2025 Ep 292 - The North Man Prophecy

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Cause the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three,

two.

Sorry, still buffering.

One.

Ahoy to me stub.

Hamish.

Parts of a ticket?

A hoidemy other bit.

And I'm the perforated line.

No,

a hoidemy flask.

It's a stub and a flask.

Stub flask.

Like a stubby.

Like a stubby, something you would drink alcohol out of.

They're actually

people.

People.

Character names.

Positions.

Character names.

I'm Starbuck.

Are these My Little Ponies?

No.

Thunderbirds.

The three senior senior officers aboard the whaling ship in the very famous novel Moby Dick.

Really?

I have not.

I don't think I've read it.

I know the opening lines call me Ishmael, but I only know it for its opening line because it was often referenced in Snoopy comics.

Scubhammy is a musician.

So my headmate, jovial, easygoing, humorous character.

Thank you.

Flask.

Rather aggressive and combative personality over there, Jack.

And Steve's the third mate in Starbuck.

Just so happens it's the first mate.

So is Ishmael not actually a character?

I think he's the captain, isn't he?

Hunting Moby Dick.

We're out of that.

I'm out of there.

Oh, alert.

Alert.

We've got trivia nerds rushing to give us feedback, as always, when we just go off on hunches and

strong vibes based on things we read in Snoopy.

I've got Captain.

Oh, Ahab.

I think Ahab's the captain.

So now we've got about five people.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, it's a big boat.

Yeah.

And then

Moby's not in the boat.

He's under the boat.

Big though.

Also ahoy to Dave.

Dave Nolan who went to Hamishnodi.com uploaded what he's been doing to keep us abreast of his actions.

Ahoy boys, happy birthday Andy.

Just doing a bit of a trip.

I'm in this little southeast Queensland town called Inglewood.

Bit of a one horse town and even the horses left I think.

Local motels advertising it has colour TV so she's a bit behind the times.

But interestingly what they do have is the Australian Tobacco Museum.

So I thought, I'll go have a look at that.

So I went in there, and you wouldn't believe it.

Or maybe you would.

Just pictures of Andy Lee everywhere smoking cigarettes like you wouldn't believe.

Beck would be shocked.

Anyway, boys, keep up the good work.

Cheers.

Sepia photos of people that look like Andy passing out

sample gaspers at the Gold Rush things like that.

Not true.

Hey.

Smoke a lucky stick while you pan, sir.

What's the worst that could come of it?

Andy's just trying to get me back on track by saying the one word that's on the run sheet.

Hats.

So

get into hats.

No, tallest hats.

We have talked about the world's source hat for a while.

Quick refresher.

I think we just brought it up as a joke.

I think I was saying I was looking at my kids are quite into the Guinness Book of Records.

It's a fun, fun book to read when you're a kid.

And the tallest hat is about five meters.

And

obviously when you're going for tallest hat

it's kind of pointless like you are just going for the tallest hat there's no function to the height of a hat there's a function to the width of the brim but even i feel like we pushed those boundaries pretty far in our increasing brim prank last year yeah i've seen

there's a lot of things in guinness world records that aren't practical in fact they all aren't practical you're right yeah so it could be i mean if you

obviously some parents put like a flag on their kids when they're in crowd oh like

identifying things.

So, Andy's got the tall hat, so you can pick him out.

If you're the parent that wants to identify the child the most, make sure you get the tallest hat, five-meter hat.

If everyone starts doing it, if all kids are wearing two-meter hats, how will you know where your kid is?

So many emails have going.

We said, and I'd have to rewind exactly for this, but I think our vibe was like, look, we're not doing that.

We don't want to do that.

We don't want to do this.

We've got

this on a way to somewhere else.

Yes, we accidentally passed this.

And

we've been in radio for, you know, let's say 20 plus years.

Everyone's had a crack at a Guinness World Rocket.

Every single radio show in the world.

And we've kind of always viewed it as, with all due respect to our, our brothers and sisters in radio, kind of easy, low-hanging fruit.

Yeah.

Like you, everyone, if you got

hacked, if you can be like, look,

hack content.

With all due respect, hack content.

If you got, if you can be bothered,

you could also have the most grapes in a bathtub if you can be bothered or whatever.

Has your radio show gone for one?

No, but we used to have Shane Crawford come in as our footy correspondent once a week.

He did one once a week, didn't he?

He was at the point on the footy show where he was doing one a week.

Yeah.

And that's when you know that they're not that special if you can break a record per week.

Yeah, yeah.

Because if now if it's like, oh, okay, well, I'll, you know, I'll...

put the most amount of roller skates in a drying machine

but with custard on my head yeah

they become so specific don't they anyway so that's why we were like, no, no, no, we're not doing the tallest hat.

We might be.

It struck a nerve.

Everyone's then, so many people are good while aboard.

You struck a nerve can be a bad thing.

It's struck an erogenous zone.

More accurate.

So it's hit one of them.

People feel good about it.

Don't they?

So many oohs and years written down.

Oh, yeah.

Keep it right there, boys.

Keep the tall hat stuff right there because just keep going exactly like that.

Don't change it.

Don't change it.

That's a big.

And we want to stop.

But we can't.

Little bit note, but we also put your pleasure ahead of our

joke or whatever it is.

So keep this happy.

All right, we're doing the hat.

We might be doing the hat because of it.

We're just going to do it.

And like,

let's start with a few things that have come in.

First of all when you read out the rules originally which we'll have to go back and study more closely because we just remember you fleetingly telling us but something that people are really gravitating uh gravitating to and jumping on is the fact that you measure from the base i think the word base was used base of the hat now adam spencer who's a big fan of the show hello spence spence he wrote in saying why don't you do a very long legionnaires hat clever

lab i imagine it it's measured up into the sky i'll get another email from a guy here josh Josh Mutton, same idea.

Yeah, he's just like, look, because that's the base.

So you could have it go right down to your feet.

And you're going to add, for us, Andrew, we're over 1.9 meters.

So you're adding, let's say, 1.8 meters of free ice, but adding the flap on the back.

If it goes all the way down to your ankles, I worry that that is an obvious loophole.

They might go, no, it's from where the hat attaches to your head.

Yeah.

I would argue that it's the base.

Yes.

And yeah, I love it because

then downwards from there.

Some people were suggesting corks hats.

Like is the base

of a cork hat.

I don't think the base of a corked hat is where the corks dangle.

No.

I think the base is the part that goes around your head.

I've got an email here from a guy called Blake.

I'm just going to bang through a few ideas here.

Blake, he goes, I think I found an inexpensive and easy way to construct it, which is not really our goal.

I'm happy to chuck a lot of money at this.

The main support, but thank you, though, for

looking.

Because what about telescopic fishing pole?

I found a 6.2 meter version for 47 bucks online.

right i'm sure a superior pole exists an sp if you will but a fishing rod would also conveniently fit into the center hole on top of a skateboarding helmet once you have that you can make the rest of the hat with some asu posters taped into a tube shape secured to the pole that's not what i do at cardboard being far too thick but i understand he's he's saying you've got 6.2 meters of stability there now you just got to something

check the rules on that whether there's a spire whether you have to you're allowed to have an internal spire you think it's got to be hollow.

I don't know.

That's what I think.

I think that's why we need to go through this.

The other part that I want to lock down is, can you have a chin strap?

Because he's saying put it to like

a helmet.

It does feel like cheating in a way.

Although, you look at all the kids, like all the wide-brimmed hats you play around at school, you do have a chin strap.

You're allowed a little rope strap.

There are lots of

people in the world that have a chin strap.

It's just where the hours.

It's just where the hours is allowed to.

Baggy greens don't have a chin strap.

There are some that don't and would look silly with it.

That's true.

Can I throw this at your hand just for these people offering their assistance?

Grace, 21.

I am fourth year aerospace engineer.

Hired.

At USYD.

The world's tortoise hat has piqued my interest, and I believe I can design a 10-meter-tall hat that meets all requirements.

As to not take the record from you, I would merely like to do the design and build the hat for you, and you take all the glory, which is something that does appeal to us.

That's some of our preferred terms.

Yeah.

Yeah, great.

She's shortlisted for staff.

That's exactly the kind of brain power we need on this.

Adam is having a thing.

He goes, think I got the perfect solution.

My pitch is simple.

Tall chef's hat, but made out of the same material the wavy tube men at the front of car dealerships are made of.

Needs to be tightly fitted around the head.

So maybe some sort of elastic band or drawstring.

Then we just pump her full of helium.

It'll be both lightweight and structurally strong.

Happy for you guys to take the credit.

Just a gracious nod my way whilst completing the required walk would be appreciated.

Helium's not a bad idea.

Helium's a good idea, and I think we absolutely employ it.

Oh, yeah.

In whatever the final structure is, I think we make it airtight to the head and pump it full of helium.

Yes.

Dave Hodges from the US also wrote in saying,

let's use helium.

I think pumping the whole thing, he just had a series of balloons inside a giant top hat, which I think.

Yeah, but you really would need the chin strap when you then it could create the hilarious mishap where it's too many and he floats away.

I'll do the chin strap, Andy.

It's pinching in.

It's pinching in.

I've got a scary email here

from anonymous world record holder.

Hello, fellas.

I thought I'd send you a quick email.

I'm the current world record holder for the largest hat.

I heard what you said about not wanting to teen up and I'm glad you said no because I think we said it sometimes.

Do we do it with him or do we beat him?

Yeah, because he was Australian, that's right.

Yeah, I think he's from Melbourne.

Got no chance of beating my hat.

Really, this is just a gloating email to say, I have the record, you're never going to get it.

All the best, your enemy.

It's nice to have a nemesis for something like that.

Do you think he really wrote that though?

Any old stranger wrote that?

He might have dictated it.

He might be so powerful, he has henchmen.

Have you written that yourself to try and enthuse

everyone's talking?

Yeah, no, no.

We hit a nerve on him.

That wasn't an erogenous zone.

The opposite.

Depends what you're into.

Sometimes they can be very close to each other or at the same time.

Hey, I'm Casey.

Ahoy, boys, in relation to the tallest hat, also an aerospace engineer, but I own a 3D printer and happy

to help out with a 3D scan of a head if we want to make sure the aerodynamic tall hat can fit perfectly on a head.

That's very

generous offer, but we do have heads.

Why don't we just use our heads?

Getting the shape of a heads not our main material

problem, but that's a great, I mean, keep all anyone in the science field, we keep them close.

Look, I think we start chasing this and we start assembling a bit of a crack team to engineer the hat with these ideas.

I think helium is great.

We'll look at, we can do the central structure.

Flaps, good loophole, probably out, the Legionnaire cheat.

This comes from Nat

and does flag, I think,

a good thing for us to flag sort of as we enter the R ⁇ D stage.

Hello, boys, just listening to you deliberate who would wear the World's Tours hat, had immediate concerns about little boy Jack and his extremely weak neck.

I must remind you that while you were bringing peace to the north in Darwin, you traveled on a slightly bumpy road.

This resulted in Jack kinking his neck and ruling him out for the day.

So I think it's best up to you, Hamish or Andy, to carry the load.

Well, I mean, you guys can attest to how bumpy that road was.

And you can't really even...

My neck was fine.

No, no, but you were in the front of the car, and the back of the car is where we were getting the most shock.

Just the shockwave.

Okay.

Well, if you do want to wear the hat, Jack, we'll need to run you through a series of speed bump tests to make sure it can handle it.

I've been pondering that as well.

I wonder whether, because we have to walk how far with the hat on.

I wasn't very far.

Five, ten meters, ten steps, something like that.

Should we have in the lead up

have some kind of situation training method or competition between the three of us who can walk the furthest with, I don't know, with books on their head, whatever we decide, just to pick the right

thing.

Or do we get, would we bring someone from outside like Daniel Ricardo?

Because they have to have Formula One drivers have to have really strong necks for GPS.

That would be funny.

We need the person with the SP, superior posture

to be able to handle that.

And that could be...

Yeah, Ricardo, he's not doing any F1 stuff, is he?

Because he's just everywhere you look, he's promoting something or he's got a whine out.

His calendar is freer.

I feel like of all the years of his career to test drive the world's tallest hat, this is the one.

Yeah, but I think he regards himself as being pretty cool.

So we've got to have a cool hat.

What are you saying, mate?

We haven't even built that, mate.

I think a 10-meter hat is going to be cool.

Yeah, good.

All good.

So, yeah, as far as Dan's concerned, I think he's like busily trying to catapult out of F1 and try and rebrand.

Yeah.

Try and brand.

And so

for just pitching him in the paddock, like, because he still goes to F1 events.

He's not wearing it there.

No, but I'm just saying, like, the strappers is sitting down in the box in front of someone.

Sorry, mate.

Can you take your hat off?

The people upstairs want you to take it off too.

And Oscar and that.

Like, what are you doing up to?

Miss F1?

No.

See that?

You guys are just winning championships.

I'm actually breaking actual records.

Everyone's won a race.

We've got to break the record.

I'm just not sure if it's going to be.

Well, we are.

We are.

We are.

We are scanning.

Yeah.

Guys, of course, the huge news from the week as people grapple to get their head around it is

Andy, again, congratulations, but your win in

the knee run as Larry the chosen one from the Conclave unfortunately

sorry it's getting a bit emotional

nothing to do with the food you were just eating before

had a peanut butter shake but also a little bit emotional unfortunately Larry was not able to beat you in the knee running race therefore

seems to be an incorrectly chosen one chosen chosen one or just one of those rare chosen ones that doesn't get the job done.

Now the wash up has been fascinating.

Yep.

As people have digested it, a lot of passage.

Like people have been looking at the video, watching the race, thinking about the conclave.

One of the key things that's come out of it,

I would say, from the post-conclave into Larry's run

is

a group of people that feel that

the Northman.

A lot of people seem to ground swell for that.

I mean, across every every social pipe.

If you just keep the pod right now, we encourage you to go back and start from the start.

But welcome.

Everyone's welcome.

A special skill last week.

The North Man was a guy that said that.

What was his name again, Jay?

His name was Charlie, and his special skill was he could stand anywhere.

You could put him anywhere, spin him around, blindfold him, put him inside, outside, and he would know where North is.

Yep.

Now,

he wasn't chosen from the Conclave.

No.

The whole point of the Conclave was to let the true chosen one emerge.

The

absolutely voracious appetite from people who kind of feel like a travesty took place, Jack, where the only time the votes weren't locked, one-all in the conclave was one of the rounds where Charlie got two votes.

Yes.

Now, people have gone a step further and looked into how the actual Pope Conclave works.

Unfortunately, the magic number is two-thirds in the Pope Conclave.

So a lot of people are like, you can't vote for yourself.

Yeah.

That's true.

So there were two aspects to it that we probably should have thought about.

Which is a shame because I actually watched the movie because I knew I was conducting the conclave, yet still failed to do what.

They don't make that clear in the movie.

No, I didn't think so either.

I've watched the movie as well.

He's just on a bunch of other stuff.

So he actually fulfilled the conclave rules.

So a lot of people pointed that to be like, he was the chosen one, but he was overridden by Jack just choosing Larry, the knee running.

That's why I think you see a lot of comments on Instagram and stuff going, North Man, North Man, we want North Man, King of the North, the King of the North, the North shall rise.

You see a lot of that.

You see a lot of, and a lot of people point to Larry's failure as evidence that, yes, of course he failed.

He wasn't the chosen one.

This all makes perfect sense in that lens.

Now, last week on the show, we had a Royal Commission.

We looked at everything that happened and we went, look,

blame was div'd up percentage-wise.

And I think we were left with we just said, Look, maybe if maybe if the speed undresser comes,

then

he's the only one who can lock it.

So I was kind of happy to put it to bed.

You know, there's always going to be a little bit of controversy about stuff on the show.

That's what we love about everyone's got their opinion, everyone has a different perspective

until I was in here a little earlier today before we began the show, and I'm poking around and a panel falls away from the wall

and behind the panel is a stone on the other side of this soundproofing here in the studio.

I gently press on the stone.

I do.

To my surprise it moves.

There was a strange symbol on the stone but I can come back to that on another show.

The panel moves.

I take out from behind it what seems to be

an ancient parchment that I hold now in my hand.

Looks

like your handpaper in your handwriting.

No, it's stained.

Yep.

As you can see, and torn.

It's torn?

Yep.

Now, I knew you'd say this.

I knew you'd be like, oh, did you just make that yourself?

So as soon as I realized what was going on, okay, I've uncovered some kind of tomb here.

Who knows what this is?

I quickly turned on the recording stuff so I could record me finding it.

That's the biggest shock that you knew how to turn on the recording.

Well, have a listen okay

the heck is this

so there we have actuality wow okay i did doubt i did play it again i did doubt you for a second but i can even hear the paper rustling if you listen carefully

The heck is this?

Like I said, I did doubt you, but now I don't.

So read out what's wrong.

What's this scroll?

It's a scroll.

Well, it looks to be some kind of,

I don't know, written by the ancient podcasters, I suppose.

Ones that have come millennia before us.

Should I just read it for you?

We can stop and analyze as it goes.

I've read ahead, but there's a few bits here where we might need to kind of piece a few clues together.

But I think we'll get it.

To podcaster of future.

Read, beware, one will emerge from conclave

through vote unfair.

That's a rhyme.

Oh, well, yes, it's sort of a cryptic rhyming

riddle because we know what he's talking about.

Yeah, through vote unfair, I suppose they're saying there'll be a conclave, but the vote will be unfair.

That checks out because the vote was overruled

by the marshal of the conclave

to save a segment.

One will stand small.

small.

He must be talking about the knee running.

Of course.

But though big of heart, short of line, he will fall.

Must be talking about him not winning.

The finish line, I think, they must meet.

Thy segment dead, no more will come forth.

Must be talking about how special skills is dead and now no more skills are coming forth.

But the curse will be lifted by the the true king of the not

oh it cuts out

well it's

what is it i don't know what the last bit says yeah it's ripped off the curse will be lifted by the true king of the not

could it could it be north and is it could it be merciless is it a capital n yep and what was the symbol on the stone that you told we can come back to in another episode okay um

but it looked a little like

what?

A rudimentary compass.

Pointing north.

There was a larger indent at the top of the compass where north traditionally is.

Now, I'm not, because I'm just putting facts out there.

I'm not trying to lead the witness.

I'm not saying some sort of ancient sect foresaw this and Charlie, the true king of the north, is the chosen one.

And we have to get him and do some sort of midnight ritual in the forest where we're all in robes and there's a bonfire and stuff and we make him point north.

I'm not saying that,

but isn't that an interesting thought?

I'm just saying

that

there's been a lot of groundswell to try and get the king of the north back in to do it.

Charlie, the fact that you've managed to find this parchment, it further puts

yeah.

If it was one of the

comments, then we could let it go.

But the parchment is so real, powerful, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, it's so real.

It's so convincing.

You can't hold something that's not real in your hands, and we have it here.

The curse will be lifted by the true king of the not.

I'll take this to the lab, and we'll do a little bit more digging around on this and have a think about what it means.

But I feel like, you know, since it's an ancient parchment, maybe I have a dig around for some more parchments and

it will have more details on what the ritual should look like.

Should we choose to do

if i have time should we choose to do north fest or have some sort of north ritual yep in the forest

in robes

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Before we go on, just like to say ahoy boys and happy birthday, Andy.

He's coming up.

Is it he's made us very aware.

Very aware.

Getting

lots of gift suggestion emails from Andy.

Real birthday time for Andy.

Oh, it's his birthday year.

His birthday year, but we're now coming to the birthday week where he makes an extra big deal of it.

And you might get a couple of links to fun places.

It might be cool to surprise him as an email I got during the week said.

Here's a place that could be fun to have a surprise party for me.

That's not true.

Anyway, yes.

So

to help Ando make a big deal.

A few people might remember a couple of years ago to celebrate Andy's birthday week.

We did Pleasure Fest.

Oh, you had the opposite of Upset Andy.

Yeah, I liked it.

Pleasure Andy.

And I thought we get a lot of submissions.

We get a lot more for Upset Andy, but we do get a few coming in for Pleasure Andy.

We collect them, we bank them, and once a year, as a special birthday treat, we turn the tables.

Now it's time to pleasure Andy.

We've come a long, long way together

through the fast times and the loose.

I've got to celebrate you, Andy.

I have to please you like I should

please Andy.

I have to please you.

It's deliberately flat and off time to annoy him.

Which is weird because it's meant to

to please him.

Just hearing back to that, I was like, oh, that's right.

I think it was a bit of a rush that day to do that.

And I meant to come back to that to clean it up.

Should we ever do it again?

However, fast and loose, who's got time to go back and re-record openers.

Ando, so many people to please you.

Just flick something to your computer there.

This is the first one from Mitch.

This is a visual one.

Look at this.

This is a run on Strava.

He has run six K's on a nose.

Pace, 6.00 kilometers.

Pace, 5 colon, 00 minutes per kilometer.

Time, 30 minutes, zero seconds.

Everything.

Do you love that?

Everything.

Everything nice and neat.

Yep.

How much would you love that?

Going out for a half an hour run, get home.

I've bloody done it.

Exactly the split.

It's tough to do.

Man, I know.

Even just the distance for me.

Well, I'm not getting the split.

Mitch, thank you for that.

That has pleased me on my so-called birthday week week.

In Inverted's Commons.

Well, it's not so-called.

It is your birthday week.

Okay.

Happy birthday.

So-called by you two.

Oh, mate.

I love this double act that you play on air.

Get on with it.

Who's this guy?

I'd love to have him around the office rather than sliding the innovations magazine from the airplane across to us with a few things circled.

Wouldn't mind those tall shoes.

I wouldn't mind a hollowed out Encyclopedia Britannica or two to hide things in.

Okay, Daniel, do you have something to please Andy?

Oh, boys.

Happy birthday, Andy.

Oh, it's a boy.

And thank you, the spirit.

In my kitchen, in the top cupboard, I've got all my wine glasses and I've got some champagne glasses there as well.

And the champagne glass fits perfectly between the bottom of the shelf and the top.

There's probably about a millimeter gap at the top.

Not even enough for dust to get in.

Yeah, you got it.

Small the dust.

I love it, Daniel.

Really pleasing.

Is Is that two closes?

Yeah, is it difficult to take?

That's like a Tetra slot in.

You do have to go very slow, otherwise you will have a broken glass.

Oh, no, that is.

That's the price you pay for an almost sealed-in glass.

And I imagine...

Can you just answer me this, Daniel?

Do you have the right amount of glasses?

So, you know, say if it's three deep, three deep, three deep, or four deep, four deep.

So it's, you know, you've got at least full lines.

It's perfectly three by two.

Yeah, nice.

Thank you, Ken.

And he doesn't want a lone song.

Flap him.

That's super pleasing, Daniel.

What would you do in that scenario?

And if you broke one, I get another one.

Or I try to work in a different formation.

I have the five flats somewhere.

I have before put away spares in a different spare cupboard

so they can become equal.

So they're allowed to be unequal in that cupboard.

Yeah.

Often still boxed.

Okay.

Oh my God.

How do you get anything done?

Very

just, but just with all this cataloguing and organizing.

Every time I need a battery at home, I always think Andy would know exactly where his batteries were in this scenario.

And that's the only time I feel that I should do what you do.

But all the other days of the year, I just laughed at how silly it is.

I needed a button battery, Jack,

like for a thing on my bike.

And of course, I couldn't couldn't find one.

I'm like, I assume there's one floating around somewhere.

I went, okay, well, fair play.

Andy would know if he had a button battery or not, because they're all different sizes and codes.

So I went, you know what?

This will never happen to me again.

And I bought five button batteries at the supermarket and dispersed them around.

It's not the same as Andy's system.

I know.

This is my system.

One in the pantry, one in the garage, one's in my bedside drawer.

And it's been a year now.

This battery, you don't need to replace that much.

So I'm finding batteries all the time going,

I'm going, damn Andy for making me adopt this many battery strategies.

What was the disbursement strategy?

Because then you know where to look for a battery.

I don't know where they are.

I don't know where they are.

So now he's got many batteries.

He's got so many.

I can't help but come across.

Because the way my brain works is where would I store batteries?

I don't have a spot.

I have to hypnotize myself almost and try and remember where would I hide batteries if if I was Hamish and I am him and now he's giving himself five times the chances of finding it next time that's exactly right Jack

10,866 tickets in a lottery

Lara ahoy to you Lara ahoy boys and happy birthday Andy

good on you Lara what would what have you got to please or pleasure Andy

So for a few weeks, my grandpa was driving his car more than normal and we couldn't work out why.

And then he went to take it for its service and he very proudly showed us that his odometer was one two three four five six as we drove into the mechanics really like it yeah that's really special so he was driving to get the miles up yeah just because yeah yeah to pull in on that last kilometer like he had to time it to the k yeah yeah i'd get a tote if i stuffed it up i'd get a tow truck just that last little bit just like

someone's reversing from two kilometers away to try and get into the mechanics lara thank you I appreciate him.

Amraj, ahoy to you.

Ahoy, congrats on the SP Hamish and congrats on the BD.

Andy, birthday.

I thought BD was big.

And I was like, well,

congrats us both.

One has to be superior.

No, beautifully done, Amraj.

Thank you, sir.

What have you got to please Andy on this BDW?

Yes.

So I'm the very proud owner of a garden tap, a hose, and a gun style, not gun, pressure trigger to water my garden.

Yeah, I've got the same.

Have you got a twist nodule at the end of it so you can go through different sprays, mists?

Yes, of course, of course, yeah, yep.

Must be nice.

It is.

Sometimes I put my common men on and I water my own garden and my lawn and that.

And whenever I'm done, of course I let go of the trigger to stop the hose, the water flow, and then turn the tap off at the wall.

But here's the key step.

I always

squeeze the trigger that little bit more just to release the pressure.

Oh, yes.

So turn the tap off at the wall, but you know there's pressure in the hose still.

That could still

be putting stress on the system or the spring, Ando.

That's where

wear and tear.

Amraj, I love it for you.

I wouldn't do it myself.

And I'd be happy to leave it happy to leave it loaded.

Yeah.

One in the chamber.

Yeah.

Sometimes I know this is, it goes against things, but sometimes I don't even turn off the tap.

No, I didn't know you did.

I have never turned my tab off at the tap.

And quite often I will be walking out the door and see it's exploded through the night because I have it on football all the time.

Yeah, and I'll see that the pistol shot off because it should have been replaced many times ago and I've just squashed it back on.

Yeah, yeah.

So that's your issue.

I'm confident that I've got a well-kept pistol at the end, so I'm not going to do that.

But that's very nice.

Amrush, thank you.

Even just this small chat about mists and jet propulsion has pleased me.

What's your favourite setting?

Okay, guys, stay there, Amraj.

Just because I think you guys are pretty similar for people that like

the pistol attachment.

Have a think about this.

Because on the can of three.

Well, Hang on, what are we doing?

I'm going to say to you what your favourite setting is.

Yeah, but what are we doing?

What are you doing?

Like so much.

It's the task with the hose.

What are we doing?

Okay, mate.

Relax.

You're watering roses.

Oh, spray.

No, no, no, this is the way he's really game.

You have, um, all right, you're watering, you're at the edge of your garden,

you're watering some natives that are three meters away.

Okay, yep, on the count of three.

One, two, three.

Spray.

Sprickle shower.

Sprickle showers.

Same thing.

This is like a really underwhelming version of Family Feud or something, isn't it?

Where they've actually answered different and you go to Denya.

It was the same thing.

Same thing.

I'm not sitting down for that.

You reckon the shower will go three meters?

I thought you'd need the jet to get that distance.

Nah, the jet

way too powerful for that.

The spray will be fine.

You miss, you're not going to get anywhere near it.

Yeah, but you need that even distribution.

Yeah.

Sometimes I, I mean, again, this is a fast and loose thing, but I always have it on jet.

Idiot.

And

because I can't be bothered looking down and doing all the changing, so I just, I'll just wiggle it in the air as fast as I can.

Take some of the heat off.

Take the power out.

Thank you, Albert.

Emma, bring this home for us.

You've got a please.

Andy, do you, Emma?

Oh, do you?

Yes.

Hoi, boys, and happy birthday, Andy.

Thank you for having me.

How are you, Emma?

So I'm a pretty organized person.

So for the clothes I wear to work, I have a list of around 17 different outfits that include the top, the pants, the shoes, and the jumpers.

And then each day I pick what's next on the list and it makes my morning super efficient.

Oh, wow.

I reckon Andy's torn here because he loves that efficiency.

Yeah.

I don't think he does that, but I would love to be at Andy's house and find that list.

I would make my day to just see jeans, white shirt, dimmies and tinnies.

I'd be like, oh, boy, he's planning it.

He's planning it.

I, again,

I don't want to play genders here, but I think that'd be more helpful for females.

It seems like there's far more combos going on for Beck when I see her go about her.

You don't want to trickle shower on her parade.

Yeah, but because I

obviously wear the same jeans for two weeks or a short if it's hotter and then a white tea hat.

You don't need too much planning.

But boy, Emma.

I would love Beck to do this.

That would happen.

Just for winter and summer.

Nothing would please me more than if you should do it for her.

Do it for the next year.

Present her with a spreadsheet, maybe even including the wedding day.

I will plan the dress.

I'll do that and record it.

And you'll

know you've got so much on your mind.

I haven't set a date, but I thought I'd just get a jump on the wedding and I've got your dress.

Now, I've told you guys both before that I do mid-mornings on an AM station on Sunday.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

Yeah,

exactly.

Congrats.

Making the leap.

Not that early.

No, it's kind of on schedule.

Yeah, a mid-morning cuppa with Andy Lee of a Sunday.

And look, it's a slightly different vibe to the way we run the podcast.

But weirdly, occasionally on the mid-morning cuppa, our two worlds collide.

And obviously, as an open line for the show that people would follow

on a Sunday morning, Some people do call in and want to talk about the podcast.

Oh, that'll be confusing for your audience.

And it's a little bit confusing.

Sometimes I go with it.

Anyway, something came up on last Sunday's episode where I was like, okay, well, we have to raise this with you guys.

And anyway,

if you'll indulge me, I'll play a little bit of the mid-morning cuppa.

I'll obviously like to keep them separate.

But what station?

Good question.

It's one of those national ones.

Yeah.

No, don't get out there.

Mid-morning cupper with Andy Lee.

Thanks to Pac-Man's funeral insurance.

One last gift for those you're leaving behind.

Mid-morning cupper.

Yes, it's the mid-morning cupper with Andy Lee.

I'll be with you all the way through till noon, of course, thanks to Pac-Man's funeral insurance.

One last gift.

for those you're leaving.

My auntie actually used them just a couple of months back and was very pleased with the results.

Anyway, beautiful day outside.

I hope you're having a nice time, whether you may be, whether it's walking the dog, a bit of gardening, or perhaps you got yourself a cuppa and you're tucking yourself into a crossword.

Anyway, I'm here to give you company as usual and the open line.

is where we want to hear your thoughts on any topic whatsoever.

Ashley has called in.

Ashley, the open line is yours.

Are you there, Ashley?

I am.

Hello.

Hello.

What's on your mind today?

I was just thinking, I've been doing a bit of a re-listen of the podcast and I was listening back and I've heard Hamish a couple of times fail to deliver on his big guest and I know episode 300 is coming up soon and I'm kind of nervous he's going to fail to deliver again.

Yes, so wind this back for me, Ashley.

I know Hamish is...

obviously made big promises before and continues to let everybody down.

But

yeah, so he promised a big guest in episode 100 yes and then again that got delayed to episode 200 didn't it it did it did and then what was you've obviously just refreshed yourself what what did he say around episode 200 so just after episode 200 because he obviously forgot he said he would deliver it on episode 300 which would be halfway through 2025 so it's coming up very soon but obviously he's failed to deliver a couple of times before so we're all nervous waiting to see what's going to happen my producer here at the mid morning cuppa has just done some great work and has got the grab for us this is show 201

where he's reminded that he um should have produced a big guest uh in episode 200.

here we are at 201

who lost the guest then

the special guest yeah uh well i did well i don't want to bother because he could come up for episode 300.

yeah he could send me a text

down the the road.

Send me a text going, yeah, could do 300.

So it's that halfway through 2025.

We look forward to that.

Another Hundo Epps.

How did it make you feel, Ashley, when he doesn't come through with these type of promises?

You know, it's really upsetting because we, like, we all love the show.

We love Pogmish and we want to see him deliver.

Yeah.

Yeah,

everyone wants him to succeed, but it just gets the feeling is that he doesn't care for the listeners.

Um, and would you say it's disrespectful?

I don't want to put that in your mouth.

No, I think that's fair to say.

Yeah, same.

Uh, Alex, thanks for Ashley.

Alex has also joined us on the open line.

He wants to share something on this topic as well.

Alex, are you there?

Yeah, how are you, mate?

Yeah, very well, and welcome to the uh mid-morning cuppa.

Um, yeah, thanks.

So, you heard Ashley speaking of this incident with Hamish and as um episode 300 approaches.

Are you also nervous about what might happen?

Yeah, mate.

i mean it's it's it's been a pretty long emotional roller coaster when you think about it and there kind of is a recurring theme here of yeah just being let down yep you know like i'm stressed i can't eat yep like i just like you you think you know someone

um and then i like i can't help but wonder like

do you realize that it makes me feel like i'm i'm dumb yeah trusting him yeah Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of us that have continuing trust issues.

Can we expect anything different when we get closer to episode 300?

I don't think so, mate.

I don't even know if I want a special guest anymore.

No, no, I can understand that.

If Hamish was listening right now, would you have anything to say to him?

Just

he knows what he's doing.

He has to.

Just sort it out, Hane.

Like, what are you doing?

Thanks, Alex.

Really appreciate it.

Thanks, Hamish.

Keep your open line calls coming in.

What do we do with our pets on the weekend?

That's the topic I've got coming up just after this short break.

Tight, tight stuff.

Oh, no, no.

Play the pet stuff.

We'll start you to come back to live.

So

still a few episodes out, Ham.

Obviously, there's been...

Hang on, let's just rewind for a sec.

Sorry, did that last guy say he doesn't want one?

I think that's what he said.

He basically just said, it's got to stage where I don't want one.

He's not sure, but actually.

Well, unfortunately, I'm sitting here with the laptop open and I've fired off an email

to cancel.

He said, I don't want one now.

So you've cancelled.

He's like Ham thinking, well, I can try and undo that.

Well, will you have guessing?

No.

Well, I worry that now that I've cancelled.

Will you have a guest?

That's going to add time.

Because

this big guest who was a...

He was a he,

he, what's what field?

Entertainment.

Yeah.

And that, and I encourage you to

think very broadly when I say the word entertainment

because think about the kind of things you might find entertaining.

Yeah.

So it might, and I just, because I don't want to spoil the surprise before I do it.

In this definition,

a very, very, very famous surgeon could be entertaining because we're entertained by his stories of the

make it very clear for everyone now.

I'm not going to.

Can we expect a guest in episode 300?

With the recent cancelling email,

that's gonna be that's gonna present problems

i do you want to make best endeavors you want to kick it to episode 400 what's the last episode of this year it'd be 320.

oh it could be tight

i think kicking it to 400 makes a bit of a mockery of it yeah so i think 350 350 350

i think 350 is about right yeah and then and it's only been five years

350 is about right.

At first, I didn't know what you were talking about.

Then I'm, oh, yeah, no, I think he's still locked in for 300.

Then I sent the email.

Now I'll have to undo that.

I think 350, if I can, yes.

And again, it's not kicking a can.

It's simply.

Getting to where you thought the can was and realizing there's a better spot for the can.

And it's not here.

It's further down the road.

It's like going to the bank and they go, what would you like to do today?

Pay off the mortgage or remortgage.

I'm going to go remortgage again.

We thought you were going to pay it off.

No, that's your fault for assuming.

I've decided to re-re-mortgage.

No, 350.

Let me get to the email.

Dear X,

excuse the previous email.

Thanks for listening.

The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

Catch up or contribute at Hamishandandi.com.

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