Guys: Episode 104 - Genealogy Guys with Dave Anthony

And my co-host, descendant of a Cherokee princess, Chris James.

Hi, buddy.

I mean, that doesn't sound bad.

Well, it's stupid.

Okay, but

it's something people lie about.

Let me tell you, that's an insult in a genealogy world because it's something that everybody lies about.

Because, one, there's no princesses.

I understand.

I see.

So, and then Cherokee is like a lot of people will say that they're indigenous or First Nations.

I'm in Canada, so maybe use different terminology, but they'll lie about that.

And Cherokee is kind of the go-to one that they use to lie.

I just want to clarify as to not sort of come across.

I'm well, I'm not.

I'm

fully Caucasian.

I will say that.

yeah not me and as a guest somebody we've been i've been wanting to do a podcast with for many years from the dollop dave anthony hi dave hi not i'm not

from princesses you're not from a cherokee princess either no i have like three friends who told me growing up like people that porno sean i think had a had some Cherokee blood.

He said he did.

I don't think he did.

He was blonde hair and all that stuff.

Yeah.

Porno's Sean, I have seen a photo of him, though.

I mean, this is possible.

It is possible.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You could, I'm sure there was an occasional blonde Cherokee run around.

And I'm also like, yeah, and I'm just sure in general, of course, there's a lot of people lying about it, but there's some people not lying about it.

You know, there's.

It doesn't seem like there's some people not lying about it, Chris.

But they're, but they're ha, that's got to be the case.

There are people who are descendants of Cherokee, isn't it?

What, you know what I mean?

Like, they have to actually exist, right?

Well, funny, a funny thing about the genealogy guy, that's who we're covering this week.

A funny thing about them is there are very scientific-minded ones who come to this looking for an objective,

like

where I come from, what my family was, were there any weird people in my past, was there any cancer?

And then there are the other people who are trying to verify that they are something.

That they're yeah, or they're royal, like we're

from Thor.

Yeah, yeah, like just like I think a lot of that those people kind of they just get a feeling like inside of themselves that they are a certain way, and they're like, I, it is, I must be like, I just feel like I'm the same as Thor when I watch the movies, you know.

I don't know if you, if, if, if this kind of thing happens as much in Canada, but it is such an American thing that like every white guy is like, oh, I'm Irish, I'm from Ireland, I, uh, I am Irish, and I fight, I, my family fought on the Union side of the Civil War.

No,

that doesn't happen.

We do have a lot of Irish people here.

Like we have a lot in Vancouver, where I live, there's a lot of Irish people.

But yeah, no, it's, I mean, I think we're just kind of, we call ourselves Canadian.

I don't know.

I don't know.

It's not really a big thing in my world, definitely.

I'm Scottish and Norwegian.

I do know.

I don't know what I am.

I do know that.

I'm looking down on in a genealogy world.

They're like,

you don't care?

And I'm like, no, I genuinely don't care.

I, that's my, my, my thing with, with God is that I don't care.

And my thing with ancestry is I, I don't give a fuck.

What, what, what actionable information is gained by finding out that I'm three-quarters fucking Irish or whatever?

You know, I can only think of Irish.

Yeah.

I suppose, like, I suppose if you're having like

some sort of,

you're not able to find yourself, you know, you're having some sort of a like and you and you can then say oh i'm an irish person now and like you have something to identify as you know and now you can be like i'm gonna go to irish bars i'm gonna like get into the culture and it might help you to like uh create your identity but yeah other than the cancer thing that you mentioned or like finding out that type of stuff that runs in the family that could be helpful it doesn't seem to gain you anything dave have you ever had any interest

uh yeah a little bit i mean

from from the aspect of like I think it'd be cool to go back to, because we are actually Irish, to go back to Ireland and find relatives that you're related to.

But that's kind of it.

Like, I don't really see any other purpose.

It's just kind of like, I mean, we're all in America, we don't have like

ancestry, sort of.

So I see how people seek it out, but there's a, there's a level of like needing to know that you're of something great and you're, you're not.

i think the most important thing is to just learn you're not english well that's the thing about me is that i am number one

oh no

number two my grandma all my life was like you know and i learned this this is something i actually did learn from this episode she's like yeah we're re-related to george washington And so I started.

Hang on, hang on.

Sorry.

Who said that?

Your grandma?

My grandmother.

Yeah, my dad, too.

Your dad said it as well?

Yeah.

But he got it from his mom, who's your grandmother?

Who probably told it?

I see.

I was told I was related to Susan B.

Anthony growing up, and that was.

Oh, no, you're going to find out that's not that great when we get

absolutely just garbage.

It turns out you dodged a bullet there, Dave.

You know, it's funny because he was like, we're descendant from George Washington.

As you start to read these forums and stuff, the subreddit,

I saw a lot of people say, say, you know, you're basically related to everybody.

And I was like, that's not that can't be satisfying if you're no, at the beginning, there was a giant orgy.

Oh, don't get him.

Yeah, don't get him.

Wait, Brian, both your hands, please.

Both of your hands.

What was that?

When there were three people, right?

Yeah.

Was there one single guy that wasn't a guy?

And he was, that's where it started.

That's where the whole thing started where he was like they were just like hooking up and he was kind of like hey guys or you want to want a hand and then leering over leering over a rock behind a rock yeah his name and they were like no you're not allowed in

it was uh it was adam and eve and trevor

well let's take a look at some some posts here we got uh from our genealogy um does anyone else get the feeling that people consider genealogy weird?

I don't know if I consider it weird.

It's more like pointless, like we were talking about.

I think, but, and Dave, you did bring up a good point, though.

Learning about family could be cool.

Like, you know, when you find out your heritage, you're like, oh, I have family that's in that country.

I could go visit them, perhaps.

Although it is kind of, if you're a grown-up, you are going to visit strangers or whatever, you know.

My buddy did do it.

He went to Ireland and he goes to this small village

because he knows he's from that village.

That's where his name comes from.

And then this woman sees him and starts talking to him.

And then she's related somehow.

And they go in the house and she's got a drawer.

She takes a picture with everyone who comes to the village.

with their name.

And there's a drawer of hundreds of pictures of people.

And she's like, these are all of our relatives from all over the world.

Oh, that's wild.

I mean, yeah, see, that's like kind of cool.

I remember I went and I met a bunch of, we did like this family thing, you know, where it was like my family going back since they came to Canada.

And it was all this like, old, some real kind of nerdy member of the family had put together this really elaborate.

I had that too.

Has really elaborate video that they put together.

And it was, uh, it was kind of interesting to see.

It was kind of boring after about 10 or 15 minutes, but it got saved because

God rest his soul, he's deceased now, but he was like my aunt's husband.

And he was so old and he didn't give a fuck at the end.

And some other old guy was like, They're like, Hey, all the short people to the front.

And then some other old guy, they didn't really know each other.

He was like, Hey, that means you to this guy, Mike, who I knew, you know, the, and then Mike, this, he's like 90 years old.

He looks right at this other old guy and he's like, fuck you.

And I thought it was going to be like a full fight.

Like, it was like no joke about it.

It was like a full confrontation.

And it was the coolest thing ever.

My brother and I talk about it all the time, you know?

I, I went once to a family reunion, but it was for my

stepmom's side.

So it had nothing to do with me.

But then my wife every year in Cincinnati,

her family had a reunion.

For the first like 10 years we were together, we would get guilted into going.

And my favorite part of that reunion was there was this lady there.

And she kind of reminded me of

my aunt where she was had a morphine patch on all the time.

And it was like very hot outside and very humid.

And everybody was sweating.

And those things are activated by heat.

Oh, God.

And she was just sitting and talking to me and my wife like the whole time, just completely fucked up.

And it reminded me of my family because my aunt is also.

on that stuff.

And what she does is she puts the, she puts the patch on and then lays it on a heating pad.

And just oh, my god, that's tired.

That's really

the innovations that people come up with, that's fantastic.

Is there a chance, Brian, that your wife's family was like, you know, Brian's going to be a little bit sort of nervous coming over here?

Let's make him feel at home.

Somebody put on a morphine patch and save him

so that we can make him feel more at home.

I mean, there was a piece of me.

So when I went to mine, it was my stepmom's family, and I didn't know any of the people, didn't care about them.

There was one guy there, one kid, never forgot his name was Anjay, and I found that strange.

Um, why did you find that?

Like, you ever met somebody named Anjay, nope, which is John in pig Latin.

Okay, on to

wait, so was that like he was?

I think so.

I mean, how what would be the other reason to name somebody on?

Well, this is it.

You're talking, this is a white guy, a white kid in Ohio.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Okay, that is that is more strange.

I thought it was just like perhaps like, you know, somebody who is like, you know, Thai or Indian or something like that.

But it's also the only time I think I ever was in the same place when my dad was having fun.

Oh,

because I'm not going to go on a cruise with him.

Yeah.

Why not, Brian?

And we should talk about why not.

But you just, your dad loves cruises and he clearly wants you to come.

I know he does.

And it would be really nice.

Maybe you bring the whole family.

All right.

So anyway, the post-great place to get the norovirus.

And that

can bring a family together.

Like you have to swap toilets all, like the whole time in the cabin.

It's good.

Do it.

I'm just saying, Brian, that, you know, maybe it's sort of a way that you could put out an olive branch or something like that.

Well, and we've talked about my family in the past where like, I'll never know if cancer runs in a family because certain members of my family might lie about having it so that they can.

yeah you

you do you you do the genealogy taking an it says you have a history of lying about cancer

well I do have that in my family

okay so this person goes I don't know how else to phrase this question haha but ever since I got into genealogy I feel like my family and friends who are aware of the hobby think it's weird I don't bring it up anymore with people specifically because of this feeling but they still manage to bring it up on my behalf in a way that feels like I'm being made fun of oh this person's me, by the way.

I do love that.

I can picture this, you know, it's like something happens.

It's like, oh, yeah, like, you probably check that out on your little fucking family trees there, eh?

You know, like, it's like, well, we'll let them live it down.

I mean, are we talking about like,

like, is it just like who I'm related to?

Or is he talking about other, like, whatever diseases you can have in your...

Like, what's the

frame of

he he seems like he wants a lot of these people seem like they want to know their family history okay right but this is like but some people want to know other family like the thing i've learned is that like if you went on ancestry.com of course there's a lot of people that just have a family tree and they're working on it and by the way you can comment on people's family trees on there So you can be like, this is, there's a few of them.

I have some posts later on about people saying, take my grandfather off your family tree.

Oh, shit.

That ain't your grandpa.

That's not your grandpappy.

That's my grandpappy.

What are you doing?

That's crazy to go on someone's family tree and you see a member of your family on there.

But there's like people also on there that have like 15 family trees.

You know what I mean?

I don't know why they're looking for stuff.

I always get the impression that basically they're hoping to be

related to again like a Viking generally.

All of them want to be related to a Viking.

Yeah, of course they do.

But I could also see out of spite, like someone getting into someone else's family tree to see what kind of shit they're from.

Yeah.

Oh, you're fun to see the jail.

I think it would be fun to see the jail records.

Like, do

how many of your relatives were jailed?

We've had a couple guys in my family because we do the yearly giant family thing.

And one guy looked it up and I remember he got as far as in like 1846.

They decided to go across the country on a wagon train.

And the, uh, one of the

dad leader of the family just got shit faced and wandered off.

And then when he came back, the sons beat him up and they left him.

And then,

so, so, there's fun stuff in there.

Uh, but we did have, we have had a guy go all the way back to like, we were the bell keepers in Ireland.

And I'm like, yeah, everybody's probably related to the fucking bell keepers.

Yeah.

That's what it feels like.

That's the, the joy, because they say, like, as you go back, you have more and more relatives.

Yeah.

So, like, it, it multiplies as it goes.

So, there's less people.

And I know this feeling of feeling like I'm being made fun of, by the way.

Like, remember, I've talked about this in the past.

I thought the Taco Bell people were making fun of me for a while.

So, well, that's where.

Wait, what?

What do you mean?

I don't know.

That's insane.

Why did you think people

were laughing?

Sorry.

Yeah, no, they were, Dave.

Not the corporation, but the people at the actual drive-through, and they were laughing at him.

Every time I go to the drive-through, I'd speak into the thing, and the guy would sound like he was laughing when he answered.

And then, when I got to the window, they'd all be laughing and have a good time.

And there, I'm like, they're not having a good time at work, they're laughing at me.

They're making fun of my voice or my order.

Yeah,

what do you order?

His orders were probably fucked, and his voice is probably fucked too.

You can imagine, like, right off the bat, they're like, Hey, can um, can we help you?

And he's like, I try.

No, that's not.

I order four chili cheese burritos.

Yeah.

They sell here.

That's not weird.

Oh, my God.

Four chili cheese burritos is like so much to me.

Are they like small little things?

They are.

Dave, are they small?

You don't eat them probably.

They don't have them there.

They don't have them there.

No,

I will go there, but I'm vegetarian mostly, so I'll get just like a bean burrito and tomato stuff, taco.

I don't go near the meats, but you just sounded like what you order is like, can I get just the diarrhea special?

Like, that's yeah, I'll explain

it's Ohio-specific.

You're telling me this is it's basically you can, there's a Toledo finder on

Taco Bell.

Has Ohio-specific dishes?

Well, yeah, and let me explain this.

This is this is the only attribute you have, but I will say that when I was in high school, they had a deal with Taco Bell.

The school did.

Oh, God.

Sorry, that sounds so fucked to me.

I, I just

listen, I we got a lot of fucked up stuff up here, no doubt, but that sounds so fucked to me.

And they had a Canadian deal with with with Taco Bell and one with Pizza Hut because they had a deal with Pepsi altogether, like an all-around deal.

And uh,

they, they would bring in every week chilitos for 89 cents a piece.

What are Chilitos?

I don't know.

It's really just like a chili cheese dog without the hot dog in a, uh,

in a burrito.

You know what I mean?

Like, I mean, what no, I don't describe that as absolutely horrible.

Like, and I don't know, I don't, I can't picture the way you're describing it at all.

If you saw it, you would, I would, I could show you a picture of one and you guys would be like, oh, that's not good.

And also, sometimes it occurs to me that, like, but they only sell it in places where people were, were, got hooked on them when they were in high school.

You know what I mean?

Like, it's like, that's fucking, they're like a dealer that gets the kids hooked on the fine shit.

and then it's the only explanation that makes sense to me is that oh they only sell it in like smaller and in a few places and those places were probably the places where they served them at lunch to kids in in high school and now all the people are like well we gotta they gotta have them forever now the thing that worries me is is there just like a bag of chili cheese sauce just sitting at a factory

like waiting to be sent and then because I'm probably one of few that order it, you know?

Yeah, someone like scrawled Ohio on the bag and it's just sitting in a corner waiting for the Ohio truck to come by.

So this person, and by the way, so yeah, the, the,

the, uh, they were making fun of me.

He goes, it bothers me more than it ought to because it's, because it is something I really enjoy and find fascinating.

I make a point of not shoving it down anyone's throat because I understood early on that basically no one cares.

To me right away, like they would literally stop me in my tracks and say, stop, stop talking.

I don't care.

I feel like

I'm so confused by this, I guess, because I don't how, how is this?

I think it's the same confusion you were having before, Dave.

Like, how is this a hobby?

Once you find out your family tree, isn't it over?

Right.

You're done.

It's like a puzzle.

Yeah, like hobbies are ongoing things, I feel like, that you want to be able to continue to do.

So I'm not sure I'm clear what these people are continuing to do.

More stuff, more stuff about the people on the tree.

You get what I'm saying?

So, I think smaller details, like oh, he worked at the cheese factory for Taco Bell.

Yeah,

so wait, so they're they're like doing investigations, yes, very much, very much.

So, they'll, they'll find a guy that is before,

so they'll find a guy that says your great-grandpa is still alive.

I wish, thanks for bringing up that.

Hey, thanks for

opening up that wound.

Mine passed away, actually.

But say your great-grandfather's still alive and you're doing a family tree and there's a person in

your past that you find that your great-grandfather might have known.

So then you go to your great-grandfather and you get the information about that person, their personality, the kind of things they did.

You add that to the tree for that person and then it helps you to work your way back.

It does make some sense to me yeah that's nice but it's weird because they do find weird stuff like they they definitely find like a lot of mistresses and a lot of bigamy like guys in in europe that came over here and left a wife and daughter and started a whole new family

yeah so common

people run into brick walls doing it that's what ends up happening a lot of times is they'll run into just a brick wall because there's these people that aren't that are connected that are not at all connected so that and you got to figure that out so anyway it goes uh i understood early on basically no one cares i just don't understand why it feels like not only do people not care they're actively mocking me for the interest does this happen to other people it doesn't change anything for me as far as whether i continue or not it just feels uncomfortable way way more than really makes sense to me first respond ply is i've been doing genealogy for 30 years i've had some of the same reactions from friends and family as you're getting, including mocking me for being interested in genealogy.

This is honestly the first group of people who are very aware that they're being mocked and made fun of.

I kind of have a, I do have a respect for them that they're like, hey, I love this thing.

You can make fun of me all you want about it.

It's not hurting anybody.

And I'm going to keep doing it, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

And it goes, in my experience, a person who mocked me many times over many years for being into genealogy also mocked me for lots of of stuff oh well okay so this is a this is a schoolyard bully that

you go to the corner store and he's waiting outside

just wait

well just wait guys then years later he started wanting information about one of his family lines oh here we go look who came around this is a movie script if i've ever heard

look who wants to find out about the cancer now right yeah yeah no kidding you're holding it over his head and he's like interested because because of a cancer scare.

And you're just like, oh, La Lina.

Of course, I dropped everything for him.

Not.

Oh, shit.

I thought he was, I thought he did drop everything for him.

Not.

He caught me in the first half.

Even people who are sort of interested in genealogy don't want to know very much beyond when and where people lived.

I spent a lot of time putting together a notebook of information for my parents and they never read it or asked me about it.

Oh, fuck me.

That's brutal, dude.

Because listen, that is brutal.

Because the amount of work, you can judge it all you want, but you know, there's a lot of work that goes into that.

You know, putting, finding that information, like, you know, tracking on those people and then you give it to your parents.

You're like, oh, that's sweet, honey.

Thanks.

And you see it gathering dust on the coffee table.

Every time you go over there, it's still sitting there

in the same exact place.

And you're like, oh, shit.

Yeah.

Well, they didn't like that.

It was probably a gift, too.

That's cool.

He was so excited to talk to his parents about all the people in the past.

Just like, he's, we're going to have so many great conversations.

Oh, my God.

It's like the gift.

It's like, of course, I'm giving you the gift of the book, but really, it's the gift of the conversations that we're going to have.

I found fascinating things.

They were sixth cousins, despite growing up hundreds of miles apart, but they didn't care.

Well, sixth cousins, I don't even know what that is.

That's like everyone.

Way,

way off from the family at that point.

Like, I could go maybe.

I have some third cousins that I've met, but then you're, you're, you're way, like, I have nothing to do with you.

You're just not part of my family.

You're a stranger.

You're a stranger.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This next guy goes, I discovered that my parents both have ancestry from the Shetland Isles, which would almost certainly mean they're distantly related.

Neither of them had any clue about the Shetland Isles ancestors.

They briefly feigned interest, but ultimately they were indifferent to my findings.

But hey, give them a little credit for sort of pretending like they gave a fuck about this stupid shit for a little bit, you know?

That's nice.

John says, in doing my genealogy, I discovered that my wife and I are related four different ways.

But the closest connection is that we are 10th cousins and she's related to my ex-wife twice.

And I was related to my ex three times.

So this is, yeah, see, I guess I don't understand how this stuff works.

Yeah, no.

Yeah, that one, that, that made me realize how little I know about this.

How are you related to someone more than once?

Yeah,

I have no idea.

I really don't.

I don't know how that it works, I guess.

I thought I did, but I don't.

Well, I guess you could be like, it's like the same way you could be like

your dad could be your uncle and your dad at the same time, maybe.

But could he?

Yeah, I think it like is

a cousin has a relation that ties in with the other person, I guess, and then it becomes your cousin and your dad.

I heard a lot of stuff.

This person goes, my family's a bit like this.

I've heard things like, what have they done for you?

Fuck.

You know what?

Cut them loose.

I'm not going to read the book.

You get rid of those motherfuckers.

You have things done for you in the family now.

Who's he saying that about?

Who is that about?

It says implying unless someone directly impacts your life, you shouldn't waste two seconds on them never mind that without them you literally wouldn't exist oh yeah this guy this next thing he says is i don't want to find this is another quote from his family i don't want to find out i'm related to a bunch of horse thieves probably a bunch of horse thieves congrats zero horse thieves are thieves in general as far as i can tell and besides we already knew about the aunt who set the local jailhouse on fire so i don't know why horse thieves were such a big deal

these are i would be so excited to know is related to horse thieves i agree What the fuck are they talking about?

The greatest thing that we ever found out in my family is why we're not religious because my great-grandfather had, and we found this out later through my cousin researching this stuff.

We had gotten kicked out of a church because they tried to raise the pew fee.

And my, either my great-grandfather, my great-great-grandfather refused to have any part of it.

And so the church excommunicated him.

Wow.

So

my parents are like, we have some swords.

Like my dad was like, we have some.

And I've talked about our family silverware that we had

because I sold them to one of those places that melts down silver.

But in his defense,

he needed to buy pills.

That's true.

They gave me like a $80 for those timeless

treasures.

I'm sure

if my dad found, like, if I die, my dad's going to find out, but he'll die first, so it's fine.

Um, this person goes, I'm weird and creepy, and this is a thing that I do.

How other people feel about it?

Well, when they pay bills in my house, I'll care.

I research the people that built my house and the house I used to live in.

There's another tree, that's another thing.

Yeah, yeah,

and weird.

That's weird, I think.

You're when you start researching other people that aren't your family, uh, that's that gets into weirdness, I think, for me.

Privacy concerns at the very least.

why are you doing that i guess would be the main question i would have

isn't that what the mormons are doing aren't they doing all the family trees yes because you can uh uh save people you can you can uh make people temple worthy or something after related to them yeah yeah yeah so they just make people mormon after that's smart

That's one of the smartest religion things I've ever heard.

You know what can stop you from doing it?

Yeah.

Oh, by the the way your great grandmother was a mormon no she wasn't yeah she is now she is now

she's one of our top members on the page

she's vice president

i researched the so they go and i did back when the internet was not a thing was it weird don't care is it creepy i want to know if someone died in my house yeah probably but no one did so there's that I feel it's no different than people getting all my sports team guy and cosplaying them during sports season season to each their own.

Um, it's different, it would be like if you got into the sports team and you started researching about their families and stuff like that, uh, the sports guys-that's what it would be like.

Actually,

this person goes, I can't comprehend for the life of me why people would be genuinely entertained by watching a sport for a single second, let alone thousands of hours of doing it at great expense.

And yet, almost everyone I know engages in this, they're the weird ones.

Yes, thank you.

Have you ever ever been out in the parking lot for a big genealogy convention?

I tailgate them.

Yeah, always.

I bring my barbecue.

I was at a sporting event recently, Stefan from the Go Off game.

We had six throw seats.

Lower bowl, six throw for the Canucks game.

No ice cream.

I can tell you it was

appalling how boring it was.

I was like, what is going on here?

Hockey game.

Hockey games are like the best live sport.

It was so boring, Dave.

You wouldn't even imagine.

I was yelling from my seat.

I was yelling, excuse me, where is your heritage from?

All of the players.

All kinds of looks.

This person goes, I know, without it being said to my friends, that it's weird to most of them.

I've done most of the work for many of the naysayers and their minds change, I think.

It's just another hobby that, well, not not everyone's into.

Think of the people who are bird watchers or do woodwork.

We have thought about bird watchers.

We've done an episode on

with Joe Perra, and yeah, that was, they were really nice.

And I would say that in a similar way to these, the ones who are just looking up their own family and doing this kind of fun little research, talking to old family members, trying to find out that that's really fun and harmless.

And, you know, it's like maybe a little bit annoying and I have no interest, but similar to bird watching, it seems, they seem kind of nice, you know?

Well, listen to this.

John Stryker, John Stryker goes to our genealogy and he says, Well, damn, related to Hitler.

Yeah, that's not one.

That is not one you want to find.

Like, honestly, that's got to be one of the worst ones.

I think you probably just close the binder up at that point and get a new hobby.

You're going to put this away.

Yeah,

I mean, that's one of the things

I suspect.

He had a feeling.

I mean, my mustache sort of

gave me a feeling.

I'm always like pushing down feelings in my body that make me feel like I'm Hitler.

Yeah, that's right.

I want to run for president or chancellor if I can.

Yeah, I want to be the president, but for some reason I keep thinking chancellor in my head when I say it.

Yeah, but now I can't run away from it.

Now it's irrefutable.

I am, in fact, related to Hitler.

That's a sick comrade.

To be fair, my last name is Hitler.

So I appreciate it.

He goes, Someone connected my very well-researched family tree to Adolf Hitler.

If this stands, he's my fifth cousin, four times removed.

Still hoping to disprove this.

Nobody needs that guy as his or her most famous relative.

Yeah, that's, yeah, I would, I think that's a worthy endeavor to spend your life trying to disprove your relationship.

Like, if you're into it for that reason, if you're like, yeah, that's fair, you know, I don't think it's tough, though, if you just work so hard at it all your life and you just never do, you know?

You go to the genealogy convention and there's like a real sad group of guys that are looking into Hitler standing in the corner.

They are not tailgating.

Those are the Hitler guys over there.

This one goes, one of my husband's, however, great, great, great, great grandfathers was a Dutch slave trader to Brazil.

There are several instances of my own family tree of slaves being left to family members and wills.

One was interesting, where my great-great-great-grandfather left a female slave to his niece with the contingency that she'd be given a room in the house with her own bed and given her own garden plot.

So she was at least somewhat taken care of.

Oh,

come on now.

This guy, like, hey, listen, it was kind of cool to find out that my slave-owning relatives were a little bit nice to the slaves.

Yeah.

I mean, look, they gave her own, it's her own little room that you could go in and fuck her whenever you wanted.

It was her own little room with a special locking mechanism on it.

And yeah, it was, they were, they were, hey, they were some of the good ones, I guess.

Safe to say.

Yeah, that's, I would just be sticking right.

Like, I wouldn't be, I would say, hey, listen, man, that's a tough.

I'm, I'm really, I don't, I'm not proud of that aspect of it.

I, I'm not going to try to excuse things went well for that slave lady.

Uh, this guy replies to this person, goes, eh, it is what it is.

I have a neighbor suspected of murder and another one involved in human trafficking migrant workers.

Still have to live with them, but it's none of my business.

Wait, what?

Sorry?

Who is that?

Wait, who is the

murderer?

It's not your business, but you can also care a little bit about the human trafficking.

Those are two things I would care about.

Brian, can you say that again?

I think

it's important.

He goes, eh, it is what it is.

I have a neighbor suspected of murder and another one involved in human human trafficking migrant workers.

Still have to live with them, but it's none of my business.

But the neighbors, like, you're saying these, so these are people that

relate it.

These are just the people that live near him.

He's just saying, like, what do you do?

I mean, look, what are you going to do?

The guy in 4A might have killed somebody.

I mean, what do you, you know, what were the circumstances of the killing?

I would, I would want to know.

You know what I mean?

Because I would want to know for my own safety, what are the circumstances?

Was this like, you know what I mean?

Was this like a business thing, or am I in danger?

And then the, yeah, the trafficking, the trafficking, human trafficking.

I would, I don't know, I guess I don't know what I would do in that situation.

My business.

Well, you know, one of the things that you're is your business is you live in a really fucking terrible neighborhood.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And the thing is, like, there is nothing

similar to living next

to a murderer and a human trafficker to a guy being very distantly related to Hitler.

Yeah.

Totally different thing.

I had that neighbor that the neighbor I grew up with did go to jail for murder later on.

Like when he was, we were the same age and we went to school and he went to he went to jail for murder and then he got his conviction overturned and he got released because he's cool?

No, I don't think I don't think so.

You are released.

It was because it was it was because it was in self-defense.

The killing was in self-defense.

Someone attacked him with a knife knife and then he disarmed the person with a knife and killed the person and yeah and so i think he rightfully got a release but yeah it was uh it was always a little something interesting about that guy i remember in drama class his name was josh i remember in drama class we had a the talent show where we could all do our talents And we had this really freewheeling drama teacher who was like, you can do whatever.

You know what I mean?

Like, and his talent was taking pain.

That's a good time.

I'm good at that too, actually.

I'm not joking.

I'm not making this up.

This sounds like I'm making it up, but he literally stood out on the stage and people threw chairs at his back.

And that was his talent.

Hey, Miss Freeze.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Yeah.

And then this guy took a knife from someone and are you putting this together?

He was like, yeah, you can stab me.

Oh, okay.

Whatever pain you have.

Yeah, he was.

No, listen, if you read the whole story of this guy, he was this guy was bullying this other guy that I knew, the guy who is, I don't want to get into it, but this little guy named Christian, he the guy had knocked him unconscious already and was attacking.

So, this was like a real, you know, you can read all about it.

I'll, I'll drop the link in the description of the episode.

There you go.

Huck dog says, Yeah, I found out through my grandfather that I'm related to Andrew Johnson, but through my grandmother, I'm related to Susan B.

Anthony, so that's good.

Then it gets a reply, um, Susan B.

Anthony was racist, so not a lot better than Johnson, I'm afraid.

Oh, I'm sorry to say some of your ancestors, a little problematic.

That is a big issue with going back in your family tree.

It's like a lot of them are going to have been a little racist.

If you go back far enough, you're going to find some racists.

Some of them are going to be, dare I say, sexist?

Here's a good one.

Here's a good one.

I'm a fourth cousin to Dolly Parton and a fifth cousin once removed to Jim Bob Duggar.

More distantly related to.

Jim Bob Duggar, is that the

bad guy, the quiverful

people on the TV?

That's the one that they have all the bad one.

Yeah, he's a real bad guy.

And he's like, but they had like a show on

one of those.

TLC.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TLC.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because more distantly related to Greg Allman, Barbara Bush, Margaret Atwood, and Kristen Wig,

related to both George Bushes and Barack Obama.

December

both George Bushes?

Yeah, not even one.

I got the older Bush, but I dodged a bullet on the younger one.

God damn it.

Why not name the other Allman brothers, too?

Also, why not?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, Jeb catching some shade as well.

No Jeb shout out.

I love being related to both George Bushes and Barack Obama and descended from Mary Boleon through at least two lines of my family.

OP says, mine are also 99% farmers, no nobility, and this odd, very distant relationship to one well-known dictator, which is Hitler.

Hitler, most likely, but who knows?

There was some other dictators.

Paul Pott, anybody?

Well, this guy does say, ha ha, if you think about it, a lot of 20th century dictators came from very humble origins.

So in a way, it's not even that surprising if you look at it this way.

Yeah.

I say it all the time.

They're working class heroes.

They work hard.

I don't agree with their politics, but they are working class.

And this person goes, I think Mao, Mussolini, and Paul Pop were all teachers too.

Guess some kids really drive you nuts in that job.

Oh, come on.

Come on.

That's that's dark humor.

That's dark humor.

Next guy goes, I have Hitler and Stalin.

Oh, yeah, nice.

I didn't even know they hooked up, but that's fucking great.

This guy's great.

This guy's great.

He goes, 16 million people are descended from Genghis Khan, the original Mongolian Hitler.

Don't let it bother you.

Okay.

Yeah, like, isn't like, like, so many people are related to Khan.

Genghis Khan, because I think he went around doing it a lot.

Yeah, he was like the number one rapist of all time.

Yeah, he was, yeah, he was doing it a lot, the bad thing a lot.

He was a bad guy overall, but

I guess he was a warrior.

So maybe some of these real,

you know, like, I wonder how they would react to Genghis Khan.

Would that be seen as a positive in this world or a negative?

Did you?

This person is a regardless, really good horse guy.

Yeah.

He's good on the horse.

He's great on the horse.

This guy says, regardless of what he did, I still think it's pretty cool.

There you go.

Okay.

So, so they

it's cool just because it's like he's a celebrity still.

You know what I mean?

He still is like a big name, even if he's considered a bad guy.

I think I'm understanding now, Brian, how these people are not nice and cool.

These types of people, the ones who are doing this thing, like what you're talking about.

It's like, I got like a fucking fifth wave Kristen wig and fucking Paul Pot.

Like, you know what I mean?

Like,

they're like, they're like rushing to the forum.

I'm related to Vladia Paler.

Yeah, like just like going at all these numbers, like, I got Dolly to sixth degree, and like, you know, like, just all this fucking shit.

Like, that's so much different.

Yeah, it's so much different than, like, hey, I'm going to go find dad's second cousin and talk to him about what grandpa fucking Stuart was really like.

That's fucking nice.

And it's a little corny, but it's nice, you know.

This one's weird because it says, Are you rich?

I'm guessing he is.

So he thinks he's got some of the Hitler money.

Like, is that a thing about Hitler, even that he was rich?

Like, I don't know.

I, I, he was because he stole, like, you know, he took everything.

But,

yeah, yeah.

Whenever, whenever I think of Hitler's heirs, I think, man, you guys, you guys are loaded.

Like,

holy shit, lucky.

Damn, you grew up rich on hooky money.

You said it's so easy growing up, dude.

This person on another thread says, just found out I was related to Ragnar Lothbrock.

I don't know who that is.

Is that a Viking?

He's a Viking.

He goes, after doing some digging, I found out I was related to Ragnar Lothbrock.

Never knew I was Swedish or Danish and all that.

Just Scottish and Irish, but still really cool.

I thought I'd share before I went to bed.

Next person replies and goes, we're not even sure if Ragnar was a real person.

So

because he's one of the main characters in all those Viking shows.

I didn't even know that.

Viking guy.

Oh, so is that person maybe doing a joke?

Like, there's a chance maybe some of these people are in here doing a joke.

I don't think this guy's doing a joke joke because he does some responding here.

Oh, he does.

I'm related to Gargamel, and you can't tell me I'm not.

Yeah,

okay, that would be cool.

Get some of that.

Oh, Gargamel was loaded, dude.

He goes, Well, I did well, I did so much research all the way from Robert Bruce and David the first.

I am so supposedly related to something, something, something of the nine hostages, whatever that meant.

Um, if he was real, I could say the same.

I can trace directly to Ivar.

So this guy is like agreeing with him.

Hey, if he was real, I would be related to him.

In theory, if this fictitious character existed, he would be in my bloodline.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The guy goes, if he was real, I could say the same.

I can trace directly to Ivar or Imar the boneless grandson.

Imar the boneless?

See, these sound like, I think he's doing it.

These sound like characters from a TV show.

I think they are characters from a TV show, Chris.

I think they're characters that people believe are real people because they're watching a TV show.

Another guy's going to come in and go, yeah, if Hitler was real, I'd be related to him too.

That would be scary.

I wouldn't like that.

This guy goes, I doubt you're related to Robert the Bruce.

Family histories of famous people back to the 14th century are fictionalized, even during the lifetime of the actual person.

It's a way of legitimizing power.

Source, I'm a medieval historian with an actual degree in medieval history, and I've also studied medieval prosopo prosopography, which is the relationships between families and individuals going back to ancient Rome.

And then the OP responds and goes, I'm related to Robert Bruce.

I have some documents.

He's got documentation.

So, hey, take your degrees and shove it, man.

This guy's got a piece of paper that says he's related to Robert the Bruce.

No, that's one of the things that they genuinely

love to do.

So we got to go to Trust Pilot because, you know, you ever been to Trust Pilot before, Dave?

No, I don't even know what it is.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

So you're not into reviewing products, I guess.

It's the number one

website.

Number one website for reviewing products.

Actually, the Geysery

we did a product launch a while ago, and it's on the guy, the Geyser is on Trust Pilot.

And the reviews are not good.

We have a lot of

very negative reviews from people, a lot of people who are very upset with us.

It's our favorite.

It's now, if you

go to Trust Pilot and review the Geyser, you give us a bad review.

We're going to start reading them on bonus shows.

Well, yeah, and we've, and there's already plenty to read.

Don't worry.

This guy is reviewing 23andMe, and he gave it one star.

And he was like, it took so long to receive results.

it took so long to receive results

i'm now able to understand i'm not able to understand most of what is presented the push to buy more services is way too much total turnoff i have one family match but many of my blood relatives are using 23andme based on matches on antrancestry.com these are unmistakably blood relatives I've heard that the company is being sold.

There's no guarantee that my data won't be thrown to the black market.

Yes.

Okay.

The black market is a weird one.

Oh, yeah.

It's going to be straight on to the black market it's

the mob is all about getting all the genealogy

well they want to make sure

that's important to the mob the genealogy is important to the mob because they got to know who's fully blooded italian you know what i mean

i'm a maiden

there's no care like i love the idea of him he probably is like

what if What if they use that DNA to make another me and then he replaces me at work and then I'm all fucked from now on.

Like, that's a possibility.

He goes, There's no guarantee that my data won't be thrown to the black market.

I learned this right after I submitted my sample.

I reached out, but not get a satisfactory response.

That's brutal.

He had just clicked it, and then boom, this pop-up was just like, you know, they can get your data.

And he's just like, oh, fuck.

Like, he tried to claw it back.

Too late.

This person says, not accurate.

One star.

I did not see much accuracy at all in the testing.

I know I have Asian ancestors, but genetic testing said 0% of Asian background.

Now, that's going to be

the main issue with 23andMe to these people is that they have a belief.

They have a belief

that they are, and they find out that they're not.

And look, I don't know what the accuracy or any of that.

I'm not trying to like defend 23andMe.

I do think I trust them more than my dad that said I'm related to George Washington.

You know,

you think they're working with like a better system than he is, perhaps.

I do feel like, yeah, there's it, it's hard, like a crisis of identity or whatever, to like, you know, if you've seen yourself as one way, like I was talking about earlier, the other side of it, like, yeah, it's probably pretty hard to be like, oh, you're not, I'm not Asian, you're not an Asian person.

That's how I've seen myself.

That's how I identify, but I'm not that way.

That would kind of fuck me up, I think.

You know, does it make a difference, though, if like, say

you do that and

the, and it's like well you're hungarian not english

but your people whatever the ancestors left hungary in like the year 1200 and went to with some conquering people went to england and then lived there for centuries aren't you english at that point well the fucking difference i guess yeah that's what i guess yeah united states is like i'm just the american i guess like i don't think any of that matters i think it's funny to be like oh i'm irish Ireland's a country.

Like,

I guess, like, there's, there's a certain, like, people don't look at it that way.

I think that people really do like the Hitler guy.

They really just want to like, these are guys that want to tell you about their boring shit at a party.

You know, they have, they probably have no lives on this world.

And so they're trying to find some interesting lives to make themselves more interesting to at a party.

And no one cares.

That's why no one wants to talk to them.

And yet everybody, and yet everyone keeps giving a hard time to my friend rachel

who's that rachel dolezoll oh

well i'd love to see her family tree

and listen i know what people are going to say people that are into genealogy they're going to be like oh but you collect legos there's a lego family tree that i could buy now so Well, I think, I don't even know if anyone was saying that.

I think you said it to yourself to rile yourself up to buy the Lego set that you wanted to buy anyways.

That's what it feels like.

I mean, I don't think anyone was saying, oh, yeah, you like

genealogy.

Well, you like Legos.

I don't think they're really.

They always say it.

That's

every person that listens to this show

is like, oh, but Brian likes Legos.

You do it when we go to the Talk episode.

A hardcore guys are like, this guy likes Legos.

Hold the fuck on.

Legos are awesome.

It is meditative.

It is real.

Like when my kids started doing Legos, I would be like, oh, when you're just

leave and I'd be doing it, I'd be like, this is funny.

Yeah, yeah.

But, but you, but you're doing it with, you know, with your kid and you bought it for your young kid.

I bought some for young people for Christmas.

But I'm not, I'm not making whatever.

He does whatever, he does whatever he wants to do.

And that was really nice of you, Dave.

You're the first guest who's ever done that.

Like, everyone else is just like, what the fuck is wrong?

What's going on with all those Legos behind you?

And they're all like kind of weirded out by it.

But it's just the fact that it is, he kind of doesn't have a leg to stand on.

And a lot of the arguments, he'll say, like, this is really fucking stupid.

And then he's got all these Legos behind him.

And it's kind of like, well, I mean, yeah, it's like a city behind him.

But look, I really think that it's, I think it's really good for your brain.

I think it's very meditative.

I really do.

Yeah.

I mean, I think probably there is an aspect of it that would be, you know, the monotony of it.

I guess the building of it.

Yeah.

I guess the amount of money I spend on

that's a big issue.

Now that's where it's fucked because those things are so fucking expensive.

I know.

And it's insane so you are half the head you can just get a puzzle it's so cool though like he tried to he tries to he tries to get puzzles too he's tried to do that it doesn't try to do models too like model cars no christ

it's the legos it's the legos that that do it for but he spends an outrageous amount he'll spit he's bought a thousand dollar set before no 750.

what and that was

a thousand canadian easy sure was it like hitler's wonderland like what it was the Titanic.

Yeah.

It wasn't even good to build either.

It's terrible.

Is that the thing that you learn about it, Dave?

There's different like things that look really nice after, but then which makes sense.

Some of them are like fun to build, whereas some of them, it's the same thing over and over and over again.

It gets like really boring to build.

So yeah, like they, I think probably you did the research, though, right, Brian?

You knew that it wasn't the best build.

I didn't actually do the research.

You did?

Well, the first, I don't research a lot, but the first, um, the first thing I saw when I started collecting Legos is a $750 set.

And I was like, you know what?

If I ever get to a place in my life I can afford $750.

You all gotta have a dream, man.

You all gotta have a dream.

That is

some people.

It's like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna like get as many people as I can off the streets and into homes.

And other people, like, I'm gonna cure cancer.

And you're like, I'm gonna build a big ship out of plastic.

I'm gonna get a Lego set.

If I just love the idea of you sitting there just looking at kind of one day, baby, one day you're gonna be mine.

And I, you know, that's very cool, but like, yeah, just, I don't know, it just, it feels like it is

too much.

The cost of the Lego is well, now I'm gonna buy the Millennium Falcon.

I've decided how much is that 850.

But

God,

hey, a daughter in college?

Is that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How does she feel about this?

She thinks,

like, I could lie.

I, I mean, she gets my gifts.

You get gifts with purchase when you buy Legos, and she gets those.

And she's like, oh, these are nice.

They're like small sets.

They don't take a lot of time to build.

They're too small for me, to tell you the truth.

Like, I'd rather have a large set, like the Millennium Falcon, that's $850.

But what I did was, and by this time this comes out, I'm probably building it.

What I did was I asked for Lego gift cards for Christmas.

And then I also bought everybody of my life Legos because they had two times Lego VIP points right around Christmas.

So, like, everybody of my life is getting Legos for Christmas.

But

none of them like Legos, Dave, in case you're wondering, none of them have any interest in them at all.

They're all guys.

They're all adults.

They all have like a family.

They're not interested.

They like them.

Everybody likes them.

This guy, this is really strange.

This is one of the strangest

Trust pilot reviews we've ever read.

And we've read some weird ones.

This one really is strange.

One star, cowboy customer service.

Customer service non-existent.

A year ago, I tried to close my account and get them to delete all the data.

This hasn't happened.

They're useless at answering emails.

You just don't keep a conversation going and get passed off to another agent.

I'm still trying to close my account, cowboys.

So, um,

so he's

he's calling them cowboys.

Well, he might be a cow.

He might be kind of out on the range or whatever.

That might be

how he addresses everyone.

But it does feel like, yeah, he's struggling to...

And he, did he, sorry, did I catch that?

Did he want them to stay on the phone with him longer?

He wants a back and forth and a resolution to essentially deleting.

It's not like he wants to delete all of his

information they have, which is not

what the service is.

Oh, they'll never do that.

Nobody

wants to take himself off of 23andMe's database, get all of his data out of there.

Yeah, because he read about it and he's like, oh, God,

I'm a criminal or whatever.

Like, he like, he's a horse.

This is my mom.

Did this.

So my mom is a woman who won't even put credit cards online.

Like, she'll buy nothing online.

She's like, I don't trust them.

And then she's like, I did 23andMe.

And we're like, what the fuck?

That is good.

I don't trust them.

I'll give them my DNA.

And she goes, well, I checked the box.

It said they couldn't use it for anything.

You're just like, oh my God.

Well, this person is a valued customer.

I was given one review.

It's one star.

And it says, I paid for the most expensive set.

So

I paid for the most expensive set so I could see everything.

And I waited over six months for results before having to do the test again.

I didn't even give me everything the first one was supposed to give me.

Test is trash.

So listen, we we all learn about we all learn about things but you gotta buy the most expensive like if there's five plans if there's three plans you gotta get the most expensive one or there's gonna be problems

just do it all the way right no

please do not please do not reinforce this notion in his mind and make him feel like it's good to buy the most expensive version of every single thing he's always seeking out that that like affirmation people.

So he'll like, he'll set it up in that way where it's like very agreeable.

And then really, he's like talking, he will buy the most expensive version of anything ever, Dave.

Am I in the middle of an intervention?

Oh, no, it's fine.

It makes sense.

What I'm saying makes sense.

They don't make the most, when we're talking about this, they don't make the most expensive thing

so that you can do the cheapest thing.

You know what I mean?

They make the most.

specific to genealogy right that's what you mean like take the take the titanic out of it and the yeah the millennial falcon like in this version why would you do

a a genealogy check that just goes back like three generations or whatever you would want to do the whole thing i agree i agree with that yeah i agree with that that that is true in this instance and it's probably not that much i'd have to see the price points and like what

it is expensive i think i've seen people say they spent 300 or see, that's that's I think what they do to you, though.

It's like I would have to do a bit of research on it because if you can get the information that you need, maybe the higher one is just for people with that mindset of like, well, I need to do the comprehensive one, and they just charge so much for it, you know.

Uh, but yeah, I would agree that you want to get all the information if you're doing something like this.

It's interesting too, because like this is okay, so uh, it's 55% off right now if you're looking to get it done.

Oh, Cyber Monday.

They've extended Cyber Monday.

Oh, my God.

Cyber Monday is going for two months now.

Holy shit.

The company that's going out of business that the entire board just all of a sudden quit on because they're doing something clearly disastrously immoral is having a sale.

Yeah, 55% off.

It's $49

right now for one of their sets.

But like,

it says, it's one of those,

that's the internet, like the evil companies that will not tell you how much something costs until you fill out like all the forms in the world.

And then by the time you're at the end, you're like, you know what?

I mean, I've signed, I signed up for this thing once.

I was having a crisis in my life where I felt insanely fat.

And I was like, okay, I'm going to get my shit together.

So I went on this website called Noom.

Oh, yeah.

Did you go there by accident because you forgot to finish the word new metal one time

it's not spelled that way first of all and it would be cool if i found out i was related to corn

the band

if you're related to the monkey i mean honestly i heard i think we all kind of we all kind of evolve from the monkey if you ask me

i would love to like i i sent chris recently a list of people that I really want on the show.

Yeah.

And the number one one was Violent J.

Violent J.

like i'm like hey you know who should be if you're gonna like look at getting a guest like reach out to someone who would be the people that you would really want to get like big name people if you had like your dream or whatever and he came back with violent j

sorry i have uh dreams okay

wait i just look at 23 and me yeah The first level is $49.

This is on sale.

The second level, $99, then $129, and then 499.

It says first year membership is basically a thousand dollars a year for, yeah, if you're not have a special.

What the fuck is that?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

I thought it was a one-off.

I thought you just said you're in, and you're like, what are they doing?

That's what subscribe.

Something that I found out.

So, something that I did find out is that it is kind of like a forum in a way.

So, your stuff is up there.

You can make it private.

But from what I could gather, your stuff is up there and people can look at it and then it makes connections.

So,

and like, apparently, they have these hints on it where they'll hint that you might be related to somebody and you have to pay money to find out if you're related to the person.

Oh, this is like evil.

This is like, yeah, the dating app shit is like, there's some people behind this fucking door who might want to kiss you once on the lips.

Frank Hitler.

No,

it says Hitler.

That would be great.

You're my ancestry.

And it's like, no, I'm actually the new Hitler.

So I did my ancestry, and I'm the new Hitler.

So I added everything that you can get to, Dave.

23 of me plus total health membership, 23 of me premium health membership, health and ancestry service, ancestry service.

Sub total, $1,585.

Oh my

$809.

Oh, well, I was worried at the beginning, but I didn't realize how much I saved.

It's quite a high number.

Your total is $776.

Okay.

You know what's funny about that?

Is that they have people give this out as a gift?

Like it's framed as like, give this to your grandma as a gift.

And then your grandma does, she's excited.

She's like, oh, I love finding out I'm Irish or whatever.

And she does it.

She's excited.

She goes on to the website.

And as I started to read more reviews, I started to notice there were a lot of like older people that are like, I didn't tell them to charge me, and they charged me $700.

And you're like, oh my God, this is the most, it was, it's one of the most evil.

And listen, we did Airbnb guys.

We hate them.

Yeah, but this is second to Airbnb.

Hey, grandma, I got a, I got a gift for you, grandma.

Do you want?

It costs $700 and it allows you to fumble around and try to to figure out how to make your password for two months and then get out

now.

You know, now you're on the street because it kept you

reappearing in charge every month.

This is really evil.

I'm glad they're like going under or whatever if this is the type of shit they're doing because this is like, yeah, this is that same type of shit.

It like reminds me of the people like we can talk to your loved one.

It's like one step away from, you know, we can talk to your dead loved ones or whatever.

I'm like a medium.

It's like, well, these, you know, we can't talk to them, but I can tell you who they are if you give me $700.

And like, I hate these people.

It also preys on your possible health issues.

So like, well,

Alzheimer's and all that shit.

Like,

you're coded for that.

Like, it's bad.

This is a bad company, man.

Yeah.

You don't even really, cause, because, like, you know, I didn't really realize how much it costs or anything like that.

And I was going on, oh, it's evil because they work with the police without your permission or whatever.

It's kind of like the ring ring cameras.

That's what I thought was evil.

Because

you see the box at a store and it says $49.99 and it's like, give it as a gift.

It's like, that's, I think, like, even if I go to the store and I buy the $49.99 kit and I do it and they try to upsell me, it's like, well, I kind of figured they were going to do that.

Everybody on the internet does that.

Like all the companies that you deal with, like,

I mean, we're dealing with

Shopify right now, and they're holding on to money that we made, and they're not letting us like pay our vendors or like sell anything.

And it's like you start to ask them why they don't even really tell you, so they're just like holding on to this money that you have to try to jump through hoops and figure out how to get your hands on it.

And that's what a lot of these companies are just like, sign up with us.

This is the fucking easiest shit in the world, you know, what I like.

That's what this is.

This is so easy.

You spit in a fucking tube and you mail it to us.

And then, you know, we'll get a hold of you.

And then, like, as you're filling out your, your login information, your registration information, it's like asking you questions about, oh,

it's almost like, what would you pay to do this?

And it only gives you really, I love, my favorite thing is when they have packages on a site.

And the most expensive one is highlighted and it says best value.

You go to the page.

Hey, look, the most expensive one's the best, obviously.

I mean, we go over giving you.

We do hope that those, uh, that the merch did get out for Christmas, but if it did not, you just found out why.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

This guy goes

that that holding on the money thing is such an old scam.

When I started in comedy, there was a guy who ran a bunch of like single rooms around the Bay Area, and you would go do his run, and then he wouldn't pay you for four months.

And after a while, I realized, oh, that guy just lives on money he doesn't have.

Yes.

He's not making any money.

And all he is, he's getting money from these people, these clubs, and then he pays his rent.

He does everything else.

And then four months later, he gets the money for the next gigs.

And so he's just living this, he's in this little zone.

Dave,

did you used to tread the boards?

I didn't know that.

Very, very cool.

Okay.

You know what?

We can all agree that the check drop was a nightmare.

Oh, the check drop.

Oh,

I could start.

I could write a book on the check drop.

I wrote a book on the check drop.

It didn't get picked up by anybody.

You know, you do hear, like, that's one of the things I've heard about like freelance work on online, like the people you know that write for websites.

Yeah.

And the people you, I've heard that, like, it's the same way with like TV and stuff is like, they, they're not in any rush to pay you.

And

when I started to fucking

like when I started to deal with this Shopify thing, it's like I'm in a rush to pay this guy.

I need because I don't want to be that person.

So you're just like, you're on with tech support and they're fucking telling you all kinds of stuff you don't know.

So we have to pay him too because he has to buy the shirts.

It's not even just a matter of being like that guy who's like, oh, we're holding up the fit.

It's like he has to buy the shirts to print them, you know?

So, yeah.

That's true.

So, yeah.

So, this guy goes sick of stupid mistakes and family trees try contacting the offenders it works what offender is a what just happened

so he said we've got your edges now yeah we have to you have to you have to be on it this guy goes i was so tired of family trees that would show my second great grandmother with the wrong name it was badly transcribed in exactly one document and i have 17 sources including her obituary and death certificate that say otherwise so last week i nicely shot a message to one of the people whose family tree kept coming up as a quote hint.

That's the hint thing on ancestry: is like, here's a hint.

This guy might be related to you.

And then I think you got to pay.

And he goes, I laid out the facts, asked if she would like more info, and then signed off.

It paid off.

Not only did she fix her tree and thank me, but six or seven other trees are now connected.

Correct.

Oh, fuck.

It's beautiful how that can happen.

Yeah.

Healing at nature is healing and you fix one tree and it spreads to the other trees.

I like this person.

I had someone tell me I was wrong on my tree about my great grandma who was still alive.

This lady kept saying my grandma didn't exist because her mom didn't recognize her name as one of her cousins from that line.

She very much existed.

I tried telling her and gave her my grandma's phone number, but she's 100% convinced I'm wrong.

Well, I mean, that, hey, listen, could be any lady, could be any lady on the other.

You're playing a game on me.

Oh, I've seen, you can hire a voice actor easily to do something like this.

I need a video of an older lady holding up a sign that says the date and saying, I don't know if that's a good idea.

But even that, you could just, it could be anybody.

I don't know how you could ever really prove this.

I guess with some sort of DNA test, perhaps.

Wait, isn't that what?

This person goes, it's definitely odd and hard to figure out the aim of some tree owners.

I had another family researcher ask me to look at his tree, which was a collaborative effort of he and his relatives.

Along with kudos, I mentioned that the parentage they showed for one person had been disproven.

His response, yes, we know, but if we change it, it will change a lot of other stuff in our tree, and we like it the way it is.

Yeah,

it tells a good story.

It tells a good story right now, right?

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, yeah, you obviously, we do cite the who cares defense quite a bit around here, and I think it's accurate.

Like, who really cares at the end of the day?

But this, there's some obvious genealogy purists out there who would hate to see something like this.

And it would say, like, oh, it messes up a bunch of stuff.

Well, yeah, then you fix it and make it right and act.

You spent a lot more time on this thing looking for fucking documents is what you need to do.

17 documents.

referring to my grandma's last name being spelled like this.

That's a crazy, like, you don't see that as a crazy thing to say.

It's crazy.

It honestly crazy.

It's, it's, it's, that's actually part of like, like, is it just misspelled on a document or is it misspelled?

Is it a physical document or do they misspell it on the site?

I think, yes, on the site, I believe they found a certain document where her name was spelled wrong.

Okay.

Then that, then that's history.

Like that's, that's the history of what happened.

Whatever she lived through that.

you know what i mean like it's a document in her name that and so that's actually a change that i don't don't think you'd go back and fix because that's what it is now.

Like it got fucked up.

It's part of the history of whatever is moving forward.

Well, this person goes, I'm still dealing with one lady that's pissing me the fuck off.

It's my second, my two-time great-grandfather's brother in St.

Louis.

I have on

ancestry, probably a 30-gallery image of documentations proving who he is.

This woman has one and it's from Find a Grave.

She has three different people rolled into one.

I contacted her and told her, and she said, I found the documentation on Find a Grave, and I am right.

If you need help with your own tree, feel free to contact me.

That's brutal.

And he goes,

What's worse is that I'm in contact with another person up here in Chicago who is a professional genealogist.

And the third family member she's got confused with is her great-great-grandfather.

She tried to correct her and got the same response.

And to top it off, there were about 20 lemmings following her her stupid wrong tree.

Several have taken the DNA test or a match of me.

I give up.

Oh,

she's got a following.

That's true.

That's good.

That is good.

So, there's a chance, there's a chance she could change her family.

Uh, hold on, I am so excited right now because

we could have stumbled across the greatest troll possibility on the internet.

Oh,

you can roll in and just start making shit up,

blowing this whole fucking thing up.

You can just start forging documents.

Like, is there any legal ramifications for doing it?

Do you know what I mean?

You're fucking everything up, basically.

You're just fucking everything up.

Yeah, there's no legal ramifications.

You just start forging old documents and like and producing them to say that, like, oh, actually, uh, no, that's not your mom.

That's Hitler, actually.

Yeah, your mom was your mom was Adolf Hitler?

This guy goes, I've encountered similar situations, someone making claims that are easily proven wrong who becomes self-righteous tyrants when anyone states otherwise.

I had no interest in.

It's the internet.

Yes.

She goes, or he, I can't tell.

I had no interest in crossing swords with them.

They're free to do it.

They're free to do as they wish.

Neither will I give in to their demand that I buy into their BS and alter my findings to comply with theirs.

And finally, the last person.

Wow.

This is the worst thing you can call somebody.

And he goes, Well, in my experience, you may rarely get a positive response from some of them.

But since the vast majority copied someone else's work to begin with, the error is simply taking on a life of its own.

There's so many genealogy as a passing fad.

The tree is created and lives on without any further input from the creator.

And then in parentheses, he says copyist.

Copyist.

Yeah, because people will copy other trees as like a quick way to get their tree done.

They want their tree done.

And generally, I think also, again, want to give it as a gift.

I always think that's what it's going.

And they can't get it done, you know, because it's a lot of work.

It's like tons and tons of work.

And like some of it involves waiting for people to get back to you and stuff like that.

So you're not in control of all of it.

So yeah, it could take a long, long time to do that.

Yeah, it's like one of those gifts where you're like, This is a great gift I'm going to give to someone, and then you're like, Oh, what the fuck have I done to myself here?

And then, yeah, and then you're just like, I'll just make up.

But I don't understand, I don't know that I understand this world fully and sort of what's going on.

And I know that I have decided that there's like I said before, there's two types to me, and one type is really sweet and wholesome, and the other type is really weird and annoying.

Yeah, yeah, there's normal people and not normal people.

i mean that's that's what this comes down to there's guys who just have are way too into this right that's the you know the classic guys thing is that like if you're one type of guy you're weird if you're several types of guy you're you're normal because normal people have interest in several things and they don't go fully in like trying Yeah, you got to have the other interest.

If you lose the other interest and you become singularly focused on anything, no matter what it is in this world, it will turn you into a weird person.

So, you guys are saying you have more than one interest.

Like, if you're into fantasy football, you also should have like a cream pie room or your guy's wife upstairs.

Yeah, I mean, that's you shouldn't have a cream pie.

You take this one, Brian's.

Well, I could, well, hang on, hang on, I'll take the first one.

I played some fantasy football, Brian.

You take this cream pie.

You take the second.

Who did the cream pie, Chris?

Well, listen, I did the cream pie.

Well, listen, I got a son, so

is that how you and Ariel got together?

Stop it.

Stop it.

You guys were doing fantasy football and cream pie?

No, absolutely not.

This show's a clean show, Chris.

This is a,

yeah, listen, Dave, sorry that we didn't.

I know before Dave was really hoping to get into some swinger stuff.

We didn't.

Sorry, we didn't talk about it.

I really expected to.

I expected to.

I thought we were going to, I thought, thought because i've when i listen to this show there's often some creepy there was no creepy

it was really really normal this time and i'm not really sure why do you want to do you want to talk a little bit about brian uh having sex with this guy's girlfriend while he waited outside uh and sort of that's what kind of got brian into the lifestyle from an early

first of all was not in a lifestyle he wasn't waiting outside he was getting held back trying to get into the room he was being held by my brother.

Yeah, who is

from Porno Sean?

And Porno Sean was there.

And if Porno Sean's holding you back, you're not going to be.

He's the toughest guy I knew.

Toughest guy in town.

It sounds

tough as a road.

But yeah.

Dave, what city do you live in?

I live in Glendale, California, basically.

Brian, what's the closest?

club, lifestyle club to him?

I don't think there is an LA one.

Yeah, it's really weird actually it's come on you know i swear to you it's not like it's a big thing in in los angeles california it's there's a rich people one there's those weird rich people things where the guy is like i'm a sex guru you can pay me five hundred thousand dollars and i'll tell you how to breathe so you don't come too fast or something yeah there's no sleazy like

There's none of the, because the stuff we usually look at is sleazy and gross.

I don't think that style of club would exist in LA just because it's gross.

And

there's a lot of gross stuff in L.A.

There is.

But yeah, but yeah, I think it is where I don't think we found one at least.

It's like Tom and Bunny, our friends haven't never gone to that one in L.A., I don't think.

Well, that's because they're Trump people.

But maybe in the Valley, maybe in the Valley.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Orange County.

I mean, yeah, there's got to be.

I mean, people are out there Singing and Finging, no doubt about it and engaged in the lifestyle and stuff.

I wonder if they're just, there's so many of those big mansions out there, too.

Maybe they're just all doing it, you know, home games.

There's definitely a ton of sex parties that I've heard of, but they're all, a lot of them are like Hollywood, you know.

Yeah, well, I mean, I've heard of some of them in the news, too, and they sound like they're not so good, to be honest.

I found it.

I found it.

It's weird, though.

It's called Club Joy, and it's spelled J-O-I.

Jack Off Instructional?

That's what it says.

Jack Off.

Their site's really nice.

I'll show you guys real quick before we get out of here.

You You know, I learned about the pineapples because of you guys.

Yeah,

I we've been spreading that around.

It's it's uh, it's good, I guess.

It's good that people.

No, it's not.

I had, I'm gonna go to my mailbox after this.

There's gonna be 17 pineapple things in, yeah.

People do send buying a lot of stuff with pineapples on it.

Yeah, but I like the Santa Claus hat on.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Does it have anything specific rules or anything like that?

Well, we know the rules.

I don't think we have to.

let me look i'll find it a membership is there a single guy

couple oh yeah yeah yeah are you married are you married yeah i'm married with a kid yeah married with a kid okay that's lucky in the lifestyle though they hate single guys um yeah they don't even have a single guy you're probably not allowed if you are yeah you can't even sign up for it it says couple or lady recurring monthly couple or lady three months so yeah single guys are just they don't even want to that's the the way we like it.

Yeah, don't even mention them.

Don't even make them feel like they exist.

Even if they come onto the site and it says like single guys not allowed, they're like, oh, they

mentioned us.

Yeah, you know, it's like, don't even give them the fucking.

Oh, here it is.

Yeah, yeah.

New partner, you'll need to start with a new application.

Membership is non-transfundable.

Transferable.

Single ladies' interest is always free with current membership.

Create the free profile.

If approved, you'll receive further instructions.

No membership for single gentlemen available at this time.

At this time.

And this time is ever.

I don't know why they don't have a pin for them, a pen for them.

Like they do.

And some of the clubs, they have a separate bar for single guys to kind of sit in.

Yeah, it's a pen.

And then a couple can go into the room and be like.

They're like, pick me, pick me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God.

They come over, like, scurry over like little rats over to you.

Like, you got a block of cheese.

You got to like, even to get one, there'll be a bunch of other ones that'll hang on to his legs and arms and stuff and so when you try to pull him out they'll try to like get out with him so you gotta like shake them all off so you can only get one i would i would say the funniest thing we found out was there was that swingers club that tom and bunny toured which on the patreon you can watch all the club tours and i think they're all marked club tour uh there was the one they went to where, first of all, you were allowed to be naked through the whole place.

Cool.

That's a very cool part of it.

Yeah, but there was the one where if you're a single guy, a couple can come and grab you from the

single guy pen,

and then they'll take you into the playroom.

But when the couple leaves the playroom, you got to shoot the single guy out of the playroom.

Like they'll come and make him leave.

They have a security guard for it specifically

because they kind of hide in the shadow or whatever.

They're like, nice try, buddy.

They always wear all black.

All right, sure.

I'm going to need you to put your dick away.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We do have a single guy hack, though.

Is it's bring a picture of a woman and say your wife died and she really wants you to

have a lifestyle.

You're crying in the morning, but you still are technically a single guy.

I also have the one, like, you know, you're on your phone in the lineup.

You're like, honey, yeah, I'll be home soon.

You know what I mean?

Like, pretending like you had a life at home.

All right.

That is genealogy, guys.

Dave, you got anything to plug?

Tell people where to find you?

Oh, yeah, just the dollop podcast and the pastimes podcast.

That's that's all I got going on.

I love the dollop.

And I'm telling Dave before we started the show that me and my wife listen to like 10 episodes in a row when we travel.

Like anytime we're in the car driving, it's great.

Stephen Seagal one was so good.

Still, my favorites.

The Seagals are my favorites.

Yeah, those are great.

We'll be back next week with Rat Pat guys.

No, we're not talking about Frank Sinatra.

We're talking about Tony Bishop and guys that want to be like Tony Bishop.

Oh,

and we're talking about guys that are too into the Rat Pack.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know a guy like that.

Oh, I know a guy who

set up his man cave.

This guy doesn't do anything like he smokes and drinks, but not in some fancy style.

But he has pictures of the rat pack all over the room.

I'm like, what?

All right, we'll see you next week.

All right, thanks, guys.

Bye.