2025 Ep 301 - ⁠Andy’s apology song to Jack

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Because the Hey Mission Andy podcast starts in three,

two.

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One.

Ahoy to my duodenum.

Ham.

Yeah, this is a body part.

Where's the duodenum again?

I want to say the penus,

which is the Latin for the penis.

Oh, no, no, it's not.

Yeah, see, that's the thing.

If it was there, it'd be like, yep, great.

But since it's not,

then you become the guy that's just.

Is sure the duodenum's not in the penus?

No.

Liza's not going to do three things about the penis.

Why wouldn't she, Jack?

Why wouldn't she?

It's part of the body.

Yep.

I would just be shocked if she chose that.

I think you're thinking of perineum.

No, I know that's in the panus.

If Jack Jax is banjo stringed, I'll be like, come on, man.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

No, no.

Julienum.

Oh, you've just changed it in the moment.

I know it was.

Ahoy to my jejunum.

Ahoy.

And I am the ilium.

Foot?

Inside or outside?

Inside, inside the body.

Is it not a bone?

And it doesn't connect.

Is it something tonsilly?

No.

It doesn't connect.

Oh, it doesn't.

I suppose it actually does eventually.

Get to the penis.

But it'd be a whole new leg bones connected to the

song.

But I don't think so.

Super important.

We have two of them.

One.

Lungs.

Not lungs.

Jack's testicles.

No.

Get out of there.

But they're not like anything.

For the record listeners, I am nowhere near Jack's testicles.

Just in case that sounded like I was doing a live inspection trying to find his duodenum.

You'd have to go higher.

You'd probably get a foot higher.

And there's two of them

kidneys of this,

but they're not identical.

Small intestine, big intestine.

It's the small intestine, Jack.

Yes,

he's one of them.

The three sections of the small intestine we are talking about the duodenum is the first and shortest section uh the uh the jejunum uh is the middle section responsible for carrying food weights towards the ileum using a wave-like muscle contractions that's you jacko and the final and longest section where the most nutrients are absorbed in the large intestine is the ileum that's me today that wasn't miles off tubular organ that is capable of muscle contractions

but yes,

no points though.

Because I don't know if it happens in medical school where the professor comes in and goes, today we're doing tubular organs.

We just spin the wheel.

Spin the wheel to see which one we do.

Intestine or the penus.

But you learn the intestine, you pretty much know the penis.

And vice versa.

It's a bit feller.

It's a bit fuller.

Ahoy also to Tom,

who wouldn't have thought that he was coming straight off the back of this discussion

when he went to HamisDeny.com and uploaded what he's being up to.

Hoy boys, and much gusto to you all.

I'm coming on here to defend Andy's bow.

He's been covering a lot of flat for it lately, and I thought we needed some positive press.

Read the bow.

We spotted Andy down at Dramana Foreshaw.

Andy was mid-run, looking like he'd smoked about 20 packs of cigarettes.

I stopped him for a bow.

Instead, Andy mid-run decided to bow, which is probably more impressive than a stationary bow, if I may add.

And then then to his credit he obviously looped his run back straight past our mob again and we've asked for another bow and he is obliged very deep for a mid-run bow

i give it a nine out of ten and i think that hamish and jack have some serious competition in the bow department good on you boys wonderful for moving a moving bow well i mean first of all we've got sounds like you were doubling out of a coffee talking about

body parts and he said i want to give kudos to andy's bow and i'd heard it as a bow i thought he said bow.

And I'm like, oh, no.

What are the chances of this?

That connects straight to the duodenum.

Well, yeah, when you run.

I mean, you did, but you didn't stop striding.

No.

It's impressive.

Just kind of.

That's like a very, very fast Emu bulb.

Yeah.

That's what it would have looked like.

Ostrich bulb, but full speed.

Thank you, Tom.

Appreciate that.

People who don't know.

Wow.

Wow.

Do you know that before?

And he's selected just a compliment to come in.

Oh, my God.

Thank you, Tom.

Yeah, for realistic sounding AI.

That was awesome.

Thanks, mate.

He's just selected out.

Now, if people want to know, the quickest way to get on the front of the show is just to give Andy a compliment.

I actually have an email that came in on my side of the fence, same part of the Melbourne Peninsula or Victorian Peninsula down there.

And it was about

a young man.

I have to look at the emails here that wanted to sadly report a crime that you'd committed down there.

You and Beth hopped out of the car and you had your dog with you, who'd hopped out of the horse float because it's a very tall dog

and came out of the horse float.

And while you were chatting to this young man and his girlfriend, suddenly his girlfriend's demeanor changed and you didn't know what had happened.

And as they walked away, she revealed that your dog had bit her.

My dog.

This is a lie.

I'll show you the email.

I'm going to have to find the email now.

Not true.

Carly knows

ask carls yeah my

yeah well i take great offense to that and i'll defend that to the hilt well sadly um yeah henrietta had a bit of a nibble and um

it was disappointing for um for the recipient of the peck well you take the good with the bad i got some tom i've got some i've got i've got some they take the they take pet bites very seriously this year no ham you know what sometimes happens the authorities yeah you know what sometimes happens you know sometimes happens.

I've actually sugarcoated it.

I've sugarcoated it.

I imagine you got their dogs sent away, Hamish.

I'm not getting sent away.

I've actually found the Moheris from Max.

It's sent away for life.

That's what happens to sometimes when dogs do that.

And I mean, he says things like savage in his email, which I do think is an exaggeration.

And they say in their family, they now refer to Henrietta as the beast of Rye.

And again, I think that's an exaggeration.

But it certainly seems to me like Max's poor partner was

nipped on the hand.

Fake news, but we better move on hand because we've got a tall hat to talk about.

I've been keeping a close eye on the WhatsApp.

If you're new to the podcast, welcome.

By all means, we welcome anyone in and we encourage people to go back to the start.

We understand that we're now at episode 301, so that is difficult.

But we keep them tight.

But we do keep them tight.

You'll never find one over an hour.

So barely two weeks full-time listening will get you up to speed.

We have never gone for a world record of anything.

We've always thought it was low-hanging hack content.

Not interested.

But now it's hat content.

High-hanging, as it were.

Yes.

We are going to try and, with an elite team, build the tallest hat in the world.

One of us will walk with it on our head, or Daniel Ricardo, if he returns our messages because he has a strong neck from all the F1 driving.

You did.

Hey, man.

My worry with i'm i and i know obviously piastri are much harder to get because he's busy on the circuit my worry with danny rick is he's let his neck go yeah i agreed i saw i think i think looked a bit flatty

is he still driving or is he completely retired and not in the car anymore well he's probably not doing the neck exercises jack even if he's taking off very very fast up to the legal speed limit he just probably doesn't need to train his neck for the g-forces yeah i saw i saw him too recently ando and i you know it seemed like he was very agreeable but i think it was just his head flopping because his neck was so loose.

He's lost a lot of his neck condition.

His body's still smoking, but he's just lost that neck condition.

He's not doing the specific training anymore, is what I worry.

Seemed that way to me as well, Jack.

Oh, well, let's not use him there.

Well, no, if he does reach out, he'll have to bring his neck strength before

we need to get him back at race race fitness.

I've been monitoring the WhatsApp between

Grace, who is our aerospace engineer and designer at university, and also Sam, who works in compositing.

And

he, of course, is the one that's going to be putting this whole thing together with different composites of like carbon, etc.

Really lightweight material with these injected molds, which is incredible.

Do you still want to play the credit for their company because they're paying for it?

Oh, absolutely.

Well, and truly.

Yeah, let's do that.

Twice if needs be.

The inside word conversations of Tor Hat construction.

Thanks to top stage advanced composites, we make cool stuff out of fiberglass and carbon.

And we wouldn't go anywhere except for top stage advanced composites when we get everything made, particularly tall hats.

Following this, I get a bit spooked when I try and go into the suggestion because they tend to just brush me off as someone who doesn't know what I'm talking about, which is true.

I do have some con they have, so in a snapshot, I'll tell you what they're talking about they have some concerns about getting it upright it can hold its own weight as a six meter hat but the actual maneuvering it from a horizontal arrival position yep to it being

will be on a flatbed truck too like oh yeah how are they going to trend that's not going on a roof rack like that has to be on a flatbed truck I've got another there's another person has reached out that does long trend

long trends long

snake relocations

No longer.

We've done a bloody anaconda.

That's not the name of his company.

But he does

transport long things.

Long John's trucking.

Yeah.

You see sometimes footage of them building windmills.

Yeah.

And they have to, on the back of the truck is one whole spine of a windmill.

Yep.

Close down a whole city.

He said, you guys haven't thought about.

the logistics to actually get this to site.

Let me do it.

He seemed like he's the guy.

But again, let's concentrate on getting the hat built by the film.

because cranes I'm always fascinated by cranes how they get because they have to build themselves yes we won't have that luxury crane we can't build the hat on the side it has to be one piece doesn't it well but should we crane it will we have to crane it on for structural integrity jack we will we may well that's what that's what they're talking about at the moment they're like they it will support its own weight getting it from horizontal it's a rival position but jack's right jack's right i mean it's only going to be 12 kilos we don't have to crane

but we've both but we both did tests earlier this week because we were talking about this off air and I was at the gym and I put a 15 kilo weight plate on my head just to feel it.

Now, obviously, the hat's going to be

more

comfortable than the weight plate on my head.

But even just sort of feeling that center of gravity, and

that's an extremely low center of gravity, it's still quite a balancing act.

And it made me just realize balance is the huge factor here.

You've gone mad if you think you can just lift the hat up straight and pop it on.

Oh, totally.

Someone will lower her on.

We will have to have scaffolding next to it yeah and it will have to be in a brace to be it will have to be like a rocket launch scaffolding yep and then the the supports come away and look if i can just ask now on the record could we have some dry ice that i think that would look cool

like they have on the rocket launch so it's like

supports are away and then the hat is freestanding on the head because the whoever's the pilot has a huge balance job on their hands yeah absolutely jack during the week i put um a big box of olive oil on my head and to

How many kilos?

It was 13.4

and two coffee table books.

I just had a pillow underneath it and was trying to balance some of that, but I felt the same thing as Haim did.

I mean, you've seen that video and your hands never leave.

Exactly.

Just

barely could let it go.

So it's going to...

Even just putting my hands down to my side with 15 kilos on your head, you just immediately go, if this thing falls, it's crushing toes.

It also makes it like forget about a chin strap.

you know how we were like oh could we have a chin strap could we know a chin strap it'll rip your head off if that thing falls

so you definitely don't want a chin strap on it um there's talk of putting a hard hat inside

the hat that's that which you tighten which has i find nerve-wracking because those hard hats hit so high i would say that but also that like that's like a bicamer to the boa system that tightens on your head but again you get that too high and it starts to fall i would prefer

wouldn't you i just think for safety reasons you actually want the bailout factor well that's one thing that did come up on the whatsapp which we'll get to it um other highlights was he said um this is from sam sometimes they use carbon nanotube paste for cladding and i just thought that was a cool thing to say yes from me for sure um

talk of the lead brim continues this is a brim um so the outer brim of the top hat is um has a counterweight in it so it can keep it it steady.

They're thinking of filling it with the lead.

This was the back and forth AI recreation with Sam and Grace talking about that aspect.

I'm just thinking about the counterweight sitting in the brim.

That's going to need to be a two-part mold.

Yep.

I'll mess around with the CAD and see if we can just get it with composites.

But most likely we'll need a counterweight.

I had a chat with my mate and he's happy to do the lead brim for us.

He just needs a CAD of the brim thickened up to suit lead internals.

he'll make a sand mold out of it then we'll lay up over

that all sounds good to me sort of that's good i just want to get sign-off from you three yeah yeah uh yeah it sounds just let us know what cad program you're using but it sounds yeah

pretty good to me sam then unleashed a series of questions that he said we need to discuss

and it was all in the one whatsapp

So I'm just going to

hit you with this one from Sam, and then I think we need to discuss all the the points.

Off you go.

I think this is where we're up to.

We either need to discuss or get approval regarding the following.

One, hard hat clasp used for the mounting.

Two, head diameter.

Who is wearing the hat?

Three, head stability for potential simulation.

Four, lead insert into brim for counterweight effect.

will significantly increase total weight, should assess structural integrity of the wearer's neck.

Five, possibly backup neck brace.

Non-structural, but there to prevent catastrophic neck failure.

That's what I'm worried about.

That is what I'm worried about.

So a couple of things.

I thought the lead insert was built into the current weight they had.

I thought they were already accounting for that.

It is, but

it will take it to around 15 kilos.

So I think HAIM's simulation in the gym was a good one.

We'll pop that up in one of our pipes.

Let's go from the top, though.

Hard hat clasp.

Do we want them to rethink that?

To me, it just seems too high on the head.

I would have thought the hat we want deeper on the head.

Yeah, I'd say you want the hat band to land somewhere between the eyebrows and the hairline.

As low as possible.

But again, there's a lot of puzzle, mate.

I refer you, I see above the phrase catastrophic neck failure.

If this thing's plonked on your heads and it's 15 kilos and it falls.

Yep.

Fall with it is what I'm going to say.

I'd absolutely go fall with it and just we'll have to.

You can't try and, yeah.

Yeah, you can't try and save it with your neck.

You're not saving 15 kilos.

But I just, I do think, I'm just popping it on the record that it's a lot of force.

That's why we need Danny Rick.

It's a lot of force to be going through someone's neck

in that moment.

So.

Are you doing calculations over there?

What are you writing down?

I'm drawing a picture of an idea.

Just wanted you guys to have a look at this.

And it's probably easier for me to just send it to you both now because over the other side of the desk, this is my idea.

I think we'll need something like this.

Again, for when, because a lot of what we're talking about here is stability and like what happens when it falls.

Will it snap a neck?

Will it, what's it going to do?

How tight do we want it on the head?

Obviously, the tighter it is, the better your balancing shot is.

But the higher the chance it's going to break your neck as it falls.

So I think we need

next to

whoever's driving it.

I've got two here.

Oh, that's interesting.

Yeah,

let me describe

tamers.

Yeah, two people know.

Two hat tamers.

You've got the central person who's the hat wearer and they're doing their best with their neck.

And the hat sits around about three times the height of the human.

But then alongside, you've got two people that are sit there corralling the hat.

Yeah, so very, very long sticks, maybe four to five meter long sticks with a big rubber stopper or a big buffer or even just a big soft catcher.

Yes.

Which means if it starts to fall, you've got a hat tamer that can catch it.

And obviously, the record attempt's over for that particular run.

Like you haven't set the record, but it stops

making it all the way to the ground and dying.

So would you need people on both sides of the hat?

And then you might need four, Jackie.

You might need four.

We might have a lot of hat tamers.

There's no rules about how many hat tamers we can have.

It's got a kind of a Jurassic Park vibe to me when they are all, you know, have the dinosaur, you know, the raptor or whatever and there's like 20 people trying to get it into their cage

that's great i i think that's a must so let's let's wonder if we could get them to throw that in the carbon mold as well and get us a um a few catches can i just throw another idea in here obviously a four or five meter stick is really heavy too we're gonna need slings

you'll need as bro you'll need a sling for the hat table very similar to the stick in to what the flag bearer has at the same time

that's what i'm thinking that's exactly what i'm thinking because they figured out they're like yeah no one can last that long just holding a stick do we get james tompkins along because we're going to need an extra person to success and he's got experience and he's going to get the awesome forceum yeah the awesome forceome so do this he he could he could easily be one of the tamers for us but he's and now are we at risk that if the hat falls it could fall on one of our tamers and we're they've got helmets on yeah but i i think it'll be a glance i mean it's not and it's it's not like do you know what i mean it's not going to crush you.

It's a very light hat.

It's a light hat.

It's really the pilots facing the most risk.

And if you've got a big hat-taming stick and you can't defend yourself and you let the hat fall on you,

that's kind of on you.

You deserve the broken foot.

And we will give them helmets.

We'll obviously give them helmets, maybe shoulder pads

at a stretch.

And that's enough.

Okay.

Yeah.

Forget health.

Like, we'll give you a face guard.

Who else?

So I think we've got...

Flagbird before that we could possibly get down.

Anna Mirs.

She might be used to this.

I mean, Jess Fox.

Jess Fox.

yeah like absolutely love to have jess's expertise yep because again you remember you get someone like jess on board she'd almost be a good pilot because some of the training she does is wild but you get someone like jess on board and and they've got

she can never compete again don't want to break jess fox

we

she would be she'd be good with the prodding sticks then because she's held up the flag and she's like

steve hooker steve hooker knows how to hold a big stick oh yeah

absolutely gold middleest pole vital So you get him down with the stick, potentially.

Anyway, we'll come back to the actual hat.

They're asking at the moment who's wearing it.

I think we don't get to that now, but we need to have some kind of competition.

Jack, do you want to throw your hat in the ring?

Or your head in the ring?

I don't anymore.

At the start, I wanted the glory of it, but

I'm actually worried about the danger of it.

Okay, so it's a two-man race.

It is, Ando.

And I dare say it's now, it has a different feel to it, doesn't it?

Because

I think it should be just one of us.

I think we need to know who the pilot is for head measuring reasons or just for the day.

We just need to know who the pilot is.

Do we let the hat decide?

How?

Do we, when we make the hat, do we tip it upside down?

Put two names in the hat.

Pick a name out of the world store sat.

So we drop a name in the hat, let it flutter down to the bottom, might take an hour.

And then we get up on it.

Well, we have to get on it.

We have a magnets.

You know how they do that.

Or a little hook and we put a fishing line down and

you just put the fishing line in there and wait till it brings up.

Well, I was thinking a magnet.

A name.

A magnet would be easier.

Just wait how it won't always get both of them.

Yeah, but it might magnet both.

Right.

Well, could you have it so like whatever's the outermost one is it?

Or if it only gets one?

Or be the innermost because it caught it first.

Maybe that then.

Or do you think just one?

I mean, I like going fishing.

That's like hook it.

If you had a name with a hook, you could just jangle it down it might come up empty a few times but eventually you get one of the names i don't like the chances of getting a name on a hook down the bottom six

you put a title

but you create a wide loop down there for the hook to catch onto okay and so we do it'll be easily catchable names okay but then the hat

like the what's the hat in harry potter jack the sorting hat yeah but how do we turn it upside down

they were worried about even getting it standing upright with giant effort but i don't you think

even

to tick off on our way to the record, the longest hat to draw a name out of.

Like, we'll just actually, we'll pick that up.

There'll be two records.

There'll be two records.

What I'm saying is like, before we even get to the launch pad, we'll just have one for free.

Yep.

So we let the hat decide.

Because you know, I'm about the same head shape.

Yeah.

Let's just go build it for build it for roughly us.

Yep.

Have a slight tightening mechanism on it if you want.

Yep.

We're really going to need those hat wranglers because the other thing is for the hat tamers, it's not so much to protect the neck of the pilot i mean it is but it's also because if that thing falls even onto device

it'll snap yeah and we want multiple goes and we want there's nothing to say we can't have 20 shots at this so

really as long as the hat wranglers do their job we can keep having attempts love it let the hat decide

I've left it two weeks to see if

the initial response would die down.

It was a negative response to me, Ham, about something I did to Jack a couple of weeks ago.

Oh, I know, I know, I've seen it play out.

Yeah.

And look at people mention it to me.

But people have come up to me and like almost console me.

Like I've lost a family member or a pet or something and go, I heard what Andy did to you.

Yes.

And then pat me on the shoulder.

Yes.

And this is, of course, reading out a golf score that you had that got sent to me.

And it's divided.

I mean, people that don't play golf understood what was happening and definitely felt.

You could hear, you could, I mean, it's not hard to tell when a man's having his dignity ripped out of his soul

live on a podcast and laid out to bear.

I mean, it would almost,

it was up there with going, Jack, actually got an email here from the girl you lost your virginity with.

And she,

you know, I won't read the whole thing, but clumsy rush is in there.

We're going round and round like you didn't know what was going on.

I mean, that's pretty damning stuff in there.

In fact, let's read it out.

That's what it felt like.

It was wild.

It was wild.

It was too much, especially for someone, you know, I'm in the same boat.

We're both at the beginning of whether it's golf or anything you're trying to learn.

You know, you don't want your,

you don't want your earnest attempts to get better, persected live on air.

And so when I arrived.

uh the golf club senators beach golf club and the guy behind there scotty goes oh

when i when i went up to pay he goes, oh,

what you did to Jack that then Scotty, Scotty's a lovely fellow.

And I was like, all right.

Yeah.

That would be some silver lining, though, if you start getting blacklisted from golf clubs because you've

got a small giggle at the

let me finish.

He went, oh,

loved it.

Anyway, a lot of people have been direct messaging me and emailing hamishenny.com.

I'm sure you've got these on your site.

Oh, sorry, Andre, can I read a quick one?

It actually comes from Callum, the guy that sent it in in the first place.

And he said, it's, you know, this is the guy that spotted Jack in the wild and saw him struggling with his cart that had run out of batteries.

And then he says, look, I only sent, you know, I only sent the scorecard in more as evidence that I'd seen Jack and that I'd been there.

And he goes, but

I just, he said, the fallout's been horrible for him.

He said,

for him?

Yeah, for him, because he feels like

he caused this chain of if he'd never sent anything, I could never have read anything.

he goes my regular Sunday group have ousted me some some invites to popular courses I had coming up have mysteriously cancelled I'm a pariah at the club because people assume I support Andy's vicious attack

he said there's I don't think there's anything that can be done about it then he says unless

maybe just thinking here maybe if Andy's contacts at Tailor Maids set me up with I don't know maybe like a nine degrees stiff QI35

degree R7 mini QI35 five wood pitching wedge some irons maybe a 50 54 and a 58 degree mg4 wedges something like that and maybe 34 inch new spider Z putter something like that

help him he was wondering I don't see how Callum becomes the victim in North

I would love it if he weaseled a free suit and flogs out of this

walks away with a brand new car

and that hasn't happened to him that's just a weasel maneuver from him um

But a lot of people have written in saying, can you apologize?

And can you do it in song?

Because we know that the number one way we apologize on this show is through song.

Of course, I will.

Jack, I feel terrible.

Hence, I got in early this morning and put this together.

I'm a very sorry man

who desires nothing more to be forgiven for his sin.

Jack is very new to golf, so I should have supported him.

A sorry man am I

as golf is just a game you play against yourself

and no one else

so comparing Al Jack to others has brought me shame

I'm just a very sorry man

What song is this?

I'm a very sorry man

And I want to make it clear that what I did just wasn't great when you were starting out at golf You can't expect to hit them straight A sorry man am I

to cause a giggle fest

Comments were made

that threw some shade

when Jack was simply out there giving his best

I'm just a very sorry man.

But while I'm giving sorry's out,

there's a few more I should do.

I feel sorry for the trees, yes, the bark and the leaves.

That Jack hits with his slice every time he forgets to follow through.

And while I'm giving sorry's out,

I feel sorry for his buggy.

It can't even make it round as it covers too much ground, zigzagging every ferry.

You would have to stop three times for a plug-in

And while I'm on this sorry train I offer one to the maintenance man

Having to mend all Jack's diverts Must cost him a billion a year in sand So while I'm giving sorry's out

There's another I should do

To Taylor Maid who sends him balls

that he doesn't pay for at all

They get lost before the cup and the factory can't keep up.

But I'm very, very sorry, Jack, to you.

Give an odd ending there, but yeah, it's a key change and we couldn't.

Anyway.

Oh, what a shame that it was a backhanded sorry song.

What a shame.

With an attempted weasel in it.

It was just sorry to everybody, Jack.

No, that is true.

All bass is covered.

Except the first part.

In all seriousness, because usually we do the song to like a well-known shit.

I felt like we were that night that we went and watched Andy's theater show again when he had to go back and perform in his high school.

I was waiting for it to become singing in the rain or something.

I was like, this must have a bit that we all recognize.

Now, I know I've just missed one of the classics.

What is that an AI

is that just give?

Is it an original?

No, that's original.

Well, it wouldn't surprise us.

It is from My Fair Lady.

Oh my god.

What's the original lyric?

Um,

Is he a sorry man in that or is he something else, man?

Or is he a jolly, jolly man?

He's an ordinary man.

Ordinary man.

Yeah, because I was just like,

where's the hook?

Where's the Freder stare tap dance with?

Hey,

look, I keep coming in.

People wanted to share ideas about power moves.

Sometimes it happens to you.

You realize that you've been done.

Sometimes it's the best way to

feel the power just whoosh out of your body and go to the other person.

And you're like, well, I'd love to have that feeling on the inside of it.

And it's a cautionary tale.

You have to tell everybody so that doesn't happen to them.

Of course, power moves.

Can I also say.

Not until I had an 11-year-old of my own did I realize what a great book the power moves book is for i'm going to say young boys aged sort of nine to 14.

yeah i called you on teaches them a lot i called you on the uh in your

day and he said he was reading them from the back seat just engrossed in power moves it's basically a manual for life yep i feel like i could leave on a business trip for weeks i'm not going to but i could and just leave the power moves book and go it's all in here son

live for years and go scruffle his head and go i've i've distilled everything i know into this book And if anyone, I won't, I won't.

You do still need to

love them.

Yeah.

But if anyone decides to read it all on YouTube, Gordy might one day hear it as well.

An audio book of Palmer's would be nice.

I guess that's kind of what this segment is.

Let's not be too hasty to

completely erode the iceberg we're standing on.

We do need a little something.

Hamishandy.com, of course.

Hawgs is a madman.

Price is still there after he overordered on Power Moves book too.

I think we do have a lot of version two.

Do we have any version one?

I don't think so.

No, that's been sold out for a long time.

But version two, bloody good.

That was one Sonny was reading the other day.

Ando, haircut power move.

Oh, we've had a few in the past.

My actual favorite haircut power move, which I think is in the Power Moves book too, which isn't today's one, was the one where when you want to shave your head, go and ask for a short back and sides.

And then after they do it, go, God, you know what?

Just shave it all off.

Just

make it look like they didn't get

not described.

But this is another good one.

It comes in from Jared V.B.

If you're in line waiting to have a haircut and you do have some time to kill, when you're up next, let the person that was behind you go ahead.

Just look at their hair and say, you obviously need this more than I do.

I love it.

This one came in from Georgia.

She goes, it's a niche move that can only be used a few times in life, if at all.

And it's when you or your partner is pregnant and you're at the 20-week mark.

Okay,

so very niche power move.

But any new or upcoming parents?

I mean,

if you've just found out you're pregnant, get excited and know that this is, you know, merely weeks away.

During the 20-week scan, wait for your partner to say, it has your nose or any other feature and simply reply, I'd hope so.

He writes, implying that their nose is a bit shit.

We forget it.

Why do you just have to use that at the 20-week mark?

You can use it anytime after that.

Anytime anyone remarks on a baby, I suppose.

But I mean, it definitely, definitely

different levels of danger depending on whether you are the mum or the dad, I reckon, in that situation.

Agreed.

I think this one plays out for mums better, as Jordan puts.

This is from Tom Peake.

He said, you've got a bit of time on your hands.

Print out a flyer that says, we buy crap cars for cheap.

Stick it on your mate's windshield.

Love it.

Another car one hand.

This is an accidental power move, Tim writes in.

He said, I parked my bike at work and saw someone was sneaking a park in the director of another company's car park.

I said, careful, mate.

I heard that guy's a real princess about his car space.

He said, this is my car space.

Good.

That's good.

Intricate one here from Brett Honey, but it's good.

Good.

Said, I witnessed a cracking power move at the pub a couple of weeks ago.

I walked up to the urinal.

There was an older gentleman there on the left already.

So I assumed the far right position in what is a three-person urinal.

Yes.

Okay.

So you've got old guy on the left, empty spot, and then Brett's on the right.

Yep.

That is the correct approach for

females listening.

That is absolutely

any other way.

It would almost be

strange when someone goes.

Someone would call the cops if they went middle.

Yeah.

Someone goes middle.

Because as I was doing my business, another young fella approaches to take the middle position, which is allowed.

That's fine.

Yep.

The only one available.

The old bloke on the left says, Come on, we've got room for a small one.

It has to be an old guy, doesn't it?

So much better.

I need to share with you guys something that happened the other night and give,

I think, you know, hopefully in a humble way,

in a non-pretentious way, like give our listeners, give our audience who we adore a peek into the life of what it's like to be a billboard slash rent-a-car celebrity.

When's that deal finished?

Yeah,

you tell me.

Did you check the contract?

Never.

I am a permanent fixture at Sydney and Melbourne Airport.

I think it's just at Sydney and Melbourne now.

I feel like I took up golf because he did an ad where he was golfer.

Was so embarrassed that he was being long.

He decided truth.

A lot of people see that.

I will say this.

Those Hertz billboards have been up for a while.

And they feel like when a testament to the products are different.

You look different.

rudy rudy my daughter said that the other she goes you look quite young yeah you look young man and i was like well it was i probably took that photo about half your life ago like it's been a few years with those billboards right so if you've been to sydney or melbourne airport and i think they do appear at other airports around the country um you will still see me featured as a beloved member of the hurts team on the out of the goodness of your heart yeah love job uh one of the causes i'm passionate about yeah i'm passionate about a lot of causes but certainly finding the best rental car company for you and your needs is one of my causes no money exchange hands whatsoever uh no not physically hand to hand

i can say i can say hand on heart no there was no good money exchange hand to hand so i landed melbourne airport um the other night i was just down i was down quickly for a couple of days That's why I'm sitting here in Melbourne.

Did you go through it?

Just quickly, did you go through a period of like, oh, God, it's there again?

And now you're at the other side of that?

Or have you always...

I don't even notice it.

Really?

Really?

I mean,

I would get sent it once a week by friends, right?

Who are doing the

slightly interesting thing.

Only a few people have noticed this, but

the thing about the campaign, well, originally the Let's Go campaign was Tom Brady in America.

So they go, hey, this is the ad we want to do.

And it's Tom Brady.

And I'm like,

just don't tell the American head you're reporting to.

So how many like, what is the Super Bowl called in Australia?

Dori, Dori, Dori, don't worry about that.

So

it was kind of a little bit modeled off that campaign.

Holding the car keys and saying, let's go.

A couple of people have made some like keys in the bowl party jokes.

Like, oh,

like I'm advertising swingers' parties because I am holding car keys.

It feels like to me, like, you're driving us all.

Yeah.

Which is not in the service.

That's exactly the opposite

point of caring.

I'm not sure if you're a drug in my car and you're not there to drive me.

No, do it yourself.

That's our whole motto.

That's our whole thing.

There's a whole other rank of people that will drive you at the airport.

That's not their product.

That's doing the other thing where you drive yourself.

So land in Melbourne, yeah.

And the billboards are still there.

Each time I wonder, like, I wonder if they'll still be up, they're still there.

At Melbourne Airport, there's obviously the terminal, and you have to go across to the car park.

Like, there's a multi-story car park in the middle.

That's where all the car rental offices are next to each other.

I had said, I had booked the car and I had said something like, I'll be in at like two o'clock in the afternoon.

Then a few things changed.

And I was like, no, no, I'm going to go after the kids kids are in bed.

So like last flight down, you arrive at like 10 o'clock at night.

I go across to the office

and say to the lady in there, I said, sorry,

I think I said I'd be here at two o'clock because they want to know when you're coming in.

I think I said to be here at two o'clock, but I'm obviously eight hours late.

I said, but,

you know, we're not going to get upset at the family.

I said, I think, you know, all good because we're all in the same family.

We're waiting for a bit of recognition.

And she said, sorry, so what, what family what name is it under

no

no no i'm just saying i'm part of the hurts family and she said it's your name is hurts

no no sorry my name's uh it should be under blake amish blake i said but i'm i'm just making i'm just saying because i'm part of the i work for hertz i'm a guy on the billboards

and then Behind her is a giant Hertz billboard.

She looks around, but it's just a guy in a business suit and another lady, like it's a generic one and so

she looks at the billboard then looks back at me i go oh well i'm actually i'm not that guy

but i weirdly that she would have recognized that guy more than

i guess she sits in front of it every day i go but i'm the guy in the terminal i go to the terminal billboards yeah and she goes i don't go in the terminal

do you want to walk her across

I think they're closing up because I was on the last flight, but

I think if we asked the security guard, they could let us in.

I could show you some of the signs if you want.

Yeah, so no, I did.

Go to the tournament.

Yep.

And then that's when I realized, of course, you don't.

You don't fly to work.

You don't.

I hope you don't live on the gold.

You don't fly to Melbourne every day to work here.

No.

No, so I just had to do a bit of ah, well.

Just, just, just, this is the car, thanks.

And I'll see you at the Christmas party.

And I'd imagine exceptional service.

Unbelievable.

We wouldn't let you you down.

Thanks for listening.

The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.