2025 Ep 295 - Horgs Rates Your Business Ideas

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One.

Ahoy to me Ishiku.

Hey Mish.

Okay,

tough one.

But Japanese, Yeah, you're in the bottom of the ball.

There is a lot of words and things in Japanese culture.

I feel like we've been to Japan a few times.

Were we samurais once and sumo wrestlers another time?

Weren't we type of swords one time?

Yeah.

Not today.

Okay.

This is something to give you a clue.

This is something

very dear to the show, you would say.

It's got a very strong link to the show.

Ahoy to my Kere,

Jack.

Ahoy.

And I am the Sikare.

Which I hope means superior Keire, which is one rank above Jack.

So it's something in Japanese culture that we also do in the Hamish Nandy podcast culture.

And we do it, you and I do it.

Oh, is it bowing?

Is it bowing?

Is it types of bow?

Is it types of bow?

And there are different types.

There are different types of bow for the types of greeting.

That's a great one.

So, yeah, the Eshiku, 15 degrees, Ham.

Is that bow?

Yep.

That's yeah, even I can get past that.

That's exactly what I'm doing.

On a normal day, I'm not even getting going on that.

That's a casual greeting.

Yep.

Just that one.

The Kire, 30 degrees, Jay.

Yep, we're getting somewhere.

A little more formal.

User and greeting is superior at work.

Because with mine went at 15 degrees, you wouldn't even be looking at the floor yet.

You wouldn't even be able to see the ground.

No, but

you just nodded your head then.

Don't make that mistake.

You don't know.

It's from the pelvis.

It still is a twist 15 degrees.

I didn't know I was on show.

Oh, yeah, because

that wasn't a performance.

CKRA, 45 degrees, the most formal bow.

They don't go lower than that.

They don't go.

So we're guaranteed below 90 on our show.

I'm at 110, I reckon, 110 degrees from vertical.

Yep.

So they're not going anything at the top.

They're all acute at their angles.

Remember I told you about the court bow that I learned about, which is just the head.

Yes, so a government house.

There's a government house.

And when you meet the governor general, you are told to do a court bow, which I think people, there was a few military people there, and they were like, yep, no worries, we know what that is.

I was like, guys, help us out.

What is that?

And it is just a bow of the head.

Just a nod.

Just a nod.

But a bow of the head's a nod.

Yeah.

It's a perp, it's a meaningful nod.

Ahoy also to Connor Donaldson from, I think it's New Zealand, but living in Bristol in the UK.

He went to HamishNewy.com to tell us what he's been up to.

Make a hoy from Bristol, UK, Connor here.

I have the day off today, thanks to you guys.

While I was working yesterday, I was listening to the podcast.

I was sliding a large piece of plywood off of a pallet at about chest height.

At the same time as you guys were talking about the lady sniffing poo, I started laughing, I let go of the board, and the edge fell onto my foot, right behind the steel cap, obviously.

It's currently bruised and swollen, but luckily not broken.

By the time this reaches you, I'm sure it'll be healed.

Cheers for the day, all fellas.

I mean, I think that was in the pre-Conclave episode, wasn't it?

Where we were talking about Jack

just AD6ing one of those,

just not letting that person through to the conclave,

which was a good, which was a good move.

Not the chosen one.

Well, the chosen number twos, as it would be.

So that's remarkable speed to be able to upload.

Great.

We're sorted out the website.

They're coming thick and fast.

Hey Michani.com.

Hey, we've got a special guest in the studio.

It hasn't been for some time.

Big Hawgs.

How are you, Hawks?

Hello, boys.

I know you used to to do the whistle when you came in.

Yeah.

Still got it in you?

No.

Can you unlearn a whistle?

Oh, no.

It's like watching Jordan try and dunk.

Oh, shit.

There you go.

There it is.

There it is.

Jordan's like, come back, guys.

I can do it.

I just had to warm up.

The reason why you're in is because a little while ago on the show we had a guy called christian who rang he wrote in with a million dollar idea and he promised to tell us as long as we didn't steal it from him or tell the public we broke that promise we that was a i still do feel a bit beef bad about that hook did you hear that episode of all hogs no fine if you didn't i i almost think we start with this yeah Jack and I heard the idea, then we told Andy and Andy's like, oh, no worries in stealing that.

His million dollar idea was essentially hairdresser at the airport.

Right.

And you can get a haircut while you wait for your plane.

It was called Aircuts.

And you just, you know, it's a time saver that there's a barber at the airport.

And he'd done some maths and he was like, look, three hairdressers, I think he had them working around the clock 365 days a year, but the numbers looked good based on that maths.

He was like,

everyone want haircuts.

A lot of people wrote in and said, hey.

Two camps, really.

They either said, I've seen this or

I did this.

There were a people saying, yeah, we tried to do this and it didn't take us.

Which you'd had before on a number of your inventions.

That's why I've got you in here, by the way.

If people are new to the podcast, welcome by all means.

But Hawg's very famous on our show for having a lot of inventions over the ride.

Some of them

have gone on to be amazing and we laughed at them at the time.

Which was the, what was the one that you think was the biggest?

It was needabitohelp.com.au.

Which is just our AirTasker now.

It's air tasker.

You did invent air tasker.

You also invented weather bet at one point.

We could bet on the weather.

That now occurs.

You can actually do that the gym train we thought was a good one where you could go to the gym on the train during your commute that one hasn't been invented yet, but it's I think you invented seated cycling at a desk Yeah, yes, that was to power your lamp the desk lamp though.

I think

the work workout we called that that's right.

Yeah, I mean there's so many of these ideas you know you were an absolute ideas machine back in the day.

You probably still are Horgs, but the skin-colored phone was one of my favorites.

Oh, that's right.

So you could be on the phone.

This is beforehand's free.

You could be on the phone in your car and police wouldn't know.

Of all the ways to break that law,

getting a phone that matched your flesh tone is one of the more interesting.

Not even a cord, not even a hands-free cord that blends in just so you can really have a hand distracted.

We just think you have an eye for a great idea.

So Hamis just told you Christian's idea about the aircuts.

So a hairdresser at the airport.

As far as million dollar ideas go what would you rank that between one and ten

well if you want to call it a million you need to earn millions yeah right like you've you've just got one person cutting it like how have you got a whole team there yeah i think that's the idea you could potentially franchise but

i don't love it because you're not going like i need my guy yeah

everyone needs your guy unless you're unless you travel that much yeah maybe once every six weeks doubtful I don't know.

I don't love it.

So what are you giving you out of 10?

Should we rate it between zero and a million?

Where does it land between zero and a million?

I think about

450,000.

Let's say let's do 4.5.

No, I like this.

I like this.

Got to be confused.

So what we're going to do.

450,000 out of a million.

So what we're going to do, Hawgs, is since then, people have written in going, that idea was terrible.

I've got the million-dollar idea.

Now, Hamish and I discussed that we're not going to invest in anyone's ideas.

That's for Shark Tank.

We don't want to be anonymous to show.

You, we're welcome to if you want it to.

Right.

God, this would be an amazing full circle because our old segment was you listing your ideas and then people ringing up saying if they wanted to invest.

So, Hawgs,

if we can marry you as an investor now with some of these ideas, by all means, go for it.

But what we thought we'd do as a service is go,

we're probably not going to invest.

I mean,

we can barely get our act together to make a tall hat.

So

we're not going to, we're trying to break the record for world's tallest hat hogs, just because

we're not going to do that, but what we can do is at least give them some critical feedback from our favorite inventor and possible investor.

Just quickly, when you say we're not going to do that, we are doing the tall hat.

We're not going to invest.

We are going to invest.

We're not going to invest.

Sorry.

So let's start with Heath.

He's here.

He's going to give you a rating.

What's your million-dollar idea?

Hey, guys.

My idea is roll-on Vegemite.

So essentially just like a roll-on deodorant, but Vegemite.

Hawks is just like fair be your mouth.

I had that idea.

Didn't you do it?

Roll on butter, I think.

He did roll on butter.

Didn't I?

Yeah, you did roll on butter for the show back in the day.

Yeah.

Do you think a change to Vegemite increases the the idea or is better idea or

well more honey?

I think it's even worse.

oh more honey he's happy to go to honey

what are you giving that what are you giving out 10 oh the problem with the million dollar so the problem that's Vegemite so you're gonna have to sell it to Veggie Mite yes yeah you don't that your million dollar idea to sell it to them yeah definitely yeah what are you thinking oh I think like a

150,000.

Thank you orgs for using my scale.

And he's trying to get the one to 10 scale going.

I'm sticking to the one to a million.

Okay, that is the tough thing because Vegimut.

Vegimut will own it.

And also, if you go in and pitch it, even if you've got the tech, they can just go, yeah, we were thinking of that.

Yeah.

So you like it.

Heath, what do you feel about that?

It's $150,000 idea.

Still good money.

Still good money.

Selling a bit short there, I reckon.

Okay, well, good luck and let us know how you go.

All right, we go from Heath to Jack.

Ahoy, Jack.

Ahoy, boys.

How are you?

Yeah, good.

Do you have a million dollar idea for Hawgs?

We haven't got to the million million yet.

Oh, I do.

So the problem is, you know when you are eating dinner, it might be a wrap or a burrito or a soft taco and you put it down on your plate and it all just unravels.

Yeah.

Edible sticky tape.

Edible sticky tape.

Right.

That's the one.

Yeah.

It'll solve all the problems.

You can wrap it around, have a different flavors.

Is it tasty?

Or like, can you tell it's in your mouth?

No, well, you will have a flavorless one, I reckon.

And then maybe, you know, for burritos, you could have a salsa-flavored one.

What's it made of?

I was thinking maybe rice paper, something like that.

Or, you know, those Listerine strips, whatever they use for that.

Yeah, they do get pretty sticky.

Okay, so you have to check the technology yourself.

This is one of those things where if the technology worked, you go all day long.

The tricky part would be taping something to a burrito burrito and having it stick the way we're hoping for it to stick that could be the tough bit of the science then you're going to get sticky hands well my the concern is that every nearly a third of the inventions that i pitched to you guys back in the day yeah your feedback was to me horse you can't that's not an invention you you've you haven't come up with the technology yes so that's what you're giving him yeah yeah jack i mean it's good tech if if but that's the leap to make it sort of like going boots that can walk on the roof and you go oh okay great but how yeah well you just you use signs to stick to the roof let's say it can work i still don't see when i have my burrito wanting to spend the time tape it up to tape it up no but maybe then it becomes part of the burrito like i worry taped or something i worry that we're going to get to a stage where a small it's like wrapping a birthday present a small piece of tape that you might use to wrap a birthday present won't be enough to hold the pressure of the burrito yeah and you'll have to do a full lap of tape around the burrito and i worry in that instance is that can be too much tape to eat and it kind of gets stuck in your mouth it doesn't dissolve the way we want

one one full wrap around i reckon one lap the really tough part about this is you're going up against the geniuses at old el paso now every invention they come up with is to keep a burrito together we've talked about it before on the show yeah they've got the bucket burrito the boat burrito the pockets pockets everything's made to reduce spillage it's their number one enemy what about instead of a tape,

a corn chip hook?

Oh, yeah.

So when you wrap and then like a fish hook.

Yeah, like a fish hook

that then clips onto the other side

and you have two holes on the other side of your wrap.

Almost, so are you thinking like when you use a bandage, like in your first aid kit, that hook mechanism that keeps the bandage tight?

Yeah.

That's not bad, one of those.

Made of corn chip and rice paper, made of a completely edible technology, and very, very sharp when it hits the taco, but your mouth can't feel it.

Oh, exactly.

Um, what do you think for Jack?

Hawks?

Oh, I don't like this at all.

No, I think it's a one, a one dollar, no one dollar.

Back to my scout.

Sorry, Jack.

We've got time for one more.

Luke, ahoy to you.

Luke, do you think you've got a better idea than edible sticky tape?

Yes.

Great.

100%.

Okay, thanks for joining us.

No, far away, far away.

What do we got?

Right.

You guys have had cans of drink, so

cheeky beer before, yes, I presume.

Yeah, I've had one of those.

And you've been to the pub, I presume, you know, Old Mates, you've been there.

Yep, we've been to the pub and other pubs.

Yes, so when you order, say, a pot that comes with a handle, how nostalgic is that feeling?

But you can't have it at home with a can, can you?

No.

Until now,

we have created the can cradle, which is an aluminium strip that clips onto the side of your can with ease and creates that feeling of being at the pub holding a handle at home.

I love it.

So it's a handle for a tinny.

Yeah.

Do you prefer, would you prefer to use a handle while you have a can?

Yes.

Maybe.

Well, I mean, I don't think I never holding a can going, I wish I had a lot of people.

I do like a handle of beer, but I think I like the glass element.

Yeah, yeah.

Drinking it like that, too.

I don't think.

Remember how I had an invention?

Well, we tried to bring this up for you, the slab of pots.

Yeah.

And so, Hawks, I think this is...

It might not be better than Luke's, but the idea was if you've just moved out of home and you haven't got your glassware yet, go to Carlton Draft or whoever and grab a slab of pots.

And it was pot glasses with caps on it.

But yeah, it's a screw top.

It was beer in there.

And there was beer in there.

It's a giant screw top.

And then

you drink the pot, but then keep all the glasses at home in your sharehouse.

Yeah, I think they were concerned that it was going to break, like in the slab, it could break more because obviously the stubby is more of a rounded

glass.

We went down the track with it and tried to see whether they'd come in it, but no, we didn't get through product.

The other point is that it's it's just better drinking out of a pot glass yeah so you're having more fun that as well and later on you get another glass yes but do you go back to luke's

got with hogs this sounds like an idea that was nixed to 10 years ago what do you think about clipping a handle to a can i love it i think that'd be great so what are you gonna what what are you giving luke what he 900

i feel like ando did not see that going no i think it's great i think we're confused though i mean a horg does love a beer so so

there'll be people there going hang on a sec i invented edible tape i was barely getting 100 grand with nothing else yep i mean amazing eventually good luck you're 900 grand they'll give you heaps of confidence you think to take it to the world yeah good luck that's that's the the uh the well you don't win anything today but you've definitely won the vote of confidence from the show yeah yeah that's all you need yeah perfect there you go he's happy yeah he's forked away a winner i like to think that we've imagined a future perfect future here.

I mean, even if, let's say, all of these ideas get up and one day we may find ourselves at the airport, had a fresh haircut, we look across, we see someone eating a fully taped burrito whilst sipping on a beer at the airport out of a handle.

I mean, that's a beautiful future that you want to be part of, isn't it?

Absolutely.

Luke, thank you, bud.

Hawks, thanks for coming in.

Thanks, guys.

Gee, I'm looking forward to seeing if any of those go.

I won't invest in any.

Just go.

Okay, there we go.

That's why that's again, this is the shark tank feeling where you realize it's great to hear ideas, but gee investing is a big leap.

Yeah.

Hey, it's fair to say,

I'm not going to say 50% of correspondence, but I'd say 20% of correspondence to heymacheni.com at the moment is hat-related inquiries for our quest to get the tallest hat and break the record.

In the world, what I love about our listeners is it's got this urgency about it that it's sort of like it's the town project and everyone's like,

I need to tell the guys.

I've got an angle here and I've got,

just so you know,

have you thought about this?

Have you thought about that?

And we, of course, have our, we've got our crack team designing the hats.

Yep.

Update from

I was going to say, let's get an update from those guys happening because I feel a bit guilty actually being this far out of the process.

But

we're on the other side of the, we're on this, like the thing we can take care of is how this is going to run when we actually have a crack at the world's tallest hat record.

Yeah, we were going to we were going to reach out to Guinness and we have made some

inquiries.

But look, Jack, there's a fair bit of palava.

And as a show, we try and keep palava to a powerful.

I hate palava, don't we?

I hate it.

It's a bit of bureaucracy.

Don't the Guinness World Records have a duty of like, if you say you're going for a world record, they should really come out and be dead to this.

No, that would be if they're a government body, I suppose.

They're not the police, where if they hear a crime happening, they have to go.

They're not like the positive police, where if they hear something good happening, they must attend.

There's a guy getting in a swimming pool of baked beans.

Hold the phone.

But deploy two of our agents there because we've got three

longest nose ring.

Do not get in that bath.

We're wearing the most amount of women's suspenders until we are next to you and we count the suspenders.

But I thought for their own accuracy, they might want to always be sending people out because they don't want to put in print.

It turns out they are a for-profit organisation and not and

they should be.

So they should be

selling the beer as a charity either.

They're making money on the beer.

I think they've always been up front on going, hey, this is just the stuff we do.

Be involved if you want.

I think the trick they've pulled is by being, they've got us in this mindset where you proactively have to ask

if you are going to do it.

There's application forms.

There's a cost.

It's quite significant.

You don't have to convince me.

I hate all that stuff.

And they are.

We said the C-word to Jack.

He hates that.

He hates the cost.

And they operate out of the UK, which is tough for us as well with time difference issues.

Here's the thing.

Just a final note on the palava.

It was because we know a lot of people, obviously, in radio, and we've talked about this before that have gone for Guinness World Records.

Then when you talk to the producers behind the scenes, that's when you get the real snapshot of the palava.

They're like, oh, it was 10 grand.

It was 20 grand.

We had to do this.

Really?

Mate, it ain't a cheap certificate.

But,

you know, those people have made the call that the content's worth it.

Now, when we look at the budget side of things, we go,

well, are they the bottom?

You know,

if a nose ring is inserted in a nose and no one's there to see it, did it still happen?

Yes, it did.

And it's one of the great philosophical questions.

If a record is broken and someone from the beer company wasn't there to measure it, but others were who were just as trustworthy, did it still happen?

I say yes.

So do I.

Jack.

And I say yes too.

And I say they should.

Well, that's three yeses.

I mean, two more okay's and we've got a full house.

You can't argue with that.

It's almost an unbeatable hand.

So we're just going to now play for the record but we don't care if it's in the book or not we don't care about the book is what i'm saying we we could just just decide we don't care about the book because we'll know we'll know the truth and the reason we'll know is here's here's one idea i had

we thought

do we get like the people might remember like tetzlotto or powerball or whatever where you have government officials yes i think we get people's officials to be there on the day, trustworthy people, listeners of our show, that will authenticate it and we'll all know the rules and we'll play by the same guidelines and more on that in a second that you have for the Guinness World Records.

But we get, let's say, 10 government officials, 10.

Five of the people's officials.

Five.

We've flown in or possibly selected for a short drive from the arena.

We have them there.

And there's a form.

We're going to put a form in our website now because we're looking for a specific type of person.

We need to know for a fact.

And you have to provide evidence of times that you have paid attention, right?

Because we need

people distracted, yeah, examples of the of that you know distance because the hat, I think, one of the rules is we it has to go for 10 meters.

So, are you the kind of person that knows about distance?

How do you know about it?

Where did you last use that?

And when Hay says the hat has to go for 10 meters, that's walking with a hat on, yeah, and with a hat over about five and a half minutes tall, but they should know about vertical distance as well, exactly, both horizontal and vertical.

Great question, we can quickly edit the form before it it goes live.

This is why I wanted to bring it up.

So that'll be done, and people can register to be the officials.

Is that the only two things?

And evidence that you're trustworthy.

And trustworthiness.

So they don't have to work for the government in any way.

No.

No.

Why would they?

No, no.

You just kept saying government officials.

Well, that was because.

Yeah, that's because they're giving about $22 million on PowerPoint.

So that's why people feel comfortable having government officials.

But I just think we go

trustworthy people.

Yeah, I think there's better examples you could give of trustworthiness, to be honest.

So let's just get that.

You're trustworthy.

You know about the two of the axes of distance.

You know about vertical, horizontal.

No requests for depth.

We won't need depth.

You won't be quizzed on depth.

You won't be quizzed on depth.

It's a 2D test.

I suppose you could argue it depends which end of the line you're at.

If you decide to stand at the finish line, it will almost all be depth and there'll be no lateral movement.

But again, we'll get you side on.

We'll take care of this.

We'll take care of this with the seating.

So don't worry about that.

We'll take care of the, make sure it's only two dimensions at max we're asking you to measure.

And, you know, and can you pay attention?

Once we've got that, then I think we can pick our representatives of the people.

I'm getting ahead of myself here, but I just thought of an idea.

Once we get this record, right?

I love that thinking mentality.

We haven't done a t-shirt for ages.

Oh, yeah.

Is there merch in it where it's simply a two-scale up the side of the t-shirt, a two-scale replica of like a stick figure with a five and a half meter or six meter hat on?

And it just simply says like on the chest, like,

I know because I was there.

Or like, you know, I know because it happened.

Yeah.

Or like, I know because.

So it's a t-shirt just for the five people who are coming?

No, no, no, for everyone that listens to the show, because you'll have people going, yeah, but it's not the Guinness World Records.

And we'll be like, yeah, but we had eyewitnesses.

Yes.

We had people there and it was to the letter on that.

I love the fact that we're getting t-shirts paid up.

We haven't even got the hat.

Started on that.

Let's see if the hat team can also do t-shirts.

Since they're in the, since they might be in cloth stage yet.

Hey, on that, I got a very interesting email on my side of the fence from a listener in America that claims to, and I don't have any reason to doubt them, wants to stay anonymous.

claims to know the current holder who i might have said lived in melbourne but it does turn out with a bit of digging does live in america yep also do they know the rules?

They said,

I know the guy that it took him years of planning for this, the most recent guy to get this five and a half meter hat record.

And like, I know the guy that did it

and I've been listening with great interest to your show.

This person's a fan of the podcast.

So this is friendly insider information.

said, you're pretty much spot on with all your guidelines, except

I'm pretty sure like this guy that got the record, he thought of and had to cancel plans for any sort of chin strap or structure to hold the hat up.

Okay.

Because we were thinking of a neck brace cravat, which I still think is actually legal, but for the honor, we won't even use a neck brace covered in a cravat.

So no chin straps.

It just can't have any, yeah, it can't have a fastener.

to the head it just has to be something that like is placed on the head like a hat and that's the other you can have a tightener like a bike helmet you know how at the back they have possibly inside yeah yeah yeah as long as as it said that, as long as it goes horizontal, not vertical, as far as the way the strap runs around, yeah, we just have to tighten it as a hat band would tighten around your head.

But the other thing is

he said one of the things that canceled a few of the early designs that this other guy was thinking of, and we've mentioned a bit too about just getting a stick that comes off a helmet kind of thing.

Is it the hat design?

Apparently, the word from Guinness was, because I think this guy's was a Sander hat, has to be an existing hat.

So you can't create a shape that just happens to, it can't just be a structure that goes five and a half meters up off your head.

It has to be

not an existing hat because there are no Santa hats.

No, but this is existing.

You know what I mean?

It's like a style of hat, that you would instantly go, that's a Santa hat.

That's been elongated to reach the height requirements, which I think is good too, because we want to win honorably.

We're not trying to win through a loophole.

Well, I think we were talking about about a top hat, weren't we?

Well, we've always been talking about a top hat, so I think that's completely which I think is more honorable than a santa hat.

A center hat's actually a pretty good idea because you just need like a big stick up the middle and then it hangs over like a tent.

Leave the design to the design team.

Yeah, yeah, you're overstepping, Jack.

Stick to the t-shirt, mate.

I don't think we've nailed that design yet.

Oh, well, I your step.

Wow, your attic is so dark.

Dark.

I know, right?

It's the perfect place to stream horror movies.

What movie is that?

I haven't pressed play yet.

ATNT Fiber with Al-Fi covers your whole house.

Even your really, really creepy attic turned home theater.

Jimmy, what have I told you about scaring your guests?

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And I,

the

upset Andy's boy oh boy i can't stop him i try you hear me

every week on this show going stop sending them guys without enough we occasionally have a pre-show meeting and you go to carly who runs it for us here there's heaps of upsettings you've got to get them in so i don't think that's you trying to stop it at all I'm hoping that by flushing them out, get them out of the system, we'll get to the end.

Everything is neat and practical.

Because that's the way he likes it.

But what if it wasn't upset Andy?

Noah, you've got something to upset our sweet boy here.

I do, I do.

G'day, boys.

Gusto to you all.

Oh, boy to you, Noah.

And gusto to you, sir.

Thank you, thank you.

Yeah, so

when I save contacts into my phone, get a lot of work phone calls and the like, I generally just chuck in the first name of the person because don't always know the last name.

And so at the moment I've got about six different Richards in my phone.

And when I need to, when I need to call on, I just pick one at random and hope for the best.

I mean, I appreciate the sport of it.

But yeah, that's red hot for me.

I mean, you know how much detail is in my contact list.

It's first name followed by second name, followed by where I met you or your associated business.

Beck doesn't love the fact that she's still in my phone as Rebecca Harding patch waitress.

But that's the cafe I met her in.

A cafe she hasn't pulled a shift at for well over a year.

Some might say 10.

And I've got, I realized the other day, I've got in my phone like a mate of mine, AJ, who I call a lot, and then another person I know called AJ,

but I've just changed them to AJ Rarely.

This one.

So I know the other one is the frequent AJ.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's a system.

It's a great system.

You don't upset me.

It's nine out of ten.

Jack, ahoy to you.

And Gusto to you.

What have you got to upset, Ando?

Well, our house doesn't have a bath plug.

So the bath was out of action for a long time until we found nature's bath plug, which is half a lemon.

So you cut half a lemon and just stuff it in the bath hole and then yeah, off you go.

Surely,

slowly.

I mean,

you get about 40 minutes.

okay and do you mean it flat side down and it suctions it on or do you put it uh lump jam the lump side in i know no flat side down so it sucks it in and then uh i don't off you go hate it jack i mean i hate it but i don't hate it because the ingenuity in the choice of plug i think is a good one it's a great it's a it's a good it's like a good bit of bush mechanic work but you What I love about it, and I'm like you here, Jack, you go, damn, we don't have a plug.

Well, there's nothing we can do about that.

Like, even if it takes months, nobody can do it.

No, no, no, and you'll often get an Andy in the periphery going, go and buy one.

Like, we're not spending half a day just to get a plug.

That's like a dollar fifty.

If you remember it, next time we're at Bunnings, we'll do it, but that's unlikely.

There's nothing we can do about this.

We'll never have a plug again.

We must find a one.

We've got a bath plug tree at the back, so you just grab it from the bath plug tree and put you in half a few.

When life gives you two bath plugs stuck together, it's up to you what you make of it.

Thank you, Jack.

Angus, ahoy to you.

Oh, gusto to all, including the little boy.

Ahoy.

Beautiful Angus, what have you got?

So for home use, instead of buying a fancy reusable razor, like you've probably got, Ando, must be nice, I just get the disposable travel packs because they're fibre value for money, and you don't need to be precious about maintaining the blade or anything.

So after each shave, I just chuck the razor back in my bathroom drawer.

So now when I go to shave, I have around 15 to choose from.

And if that razor doesn't work, I'll just keep swapping them out until I get the job done.

Yep.

And the good thing about that.

They're not bad shave, though.

They're like, they're single.

Good evening about

a single blade.

Yeah.

And you'd be surprised how much gusto these shavers have in them.

No.

At least 10 goes.

No, mate.

I want to see, and because I want to see you do a big ad and that be the slogan.

You would be surprised at how much gusto they have in them.

At least 10.

Yeah, at least 10 goes.

But like, I even went overseas last month, and it's great for that, too.

So I just ran the same system.

I was away for 10 days.

And I just grabbed like a stash of 10, put it in my toiletries bag, and just away I went.

Why would you waste the room in the toiletries bag as well?

I mean, Beck's got her.

Beck's got her.

We know a lot about shavers in my house because Beck's got her shaver brand, Louie.

Louie.

She would be so upset with your Louis ritual

or your rituals, so to speak.

The thing I love about chucking a blunt one back in.

No, you can't.

Just seeing if it comes back into form.

Like, you're not completely fired.

But have a bit of time on the bench and just sharpen.

Literally, sharpen up and I'll put you back in the rotation.

I mean, back then.

I put around 10 in the sink and I put it under hot water.

And then I think that helps.

I think it does help as well do you think I think hot I think hot water helps sharpen them up not sharpen them up but just it feels like well like when you back in the old days like in the you know prohibition era when you get a hot shave wasn't that because they like

well i think it's something like that isn't it like i thought i thought it was about heating your face and then something about like the pores are more open

maybe that softens the blade but yeah if you attack it with a hot blade i think we're thinking of hot knives and butter and you just go should follow

or when you heat the spoon up for ice cream to get it out of the tub like should be the same maths all right beautiful thanks

tess tess ahoy to you tess ahoy boys and number six happy birthday endo no

lovely

um so when i feed my dog instead of scooping the kibble into a bowl i simply just scoop it straight across the floor

and the dog licks up the or eats all the food off the floor and he loves it and it's so efficient because i don't have to wash any bowls and i don't have to mop the floor it comes up sparkling clean

you have to mop the floor Like

dogs don't.

Do you know what dogs lick when they're out in the wild?

Soap.

Soap.

Pour in a park.

They find those trees that you can crush the leaves up and make soap.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

No, but are we doing dry food?

Yeah, dry food.

Dry food.

Yeah, it's kibble.

It's just in one, you know, one section of the house.

It's his area, but

he

licks it all up and it's so, it's the cleanest part of the house, I swear.

And you're missing the key bit of information here.

He loves it.

Okay.

no, I

mean, I can't totally be repulsed at Tess because every time we leave the house, Beck feels sorry for Henry.

So she scatters Kibble on the ground and she runs around and eats it so Beck doesn't slip out without the dog noticing.

Oh, so she's distracted.

Distracted.

So Beck is doing kind of what you're talking about.

And I don't is that to give Henry a fun game to eat the Kibble or is it so she doesn't see the door closed?

Both.

Okay.

Okay.

Jess, thank you.

Wrap this up for us, Bella.

Ahoy to you.

Ahoy, boys.

Gusto to you, my kings.

And gusto to you, our queen.

Yes.

Thank you.

So a little bit of a precursor is I don't have poor time management.

I'm just fast and loose.

And I also have one of those really fancy fridges with the automatic water dispensers, obviously.

Wow.

Yeah, that's a real one.

It must be nice.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

So I'm rolling out of bed like 15 minutes before I need to leave for work.

So I'm getting ready upstairs, doing my hair makeup upstairs, trot downstairs.

By that time, I'm really parched.

So I, you know, roll over to my fridge.

Don't grab a cup because that would just be wasting too much time when I'm already time poor in the morning.

So I tilt the pelvis forward in front of the fridge, do a really, really deep lunge.

My chin lines up perfectly with the button for the water dispenser and it just ponks straight into my mouth.

And it's perfect.

Well, so you don't, you don't even have to use your hand.

No hand.

Can you fellas?

Can you please send us a video of that?

That does not upset me.

That

Going to work with rested hands.

Yeah, I don't have an energy.

And it's the energy of, you know, lifting my hand up, opening the door, getting the cuff out.

Like, I don't have to work in the morning.

Exactly.

Exactly.

What do you do for a job?

What do you work as?

I'm a social worker.

So I need all my heart power, my brain power, my hand power to be rested for the day.

But also, too, when you're opening doors and things like that, people must come in all the time on your grip strength and how well rested your arms are and your forearms.

It makes or breaks the day.

Yep.

The only bad thing is because I'm ready for the day upstairs.

I have my makeup on, so there is a permanent foundation and lipstick mark on my fridge, but I'm just going to do it again the next day, so it doesn't really matter.

And the makeup that's already on the fridge kind of replaces the makeup I lose from putting my chin there.

So it's like a two-for-one reapplication for me.

That's the only bit that upsets me.

The mark on the fridge.

Yeah, I'd be swinging around to clean that up.

But Bella, thanks.

Send us it in.

Really good.

ando you had the great fortune of being in new york last weekend yes a quick dash um just to check out

rostered on at the pub

and you had to go and you're late for your shift you just sucked your bummer yeah so but again um you know wasn't even rostered on someone fell called sick manager called and said hey can you fill in for this shift yeah no if it's in under 30 hours over 30 hours i will be there boss yeah and um don't worry.

And even though you do get delayed and you didn't get a chance to fill in, the ticket and supporting documentation will be neatly presented to the tax office.

Absolutely.

To show needed to be the pub.

But I must say I looked on with great joy and not even envy, Ando, as you were at the pub that we have a small interest in in New York City over the weekend.

Hold mates.

Yep.

Hold mates, if you happen to be in town, we do like to do a long, very long shot plug in case anyone happens to be in town in New York.

HNA loyalty card is accepted.

It is.

It is.

And, God, we're bloody proud of that.

One thing

I will say is I think, and again, I'm not saying that, you know, one day when you're a father, you might still travel with such reckless abandon as you do and

go to New York for a small handful of days.

But I think, Jack, if you didn't know us and I was to say this was my weekend versus this was Andy's weekend I think based off the one sentence of going Andy was in New York City at a pub and hanging out with Hugh Jackman and I was at a cat show on Sunday morning to see the 1030 kittens judging I would know which one is a parent you would go who has a seven-year-old daughter you would know you would get a feel you would just get a feel from that

So yeah, I was at the Cat Lovers Association, I think it was called, or Cat Lovers Forever, cat show at the Sydney Convention Centre.

So

what was the cat show?

Were people bringing in their own cats to show, or were they already pre-vetted cats with more show experience?

Your two cats aren't show cats, are they?

Could be.

Didn't put them on the bench.

If you were to get them on the bench, he was putting on Zoe's pillow.

He's got over that now.

And that is a unique trick.

No, he

couldn't take out Potato and Jimmy wouldn't.

I don't think they'd go well at a cat show show just because there's a lot of other cats around i'm as surprised as you guys are that we were going zoe bought the tickets for this because she follows a funny cat shower this american guy on instagram right i think he's named stephen he he's like known on instagram for like doing like they bring the cat up and they're like oh yeah look at this guy he's look at that beautiful long body and we're looking this breed we're looking for like wow nice strong shoulders and the cats i'm so far from this goddamn on on my algorithm.

So I can't stress enough how much it's not golf swings or gadgets.

So it's not on my algorithm either.

Kids love it.

So Zoe goes a couple of years.

She goes, guess what, guys?

You know the funny guy we see on Instagram?

He's coming to City and I bought us tickets to the cat show.

There's one thing to enjoy a 15-second video.

I said, why did we,

why did you do that?

And she goes, it's funny.

I said, yeah, but now we have to do the joke.

We have to live the joke.

So I'm like, you know what?

Whatever.

Let's go and see if there's a cat.

And look, there were some great cats there.

I was sort of looking around, though, for other people because I love our cats,

but I don't love all cats.

Zoe was really into it.

And this is great.

She loves our cats.

And

that's great.

How's this for a bombshell, though?

Like, she was really into it.

And I was getting a lot of hurry up, hurry up.

He's on at 10.30.

You know, and I said, mate, it's like quarter to 10.

We're going to make it.

And then Zoe's like, well, there's parking, and if there's a queue, whatever,

great news.

When we got there, not a huge queue, like the convention center.

The convention center holds like 10,000 people.

And again, it was a great show, well attended, but I would say low 300s was attended.

So there was a lot of space for us to all to enjoy the cats and products on show that morning.

But aren't cats like traditionally hard to herd?

Like the whole, yeah, you have to hold them.

And I think a few of them are on

just like a gummy, yeah, yeah

just to relax a little bit

so and look again a couple of great cats so do they do anything that like dogs do do they walk around in circles and

no it's just to show off how well that breed meets the criteria for that breed I suppose oh mate don't scratch your nose because that's no different to a dog show don't get too

I could easily

easily see Beck making Andy go to a dog show no worries at all best in show is in Andy's future.

Singing a duet about tall terriers is 100% in Andy's future.

Sadly, you might be right.

Well, how's this?

So you'll get ready for this when, you know, a few years down the track with Beck.

Zoe turns to me and not as a joke, goes,

you know, just letting you know.

And by the way, this is like we're in our early 40s, but this is where you have those bolts where you're like, wow, we're really going to be married forever.

And you just realize that.

Because I think when people get married, you know, 30, 40

you know it's forever but you're also it you just think it'll be time you're so young yeah and it's just you just think life will be pretty much like this but so I goes just so you know in the future I might breed cats oh my god I went oh man that is you can't just say that casually at a cat show and then I start looking around and a lot of the displays are husband and wife teams and I did feel like the husband was the second invite to the part like the second person into the family not as passionate maybe and i might be really projecting my fears here but i was like i am gonna be i'm gonna be a cat caddy like i'm gonna be just and and but i was like so you and she's like well that's i'm just letting you know that my future that i could see that happening it's so cute wouldn't it be amazing to have like all these little cats what'd you say to that

i panic i think i was panicking because in my head i was like you can't just drop this on someone that's a huge life change that's not what i got into this for but then and you could make the same argument i thought to be fair to go with golf like you'd be like well i never saw golf coming and now you're into golf.

And you'd wait five hours at a time.

But again, that's off-site.

That is off-site.

I'm not chipping golf balls around the house and like making the clubs get in bed with us.

Yeah, but that's not true because you sent me a video last week of you using a swing A and

it's a golf club you can use inside half the length.

And he let it go out of his hand and he smashed a family portrait.

You know I've seen this video.

I know I'll show it to you, but I just said Jack, Jack, because I was going to give Jack the same swing aim as it just be really careful of these making

slippery handles.

That's true.

And if I catch Zoe swinging the cats around in the good room, I'll absolutely be as angry as she was over the portrait.

Thanks for listening.

The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

Catch up or contribute at Hamishandandy.com.

Starting a business can be overwhelming.

You're juggling multiple roles.

Designer, marketer, logistics manager, all while bringing your vision to life.

But for millions of businesses, Shopify is the ultimate partner.

Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S.

From household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started.

Build a stunning online store with Shopify's ready-to-use templates.

Boost content with AI-powered product descriptions, page headlines, and enhance photography.

Marketing is easy with built-in tools for email and social media campaigns.

Plus, Shopify simplifies everything from inventory to shipping and returns.

If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify.

Turn your big business idea into with Shopify on your side.

Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com/slash try.

Go to shopify.com/slash try.

Shopify.com/slash try.