ask it for tips on how to hit the tone you're trying to and learn it yourself.

Don't ask it for tips.

Don't ask it shit.

Don't do that.

Block it.

Throw your computer in a lake.

There was also all of the boil down to like, can this AI give me like a personality basically?

No.

Yeah.

That is what I know.

And it is, it really is fucked up.

that like professors are asking AI to give them a personality.

Like that is where it's like, yeah, of course, like students are using AI.

Students will use anything they possibly can.

You know what I mean?

And especially because as I, as I was reading stuff

about this, like throughout the rest of the thread and stuff, it's like, there isn't really, the secret is there isn't really a program that can detect AI.

Like they, the teachers know

that there's not a program that can reliably catch AI.

And then I even read one teacher saying that like one of her students

is well liked by all the other teachers in the area, but every time she feeds that student stuff into the AI detector, it says they're using AI.

But it doesn't happen in any other courses or something like that.

And she thinks that maybe he's not using AI, but he writes in a style that might be perceived as AI.

You know what I mean?

So it's just, there's nothing.

You're writing in a style that might be perceived as AI.

That's the problem.

That's probably bad.

I could get on this treadmill and I could run a 10-minute mile.

I'm being real generous.

I could get on a treadmill and run a 10-minute mile.

Or I could get NFL Hall of Famer Julio Jones to get on this treadmill for me and run a six-minute mile.

We're not even talking about the same task.

I could be like, well, it was done.

Look, that's my time.

Okay, cool.

I'm glad to see that your brain is entirely broken there it's also so crazy because like when i went to college i was like not learning anything the old-fashioned way you know

by like by like not going to class or getting high or you know whatever and like there's they're like going it's just like

what is the point it's almost weird and kind of nerve-wracking to me that the students that are trying are also doing this now.

You know what I mean?

Because you expect it from the fuck-ups.

The fuck-ups are going to do it no matter what.

And there's always going to be a percentage of fuck-ups at college, at high school, like everywhere.

I know because I am one of them.

But like, this to me sounds like people who aren't fuck-ups are also using this.

I think they're even doing it.

Yeah, they'll like at least write their essay, but they'll still plug it into AI to be like, can you kind of like polish this for me?

Which is like, that's still cheating.

Like you can't do that.

Well, let's take a look here

at some sports stuff.

This guy,

older gentleman,

talking about sports and college basketball.

It goes, court storming, yes or no?

I love a court storming.

The SEC is very strict on finding schools that do this.

The B1G does not, that's the big 10, right?

Am I stupid?

Does not assess such a fine in either either football or basketball.

What are people's opinions?

I'm a Michigan fan, and out of every storming I've ever seen, almost always we are the losing team that gets stormed in both football and basketball.

We're usually the team that gets upset, but I think it should be allowed.

Even being on the losing side of court storms mostly, I think it motivates the team.

And there's nothing better than as a fan participating in a big upset, because if it's a one-point game, you being a fan may have helped.

Oh, okay.

Sorry.

I don't like it when people.

Hey, we help.

We're the fifth man.

I still think it's a way to be excited about your team's win.

I disagree strongly with the SEC rules that the court cannot be stormed without a fine.

If Vanderbilt beats Auburn, sorry, Tigers fan, this is no disrespect if you're number one.

If someone storms the court on you, be happy about it because you got stormed because you're the best.

If you lose, it's the best thing that's ever happened for the opponent.

Most Big Ten fans don't want this to go away, so I'm curious to hear legit thoughts on if real people actually want this element of the game.

And this is coming from a fan that has watched more storms against my team for over 20 years.

I don't think it should be eliminated.

Okay, so number one, this man has been what he's 20, he's at least 20, but he's at least 30, really.

Probably.

You can't remember.

And he is saying, Boy, do I love storming the court

after a big victory?

It's interesting because, like, as a Canadian, fucking nobody cares about college sports up here.

I would venture a guess that no one has ever stormed the court after a college sports game in Canada.

Because the only college sports that, I mean,

you'd just be walking onto the court.

It would just be, you'd just walk over to say hi.

Or a lot of the times it's hockey, so it's kind of like impossible to storm the court

because of the boards and the glass, but it's just like not a big thing up here.

And like, I remember finding out just how big college sports are in the U.S.

and just like my mind was blown.

It's like,

it's insane.

Before

we started this podcast, I was kind of reading through some Ohio State stuff.

And there's a tradition at Ohio State, the week of the Michigan game, where they jump in Mirror Lake, which is a really crappy little lake

that they drained recently so people would stop jumping in it like they don't want people jumping in because one guy did a head he died dove in and hit his head on the bottom and died and

okay go bucks and yes and it's freezing cold there it when they do it it's November so it's it's very cold outside when I remember I was doing stand-up open mics, not anything impressive.

A guy walked in soaking wet in his underwear when it was freezing cold outside.

and he asked us where a certain road was and we were like that is eight blocks that

and you will not make it alive

so he had to pay for an uber for the guy uh uh but uh yeah it was it was very it was this big thing and now they put a fence around it they had tried at first to ticket it

So they put a fence around it with a little door and they got tickets.

First come, first serve, you get your tickets, you get to jump into Mirror Lake.

Of course, the fence got knocked over because Ohio State fans are fucking psychotic.

They did it anyway.

So now they're just like, if you do it, you're expelled.

So the new thing.

Oh, so they went.

So they went completely the opposite direction.

Yeah,

they don't want people jumping in a lake when it's that cold outside.

So this old guy, really old guy who went to the college like in the 90s goes like this.

Why don't you guys go over and jump in a river?

They'll be glad to have you jumping in the lake after you've jumped into the river because that's even more dangerous.

And I was like, Jesus Christ, that is the worst advice I have because jumping in a river.

Well, the river is moving, the lake is like still water.

Yeah, and the river has poop in it.

I hate to tell people in Columbus, all these rivers have a bunch of poop in them.

They funnel the poop into those rivers in town.

That's how it works.

That's where sewage goes.

So, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like all these people giving us like really bad advice because back in their day, they did this thing that was extremely dangerous.

You know what I mean?

And like now they're like, well, we got to do it, which I'm fine with people doing it.

You know what I mean?

I'm not like a Darwin awards guy, but I am kind of like, you know, it's a tradition, let them do it.

So this guy goes, would like to see the players on the losing team get safely off the court before the storm commences.

After that, go nuts.

Now,

that's a pretty reasonable thing to say.

So have you, have you been in a court or field storming situation?

No.

Brian.

No.

I haven't been to a game, actually.

I have.

I've been in multiple.

Yeah.

And I will tell you one,

if someone is going to do this, you have to let not only the other team, but anybody on the team who wants to get the fuck out of there, you have to let them out.

Like if they wanted to do this and if you wanted to keep it, and it's very funny who does this and who doesn't do this, big 10 teams are like, oh, it's, it's an open field.

It's, it's, you know, just a sense of community.

Come on down.

And the SEC, it's the most like plantation mentality.

It's like, that's our field.

You stay the hell off it.

Like, yeah.

Yeah, it's like, that's property.

Property has more rights than people.

Like, that's very much like the mentality at Florida.

We'd never storm the field because there are dogs, cops with dogs, who are waiting for people who are going to try it.

It's the most like old South bullshit you've ever seen in your life.

But that said, they got to give like an escape period because I have been on the field when everyone just decided to do it.

And that real kind of primal panic that can set in in a crowd situation is active the minute it starts.

I was, and you're not getting out of there for a while.

When Michigan beat Ohio State for the first time in a long time, what, four years ago at this point?

Oh, we don't talk about that.

I am talking about it because because I was there.

Um,

when that happened, it was fine and everyone was very well-behaved, but it was close and it was real tight down there.

And there were moments when you had to say, I need a minute, I need to breathe, and remember that these people are not going to trample.

There will not be, but that's a possibility.

Like, it is nervy that that stadium is so big in a way that, like, flat, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's just it's it's a side, it doesn't look big to me anymore because i live a mile from it and i i drive by it all the time drop my daughter off of school she lives right by it uh uh so like it doesn't seem big but you don't realize you when you drive by it on the freeway during game day it's like that is a mass of people and it's over a hundred thousand people fit in that fucking stadium you know uh so this is really i'm so glad you said this because this next guy from the indiana hoosiers responded and said players have virtually never been hurt in court storming incidents.

Think of all the many thousands of court stormings that have occurred at the college level and then try to identify more than a couple of injuries that weren't fake.

Looking at you, Philipowski, the injury thing is a concern trolling from sore losers.

It's a waste of breath even talking about it.

Okay.

It seems like this guy's sort of painting with a broad brush here.

Like, I'm sure there's been a lot of court stormings that haven't even necessarily been like televised.

And

I'm sure there's been one or two injuries, right?

Listen, one of the biggest ones, and

it is, I think, on video, if I can find it.

Yes, it was Caitlin Clark.

So this is when Caitlin Clark,

this is when Caitlin Clark was,

you know, in

her bag at Iowa.

Yeah.

And you can see, and it is, by the way, if you want, I love this video because it has my favorite, like, it has my favorite news construction, which is, look at this idiot, right?

Like,

I have shared it in the private chat with you if you would like to watch the person who is not only doing something very stupid, is doing it in an egregious, flagrantly stupid way, which is, if you can follow along here, this is Caitlin Clark trying to leave the court, all right, after being upset at the University of Iowa.

And as she is leaving, not only does a fan collide with her, it is a fan who is shooting a selfie video of them running onto the court.

Oh, my God.

Like Homer Simpson ruining a sporting event.

Let's see.

Oh, yeah.

Here is what you didn't see.

Oh, my God.

At the end of the celebration, as fans were storming the court, that's Iowa's Caitlin Cliff.

Hey, really, fucked that lady up.

Good.

Oh, like running across, honestly, like like running across the field like a safety like trying to knock someone out on a crossing route that's what she was doing it is very funny for this guy to act like oh you know nobody ever gets hurt uh what's all the risk there's no risk this is concern trolling like if you live in a college sports town

you know that the other team and the other fans are not

it listen i honestly my brother one time was on campus campus shopping or something like that.

He wasn't even there.

And it was during a game.

They were playing San Diego and he was wearing a San Diego hat because he's like me.

He just fucking buys hats to look cool.

Doesn't, I don't even know what this team is.

It's the Bumblebees or something like that.

I have no clue.

But he was wearing this San Diego State hat.

They were playing Ohio State.

And he said people were fucking really aggressive with him.

This is before the game, too.

Yeah.

Before a game that Ohio State is probably going to win win by 15.

Well, you're almost certainly going to win.

Yeah.

I think that's one thing if it's like you're a big rival, but it's just like a small school that is going to get destroyed.

I once saw like the saddest, the saddest bit of trash talk I've ever seen in my life was a Purdue fan

at the Kentucky Derby.

So Kentucky Derby people, I think, just show up in sports gear, just like yay sports.

Like, what am I supposed to wear?

Well, what you're supposed to wear is like a cartoon pimp suit.

you're supposed to show up and you're supposed to look like 1920s most daring brothel manager and but if you don't have that i guess what people from that area like the kentuckian kentuckiana area do is they show up in sports gear and this guy from purdue shows up and it was some year when i think purdue had gone like one and 11 or 2 and 10 like they were dog shit and indiana had gone like two and 10 or 1 and 11.

And it just so happened that Indiana had beaten Purdue barely.

I'm sure it was a game with like 23 turnovers and the score was something like nine to plaid, like just like scoring that you didn't even think was possible.

Anyway, I'm walking out of the derby and this Purdue fan is walking alone, not bothering anybody.

And these three dudes in Indiana show up like running and they're like, yeah, eat a dick, Purdue sucks.

And I remember thinking, like, before I could stop myself from speaking, I was like, you guys want two games this year.

They were gone, right?

like they're already on another planet the purdue guy looks at me and he's like right

like i mean that what did i do i think stefan's saying he's never he does like i gotta tell you there is a garbage company in this like a literal garbage company that sells dumpsters yeah or rents out dumpsters and their logo is just a picture of an ohio state fan or ohio state team one of the guys trash talking a michigan guy he just tackled that's their logo it's their logo and it's a picture.

It's not like a drawing or anything.

It's just like the Michigan fans laying on the ground, the Ohio State fans up above them, like talk, like clearly talking shit.

And that's their logo for the company.

Also, every single M in this city has tape over it.

Some of it all year, but right before the game, students go all over downtown and put tape.

They tape X's over every single one of them.

Any sign that has an M.

Any sign with an M, any M anywhere.

It is like psychotic here.

Let me

get the depths darker and scarier than they were before on how deep this rivalry goes, Stefan.

We do a fundraiser every year, and that fundraiser is team-based.

So we ask people to donate in the terms of a score or an important number for their team vis-à-vis a rival.

So we had a lot of 1310 donations this year from Michigan because that was the score of Michigan's victory over Ohio State at Columbus this year.

So we got a lot lot of 1310s, got a lot of $131, right?

There's a lot of themed donations.

We have one mega donor who is a Michigan fan and saw that Ohio State, who, by the way,

much respect, did really well this year.

We get a ton of great Buckeye fans who donate.

It's awesome.

And they were in like fourth or fifth place.

Michigan was in first.

And at the end of one of the days, She emailed and said, hmm.

All right, I'm going to donate to some other schools, but you guys are just going to have to go with it.

And we're like, okay, cool.

And we noticed the other schools in the top 10 started to leap up and Ohio State started to drop by very specific amounts.

And I was like, is she doing what I think she was doing what I thought she was doing, which is donating just enough to knock Ohio State down one peg at a time?

So that they, at the end of the day, they fell from like fifth to 11th through no fault of their own because one person, one person decided not today.

Oh my God.

I love that.

Yeah, I mean, I'm a fan of the Vancouver Canucks, who are like a notoriously bad team.

And so I always feel weird when I see Canucks fans like trash talking anyone else because it's just kind of like,

we just don't have,

we don't have the right to do that.

I know, I love that.

I love garbage talk.

Like, we're down here.

You live with us.

And that's the problem with college football specifically is all the teams are undefeated.

Yeah.

I mean, all the top teams are undefeated anyway.

So it's like, you don't even have like real crap.

Like, if you're a crappy team that, like, if you lose two games in a year, I'm sure the attendance goes way down.

Well, let's take a look at one more thing before we get out of here.

This is a thing that exists where I'm from and where many, many people are from.

This is about college football.

This is from R slash CFB.

And this guy goes, What do students slash alumni think of non-students slash alumni fans?

I didn't attend attend UGA, but my family did, and my sister's a current student.

I was talking to my sister the other day and asked her what she thought of fans like me.

She called me an idiot and said that fans like us are cool and all.

But then she said something that hit me like a ton of bricks.

Just remember, there's a difference between being a dog and being a dog fan.

I'm the former and you're the latter.

That stung.

So is there a distinction between the students slash alumni fans and the fans that did not go there?

I want to say this.

In In Ohio,

the fans that did not go to the school are about a thousand times more psychotic than the fans that go to school.

And they presumably outnumber them by a lot, right?

Yeah.

Yes.

By a lot.

And you have to understand, like, part of college sports is that a lot of these teams ended up being,

they predate professional sports.

So they were the professional sports

franchise for this area and in some ways still are depending on where they are.

Ohio is just crazily over-indexed on football.

Like there's no, you can't saturate the market there, right?

Like you could have the Browns and you can have the Bengals and you can have Ohio State.

You could probably put a third team in the, like they would be totally fine.

Yeah.

But yeah, yeah, like your local fans, I used to be pretty dogmatic about this, but now I'm just like, I don't know.

Like, if you show up, that's cool.

I'm actually the sucker who spent four years to earn fandom, whereas you were just like, oh, it's cool, I'm gonna be a fan.

That's way smarter.

Yeah, I mean, it is like you're right about that, too.

There isn't a local Columbus team, and I'm not, I don't,

I mean, I don't know what people in Cleveland and Cincinnati think about Ohio State.

You know what I mean?

Like, I'm sure some people like them, but it's not as big as it is here.

This guy goes, no offense, but your sister's a bitch for saying that.

how many how many upvotes did that get 37.

uh if you can cheer on your team without being an asshole and you're a and you don't desert your team during hard times and you're a dog uh and then this guy goes uh

like every single notre dame fan so this is also insanely true because the only team with with that comes again there's two teams everybody knows i was a michigan fan when i was a kid because

i was psychotic.

I'm just, I'm an antisocial person.

You know what I mean?

I have antisocial tendencies.

I'm insane.

This guy goes, this guy goes,

your sister's a bitch for saying that.

That's like saying you're not an American because you didn't vote.

Well,

you know,

I might say that too.

And then I love this guy.

He goes, my reply was pretty good, though.

I love a guy like this.

Oh, well, listen to what I said back to her.

Okay.

My reply was pretty good, though.

Told her I'll always be a veteran and she'll always be a supporter.

Okay.

Cool.

Right.

Well, listen, a lot of dudes, a lot of dudes in comment threads who are just got something to prove to no one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I love the idea.

My feelings to prove to no one.

I got into it with my, because that's a, that's a theme so many times on this show is a guy that got into it with somebody in his life

and didn't know what to say.

That's like, that's like the theme, I feel like,

of, of the entire show, really.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can't remember.

There was a

show we did recently where a guy had a roommate that he hated

and the roommate was eating all of his food all the time.

And he went to Reddit and he was like, my roommate's eating all my fucking food all the time.

And

all the suggestions were stuff like, put put a refrigerator in your room.

Hey, that's a reasonable, reasonable suggestion.

You can get one of those for like 70 bucks.

Put a fucking refrigerator in your room.

And then a few guys were like, what you should do is put a lockbox in the refrigerator.

And then when he sees you go to the refrigerator, you open your lockbox and you fucking eat it in front of him.

And he can't do shit about it.

And it was just like,

how about you just talk to the fucking guy?

You know what I mean?

This guy goes, not everybody needs to go to their favorite school.

you go where you're needed.

My profession didn't have the degree I needed, so I went elsewhere.

That being said, if you don't have any ties whatever to your favorite team and base your fashion sense on it, I'm not wearing X color because it's a rival team colors.

By the way, you know, you're in a room with a bad guy if he's wearing scarlet and gray.

And like that's the Ohio State color.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like in summer.

Yeah.

You see a guy in like the red t-shirt or in like what Chris calls the coach's t-shirt, the coach's shirt, where it's like the collared shirt that you can buy that has the logo of the team like in the corner.

And it makes you look like,

yeah, it makes you look like you're into coaching staff.

You know what I mean?

Like that kind of guy is wild.

And he goes, and you know, you're just dealing with an asshole.

He goes, name your kids after your team colors or coaches and carry a superiority complex around because your team is better than my team.

Then you come across as a moron.

I replies, he goes, agreed, you shouldn't pick the college you you go to because of their football team

okay i mean i did

yeah and it worked out for you right i mean you learned about gangs yeah yeah i did this guy goes i did but i had no idea what was going what i was going to major in but i think there's a special connection once you've been in the student section for four years especially compared to fans who have never gone to the games now

i've never been to a game I'm going to be honest with you, Stefan.

I never went to a game.

But you would have been able to when you were going to college right yeah but i would have been 36 in the student section oh okay yeah but you so you could pay to go now if you wanted to right uh yeah yeah my daughter had tickets all year last year but i'd have had to sit in student section right i remember you're telling me that did she did she end up selling those tickets no yeah nope

she went and she would go for two quarters and then she would come home and that was it i it really was like why'd you get sell the tickets you get like a lot of money for this thing this guy goes there is a difference as a fan, but not an alumnus.

There's nothing that binds one to the institution permanently.

As an alumnus, the university's name is on one's wall and resume for the rest of one's life.

Now, I don't know where my degree is.

I have no idea.

So it's not on my wall.

And I don't have a resume, Stephan.

For that reason, you have a resume.

You have like 15 years of podcasts.

That's your resume.

Yes, yes.

If I have to ever go get a real job, I can write 15 years of podcasting.

Just don't, please don't listen to the podcast

that I've done

because you won't let me get a friend hired because he might masturbate at the desk or whatever.

However, I've known enough actual alumni of other schools to know that the Walmart fan does not bear sole responsibility for the abuse that happens in a given school's name.

Also, alumni like to overlook the non-alumnus fan's contribution in terms of money from licensed products and extra attention gained for the school.

Interesting.

Okay.

Extra attention gained for the school is insane.

Oh.

Because they wore a t-shirt.

Like,

excuse me, I wore that Metallica t-shirt and now Metallica's really famous.

Duh.

I.E., I did that.

And finally.

This guy's from Ohio State.

I didn't like him because it says Ohio State Buckeyes slash Florida Gators fan.

That's not possible.

Exactly.

You can't be one.

You cannot be another thing if you're an Ohio State fan.

It just isn't like dumb.

Honestly, you can't be another thing if you're a Florida fan.

You certainly can't be an Ohio State fan.

It's just not.

Florida Gators was the one with Urban Meyer, right?

That's right.

Yeah, we hate them.

We hate them.

We did that first.

This guy goes, that really shouldn't be an issue.

Growing up in Florida and attending Ohio State, I've seen football in different areas of the country, and a lot of fan bases share something in common, passionate support of their home team.

There's nothing wrong with being a non-student alumni fan.

Without them, the atmosphere for college football would not be the same.

I would argue that it might be a little less crazy without the, you know, non-alumnus fans being insane.

To say that you have to be a student or alumnus of the institution that you support would mean that families can't take their kids to games because they have never attended.

So, this guy's going to go

way off off the reservation here.

He goes,

and sometimes it doesn't work out where you can go to your favorite team school.

That shouldn't mean that you can no longer be a fan of the football team.

There is the argument that non-student alumni fans don't care as much about representing their school well.

But to me, the issue is not with the fact that those fans never went to school there, but the fact that they can be obnoxious.

So support your team.

Be proud of the players that perform well, and especially those that represent the school well and hate the school's rivals, so long as you can show respect for your rivals' fans and individual players and coaches, and as long as you aren't discourteous to other fans of other schools while supporting UGA, there's no reason why you can't call yourself a dog.

So

that guy's annoying.

I hate it.

I love it.

I read that and I hated that man more than any of that.

Discourteous is a start.

Yes, yes.

So that is college, guys.

Spencer, thank you for for doing this.

I saw the, uh, uh, I watched the charity bowl.

And when I decided to do college guys, there was only one person I wanted to have on.

And

I got to get you on a bonus because we, I didn't do as much football stuff because we've done college football, guys.

But I got to get you on a bonus.

We'll do a bunch of foot.

We'll do a bunch of college football stuff.

And Stefan's here.

Whatever, dude.

He's he's co-hosting today.

I don't know.

Recording an 8 a.m.

podcast episode.

That is my fault.

No, no, no, no.

I mean, we used to do Go Off Kings at 8 a.m.

I had to go to a wellness exam.

And I'm nervous as fuck right now.

I'm shaking.

You're going to do fine, Brian.

They're going to tell me I'm dying.

I'm about to find out I'm dying, everybody.

So that's going to be great.

Spencer, do you have anything you want to plug?

Yeah, the Channel 6 newsletter.

Two things a week for $10 a month.

My partner Holly Anderson and I put it out, and we cover football as well as a thousand other non-football things.

But guaranteed content piped directly into your inbox.

That would be the Channel 6 newsletter.

Also appear on the Shutdown Fullcast, the only college football podcast on the internet.

And EDSBS.

I've been following him for so long.

I don't, I followed you on X, the everything website where I do all my banking and on Blue Sky.

So

Stefan is, you know, on the go-off kings.

Yeah, and I'm still doing block party on the Patreon, so check that out.

Sometimes less than I'm, I know, I just got a colin fucking text trying to make me work.

Um,

all right, he does that, he loves that.

Bye, everyone.

This guy fucking loves to make me work.