2025 Ep 286 - A Solution To Save Special Skills

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One.

Ahoy to me, Monica Hamish.

Chandler?

are we friends characters?

Yeah, I want to be Rachel.

I mean, come on,

that is

that's weak sauce.

That's what I worried about.

That's a one-by-one, Sudoku.

That is not harsh.

I warned you, Liz.

I warned you.

The biggest entertainment franchise in television history.

Yeah.

I mean, even starting with Joey, I think we could have got there.

And that's probably the most likely to have a few other options.

Starting with a Rossa Rachel.

Yes, exactly.

What's the name of what do we call some babies, babies of Australian animals?

But anyway, yeah, that's all right.

She was due a miss, and that is it.

That was it.

Yeah, and the thing was, I warned her.

I just, yeah.

And then you got to, at some point, you've got to let someone go out and play a movie.

What a good manager, Ed.

He's going.

The person that did the work has failed and he's gone, yep, that's obviously I don't want to start a pile on.

But I, I warned her.

Oh, I'm saying.

And the last last thing she wants to hear is me getting off the hook.

But I'm old.

True, in a sporting press conference, coaches or managers will usually say, Yeah, we've, we've got, as a team, we've got a lot of work.

Like, I told the players not to do that, nobody wants to.

I don't know why he kept doing that because I was very clear.

Go and read my lips if you want the halftime huddle.

I was so clear, so clear.

I don't know why he did that.

If the coach says, Don't miss the goal, which they would,

there are easier ways to kick the goal.

Yeah, Yeah, that was kind of the way that I approached the conversation.

But

do you back her?

I've got my doubts now.

So the trade for an open trade period is coming up and you're not officially nominating her for a trade, but...

You know, you know who would be celebrating?

Mike, Mike.

Yeah.

Radio Mike.

Yeah.

So I feel I was going to bounce back.

Anyway, ahoy also to Ali Morris, who went to HamishNowdy.com to let us know what she's been up to.

Heyday lads, Ali from Canberra here.

Today is my wedding day, so I'm calling to self-report.

I could not be less in touch with the common man.

People are catering to my every whim.

I'm wearing a custom-made ball gown and not only did we fork out for thousands of flowers but they're actually hanging from the ceiling in the reception hall so I actually may never be in touch again.

Also my fiancé's first two initials are SP, so I get a little laugh every time he gets any formal mail but he doesn't understand why.

I know you guys will get it.

Well I gotta go.

Be out of the way.

The eye.

The eye.

Congrats.

Oh,

it cools a cucumber bride there.

Yeah.

Well, you've got to understand that when she started uploading that to the website, it was probably sometime in the late 1800s.

So no, the website's very quick.

Back then, weddings, you know, they would go for days.

You just didn't get, there's no social media, so you didn't have to worry about everyone judging your wedding and it was fine.

That's why she's so relaxed.

Haynes, you wanted to top the show?

It's probably come to everyone's attention that there's something we haven't had any of this year.

Oh, yeah.

No special skills yet this year.

When was our last special skill?

Can you guys remember what our last special skill was?

I think it was the guy that could measure things.

The metal.

Measure the metal.

And he couldn't.

And he really couldn't.

Yeah.

I'm going to start the question is, when's the last special skill that was successful?

Well, Jack, you raise a good point.

He was so unsuccessful that we gave him an option to plug his business or not.

He said, no, I don't

want to be associated.

That wasn't me associated with his business.

I'll get in trouble if they find out that I've mentioned them in the same context as me.

Yeah.

This is the thing.

We've been doing special skills on this show for probably a good five or six years, maybe more, maybe seven years.

And we've had some incredible highs.

But I think 2025 has to be a time of honesty and a time of just calling spades.

Spades.

And

I look at the frequency of success of the special skills.

And you do have to admit that, sort of from about last year, they became less frequent and less successful.

Now, I'm not saying on a different day, the guy that could throw the KFC into the bin wouldn't have hit the bin every time, and we would just have a different feeling about it.

We had a lot of bin misses, we had a lot of stuff that wasn't being measured.

Are you saying that you reckon that segment

can't withstand another failure?

Like,

I'm saying that I think as the custodians of the show, we must be honest and say we stand at a fork in the road where someone needs to step up and hashtag save special skills.

Yes, you're right.

So right.

Now, someone needs to do it because I look at the entries that are coming in.

And they're okay.

But unfortunately, the pressure is built so much.

They need to be better than okay.

Like someone writing and going, well, my mate can speak backwards.

I go, okay.

Okay.

We need, that's awesome.

Yeah.

But we need bigger.

Can I give you an example of one that Dit shouldn't have written in?

This is Jared with one R.

He writes, I have a friend who is eating an entire roast chicken in one go every single day of 2025.

But

silly wrote.

Oh, that's that is tough for us to witness.

But also, how do you think?

I kind of do want to see that.

Well, I just want a special skill.

My point is, is that a special skill?

That's a special mission.

Yeah.

That's a special quest.

It's an endurance challenge.

And he's on it by himself, and we wish him the best.

It's certainly possible.

I mean, monotony is the thing you're fighting there rather than any kind of human limit.

And do you find that chicken is the only food that you get?

You choke on it if you have too much.

But he's not trying to eat it in 10 minutes.

He's got a day.

He's got a day.

You'll have some for lunch.

He's just going to trade his handbag.

He's taking around all day.

He's eaten entire entire roast chicken in one go.

Well, that doesn't really mean anything because one go really means one bite.

He's not a crocodile.

He's not doing that.

Yeah, that's fair.

So I guess what he means is, yeah, maybe he doesn't.

He's eating.

Maybe he just doesn't eat all day.

Like he's doing intermittent fasting and then sits down at night and eats a chicken.

This guy's probably like jacked, to be honest.

Gold coheny looks like Wolverine.

But again, I'm only interested in witnessing that.

to

answer the questions that we've all got now, which is like, well, how much of the chicken is he eating?

Is Is he eating all of them?

Like, if we went through and we found a little bit of flesh left, like, would we be sticklers and go, well, you haven't eaten the whole chicken here, you've lost a bit of the thigh.

And we want to see, we'd really just be watching a man eat a chicken, which is possible.

Yeah.

And then also we've got to go, all right, it's March.

We just assume you'll do this for the rest of the year.

Good luck.

Yeah.

Like if someone's doing, I don't know, 50 push-ups a day.

for a year, I'm sure that's awesome.

But if we just watch them do 50 and they said, and I'm doing that every day,

like that's the bit that's impressive, but it's not the bit we saw.

Yes, yes, good point.

Okay, so that's where I'm at.

I'm kind of looking at this stuff going, these are, these are things.

And I don't want to discourage people from stepping up.

In fact, I want the opposite.

I want to inspire people to go, okay.

Okay.

I've heard the show.

I'm a fan of the show.

I know what's possible with special skills.

Think.

throwing an orange very, very close to the roof, but never touching.

Now, that was a fail, but if that had come off.

If that had

it just would have been huge.

The guy that built Flatpak with no instructions, that was a win, and that was incredible.

Okay,

seeing the size of someone's shoe just from them walking past.

That, again, that's really in the ballpark, but we haven't had that level of mutant come on the show for a while.

And I do think we are at a point.

Let me throw a couple more at you then.

Yep.

Okay, this is from Dean.

He's got a friend called Jed,

who he says, is born with the built-in Shazam.

He knows he knows some songs.

He knows any song that we would sing it in,

give him less than 10 seconds.

We can sing it.

Give him less than 10 seconds, and he'll reliably tell you exactly the song and the band.

Warmer.

Warmer.

But I think I speak for the people when we go, we need to have our socks blown off.

Like, we need to, okay.

And look at, and Ando, you know what?

Maybe it is.

Here's one idea i had maybe it is a festival a skill a special skill festival working title who wants to be a skillionnaire doesn't have to do that but some sort of festival we're like okay we're really turning the heat up now who's going to save it who's going to step up and save it and they

almost like we do an episode where we get the top five entries from from like the next couple of weeks.

It's like Australian Idol auditions where you go around the country and you see what's out there before you put them on stage.

Like we really re just shake the tree a bit more

and see what falls out.

And I think hang on.

Here's an idea on the fly.

What if they got together, the people with the special skills, we could even, we could dish out for five flights.

People come in, they have a meeting amongst themselves and they elect who amongst them they think is the king.

Why don't they do it over the phone?

Like the people, people, have you seen conclave?

Yeah.

So that's, that's it.

So it's like we put them in a special skill conclave and then they come out and they're like we've all had a talk about it yeah we think kelly

she's she's got the best one she is the chosen one she will save the segment she will save special skills and reinvigorate it for 2025.

i like this so great because it's based off an oscar nominated film

That makes more sense to me than holding a festival because the festival sounds like we have to go.

You water it down.

Yeah, then you're getting a water ass.

No, no, I think we pick the best, the top five.

Why don't we let them sort it out?

I know we love work, but why don't we get Carly and Lies to pick what they think are the best five?

So then we don't even know.

We don't even know.

And then we just, because I'd be worried if we knew, and this person comes out and throws an orange close to the roof, it doesn't get it.

We're going, oh, what was second?

Yeah, like you'd be yearning for, we should have gone with, you know, the guy that can recognize a V8 when it drives past with blindfolded or whatever.

Like,

so

I think not knowing them all and and just then someone coming out and saying, This is what I do.

We trust us.

I've been chosen from a conclave of other skill holders.

If we record their discussion.

Full disclosure: I watched Conclave on the weekend.

That is why.

Man, I actually wasn't thinking the Conclave idea when I first brought this up, but now my brain won't let it go.

So if you haven't seen it, that's how they select popes.

Yeah.

So when they need a new pope, all the archbishops get together and they're locked away.

i know they they black smoke if they haven't agreed that's right so everyone votes and they burn the votes um in a little fire or this is what's happened for thousands of years or whatever and it's black smoke if no one can get the majority and then white smoke when they've all chosen who's going to be the new pope so what about what about if we can do the smoke if we want i think we should be cool

the gist is no one knows what's going on in the conclave what about if jack's in there just to record a few bits so we know what we can listen to yeah i mean we don't have to do strict pope rules we can have a reporter we can have a a reporter in the conclusion.

And then that person comes out.

And are they doing it right then and there for us?

I think so.

And are they performing their skill to the rest of the group or are they just talking about what they can do?

I think it should just be talking.

Yeah, agreed.

I just thought, do you need to really fly five sets of people out then to do

the talk?

We will.

This is your money.

It's your show.

We'll need you to chip in for this chat.

Do you think you could chip in for this, Jack?

Because this is not cheap.

I'm not chipping in.

I'm already doing extra work by being the reporter in there.

Would you chip in?

200 bucks.

200 bucks will you chip in, Jack?

Come on.

It's to get the top five stars.

There's money allocated for that.

So

no, there's not.

We have no budget breathing.

It's our money.

Will you just chip in 200?

$100.

No, no, no, no.

50 bucks.

No.

No, it sets a bad precedent.

Great.

All right.

Will you bring in

a slab of any drink?

Special skills conclave edition.

Who's going to say special skills?

Who will say that?

If you think you're the highest skilled, if you think you've got an amazing skill you've been sitting on or someone's been sitting on, now is the time because we need someone.

I'm all of you be nervous.

Don't worry.

You won't get in here.

You'll be part of the conclave and then you hopefully get the confidence out of the others selecting you.

It's a confidence clave.

We want people to come in.

We want people to come in.

Like, let's say you are the guy that can throw KFC into the bucket from any distance.

And let's say that that did come off.

That's exactly who we want in there going, guys, seriously, I know I'll impress Hamish and Andy.

I know this will get their attention.

Pick me.

I am the chosen one.

Be the chosen one to save to save this.

And then if that works and it's the and special skills is reinvigorated, we're back for another seven years.

Quickly, just how we need a chosen one.

With the smoke and

how is it majority or is it unanimous?

I think,

forget this bit of the movie.

I think it's about 70%, 75%.

Sounds like you're making it up.

No, it's not.

It doesn't have to be unanimous, but it has to be quite a high percentage.

I have.

I actually have.

I bought, last year in the black friday cyber sales i bought a very very good smoke machine i'll bring it in

i can't believe we haven't done a conquove before

last week um we put to jack

to just

i suppose appease the good karma gods of the people show and to be look to be honest to still be labeled as the people show the gods of luck needed something, needed an offering, a sacrifice from Jack.

He'd been a very fortunate boy with his weaseling at first and then his victory over the people in the golf buggy saga.

And fair play,

the rules were the rules.

It was fair play.

It was a 50-50 fair play.

The rules were the rules.

Yeah, it wasn't fair play.

It was play, but it was, it was stacked in your favor.

But everyone agreed to that game.

Yeah, everyone agreed to that game and the game played out.

And then you, by chance by by probable chance were the winner and that's fine but to recognize the good fortune that you enjoyed from the gods of luck i think there was a side of the equation people that hope it were hoping to have a bit better of a chance to win that um golf buggy they felt that maybe there's an imbalance in the universe.

Sometimes to please the gods and to bring balance back to the universe, a sacrifice would be made, a tribute would be made to the gods of some significance.

Not often did they go, well,

this old stick doesn't make any

gods can have that.

And that's what you tried to do at first.

Give the gods half a banana or something because I'm full anyway.

So we're going to have a week to think about what you might want to do as a giveaway.

Because we did promise the people our giveaway and they're yearning for one.

2,886 people that applied for one.

We need to bring order back to this, Jack.

So it's the same people who are in the golf buggy pool can win this next thing, even though it could be not not golf-related at all.

Okay, have you made a decision?

I have made a decision.

It's a big sacrifice, so I think the gods will be happy.

At least in size.

It's not for mortals to say how the gods feel.

Let's hope.

All right.

I'm sending you a picture

of

my piano.

Oh, wow.

That is good.

That's a good idea.

That's a big, It's an upright piano.

Upright

piano.

Why?

Okay, I think it's for the gods.

For the gods.

Why what?

If you say the why word in the next 20 episodes, you shall be struck down by the gods.

What word?

You know the word I mean.

I don't know what word you mean.

They make slow guitars.

No, I'm not trying to get it.

Wow.

If this is you trying to get rid of your piano,

because that's what this feels like to me.

Wow.

I didn't even put two and two together that Yamaha made great pianos.

That's not why.

Why?

Why?

That is a god.

Do not bring a weasel to the altar of the gods.

This is a sacred place.

That's a pretty awesome, like, old, upright piano.

And I just wonder why you're

why are you giving it, Jack?

Generous to the people.

Why are you giving it?

Does it work?

It does work.

Do you have a replacement on its way?

No, I don't.

Do you have an idea for a replacement?

This is my only piano.

And there's something.

It's just, it is just a really generous thing that I want to give away.

Okay.

Ando.

We've got to take it on face value.

Look at him.

Something's up.

Something's up.

Something's up.

It's actually, I'll say this.

It is a real piano.

It works.

It's in tune.

Wow.

Do you want it?

Of course not.

That's hard.

I don't want it anymore.

And it's very hard to get rid of.

It's extremely hard.

It weighs a ton.

And now we hear the truth.

Well.

All right, Jack, you have to get it to the person.

No, no, no.

That's the thing because I actually acquired it.

Is this winner going to pick it up?

I acquired the piano for free without knowing that it would cost $200 to get it delivered, then another $200 after it's delivered to get it retuned.

You must get it.

So

I've already paid the incoming fee.

I feel like...

Jack, think about your answer to this.

Will you get the

piano to the winner of the piano, given how fortunate you've been and how much the gods have smiled upon me?

Yeah, but what if they lived in like Perth?

That might be the new risk you have to take.

Now we have a real sacrifice on our hands, don't we?

This is the mood the gods wanted.

A reluctant giver.

Okay.

Jack,

will you commit to that?

Okay, so when you pick them out of a raffle, does it say where they are?

Or do we have to call them?

No, we'll call them.

And then we'll ask them where do you live?

If they live overseas, who knows what it would...

How would you even get a piano overseas?

Well, it waves a time.

Me and my brother tried to push it across the floor and it created a scratch along the floor just because it's so heavy that the wheels, on wheels, it created a scratch in the floor.

All I'm saying, Jack, is you committed to that.

There are some internationals in there.

It's far more Australians.

How does it feel to have the odds now not in your favor?

All right.

I will get the piano to whoever wins it.

Now, that is a beautiful gesture, that's a beautiful jest.

All right.

What about this?

I'll give Jack, since he's come to the party there, that's a very, that's the kind of sacrifice we're after that is generous boy behavior

we'll you zip it jack you're not allowed to say anything when this we select the person we say to them you haven't obviously you know you haven't won the buggy but jack is willing to give the person that would have won the buggy which is whoever we pick out here a piano his piano he's going to get it to you do you accept If they say, I don't want a piano, Jack, you're off the hook.

You've paid your debt.

Okay.

He's probably a bit disappointed.

He wants to get rid of that thing.

But

That's the thing.

A lot of people might not want or even have space for a big upright piano.

Let's try someone.

It's your fault for picking something that's so specific.

We'll call someone now.

So I'm going to pick, well, the computer random generator online is going to pick a number between 1 and 10,886.

I'll then give you the number, Jack.

Okay.

We'll call them and find out where they're from.

and then whether they want a piano.

And if they don't, then there's no more sacrificing to the gods.

The gods are happy.

Everyone's

happy.

We couldn't light the witch.

She just wouldn't go.

Let's all go home.

But the gods appreciated out there, Stephens.

All right.

6,808

is the number.

Who's the person?

I now go to the corresponding person.

Jeez, in the 6,000.

It's a big, it's a Excel spreadsheet.

I'm zooming through here.

Who is it, Andy?

Matthew Campbell.

Okay.

It's

an Australian phone number.

Okay, that's a good start.

I'm passing Jack the number now.

Jack, you got that?

I've got that.

Here we go.

Matthew.

Just to be clear, Jack, if he doesn't pick up, your debt to the gods has not been paid.

Okay.

We must talk to a human before the debt has been paid.

Hello, Matthew.

Matthew Campbell.

It's Hey, Mr.

Andy here.

Hello, Matt.

How are you going, guys?

Yeah, good.

Now we're good.

Yes.

Quickly, you did register to win the motorized golf trolley.

Yes, yeah, I did.

Before we heard what happened, I did hear what happened.

Yeah.

It must be nice.

When we thought it was going to drop red, did you think it was going to drop red?

Oh, look, I was really hoping for it.

So was everyone.

I know.

When I heard all the yelling and the scream, I thought, oh, I don't think he's got it.

I think it's Homie Shenany.

And then, no, it was Jack.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm really excited.

Matt, this will become clear in a moment as well.

We're asking this, but where do you live?

What area?

I live in Tasmania.

Oh, no.

The worst one.

The worst one besides overseas.

Awesome.

Now,

Matt, so we're in the middle of something here where...

Yes.

Just reflecting back on Jack's antics as he beat the people for the prize.

Yeah.

And we we are the people show.

It just feels like there's an imbalance in the universe.

And he needs to make some gesture to the listeners of the show to recognize his great fortune here in this weaseling incident.

So we said to Jack, you must go to your house and pick something of high value that you don't want to lose that you must give to the listeners.

And we're going to randomly select

out of the 10,800 and something people, we're going to randomly select a number and they get the thing that Jack has selected.

You would have won the trolley, you would have won the golf buggy.

That's the

heartbreaker.

But instead, me, yes, you would have

the number randomly selected.

Oh, it does hurt more.

Why are you telling me that?

Well, yeah, sorry.

Hopefully, there's a silver lining to this.

Because instead, Jack from his house has offered the person who would have won the golf trolley being you

an upright piano.

An upright piano,

yeah.

Oh, look,

I'll accept, but

you will accept, you accept?

I mean, I'd be crazy not to.

I mean, we've got to take something off the wheels, wouldn't we?

Does anyone in your family play piano, Matt?

Ah, look, me and the kids do have a little bit of a play every now and again.

It is good fun.

Oh, mate.

Well, great news.

You've got yourself a brand new

to your house and a brand new piano.

And Jack, of course will get it to you he will ship it to you that was the deal he was that's why he was devastated that you do you reckon do you reckon jack was keen to pay for shipping or thought that you might have to as the recipient no he's not going to ask me but i felt like that was going to come after no no he's not going to ask every who he but if you are doing a trip to the mainland in a big van swing by

in a big van don't have any big fan trips coming up to melbourne do you not no not

any time

sorry badie congratulations uh the winner of a secondhand piano that is beautiful and uh thanks very much guys and we will we'll make it down

Jack gets it to you how how old are your kids Matt seven and five actually a great time to start piano

they absolutely love it oh yeah I'm actually I'm actually happy it's got a great new home I'm happy for you Matt yeah wait till you see the quote from DHL

oh man thank you so much

they will be absolutely wrapped thanks Matt appreciate it buddy

That feels good.

Doesn't it?

It's a weird, strange feeling that I've not felt a lot.

It feels good.

The outflow.

The outflow of gear.

The outflow, not just the constant gush inwards.

Oh, watch your step.

Wow, your attic is so dark.

Dark.

I know, right?

It's the perfect place to stream horror movies.

Flame.

What movie is that?

I haven't pressed play yet.

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Hey, White Lotus.

Obviously, a lot of people just talk about it, but we won't do any spoilers because people are still catching up on the White Lotus.

but it's just finished season three.

Bit of an outcry

because they changed the theme song.

Yeah,

big outcry in our house because our kids, whilst they obviously don't watch White Lotus, they got quite good at doing the song.

Yes.

Which is

like we would sing it around the house.

And if you don't want Ames version, this is actually.

No, I don't think you'll need it.

I don't think you'll need it.

That's me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So outrage that

they moved away from that for the opening title of season three, although they do bring it back during the season.

That's not a spoiler alert.

It does come in as a theme.

So obviously they do love it still.

They're tinkering with...

I mean, I agree.

I don't know why you'd...

Why would you move away from it?

I think.

You can, you know, change the setting, change everything.

But, you know, Survivor's still got the same theme song, 48 seasons in or whatever.

Huge backlash on social media as well.

But I think I might know why they've changed it.

Do I smell a sleuth going?

I'm onto them.

This sounds like this, sounds like this, sounds like this.

If this sounds like that, I'm your man.

Andy Lee, song sleuth.

This came on my desk cam.

Obviously, I'll remind everybody we don't want Haim to have to do his.

Oh, that was very good, actually.

Do it one time.

Appreciate that.

I can't can't do that.

I'm kids.

Can't.

We've got to post how Hamish looks when he does it.

I've never seen like

the time.

And then you try and go variant.

Anyway,

I've been doing a disservice to the song.

Okay, that's fair.

This is, of course, I just remind people.

Hamish did a very good reenactment of it there, but this is, of course, how it sounds.

The first one, Deck.

That's why I was shocked when someone sent in a song called Into the Unknown.

From Frozen.

Yeah.

From Frozen 2, actually.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well done, Ham.

From Frozen 2.

Don't you worry about that.

2019, Frozen 2.

Yeah.

Into the Unknown.

White Lotus 2021.

Probably about the time where they're thinking, let's get a theme song going.

This is the start of Into the Unknown.

Into the Unknown.

I mean, I could give you that one too.

Absolutely.

I mean, it changes up significantly from there, but I know what you mean.

Just that little thing.

Three tones is three, because it's like

let's have another listen to White Lotus.

I mean, they're only doing three tones.

So I took it to the lab.

Okay.

So cool.

Oh, yes.

I realized just me staring and thinking

can't be where we end with this.

Well, have a good think about it.

Yeah, I'm going to need four or five minutes of just quiet air.

Talk it to the lab.

This is the percussion from the white lotus,

then into frozen two,

into the unknown,

directly cut back into

white lotus.

I mean, they're two absolute big hitters.

I feel that

if the writer of The White Lotus has kids, Mike White.

Mike White?

No, no, the song, the music, the song.

Sorry, gotcha.

The song.

If the writer of the song has kids in an age bracket between three and nine, he's guilty.

Yeah.

Or she's guilty.

She's guilty.

If not,

I'm personally with you.

Yeah, because you wouldn't run in, you wouldn't run into into the unknown

if you didn't have kids.

The big problem is if you do have kids, you've run into it.

Not only have you run into it, but you've run into it on an industrial brainwashing level.

Yeah,

hundreds of times.

I would know every word.

Or hate that sudden to go into the

I can hear you, but I won't.

So I'm not to travel.

Others don't.

There's a thousand reasons.

I have you got two or three minutes because I'll do the whole thing

I assure you this is the final chapter of this saga it's um could have been a Peter out because we didn't quite get what we wanted no good on you for you you've stuck in there well Ando and you've you've hung in there well for this you've kept the air in just enough air in the lilo i think yep to make it still enjoyable to float on

just not not

so bouncy that immediately, as soon as you jump on Lala, you bounce off.

Like, I wouldn't say that Lala's been over-inflated on this idea, but not dissatisfyingly sinking.

So your whole back area is wet.

Some water is getting in.

That's why we have to wrap this up.

So in life, you get Peter outs.

Sometimes we get roadblocks.

And sometimes we get roadblocks behind the scenes and they turn into Peter outs.

This one we just decided to crack on.

It was Abby who told the story of her boyfriend when he was over in England at Derby County game.

They heard the song Steve Bloomers Watching, a very important song to that particular football club.

Steve Bloomer's watching,

helping the white,

guiding our heroes in the black hand of the lights.

They were convinced.

This is Abby's dad, who is from Britain, was convinced that that was an original.

He was shocked and did not believe.

And an incredible part of their cultural tapestry for the club.

He was shocked and did not believe the fact that the song was from Australia by a guy called Mike Brady put up there, Khazale.

So to shock Abby's dad as he is out in Australia to watch an AFL game, we requested of Collingwood Football Club, could you find a moment just to play a verse and chorus?

And Abby was like, we'll get Nick there two hours early.

Like it doesn't have to be just before the bounce.

And he'll realize that a whole crowd sings this song and it's not, in fact, Steve Bloomer's song.

No.

It's Khazale's.

It's Kazali's song.

And Australia won England-nil, game over.

No more repertage.

That's what we hoped for.

Unfortunately, Collingwood said no.

I was at the Carlton Western Bulldogs game last week, and they played up Khazali at three-quarter time.

And I was like, just one week too early.

And he done.

Dispelling the myth that it had to be Grand Final Day only that it gets played.

And so when Collingwood said no, when the team Collingwood comes and said, no, we're not going to do it, that's where the roadblock we talked about popped up.

And really more like road spikes that the police use.

You drove through it.

All four tires popped,

but Andy kept driving.

Yes.

Andy kept driving on rims to go, no, we're not going to leave it there.

Even though they've said that, you know, for this last weekend's match, they couldn't play it.

Andy, you decided to go along to the match where we hoped to have it played.

Some two hours early.

Got there two hours early to test the claim from the Collingwood Football Club that they, quote, don't have time in the schedule to play the song in the two hours leading up to the game.

It's too tightly programmed with other entertainment.

Couldn't possibly fit it in.

Couldn't possibly fit it in.

How long's the song?

It's going to be about three minutes, right?

All we ordered was a one minute.

We owned two minutes of it.

And funny, because, you know, we all have radio backgrounds and we've seen what's called a log in radio, which actually is like, this is what's coming up in the hour.

Every song, every ad, every little sound effect that gets played is programmed.

Yep.

Even radio is not that tightly programmed.

It wouldn't fit something in.

If needs be in a two-hour slot.

However, Collingwood stood by their claim that, yep, it was chockers.

So I went across and I got there early.

And this is my report on whether they could have, in fact, fit just one verse and chorus in of Up Bear Ghazale.

Time is

5.30, exactly two hours before

the game start.

DJ started, knew nothing song, probably could have opened with Up Bear Gazalie.

Proof already that I think there's windows.

It doesn't feel like this song is deliberately placed.

As you can hear in the background, just some random pop song, I don't even know what it is.

I wouldn't even say it's a banger.

Anyway, back home.

Wow, I am shocked.

It's

6.01, so it's 31 minutes in.

Just been straight music and not even considered.

I think a Spotify algorithm would have produced a better set list.

It's gone from Edge here in to Nickelback.

I mean, Nickelback was in there, so if there's ever a song to replace, that could have had a rest.

But no announcements, nothing that seems to line up with an activation.

What have we asked for 90 seconds and

now we're 31 minutes in with not a skerrick of deliberate programming?

I mean I've proved the point already but I'll still sit here and I'm a can in.

My mate Ross has arrived.

Would you agree though in the first hour there was a chance for a small window to play up there because Aelen?

It doesn't look like there's a shitload happening at present.

So yeah, probably.

6.18,

just got myself out of the can.

Nick Dacos, for people who don't understand football, is probably one of the best players in the league, just walked out onto the field.

Sense of embarrassment, I'm detecting, about how they've gone about pre-Gream and not allowing us to play a song.

for a big crowd just to prove to a whole British man that Abdir Kazali was the original Steve Blue was watching.

Right.

Next one.

Full disclosure, I've gone to the bar.

I don't know what's happened in the last 35 minutes, but proof is in the pudding that they could have easily fit it in.

I'm here with a Collingwood supporter.

How do you feel, do you think?

We could have snuck in up there, Kazaley at all.

They played nickel back.

Hello, this is Tyson O'Brien, International Touring DJ.

Travel the world hanging out with stars.

And whoever this guy is, the DJ Union will be hearing from me.

And you'll be answering to them.

Because it is an absolute disgrace.

My club has let the Listers and the world down and let me down and let Mike Brady down.

True.

And Tyson's just walked off and discussed it.

Hopefully he sticks around for the game.

He obviously has travelled a long way to be here for the game.

So yeah, that's about it.

I've proof this in the pudding and bad luck going this far.

Thanks for listening.

The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

Catch up or contribute at Hamishandandy.com.

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