Guys: Episode 113 - Coffee Guys with Mattie Lubchansky

Hey, welcome to guys, podcast pod guys.

My name is Brian, and I am here.

I'm on coffee.

I'm on the drug coffee, they might say.

Some people call coffee a drug.

I did just have coffee.

I actually spent the time before this podcast prepping my cold brew.

I'm my new cold brew maker.

Hmm.

I know nothing about it.

I mean, I've heard of this stuff, obviously.

You've heard of coffee?

Yeah, I mean, cold brew is what I mean.

It's a kind of bean, I think, right?

Yeah, but I am, as I've probably

mentioned,

I don't know how much I've mentioned.

I don't drink coffee at all.

I'm not, I'm a non-coffee drinker, don't need it, have never had a need for it.

So I don't understand this

sort of life at all.

Brian,

you're making up what coffee was?

Yeah,

Chris is googling coffee before we started recording.

Seattle.

Okay.

I do drink coffee a couple times a day, actually.

I love it.

It just gets me going.

You shouldn't even talk to me until I've had it.

Yeah, I've heard that before.

Now, this is interesting.

This is our first time recording just a peek behind the curtain for about a month or so.

And Brian, you didn't insult me off the top.

You're sitting there staring now like you're thinking of an insult for me?

And with me is my co-host, Chris James, a real bitch.

No, that's not that.

You forgot the sort of thing.

It's supposed to be on the theme of what we're talking about.

I think you've, and also, you, you also haven't introduced the guest either.

Oh, and with us is our guest, second time, Maddie Lubchansky.

Maddie,

did I say her last name right?

You got it right.

It's phonetic.

Should have been a real piece of shit.

I should have asked.

You know what?

It's fine.

You got it in one, and I'm really proud of you, and I'm happy to be here.

And Batty,

do you drink

coffee?

You held up a mug, but that could have been, it could be water in there.

No, I got my

water is in this cup.

Okay.

Water goes in a clear cup.

We all know this.

But I got my big mug here, and that's full of, well, not anymore, but it was full of coffee.

I drink about two cups a day.

So you can brag.

Water goes in a clear cup, so you can brag about drinking it.

You know what I mean?

Because that's like a seltzer, but yeah.

It's a self-defense.

Water is the most virtuous drink

is the way I feel.

Like, oh, look at me.

I'm drinking water.

I've been bragging about it lately because I've been bringing a water bottle in to record instead of the 7-ups.

Well, what I do is, I was just going to say, what I like to do is I'll get a clear water bottle and I'll put some flat 7-up in there, and everybody thinks I'm healthy as hell.

You know, I love 7-Up

or cherry 7-ups, zero sugar, baby.

Sorry.

Have you tried the...

So my wife is a food writer, and so often we will get just limited edition strange foods just sent to our, will appear in our home, and

I'll be tempted to try them.

Have you tried the 7-Up Shirley Temple limited edition?

Did not like that drink.

What?

Oh, I thought it was so good.

I did not like it.

I'm a cherry.

So crazy to me that

you asking that question, Maddie, to me was like, well, this is insane.

There's no way that he's tried that.

And that he somehow had, which was shocking to me.

And

he's a connoisseur.

Yeah,

you disagree, though.

You, Brian, what was your issue with it?

If you had to describe it sort of in a wine kind of way, like what were the notes and everything on it that you didn't like?

Honestly, it has like a weird pomegranate note to it that I didn't like, which famously,

I'm a big pomegranate guy, but I didn't like it in there.

I like the cherry.

I'm addicted to the cherry seven up zero sugar.

That's what I drink.

That's all I, that's, I don't want anything else.

I mean, sometimes, like, I guess when I go out to eat, I'll get a Diet Coke.

Well, that's not exactly true, Brian, because I went out to eat with you a couple of times in Portland.

So, can you actually, I think you've mentioned it before, but you don't get one Diet Coke.

I get two Diet Coke.

You order two off the bat.

He orders two right off the bat before they've even got a chance.

Before he has a chance to drink the first one, he just knows he wants two.

It generally goes on strategy.

It generally goes like this.

Can I have another Diet Coke?

And then my wife goes, he likes to have two.

Yes.

I did get to see that as well.

In fact,

we were out at a nice,

I mean, it was a pizza place, but it was nice.

It was like a nice Italian pizza place or whatever.

And I think he only ordered one or maybe didn't make it clear enough.

And then Katie actually had to sort of step in and take the server aside and say,

you know, can he grab another one?

And you can tell she knows that it's bizarre or whatever or that it's like not normal.

And she's kind of like, I know, but he likes to have two, you know?

It is kind of sweet.

It's kind of sweet.

It's kind of sad.

It's kind of sweet, though, definitely.

One of the funny things about me is that basically my favorite restaurant, the one I say, this is what I want to go to in Columbus all the time, is not necessarily that good.

You know what I mean?

But it has these re you go, you walk into this place,

you grab a cup, you go to the fountain, you don't even have to ask for it, nothing.

You just grab a huge cup and you go to the fountain.

This is

because you have to ask the Burger King people for the cup.

You don't even have to ask for the cup.

You just walk in, you grab this huge cup, you put it, and you get your diet, Dr.

Pepper, with fan diet Dr.

Pepper there.

You're telling me the fast food restaurants aren't fast for you with the boss.

I just want to say,

I try to live live my life in a way that is a little more ungovernable.

And you can actually just take the cup at the McDonald's and like it's not

strictly allowed, but you can do it.

It's like a thing you can do.

You could easily go in there and you go in there and then you say, what are you talking about?

This is water, you know?

But it's seven up.

We all know it's seven up.

I'm pretty tall.

I got a nice reach.

I could just get over the counter and snag one of those bad boys.

How tall?

Sorry.

I'm kind of tall too.

So now I want to have a tall showdown, Maddie.

So I'm currently six foot one.

Oh my God, yes.

Well, well, okay.

So

I was formerly six foot three, and I shrank in the last couple of years.

So what you're saying, because I'm six foot two, and I'm not joking.

So you're saying you were taller than me.

In the last couple of years, you have actually fallen behind me in the middle of the time.

Injectable estrogen have shrunk me two inches.

I'm taller than Chris now.

Yeah, that's not true.

And there's photographic evidence.

Photographic evidence of it.

In fact, the angle of the photograph that we took together for the Instagram makes it look like I'm so much taller than you.

It's not actually like Brian's like 5'10 or something, but it makes it look like...

Nope, 5'11.

Yeah, I even believe that.

He's not, he's definitely, you know, but in the photo, I look like I'm about six to seven inches taller than him, which I do love, as you can tell.

You know, it's a real pain in the ass thing that I found out recently, which was getting a new driver's license and having them change your height on the driver's license.

They're really like,

you can't, like, how is that possible?

And I'm like, Well, I shrank, and they're like, That doesn't make any sense.

And I'm like, Oh, listen, buddy, I

shrank,

yeah.

That

so could you shrink more?

I have no fucking clue.

I asked a friend of mine who like works at the gay hospital, and uh,

and she was like, Yeah, it happens sometimes.

I don't know.

The problem, the problem, yeah, no one really has done a lot of research on this stuff.

What if you're a basketball player?

So

lose some height, yeah.

So, anyway, um,

uh, one thing I did, i want to say this because you brought up burger king it blew my mind at the airport

at the airport in portland yeah

or wait salt lake city one of the airports right yeah this guy's always by the way he's just always on vacation i am not always on vacation which airport was i at he's like he's not a business guy just to be clear he's like what he shouldn't be at the airport all the time so i'm at the airport and there's a sign on the fountain at the burger king that's like hey refills aren't free anymore yeah yeah anymore

Just say they aren't free.

You know what I'm saying?

Don't let people know that they form, like, they used to be free.

That's mean.

Well, that's because people expect it, and the fountain's out where we can get to it.

You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah, it's like a fountain, just to be clear.

It's like a fountain like you'd imagine outside of a hotel, like one of those fountains, but it has pop in it.

Yeah, I wish.

Me and all the other Oceans 11 guys outside the big Pepsi fountain.

Let's go to r/slash slash coffee.

Over Twisted says, New shop does not do decaf espresso.

Is that weird?

I don't know.

You guys would have to tell me.

Is that weird?

I actually don't.

Here's the thing.

I could have done some research before I came on the show.

No, we don't like that, by the way.

Yeah, okay, great.

Wonderful.

Because I can't read.

But

me neither.

Sorry, I apologize, but that's a, I can't read either.

It's with the first guest that's been on that also can't read.

Yeah, that's why I'm a cartoonist because I can't read.

But

what, how do they make decaf?

Well, here's here's the thing about the first of all, espresso, decaf espresso seems so weird to me.

I guess if you're making a latte,

you want to decaf latte.

Is an espresso just like a tiny little, like a shot?

It's a shot, yeah.

It's a shot thing.

It's sort of the whole idea behind it is: I need a quick little shot of caffeine without drinking a coffee.

So is that why you're saying it's weird, Brian?

Yeah, and I want to say this too.

The reason I did this for one first is because

one of the things I noticed when I was starting to get this episode going was like that I felt so bad for baristas

in a way that I don't, you know what I mean?

Like in a way where I'm like,

I don't know if there's another profession

that has more annoying people.

Yeah, because I mean, you think about being just a customer service person in general who's serving people food or dealing in that kind of service industry.

You're dealing with people, but yeah, you're dealing with these people.

First off,

they haven't had their coffee yet.

So

it's all these people who have...

No, I don't want to,

because I'm not a coffee person, so I don't want to be judgmental, but I think some people maybe they might use that as a crutch sometimes to be a little bit more mean to somebody in the morning and a little bit more disrespectful.

And then they'll say, Well, you know, I haven't had my darn coffee yet.

This is just how I am.

And they're on the front line dealing with those people at the height of their haven't had their coffee.

So, also,

the most particular people we've covered.

I saw two guys arguing about whether the water should be 100 degrees or 99 degrees.

Well, I can't have it too cold.

You know me, Brian.

When I'm drinking mine, it can't be too cold.

But I mean, 100 or 99, there's no

possible way there's a discernible difference.

Oh my god,

Matty, Matty, did you hear?

Did you hear what he said?

I actually went to engineering school, so I know about this kind of stuff.

There's actually a whole 100 hundredths of a degree between those two numbers.

Yeah.

And Brian, that's just so, that's actually really cute to hear you say that there's no difference between 100 and 99.

By the way, maybe there's a difference.

It is not discernible.

And the best comparison I could give you is, and I posted this online actually.

When I worked for the cable company,

this is when HDTV was rolling out.

And, you know, guys would go to Best Buy and they buy these monster cables for like $75.

Yeah, they'd always tell us to, I used to work at Best Buy.

They'd be got to upsell these monster cables.

Yeah.

Probably means they're really bad.

So they'd get them home, you know, a month or two down the line, they break.

They just don't work anymore.

And that's not all monster, but some people,

something happened right and so I would come in there and I would take the cable company HDMI cables which are like twelve dollars and I'd plug them in

and be like there it is it's fixed and the guy would be like it doesn't look as clear which is literally impossible it it is not possible for a digital signal to not look clear.

It's the it there's like one or two things.

It's not shielded.

It's been degraded.

I I can see.

I can see.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And, but they've just convinced themselves that

because

that tells me my fellow Best Buy salespeople did an awful good job selling those monster cables because they're just like, they would not even believe.

They're like the people who saw the ship people and they couldn't even see it.

You know, they had been convinced so that they're like, this is the best.

And then, yeah.

They'd be like, oh, it looks snowy.

And I'm like, digital signals don't look snowy.

Like, you're in a guy's living room.

you're like hey it's snowing outside dude it's December like that's so this person goes I assume they were about to tell me they were simply out of stock of decafs decaf espresso beans wouldn't be the first time but no they simply don't carry it anyone who wants a decaf latte cap or any other espresso based drink is out of luck why don't you just drink a glass of water you know what i mean come on yeah i don't i guess i don't understand but i guess maybe you don't want the caffeine and you've kind of fallen in love it same as non-alcoholic beer right?

Yeah, like a latte tastes nice.

They said they could make me a decaf pour over, but I can do that at home.

Oh, really?

Then do it.

And you can also, can't you do the other thing at home as well?

Can't you do a decaf fucking espresso at home as well?

I mean, do it all at home, man.

This machine is like massively expensive and like a huge piece of equipment you got to put in your home.

Okay, is it huge?

It's for $350.

I got the smaller one, you know, for my daughter.

How expensive can it be, though?

I mean, I'm not saying it can't be very expensive.

If you're spending

seven or eight dollars a day, then I think, you know, on an espresso, it could pay for itself pretty quickly.

But if you're saying, Maddie, that it's very difficult to make one at home, then I can understand.

There's a technique thing, like every level of it, from the grinding to the like packing it to pouring it, like there's all, there's like technique all over it, is my understanding.

So it's like you want an expert to do it,

but you could

buy glasses with that money.

You want them to do it right.

And that's all.

You just ask for them to do it right.

They're getting paid to do it, and you just want them to do it right because they are an expert.

And I'm putting air quotes in front of the

person.

First guy goes, that's probably easier than my first cafe's practice of selling decaf espresso, but having my manager shout out, it's disgusting, tastes like tire rubber and burnt hot dog across the room every time somebody asked for it.

Wow.

These guys remind me of how uh people would talk when they were like mad about the kind of computer you used back in the 90s yes well here this is the one this is the reason i read this this is what if you like this new cafe you could try politely explain and ask them to consider offering decaf espresso demand may not be high enough but they'll never know unless people make it clear so they're always like have a talk with the first of all powerless barista i would say unless they're the owner of the place they are powerless over whatever whatever they're selling.

Well, you want to set up a meeting with them, probably.

You know, you'll set up some sort of a meeting in a boardroom setting, and you want to have a PowerPoint presentation just to sort of explain the benefits of a decaf espresso.

The local barista is over to talk about.

Yeah.

How about we check in with user Caramel Ice Latte on our coffee, and they're asking a question.

Infusing tobacco into coffee?

So I'm curious if anyone's ever tried using a cocktail smoker to smoke a cigar into coffee.

That's so weird.

Like, I'm dubious on a cocktail smoker, first of all.

What is a cocktail smoker?

I don't even know what that is.

It's a thing that goes over a cocktail that you can, like, burn hickory.

Oh, like when you get, yeah, when you go to a very pretentious place and they put like Palo Santo in the margarita.

Okay.

Yeah, and you're, I, you know, I guess you drink the smoke first because I can't, liquid taking on a a smoke flavor seems impossible to me personally.

Like from smoke.

Yeah, but from smoke.

You know what I mean?

It goes, so I'm curious if anyone's ever tried using a cocktail smoker to smoke a cigar into coffee.

I have a few cigars left over from a wedding that got broken and aren't smokable anymore.

I'm wondering if, in theory, I could put a tiny amount into a cocktail or whiskey smoker with some wood chips.

I'm thinking of pairing it with some espresso shots and a vanilla cream, but I'm wondering if it's any worse for you than just smoking one if it's just a small amount.

So this guy has a great idea to infuse tobacco.

It seems strange to me that he's concerned at all about the health risks of it because it doesn't seem to me like it's something that a healthy person would even consider at all.

Yeah, bringing this to my doctor,

the thing that I feel a fundamental disconnect here from this kind of person for a lot of reasons, but I think the main one for me is if I have an idea for like a weird lunch lunch or a weird drink, I just go fucking do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't like go to Reddit and be like, I'm thinking about making a sandwich today.

Yeah, just try it.

That's literally the only way you're going to know.

You know, how are

people?

I guess people could if you're concerned with the dangers of it, perhaps.

Like the last place I'd ask.

Well,

yeah, if you're concerned with like, if it could be harmful, then you want to go to Reddit and ask the experts.

Is there a way to cross-post to our coffee and our cigars at the same time?

They should.

They should.

Regulus says, yep, but try to smoke the vanilla cream or even better, if you're preparing the vanilla cream yourself from scratch, you can infuse it in.

The smokiness will work well with the cream and vanilla.

Then probably try to get a fruity or berry or sweet caramely profile coffee.

It sounds counterintuitive than using a smoky or earthy profile coffee like something from Indonesia or Myanmar.

Oh, I'm glad you're buying coffee from Myanmar.

That's really great.

But you have better success of creating new flavors with the first option.

Then if you have an ISI whipper, you can use that to whip.

Of course I've got an ISI whipper.

You can use that to whip the smoky cream and use it to top your espresso like a...

Smoke the cream whip?

I've just gone off that cream.

Yeah, whip that smoky cream, boy.

That is a real...

That's a...

This doesn't sound like drinking a thing anymore.

No, it doesn't.

It gets so caught into some crazy stuff.

Like, most of the time you're doing this is the preparation.

Like, the drinking is almost secondary to everything else.

Yeah, and it's like, it really does feel like people who have gotten, they've just gotten bored with drinking coffee or just sort of the whole concept of drinking in general, they've gotten bored with.

And they're like, what if we added like a different element to drinking?

Which is so odd to me because I I think drinking is fantastic like drinking liquid water or whatever I got no problems with it doesn't need anything no no notes this buzzkill goes tobacco needs to stop being ingested it has other uses but not for respiration or consumption then I wanted to know the other uses which weren't explained What are the other uses of tobacco?

I couldn't even think of one that maybe rope, but that's hemp.

And I'm only saying rope because I know hemp can be turned into rope.

Yeah, I got great news.

You can use it to make a paper pulp and part of a board.

You can use it as a filler and pillows.

Oh, my tobacco pillow would be great.

I'm going to get one of those.

It says here they can be used to make something called a cigarette as well.

That's what we love.

You don't know what one of those is.

Oh, gosh, you should try.

They are so good.

They actually do rule.

I used to do them a lot, but you can't even do them anymore, which is actually probably a good thing because

well, but this is one of the good things of woke, I feel like, if they did do it, because this is like, it was so good, but it was so bad for you in such an aggressive way.

So it was good that it's like, that you feel so stupid now doing it if you're, if you're smoking cigarettes out in public, I think is an overall good thing because otherwise we were all going to end up smoking if they didn't change things.

I mean, I smoked a little bit when I was in, what I said before was a bit.

I used to smoke a little bit when I was like in college.

But I think people don't remember how much as a person who is rapidly approaching middle age, I think people don't remember like how much there was like cigarettes fucking everywhere all the time.

Like everyone smelled like cigarettes

always, everywhere.

But that's why you had to smoke cigarettes because then you couldn't smell the other cigarettes.

It was like a thing where it's like, if you don't smoke, then you're smelling all of it.

And you're like, this is a hell world.

But for all us smokers, we're like, this is just the world.

Well, what I was, I was looking at casino reviews for the bonus show we're recording tomorrow because we like to read casino reviews because generally they're people saying that you know they lost money and that's a bad review

They had a bad time losing money and uh

I looked at an Indiana casino which still allows smoking

and 90% of the bad reviews are like you gotta cut out the smoking and it's like well the casino seems like a place where you can to me personally you're right but it's just like a smoking place but it's considered so bad now that's what I'm I'm saying.

Even an Indiana casino, they're just like, oh, come on, guys, this is a bit nasty, you know?

So I do feel like they're kind of running it out.

But

my mom lived in the Bahamas, and so

they smoked cigarettes there.

everywhere inside all the time and that was much past it like into my 20s or whatever and so it was always wild i came from this situation where i was like holy fuck this is really nasty because at that point i wasn't a smoker anymore and i was like this is like really gross how everything smells like stale cigarettes.

This next guy replies and goes, I love my cigars.

If you can name one cigar smoker that died young, I'll cash app you $100.

Sorry?

He loves his cigars.

Okay.

If you can name one cigar smoker that died young.

Yep.

100%

you could.

Frankly.

Maybe.

This guy asks a good question.

This guy asks a great question.

Out of curiosity, what cigar?

Just as in coffee, cigars have many different notes of flavor.

And now the OP comes back to explain the cigar.

So, Backwoods Honey Berry?

No, no, no, no.

No,

no,

no.

Brian.

No.

You're joking, right?

You're joking.

I swear he goes, so

Backwoods Honey Berry.

So not the most fancy brand, but I spent a decent chunk of money on them to buy tons for a wedding.

Okay, so you spent a lot of money because you bought it in bulk.

So so he's like listen i spent a good thousand bucks on buying 900 of these things so i can't just throw one of them away

okay it's been a while since i was like i used to i used to work as a teenager in like the sort of deli that sold backwoods um

and it's been a long time do they do they count as cigars

cigarellos like i like they are their own thing

yeah yeah they're they are i guess they are technically considered little cigars like i would not if i had if i was smoking a backwoods and I saw a guy next to me like smoking like a fine Mechanudo, I would not be like, ah, we both enjoy our cigars, huh?

Showing up to the cigar shop, like sitting there amongst all these old guys.

Let's take a look at another question.

A guy comes in and asks and pisses the entire room off.

Hey.

Why are espresso machines and coffee grinders so expensive?

First, let me explain my question, please.

So obviously he's asked this before.

And he's obviously gotten a really bad response before.

He's like, before you all absolutely jump on me here, let me just say.

Pouring water under pressure and grinding seem to be simple operations.

Why then are the devices for it so expensive?

I've stumbled upon a post from R slash Coffee where a commentator, I don't know why he said commentator, but he said commentator, recommended a $300 espresso machine and a $400 coffee grinder as low-budget options.

That see, okay, listen.

Don't ask them.

They're the worst people possible to ask.

I don't know who to ask,

but not guys

that do coffee this way.

Not people who are like, we need to fucking put smoke pebbles into our, you know, yeah, you just wanted to ask normal people.

I don't know who to ask, right?

But I don't think these people are going to give you the $400 $400 grinder is crazy.

It is crazy.

Beside that, could you please recommend some other options from the same price category?

Thanks for your replies.

I've just been stomping them with my feet in a way.

I love the idea that he's like, I mean, pouring water under pressure and grinding seem to be simple operations.

I love that line where he's just like, it seems like what you're doing is some easy bullshit.

So I don't know.

This guy goes, Is $700 expensive?

Um, yeah, that sounds like

that sounds like a yeah, that sounds like a classic rich guy's like, What does Brad go for?

What, three, four hundred dollars?

Like, he just has no guns there.

Dude, $700, is that considered a lot of money?

That guy's over from our cigars.

Yeah,

that is

$700 expensive.

I bet most people that go to coffee shops spend that in less than a few months, like anything.

The initial investment is a lot.

Listen, that's my point.

That was my point.

That was my I was going to say, because you're not.

So what?

I'm going to quit drinking lattes for a few months so I can get my espresso machine.

That's true.

It depends on your financial situation.

Because it depends.

If you're going paycheck to paycheck or whatever in a situation, you can't, but you won't have the free money until you stop.

And then that means you have to go two months or so.

Who knows how long?

You probably won't want to get back on it.

Yeah, at that point, maybe you actually won't even want them anymore.

And then you'll use that money towards like your education or something.

Like, yeah.

that sucks.

He goes, the initial investment's a lot.

Over time, it pays for itself.

In this case, $700 pays for itself very fast.

If it doesn't, I'd wonder why you're looking at an espresso maker at all.

Not that fast.

It would be three months if you're drinking one every single day.

But I guess people are drinking more than one a day, right?

They're going.

I was spending a crazy amount on lattes.

What is that, Brian?

I mean, but we're talking, you know,

we're talking about people who are not actively and aggressively trying to throw all of their money away every single day.

So, yeah, I believe you spent a lot of money on that.

I've got my latte is $11

now at Starbucks.

Wow.

Hey, congratulations on that.

Yeah, I forgot to give you congratulations for that.

That's crazy.

That's more expensive than the actual fancy coffee shop in New York City that I go to.

That's true.

That is very true.

And I keep adding stuff.

He had a $22 smoothie from Smoothie.

Shut up.

Oh, man.

That's how much they cost.

No, they don't.

People sent me messages after that, Brian, being like, they actually were trying to figure out how to even make a $22 smoothie.

And it's like, it is difficult to do.

You have to, it's basically the most expensive thing you can get at Smoothie Game.

That's not true.

If y'all think a $700 home setup is expensive, you'd have a heart attack pricing out legit commercial setups.

Well, no, but that's not what they're doing.

That's not what they're doing.

That's not a good point at all.

If you think a sedan is expensive, wait till you look at the price of an 18-wheeler.

Until you have to get an entire thing.

What I was about to suggest is that I'm on a sort of a hustle grind set, and this guy says it's going to pay for itself in like a couple of weeks.

Because what I'm doing is I'm buying the nice machine for $700, but that's an investment in my future.

And what I start doing is I start charging.

My wife for lattes in the morning.

Yeah, because

she needs them.

Yeah, and then I'm also like, I live on the fifth floor, so I'm lowering lattes down on a rope like like Wantzler.

I'm shipping lattes with Uber Eats.

I'm like, sort of, I'm selling, you know, and then within a couple of days, I'm already actually, I'm in the black again.

That's true.

And you can get your $700 back if everybody that drinks something out of it is charged.

And then you can make more.

You could make more money potentially than the $700 by another machine, and then your business can start growing from there.

And that's what this unhelpful guy says.

Those espresso machines Starbucks uses is $60,000 each.

A good local.

I would imagine.

Yeah, I would imagine they're making so many of these things every single day.

Just like, regardless of the fact that they need to have a much more capable machine than you because they're making thousands of them a day.

But yeah, of course, they're also a business that has.

I was pricing out renovating my kitchen, and I saw it was way more expensive to buy a whole McDonald's.

A good local coffee shop will drop at least 20K on just an espresso machine.

And a lot of the higher-end ones put you well north of 30K.

And some really push out to 50K and up.

Your base level grinders are $2,000.

Oh, I hate this.

I hate this.

I hate him.

Because nobody asked any of this.

Nobody asked any of this.

This is just information that he is desperate to share.

He probably tells us to so many people.

He's got a shortcut on his keyboard to paste all this information.

Yeah, I mean, listen, a lot of, you're giving him a lot of credit to say he has a keyboard.

I'm picturing him 98 years old and he's looking at a construction site telling people who walk by.

Speaking it into his phone.

Your base level grinders are 2K and the better ones can be had for less than $5,000.

The brewers start it for $5,000 as well and only get more expensive.

Some of the really, really nice ones can't even be bought or used for under $10K.

A $700 home setup will honestly barely even scratch the surface of being decent.

My home espresso grinder sent me back $700 and the machine new would have been $3,500, but I got it used and refurbished it for a few hundred dollars and about 30 hours of my time over a few weeks.

At least helped himself.

He refurbished it himself.

Yeah, he's just like,

why don't you get a $3,500 one and refurbish it yourself?

Or here's a bunch of fucking prices for industrial strength stuff.

Like, oh, thanks for the help, man.

Yeah, Paul says, what's your background to state that they are expensive?

My background is not having $700.

I would say my background is

living and having to support myself financially.

Well, the OP comes back and goes, I just meant the price is seemingly high for these simple operations.

Wrong way to state that.

Stop saying simple operations.

Stop calling them simple.

Listen, I don't even disagree with you, but you are poking the barriers.

Stop calling them simple operations there.

It's pretty stupid.

It should be cheaper, I think.

It's just a bean off of a tree.

Who gives a shit?

Yeah, well, you press a bean and fucking pour some water.

The person comes back and goes, have you considered the possibility that you don't have engineering expertise to evaluate if it's a simple or not and how much automating the process is complicated?

I actually kind of agree with that.

Yeah.

No, no, that's I think that's

some things are hard to make nice.

Yeah, some things that seem very, very simple are in fact not.

In fact, it takes somebody quite intelligent to design them.

Yeah.

Yeah, I would simply not ask the most annoying people on earth about this, but they are kind of right in this instance.

He goes, that's why I'm asking.

And then the guy comes back and goes, well, you stated it's simple.

It's not.

Having reliable and steady temperature and pressure is challenging and therefore expensive.

Also, the production volume is not that high to scale as pods machine do.

Yeah.

There are many shortcuts, though, like pressured baskets or manual devices, all with a different trade-off.

Okay, so we've got a legitimate expert here who's just popped in this person sounds like a full as a full-on expert to me then this next guy goes right but what's your background for saying the price is high or that the operation is simple another question gets a reply bruh you don't answer a question with a question clearly they don't know and they don't have an in-depth background on a topic that's why they're on the internet asking a question and looking for clarity well stop doing that what is it with reddit did

reddit is the own reddit i guess quora is the other site but there's two websites that like people actually think you can go get valuable information from and you absolutely can't everybody on reddit's a psycho everybody can i tell you i actually go to i just realized i go to reddit sometimes for information on stuff but it's about like Like if it's like a product thing or like something to do with like a technical thing on my computer, I will look sometimes for like a Reddit thread where I'll like read through it and look for information.

And also I will go to Reddit for movie advice.

I just realized that.

Like I weirdly will.

I will click on Reddit where I was just like, hey, I'm looking for like movies that fit this kind of, you know, these kind of, yeah.

Wait, you type that in?

On Reddit?

You asked me?

No, I type in.

I just type it into Google.

I just type it into Google.

And oftentimes Reddit will be one of the, there'll be a thread saying like, here's a list of my favorite like 1990s, this type of movie or whatever.

and I'll find a lot of good movies in there.

But that's just opinion stuff where I recognize it's someone's opinion.

I'm not asking for actual expert advice on stuff.

Well, here's a guy asking an insane question.

Clarified coffee?

James Hoffman has taste tested five to six different attempts at clear coffee, but they have all been meh.

There's a lot of bads in trying to clarify coffee, filtration, centrifuge, gelatin, charcoal, brewing methods, reintroduction of flavor through distillation.

The list goes on.

But no matter what you try, it's incredibly difficult to remove color without compromising the flavor or the caffeine levels.

As a result, clarified coffee attempts have been novelty items at best, and public roasts, no pun intended, at worst.

I've spent the past month trying every angle to no avail, but this must be a possible.

What am I missing here?

If Crystal Pepsi can do it, why can't we?

Well, they're two different things, but

one of them has a chemical that makes it brown.

yeah i think those one of them is using food coloring i believe or some sort of

stop making it brown they just the age they just removed they were like well we made a clear drink and put brown in it and then we just stopped putting brown in it yeah it's naturally clear it's naturally clear yeah a bleach in it i i was really curious about

what the clear coffee looked like and I did google it and it is

Brian can you can you google it and and show it to us

It is.

I'm going to show you.

I'm going to copy an image address here.

I think you can present, too.

Okay, I'm just going to pop it in the chat.

I want one or both of you to describe to me the color

of the clarifying coffee.

So, judging from your laughter, does it look like piss by any chance?

Oh, okay.

I didn't even see it.

Oh, yeah, it looks exactly like piss.

Clear coffee.

It looks exactly like piss.

You know, I think in a lot of ways my body kind of makes clear coffee out of regular coffee

So I guess my body is kind of the filtration system you're looking for potentially the clarifier if you could try to yeah recreate my

yeah this is this

it is a glass of piss you can't it looks pee it's gonna be the photo for the episode yeah it's it looks like actual there's nothing to separate it from looking like pee except for the little bubbles you get in your pee And it's not just this one photo I found.

Every single, I'm like, I have every single photo here is just side-by-side regular coffee and pee.

Why would you want it anyway?

And that's going to get asked a lot.

Well, yeah, that's a really good question.

But in this world we live in where there's so many people and everybody's so bored, I feel like everyone's always looking for a thing to care about and do.

So I think it's that, right?

There's no like practical application for clear coffee, right?

You could know to a finer degree if the sugar is dissolved.

Sure.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

So this first person goes, it seems like a colossal waste of time, money, and energy.

Even if it were achievable, so what?

No one's asking for it, and I doubt many would drink it.

Black is midnight on a moonless night, please.

Yeah, I'd like my coffee yellow, please.

Can I get the yellow coffee?

Can I get mine?

Oh, I'll just take mine yellow.

Just, yeah.

This guy goes, yeah, I can't even begin to think of a single benefit to all this ridiculous effort.

Maybe no teeth stains.

That's about it.

Okay.

And the next person goes, no teeth stains would be great.

And then this person goes, achievable with a bit of adherence to dental hygiene practices.

Yeah, but what if you don't want to brush your teeth and you want to keep drinking coffee, Brian?

Have you ever thought of that?

Some people don't want to brush their teeth ever.

It's such a good guy.

It's just like, brush your fucking teeth.

Brush your teeth and keep drinking coffee.

But that is one thing that I hadn't thought of where it would take away that, you know, the people who are drinking a lot of it.

Well, finally, we get an answer because this guy goes, yeah, what would this hypothetical product provide that a million energy drinks don't?

And the OP does come back to explain.

Okay.

Goes,

coffee market pretty crowded.

If you offer a clarified Kyoto Cold brew that tastes good, people are going to buy it.

It's as much a brand strategy as it is an experiment.

Hmm.

Brand strategy.

Hey, Maddie, you switched mics.

I did, didn't I?

Yeah, yeah, I just noticed it.

Don't worry about it.

Let me fix it.

I think it went to my

iPhone microphone for some reason.

It does that stuff.

I caught it right away.

Brian would have done the entire episode.

He wouldn't have even noticed it.

My Audacity, my local keeps automatically going down to 0% recording.

My

will.

And also, don't worry about it if we, you know, we have a good recording of yours locally from here to its backup, so it's okay.

Well, let's get to the stuff that people love.

Let's get to the stuff that people love.

Anderson Silva, not the real one, I don't think.

Oh, okay, because we just, yeah, we just did MMA guys with Felix.

So we, I think, I don't know if we talked about it.

Oh, maybe we did, where he broke his leg.

We might have talked about that.

But yeah, famous MMA fighter for anyone, Muay Thai fighter.

Yeah.

He asked.

How to tell girlfriend she's shit at making coffee.

I think you got to be direct with it, I guess, or just say, Hey, I'm not a fan of

your coffee, right?

I think that's what I would do: direct, assertive communication.

Well, the guy goes, Don't get me wrong, I'm super grateful when she wakes up before me to make coffee.

However, it's never great tasting, which is sad because I buy really nice beans.

Last batch tasted very stale.

I'm pretty sure it sat, got cold, and then she reheated on the stove.

I have no idea what she's doing wrong, and my beans are getting wasted.

Also, I work the night's shift, so she'll always be up before me.

The predicament is haunting me terribly.

We use a Chemex.

Anyone else in a similar situation?

Why can't you just tell her?

I guess, like,

it doesn't seem like something that would hurt her that much unless she's, you know, does she take a lot of pride in her coffee?

I don't think a lot of, like, people who just make coffee in the morning, they make it for you, thinking, like, hey, I'm not, can I make my own coffee?

I think I prefer to make it a specific way or whatever.

Yeah, toss it in a drip machine and drink it.

You know what I mean?

That's yeah, I mean, I think that's, I mean,

Maddie, you mentioned you have a wife.

How would you thank you?

How would you address this

with your wife?

Well, with my wife, who I love and have a good relationship with, I would simply talk to her, which is the solution to all relationship issues.

No, if I was, say, this weird freak on Reddit, what I might do is

lie and you say something like, I'm thinking about getting really good at brewing coffee.

And then you, you know, and then you're like, let's learn it together.

That's a lot of advice, actually.

That's this person goes.

This person says, when my wife and I were first establishing our relationship, I made it very clear many times that I'm not a mind reader and that expecting me to be one won't work out well.

On this coffee issue, my wife likes coffee that tastes how I like it, so it's easy to work with towards the end with her.

So, this guy is just a badass tough dude who really

yeah, and thanks for coming in and saying it doesn't really happen for me because my wife and I like the same coffee.

This guy goes, the key of a working relationship is being able to talk about problems.

I know how hard it is, but use this minor problem to learn how to be honest without being hurtful.

Be nice.

Tell her how much you appreciate her effort to make you coffee, but it is simply not the way you like.

So don't say you make shitty coffee.

Try something like, I prefer my coffee prepared differently.

And then

you're not coffee good.

But that person is, you can tell, that person sounds like like they're like a therapist or something like that.

That person who's just describing it, that was really sort of kind, kind of, you know, like use this as an opportunity to like sort of practice that type of communication and still be kind in it and everything.

That was this, that was really nice advice.

That person does not belong on Reddit at all.

Well, don't worry, because this guy says, I wish we had this rule in my house, is it would get rid of 99% of our arguments.

Apparently, it's not an unreasonable expectation of me to be a mind reader, according to my wife.

Oh, that's so good, guys.

You're just coming on here like, oh, my God, my wife.

Holy crap, guys, my wife.

Like, whatever the thread is, it's just like, oh, yeah, I should try that one.

My damn wife.

Here's a guy with minus 61 points on his face.

Is that good?

That's not.

It's not golf, brother.

He goes, as a guy who just got dumped out of a four-year relationship, don't tell her shit.

Drink that coffee like it's the last cup you will ever have.

Oh,

that's a sad divorce guy.

He hold on to that, man.

It tastes a whole lot better than

loneliness.

The dopest pope says, dude, you need self-respect.

And he replies and goes, I have tons.

That doesn't matter when it comes to a relationship.

I was always the honest boyfriend.

It does matter.

Huge asshole.

I just want to say, it does matter, I think, in a relationship to have self-respect.

I think it's helpful.

No,

not at all.

This person goes, I'm not married, but I'm in a long-term relationship.

You can also propose a friendly brew-off, assuming she can taste coffee quality.

Oh, really?

Why don't you propose to your fucking long-term girlfriend, buddy?

How long's it been?

Gee, like,

proposing a brew-off is the most like fucking, I bet the sort of guy that loves to like play devil's advocate for funsies with his girlfriend.

Yes.

Like, you taste the coffee and you're just like, hey, babe, this is like pretty good, but I think I'm better than you.

If you want to have like, I'll see you tomorrow morning at 6 a.m.

First ever brew off and we'll

oh God.

Then that line, assuming she can taste coffee quality.

I bet he's a really good boyfriend.

He's probably a great boyfriend.

I can guarantee that.

Yours should come out nicer and she should be able to detect it.

As long as you make sure it's not too competitive, you can offer to teach her your method and recommend her try it.

Of course, this assumes she has the same taste as you and doesn't like stale coffee.

Also assumes you can brew a good coffee yourself.

God, he's just like four seconds away from being like, a fine cup of coffee, my lass.

Methinks I could teach you to do it a little better.

What about this person?

He would say methinks.

We talk about a lot of people who say methinks on this podcast.

What about this person says, hide the good beans from her.

Buy some shitty cheap beans and put them where the good beans used to be hide them from her does she have object permanence your uh your wife

hide the good beans from her buy some shitty cheap beans some cold cheap beans you know cold yeah oh

yeah that's a reference that's a reference that's uh from uh was it steve aoke

yeah yeah steve aoke yeah

at a vip steve aoki show someone complained that there was cold cheap beans and the that's all they had on that

goes smile and thank her for making good coffee for you and then when she's looking the other way use the coffee to water the plants and this person goes had a similar issue a while ago was laughed at told there's no fucking way she's weighing coffee grounds in the morning and to make it myself if i had such a problem with hers seems like a good relationship yeah i would just drink the crappy coffee and not worry about it too much

say you don't want coffee and then just get one on your way to work or whatever like go pick one up or something goes mine brings me cool coffee served in an ice cold mug.

I would never tell her that it's bad because there are more different things than coffee,

more important things than coffee.

Not many, but this is one of them.

We went to Arrowwood

because coffee

is kind of a drug.

What are you kidding me?

Are there posts from just people drinking coffee?

Yeah, this person goes,

apart from the traditional methods of brewing coffee by Jorge,

the dose was six grams of coffee, ground and crushed.

Dosed with coffee.

Body weight, 110 kilograms.

I don't know what is that?

I think that's quite a bit.

It's like a kilogram is about, I think, 2.2 pounds, is my understanding.

Yeah, so I think that he's

whatever.

He might be a good size 200-some-odd-pound guy, yeah.

Well, he goes, I personally enjoy coffee a lot, usually only in the morning, especially when the weather is warm.

I can have a light breakfast and some coffee in the morning, and it's enough for the rest of the day.

When it's cold outside, I find that coffee doesn't do enough,

so I just don't drink it, and I switch to green tea.

I found that taking a triple dose of my daily multivitamins on the day of cessation

significantly delays and reduces the severity of the tension, headache, and the flu-like symptoms.

I experience upon discontinuing use.

I do experience very, very severe withdrawal symptoms.

After three days of use, they are 100% guaranteed.

Something I'll taper off by gradually ingesting smaller and smaller amounts, but a paracetamol can also help.

That's a medicine.

It's aspirin.

Yeah.

Obviously, I would not be writing this unless I find that there's something of utmost importance to share.

So,

yeah, no one goes on Arrowwood and posts unless it's of utmost importance.

Apart from the traditional methods of brewing ground coffee beans, I just so happen to have discovered something very extraordinary.

Uh-oh.

I'm talking about adding excessive amounts of ground coffee to a custard and layering cake sponges along with it, or making fudgy brownie stuffed cookies where the brownie filling has a lot of ground coffee.

At this point, I didn't have to, I didn't have a tolerance to caffeine upon consuming two pieces of cake for breakfast.

I'm micro-dosing with a tear of the soux in the morning.

Eating cake for breakfast on its own is so funny.

I know.

I had two pieces of cake for breakfast this morning.

Yeah, which we did, but we had Charlie's first birthday party and it was pretty early still and we had cake and

it did feel weird.

It was like, you know, I know you have like desserts in the morning, but having cake before 2 p.m.

is a little bit suspect.

Upon consuming two pieces of cake for breakfast, I became extremely stimulated and euphoric.

I was very much in a flow.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You had a sugar high.

Sounds like you had a baby, little baby boy sugar high.

He was micro-tasting the coffee.

I think he put a lot, because the way he described it was a lot of coffee.

Oh, so you think he is like really hopped up on caffeine as well as the sugar?

Yes, I think he put like an excessive amount of coffee in the cake.

Like, because that's what he's saying.

He's saying like more than he could ever drink, basically.

Yes, that's what we're saying.

So he's, but maybe he dumps like he dumped a whole bag or something in there.

And now he's eaten all of this coffee.

And he's stimulated.

He's also in a flow state.

He said, at this point,

he goes, I was very much in a flow state and words and ideas were pouring out of me.

Oh, you must have been a joy to hang around.

Every time you read an arrow and review it, and they're like, I got a bunch of ideas.

You're like, oh.

Oh, God.

Can you imagine this guy on like a million grams of caffeine just screaming the dumbest ideas at you for an hour?

These effects easily surpass any energy drink in any strong and dark brew I've tried.

I found that consuming the whole coffee bean provides a much smoother effect.

Just eating the beans.

Just eating.

I mean, you could buy those like chocolate covered coffee beans.

I've had those.

Those are

I was kind of wondering how he was eating the coffee beans.

Like if he was taking them like a pill.

He's chomping down those beans.

Because the beans are really hard, right?

You can't really just like, but the ones that are chocolate-covered coffee beans are not as hard as that.

I've never had one before.

They undergo some sort of drying out process that makes them kind of crunchy, but they aren't.

They are not soft by any means.

I understand, but you can, they're like brittle almost.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He goes,

I found that consuming the whole coffee bean provides a much smoother effect, a more gradual ascent and long-lasting stimulation.

I also felt felt like I experienced much stronger antioxidant effects.

I love that wine.

I don't know why it's funny to have a guy say antioxidant effects.

It's like he's just jamming an entire fucking huge tub of coffee grinds into a cake.

And then he's just like, there's some really, really good health benefits to it.

He's rubbing coffee grinds on his gums.

He's like, I'm peeking.

Yeah.

Gums of caffeine coffee.

Oh, fuck yeah.

It does sound like he was in a cocaine state of mind.

He goes, I wasn't jittery and I didn't have a crash in the afternoon, nor did I have a withdrawal symptoms the next day.

I strongly advise trying this out as I think that the state this put me in was nothing short of psychedelic.

My mind was...

I take mushrooms then.

Just take a small amount of mushrooms if that's what you're looking for.

Take a small amount.

But I like this line.

My mind was extremely punctual, elevated, and I was grasping and handling concepts and ideas, putting in some very interesting work.

I don't know what my mind is putting in some very interesting work.

Him sitting on a park bench, like looking at a fucking leaf for 20 minutes.

I love this guy.

He was probably like had a Diet Coke and saw the machine elves.

Yeah, this guy is actually really awesome.

He's like, he's like, he's trying to get so fucked up on coffee.

And I don't even really understand why it seems so important to him.

Because there's like, he mentions him.

He knows the other stuff he could be taking.

He could take speed.

Yeah, to get way more fucked up.

But he has decided he wants to do it with coffee doesn't matter how much of it it takes.

Yeah.

I mean, he could

like buy Adderall off somebody, but even the other side of it is like, I guess you can't drink a bunch of energy drinks in a row.

It's funny.

You know what I mean?

Ryan came up with that as an example.

Adderall?

Well, buying Adderall from someone.

That's exactly buying drugs.

That's exactly what somebody I know does, perhaps.

I don't know.

I'm not going to say it because I don't want to get you in your head.

Oh, it's me.

I buy drugs illegally all the time.

He says, oh, it's me.

He really didn't know.

I love buying illegal drugs.

He goes, this route of administration truly let the power of the coffee bean shine.

And I realize how powerful of a drug it really is i consumed approximately six tablespoons of ground espresso and two pieces of cake without tolerance so say a few months of break so uh there you go this guy should get a hold of some coca tea and really blast off

yeah

six tablespoons i'm trying to think i know i i make coffee from listen i i don't want to tell you guys i'm the best husband around i make coffee for my wife sometimes before she wakes up and I'll put six like spoonfuls.

I don't think they're tablespoons, but about that, that brews a whole thing of coffee for her.

So I don't know.

Is that a lot?

Is that even a lot?

Because she'll drink that, I feel like, over the course of it.

Do you think that the consumption being just straight up the

materials does something?

You know what I'm saying?

Because you're just...

This next one says, anything in excess is a bad thing.

Caffeine plus sleep deprivation is drug they did.

They did four cups of coffee, 20 ounces of caffeine

liquid.

I don't know what that is.

And then four oral chocolates, she ate four chocolates.

So that's that's the

drugs we were looking at.

Taken orally?

Like just as chocolates?

Four oral chocolates.

Like just chocolates?

Are they a drug chocolate?

I know we love that first oral chocolate album from the 70s.

It's really beautiful.

Wow.

That is actually a great drink.

Straight up like a funk band.

That's why Erwin is the best, though, because, yeah, everything is thought of

in those terms, you know, like chocolate orally.

If you really want to experience chocolate, you got to grind it up and snort it.

It's in my experience.

Yeah, it's fine chocolate anally.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I boof it.

Yeah,

I'm slipping Cadbury eggs up my asshole.

Cadbury mini eggs.

I stopped eating the king-size caramellos with my mouth, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, now you sit down on a Randy Marsh style.

Yeah.

Shut up.

First line, I think.

Just by the way, Matt, I just want to clarify.

He used to eat six king-sized caramellos in the middle of the night.

He used to wake up and eat them in the middle of the night.

We haven't talked about that for a while.

We made a sticker, actually, and it's one of the rare stickers in our sticker packs.

But yeah, he ate six king-sized caramellos in the middle of the night.

Was this a regular occurrence or just one time?

Every night.

That's so mad.

For a long time.

Oh, I know.

Now

I did it orally, yeah.

It took them orally, yeah.

It was actually fantastic because it was like the

like the um

he didn't realize when he sort of said it.

He said it to me on a stream live, and he didn't even know just how fucked up it was, I think, until the response from me and everybody in the chat.

And to his credit, he stopped eating the caramellos.

He's off them, and he got off of candy, you know, a lot.

Like he, he just started eating healthy after that and lost a bunch of weight and looks great so uh this this first line of this arrow would review i think you you're both going to love well it just so happens that this particular experience is still ongoing Oh no.

Like the Yelp review in the parking lot.

Yeah, this is a Yelp review in the parking lot.

You haven't even trips here for all this chopped on tug RLA.

It's kind of not fair.

This is like reviewing a movie before it's done.

It's not even fair to do this review.

I don't even want to hear it.

Currently, I am eating vegetables, bread, bread, and drinking lots of water.

Six hours ago was a very different story.

Let me explain that for you.

If you, if you two don't know, do this.

When I've been like really unhealthy for a while, I'll just be like, let's eat some vegetables.

You know what I mean?

And just you eat the vegetables like their medicine, like they're going to cover up all the bad stuff you ate for five days.

I was recently visiting some family in New Orleans, and it was the weekend before Mardi Gras.

So it was like carnival time and everyone, I was just behaving like a maniac for like six days.

And I was like, I'm going to come home and I'm going to eat a salad.

And it did fucking nothing for me, man.

Maddie, when I got back from my trip, because I was gone for almost two weeks.

Yeah.

And I got back from my trip.

I ate so bad for those two weeks.

I was eating donuts all the time.

You ate the pancakes, the stack of pancakes.

People saw the photo on the Instagram of you laying on the chair from the pancakes.

I ate a lot of pancakes.

I did all this stuff.

I got home, and the day I got back, I had sweet greens

for dinner and I was like, oh, I feel better.

I'm actually doing a little better now with the sweet greens in me.

The person goes, I had decided to stay up and watch TV and surf the net.

It's winter break.

I have some papers to do, but I haven't done them.

Well, I drank one cup of coffee and I finished off the soda that I had from Subway.

I think that if I hadn't had that sandwich, I would have been in much worse shape than I am in now.

Thank goodness for that Subway sandwich.

Thank God, Subway.

Subway's brought a lot of pain and horrible stuff into this world, but thank God for them in that moment.

They saved his ass.

I would have been in much worse shape than I am now.

Anyways, I went to get another cup of coffee, some chips and salsa, and four pecan delights.

I hustled those down and I didn't really feel anything.

This person's trying to get fucked up on coffee and candy, which I

like.

Yeah, who doesn't want to get up on coffee and candy?

And they're like a university student, it sounds like, as well, right?

So they're right in the wheelhouse of that age where you don't have a whole lot of money either, too.

So you are kind of always looking for and you or just not access to maybe the drugs that you want.

So you're looking for ways to get fucked up.

Yeah.

I had another cup of coffee when my dad got up at four.

It was crazy.

Then I had another cup of coffee at 6 a.m.

with my mom.

Though I use sweet and low, it still doesn't calm down the caffeine that's in a regular coffee so here I am no sleep junk food coffee and soda at eight or nine I started to get the shakes I wasn't shaking so much my teeth were chattering I was shaking so much my teeth were that's probably hot great I've never gotten so hopped up on caffeine that my teeth chattered ever no

that's only happened to me when I was very very cold I feel like it happened to me one time when I tried original recipe for loco before they changed it oh yeah before Chuck Schumer spearheaded spearheaded the effort to make it illegal in New York City, bastard.

I did, I did go to a party that was like a bunch of stockpiled original recipe for locos, and I did exactly

part the vittering, the glittering veil between this world and the next and touch the face of God briefly.

Um, and my teeth were chattering and stuff.

I knew a guy, I'll say this: I knew a guy, and he did a ton of drugs, like he's just uh

one of your friends, yeah.

Sorry, yeah, one of my he did like he overdoes drugs, though.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like, I, I, I, I got these, like, in a real way, like, in a, in a, I got these, I got these

two CB pills, which is a psychedelic, a potent psychedelic, uh, when I was on tour, and I wasn't going to take them because they're like a research chemical.

I'm, I just, that didn't seem like something I'd do.

So I was like, you want these pills?

The guy that gave them to me said, never take more than one.

Don't do it he took two i gave him three he took two immediately and he's he said he went absolutely insane and it was one of the scariest nights of his life right uh so the reason

guys who just is like not really married to the whole idea of being alive or whatever and at the same time like those people who are just taking drugs to a degree where it's like i'll give it a shot you know i'll just like go for it like even though someone's telling me if listen if queeber the bottom line is if queeber queeber i wasn't quiber at this time okay well if brian quimby or queber comes to you and says here's some drugs that i myself am not willing to take you go ahead and throw those into the trash because those are not safe for human consumption

so anyway uh uh the thing the reason i bring that up is because Obviously, he does things to excess, like tons of Coke.

Like the type of guy that gets like an eight ball of Coke and then like two hours later, later, he's like, I got to go get more Coke.

You know what I mean?

That's what Coke's all about, though.

But I understand what you're saying.

But that is kind of the concept behind Coke is, hey, let's get some more Coke.

But yeah, yeah.

The guys who are just like, you're like, hey, we're hoping that would last like an hour and a half.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, he used to drink this stuff called Sparks

before Loco was out.

Oh, yes.

He would buy five of them.

And by the end of the night,

like a half of those would kill me dead at the end of the night when he was talking it would be like he was on adder all or coke he would do that thing where like you move your mouth weird and you're just constantly fucking chewing and it was just off that there was no other drugs going into him so that for loco that era of drinks was fucking crazy i'm i'm so glad i didn't drink because i would have been one of the guys that had a fucking heart attack

i mean i'm glad that i only that they became illegal because i found out later that i have a degenerative heart condition.

It fucking hit me.

Oh, my goodness.

Imagine going down to four loco.

Oh, yeah.

That is, that is.

It's like I'm pretty sure people did fucking die.

Like, it's

coffee.

Caffeine seems neutral is what I'll say.

Like, to, to most people,

they don't in their mind have like this thing where they're like, there's an amount of caffeine that might fuck me up or kill me or make me feel bad because they all feel like they can handle caffeine yeah you know what i mean yeah because every like so many people drink so much of it seem to take on so much of it that it doesn't feel like it's a dangerous thing but there is what what now i'm trying to think of what is that what is that uh restaurant the american restaurant that had that uh crazy uh oh panera panera bread

yeah yeah yeah i used to drink that that's caffeine right that's that's a high caffeine thing like in an amount that i drank the big tall ones all the time for a period i thought thought they were great.

Those were the oncade.

It was cold.

Charged lemonade.

Those were the ones that were killing people, right?

And they had to get a lot of money.

I loved it so much.

It was so good.

And there were disclaimers on the fountain when you would go to get it.

Like, hey, you know, take it easy on these.

I almost felt as though I had to be cold because my teeth wouldn't stop chattering.

I felt that I should take a bath, so I did, but it didn't help.

Oh, God, that is big time fucked up behavior.

Like, oh, I feel like I should take a bath.

I can't put my clothes on i just need to clean myself i need to feel clean i need to take a bath and eat some vegetables i'll be fine vegetables and then i need to be naked and get this hair off of me

i started freaking out thinking that i was going to die so i got out of the bath i was instructed by one of my friends to lie down and have lots of water well this resulted in frequent visits to the bathroom i had a terrible ache in my stomach and i tried to lay down but i felt like i couldn't go to sleep otherwise i wouldn't wake up i was so alert of everything.

Even touching my arm was scary.

I was so alert that I was paranoid.

I started semi-dozing off, but then I would snap out of it.

It was almost like I was in a dream state, and I knew I was, but I felt like if I snapped myself out of it, I wouldn't fall asleep and die.

I couldn't sit still, so I would walk around the house, but climbing the stairs was a chore, and breathing even seemed to be a little more intensified.

I would like to say that this is the first time that this has happened, but it's not.

This person shouldn't be a doctor.

Yeah, you got to go.

You shouldn't.

Yeah.

You should go to the doctor.

There's something else going on here.

Okay.

And also, yeah, maybe, and like, whatever, go to the, see if the head doctor's in as well while you're there.

Talk to them about why you keep doing that kind of stuff.

Because I get it.

Like, when I was young, I took a lot of drugs and I did stuff like that.

But if I had an experience like that on something, I just don't think I would do it again.

Especially with this next line.

I just realized the sensitivity to caffeine this past June.

I thought it was stupid to blame it on the caffeine, but sure enough, each time I have it, I get achy and I go into panic/slash anxiety attacks.

This is it, I'm done.

I never want to experience this again.

And the funny thing is, I used to drink caffeine all the time when I was younger in my teens and such, and it never affected me.

Maybe I never paid attention, but my body can't handle it anymore.

The end.

Wow.

I mean, yeah, if I'm if I'm trying a drink and every time I do it, I end up nude eating a head of lettuce, I feel like maybe I'm not going to do it anymore.

I don't know.

Well,

let's take a look at a little coffee shop called Old Coffee, O-L-D-E Coffee, which is on 2nd Street in Vancouver, British Columbia.

No, it's not.

What are you talking about?

This is in North Vancouver, I think, right?

2nd Street.

I've never heard of this.

West 2nd Avenue, sorry.

2nd Avenue.

Vancouver, B.C.

Yeah, yeah.

And this guy's a cold.

what's it called again?

Sorry, I've just never heard of it.

Coffee, O-L-D-E coffee.

This person gave it a one-star review.

And he goes, Hello, and welcome to this odd cafe, which has a big lot of attitude from people serving you and who can ruin your day.

Let's put up an honest review for this hyped up 4.9-star cafe.

We're never going to come back again.

And in a clown emoji,

it was day three and five of Vancouver.

And being coffee coffee freaks, this is our third cafe, the worst one to be precise, 26th July, 1.30 p.m.

Firstly, no name outside the cafe, which becomes tricky to figure out for visitors.

Okay, that's not a biggie.

Secondly, we ordered two ice lattes and oat milk.

We like and prefer always less ice.

Of course.

Of course.

More coffee.

Hey, you get more coffee if you have less ice.

Of course, the ratio's got to be correct.

And you can't have too little ice either because then it's going going to be an issue with the temperature.

So, yeah, you just have to get it just right.

And you're a professional and you should be able to do that.

It's pretty simple, honestly.

This is where this gets to be a weird review.

This is where the reviewer becomes insanely weird.

Oh, the man taking the order felt like he was in a delusional state of mind, probably delusion of grandeur.

It was so hard to communicate with him because everything what we said seemed like a problem to him.

Was he the owner or manager?

Well, I don't care.

He seemed quite arrogant.

My partner asked about the beans being Arabica, and he said they use different coffee beans every couple of days.

Okay, so that sounds like that's the policy they use.

He goes, We wanted to make sure the coffee was not a fruity note, but again, he replied, Oh, coffee beans are obviously Arabica with quite a lot of tone.

With quite a lot of tone.

So listen, I've found that, yeah, the most arrogant, you know, delusional people you'll meet are baristas.

They are just always like the cock of the walk.

They're so arrogant.

It's definitely, I can, I hear this story.

This is one of those reviews where you're taking the other person's side.

Almost everyone who's listening to this is taking the person, the other person's side, even though you're trying to get the opposite response from the reader.

Yeah, I'm taking the coffee shop guy's side because it seems like such a pain.

The person seems like a pain, right?

And he goes,

He goes,

Okay, I was going to make them listen to this, but I didn't.

But there are four types of coffee beans.

Okay, coming back to the order.

So the barista fills up less than three-quarters of the small glass.

This is what they serve.

And considering we ordered less ice.

So this is literally a person who says no ice, so I can get more.

Less ice.

Yeah.

I want less ice.

No ice is the

Coke, no ice.

My friends used to order those because you get more Coke with all the ice.

I love lots of ice myself.

Like, if I'm if I ever, I don't drink tons of pop, but if I do, I'm going to have the full glass of ice and it just poured over where the ice is actually, you know, touching my lips as I drink it.

That's how I prefer it.

I want it ice cold.

That means you pay for ice at this cafe for iced coffees.

Hence, we asked if he could fill it up a little bit as it looked quite less.

And he replied, We're a local business.

This is how we serve.

The quantity

matters to us.

LOL, but this is not how I prefer.

I love that line.

Oh.

Oh,

I'm in here.

Yeah, I'm here, right?

Oh, excuse me.

I actually prefer a larger steak.

Could you bring this back and give me a bigger one?

Okay.

Being a cafe, not being able to understand about a customer's need and being super rigid about their policy.

Oh, yes, he said this is our policy.

Isn't going to take them a long way.

This, by the way,

truly well-reviewed coffee shop that people love, like one of the best in the city.

Yeah, if you have, I will tell you this: in Vancouver, people love their coffee in Vancouver.

And if you have good coffee, it doesn't really matter about anything else.

You will have customers there all the time.

People love this place.

So, this guy, the reason that I find this guy annoying is because he's acting like a coffee guy that truly can't

like doesn't I believe that the cat the coffee shop has good coffee yeah you know what I mean this guy acting like he knows better which is so annoying he didn't mention I think he had he hasn't mentioned the coffee quality yet has he like I think the coffee was really good and he you know like that's why it's not being included in there because he's like this is one of the best coffees I've ever had but he was so mad at the guy that he couldn't even review it well the shop was violating this guy's policy of getting free coffee and he just didn't like that very much.

Weirdo, Cassie.

Where I get a little bit more coffee than everyone else.

It's my personal volume.

You can see I'm wearing this hat that says I'm a special kind of guy.

He goes, if you want to stick to, if the person likes it extra hot, extra ice, less ice, et cetera, it's their choice.

If you want to stick to naive policies, then you're not being considerate towards a customer.

Also, please put up a smile.

Would help you and the customers.

Well, and you look, you look cute.

You look better when you smile, sweetheart.

I mean, that's the bottom line.

I mean...

Also, smile at me.

I want to feel like you actually want me here.

And, you know, I was kind of feeling like I was a nuisance.

Like, bro, you're a nuisance.

Yeah, you were kind of looking at me like I was annoying, which was not really the best.

Yeah,

you're treating me like I was an annoying person, and I'm simply not.

I'm just relaying to you my policies and how I like to be.

There are so many other other cafes around.

For example, Revolver.

Ha!

They served us a full glass with less ice.

Good luck and thanks for not being nice to visitors.

I do know Revolver.

I've heard of Revolver before.

Revolver is a well loved.

But like I said, there's like a hundred coffee shops and everybody here drinks so much coffee.

So it feels like all of them are doing really well, like, or a lot of them are doing really well.

So this, we got like just a couple more things here that I wanted to bring up.

I think we're going to have to start with

the best coffee shop in the world

is in Tokyo, Japan.

It's called Glitch.

Okay.

And where was it decided on as like?

Just, that's what they all said.

Like, if you go to R slash Coffee,

like, there's people like, I finally went to Glitch and it.

It fucking did it for me.

You know what I mean?

And they have some special, like, you didn't look into any of the stuff.

No, they just said that the coffee's perfect and like it's, it's the best you can get so he goes uh this guy goes you wait in line even for takeaway then they sell you overpriced beans

do as if they're the cock they and then they act like they're the coffee experts believe me i'm from germany we do have lots of good coffee coffee this is just a tourist trap and the service people do as if you're a person who first drank coffee avoid this trap They act like they're the coffee experts, but

aren't they like a world-renowned coffee place?

Aren't they the actual coffee experts?

Yeah, I love this because this next person, I think what happens is these people go in.

Obviously, if you know about this coffee shop, you're a coffee guy.

You know what I mean?

Like, like, no, but we're never going to know about glitch in fucking Tokyo, Japan.

I don't even know about a coffee shop in fucking Indiana.

I live like right next to it.

I will say this.

What if, just to play, you know, I love playing devil's advocate.

And what if

you're going on vacation and you're just looking for like renowned, you know, you're going to that place and you're looking for a renowned spot kind of, and you look it up, like tourist places and they say like glitch coffee that's like the best coffee in the world.

So there could be a couple people

that's on a list.

Yeah, it's on a list probably, Brian.

Not the kind of list you're on, like a different kind of stuff.

I'm not on any lists.

Yeah.

2,000 yen for a hand drip seems like a very.

Wait, 2,000 yen for a hand job?

That's pretty good.

Well, that's good.

That's a good price.

That is 2,000 yen for a a cup of coffee is really expensive, I will say.

How much is 2,000 yen?

How much is that?

I think that's like 15 bucks.

Okay, so it was 25, 25 for me, by the way.

Yeah.

And I was in Japan last year, and the thing that I found there actually was remarkable is that most food and drinks were actually pretty cheap compared to here.

Even if they were really, really, really, really good, they were just the price of food and like

sodas still cost a dollar, you know?

Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you,

over, like overall food, food-wise,

it was inexpensive, but like, overall, did you find it that way?

Like, it was affordable in general.

It was like much more, like, I found like just regular food to be much more affordable.

Even fancier food was like, you know, we went to like a really, really, really fancy sushi place because we were there for our 10th wedding anniversary.

And, and still, like, a bottle of sake was still $25.

Like,

Maddie, I have one for you now.

Okay.

Toby's Estate Coffee in Brooklyn, New York.

Toby's Estate, the best chain in the world.

They're from Australia.

Okay.

Have you ever been to that one?

No, I live in Queensbury.

Oh, it's in, where is it in Brooklyn?

Does it say?

No, I didn't get the address.

I live in Queens, so okay.

So you wouldn't go there.

You're not going to like this review.

You'll probably never go there.

This guy is like

Coffeeburg or Green.

Coffee that checks all the Brooklyn boxes.

MacBooks?

Check.

Organic?

Check.

Chock full full of European tourists?

Czech.

Pros.

It's ventilated and light-drenched.

Soaring ceilings and comfortable sofas.

Designer walls that may remind you of a 3D Maundrian stuffed with antiquities.

I don't.

Yeah.

Oh, I straight up have been there, actually.

I'm looking forward to that.

Well, the cons.

Well, you would have been.

You probably got a MacBook.

Yeah, were you there with your MacBook?

I have a power book because I'm Were you doing organic stuff?

Did you have, or did you ask for organic coffee?

I think I was reading a comic book while I was waiting for my wife to finish getting a tattoo around the corner.

That's what I was doing.

Here's the cons.

There's one bathroom that's probably out of toilet paper.

I will say, we're like an hour 20 in, and we have not yet mentioned that coffee does make you shit.

Oh, yeah.

I love it.

Nobody on the website talking about drugs mentioned a side effect of having to shit, which is crazy.

Having to crap.

That is true.

There's one bathroom that's probably out of toilet paper.

Crawling internet.

Is it zero-g that makes sense?

Just fucking tether to your own fucking shit if you need to use it, buddy.

It's 2025.

But also, that is a good point you brought up, Maddie, about the shitting and stuff.

It's like, of course,

of course, there's no toilet paper left in the bathroom.

Everybody's in there dropping huge shits all the time.

That's right.

He goes, crawling internet?

Is it zero-g?

Surly staff, more focused on the craft of coffee than you.

More focused on the craft of coffee than you.

That's what you want, isn't it?

I want to be treated special, like a big special boy.

No, I want the best coffee.

I want to go to this coffee shop that's named one of the best in the world.

I want to be treated like a big special boy that knows everything about coffee.

Yeah, I know, but they, don't you want your coffee to be really good?

Don't care about the flavor at all.

Okay.

I will say that I like it no matter what.

Yeah.

Oh, I see.

As long as it's known as a good one.

This is more of like a cafe guy.

Experientially, he's really into the concept of like a cafe and less about coffee.

Put it all together and you get a Brooklyn Bread, by the way, from Australia.

Brooklyn Bread, probably overhyped, but still solid coffee shop that checks the boxes, but didn't leave me overly impressed.

So that's it.

And finally.

Let's get to, because if I don't bring it up, it's been on Reacher this season two.

We've got to talk about Kopi Luwak.

And if I'm saying that wrong, coffee guys, suck it.

It's the coffee that they have a cat eat and then crap it out and it's the best coffee in the world.

Oh, yeah.

So, okay, this sounds like a joke being played on coffee, people.

Civet coffee, I've heard it called.

Because a civet eats it.

Yes, and the civet, it's bad.

It's bad.

It's bad for the world, I'll say.

Like, because it's like they're abusive towards the civets.

They feed them only coffee beans.

It's that kind of thing.

So it's horrible.

It's like foie gras or whatever that is.

It's like foie gras.

Oh,

that's my big thing.

I will not eat at a restaurant.

Ever since I found out about that, I will not eat at a restaurant that serves that particular dish.

It's like, you know, whatever.

I mean, I'm not really altruistic about stuff, but that made me so upset that I was like, I can't be eating at your restaurant if you're fucking doing the goose fattening thing.

That's ridiculous.

One of the things they say is that like, it doesn't even taste good when you buy it, like, in the factory farm version.

It tastes better if a guy goes out and finds poop and then wash it.

Like, if you find the poop in the wild,

you clean it off.

That's where it's.

Strange.

Yes,

they call it wild.

Kopi Luak.

And that's better.

So if you're a guy chasing around in civets or civets or whatever they're called and and uh picking up their poop and then washing it off and selling it you can get more money if you don't farm it you know what i mean and we're talking this is 399

for for i think 12 ounces maybe because i looked at it

and i said that could be a business expense um

Brian, by the way, I mentioned before, I went out for Charlie's first birthday.

We tried to go out to a fancy dinner.

It didn't work out so well.

We had to take food to go because the baby kind of lost interest in it.

But I did, there was a list.

They had so many whiskeys and stuff.

So I, of course, looked to see if they have Pappy Van Winkle, and they did not.

And I was going to like ask if they ever have it.

Just, you know, for my own purposes.

But then I realized they would have thought I was the biggest fucking dickhead ever.

So I just didn't even mention it.

You know, they would have been like, oh, another fucking asshole coming in here asking about Pappy Van Winkle.

There is a, before I read this last re, this last Quora post, there is, Guy Fieri has a

restaurant in one of the casinos we read a lot of reviews for,

Sayota Downs Racino.

And

he has a Pappy there.

You can get it for $35 a glass.

That's not bad.

When we walked in, we'll get papped up.

When we walked in, I was like, because they had all the liquors up there, and I was like, I wonder if they have Papi.

And Ariel was like, Well, will you have it?

Will you have one?

Will you have like a drink?

And I was considering it.

Just to be clear, I have not drank alcohol in, I want to say, 18 years, but I did consider having a glass of Pappy if they had it.

And it wasn't too expensive, you know.

This guy goes, The question asks is, What's it like to taste Kopi Luac or Vietnamese weasel coffee?

They call it.

Take this as an answer from a very experienced coffee and tea drinker.

I've had a lot of tea.

Had a lot of tea in my life.

I mean, I'm experienced in it, actually.

You put a lot of liquid down the old throat, my friend.

I'm actually,

people often say I'm an experienced drink expert.

It's crazy that I just thought of like.

Every day I'm drinking.

Everybody,

so many people are experienced coffee drink.

Like

almost everybody, like 50% of the population of the world.

It's one of the least

interesting and remarkable things you could say.

And please don't be offended, weasel coffee lovers and copy luac lovers, but I taste no difference.

It looks different, sure, the beans are certainly prettier, but a nagging part inside me told me that's only because it's more glossy and in a better packaged gift box.

To be fair, the Vietnamese weasel beans are noticeably darker, but that might just be due to the nature of Vietnamese robusta beans.

It's not to say that it's bad.

At any rate, most legit Vietnamese weasel coffee and imported Kopi Luoc are incredibly wondrous to taste and smell.

They just don't live up to the hype, and the top shelf of many brands could easily rival them.

And that's coming from someone who can tell when Twinning changed its recipe to include lesser quality tea.

Excuse me.

I gotta say.

No, I know, Hang on.

So

okay, no, please, Maddie.

Oh, I was just gonna say, he keeps calling them Vietnamese weasel beans.

Yeah, I think that's another expensive one.

Indonesian.

Yeah, I think that might be another expensive one.

But that's poop.

Sure.

It's another poo one.

It's definitely another poo one.

Oh, yeah.

Now, I was interested that he, this is, I did not realize that we were hearing from a guy who could tell the difference between what do they say when Twilling changed

changed to a lesser quality tea in 2013, he said.

That made me take a pause there to say, okay, this is somebody who can sort of discern beverages maybe a little bit better than you or I.

I love this line.

And that's coming from someone who can tell when Twinning changed their recipe to include a lesser quality tea.

I've realized it in 2013 before the company even admitted publicly.

Oh, yeah, I was telling everybody about it

for a while.

And they were all interested.

Before, and they were all like, yeah.

And then afterwards, I like, obviously, I called them and I was like, right?

See?

And, you know, a lot of them were like, what?

I don't really remember or whatever.

And I goes, how do I know this?

My parents drink tea exclusively, so all the coffee in the house are left for me to play with.

Naturally, I told my brother to make me two cups to blind taste.

Almost identical.

Oh, yeah, this guy.

This guy's not

a whole not nor I want to know.

I'm just like, not my kind of guy.

I've I've said this before.

This is not the kind of guy I would want to hang around with.

It might be a lovely guy, nice guy, you know, but not my kind of guy.

How often?

Do you think he's working the 2013 Twinnings Tea Switcheroo into everyday conversation?

Oh, every time he talks to a barista, that's every time someone asked him about his tattoo.

I would imagine.

It says that exact semester in old English across the scene.

They admitted it.

They admit it.

He's got the, oh my God, he admit it.

Like meme tattooed on him.

Well, that was coffee, guys.

You won't believe how much other stuff I have.

So, guys, plus, you're going to get some more of this.

Reviews of the first Starbucks, which are very fun.

Five-star reviews of the first Starbucks.

I went to that.

I did go to that in Seattle.

That's in Seattle, right?

Yeah.

I've never gone because there's a line.

I went there.

I didn't go in and get anything, but I went there.

I saw it.

It's like down, I think, by the docks or whatever it's called.

Docks.

Someone's going to get so mad.

It's Pike Place Market, I'm pretty sure.

Pike Place Market.

Yeah.

We walked by it.

We also can have definitely How to Get My Wife to Drink Real Coffee will be a good one.

Talk about on a bonus episode.

So that is it.

Maddie, would you like to plug anything?

Oh, sure.

Two big things right now is I've got a book out.

When's this coming out?

Next week.

Soon.

Tuesday.

You've actually got it on the right.

Yeah, this is one of my favorite kinds.

But I've got a book coming out in July called Simplicity.

You can go to simplicitybook.xyz to pre-order it, which is very important for me continuing to be able to eat food, have an apartment, things of that nature.

And you can listen to my podcast, No Gods, No Mayors, where we talk about mayors every week, which is a kind of guy.

That's exactly.

Yeah.

I mean,

we're pretty political on this show.

We don't do politics.

And even to say, I don't even know if they'll probably bleep mayors.

They might bleep the word bear, but

I'm a prominent leftist.

Like, can I just say very influential leftist?

Can I just say that that is a very good idea for a podcast?

Just the idea of the amount of absolutely, I mean, we had a famous one in Canada that I don't know, Rob Ford, of course,

Parter on Rob Ford.

Yeah, thank you.

I'm glad to hear that, but there is really an endless amount of interesting and fucked up mares.

Yeah, the sort of thesis of the show is that it's this weird catch fence for psychos, that it's like two, that it's like, you know, you're too nuts to be like super high profile, but you are like immediately, every single mayor is a maniac and almost every mayor goes mad with power in some way.

And then nobody.

Nobody knows them.

Nobody knows them in the, that's like judges, too.

Yes.

When you're electing them, you're kind of just voting like for the Democrat or the Republican.

It's not like you don't know them.

Yeah.

In Canada, it's a little bit different

with the way the politics work.

I do want to say, just,

you should look at our mayor right now.

He's this used car salesman who's now the mayor's name's Ken Sim.

Yeah.

Oh, he's don't worry.

Okay, he's really, as somebody who lives in Vancouver, he's like actively trying to

stack the city council with only his own party, and he like never shows up.

He owns Zoom.

He's turned a bunch of city hall into a gym.

Yeah,

he's got his own gym, and he has 24-hour

security detail with like a black SUV that follows around.

They just showed us half a million dollars or something you spent on that because somebody spray painted

Ken Sim hates poor people on his garage once, and now he's like, someone's going to kill me, and I need around-the-clock surveillance.

I hate the guy, anyways.

We're not political on

him,

Brian.

Don't do that.

Don't just play.

This is a really bad guy.

Don't say you like, I'm a baby.

I need some movie juice, mama.

That's on the actual show.

That's a man cow drop from his radio show.

That's a real man cow drop.

I'll play it again, Maddie.

I'll play it again real quick before we get out of here.

Maddie, you're going to love it.

I'm a baby.

I need some booby juice, mama.

That fucks.

I want to like, you didn't say he did that on my

band.

I want to sample that on a record.

I'll send you the

somebody told me in that drop, somebody speaking of in that drop, somebody messaged and said there's an apex twin song in that drop.

Sample.

All right, we'll see you all next week with something.

Goodbye.

Bye.