Guys: Episode 101 - Morning Radio Guys With Josh Gondleman

Welcome to guys, a podcast about guys.

I'm Brian, your host, and I have with me my stunt boy, Chris James.

Hi, Chris.

You almost said hi, stunt boy, but then you just immediately abandoned the nickname.

I kind of felt bad about calling you a stunt boy because I'm calling myself a stunt boy.

I think I went for, because I did a morning zoo radio show with

our friends from YKS.

Remember, I listened to the whole thing?

Yeah, Jesse.

It's called Good Morning, Good Morning with Jesse and Mike.

Okay, no plug.

It's not a plug.

It's actually not available anywhere because Stitcher Premium does not exist.

And therefore,

you actually can't access that.

So I'm not plugging it at all.

I actually went by Shipboy.

I went by shipboy, and I was like the stunt boy of it.

And so I have no problem with that, being that sort of character, you know.

And our guest

is Josh Gondelman.

Hi, Josh.

Hey, thanks for having me.

I love that we've already gone to like the opposite ends of the earth on this with 1 million fart sound effects and then a plug for something that is so underground it doesn't exist anymore.

You can't actually get a sorry.

People have asked me, actually, fuck, that reminds me.

Someone sent me an email, and I am supposed to send them the raw files because I have them still.

What are you going to do with them?

What do you mean?

Well, DB talked about it.

And anyway, I don't want to get into it.

We're going to put them out somewhere, maybe, to some for something.

I think it's pretty fun.

It's like, yeah, we had like Longmont Potion Castle.

We had Carl Tart on.

Yeah, we had all kinds of fun people on there.

It was really fun.

Yeah.

Anyways, enough of these plugs.

But that's

that's kind of normal for the episode that we're doing here today.

Plugs, you know, this is

yeah.

Well, we're talking about morning radio, guys.

Now, me and Chris have an intimate knowledge of a lot of radio people.

Like, we, we, we've we've done was it six episodes about sports talk radio.

Yeah, we did March Madness.

Yeah, we've done like 20 episodes or 30, maybe even I think it's like over 20 episodes of Shocktober now, where we talk about shock docks.

And this one is,

this one is like something I'm not, I'm not totally familiar with.

And it's, I've kind of got a hodgepodge of prep for this thing because I did want to talk about fans of this stuff, which you would believe don't exist anymore.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, like to me, I don't know that they, yeah, there, maybe there was a time they existed, I guess, like Opie and Anthony.

Like, yeah.

But yeah, it really does feel like it's just something that's on in the car for people and it doesn't have that same significance.

Like, podcasts, now

that feels a bit self-congratulatory.

Well, we all get the real juicy, yeah, I guess the real

personally, that's the way I feel about it.

Like, I'm a fan of a podcast versus a radio show.

I think that it must so much must have migrated over there.

And the people with

the people who still listen to like true morning radio are the people that are like, Why can't I get that thing that plugs the uh cassette into my car cassette player anymore and lets me listen to my disc man.

Yeah.

It's weird, too, because like they haven't adjusted at all to the new world from what I'm seeing.

Cause like they all do release their shows as a podcast, which I guess is smart.

But like, then what, I mean, like,

you should change because podcasts don't lend themselves to the kind of I'll read this guy.

This guy, Prospector, right?

He's in.

I've heard of the Prospector before?

I believe

Processor.

Processor.

Processor is on Rock 107, and I think that is in

Arizona,

Phoenix.

And I'm going to read, we're going to read a lot of these guys' bios, right?

And this is about me.

Born in Scranton, PA, where I still live with my wonderful.

Oh, this is Pennsylvania.

I fucked that up.

Oh, I thought that was a good idea.

Yeah, it's going to say Pennsylvania, but we don't know where.

No, he said he still lives.

He said he still lives there because unless he's taking a long commute to Arizona, then we have absolutely a flub from Brian there, a really unforgivable one to mix up the fucking hometown of Prospector.

I was trying to let him off the hook, but yikes, this is, I'm thinking,

this is not really cool.

Because like Prospector, how long has Prospector been around, Brian?

It does not say, but I think he, like, I want to show you the

first broadcast was 1849.

It sounds like it, right?

This is his.

So there's no real pictures of him.

And by the way, I'm getting advertised Transformers because we did action figure guys a couple of weeks ago.

I'm not a Transformers guy.

Okay.

I have to explain that to Josh because I was embarrassed as soon as I saw Optimus Prime.

Mine are all

sneakers and sweaters.

That's a messy.

And then I'm that guy.

Brian, you're behind you on your

camera is a bunch of Lego, though.

So I don't know.

I feel so bad.

This comes out in like January, but like a few weeks ago or in December, November, late November, somebody asked me,

somebody was like first-time chatter on the Twitch stream.

I was like, Brian, do you like Legos?

And I just was like, yo, the fucking, come on, man.

We don't need to talk about the Legos.

And Chris was like.

He's a first-time chatter.

He may have never been here before.

Yeah, give him a chat.

Talk to him about Legos.

And in your defense, Brian, I was actively trying to derail the stream

and force you into having a really tedious conversation about Lego with somebody.

But yeah, you were quite rude to him.

I think it's because a lot of the time people, you know, when they bring up Lego, they are

doing it to make fun of you.

I am most of the time.

There's no real pictures of Prospector on the site.

That's how you know he's fucking really hot.

But they're also known for his voice not for his looks that's old school that's old school in the in back in the day it was like this was a voice that you heard it wasn't until the grease man came around in the mid 80s and he was so physically attractive that he had to showcase his his looks but before that it was like yeah you just you knew them as a voice chris also found man cow attractive uh so he said man cow had a hot phase He's not overall attractive.

I said we saw him in his hottest phase when we watched the DVD.

That's all.

He was kissing those ladies well he'll be on a patreon uh uh it's already on there yeah you gotta find that he's kissing some ladies he's making out we we discovered yeah man how he's pretty much the whole time he's doing his show he's sort of making out with ladies who are just kind of hanging around in the studio with them babes you know like he's doing josh he's doing radio like he is like on mic and he is not even talking about babes no

no he's like talking about the news and the news of the day and stuff He's doing regular kind of radio shock talk stuff, but he's just sort of in between words, he's making out with babes, like not in songs, he's just like kind of like getting a quick makeout in and going back to yeah, like Bob Euchre, you know, the Norm McDonald Bob Euchre story.

Yeah, it's insane.

It's so crazy to see.

It is one of the

crazier things because we've never seen Man Cow in his morning madhouse faith.

This was our first time, and he's

edgy.

I'll say

a little bit.

Yeah, I know a little bit about him.

Yeah, you never went on his show, though.

You never went on.

He's never done his show.

Is he Chicago-based?

He's a Chicago guy, but I think he would have probably been like, he would have been on radio before you were really touring.

I think.

In my mind, if I'm doing the timelines, I'm not really sure how long, but yeah, we're going to get into that, though, because Josh, thankfully, he has done some touring as a stand-up comedian, which is obviously

one you were on.

but but yeah, that's going to be the idea because Josh has done a lot of these morning radio shows.

That's a huge.

I think I have one that you may have been on.

Oh, interesting.

Maybe.

I don't know it because I didn't search it, but it's a channel.

I'll just say, have you been, you've done Chicago, right?

I've done Chicago.

Have you been on The Fred show?

I don't think so.

I've done, there's one, gosh, I feel so bad blanking on his name because when I go through Chicago, I usually do morning TV, which is like very, it's like kind of the opposite of morning radio because it's so buttoned down.

And so like, this is for like friendly people watching the TV at 11 a.m.

And uh, and then I do like late morning, early afternoon.

And there's a dude who's so nice in Chicago who's old, he's old friends with Jimmy Pardo and his name escapes me right now.

And he's just like, is so good to comics.

And when I did that, I was like, oh, there's guys like this.

Like, it's not just all the guys that are like, so, uh, how many fingers you could think you could fit up there?

You're just like pointing at random crevices or whatever.

Yeah, how many guys are,

yeah, how many?

How many could you think you could, though?

Yeah,

or guys that get a little mouse hole in the how many fingers you think you get in that mouse hole

because we've talked to a lot of comics that have done radio about how sometimes you show up and the DJ's jealous of you for being

sandbags you for the rest of the interview yeah I've had it both ways too where there's like a little there's like a little they're kind of trying to big time you and then other times where they actually big time you and like truly don't care about what you're doing at all it is like a wild genre I'm I'm remembering something and you got to correct me if I'm wrong here because I remember

I've known you just from online and stuff, Josh.

Yeah, likewise.

I think you're a very funny guy.

And I remember

I

started to know you online, I was like, where do I recognize the name from?

And it was from a show that I had seen a long time ago.

And it was, Brian, get ready for this.

Wait, I think I know what you're going to say.

Oh, you know, it was Scorch.

Hell yeah, it was Scorch.

Scorch!

Kingdom of nakedness.

I scared the militia of.

Yeah, that

is absolutely the naked militia.

Yeah, that is a wild.

You did scorches for anyone who an old ONA a fans and just like people who are fans of really wild sort of morning radio guys that is like a crazy public access show yeah

how did you i do know how did you end up getting getting on scorch i just i wish i remembered who i wish i remember who like brought me in on it i truly knew nothing about it the other thing too

what you have to what people listeners have to realize and i think they probably do is when you're like oh this guy named scorch has a public access show, you're like, Okay, sounds above record.

Yeah, yeah, and you're also like, I mean, I would go and do it a million times.

I mean, sure, people do it now, even knowing them, but like, yes, that would be the kind of thing I would want to go do, sure.

And I just did like a regular stand-up set, it was probably 15 years ago, and uh, like, I still like ONA fans will bring it up to me every once in a while.

They'll be like,

But I like that, it was like me, and then the other guest was like a very sick child.

Oh, yeah.

I remember that.

I remember the Opie and Anthony listening to

crazy.

What a crazy.

That is, that is absolutely wild.

And yeah, and there was not really an was there like, what type of a studio audience did he have?

Because they always talked about on ONA about how there was nobody there.

It was, it was like a little audience, but it, I, I was not shocked by how, you know, I wasn't

getting into situations where I'm like, oh, there's nobody here.

And this, I was like, okay, there are a few people here.

But I was also like, I'm so used to doing at that point in my career, especially gigs where there just weren't people that I'm sure

if there had been like 15 people, I would have been like, sick.

Well, probably.

There was a couple of Scorch heads out there for sure.

Yeah, I just, that is, that is wild too.

Scorch is, I believe Scorch is still doing morning radio

to this day as well.

Manch Vegas.

Yeah, Manchester.

Because he still, I thought he had moved away for some reason.

Oh, maybe he did.

I think he might have gone back, but somebody, yeah, maybe the listener could fill us in on if Scorch is still going.

I think he is.

Last I checked, he was still doing a morning radio show.

Well, it's so funny that I was on because I, it is the only time I think about it too is when OP and Anthony fans, you know, will be will want to like rip on me, or sometimes people just be like, oh, that was that you on Scorch?

And yeah, I don't know, man.

It's it's like a pretty funny coincidence that that was like an episode that they really laid into.

That's funny

because it's more people

like more people.

You did this thing that probably, you know, no, not very many people watch.

100 people maybe total.

Yeah.

And then these guys that had a larger audience played you, a larger engaged audience, too, because that's something we always talk about with radio is that like the audience, there's like five shows where the audiences are engaged with the show.

You know what I mean?

Yes, yes, yes.

Most shows are just like, this is the guy that's on when I get up and he's on the radio station that plays the Metallica songs I like.

that's like the whole thing, you know.

I always thought that you didn't, I thought that you weren't like really made fun of that much.

Maybe I'm remembering it wrong.

I mean, I guess that's probably just

no, they made fun of scorch.

I never heard that you were on scorch, like the fact that you were on scorch, they probably like felt the need to like probably like slag you off a little bit, but it was definitely focused.

The focus was on scorching, and I definitely, when I listened to it, I didn't even before I knew you or anything like that, I definitely felt like

this poor guy, you know?

Yeah, that's how they framed it more than anything, was like, they felt bad.

Yeah.

It was a pretty wild.

Yeah.

And it was like, truly, I was like,

it's one of those things where you're just like, I don't know what this is.

I'm going to show up.

I'll like be pleasant and do my job and then go home.

And then it like years later, I was like, oh, this became a thing.

Yeah, now you're on a podcast and we're talking about

2024, almost 2025.

It's such a hilarious, especially because I bet some of the people that have

or that heard that on ONA are like completely unaware of anything I've ever done before or since.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're the scorched guy, yeah.

Well, uh, Prospector says, Luckily, I never moved on to serious property crimes or other offenses when I was 13.

Rock 107 signed on the air, signed on the air.

My friends, I became obsessed.

We would constantly bother the DJs to play us songs by AC DC or Iron Maiden.

My, how the tables have turned.

Rock 107 rang.

Just stop playing ACTC.

I think he's saying now I'm the one that plays the songs.

But anybody in the whole world that knows even the smallest bit about radio knows that he's not picking the song.

Right.

Like, that's the one thing they we all know, even the people that are just kind of popping in is like, these guys don't pick the songs.

Because if these guys pick the songs, they might play a different song like sometimes, you know, like we'll read some.

I found out that people people review radio stations on Yelp.

That rules.

It's crazy, but we will look into some of those.

So he goes, Rock 107 ran a daring DJ contest.

Now, this is going to tell you why we don't see a picture of him.

Rock 107 ran a, quote, daring DJ contest in the summer of 1982.

The idea was...

That's okay.

So he's a bit of an older gentleman, you think?

Be a bit of an older gentleman.

That is kind of cool how they'll, sorry, if they'll have contests like that for people to come on the radio josh please continue i was just going to say the caricature like the little kind of new yorker wall street journal style sketch of him on the website i would say looks he has kind of a rfk junior vibe to it yeah he is yeah he doesn't look he he he it looks like yeah he's got blonde hair weird like really blonde hair which i bet is gray i think it might have gone gray i think it might have gone gray at this point if you started in 19 early 1980s.

But it is, I just wanted to just get back to that.

It is kind of cool how they'll allow people to come on, just a regular person come on and host a radio program.

I think it can make for some pretty cool radio.

What do you think about it?

What do you think about that, Brian?

Brian, Brian hosted.

It never happened.

Brian,

he went on the radio

when he was younger.

And he, well, let's just say he was also a cable guy.

And And the cool thing about him, though, is most cable guys that show up late.

He actually would show up early, right, Brian?

I try.

Yeah, he said the line.

That was his first ever line on the radio, him trying to sound cool and her being like, I heard you show up early.

And he's like, I try.

It was, yeah, we listened to it at the first ever live show.

It was really a lot of fun.

It's what made me want to do

podcasting, which is crazy.

If you heard it, it's wild that that,

like, it's wild to think that.

Well, he goes, when I'm not on the air, I can be found watching my beloved Los Angeles Rams, New York Yankees, or New York Rangers on TV.

It was

a strange taste.

I don't know about that.

I don't know that you can do that.

I don't know.

You can cheer for an LA and a New York team, you know,

and live in Pennsylvania.

Yeah,

where is that coming from?

Like,

be born in Pennsylvania.

I was going to say, because even like the Rams were in St.

Louis.

St.

Louis, yeah.

But that's a theory.

Okay.

What's your theory, Brian?

A lot of radio guys like a team that they're not supposed to like because it generates content.

I know

you can call in and be a little bit outraged about their love for it.

I have another theory.

LA and New York are the two biggest radio markets

trying to create favor with some of the executives in those cities.

Let's meet another show.

This show has come up often on our show,

but we don't know anything about them.

Chris, you're going to love this.

The Free Beer and Hot Wings show

is a radio show out of, I believe, Virginia.

I've never, what do you mean it comes up often?

We've talked about how there is a show called Free Beer and Hot Wings.

Oh, we've just made it.

And we just kind of say it because that's crazy that there's a name of a show called Free Beer and Hot Wings.

And so I have some stuff from Free Beer and Hot Wings.

I'm going to give you a little picture.

Where is it based out of?

I believe this is a Virginia show, but it's syndicated.

I believe that this is like.

It's syndicated all over the country.

These shows are like kind of

hard.

But it's not that hard.

I mean, it's your whole job is just to get this information.

I doubt it.

I don't think so.

So this is Free Beer and Hot Wings.

Yeah.

Should one of the listeners look up where they're based out of it all.

It's Virginia, man.

Sorry.

Grand Rapids, Michigan.

I'm sorry.

I was wrong.

Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Okay.

No worries.

Grand Rapids, Michigan.

It doesn't really matter, but you know.

Where did the name come from?

Instead of calling the show the Greg and Chris Show, which by all estimations would have been the most boring-sounding radio show in the world.

Wow.

Listen,

I think he's right.

What about me and Opie doing a show, though, the Greg and chris show

it is spelled opie style it's g-r-e-g-g wow and is chris chris

ch-h-r-i-s i don't know man i kind of like the sound of that that kind of sounds like some good radio to me when i was growing i grew up just outside boston and i believe opie and anthony were based there like i know they were syndicated

at a time they were yeah they got fired from the radio station in boston because on april fool's day their the prank they did was they were just like, everybody, maybe it wasn't even April Fool's Day.

They're like, the mayor is dead.

The mayor died.

Yeah, that's one of their played it.

Yeah, that's a, that's a good idea.

They've been fired a few times.

The sex in the church, Sex or Sam, where they people were having sex in public and people had sex in a church.

That got them fired.

But yeah, that was a very famous one.

The mayor is dead.

Yeah.

Pretty good prank, in my opinion.

It's like such a cold-blooded prank.

Yeah, it's a really cold-blooded prank.

It's kind of, I don't know how the, what kind of, how was the mayor though?

Is he just like a normal guy?

He was kind of beloved.

He was this guy, Tom Megino, who

he was just like such a character.

He was like a pretty good mayor, I guess.

Like, I don't, you know, I can't vouch for his politics writ large.

He passed away probably 10 years ago.

But he was like pretty beloved by people.

He was

a pretty hated figure.

Yes.

No, no, no.

He was not like a reviled guy.

He was like a goofball.

He would always say people's names wrong.

Like he, during the late 90s home run chase he i think said like mike maguire and sam suzer like just like

words right people loved it um so they were just like the mayor is dead and that was like i listened to it and it's really bad like all they had to do is say we're just around yeah and they probably wouldn't have been in trouble uh but the actual radio sucks i didn't i don't think i've ever played it on shocktober because i listened to it and was like

whatever you know what i mean like it was them they would play a pearl Jam song and then they'd come back and be like, add a detail to it.

And,

you know, it's weird because they said they knew they were fired when CNN picked it up.

Well, here's a little bit about the host here, Greg Free Beer Daniels is his name.

He was one of the founding members of the show since its inception in March of 1997.

Free Beer sets most of the bits up for the show.

Free Beer is known for many verbal screw-ups, a vast sports knowledge, and occasionally laughing like Ricky Ricardo from old episodes of I Love Lucy.

So this guy's a, he's a flubber.

He is.

Free beer flubs.

Sometimes,

not surprising.

You know what I mean?

The guy's probably, in my opinion, from the based on his name, I'm going to guess that this guy may be half in the bag when he's recording some of these, you know, broadcasts.

Well, free beer.

In 1997, the show started.

So this is one of the newer morning radio institutions.

You're right.

It is.

It is.

This is like some young dudes

doing their work on the block.

And all the other, the guy, like Prospectors, like,

see kids, you know, and they're like 58 years old.

Hot Wings, the other founding member of the show, grew up in Detroit area doing unathletic things with his friends, such as riding bikes, playing Army and Swamps.

These guys write these themselves.

That's why I wanted to read them because it is.

There's something so great about seeing the brand through their eye, their brand through their their eyes like what what they think the audience sees when they hear hot wings talk yeah this is the kind of guy that they believe that the audience envisions when he's telling his stories is this guy who's like and by the way it's pretty athletic to ride bikes but i don't know if he's making a joke there it really is hard to tell sort of which angle he's trying to even joke from but but yeah the i don't know man i don't know it's hard i think if your name's hot wings i think it's hard to like

be like a respectable guy or whatever in society.

And I think at this point, you got to go by, you know, your Christian name.

Chris Michaels?

Yeah, Chris Michaels or whatever.

That's weird because that's my friend's name.

So that fucks me up.

They call each other Free Beer and Hotwings, by the way.

On the radio?

Yeah.

Yeah.

He'll be like, hey, Free Beer.

I was going to ask.

So

that's the names they actually are going by.

So do you think somebody would see them out at the grocery store and they're a fan and they'd say, hey, Hot Wings.

Yeah, for sure.

Unless they're trying to rattle him the way people do with like,

oh, gosh, who is it?

The wrestler that people always call Brian would know Brian would check him up.

Brian.

It's someone who's so obvious.

Their real name.

Was it the under the taker?

Take?

No, I actually do not know.

Hotwings hates a great many things.

Now we're going to get into some stuff.

oh hell yeah including but not limited to geese which he has referred to as the terrorists of birds wait what what he hates geese yeah canada geese well probably well they are in grand rapids michigan so they might see some can might be talking about canada geese because they are the the aggressive ones i got them i mean i i encounter them every single day they are i live on the river i see them

they are they are a little bit aggressive but honestly you just gotta you gotta know how to like live with them and just kind of respect their space and stuff And then, do you agree with Hot Wings?

You and Hot Wings should do a bit together about it.

Do I agree with Hot Wings?

Yeah, that they're terrorists.

Yeah, no, I would, I think me and Hot Wings might, we wouldn't see eye to eye on this.

We might have a little bit of friendly back and forth on this.

Hey, this could be the whole, this could be the whole first hour of the show.

Save it for the show.

Have the colleagues call in and say whether you think geese are terrorists.

Yes, are geese terrorists?

We want to hear from you.

Of course, we, you know, Chrissy over here doesn't think that they are, but Hot Wings is of the mind that, and then, and then just every now and then, like, this guy Hot Wings doesn't know what he's talking about, you know?

I need a cool name.

Can you guys give me a name?

Naked Lady.

Chris Naked Lady James.

It's so I do it with free beer and Hot Wings.

Yeah.

Okay, so I'm Naked Lady.

I do feel like it's misleading.

Well, so it's Hot Wings.

Yeah, he doesn't.

He's not a Hot Wings.

He's good.

If you hear someone's name, how about Naked Ladies?

That's good.

Okay, that's good.

That's better because there's no sort of like, you know, thought that I myself am a naked lady, you know?

I think that's right.

Yeah.

Naked ladies.

Hot wings in his name, Goose Wings.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But not let.

So the next thing, this is a crazy one, guys.

Prepare.

People who don't put their shopping carts away.

That's what he hates that.

That?

He hates that.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

That's, that's so annoying.

Honestly,

like,

they have they have a system where they'll put a little loony in there, but I'll tell you what, you can just buy a little thing on uh Amazon.

This is a little tip for everyone: buy a little thing on Amazon, it's a little a plastic little thing that you can stick in the grocery yard, and then you can just get it for free, and then you can leave it wherever the fuck you want.

That's what I do, I just leave it.

I'm like, I don't need that fucking quarter.

Do you know what I do?

I go to Walmart, it's a dollar at Walmart in Canada.

Um, but I'll go there and I'll say, Oh, excuse me, uh, sir, I first seem to have forgotten a loony today.

That's That's what they're called here.

Uh, and, and then the guy will do it for me.

He has one of those things.

Yeah.

Little does he know I'm doing that so I can fucking leave it wherever I want.

You're evil.

Hot wings.

You and Hot Wings are going to hate each other.

You could be

the loony on the show.

No, I put, I, yeah, I could go by the loony.

I, I do put, I, just to be, just to be clear, I do put them back.

I do put them back.

He hates people who put bumper stickers on cars.

He also believes that the number of

weird ones.

that's like kind of a radio thing i know i know hey hey we don't want no bumper stickers out there i guess they don't have they don't have them maybe but like normally that's a famously a thing that radio shows have is bumper stickers it's helpful for the radio show i think uh

people he goes uh

he goes he believes that the number of stickers on someone's car is directly proportional to how bad the driver is he's oddly knowledgeable about trees which is something he picked up from like that

who wears black socks and dress shoes with sort shorts and that's tendency to singe his hair around gas grills hot wings believes he can tell time just by looking at the sun he likes home improvement knows just enough to be a pain in his own ass taking on product projects that seem easy but end up taking him weeks to complete Okay, yeah, no, I've, I think we all know a guy like Hotwings.

Well, here's the last, here's what like, these descriptions, and I don't want to, you know, I don't know anything bad about these guys, except for these bios are like descriptions of the normalest guys I've ever heard of.

Like the bio could just be like, picture like some guy.

Yep.

Just a guy.

He lives in like the Midwest or whatever, you know, just a guy, or he lives in like Canada or just a guy you know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, the last part, he goes, Hot Wings is divorced and anxiously awaits a hot, wealthy woman to come along and provide him with really good pizzas with a garage full of cool cars.

Wait, he wants pizzas?

What is

it?

He doesn't want Hot Wings.

He could have been pizza.

He could go buy pizzas.

Maybe, though, in his defense, I feel like when your name is Hot Wings, you might get sort of like, people are always getting you Hot Wings and every time.

So you might get sick of them after a while.

And it might be nice to have a pizza every time.

Hot Wings also has two sons who are awesome, but still young enough that he could take them in a fight if he needed to.

Okay, so he is, he can do child.

He's like, I can chew child abuse and I'm divorced.

Hey, my name's Hot Wings.

Unrelated facts, but they're all in there.

Yeah, I could kick the shit out of my kids and I'm divorced.

i'm hot wings

i love hot wings man he s well uh he sounds yeah like a very normal divorced guy yeah so normal and that that's like no i don't mean that even as an insult it's just like there is no need for a bio when the facts are like uh I like watching a good movie, but not a bad one, but sometimes a bad one.

When I'm hungry, I'll head to the restaurant, get myself some food.

I can tolerate a little clutter, but if things get really messy, I'll tidy up before company comes.

Oh,

absolutely.

Well, here's some free beer and hot wings.

We're going to listen to it.

Who's this on screen?

I believe this is free beer.

He's an nerd.

What the hell?

I didn't expect him to be a nerd.

You know what I mean?

Like, I was expecting this guy's name is Free Beer.

I was expecting him to be this absolute party animal looking guy.

Like, he kind of looks like the caricature of Prospector.

He's got a giant head.

Yeah.

She's She's got a Prospector look.

So I have a girl that I have

forehead too.

So I can say that, but this guy's got a giant one.

He's also got a radio voice.

I had a crush on all through school that was a good friend.

I was

and I did not believe that I would ever get out, but I wanted to get out.

Okay, so he's in the friend zone.

I'm sorry,

I clicked a button.

He said, I was in the friend zone.

I couldn't get out, but I thought I could get out.

Oh, that's

a nightmare for every man.

Every man hates to be in the friend zone.

And are we seeing Hot Wings?

That's Hot Wings.

Hot Wings is not disappointing with his look.

He does look the way he's pretty anti-he looks like Hot Wings.

You know, he looks like a cool dude who, you know, would do drugs with you.

If you pulled drugs out, he would be like, I'll try some of those drugs.

He wouldn't even ask what they are or whatever.

You know, I'm looking for a nice lady that'll put me in the cow zone.

You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to bed and I hear my mom talking to somebody downstairs.

I am nude in my room and then I hear the door opening and it's her.

I'm like, what?

And she goes, I told your mom that I wanted to come up and wake you up because she said you were in bed.

I'm like, why would my mom let that happen?

Doesn't she know what I do in here?

She checks behind the mattress.

Good lord.

He's an old man.

Is he telling an old story?

Yeah, he's telling an old story.

Now we're about to get.

He is.

We're about to get to a legendary riff here in a minute.

And that's why I wanted to play this.

So this is a famous, like it's a famous one, or just well, this is this is one they posted,

and I feel the riff is pretty nuts.

Okay,

so then we go, and we're hanging out outside.

Are you still naked?

No, I got dressed, you jackass.

I mean, you lived in a rural area, so you're not sure about that.

Here we go.

This is the riff.

Put your overalls on.

Was it washing day for ma?

Yeah, I had to go get my clothes off the clothesline in the backyard.

Where's my spare gunny sack?

Some of them were still on the beaten rock for getting them clean in the stream that went by in the back.

He knows it's not a good one.

He knows it's not as strong a riff, and that's why he's getting kind of up in the

beaten rock.

And you also, you can feel him be a little defensive too, much like me when Scorch is brought up.

We're like trying to have a good time, but I'm like, oh, somewhere deep down inside, there's something about this I haven't addressed.

Oh, yeah.

I didn't mean to do that.

I wasn't.

No, no, no.

You didn't.

I think truly not defensive.

That I'm, it is fun to talk about it, but I'm like, oh, those guys are really mean to me online sometimes.

Oh, no.

Trust me, I know.

People are quite often mean to me online as well.

I experience it.

But yeah, this, I think you're right about this guy being a bit defensive too.

Like he's kind of making the jokes with them, but he's kind of like, like, haha, yeah, yeah, that's right.

But because also,

I don't know, that stuff seems kind of reasonable for, like, it doesn't seem like over the top, like, if you're in a rural setting.

People use clotheslines everywhere.

People use clotheslines.

Right.

Yeah.

Like, you rube drying your clothes of the air instead of using electricity.

And it's like, well,

I mean, I hang dry.

I hang dry some things, of course.

I hang dry almost all my shirts.

Yeah.

And my pants.

I mean, I just washed some jackets and I obviously hung dry the jackets, you know.

The only thing I really dry is my shorts because it's like it was a rain jacket.

I'm what I'm gonna dry a rain jacket, it literally gets wet every single day and hang dries itself.

You're a hillbilly, here's some more riffing, here's some more riffing backyard on the crick, the crick, yeah, it was a crick, and also that was my beaten rock when we weren't doing laundry there.

But anyway, all right, so you're standing there with an apple basket on in pants, and what then happened?

I can picture it.

Me too.

So then we're walking around outside.

It's

so now they're walking.

He's wearing an apple basket as pants.

That was Hot Wings, who Hot Wings is like, free beer, you're such a hilljack.

Yeah,

you're such an absolute, you know, hill.

You're a hill person, which, by the way, he's, yeah, he's not.

I don't think.

I mean, and I guess, is that supposed to be the joke?

I'm not really, I don't know these guys well enough.

Yeah, that's the joke.

I don't know him either.

Yeah.

And he wants to tell this story so bad.

I know.

I know.

It's painful how bad he wants to tell this story that he knows where it's going.

And I'm sure in his mind, like, this is a very funny story.

And then everybody on the show is doing everything they can to put roadblocks, unknowingly.

Yeah, this is roadblocks in the way.

Really shitty thing to do.

Maybe if somebody was trying to tell what what their smoothie was as well to be doing something like that but i would also say that

i would also say that this is very very similar beer beer beer beer beer beer beer This is very similar to what happens to Brian on a lot of shows, honestly, is he's trying to get to the content and me, specifically me, a lot of the time, are actively stopping him from getting to the stuff and derailing it all the time, depending on who the guest is, too.

Sometimes it gets out of control.

So, I think Brian kind of feels for free beer here.

I do.

Peganinus,

like free beer,

is that she doesn't let a lego behind you.

Who do you think I should date, Alan or Joel?

And I'm like, What?

What are you doing here?

It's not what I name my balls.

And then, so she was

that lady's cheese is her name.

Is her name not?

No, it isn't.

I promise her name is Cheese.

No, come on lying to you i can show you so the the people on this show are free beer hot wings and cheese and steve

oh poor steve

do you think steve was not granted a nickname or do you think he was like no

he turned it down they gave him a bunch and he said no no i would imagine in this world

It is a great insult to be called simply Steve.

I would think that like, yeah, he's maybe, is he the newest one on the show?

No, he's their producer.

So, I guess they could call him producer Steve.

No, no, that's not the way it works.

That sucks for him.

He's, I guess they're trying to basically say, you are not an on-air guy, really.

You're a producer who comes on mic sometimes.

You're not one of the food family.

No matter how many times.

Yeah.

No matter how many times you call yourself potato nuts, it's not going to stick.

Yeah, it's not sticking, Steve.

They're aggressively.

Well, here's a good riff.

Here's one more good hot free beer and hot wings riff.

I think you guys are going to really like.

Oh, you can't hear it.

I know.

Because everybody you hear from that's like, I got these huge knockers are just like, these suck.

My wife is working hard to de-romanticize them at our house.

Sometimes when I'm paying attention to hers, she'll say things like, it's cute how into bags of fat you are.

And that really sucks the joy out of that.

As fast as possible.

Take fat.

Yeah, that is.

I mean, I'm sorry to hear that.

It sounded like like, you sound like you might have intimacy issues with your wife, potentially.

But yeah, that's,

yeah, I mean, I don't know what your relationship is to the breast because I do know some people who have sort of a strange relationship with suckling on them.

And maybe that sort of makes her uneasy.

Josh, just a quick question for you.

Any point in your life you ever sucked on a titty for three hours?

Three hours?

Yeah.

That's so much time.

It's such an exaggeration.

Yeah, anyways anyways doesn't matter he said nobody would do three hours no

brian sucked on did that brian used to do that exclusively he would do that he would

he would suck on the titty instead of doing sex and then he would go home and finish himself off okay

So I'm just saying, my only point is that

if free beer is like a little bit too obsessed in that sort of way, that maybe she's like, I need to dissuade him from being you know going so hard at it so i'm going to start trying to you know we got to watch wicked yeah we do literally anything other than suck on my titties free beer

boobs are romanticized because everybody you hear from that's like i got

Let me see if it's cheese.

She might be an intern.

I think this is a different lady than the lady they showed.

Unless she's dyed her hair blonde, maybe she wasn't up close before, but I think.

Wait, wait, let me see.

Cause she might be actually cheese.

So Kelly is cheese, and then this is Maitland.

Maitland, so it doesn't have a name.

No food name.

Yeah, she's kind of in the Steve zone.

Yeah, that's that's uh everybody's trying to get out of the Steve zone these days.

Not a good sign when it comes time for you know rehires and all that stuff.

If you do not have a food name, if they're re if they're doing the contract negotiations and you find yourself without a food name, yeah, I would say start looking for another job.

I honestly believe Maitland is hired because she has a young person's name you know what i mean like the rest of them have but brian why don't they just give someone a young person's name i mean they're calling one of the girls cheese

well her last name is cheeseboro i see

okay so she comes by her food name honestly i don't know that i believe that

you don't why would somebody make themselves well i guess you're coming into free beer and hot wings you're like i gotta get that

hey sir, I'm just

she's trying to game the system.

I think.

I think she's like,

Yeah, she's like, she knows she's not gonna earn her cheese name on merit or her food name, so she comes in and she's like, No, no, it's actually part of my last name, it's what I used to be called as a kid.

They would call she's like rifling, rifling through the refrigerator before the interview, uh, Rebecca Salad Dressing Tan,

yeah,

yeah, definitely.

Steve's like, why didn't I think of that?

Yeah.

You know,

Steve Chips or something.

Dill Chickley.

Steve Chips.

It's chips.

You came up with chips and I came up with dill pickle, a flavor of chips.

Hi.

These huge knockers are just like, these suck.

My wife is working hard to.

Oh, okay.

So we listened to the whole thing.

Let's go to some comments.

Okay.

See,

do they have an act of,

like, are they a big show?

Yes, they are syndicated all over the country.

They're as big as a show can be.

I did find out through looking at Bob and Tom's.

I don't think they're as big as a show can be.

I just want to.

I mean, they're big.

I know.

I don't want to shit pick a fight here, but I think there's a possibility it could be bigger than free beer at a hallway.

It's no, you can wear it.

Nobody can.

Oh, sorry.

No, go ahead.

I'm still trying to find out.

These shows all have, we're talking about shows that like have not kind of achieved or not to kind of modernize at all, right?

This is all very morning radio, but you hear something like the breakfast club, right?

And you're like, oh, there is,

you can make that transition, right?

Like that feels both very radio and like very relevant to the way it like drives discourse.

And maybe it's because it's in a big market, but like this feels like the thing about like, yeah, I don't like cars with too many bumper stickers feels like you're doing like

radio radio.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, and it also feels like it does seem like like with with something like the breakfast club,

they're not doing like, I think the thing that makes a lot of these old style is there's two kind of types of this radio.

And one is like, One is guy radio.

That's what free beer and hot wings are.

That's right.

that's just like they're, they only have one demographic they're going after, and it's guys like 18 to 50 something or something.

And like, uh, uh, then you have the like zoo, morning zoo.

It'll be on a station oftentimes called like Kiss FM or something.

And that is for women.

And that's like the two kinds of terrestrial radio that exist.

And neither one of them are modernized.

Like I was reading about

like, it's funny.

There's a show called Dave and Jimmy here in Columbus.

And I, I was kind of looking into them a little bit, but there wasn't a lot of like interesting stuff.

But the one thing I did find that that like really showed me kind of like what radio

still is is that instead of doing or where radio, the state of radio is that like Dave and Jimmy did, did parody songs for years.

Like I used to hear their parody songs and I would laugh.

They'd do a song about the news the people on the news or like you know just columbus there's that people here would know and uh i i got to look it in and they have stopped making parody songs and they've instead started doing ai they're they're like the bit is that they're having ai make parody songs And then people can shit on them or like them.

And it's like, that's just a guy that doesn't want to write parody songs anymore.

There's like nothing because there's no talent involved.

but it does maybe drive a little bit more discourse because people can call in and say, this sucks.

And this guy doesn't have any currency in it.

You know what I mean?

I didn't do anything.

It's sort of like a social experiment.

It's kind of like a cool social experiment.

It's just like, oh, like, how do, it's like, I'm doing a kind of a cool thing where it's like, how do people react if I don't do any work and don't put anything into the stuff that I'm doing?

And it's like, yeah, it's like, it's a little better for me.

I have some more free time to do stuff.

But on the other hand, you also get to sort of see like, how do the human condition react to something like that?

Yeah.

And it feels like AI is like kind of made for this, right?

Where it's like, okay, I have to go on the radio for three hours, five days a week, and I need something to talk about and ask the listeners about.

So I'm just going to make a robot shit out some shit, and then I'm going to make them talk about that instead of like, right, doing something that is like, even a parody song, I wouldn't call it like the most vulnerable form of art.

there is something vulnerable of being like i think this is funny i'm going to put on the radio and then people are going to call in and be like that ruled or like not your best work brah yeah yeah you got to deal with the totally you're like putting yourself out there and i think that you're absolutely right that it's so ripe for ai because before ai came along they were using the like best version of that that they could which is prep burger services which is just one individual creates something and puts it into the sort of public sphere and then they all use it and just like, you know, same thing.

They're like not willing to come up with something on their own or they can't come up with enough stuff on their own.

So yeah, of course they're going to embrace AI.

I fucking hate, hate it.

I hate

so much.

Yeah.

It's definitely becoming like

their way, but they're still using prep services.

I do have a very obvious prep burger.

bit that we can get to here in a minute.

I just want to read some of these comments on this fun bags thing or fat bags.

Mike says, I enjoy fat bags, low carb bags, zero calorie bags, and family-sized bags.

I'm not sure I get the joke.

I don't either, really.

But you like all different types of titties?

No, I get that, I guess, but like low-calorie, what are the smaller ones he's saying?

Because I don't know that you want to refer to them as low-calorie.

It just sort of makes sense.

Low carb.

Oh, low-carb.

Zero-calorie just.

Low-carb actually makes less sense.

Yeah, less sense.

Zero calories just kind of, I don't know what that would look like in a breast I would think that you'd want to have calories there'd be you know fat is in the breast I don't know how it works I'm not but it just to me it doesn't I don't want to hear I don't want zero calorie breasts and then Andy replies and goes I'm more into the snack packs but I wouldn't turn a meal down

what

that one I don't know either

he's saying he likes small breasts but we turn away large breasts right but he says that to women like all the time he's like i wouldn't use snack pack.

I wouldn't use snack pack.

I wouldn't, I just personally wouldn't use snack pack.

Same.

None of the things that have been said are anything that I would say.

I wouldn't say anything responding to the original thing.

Definitely, but I would, I would especially not say snack pack.

Austin says, I don't think any man or woman has ever looked at a pair of fat bags and gotten upset.

I think we should rename them to mood improvement bags.

It's a bit clunky.

Just I'm saying it like mood and I agree.

I don't even know if that's true.

Does everyone love?

I mean, I like them personally.

Listen, I like titties.

I can't say I don't.

Well,

that would people would call me out on that if I said that.

Yeah, of course.

You're on the record as being obsessed.

They call you a flip-flopper.

Oh, you would lose votes.

Kit says, yeah, it's all funny games until somebody gets two black eyes just looking at a pair of triple H-size man gobblers.

What

this is, this feels okay.

So, this feels

very, very

90s.

In like it feels frozen in amber.

Like, they in 1993, they took the Jurassic Park mosquito out of amber, and then they put this bit into the same amber because it's like that feels so 90s of just calling boobs like hubba-hubba machines or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, they, they,

Mang gobblers, like, I don't know.

Man gobblers is again, I guess, like, they're so big that they swallow you up in them.

But again, like, man-gobblers, it just, you know, gobbling is absolutely sucking it.

Sucking on one.

Everyone knows.

It's more chewing.

It's more chewing.

No, but if you're gobbling, if you're like a cock gobbler or whatever, you're got, you know, you're gobbling the cock.

And we all know that you can't call them a man gobbler referring to the breast.

It's not a good thing.

It sounds too much like goblin as well.

I just, I don't, I don't like it as a description.

Um, but yeah, also,

I just, they're also, they're always going to be kind of soft, too.

So I don't know what type of how you're going to get a black eye from them.

For man gobblers, yeah, like, like, like, how would they

have to strike you with such force?

Yeah, you would need more torque than anyone would want to.

I would think it would hurt that because you've got all the bones and stuff in your face.

It would be probably painful on the nipple and the, the area, the breast of the, of the person as well.

I told you we'd get some prep burger stuff in here.

Uh, our buddy John Gabris told us that he used to do this,

and it's very obvious that this is not

real.

And at least the Fred show from Chicago puts some,

he puts a little bit of like, he tries to get it realistic.

So here we go.

Hello?

Hi, this is Chloe.

Yes.

Hi, Chloe.

Good morning.

My name is Fred.

I'm calling from the Fred Show the Morning radio show.

And I do have to tell you that we are on the radio right now, and I would need your permission to continue with the calls.

Is it okay if we chat for just a second?

You can hang up anytime.

Oh,

yeah, sure.

Oh,

yeah.

Sure.

So what we learned, Josh.

I was practicing that line in front of the mirror for like 45 minutes before.

So one of the things we've learned, Josh, Josh, and to the listeners out there that maybe aren't on a patreon, haven't heard like Shocktober and stuff, is John Gabris used to do this for part of his job.

They get a hold of improv groups, and then you are a radio caller.

Oh, interesting, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You call in, and it'll be two people, and oftentimes, it's somebody cheating on somebody or some dating situation that is off.

This is dating situation that's off, but it's very obvious that everybody doing this is scripted and it is it's it's wild it's so here we go thank you very much um we're calling on behalf of a guy who reached out to us his name is Patrick I guess you guys matched on on one of the apps and maybe you guys were messaging for a while do you remember this guy

yeah I don't know if I want to talk about that on the radio.

You don't want to talk about it.

Come on.

Come on.

We got it.

Yeah, just sing some friends here.

This sounds like a story.

Well, I'll explain to you that Patrick reached out to us.

Time for some exposition.

Yeah, time to set this bit up proper now.

And I love that, like, they kind of have written in the bit, like, she's like, I don't want to talk about on the radio, but they don't really have like a sort of a good, oh, come on,

right?

Kind of like the thing that they have to, you know,

there's no reason for her to be drawn out by this.

No, nobody even tried to talk her into it.

It was just, oh, come on.

And let me tell you this, too.

I have another of these, and they start out with the girl being like, oh, I don't want to talk about this.

And

come on.

It's almost like porn coded, right?

Of like the audience wants the, in this flavor of it, the audience wants the person to be a little reluctant, right?

And then they want to be like coaxed into it.

That's true.

And it makes it seem real to people who might think this stuff like i've never it's like a very i've never done this before like is this gonna be okay yeah yeah on the radio i'm right out in front of everyone like this i feel kind of exposed right now and that oh come on you couldn't even say said just your first name like nobody would know who you are from your first name and voice speaking yeah yeah yeah yeah but the reality of it is like yeah so we you would just If somebody calls you on, since you're on the radio, this guy you matched with and you had this like bad interaction with uh, call this and they want to talk about it.

You just hang up the everybody.

You gotta hang up the fucking phone.

Yeah, you hang up the phone.

Immediately, do you send a message to that guy?

What the fuck are you doing?

Leave me alone, please.

This is crazy.

I don't want to be on the radio, you know?

When I was, when I was young and I would be listening to the radio before school or whatever on the, on the drive-in, there were prank calls were such a big part of it.

And they were so

mean.

Like the pranks were just like people,

you know, if they weren't fake, that it was unbelievable that people would do this because it would every single one would be like um hey uh is this is this karen she'd be like uh-huh who's this you'd be like i'm calling from the police your son's been decapitated

well and the thing about that is josh it's illegal to do prank calls on the radio depends on the year it depends on the year yeah yeah it depends on when there was a year where they changed the rules and then everyone after that is fake and it's like was a pretty early it's a long time ago it's in the 80s no 90s 90s

Sometime in the 90s, but they've all you can actually kind of track it weirdly to when Howard Stern's prank calls were all to like public access shows or to like other entertainment forms that are

phone calls.

There wasn't like the premise of like, you need to get a release before you start talking to them.

Yeah.

Because you can, sometimes you can just call somebody on their cell phone too and then put it up on their, on your YouTube channel, and nobody really cares about that.

They might even throw you in jail for that but i don't know whatever it might be hard

and i'm not even i like a good specific prank like chris your work is so

i appreciate it i i'm not yeah no i i think that it's incredible pranks are mean and so if you're not targeting people that you don't like then it's it's weird to do them um and yeah i I hate the idea of the pranks against the public and stuff and people who are like

a prominent form.

I mean, maybe it still is, but it was so

on YouTube now.

It's like those YouTube pranks

are going out.

Like, it's a different form of it now.

They're going out, and it's even worse, you know?

They're like doing these horrible things to people who are just walking around in everyday life.

That's why the best.

It's like, hey, what do you do?

And I'm like, oh, I'm a YouTube prank show.

Like, if I say that to people, people are like, oh, so you're like one of the worst guys in the whole world.

And yeah, which is not true.

I'm

middle.

You're not one of those guys that crouches behind an old lady and then a big other guy pushes her into a lake or something.

No,

but lake too.

I don't do the lake prank anymore.

No, yeah.

It's funny.

I called Herschel Walker recently, for example, you know, to find out if he knows how to say the president's name.

I called him on his cell phone and he got mad at me.

That's the kind of prank I do.

It's all right.

I mean, like, you pick, and you pick targets that are like public hypocrites or assholes.

And you're not just like someone calls your show and is like, can you call my wife and say that her husband's been cheating on her with a dog?

Well, that's, yeah, War of the Roses is the famous one of like the roses one.

This is what that this is, basically.

This is modern War of the Roses.

Okay, okay.

Like, yeah, because they don't really deliver flowers anymore.

It used to be Josh.

War of the Roses, like, hey, you have

flower delivery.

Who do you want to give it to?

And then the guy would be like, I want to give it to my mistress.

And then they'd be like, excuse me.

The wife would be on the line, which is just like, it's the dumbest idea.

And the fact that it gained so much traction that it became like the most famous radio bit in the history of radio is so fucking like telling of how bad and like how low the bar is for content on morning radio, you know?

I mean, I'll say that in 2016,

I went to the inauguration.

We went to the inauguration, a street fight.

We went and like the whole plan,

we went and and bought like portable recording stuff and we were going to talk to people on the street we didn't talk to one

person because the only thing i kept saying is i don't want to bring anybody into my world you know what i mean like i don't want to bring somebody into my world and then make them live in my world for a few minutes and then goof on them or whatever sure for they don't know what the they're talking they don't know what i'm talking about you know what i mean they don't know who i am so we bought all this equipment and then just walked around with it and didn't use it at all.

And it happened a few times where I was like, we'll talk to some people on the street.

I just can't do it.

I would never, I, I,

I remember a bit.

Well, remember, I listened to it a lot when, when they had Gilbert Godfrey do that in New York, Howard Stern had Gilbert Godfrey dress as Dracula.

and do his Dracula voice and then ask people stuff on the street.

And the stuff he was saying was fucking insane because he's Gilbert Godfrey.

Yeah.

It was the 90s.

And I just heard that and I was like, man, I don't know.

I, that's not something I didn't think I have in me.

You can't even really talk to people without a camp.

Like you don't really interact with people that well, even when there's no camera on.

He had matched with you and he thought

he said you were texting or talking or something and that things are going really well.

And then you've now, you know, disappeared before there could be a date.

And he kind of wants to to know why.

So he's asking us to find out.

So you can say whatever you want.

Well, thank you for setting that up.

Oh, okay.

So, yeah, now I'll go, I'll say it on the radio now, but my

intimate details of my, like, you know, yeah, yeah, okay.

Now that you set it up like that.

And also a guy that was messaging back and forth with a woman, she doesn't want to meet up.

And he's like, I know where to go for restitution.

First of all, you don't need restitution, but like, I know where I'll go to get to the bottom of this.

The radio.

The French show.

It's like, honestly, I don't know.

When I used to be on the dating apps, I'm in a relationship, obviously.

But when I was on the dating apps, I also am in a relationship.

Oh, congratulations.

They've been married for a long time.

Yeah, that's true.

You never even use the apps, right?

Josh, did you?

You've been for a long time, both of you.

So

I do have experience on the apps, and I know that anytime a girl would sort of stop talking to me, I would contact my local radio show

to find her information first off.

I mean, I know that you guys have a law enforcement like database.

You got to call up Judge Fred, who's the judge, jury, and executioner of dating apps.

Yes,

I don't know.

Um,

I mean, come on, talking about, you know, about your love life on the radio, kind of odd.

Excuse me, what

I agree with, I agree with that.

It is, it would be odd to do that.

She's right.

The camera's on a woman's face and she's doing like the

light Jim Halperding is the

expression.

I mean, I'm not going to force you, but I mean, we'd love to know what it is that you're unwilling to share with us.

And he gave us permission.

I mean, he asked us to do this.

He says

you actually don't need the permission of a guy a woman wants to talk to to call that woman woman and make her divulge into the details of the radio.

That's like not his.

I think the conceit must be here that the stuff's going to be because he already knows what it's going to be and it's a pre-written uh bit is that the stuff is embarrassing about him, right?

Right, right.

So now he's trying to say, but it doesn't make any sense to us because we don't know any of the information.

But because it's a pre-written bit and they know the information, they're sort of like addressing it that way.

Yep, yeah, right.

Like it's okay for you to say this thing about him.

He said, do your worst, essentially.

Yeah, exactly.

But it's honestly comes off different.

It comes off as

he gave us permission to call you and he gave you permission to talk about it.

Like it comes off like they're saying that rather than he gave us permission.

You're fine.

You can say whatever it was that happened.

So wait till you hear what happened.

It doesn't sound like everything was great.

So what happened?

Yeah, no, it was,

well,

I mean, it was fine at first.

You know, we met Patrick on the apps and honestly, I was, I was super excited because, I mean, he's hot.

But then, you know, things got flirty and we switched over to text.

And I

did send him,

you know, a couple of kind of

sexy selfies, but, you know, nothing, nothing too crazy.

Okay.

All right.

All right, hey, that's fine, you know.

Hey,

thank you for your permission, the radio.

Yeah,

yeah, so we're kind of building up here to meeting in person.

You know, the conversation got a little bit,

I guess, flirty plus, we'll call it elevated flirtation, yeah, PG-13.

Right, maybe it's lower territory.

All right, okay, but that's

positive for a second.

Ma'am, I just want to appreciate you telling this story in such a way like that is really conducive for the radio and allowing these sort of pauses for laughs and riffs.

And I love the way that you're telling it in a way that person definitely would explain something if they were asked this question.

They wouldn't just tell you the thing right away.

They would break it down in this radio-friendly way.

And in fact, wait for half the exposition to be given by the radio host.

Yes, of course.

Yeah.

Sort of work in tandem with the person that they have never met before to deliver a really sort of solid

story.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes.

And you can tell that they told her that she needs to be reluctant

because that makes the bit seem better.

And she's just, I mean, I got to say, not good at coming off reluctant.

Yeah, she's my opinion.

For it to be believable, I think she needs to be a little bit more reluctant to share.

And there needs to be some

in, they need to entice, there needs to be some reason why she would be willing to do it.

But I don't know.

Even if them, them going like, you know, he's just been single for a while and feels like he keeps striking out on the apps.

And you would really be doing a great kindness to him to say whatever it is, even if it's bad.

He's ready to hear it.

He wants to know the reason why so that he can improve.

We're doing a dating thing with it.

Yeah, exactly.

That gives an explanation.

That is well written, Josh.

Do you want me to put you in contact with this Prep Burger service?

I would imagine that they, I don't know,

you would think they would pay well for a very good idea if they're going to use it a million times, but I know something's telling me.

I bet it doesn't.

Because the ideas are usually

so they have to be.

They can't be that spectacular because you have to be able to do like 100 a year, right?

Yes.

And then you're just like, oh, I called another guy who

he said he was unmatching because he's an astronaut that's going to live on the moon or whatever.

It's like another one of those.

Yeah, well, that's what Gabriel said.

He would sit, he would wake up in the morning and he would just do different radio shows all day.

That's wild.

Yeah, they would just sit there and like he would do West Coast shows.

He was in New York at the time.

He would do West Coast shows.

And it would just across the country, he would do

like a bit tailored, like where he's like, oh, yeah, I want to give it to my mistress.

It can't be too good either.

That's the key for another reason because it can't be too good that it goes viral.

Because if it goes viral, the clip, then someone in the other market will be like, What the fuck?

They're doing that.

And they'll realize that it's, you know, yeah, I bet Gabriel was incredible at this.

He's so, so funny and so good on his feet.

Oh, yeah, he would have been so good.

It would be great to try to, if we could, if someone could ever track down like one of his calls, you know, I'm sure there's something that exists somewhere.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

Well, Lindy asked me to send him pictures and videos of me with other men.

Typical single guy behavior.

So seems as though we got ourselves a single guy.

Here we go.

And

I hold on.

So we went from sending pictures, like flirty pictures of ourselves.

Like well, I wasn't texting Patrick.

At least not last night.

Not this night.

I wasn't.

You like that, Chris?

I like that one.

I like that one.

Because for a second there, I was like, wait, Fred,

are you involved?

It was send me pictures of you that are kind of flirty.

Okay, right.

And then it transitions to send me material content of you and other men together.

Yeah, why are you saying it like that?

Are you not familiar with this concept, you fucking idiot?

Yeah.

Yeah.

The guy is a horny creep and he's looking for pornographic material to masturbate, too.

like he's like it's like he's you cannot believe that somebody would ever ask something like that it's it's a horribly creepy thing to do but it's like you should understand why he's wrong to do but also okay at this point

it's so

with him spooling out so much of this information at this point now we're like well why is he calling her exactly exactly

information at all has been divulged by the person on the phone fred has been divulging every almost every bit of information

yeah

and and right yeah i yeah i was in i mean i was in shock i didn't like what you i mean i don't what can i do let's just

i don't know

not everybody has that guy doesn't have a strong voice

that guy doesn't have a strong voice he was like a producer or something like that he was like yeah yeah yeah and he has like a wispy kind of voice and it didn't even really get in there i think that's a he's a steve though he's not a cheese a free beer or a hot wing that's weak to go out and make it like i mean what is right

yeah i don't let me yeah let me bring petrick and i don't i mean even if i did yeah well no i gotta i gotta i do feel oh this is so good it's not going the way he wants it he's like got his hand up he's like nope nope he's kind of doing the thing don't shut up this is not your line.

Not my tempo.

Not your line.

Yeah, you are getting, you're getting Fred Man out of his tempo.

He talks in the first person.

Threw me off.

So it's still thinking about it.

It just.

Well, let me, Chloe.

Patrick is here.

I got to mention that Patrick is here, and I'm going to bring it into the call.

I'm very forgetful.

Patrick,

I have to bring him on.

He's lazily thrown together bit, you know.

Oh, I didn't mention it.

I'm forgetful.

Like, oh, come on, man.

Give some, yeah.

I'm trying to figure out, like,

I'm trying to figure out what they think the juice is coming from here, right?

Because it's like they call this lady about a thing that is objectively not a thing, right?

Of like matched with a guy, didn't want to meet up.

That's like totally okay.

Happens a thousand times to people on apps all the time all the time.

Then they're like, and this guy was a creep.

And you're like, and she's like, yeah, I guess he did this kind of thing that shocked me.

And like, now we're going to confront you with this guy who was a creep.

And it's like, well, why?

He's in the wrong, and you knew it when you called her.

And guess what?

We've got you guys two all-expenses paid tickets to Hawaii.

You're going to be going on a vacation with this guy.

Like, yeah, that's right.

He's picking you up at your house.

So we've just given him the address.

We gave him your address.

It's kind of a like a like, it really is kind of fucked up.

Yeah, if you if it was real

and it's definitely not real 100% not.

Yeah, you can hear how fake this is.

Of course, if it's real, the Fred show

is

evil.

They're robotic.

Yeah, they should, they should be allowing this woman clearly did not want to continue to deal with this guy.

They're almost like they're aiding this

stalking behavior.

And they did, he did a thing, right, in this reality, in the Fred zone.

Yeah, in the Fred Zone.

Patrick did something that Fred knew about when he made the call.

So it wasn't just like, I'm doing a favor for my man, Patrick, who's a sweetie, and he wants to know what went wrong.

He's like, this guy was, came on way too strong, which we know because we said it.

And now we're going to put him back in touch with you.

And it's like,

why are we rooting for that?

Yeah, it's weird.

Fred is like the most in the wrong person in this.

And it's, and I don't think Fred is doing it.

Like the tone of it isn't like, I'm doing this fucked up shit.

It's like,

it's like a standard kind of turn the tables phone call.

It's because it's from Prep Burger.

It's probably not the, this is probably like, they do it all around the country.

They do this same sort of bit, but I hope not because, yeah, this is what this is a scarier one than War of Road, the Rose.

He picked this.

What I would assume is he had a choice of a few different things.

And And this one had the spicy,

the spiciest content that he could get away with.

So he went with this.

And I like to think, maybe this is just the naive optimist in me, that Fred wouldn't do this to real people, right?

I think that is not,

I think he would do it.

He would do it if it got him ratings.

If it could get him into a bigger market.

Are you kidding?

I don't know anything about Fred.

I was the same.

Oh, he's in Chicago?

He's a Chicago guy.

Maybe he wants a better slot, though.

Maybe he wants mornings or more

he's mornings okay so he's mornings on the pop station in chicago kiss okay so this guy's doing well the fred show is doing well but you can always get syndication you could always like there is big there is new york new york is still a bigger market than chicago so new york or la new york or la are the two markets that you could go to that are bigger so i would say you know as long as that's on the table for fred he would pretty much he'd bury his own family if it if it got him a chance if it got him you know three hours on uh w abc in new york it's it's so tough because i want to i i know from working in comedy for a long time i have a lot of friends that are in radio and and again podcasting is not that dissimilar that that really like try to be fun and entertaining and like human about it and be like, I'm a person, I'm like a voice in your ears every morning for a few hours.

So like, let's have a nice time together.

And then you get people that are doing calls, right, that are just calling like,

like, your father's in jail and I need you to come to jail now.

Bring all your cash.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, there's a little major detail that we left out.

You know, one thing I guess if you guys are exchanging pictures, fine, but you wanted pictures of her with other men?

I don't remember asking that for really.

Okay, that is a real, that is what I have been affectionately calling a no and.

Well, then where did he get it, if not from you, Patrick?

You you told him this.

Where did he get him from?

This guy's doing a no-and.

It's wonderful.

Chose a text message.

Right.

I'm trying to remember.

Patrick, this is in text.

This is in writing.

I mean,

well, he has to act

flustered.

This is a.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He has to do that, though.

I get it.

That is, that's called, well, it's called acting.

So So it's like when you're acting, it's like, oh, okay, if you want it to not be believable, you could do it like, I don't know, but then if you want to be believable, you go, ah, and then, well, that wouldn't be in the acting script for somebody to go, ah.

Well, you send me all the text.

I mean, it wasn't.

He doesn't recall.

Yeah, we don't need to see all the text.

So are you saying you didn't do it or are you saying you did do it?

And now that you're being called out, you don't want to talk about it because that's two different things.

I mean, I might have done it, but I don't, I don't really recall anything like serious like that.

Okay, so now

Patrick is the reason there's that random chair in the hotel room that faces the bed.

That's for Patrick.

Okay, that was written ahead of time for sure.

He talked about that.

So he likes to watch.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Our friend Tom likes to watch that.

Tom loves to do that.

Not Tom, who's been a guest, Sex Tom.

And not Sex Tom who owns Tom's Trips, the one who works for Tom's Trips, not the one who owns the Dallas Sex Club either.

Well, let's take a look at a couple of comments on this.

We got a little riffin' let's watch a little no now i have a question for you josh what is have you what was like um

what's the wildest like shock jock morning zoo style show that you did go on if you could if you don't mind calling one out by name we won't rip on it super hard but just one that was like full

full on i don't remember the name of the guy so i don't know if he's still there or not and and this is a comedy club that i love working at but the most backfooted backfooted I've ever been on morning radio was

I was, I don't remember, I think it was before I met my wife, but I had a long-term girlfriend at the time.

And I was in Madison.

And the

radio, the D, the DJ asked, he goes, so when you're, um, when you're out here on the road, when you're touring around, are you like, what do you do after you go to bed after the show?

You out there getting a little squish?

Oh, fuck.

Wooosh.

Yeah.

Getting a little squish.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

That's like, he might be a, he might be a disciple of the Grease Man because that, the Grease Man famously had all the names for it and stuff.

Do you get a Snarlins when you're out on the road?

Yeah, that's what a blowjob is a Snarlins.

Let's check this out.

I believe a fake comment.

I believe

that this is not a legitimate person.

The very first comment is from Robert, and it says, I'm like Patrick.

I love seeing my GFs and a couple of my wives doing other men.

It's a turn in turn in.

It says turn in.

He goes, Call me crazy.

That's my reality.

I have stories.

We don't have to call you crazy.

There's a name for you.

It's cuckold here.

Yeah, you're interested.

Brian and I unfortunately know so much about this.

And it's, yeah, you're interested.

You want your wife to be a hot wife.

Hot wife lifestyle.

Hot wife lifestyle.

And the guys are bulls who have sex with her.

That's the, that's what every single guy in the lifestyle is trying to get to.

And basically, none of them will ever get there except for like eight, and the rest of them are despicable.

Single guys you chase around with a frying pan.

They're they're just such an absolute cancer on the pineapple lifestyle, but a few of them have elevated themselves to the position of bull.

So it's very common.

It's a very common thing you'll learn if you look into it.

In the comments, Jennifer replies and goes, You sound like my boyfriend, which is

something.

So he's, I believe he is, again, he's a cuckold, I believe.

And he goes, it's also like,

again, in this world, in this reality that is false that they've created, the people that have the, are the most in touch with their desire to cuckold and be cuckolded have the least vocabulary for discussing it.

If only there were a name for this thing that I want and can articulate in perfect detail and have experienced in the past.

Yeah.

Well, let's take a look here at the radio station that the Fred show is on, WXRT.

This is in Chicago, I believe.

Yes, Chicago, Illinois.

And we got some reviews.

This is from Yelp.

This is Yelp.

Yeah.

So, yeah, what would cause you to ever do a Yelp review of a radio set?

I guess we'll find out.

Kurt says, four stars.

Chicago's home for music lovers.

I'm not quite sure what XRT stands for, but they put out the jam.

We We could look it up, I'm sure.

I don't think it stands for anything.

It's call that letters.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It's a radio thing.

They don't have.

Some of them get ones that are like, you know, W, whatever, and it spells a name, but that's just if you're lucky enough to get those, I guess, right?

Yeah.

Rest guy's also in San Antonio, Texas.

Yeah.

That's odd that he's.

So he's thinking that there's some sort of hidden message in there that he's not quite getting, but he's okay with that.

It's still four stars.

I believe believe this is an extremely fake review because he goes uh this is mainly a classic rock station and the djs are professional and knowledgeable about the music they seem to really know their stuff they play some deep tracks that you don't hear on other classic rock stations and have some good commentary since it's classic rock i guess i don't hear too many new songs that's the trouble with classic rock

can you imagine michael hearing it michael noland hearing him say that since it's classic rock uh he goes i've at least heard of nearly every artist on here some of the things they consider classic rock make me feel old.

I like the fact that they don't have very many commercials on here, especially compared to other stations.

I believe this is somebody at the station has just,

you know, you could just, if you go home and nobody's, you know, he's like, really not tech sad.

He's like, nobody's stopping you, Al, from going home, making an account there, and just leaving a review, and we can sing some favorable stuff.

He's like, so five stars?

No, Icarus.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Four stars.

Have shame.

John says, daft Punk is two stars.

Daft Punk?

Really?

WXRT used to be my favorite station, but I can barely stomach the set list they have.

They've sold out to corporate America, America with a K, and are no longer Chicago's finest rock, in my opinion.

You cannot please everyone.

Rip WXRT.

Thank goodness for serious satellite radio.

So that's nice.

Paul says, not really a rock station, more like a light FM soft music station.

I do enjoy some of the Saturday morning flashback shows, but that has been shortened and they don't even post the playlist anymore.

How can they be progressive when they don't ever play anything like Ministry, Marilyn Manson, or GOAT?

Good question.

Smart.

You've got to play the big three.

Ministry, Marilyn Manson.

Goat

Ghost.

But that is an odd three.

This review,

that's a 2017.

And Mr.

E says, two stars, XRT is really turning to crap.

Been listening to it since almost day one.

Have tolerated the changes, but now it's endless repetitious junk.

That's radio.

That's radio, dude.

You're a liar if you say you've been listening for a long time and you're now frustrated with the repetitiveness of the, that's how it's always been.

This is odd.

How many times a day do we have to hear that Leon Bridges tune?

Four?

Same with any number of other tunes.

The repetitiousness overshadows the little bits of alternative for finest rock between.

Sorry,

it's always been repetitive, but he used to like the songs they played all over and over, and now he doesn't like them.

That's all.

He's gotten older.

Uh, Dan D says, how about playing some rock and roll once in a while?

Rory Gallagher, Johnny Winter, Alvin Lee, Chuck Berry, the Mavericks, Deep Purple, Danny Gatton, UFO, Marshall Tucker, you know, he'll

be aware of that.

I appreciate that.

Well, that's nice, though.

It's like, hey, I'm not only going to give a couple, I'll give you a wide variety that you can choose from.

Just play some of it for God's sake.

Well, we have a lot more reviews, but I'm not going to read through them because we're about done and we're going to go ahead.

And I will have reviews from Yelp for a lot of radio stations on Guys Plus.

Yeah.

Yeah, I do have to go as well.

It's Chris's fault.

It's my fault.

I will take full responsibility, everyone.

The episode is now ending because I have to go somewhere.

So I apologize he's going on vacation nobody

he's going to hawaii i'm not i don't i don't go on vacation i have a i have a young baby and i you you go on vacation all the time famously brian excuse me no i don't when are you going on your next vacation be honest march

okay i don't believe you thank you josh no we're looking at maybe doing like a little Pittsburgh thing.

Yeah, when is that?

December.

It's already probably happened when this has gone out.

It happens.

It happens.

Yes, because we're recording this in Brovember and it's coming out in Manuary.

Yeah, yes.

Josh, do you have anything to plug?

I have a

newsletter called That's Marvelous.

That's joshgondelman.substack.com.

I read it every Monday.

I go on the road a bunch.

I've got a tour date.

I'm doing a show in at Sketchfest in San Francisco on January 25th, joshgondelman.com for all tour dates.

And I should soon have a new, I'm like waiting for the news as we record this, but should have a new stand-up special out soon called

Positive Reinforcement.

And if you follow me on social media at Josh Gondelman or the newsletter, you'll, I'll, you'll, I will be yelling my head off about it.

Hell yeah.

That's fucking awesome.

Is it a crowd work special?

Oh, yeah, I just make the crowd insult me for an hour.

Yeah, that's too, I'm, I'm nowadays.

The only reason is because nowadays I'm only watching crowd work.

That's right.

And I'm only doing crowd work specials.

I do one crowd work special a night.

Josh Josh is super, super, super funny.

So, watch this.

That's that's actually

coming out.

Yeah.

And all Chris is watching is Kill Tony.

Well, I'm watching a lot of Kill Tony, but I got to go now.

So don't get started on Kill Tony.

I can talk about all night.

Hans Kim has really gone downhill.

He's really phoning in his minutes lately.

All right, everyone.

Thanks so much.

See you next week.

Bye.