2025 Ep 293 - Meet the World’s Tallest Hat Dream Team

A listener production.

Activate your internet.

Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three,

two.

Sorry, still buffering.

One.

Ahoy to me Meriweber, Hamish.

Okay.

Uh yes.

Daniels.

It would be my initial guest.

Daniels?

I think that was it.

Was that Daniel Meriwether?

Was he a singer?

Oh, well, see?

Deep cut from me.

Could have won one.

I wasn't here to say that, yes, there was a Daniel Merriweather.

Don't press me for more.

Don't press me for more.

An answer's an answer.

No, we're not Daniels.

I'm not about to say hello to my audience.

Oh, hang on.

Is it the ships that landed?

Is it Columbus's ships?

No.

I know that was the Mayflower.

Okay, Jack, you go.

Ahoy, Timmy Fauna, Jack.

Ahoy.

I don't think.

Yeah, he's just saying hello.

He's not doing guesses.

No, no, I'm thinking.

Oh, okay.

Well, actually, I thought

Meriwether was...

Was there a burger shop called Meriwether at Crown Casino in Melbourne?

That was in Merryville.

Merrywell.

Merrywell.

Merrywell.

And then, yeah, so that didn't really suck.

So we short-lived casino burger stores.

She's done it again.

It's a tough one.

And then I'm Joe's burg joint.

I don't think.

What are we?

I don't think you are going to get it now if you don't know those.

So I'm Flora.

It's Meriwether, Fauna, and Flora.

I mean, is it just stuff on a coat of arms?

No, we are Sleeping Beauty's three fairy godmothers.

A few people outside going, how can you not get that?

It's like, because we aren't up to date with Sleeping Beauty.

Well, I kind of challenge it because I feel like I am.

I've read the book a lot, but I thought Aurora was the princess in that.

Well, these are the fairy godmothers.

Maybe she's the main godmother.

Anyway,

to be honest, they are my least favorite type of bedtime story, the classics.

And I don't know if you do this.

Aurora's Sleeping Beauty.

Oh, is that Aurora?

Yeah.

Anyway, I was going to say, I don't know if you do this with your little boy, Jack, but I can read a full book out loud if it's one of the ones I'm not into.

And I can read a full book out loud and be thinking about something completely different.

I've actually outsourced.

I don't know if this is bad.

Now I've outsourced the the book reading to

just to YouTube so

so Elite reads like Peter Rabbit and I just I lie at the other end of the bed playing chess

playing chess yeah on your phone yes well because he's at the other so I go top to tail so that he can't see the light mate I mean that's two devices going at bedtime no no he's so he's listening

it's playing on my phone

so I can say like

because your phone is on so I go

I'm just getting my phone out to press play and then I'll just monitor it.

I've got a little playback.

I thought very while Greg Internet slides a few games in.

Well that's huge.

I mean I thought I was being a bad dad by thinking about golf as my mouth was reading a story.

Does he have the book as well and he's turning the pages?

I don't know.

He's in that.

He's in complete darkness.

He's watching TikTok.

You're not reading.

He's in office.

He's got Oculus Riff goggles on.

He's doing Beat Saber.

So is that reading time?

Is that what you're doing?

Yeah, so that's it.

can't that's not reading it's kind of come to be his routine now now he goes like oh let's do like let's do peter rabbit for bed let's do that don't you want to don't you want to practice the sicilian defense dad

wow wow wow i have to turn the brightness right now because the lady goes what are you doing how is gordy's reading going i bet he's listening fantastic he keeps getting interrupted by

the move the movement of chess pieces around the bottom turn that off in settings

I appreciate your honesty, Jack.

I do that sometimes.

No, no, of course.

As I said, completely joking.

Also to Alastair,

who is from France, but uploaded this at HamishNee.com, letting us know what he's up to.

Third attempt to try and get this under two megabytes.

Alastair, southwest France.

Jack's handed his notice in with Christian, but he hasn't got another job to go to.

That's quite common in media circles.

However, if he hasn't got a job to go to, where's he getting his money to pay all his bills from?

That Tesla ain't cheap, must be nice.

Now I seem to remember he had access to the Bitcoin wallet for both of you and then he mysteriously forgot about it.

What if he suddenly remembered it?

I don't know how much it's worth because you guys don't go on about it but if it's three or four million Aussie dollars then you can buy a lot of cheese with that.

So I suggest you put a bit of pressure on the weasel, give him a Chinese burn, try and find out if he's got another job, and if he has, no problem.

But if not, he's got to be supporting that young family, his wife, and that great big Tesla.

Must be nice.

Maybe you'd want to have a look in his bank account.

Stay frosty, you guys.

Wow.

What an accusation.

There's a lot there.

Number one.

We should point that backstory.

For people who don't know, Jack, it also did participate on a radio show.

We've mentioned it before.

A breakfast radio show in Melbourne Krishno Commentary.

You have resigned from that as well.

a Friday.

This Friday.

Celebrate your participation.

This week is my first week of, I mean, I've still got this to come to, but of doing nothing.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, Alice.

That was what we found was interesting, wasn't it, Ham?

Because the meeting starts at 9.45, which Jack can't get to because he's got an extended radio show and he darts across town from there.

Still playing the Sleepy Boy card.

No, I actually,

there was no...

There's no direct correspondence about whether I...

Because

now I haven't been to a meeting for the the show in years.

So I don't even know.

And the show's been so good, so you don't want to jinx it.

Last thing I want to do

is rock up and then, and no one expects me.

And then it puts things out of kilter.

Everybody's a bit confused.

And I don't know.

And there was just, there's no talk of it.

That's so considerate of you.

Thank you for not spooking us.

Because we would have been rocked.

Tell you what, though.

I mean, Alastair, just to get back to the message, as we say, love hearing people's messages.

He's done his own audition there for like like almost a conspiracy theory podcast.

Yeah.

I really did to seem like a guy.

I feel like I could have just easily watched that on YouTube.

If we were going to send someone around to Gordy as he goes to sleep for sure.

We're going to send someone around to Jack's house to, as Alistair said, look in his bank account.

I'd send Alistair.

Have you got another job?

I don't have another job.

Okay.

So is there any truth to the idea that the reason why you felt confident to quit your lucrative breakfast radio career is because you found the Bitcoin password and you've got that to lean on.

No, I promise you, look in my eyes, I promise you, I haven't found the Bitcoin password.

We just, we, we saved well and we live frugally.

Well, we knew the second half.

And

to frugal as well.

And if the if the cost of golf buggies and golf jackets is very low for us, then so be it.

Maybe I shouldn't say because there was a sensitive point about the golf buggy, but I did think of selling it secondhand this week just to make, just to keep the cash flow.

Wow.

Okay.

I thought if anyone caught me on marketplace or whatever, it would be a bad look.

I stole it from the people and then sold it for money.

An absolute reverse Robin Hood.

Steal from those that can use it and sell for thineself.

I didn't.

I didn't know.

Okay,

we've got to keep, I mean, this is fun, but we've got to keep moving, hand, because we have got tall hat discussions.

Yeah, it's so good that you don't have a job anymore, Jack, because you can come right on board here as helping the logistics, helping the fine-tuning.

Chief measurer or something like that.

Something.

I mean, we thought, let's actually get this going.

That we, we bought it up in jest.

Do we make the world's tallest hat?

It seems gettable, a five-meter hat.

I mean, it's nonsense like all world records, but it's time for action.

Yep.

It's time to actually start putting the angle grinder to the metal, then going, no, too heavy.

We need a lighter hat and just doing a few things.

We need to get in the workshop.

And it started with us taking on two, we're not going to say employees, colleagues.

Yeah, colleagues with the team.

Building the team, building the build team.

I mean, obviously, Oscar Piastri enjoys the fruits of being out in front.

and having a strong neck, but the whole McLaren team behind him is what gets him there.

And that's the team we're building at the moment.

Hey, these people will get us the Constructors Championship.

Doesn't matter who wears the hat.

This is the Constructors.

This is the dream team to get the hat made.

Do you want to start?

Because one came in on your side and one came in on my side that we're like, I think we've got them up on the phone.

Grace, ahoy to you.

Ahoy, boys, and happy birthday, Andy.

Oh, thank you, Grace.

Grace is so sitting straight into the team.

So excited about this.

You're a fourth-year aerospace engineer student.

I think we've mentioned Grace on one of the past pods.

Grace, we want to commission you to do the hat.

We had some reservations.

First one was, how busy are you at university?

We don't want this to take away from you, you know, obviously entering the workforce with as high as marks as possible.

Oh, that won't be a concern, boys.

Don't worry.

I'm actually finishing semester this week.

I have my satellite due.

And once that's in, I'm free to build the hat.

Are you building a satellite?

Yeah.

Okay.

And that's not just a name for a pro, like, that's a real satellite satellite that you guys are building.

Yeah, it's about a two-unit satellite.

So and it has to work as well.

So that's what we're doing this week.

What does two units mean?

It's like about 10 centimeters by 20 centimeters tall.

It's quite small, but

what is a hat that a very, very low orbit satellite of the head

in a fixed position.

That's awesome.

Tethered to the head.

Yeah, that's awesome.

Well, yeah, you're the person for this then.

So what we're wanting to, and this is slightly dangerous, Sam, because these two haven't met, but Sam reached out.

He's a composite manufacturer in Melbourne, largely in carbon fiber and fiberglass products.

He can make a very, very lightweight hat.

Sam, ahoy to you.

Ahoy, and Gusto to you.

Gusto, right back at you.

Gusto.

Okay, what a team.

So quickly, Sam, how expensive and hard it is to mold?

You know, what is the lightest material that you've got there in the workshed?

Well, it depends on how strong you want it it to be, really.

I mean, and also the shape.

I mean,

if we're talking just a plain old top hat, that's probably the easiest thing to make because all we need to do is lay up essentially around a cylinder.

If we're going for more of a witch's hat kind of thing, we've obviously, we've got to make the mold.

And that can be a bit tricky, but we're up for the challenge.

You know, anything's possible.

Well, I mean, I think we are happy with the top hat.

All the sketches have been of the top hat, but do you think that's going to be,

is that in any way heavier?

Well, it's more volume it's more internal volume than a cone isn't it but yeah it's got more internal volume but at the end of the day i mean the material at i mean probably ask the engineer she's probably uh able to work out how much more material there would have to be um it's a bit easier for her to do that but um great at the end of the day i mean it's it's not it's not too hard

grace do you think just listening to those face value obviously not with all the calculations do you think a top hat's a problem did you have an idea of what kind of hat we should be making well as soon as i heard sam come on i was quite excited because a composite structure was my exact idea um me too

how is this this is crazy all three of us

come up with a cs okay same wavelength yeah yeah and are you thinking top hat because i'm thinking sort of if you imagine top hat internal kind of

weight-bearing pole leading up from the head with some ribs heading out to the side.

And then we just skin it with you know we make that the carbon fiber on the inside and you just skin it with a material that's as light as possible yeah something like that so i'm not sure how much i want to say on air because there could be a current world record holder listening in oh

that's good stuff grace that's just just with a yes or no grace do you have a great trick up your sleeve yes this is awesome sam are you are you can this work where grace designs something and then you know we all get together again and she presents it to you sam and you go okay yeah we can pull that off or can we discuss this?

Like, you know, we've got builder and architect here.

It's often a very difficult, you know, a relationship.

Are you open to taking Grace's designs and giving a bit of feedback?

Absolutely.

I mean, I'm actually an industrial design student myself.

So

like, you know, where I'm used to working with engineers and stuff.

And yeah,

yeah, absolutely.

Let's go for that.

It doesn't, like we said, it's all about the constructors championship here.

We don't know who's going to wear the hat, but we probably need to know whose head it is now don't we because we'd be building it for their head because their head is the stable platform or do you feel like do we go bigger and then pad it so it then you don't don't think you want that if even any padding at between the band and the head a little bit of wiggle room at the base is a lot of wiggle room at the top and that's what i worry about we could also measure the largest diameter head and then we could actually make a few sleeves to sit in so we can reduce the internal diameter where it sits on on your head.

And so that means multiple people can wear it.

That's a bit of a test.

Yes, because of course we'll want to wear it after the death.

Who knows what Ben's coming in?

You've got to make a beautiful hat, you've got to show it off.

I love that it's a top hat.

I feel like that makes sense.

It's a grand

hat should be in a tux.

I was going to say, tails.

Yeah, tails, if possible.

Well, gloves, tails.

Within the rules are your louder cane

for stability.

That's assisted walking.

i think

yeah i think you can have a carbon fiber cane as well bring it

bring it on the day i think we should be able to have a vanity cane that doesn't touch the ground yes definitely yes i agree with that okay well guys this is tremendous first question for you grace is how long do you think you need for design and then the follow-up question will be sam how long does it take to make one uh design wise shouldn't take too long it's more i would say we probably need a couple iterations just making sure design's design's all good

and that it can actually stay on the head.

That's my main concern is like design doesn't take too long.

It's more making sure that actually physically works and going from there.

I've got a question.

Now, we

I think we ruled out chin strap because we thought that was a helmet.

It was cheating, even though some hats do have a drawstring underneath.

We thought that's probably going to get poo-pooed.

Any wobble of the head, front or back, will create huge, could create huge structural forces in the, you know, if you think of the top hat as a skyscraper, if suddenly the ground underneath started moving around massively, that's no good.

Is there anything in the rule book to rule against?

I'm not saying a chin strap, but you create a neck brace for the wearer that keeps the head very stable, but the neck brace does not connect to the hat.

You've got to get onto the rules, people.

Yeah, because that's, that to me seems like the best loophole.

Could you hide it in the collar?

A scarf, a cravat.

yeah, a cravat,

yeah, but the hiding is the problem.

The word hiding is the worry, we're not gonna, no, but we're not going to, yeah,

remember, yeah, we are going to wear a cravat, but we're not going to hide

a cravat, but I might wear that big fat cravat.

All right, and Sam, how long does it take to make something like this?

Um, again, it depends on the actual shape.

Um, I I mean if it can be designed around

a diameter that we can like in a pipe that we can purchase, then not too long at all.

But obviously the more custom the shape, the longer it's going to take.

But

how many mils thick do you think the

hat will be?

At best, maybe two, three mil.

That's a nice thin hat.

That's a good thin hat.

Just wanted to be well balanced.

Oh my God, that's a thin.

If you're going to thin hat fetish, this is the show for you.

All right, well, we'll leave you and Grace to connect on that and discuss the idea of foam inserts, et cetera.

We obviously won't call the neck brace company because we're not doing that.

But we will organise a big cravat.

I'm saying before the end of July.

Before the sun sets on July,

we shall have the record.

No, I think that's...

This is what you need for stuff like this.

Like Kennedy going, we will go to the moon.

I think we just need to chat to them about their timelines and uh and then what's their honestly ando what's this i'll send you this doco on the moon landing this is how it happened kennedy has got up first and he went end of the decade okay you need that end of july

end of july

ando yep um

We are a lot of things for a lot of people on this show, but I like to think we're the safest space on earth for people that feel things very, very deeply and often handle the torment of living in a world where inanimate objects around them are given the full range and full spectrum of human emotions.

And they must deal with those and they must accommodate those.

They're, of course, extreme empaths, love to hear their stories.

And the opener for the segment is every single song in the world played all together at once, so no one feels left out.

Do you want to kick it off your mate?

Let me kick it off because I've actually, I had this thought thought the other day.

I didn't conduct the remedy, but I was actually thinking about this the other day.

This is from Brandon.

He goes, I was searching for an app on my phone and I came across the Gumtree app.

Oh, yes.

Felt really sad for Gumtree, having essentially been wiped out by Facebook Marketplace.

So every few days, I just open the app and have a little look around with absolutely no intention of buying anything.

But I just want the app to know that people could still be interested.

Nothing more than feelings.

It's from Jack.

My dad's an extreme empath.

He insists on parking his car at the airport so the car has a view.

He always parks it facing a window or an open area, seeing outside, ideally a few levels up, and usually in the east or west, so it gets a nice sunshine or sunset.

Wow.

That's a great owner.

This is from,

well, I believe her name's APS, APS,

on a multi-outlet power board.

She writes, it's not 100% full.

I make sure every outlet gets its moment in the spotlight.

I rotate the power cables around so every connection shares the load equally, ensuring no outlet feels overworked or left out.

Wow.

Unplug the TV and I'll move you now to second from the left outlet.

Oh my gosh, that's get a bit of juice from that.

For Paul, there are several variations of the yellow and black wildlife road signs warning of koalas in the area where he...

Yeah, there are a few different ones, aren't there?

There's just one where the koala is sitting.

There's a version of the sign where the koala is waving, as if to say hello to the cars driving by.

I've recently discovered I'm a closet empath.

When traveling on a country road and I pass a waving koala sign, to my surprise, I found myself involuntarily waving back.

to be absolutely clear.

I will not wave if the koala is not waving.

Yes, I'm just aware of them.

Then this is from Stephen.

And no offense, Steve.

I mean, I know this week has a better empath, but I feel like this is too far.

Often I receive spam or unsolicited emails.

Instead of deleting them or moving them to the spam folder,

I instead store these in a folder named articles.

So this way they don't feel so unwatching.

No,

it's Too much.

Hey, we did give ourselves two years

to sort something out.

We do like to do that on this show, thinking that any distance of about three months away, anything more than three months will never happen.

Yes.

But as we know, two years does come around.

And time waits for no man.

It just keeps on coming along.

How long has it I was going to say.

Yeah, now a year in.

See, it goes so far.

A year.

A year into trying to get a dollar coin.

A year and 10 shows.

I think it was the first show of last year.

To bring everybody up to speed.

I mean, we're going to have to, like, we're actually going to have to see the smokestacks pumping soon, like at the mint making these things.

Yes, yes.

To remind people where we're at.

We wanted a got dollar coin.

We are the only podcast in the world, to our knowledge, that gives a listener, if they come up to us in the the flesh, a dollar.

For services rendered to the dollar coin, that would almost be enough to recognize the show, not us personally, but the show as the guardians of the dollar.

Yep.

And

we first wanted to chat to the treasurer.

We got in touch with his hairdresser.

We thought that was the best angle into him.

He

seems to have had haircuts since then.

We haven't heard back from the hairdresser.

Doesn't seem like that's only the channel, the right channel.

Then the Royal Australian Mint, to be honest, are a bit dour about the whole thing.

And they said that, no, you have to be dead to be on a coin, which is not true.

They throw rules that they always seem to break.

Sir Paul McCartney has got one at the moment, apparently.

An Australian dollar coin.

Yeah, Australian dollar coin.

Well, that makes no sense.

And he's not dead.

And he's not

Australian.

So, you know,

they're doing up there.

I mean, if they throw the book at us and go, oh, yeah, or if you're a Beatle.

You're like, okay.

Well, you're just kidding us on loopholes now.

Yes.

Tell you what.

This was shocking news this week.

Have you seen this, Jake?

No.

They're releasing another coin, the Mint, a specialized one.

What is it?

Women's Weekly Birthday Cake Book coins.

We were a big fan of the book.

Not a cake, a coin.

They've got, well, they haven't announced how many coins, but in

certainly more than six by the designs.

So you can get the ducked cake, you can get the Humpty Dumpty cake on a coin.

Like these are prints on a coin.

Of a cake.

Of a cake.

And there's, it seems like a cake.

My guest is going to be.

I feel like they're doing it to anger us.

Like, if they are just trying to think of anything they can put on a coin that's not this show.

Exactly.

How can you say the rules are so strict and then give 12 designs out to a coin?

I made up 12, but it looks like about 12.

It would be a lot.

I mean, you think of the classics.

Humpty.

Yep.

Yeah.

Swimming pool.

The rocket ship.

The swimming pool, rocket ship, race car, track for number eight.

Train.

Train.

Yeah.

I actually love those cakes.

They have great cakes.

Oh, they're a great cake.

That was my favourite book as a kid.

But it just didn't seem to me that they're being so strict with the rules when suddenly a cake can be on a coin.

I mean, we all have beautiful memories, okay, of that, of, you know, sitting down with your mum or your dad, listening to the YouTube of that.

cake book while your dad played chess or World of Warcraft at the end of your bed, okay?

And that was a special time for a lot of kids.

But it doesn't mean you need to put it on a coin.

If you're going to do it, put one on a coin.

Yeah.

Well, I'm happy for them.

It sounds like I'm having a go at the cakes.

I'm happy for them to be on a coin, but

what it represents to me is a bit of a kick in the teeth to us.

They say the rules are so strict, and now

people's favorite cakes from the 1980s are going on a coin.

I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but every time we've had a rule given to us, it's melted under scrutiny.

Much like the icing on the fluffy duck can melt.

It's buttercream icing if it gets too warm.

coming from every coming from a cake man

he knows if you want to talk about fondant or buttercream i will tell you the right conditions in which to prepare it so i mean come on

anyway where we left it last i had a little bit of news for you that was mysterious and just because it has been a bit of time i can't remember where it was last left was it something to do with the west australian mint because they kind of like operate separately do we were we chasing that channel this was the last thing that we talked about

i saw a dog take a poo.

Wasn't mine, my dog, or my poo.

Glad a dog didn't take your poo.

A female owner went across and I saw her do that thing where she goes to open her bag,

little pouch, and doesn't have any plastic bags in it, which is a terrible thing for a dog owner.

You're like, oh, God, I can't pick it up.

She turns around and she sees another dog owner, which is just euphoric.

Great.

They might have one.

They can lend.

She comes across to me and says, hey, do you mind if I borrow a bag?

I said, no problem.

She goes, oh God.

Yeah, don't borrow it.

I don't want to borrow it.

She goes, oh, my God.

We've been talking about you guys this week.

And I said,

why?

And she said, we're working on the dollar coin.

Wow.

And I said, do you work at the mint?

She said, no.

She told me where she works, but I'm not allowed to say where she works for fear of, because it was very, she said it's very confidential.

And she said, for fear of that getting out and now ruining our chances.

Is it government?

It's not government.

But who else works?

Who else is working on course?

All I'm saying is,

even though we've gone silent, playing hard to get has worked because people are thinking about it.

Wow.

So that's where it's at.

And it continues to work, playing hard to get, to the point where we'd stopped talking about it and couldn't remember where the story was up to for me, Jack.

And

hadn't heard from or seen that woman again.

That's how mysterious it was.

So I was like, oh, well, that must have gone away because that's five months ago or whatever.

I'm at a Bucks party on the weekend.

A guy comes up with me to me and goes,

you know what?

I said, what?

He goes, I work with the lady in the park.

And I had no idea what he was talking about.

This is incredible.

Which lady?

He said, remember the story you told of the podcast?

It's like a spider's revelry.

Yeah.

I said, oh, my God.

He goes, I'm in the same team

we have a meeting about the dollar on monday that is awesome also awesome if this guy's just remembered that episode and could just say that to you because i mean anyone could come up and go you know the lady in the park i'm her boss

really yep and i'm flying to canada on wednesday well unlike

to talk to them about it yep Unlike the lady in the park,

I exchanged details with this fellow.

I said, can I tell everybody the business?

He said, no.

I said, can I tell everybody what we're talking about?

He said, no, but I'm doing it anyway.

Will this jeopardise the coin?

I don't think so.

Great.

Because, yeah.

So

it's Monday.

It's this coming Monday is the meeting.

And I'm going to reach out to him.

and to see how it went.

And I guess I don't know what kind of info you can give us, but hang on, so, okay.

This whole thing's just, okay, this is not a criticism.

I'm just so I've got this straight.

This is just you dipping back in to say it's still bubbling.

Yes.

Okay, so I thought we were going to get more information than that, but the meeting's coming up.

The meeting hasn't happened yet.

No, the meeting's on Monday.

Do you know what the meeting's about, but you can't tell us?

Yes.

Hey, what's the bit that you could, what's the bit you were going to, what's the bit you were going to tell us where you said, don't tell them, but you're going to do it anyway?

You haven't told us the company or what the meeting is.

He said, don't say that we're having a meeting.

Who?

It's like, we don't know who it is.

That's why I don't mind.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So some organization that's not government, but has the power to influence coins is having a meeting on Monday.

Yes, and obviously they've been talking about it for five months.

So you'd think someone would have poured cold water on it if it was a no, is my point.

If it was not popular.

Yep.

Have they produced coins before?

Yes.

More than one?

Yes.

Jack, do you have any questions?

Yeah, so the girl in the park, was that last year?

Yes.

So do you feel like that's a bad sign that five months has passed and not a lot has been done?

Does it seem like the kind of company where the wheels turn slowly?

Yes.

And

I think it's a good sign because

we know it seems like there's a heap of red tape for this thing.

Like it's already been over a year.

I think if it was simply a form on the Australian Mint's website that you could fill out to ask for a dollar or a $50 note with your face on it or whatever.

It's like they do with M ⁇ M's type of squeeze.

Lots more people would do it.

So you're right.

The red tape's phenomenal.

And so the fact that there's,

I mean, it could be, I wonder if it's the final meeting.

Like they might go, okay, we need to just get on with this.

Do you know what the meeting's about, but you're not telling us?

No.

He said, we've got a meeting about the coin.

But yeah, but did you say how many meetings have there been?

Is it the final meeting?

Will we have an answer?

No.

Should have.

It was actually quite

a very quick conversation.

Yeah.

I think we're just leaving it a little unsatisfied.

You've done good, great stuff, but is that what you're doing?

Yeah.

Was he a participant on the Bucks Day or was he like an erotic dancer?

Is that why it was so quick that he just whispered in your ear as you slipped a dollar coin in his G-stream and he just left?

Did it feel like one of those filler episodes of Game of Thrones?

Yeah,

we couldn't afford to do dragons in this one, so we're just going to have everyone in castles talking about when the dragons might appear next.

Guys, we've tackled a lot of, I think we've done a great job, a great service to the chocolate confectionery and supermarket food industry on this show.

Sometimes...

We've celebrated them, but we've also kept them on their toes.

Yeah, and sometimes challenge them.

Who does the stars?

How do you do the stars?

Well, that's well documented.

The health stars.

Something in the chocolate slash ice cream world I wanted to bring up.

I feel like we're always, we're not just nitpickers, we're improvers as well.

We always want to see, you want to see the good things get even better.

Well, how do you improve without critical feedback?

That's it.

I mean, you assume these companies...

Will you hope these companies are doing it themselves?

Like, I'd like to think if you're in charge charge of something, because remember, if you're in charge of a snack, you are in charge of sometimes the best part of someone's day.

Do you risk it often?

Like biscuit.

Do you risk it?

Hearing most of the sound of a word?

Yeah, biscuit.

I love a biscuit.

No, do you, because we'll be at the supermarket and Beck goes, I'll be able to do it.

Let's try something new.

These look nice.

We should try this.

And I sit there and go, why?

The last big risk I took was going over to Cadbury Marvelous Creations, and I don't regret it.

Really?

Yeah.

I got

the improvements.

No, but I saw it had popping candy in it, and I have a sucker for popping candy.

So full credit, full credit to the brain.

It's based, though.

It's a block of chocolate.

It's like when Beck finds some exotic new brand

quaddy competitive industry, the block of chocolate, you've got a lot of, lot of

risk.

It's not a huge risk.

It's like, cat.

When are you talking about?

It is a big risk.

I'm usually on an arrow, but a peppermint aero.

And I thought, all right, that's a huge job.

What kind of a risk are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

Eating a roll of tinfoil instead of an ice cream.

No, that goes, hey, look at these.

You know, there's some weird brand that they're doing, you know, something, you know, peppermint and whatever.

Let this sound like a good snack.

And I'm like, oh, let's just stay with the usuals, pepper, you know, the aero mint or a cadbri block of chocolate.

Yeah, but what's the, you need to give me the example of what she's saying because it doesn't sound like it's too different to my risk.

And if I'm being slandered for not taking big enough you went from one big brand, Aero, to another big brand, Cabri.

It's 98% Cabri chocolate.

We know exactly what that is.

And then it's got a little bit of risky from 98%.

And you know what popping candy is.

Popping candy is

what about the smarties in there?

What about the jelly?

What about the jelly in there?

A lot of risk.

It's not that.

It's a very crowded chocolate, actually.

It's a very crowded chocolate.

So it was a big risk.

I think all I'm saying is it's a no.

It's like you won't even name what your risk was.

What's the big risk you took?

She's like, okay, it's McDonald and Farrelly's new chocolate range of organic peppermint with crispy centers.

And I'm like,

why are we even doing this?

That's the risk.

That's a risk.

But now I feel bad for the supermarkets chocolate makers.

Yeah, well, that's true.

There is the artisanal bars, but you know, honestly, they're not at the big supermarkets.

I think there's a lot of brands that are made to look like, oh, we're just

tinkering.

And we've got a little place out in the country and, you know, we hand make these chocolate bars.

But I'd like to see that.

You're in 800 stores or in Colorado.

If you're in a cold store or a Woolies, if you're in a Woolly's, you're doing all right.

Anyway, I know what I'm talking about.

What I wanted to say was, like, I want to focus today on a product that I think is doing well.

And I hope the ones that are doing well are still critical of how they could be better.

E.g., and this is not the ice cream I want to talk about, but you look at the Milo ice cream, which is the cup and the spoon.

Now, they're they're doing great okay

i think you're probably a fan of a milo ice cream i know i am i haven't i don't gravitate towards it but i would be a fan of you a pretty heavy milo user i was yeah i used to use milo a lot

they're good but you some you sometimes look at them and go okay are you absolutely at the top of your game sometimes i worry about the consistency of that ice cream it's a little very hard for the power of the spoon they provide yeah and that's going to be a nightmare for them because i think sometimes the shop provides the spoon and it's not the official Milo spoon that comes with it.

Surely it would be in the,

is it built in the packaging?

I think it's a gray area.

Sometimes it is.

Sometimes.

It's a gray area.

It's a gray area.

It's a spoon or it doesn't.

Well, it's not often not built into the packaging.

Sometimes it's in the ice cream container, like in the ice cream freezer.

Oh, right.

At the milk bar or the kiosk or whatever.

So

when they come from the Milo ice cream factory,

they send them in a box.

And you're relying on the workers to

put them there and to keep it organized.

They could have sent it.

it.

And God knows if I was at the servo, I'd be like, mate, I don't know where those are.

I'm just saying.

I've had instances where I've bought the Milo cup and you've had to use a different spoon that's shattered in the Milo cup.

So you feel bad for Milo in that instance, but you go, my user experience here now is deeply down.

Again, that's just an example.

Here's who I do want to talk about.

Magnums.

Oh,

now you're talking.

What kind of magnums?

Almond?

My favorite.

Yeah, I do like an almond, but I'll go a plane or a mini, mini, you know, like I don't go too crazy.

I know there's been some wild experiments in flavors, but I do like the classics.

Too much.

Oh, I don't like it, any go.

Yeah, because you're a little boy.

You're like, oh, your sugar looks sweet.

You missed too.

Just a little boy, critched by two layers and caramel.

Now, I had a problem, as we well know, when I was 16 with Magnum Egos.

Yes.

And I was a little burnt by that.

They're not alone.

I don't know what he does.

What happened?

I worked at a video store, now defunct, but people may remember Video Easy well.

And I, much like yourself, Jack, I was always interested at the store I worked at as to where the legalities lay of what was and wasn't mine.

You can eat a few Magna Migos on your shift.

That's fine.

Is a sentence that wasn't said to me, but

one that I certainly assumed could have been said.

The same way that you might have thought you heard, hey, look, you know, the movie tickets are so expensive, no harm in you taking a little bit

there's this no the the parallel there would be eating the popcorn sorry

i forgot the code name we used

so

i'll tell you what happened one day

but they can track video easy's demise not to the fact that dvd came before

you can also track haish's weight

literally it all started how many how many were you eating personally okay it all started it all started one sunday when when the the ice cream delivery came.

And I happened to be there on a Sunday afternoon, which is not really a peak time,

unusual for me to be working that shift.

I was just added on on peak times as a 16-year-old.

Saw the ice cream delivery come.

I go to the manager, hey, who's the owner of the store?

Do we need to scan these in?

Like, do we need to put them in the computer so we know how many we've got before we sell them?

He goes, nah, mate, just dump them all in.

And I went, really?

Loophole.

So

the computer doesn't know where, how many we have that I do.

And so I began to, instead of spending, you know, $10 a shift to go next door and buy a Savlaki for dinner, I would just sustain myself on Magnumig

to make sure I had enough calories to get through the shift.

As it turns out, each Magnumigo is, I think, about 400 to 500 calories and I was eating four a night.

So

I was eating quite a bit.

Yes.

Yes, I was able to gain quite a layer of blubber to see me

through the winter, through the harsh video winter, and hopefully still be there in spring.

And so my pants exploded one night.

Exploded one night.

No, they didn't.

I was waiting to put a new release back.

And my button and ass both popped at the same time.

And something deep inside me, which was by that stage was definitely a core of Magnum Egos, said,

maybe we've overdone these.

And the manager said, gee, we're moving a lot of ice creams in winter.

Not very far.

We're moving them from fridge to desk.

So what do we want to talk about Magnums?

All right, what I was going to say was, ignoring the Magnum Ego, although this issue does happen with Magnum Egos,

you know, everyone's got their favorite Magnum.

We're a big fan of Magnums in our house.

One of the big

letdowns of the Magnum, and they would admit this because it's part of their feature as well.

They got a thick layer of chocolate on them.

It is a very must-be-nice ice cream.

I understand that, but it's a special treat.

As you bite into the magnum, you get the giant shard.

Yes, right?

Because

it's such a thick layer of chocolate.

We don't want to change the thickness of the chocolate.

Then you're playing in a whole different category.

They're in the thick chocolate category.

You know, you're looking at like some of the, no offense, but some of the buller stuff.

And that's for kids, like that don't understand the thickness of the chocolate game.

Agreed.

It happened the other day, right?

We bit into the Magnum, huge shard just shears off the side.

Like like a whole side and most of the north face of the wall of chocolate just collapses to the floor.

And you go,

what do we do about this?

Because that is an absolute ice cream disaster.

It's not Magnum's fault for making it so thick because that is what we like about the ice cream.

And your heart breaks because you go, I want to help you, Magnum.

I want to help you, but I don't actually really know.

how to fix this problem.

The best I could come up with is they make it with inbuilt fault lines.

Oh, yeah.

Like little panels rather than one big sheet.

I know.

So, I mean, could they experiment with that?

So it would be

easy, but when you dip the ice cream in the chocolate, you also lay like a netting in it that then comes out after it's set.

Yep.

And it's, it's, so you might lose a bit, but you could never kind of shear off the whole thing.

That's interesting.

But what about this?

They burrow through the ice cream and leave holes.

So when they pour the chocolate chocolate in, it creates guide ropes on the inside that hold.

Oh, so you've got chocolate core.

You've got one side's holding the other.

Small lines of chocolate core that hold the other side.

So fully, yeah, fully injection molded chocolate, now wall-to-walled chocolate, now with wall-to-wall chocolate,

enhancing the structural integrity of your ice cream.

And giving you more chocolate.

So it's like buried kind of stalactites and stalagmites of chocolate that are linked up.

They're like, oh, that's maybe they don't have to go all the way through.

I like the stalagtites.

So it's just spikes.

Just little spikes all the way down.

To stop large piece shear-offs.

But then

you got danger of eating spikes.

Will you be scared of it?

Turbo on.

No.

But that is like, you're calling it a spike.

You're calling it a spike.

This is the chocolate game is a hard game because now you've got to remember you've got soft mouthed consumers as well.

Calling the spike.

Thanks for listening.

The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.