2025 Ep 300 - ⁠Who Is Hamish's Special Guest?

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A listener production.

Activate your internet.

Because the Haymission Andy podcast starts in three,

two.

Sorry, still buffering.

One.

Ahoy to my medulla.

Hey, Mish.

Good.

We're back in a region of hopefully non-movie things.

I don't know what a medulla is.

Could be a beer.

Could be a bone of the foot, but we'll play on.

Yeah,

feels like a beer, doesn't it?

Could be a beer.

You're thinking Medullo, are we?

I am, but

in such a saturated market, one vowel change would get board approval.

Yep.

Ahoy to my cortex, Jack.

Ahoy.

Ahoy, brains.

Are we brain?

Brain parts?

No.

No.

Too easy.

I think when I say mine, it would be the giveaway.

Ahoy to myself.

The cuticle.

Oh, you have parts of the nail.

Or just the finger.

Oh, no.

What's the other?

Yeah, good, good call.

No, there's another part that has a cuticle.

There's another part of your body that's not the nail, that has a cuticle?

Toes, toes.

No, not the

nail.

Very, very, very...

I mean, I've always thought it was chafing, but is it your nipple?

You've got a lot of it on your face, the two of you.

Oh, your hair.

Yes.

Hair cuticle.

Hair cuticle, of course.

Yeah.

So the cuticle is the outermost layer of the cortex, Jack, the middle layer.

You've got the keratin and the medulla is the innermost layer.

composed of cells filled of air, heyme.

I'm a medulla fella.

Also ahoy to Callum, who went to hamishney.com to let us know what he's been up to.

Ahoy boys.

I was listening back and on episode 133 i noticed that jack doesn't like to go to friends weddings now knowing this andy are you going to not invite jack to your wedding

yes great news the flashbang and run

andy well this is interesting and andy's

jack actually jack on a scale of 0% to 100 100 being a lock what percentage do you think you are to be invited to Andy's wedding?

I think now I'm very high.

I would say in the 90s, only because just this week gone by, he said to Bianca and I, he talked about his wedding in a way that suggested we would be there.

But he mentioned a date.

He did.

I know whenabouts in the year or next year it is.

And then Jack also in the same conversation said to me,

Where are we going to be invited?

And did me pointing at you saying, I better be invited to your wedding on the podcast live change your decision I said it did have an impact yeah and he

talked to me about that afterwards going because I do like obviously I do want a real invite and now I'll never know if it's real because I you didn't give yourself the chance to yeah

you

stormed the castle early well if you want to reset things Jack so what do I do and just say I can I can

it's not a Harry Potter spell uninvited

if you want me to take that out of my mind and then revisit revisit the list, you'll have to forget what we talked about the other night, you and Bianca.

Oh, you now run the risk of not going.

Because actually why the conversation came up is he said we're having such a hard time with the guest list, got to make some difficult decisions.

That's a man trying to soften you.

Because he didn't confirm them.

He certainly didn't confirm them.

That wasn't your impression.

It sounded very concrete.

The concrete was just a little bit different.

Were you inviting them?

No,

I've got to start recording such conversations and listening them back to ascertain the tone of the question.

Come ask the question.

Because I also spoke to Andy this week.

It's not unusual for us to speak every day.

One of the days, I can't remember which one it was, Ando, that you also talked to me about the time of year.

It would be, was that an invite to me?

You are cemented.

Interesting.

Yeah.

No, that's all right.

I'm not surprised by that.

That would be a huge shock if Hamish wasn't invited to the wedding.

No, I'm just saying,

Andy didn't say the words, Ham, I'd like to invite you and Zoe to my wedding.

Um, but we talked about uh the time of the year it might be and talked about keeping dates for you.

And it sounds like that's I thought that sounded like the similar conversation that you had.

No, very different.

But it's roughly

sounds they are all the things that we talked about as well.

I'm just interested, but mine in Andy's mind very much was an invitation, and in yours, it was two friends talking about things.

Yeah, I think the slight difference is

I rang Hamish to tell him

where I got asked a question from Jackie.

Oh, again, the butt in.

Pushy boy.

So he's a pushy boy.

That makes it sound.

Now I don't know what question he's talking about, but that makes it sound like, hey, we're coming to you.

What are you getting?

They just asked about how's planning going.

Which is very different to me excitedly reading Hamish.

Because Beck was in the conversation as well.

So what a natural thing to ask a couple.

Yeah, yeah, that is true.

Interesting.

Watch this.

I'll say, I'll say, Piang and I had a chat on the way home.

It's like,

I guess it sounds like we're going to Annie's wedding.

Definitely.

Sounded like.

Interesting.

Do you know, Jack, if it is held, obviously, Annie Beck live in Melbourne, if there's a suspicion it might be held

outside of Melbourne, if

it's a regional area or something like that, and it's all expenses paid, how much would that sting if you did not go

i i would only want to be there to congratulate the loving couple and no other reason that's why

just so now we'll get back up and that certainly will ease the guest list burden

hey you want to the top of the show today yes i do yes i do keen uh

listeners and observers of the title track that comes up in your car or on your phone or whatever when you play this episode will know that it's episode 300 today yes

promises have been made by me in the past you did you said to get a big guest for episode 300.

now

we don't have guests like we don't normally have guests on the show so i thought it has to be someone we break the rule

special episode 300 rules rules rules well it's not a rule we just don't really do it but it's not a rule vibes are vibes i thought to myself well we do have to get someone

and this idea actually came in from not one but two listeners and i thought you know what if it crossed my mind and now if it's the will of the people

now we're beginning to see if there's a demand for a special 300 episode guest

i thought it's got to be someone that's relevant to the show just getting beyonce on won't make sense to us and it won't make sense to her and out of respect to her i didn't even try

but that's that's not what i'm thinking yeah i'm thinking we get someone on that's an important part of the show, that there's unfinished business for, that there is a hunger for people to hear of on the show.

I am, of course, talking of someone so special that I have made an opener for them.

I thought it would be, it's time

to have the

probable actual

chosen one.

of special skills come on the show because last night I dreamt about the king of the the north Charlie that can detect true north oh you thought the speed undresser yep don't

the true king of the north from the conclave who did get a 2-3 vote in the conclave and many have said is the true king of the north and the chosen one of special skills I thought after I had this dream about him last night I was like oh my god Now I found that scroll, remember, a few weeks ago?

That's right.

I didn't forget about it.

And now I'm dreaming about him.

Wow.

What is the skill?

What is dreaming about the undressing guy?

What is the universe?

Too fast of a dream.

What is the universe trying to do?

I could have plenty of time to dream of both.

One dream's only 2.1 seconds long.

What is the universe trying to tell me when I'm having a dream about the guy that can detect true north

from anywhere?

And it's telling me to get him on.

It has been written and now it has been dreamed.

The chosen one was not who it seemed.

His reign has barely just begun.

The true king of the north

almost certainly is the chosen one.

So fulfilling both the prophecy dream and my promise to you and the people that I would get a big guest for show 300.

As soon as I'd had the dream this morning, I jumped into action and said, We must get the North Man to come in.

Yes.

He is busy.

He is at work.

He has an important job.

He is a paramedic.

Can't rip a paramedic off shift.

So before the show began, I came in early.

And just as good as having him on,

I gave him a buzz as my special 300th episode to you guys.

Please enjoy.

Hello, Charlie speaking.

Charlie, it's Hamish, mate.

How are you?

Good, how are you, Hamish?

Mate, really good.

And first of all, congrats on all the buzz.

Oh, thank you.

It's been a...

I wasn't expecting it.

Yeah.

Well, it's building.

It's building.

I'm sure you're feeling it at your end.

Yeah,

a lot of people have been sending me things.

Okay.

Well, don't, I mean, heavy is the head that wears the crown, especially if you're the king of the north.

But don't let it distract you.

And hopefully the metal of the the crown doesn't interfere with whatever magnetic powers you're using for your skill.

But,

mate, thanks for taking the call at short notice.

You're my special surprise for the 300th episode.

Oh, that is huge news.

It is very big news.

And I think there's no one that could be bigger because after all the drama of thinking we had the chosen one, then realizing maybe the real chosen one was right under our nose.

And then I found the secret scroll.

And then this is the bit you don't know.

I actually had a dream about you last night being the chosen one.

one.

Wow,

I'm honored.

That's beautiful.

Isn't that crazy?

So, I know you're busy today and you couldn't come in, but I wanted to quickly, because I'm going to play this to the guys.

Are you in an area where you could spin around at the moment?

Not at the moment, but I could.

Are you in a car?

Yeah, I am.

I'm a paramedic.

I'm at work.

Okay, well, right now, can you point north?

Yeah, absolutely.

Go for it.

I'm pointing directly north right now.

Okay, now check it with a phone or something.

Okay, I'll check it now.

Just put you on.

Yep.

I'll have my colleague here confirm with me that I'm pointing north.

Compass?

Look at that.

Is that north?

That is bang on north.

Incredible.

Oh, baby.

Incredible.

What a gift for the 300.

Thank you very much.

This chapter is obviously not over, but that's just a little taster of what could be to come when we finally see it in the flesh.

And again, apologies for, you know, I should have got this organized more in advance, but I didn't know I was going to have the dream in my defense.

No, I can't blame you.

Good boy.

All right.

Thank you.

My liege, true King of the North.

Speak to you soon.

Thanks, Amy.

Have a good one.

See you, mate.

Incredible.

Oh,

and you heard there from his paramedic friend, Incredible.

And I assume that's the reaction to seeing the North Point.

And they would have assumed you'd stop recording then.

So that was a bit of a lie, like for all of us thinking, oh, they might have been faking it.

That was real.

You heard there, an actual paramedic, a lifesaving hero of the community.

Then thinking he was off air, go, okay, now I can express my true feelings, having seen the king of the north just do his trick.

And I quote, ho-ho, incredible.

So happy 300 boys.

Bit of a special treat there.

I couldn't believe it when he pulled that off live.

And if then Beyonce wouldn't have been out of point north.

Don't you reckon?

Better, better resolve?

Yeah.

Because now the legend grows, doesn't it?

The myth builds.

And you just get the feeling.

You don't know when, you don't know how.

Some ritual will take place and we will see the King of the North do it.

And perhaps

perhaps it comes back perhaps special skills one day maybe not even this year

but one day the king of the north will do his tricky

i don't know if you guys do this but there's a topic i want to talk about here that my wife is definitely guilty of and i feel like andy

I feel like you'd be a 50-50.

Jack, I don't reckon you'd do this.

Okay.

But

someone that's organized.

Yeah, it's about a rule.

Okay.

I reckon if you're rulesy, you do it.

Okay.

Or you at least crosses your mind.

I'm very much of the let it slide variety.

Yes.

I'm rulesy.

You're rulesy.

I like breaking them.

But I think you'd, I reckon I'd give you a 50-50 on this one.

Zoe, I've realized there are a few incidences in the last couple of weeks.

She likes to police the police.

So she likes to go,

they should be doing that.

They shouldn't be doing that.

Really?

Right.

So the key key one came the other night.

We were going out for dinner.

We're like driving.

We're going to this pizza place, right?

Kind of just a cool suburb.

Got us, it's going to try some street parking, some backstreet parking.

So we're circling for quite some time looking for a park.

In a no standing zone, there's a police car parked, which, because we've been looking for a park for 10, 15 minutes, those furious.

She's like, unbelievable.

She goes, they can't do that.

They can't do that because they're the cops.

And I go, well, I think they can do that.

They are the law.

Like, that's, they can, i honestly they're not gonna get done for doing it right are they in the car no it's parked just parked and i was like honey that's probably kind of one of the reasons no standing zones exist it's like you need a bit of space around but i also think just just i think it's a perk like they have to deal with

some really annoying stuff like i always sit there and go like when you know they're chasing someone or something something bad's happening and i'm you can't pull the car over and jump out and get it get the parking slip and wait for it to print out we know how long those printers take when you're we can't yeah if you're waiting for the cops to come and help you you can't have them circling the block we could get a park

guys it's 730 redfern 730.

how are we going to get a park no chance so she anyway

they can't do that right they can't do that so i'm explaining this to her i think they can do that i think that's we you know it's we can't do that so they can do that yes anyway then we look across and there's like a kebab place and that there's two cops standing there and they're just waiting for dinner and she goes oh my god they've they've just parked there so we can get chippies oh my god this is that someone should report that

and i'm kind of laughing it i'm like but again honey i like that they park there to get chips because they got to eat like they're going to be fighting crime all night we have to feed them we can't like imagine if you got robbed and the cops are like sorry we're not we didn't chase them because we're we're exhausted because we didn't get dinner because we couldn't find a park oh my god but the other feed these guys the other thing ham is if they'd taken a park, that's a park you and Zoe can't.

Great point.

Didn't even say that.

Didn't even say that.

We should be furious if they park normally.

Exactly.

Zoe gets in trouble because she's short and she, quote, took a tallie.

So tall girls, you know, sometimes get angry if short girls take a tallie.

Yeah.

Because they're like, we need the tall guys for us.

Short closer still talking about car parks.

No, we'll have carriers.

Have we got parks?

It's a slight assign.

It's a slight assign.

We're messing with the analogies.

Anyway, so she's furious,

say about the chippy shop, right?

And she's like, she's like, who, she goes, in all seriousness, who do I talk to about this?

Really?

And I go, make a citizen's arrest.

Like, see how you go.

See how you go.

Because

if you're, if you're, if you're like, I'll back you up, honey, because I love you and you're my wife.

So I urge you not to if you want to make a citizen's arrest for illegal parking.

But it's actually the parking inspector that could still put a parking ticket on them, i'd imagine ballsy ballsy ballsy ballsy because you just don't need can of worms there anyway the other ones she polices the police for is

when

like they might put a siren on for a few seconds and then they turn it off oh yeah maybe just to get around a corner

or just to move in traffic she that i was like what what is he what was that what was that that's like

i'm more on the side for this one i can't do improper use of the siren again

It was like ready, steady, like, you know, it was a false start.

But don't we don't know?

Don't they do that to tell someone to pull over?

Like it's a bit of a...

Sometimes there's that.

But you do see it where they just want to hop around a bit of traffic, essentially.

The rest of us are in traffic.

Instead of a horn, isn't it?

They actually use it instead of a horn.

We would get way more respect

with a siren.

I mean, I would use it all the time.

But again, to our point earlier we need them to be able to get places faster why should we be wanting them to be held up yeah i mean don't we want the speed of justice to be faster yeah let's get our cops moving moving quick like i don't think we need this the other one that happened the other day is we're driving along sirens right so we all kind of merge left

and it was a fire vehicle that goes past it was one of those ones that's just a four-wheel drive yep that that's just you know like painted like a fire truck and it's fire services but it's whatever it's like I don't know.

The fire chief is just driving it.

And so he goes, what's that?

What's that about?

He shouldn't be doing that.

And I go, why not?

And she goes, well, just to fire a car.

She goes, he's obviously not going to a fire.

He might be going to a fire.

I don't know what he is.

No hose.

You don't have to.

Don't have a hose because he was born at the fire.

He's like, shouldn't be allowed a siren.

No hose.

No hose.

So

pulling him over and checking whether he's got a hose?

He'll explain that to the fire bouncer when he turns up to see if he gets let in to the society.

You're coming in here, mate.

Yeah.

Where's your hose?

My mate's coming.

He's already here.

Preparations.

And manufacturing of a tall hat continues as three men strive to break the world record of wearing the tallest hat.

Requires someone to wear a hat.

The hat has to be a regular hat style.

And you have to walk 10 meters with it on your head.

We've got an elite team working on it.

We've got Sam and Grace.

Grace is an engineer at uni

and

Sam, he is in carbon fiber manufacturing.

Look, they've been working on ham and I've obviously got access to a WhatsApp at which it just pings off occasionally and they're back at it.

And I kind of get to watch them go about making this thing.

I did get a sense of what the cost was going to be for the hat.

Right?

Because on previous episodes, Hamish made it sound like they were doing it out of the goodness of their heart because they just wanted to see a really tall hat.

Well, I mean, I was more thinking of their time, their labor charge.

I don't feel like they're...

Are they running?

Are they running a timesheet over this?

They're not running a timesheet.

This is mainly just materials and the things required.

Not since we got fleeced by the digital horse, would we have left ourselves that open?

If we'd have accidentally given the impression that they could just bill us freely for their time without negotiating a cap or a rate for that time, that would have been quite a side door.

I chatted to Sam about it.

He said his boss is happy

to do it in kind.

in exchange for a mention of the business.

Now, before...

you okay with that, John?

Well, before we make the decision, I was just gonna, I'm gonna, I'm not gonna say the number, but I want to hold up

how much the hat is gonna cost in just the materials.

Just

and the construction.

Construction time and

just one person on it.

And there's equipment.

I guess it's like, yeah, you've got to like use the special machinery and stuff.

Yep.

It's crashed to talk about numbers, so I'm just going to hold it up on a piece of paper.

Well, you can't even say it for the podcast listeners.

I don't think so.

Do you think it would ruin people's enjoyment of this?

I do.

Okay.

This is the minimum cost.

Fuck this.

No, it's not.

It can't be.

You're not doing the Euros thing where they have the decimal point in the wrong spot, are you?

That is the best possible outcome price.

There's no way it's worth it.

So.

It's more expensive than Cong.

Yes.

So I just wanted to say to you you guys, would we accept their offer to do that?

How can they absorb that?

Well, he's happy to do it in kind for a promotion for the business.

Mate.

So we have to work with them.

Jack will work with him.

Jack will come and work there for two months.

Jack will stand out at the front with a guitar and spook for them.

That's how much we'd love that.

Are we happy to include their reference then?

I still feel I feel almost guilty for them.

So they're going to give us that amount of materials and labor

just because we mention what their carbon fiber making business that's what happens that's what the sponsors do jack this is weaseling 101 i know but

you're just not going to get your value back i don't know well i think what they think they are and jack we shouldn't be saying that we should be saying yes you're what's happening to what kind of weasel lord are you you're the one that you're the one that this is your whole economy

are you annoyed jack because you say to yourself could i've been weaseling something else to that value yeah i've now i've thought like maybe i've been weaseling too long.

You could have got a sauna.

You could have got a sauna.

For that price, you could get a really nice sauna.

Should we just build the world's tallest sauna?

In my backyard.

Should we build a wooden top out of my bed?

Sorry, for people who don't follow Jack's Instagram, as soon as he became unable to dream of dreams of building his own sauna, it's going to be a peter-out.

Anyway, can I accept that you guys both agree that we'll do the mention?

Yes, great, because I've built it into the opener.

Tell the cows come home.

Yeah, great.

The inside word.

Conversations of Tor Hat Construction.

Thanks to Topstage Advanced Composites.

We make cool stuff out of fiberglass and carbon.

Seamless.

That name again is Topstage.

Top Stage.

Topstage.

I cannot say it enough.

And we are very thankful.

of them and for them.

And as they are to us.

Now where we left things last,

we're talking about about maybe migrating to a sombrero being the hat because of a wide brim and whether we're going to get into technicality problems because a top hat has a smaller brim and they were saying for the weight of a huge hat on uh sitting on someone's head, it a wider brim with lead in the far right, far edge of the brim would help counterweight.

And I think the word used was an absurdly wide brim.

Yeah.

And that's what led us to sombrero.

Where are we at, Ando?

Well, I was meant to bring that that up with them, but then I came back playing golf, came back, and they were away.

They'd done a lot of work just in this four or five hours.

So I didn't get to get in there and say, hey, we're thinking of changing that,

right?

So this was the most alarming bit of back and forth we had from Grace and Sam.

You'll hear it.

And then I'd love to get your take, guys, on what you thought we were doing.

Hey, Sam.

Just checking if there is specific height we are aiming for.

Record is currently 5.4-ish meters.

I reckon 6 meters is very achievable.

Oh, I thought we were going for 10 meters.

Haha.

Oh, shit.

Haha.

Yeah, we can.

I did only send you a 10-meter design because I misheard 5.4 is 9.4.

But 10 can be done.

Wow.

So that

means that it feels late in the piece to be talking about the height of the app.

That's how likes I was.

I was like, hang on.

No, no, no, no, no.

Now that might be contributing to the number.

Yes.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

So we could realistically, if that's just for materials, we could cut that number in half.

And again,

you know, on our side of the fence, if we were real weasels, we'd be looking at the most material in a hat.

But we, I just, I'm with Jack.

I feel if it's costing them that much money, we've got to find a way to cut a few costs here and cut materials.

Well, so I am happy with six meters.

Six meters is still

massive.

And

I know they could build a 10 meter hat, but imagine if it just came down to the jockey underneath the hat,

couldn't move a 10 meter.

I want to give the jockey the best chance.

And I couldn't jump in.

I'd miss my chance to jump in because this was way out of the way.

There's nothing

in the thread.

Nothing.

You were golfing.

So then designs start coming in.

And they're all sitting around the 10 meters hat.

And this was part of the back and forth forth that I thought was worth us listening to.

This is a six meter hat at 10.4 kilograms no supports yet.

Could get cost of material lower depending on the material we use.

The weird bump like two meters up is me just modeling a second layer of composite for weight purposes.

Yeah, okay.

Do you think you can make it a constant diameter?

Means we only have to print one meter of mold instead of 10.

I know you suggested a straight tube, but it drops the cost of material by like a third of the way when it's tapered.

Yeah, right.

It'll add over a month of production time though.

Yep.

Let's try and avoid that then.

Ha ha ha.

And high cost for filament.

If we want to do 10, the hat will be much heavier.

Like 20 kilograms is an estimate minimum.

What?

What?

It's a 20, 20 kilogram hat.

No, but they were talking...

They're talking about a six meter hat there.

No, they were then going back to let's talk about the 10.

Okay, we got a half that, guys.

I've just drawn you an image here of a two-metre man, and that to scale is a six-meter hat.

That's huge.

That's tallest.

Of course it is.

It's the tallest in the world.

It's never been done.

That's tall enough.

Well, I'm about to send you a screen.

You don't need their designs.

Two-thirds more on top of that.

I'm about to send you their designs, 3D CAD drawings of what they thought I was going going to look at.

Have a look.

The bottom one being a 10-meter hat.

Yeah, that's...

Well, you need to see a person.

It just looks like a chimney.

It looks like a giant long piece of scaffolding.

It's just so long that you don't even realize it has a brim because you're just looking at a really, really, really long shoot.

We need a two-meter

person behind, but you need a stick or something beside that.

But if you imagine one-fifth of that height, good God Almighty, that's a tall house.

It's still tall.

It's six meters.

What's a pole-vault pole length?

They don't get up to 10 meters, do they?

No.

I think they're taller than that.

How long are they jumping?

How high?

How high?

Careful.

You can't be a government.

You can't be a witness.

You don't know length or height.

He's got the wrong dimensions.

No, I reckon the longest pole vault pole you'd have.

I reckon Steve Hooker won gold with an 8.6 meter pole.

So it goes three meters to five and a half meters.

Yeah.

But the pole, depending on the athlete's skill level, body

size and preference.

Yeah, the pole.

So the longest pole you see at the Olympics is five meters.

So our hat's way bigger.

Yeah,

yeah.

And that's, and that's what we'll hang our hat on.

We'd make a hat stand out of those poles.

But we couldn't actually, because then it would be too short.

No, why would you?

We just say metaphorically.

You get that and a pool cue.

And then we could have a hat stand.

So it comes back to quickly this one final discussion.

Six meters, I'm happy with six meters.

I think it increases our chances of the hat pilot successfully completing the mission.

Yeah.

If you have a look at the second picture, that is the way that they'd like the brim of the top hat to work.

I don't actually

end up on the side.

That's not absurd at all.

That just to me has a bit of an Abraham Lincoln feel.

And I'm okay with that i don't think that's absurd yeah i think that's fancy

i think that's fancy but just within the bounds of realism so shall i go back to the pick today

and say we do you know what it reminds me of that's and i and ask them if they've used this for inspo and no criticism if they have a little bit like the monopoly piece yeah uh well they did send another

hat which was an example hat and you're right it's like the monopoly man or the kind of hat that you might wear to Ascot, Royal Ascot, with a slight little curve, which gives it, it's even more distinguished than I thought it was going to be.

Not entry-level, that's for sure.

It's so big.

It's so big.

Yes.

What do you think we're doing here?

We are making the big, tallest hat in the world.

Literally, there's been no one bigger.

Now, that is so big.

The number Andy's holding up, that's almost the tallest number in the world.

Oh, watch your step.

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Dark.

I know, right?

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What movie is that?

I haven't pressed play yet.

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Hey,

a lot of these have been coming in and

we'll get to them.

But this one has jumped to the top of the queue because I think it's an outstanding one to bring before you.

Obviously, I'm talking about song sleuth where I examine whether a song has borrowed from another song over time.

I mean, if you make it to this court, it's not good news.

Your court-appointed defense attorney would have to turn to you and go, listen, I've been to this court a few times before.

You don't really win anything.

It's a Russian comedy.

This sounds like this, sounds like this, sounds like this.

If this sounds like that, I'm your man.

Andy Lee, song sleuth.

Normally I present to you one song and then I present you another song.

We listen to both of them.

We go, oh, do they sound similar?

Today, I'm going to play you a song, and I'm simply going to ask, what song are we listening to?

That's that damning.

Well, we'll see.

Well,

again, we remind the defendant you might walk from here a free man.

This is the song.

Yeah.

What song are we listening to?

Well, it's someone's taken Waltzing Matilda and changed the wheels and put a spoiler on it.

Yeah,

a fancy Waltzing Matilda.

It's not Waltzing Matilda anymore, but those that know the song can tell what's under there.

It's like a busker doing Waltzing Matilda and and they've put their own flare on it.

Yeah, or it's like...

It's sort of missing every fourth note or whatever you think it's going to land, it goes somewhere else.

So maybe that's them going, we're not exactly the same.

It's a song by Billy Bragg

called Birds and Ships.

It's a joint song with Billy Bragg and Wilco.

Bought out in 1998.

So it's a while for it to make it to the court.

Yeah, exactly.

So he'd be fine.

It was like, I think, was it Ronnie Briggs,

the big train like heist back in the day, and they stole heaps of money and they never got caught until he's in your late 80s.

And he went, well, well, I've lived a great life.

I think that's the way this guy would be.

Did they let him off?

No, no, he went to jail, but he's

how great has your life been?

He had a ball with all the money that he had stolen.

So you think Will Cohen, Ronnie

Bragg, Billy Bragg, have just been having a ball with their ill-gotten waltzing Matilda money.

Yeah.

So let's, I mean, the vocals then come in.

So do they mention a swagman?

Because I think if those guys are talking about swagman, it's not a swagman, but it's in the same ill because this is where the vocals start.

The birds are singing

in your eyes today.

See, it's the last note, Hammy, isn't it?

Yep.

I mean, it's one of the things that you're talking about.

It's almost like, oh, this is so obvious, Waltzing Matilda.

Okay, it's a little bit different.

Exactly.

So it continues.

Where might your lonesome lover be?

Oh.

So she goes, she even goes up for the chorus.

Bloody, lovely voice.

Beautiful voice.

But you can't get, I mean, you can't convict someone on just going up for the chorus.

There's only two places to go up or down.

What

It's rare for me to correct you guys on music theory because I just feel it.

You guys studied it.

All I'm saying, Jack, is when you're like, gee, we're sounding a lot like Waltzing Matilda here, and we know that Waltz Matilda goes, Waltzing Matilda, that's where you go, guys.

Well, let's just really go differently at that point.

You play that one again, Jack.

Where might your lonesome lover be?

Here it comes.

Puss may be singing.

Hmm.

This last little bit

is

the end of the chorus, where I again, I don't think they've changed it enough.

But my soul is

told me

and my heart blows wild.

It's the last.

I mean, if you'd have heard, if you, if during the writing of that song of the album, someone went, hey, it sounds a bit like this Australian folk song.

Would you take it to the group and go, who's going to know?

Guys, I got some bad news.

Do you want me to play this?

Do you not want me to play this?

I think you can't really hear it after I play this.

Yeah.

Because I think, again, I'm not just saying this because, I mean, maybe because we're Australians, so we'll always love Waltzing Matilda.

Even though they're obviously great musicians and she has a beautiful voice.

Yes.

I'm hearing the tune, and I can't help in my head when they go to the wrong note, my brain goes,

missed it.

You didn't say

I'm so ready to hear.

You nearly did the right song there, but you didn't mention the jolly jumbuck.

So, it's hard for Australians to listen to, not because you're like, oh, this is plagiarism, but more because your ear goes,

we know how this film ends.

You didn't do it.

You haven't done it.

Yeah.

Anyway, 20, but more than 25 years.

Have they lived a good life?

Guys,

what vegetable do you think is the best team player?

It pairs well with the other things you mean.

Well, I just want to give you context.

Every team has a star.

They're a sudden potato.

No, they're a solo player.

So let me give you context.

Every team sport has players who you wouldn't be picked first.

They're actually terrible on their own.

I'll take it back.

I'll take it potatoes.

The Woody's, for instance, famous Australian tennis doubles.

They couldn't make the top 10 in singles.

They were good as a team, not so good individually.

It's probably Capsicum.

Any of the pussycat dolls, it's not DeCole,

however you say her surname.

Yep, Shazinga.

Shazinga, they would be regarded as good team players

on their own tough.

So potatoes, I think, is the opposite hand.

Sorry,

I mean, who can play with everyone?

What I accidentally picked was who would go number one in the draft.

Yes.

Who would be an asset to any team?

And I agree with you.

I think potatoes are the best solo performer in the game as far as vegetables go.

And you have to look at, you probably have to look at the ecosystem of vegetarian and also just non-vegetarian dishes and go, are there, you know, how many vegetables out there have a starring role?

Because I was almost going to, I said capsicum there, but I'm like, well, stuffed capsicums, people are happy enough to have that as the only vegetable.

If it's a meat stuffed one in that dish.

And I chop up capsicums just to have them with, and my nephews love them just raw, which I think means

capsicums out.

It can play with it.

What's a veggie that only you only find with onions?

I started thinking onion.

Yeah.

True, you would never have onion.

You can't unless you're on the same.

But like it's just onion on sausage.

So it's not playing with any other vegetables.

No, but it's still a team play.

It still peers well.

Onion ring.

An onion ring.

So battered.

But so yeah, I thought, and then there's pickled onions.

Like that is, that's it by itself.

Then I arrived and and I'm not sure that it's a vegetable, so it might be technicality, but I feel like I've got it.

Garlic.

Yeah.

We were getting close with onion and garlic is always a welcome addition to everything.

Garlic is on everything.

Yeah.

And you're right.

You would never go.

Actually, I went solo garlic recently.

No, you can.

Roast garlic.

It's great.

Well, ChatGPT told me I was getting sick and it said, chop up a...

raw garlic, leave it for five minutes, then eat it.

And I did.

How was that?

Disgusting.

Did you get better?

No, I didn't.

It didn't stop.

I don't want to open a can of worms here, too, but I recently tried to get ChatGBT to draw me a sketch of a 1.8-metre man wearing a 10-metre top hat.

And we're not talking about that.

Not now.

But it had three attempts and it couldn't do it.

It kept saying the distance from the hat to the ground was 10 meters.

I'm just saying Chat GBT has holes still.

But I mean, I think what you experience is exactly what I'm talking about, is that it's not a good solo player.

One of the young divas tried to do a solo album and it just didn't stand up.

I think you've got it.

So, Garlic, can we in agreeance?

Very hard-pressed to beat Garlic.

I feel dumb for almost saying peas.

No,

no, Garlic's shits on peas.

Absolutely.

Thanks for listening.

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