2025 Ep 285 - Hamish’s inadvisable medical manoeuvre

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One.

Ahoy to be Knuckles.

Hey, Miss.

Hey.

I hope we're Sonic's mates, to be honest.

Could be Knuckles and Tails.

Tails.

Have I got it?

You got it.

He's got it.

He's got it straight off the bat.

Wow.

Yes, a hoarded Tails over there, Jack.

I'll be Sonic today.

Yes,

Knuckles.

I remember Tails was like a fox.

Yeah, Knuckles, just the other one.

Yeah, Echidna.

Oh, no, yeah, Knuckles was a bit of a

bit of spikes.

Yeah, Echidna.

Comes good.

Sonic's secondary best friend.

And former rival.

Yeah, that is Knuckles.

Former rival.

Comes good.

And Tails, obviously, a two-tailed fox cub.

Sonic's best friend and sidekick.

Bit of a cheat there for me.

I, you know, having a 10-year-old boy, I've got the edge.

I've got access to probably more of the Sonic universe than you would.

But you might be

into that with Gordia.

No, not Sonic.

Yeah.

No.

Do you have to watch the new movies?

Because Sonic has movies now.

Do you have to?

You do have to.

There's many of them.

There's many of them.

And most of the time.

Yeah, Jim Carrey's, he's odd.

He's Eggman.

Yeah.

and And he's the villain.

And most of the time, I watch Jim Carrey in it, who's got to be in his mid to late 50s.

And I just, I'm so impressed at the energy.

I just go, oh, my God.

Just your day.

I just know what it would take to get in the bloody, get in the

cap.

Yeah, he's got a silly moustache.

Just remember whenever you wore a fake moustache, the glue they use.

But I'm sure it's the best of the best.

It's Hollywood.

Yeah, but just a long day.

He did the Grinch.

Like, imagine getting into one must

dude have you heard this fact before that the he quit the grinch after one day jim carry he was like i can't do it i can't do the makeup like it was eight hours to become the grinch before you could even start acting

and ron howard i think who's the director got someone from the cia

who

trains their operatives in like how to go through like interrogation and torture tactics just how to calm his mind for eight hours and not let it get to him so he could like withstand getting put in makeup oh i thought you were going to say like the CIA trained to make the people doing the makeup go even faster.

I thought they were going to say the CIA bullied him into doing it.

This was like three ACI or so we can send you to Russia with a bunch of spy equipment on you.

And he just lets you do it.

You won't be going back.

Because it's what the CIA is well known for loving making sure the Christmas blockbusters get made.

Ahoy also to Alex who went to Havisham.com uploaded what he's been up to.

Ahoy boys, this is a Spot in the wild anecdote.

So I was lining up to board the plane from Gold Coast to Sydney after Christmas and I saw none other than Jack Post with his family.

I then called out and asked for a barrel of gold coin but in good nature he came up to me and told me to look through his Instagram story to show that he had just had a car incident on the way to the airport.

So he used this as an excuse as he said he was too tired.

Well done weaseling your way out of that one Jack.

Hope you had a crack a mandated brake off.

Yeah, that did happen.

Too tired to bow?

Yeah, I just wasn't in the mood.

Oh my god, you had a crash in the car?

No,

it wasn't a crash.

This was the petrol, wasn't it?

The petrol.

I had my whole, Bianca's whole extended family in the car, kids' seats and everything, rushing back to the airport.

The last thing you got to do is fill the hire car back up with petrol.

And I put unleaded in a diesel car, and I didn't realize until it was full to the brim.

And so it wouldn't start.

Well, you're not allowed to drive you don't

when I googled it it said whatever you do do not do not even turn the engine on.

Yeah, if you turned it over then it would you then it's like 15 grand for a new engine.

Yeah.

Oh, because I sucked it out.

Did you think about it?

Because you're so close.

We're over three minutes from the airport.

Are you thinking like there's a diesel?

There's a bit of diesel in the air.

I would have thought the same.

Is that getting fed in first?

It's like a Coke spider.

I won't touch the ice cream, but

if the car just drinks the Coke from the bottom.

Yeah, if I don't slosh around too much, turning corners, it shouldn't mix together.

Oh, yeah, that's the actual thing.

So then we, by the time we got to the airport, like, we're like at full speed trying to get bags in.

And then also I had the golf club, so I was causing even more chaos trying to go to oversized baggage when everyone else was done.

And it was, it was just, we just made it.

And then that guy, Alex, I do remember him.

And I said, no, Bouster.

Not today, mate.

I mean,

definitely sympathise with the story.

Was it a Hertz car?

Wouldn't have been a Hertz car.

It was not a Hertz car.

And that was the biggest mistake of that.

Me and the gang would have looked like you

could have called me if it was, and I would have sorted you out.

But

the effort of walking over to him and telling him this whole story and going through your Instagram.

I mean, just bend over, man.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

You have to pick up the golf clubs anyway.

It was more like in the mood.

I wasn't in the mood for a bow.

I wasn't in the mood.

Fair enough.

Fair enough.

I never rejected a bow based on mood.

I gave a very, very high altitude bow from a water park on the weekend.

Just not to blow my own horn about how many bows I'm doing.

But I mean, I climbed all the way up to the top of this

play area at a water park.

Someone yelled from the bottom, bow.

Water park is high mood.

But I'm very exhausted.

No, no, no.

Your mood would be well up at a water park.

That's something that's.

Maybe you're exhausted because there's a lot of hills because all the slides of gravity face.

So you have to do it with environment.

Okay, okay.

We better

be reporting Jack's mood to us.

Love Spotted in the Wilds.

We love it.

Haim, lots of people have been asking to play this because they know they have an advantage early in the year.

It's the game to play.

It is the game to play in, you know, your Marches, your Aprils.

Tell us someone we haven't thought of for a while.

Of course, it can't be someone we've thought of this year.

You, Haim, and I, when someone yells out a celebrity's name, we have to prove generally just by telling an Anderson honest decision system that we have thought of them.

Company send in hats.

Company send in hats, Ando, with the hope that their hat will be reflected in a positive light.

And then if you can name a celebrity we haven't thought of this year, you will win.

You get a selection of the hats.

Obviously, if you're up front, you have the advantage of getting first pick of the hats.

We have a special guest hat today.

Yes.

I won't, well, I'll probably save it to the end.

And I just want to flag up front that I'll be showing no favor.

nor no malice to any there will just be these are fair representations of the hats yes there are three hats special guest hat is at the end

first hat aston legal group yeah

well i said no malice

i might have to so sue me aston legal group no don't because that i'm sure that's what you do very well or defend those being sued i'm not sure which side of the coin you probably accept both contracts who knows what they're doing um look I'm sure you're bloody good at the law.

The hat, I mean, it's straight to the point.

The Aston is a yellow.

The legal group is a white so it's min minimum points there some points for branding like at least it's not all just one color

font when you see

yeah very very that's just that's that was the first font that came through and they ticked it off it's just a black hat i mean you just can't really get too hyped up about this hat you're pointing to the buckle there and i cycle back yeah buckles seem shallow buckles i have an issue with because i think they think they're better than they are you know what i mean the buckle hats you see them on like a rod and gun cap yeah

and they're go, Look,

and it just has it, it just has an air, it just has an air of going, Oh, you know, the thing that's normally on your pants, we're putting them on hats now.

And I go, You don't need them because we already had we had the plastic, we've got the velcro, we just don't need the buckle up there, you're not fooling anyone.

It's just a black hat, and it's not just as well.

It looks shallow, yeah, Jack.

And that's the thing: it's like for all the fanciness, you hurt your nail getting under the buckle.

Yes, second one,

yoke sunscreen, yeah, yoke sunscreen.

What colour is that, do you reckon, Jack?

A lot of

Dusky,

like a musky lavender.

Dirty, musky lavender.

It's a full corduroy.

Yeah, no malice.

Dirty, musky, lavender.

Yeah, it's full corduroy.

I mean, full corduroy.

And again, look, I'm going to say something that's a bit of a generalization here.

I think you've got to be under 27 to wear that hat.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Like it would go perfectly if you had a thin moustache and the kind of the, you know, the mohawk mullet kind of feel, power fade.

Yep.

That's who needs to be wearing this hat.

hat or if you're just like a cool beach gals surfer girl yep they could do it they've got a gone with a buckle though it surprised me for a surfing

okay maybe it's like an ironic formal hat yeah maybe it is jack maybe if you're if you're 27 or under you get the gag

um i'm not familiar with the icspf i'm assuming they have passed all the required laws to protect the icebreakers

and they do a good

job yes um but you know cool corduroy you give them props for an interesting material and to the right person a corduroy hat's something that would work.

But again,

I feel you're going to be a bit younger to wear a corduroy.

You would say expense, expensive, though.

Not scared to throw money at the hat, the solution.

And when you're an SBF company, that's nice to know.

Yep.

Yep.

And our special guest,

Demys and Tinnies.

Yes.

Dimmies and Tinnies, the Dim Sim company that Andy, full disclaimer, has a financial interest in.

Must be nice.

Must be nice.

Along with his brother-in-law's roof rack company.

Must be very nice.

Along with a pub in New york city must be nice is nice

that has uh the same and uh dimmies and dinnies

they make great dim sims they're available aren't you available in coles yes we've they've we've

proper dim sim proper dim sim company five years ago we thought wouldn't it be funny to make a premium dim sim top shelf dim sim dim sim where you know what's in it and they are actually now available in coles dnt's dimmis so if you want to go there obviously it'd be on the top shelf yeah well actually

DNT's, is that what it's called?

DNT's.

DNT's.

And that's why you didn't do Dimmies and beers.

No, no, no.

You have a soft drink as a Tinny.

Yeah, no, I'm just saying that otherwise it'd be DNB, Tinnies, DNB, beers.

And you'd be like, oh, what's in it?

No, I'm just saying that's why

DNTs.

DNT is much better.

Much better than DNBs.

So Dimmies and Dinnies.

And here is where I'm.

Exclusive to Coles, by the way.

Yep.

No, we've heard the app.

but you bought a hat, so you do get some promotion.

Yes.

You're allowed that on

it.

Here's the thing.

As I said, no favor, no malice.

It's the best hat.

It is.

The hat is good.

It's easily the best hat.

It's, you've got a cream.

I don't think it's white.

I think it's slightly off white.

And you've got a dark navy brim.

You've got the nice Demmys and Tinnies logo right up the front.

Snapback.

Snapback.

It's not showing off with a buckle.

It does.

It's got a good depth to it.

You're wearing it.

So it comes with a celebrity endorsement in that regard.

And I think it would be absolutely, I'd be bewildered if anyone doesn't go that first.

However, people have the choice.

People have the choice.

We've got Aston Legal, maybe you're a big legal fan.

Aston Legal Group, you've got Yoke SPF.

You've got Dimmies and Timmies on Ando's head.

Do they get a fresh one or do they get that one?

I couldn't find another one.

They get this one.

They get the one off your head.

Yeah, it's huge.

Well,

could be a plus.

Could be a minus.

We'll look into that.

Let's jump into it.

It's been a while since I've thought.

About Tim Cahill.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

And it's been a while since I've seen them.

Jack, you clearly have thought about Tim.

I heard Tim Cahill mentioned, and I'm trying to remember the

context.

No, Tim, Tim.

Yep, okay.

This year?

This year, where was he?

He was at...

He was at the Grand Prix.

He was at the Grand Prix.

Oh, that's where I saw him.

I went, I hadn't thought about him for a while.

Okay, well, don't pick someone that's been publicised at the Grand Prix.

I mean, it's a heavily attended sports event.

That's true.

But that was what came to mind when someone said

the open is starting.

We've got to think of someone.

You better think of people you don't think of, but.

No, no, it's hard because how do you know what you don't know?

All right.

Well, that's just a great example of, as a general rule, don't give us someone that was at the Grand Prix.

Okay, Sarah joins us.

Oh, are you, Sarah?

Hey, guys, how are you?

Great, Sarah.

Okay.

You ready for this?

Who have we not thought of in a while?

Guys, I was watching Love is Blind recently and someone on there just reminded me and I couldn't work out who it was and it came to me.

It's the one and only Fabio.

Oh,

unfortunately, I have thought of him.

Oh, Ham, I suppose it's the amount of times Andy has looked at the poster on the inside of his wardrobe is the amount of times he has thought of Fabio.

No, it...

was because we were leaving the Palais Theatre in Melbourne as the roller coaster was going around Luna Park.

Oh, and seagulls came flying very close to the roller coaster.

And Beck said to me, Oh my gosh, the roller coaster nearly saw that hit those flock of seagulls.

And

Fabio, the most beautiful man in the world, a male model at the time, was getting filmed on a roller coaster.

A seagull hit him in the face and broke his nose.

Really?

Yeah.

Unbelievable.

Accident.

Have you seen the footage?

Jack.

Is that recently?

Yeah, it's phenomenal.

No, no, no, it was about 15 years ago.

It was phenomenal at the time.

Yeah.

Wow.

Does this count?

I've just realized I have been thinking of Fabio, but I haven't known I was thinking of Fabio because there's a guy at the gym I go to and I've been going, who does that guy remind me of?

You know, quite long, flowing, beautiful blonde hair.

It's Fabio.

Well, so I have.

I'm glad I had my one to like.

That would have been probably a green light to a hat, but annoying for me, because if I'd just done my work a bit more, I would have thought of Fabio.

Sorry, Sarah.

Ahoy to you, Liam.

Ahoy, boys, and a quick happy birthday to to the weaver.

Don't actually celebrate them,

Liam.

Please keep the weaver up.

It's because I weave in and out of traffic during a hockey match, is it?

It sure is, Segourney.

Okay.

Liam, tell us someone we haven't thought of in a while.

Look, I'm going to go with singer and former American Idol judge, Paula Abdul.

Pretty good.

Pretty good.

I think what you're thinking, if you think you've thought of Arando, you haven't.

It's just that you see so many

of idol and talent from got you know america's got talent uk's got talent whatever floating around on social media we think i don't think i thought of her but i wouldn't have thought of her jack no no liam you've got yourself a hat my friend whoa well done liam brilliant

what hat are you going to go with aston legal the yoke spf how old are you by out of out of out of um by the way Look, I'm 29, so I'm a little bit old for the cord.

It's fringe.

It's fringe.

I was going to say 27 to 30, depending on how well you're transitioning out of your 20s.

But

if you've still got a real young vibe, I think you could get away with the corduroy hat.

Yeah.

Or Demis and Timmies.

Look, I've got to take the one off Andy's head.

Yeah, do it.

I'll remove it.

Reveal him to the sun.

Very good.

Hold on.

Thank you very much, Liam Stewart.

Ahoy to you.

Ahoy, boy.

Awesome women thought of it for a while.

Sweet.

The Lord of the Dance, Michael Flatley.

Bad luck.

Bad luck, Michael.

I thought of him today.

Sorry.

I actually said the Alan Partridge joke.

Flatly, my dear, I don't river dance.

I literally saw it at the Sony.

I showed, I gave my wife, you know, it is a great joke.

I didn't sell it properly because it's not mine, but

there was a meme that was going around and it was an Irish dance

lineup, right?

Where the people are doing it.

And it's like a meme that says, you know.

My kid between every mouthful of food at the dinner table, I saw the guy doing a big Irish dance.

And I'm like, that is what our kids do every night.

Just one mouthful, got to get up, got to find a cat, got to run it back to the table.

Please get back to the table.

As a double, when we're over in New York City, Ham, I walked past Radio City Music Hall

and the River Dance is featuring in April.

Yeah, I saw it on a poster.

So unfortunately.

Flatly's not still.

No,

Flatley's out of it now.

Yeah, but it just made me think of Michael Flatley, the lord of the river dance.

He was the lord.

And from what I understand, I

followed the monarchy of dance very heavily, but I don't think he was toppled as the lord.

I think he's still the lord.

He remains the lord.

He remains the lord.

Emily, ahoy to you.

Ahoy, boys, how you going?

Very well.

Very good.

That's good.

Look, I'm Devo.

That DNT's hat's gone, but I'm coming fast and legal.

Good, good.

I'm hoping that you haven't thought of Clippy, the animated Microsoft paperclip.

Have you, Ando?

So you probably use

every day.

I'm so sorry.

On this upcoming season of the 100,

we did how many people recognize these famous icons.

Oh, I think I was on that episode.

You were on the episode.

There we go.

I have thought of Clippy.

I never think of him as Clippy, though.

Yeah, just think of him.

Yeah, paperclip, yeah.

And so, Hamish and I both have thought of that and discussed it on television.

What a bummer.

Although, should you wish to appeal our decision, you know which legal group to use.

everly thank you so much thanks louise cheers

hey guys update on up there ghazale oh yeah yeah yeah

this is the song yep that is ours well documented yes is australia's favourite song not the song mike brady's no mike

who is watching

steve bloomers sorry mike brady's the singer of that song yeah steve bloomer is watching Bloomer's watching.

Derby County have stolen the song and used it over there in Britain.

And funnily enough, I mean, I joke, but Mike Brady is watching.

He's the guy that sings that song.

And he's watching closer than anyone when that song is used because he's very particular about it.

Yes.

And we were excited to, at the Collingwood-Carlton game, which would be going out tonight.

We were recording this a couple of days before.

to play up there Khazali to shock the father-in-law of one of our listeners listeners who thinks it's an original song called Steve Bloomers Watching.

Yep, and this father-in-law is obviously English in the country going to his first AFL match.

Just a great chance for us to borrow a few minutes of airtime at the MCG, not bothering too many people, but, well, you know, 100,000 people or so, but just for our own purposes to shock one visiting Britain.

Everything was going smoothly, but Andrea, you tell us there's been an update.

AFL signed off on it.

They said, though, it's the Collingwood home match.

Yep.

They're in charge of the stereo, basically.

If it's your house, it's your sound system.

Collingwood have said no.

Collingwood said no.

Yeah, Collingwood have said no, as if they needed another reason for people to hate their club.

And they were suddenly going into this new nice guy thing.

You know, they had lovely new coaching, lovely players.

And now they've done this.

What was their reason?

They said they're just jam-packed.

I said, what, for two?

Jam-packed.

I said for two hours.

I said, two hours.

Show us your Spotify.

Show us the playlist and we can cut one song out of that.

Exactly.

I said to, I rang the CEO, Craig Kelly.

And as soon as he picked up, he went, I can't do it, mate.

Sorry.

And I said,

this is dominating the match, the pre-match.

And I said, what do you mean?

Is it because you're involved, Ando, and you're a well-known calm spa and you're the enemy?

It's not that good.

I think that's it, Jack.

He said, he said, mate, we're announcing 30 years of our sponsor collaboration.

And I said, yeah, for two hours.

Just do it like, hey, Michelle, I do it.

20 seconds at the front top yep mid-roll mid-roll

and then 20 seconds at the end sponsors will wrap with that they don't love too

much hours people don't want too much

exactly you said it's a big announcement i said it can't be two hours you can't have two hours of thanking the sponsor that is just ridiculous i mean to be honest i think the sponsor would like a little break as well

do we go to the sponsor now

it's emirates yeah i don't want to drag them into this but no it seems late in the day to call a sheep or whoever is the head of Emirates.

He said, there's just a lot of activation.

He said, how long, Daniel?

He said, look, one, one chorus, one verse.

Like, just like, we don't need the whole track.

And perhaps a little message from us

at the stub.

He said, I'll look into it, but he hasn't got back to me.

I think it's over.

So what I'm going to do, guys.

I got Mike Brady's permission, too.

I did my job.

You meant to ring him.

Have you got audio then?

Yes.

I call.

So here's the obviously the, we need his permission to play the song.

He's the owner of the song.

Yeah.

Called him just actually earlier this morning.

First of all, Mike, thanks so much for taking the call.

I'm just wondering,

I know you've heard the show.

Is it okay if we use Up There Kazale?

Like, can we play it before grand final time?

Yeah, no worries.

He's fine with it.

Did the conversation go longer?

Ages.

That's just the highlights where he officially puts on tape his permission.

So

my quest was going to be going in Thursday night to see a shocked British old elderly gent.

I know.

We had it all paid.

You're going to film him.

I've changed my mission.

Yep.

I'm going in two hours before.

And I'm going to assess where they could have squeezed it in.

So I'm going to give you guys a full report next week.

If there's any fat in the two hours left,

if there's any fat whatsoever in the schedule, I'm going to identify it and I'll bring back the areas where I felt like we could have slipped in at least a minute of out there, Kazali.

My report will be next week.

I mean, do you include any sponsor messages as fat?

Or I suppose that has to be?

No, well, that's the bit they needed to put in.

So I'm not calling that sub.

I'm just saying if there's a lull,

if there's nothing being played, or

if they've done a message too much, I'll let the speaker they can sing to their sponsor as much as they like.

But if they've got anything else that's happening that I think

is

you're going to be the only person, I'm confident, the only person that's going to that match to assess the pregame programming.

It's not a thing you commonly hear from, you know, footy, no matter which code you follow or whatever sport, to come home and go, good match, super tight pregame programming.

They did this one thing about an hour out where they morphed we will rock you into a thing for chemist warehouse.

It was really good.

Really, really tight.

I uh yeah, couldn't find any fat in it.

Oh, watch your step.

Wow, your attic is so dark.

Dark.

I know, right?

It's the perfect place to stream horror movies.

What movie is that?

I haven't pressed play yet.

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Hey, I did a cool medical maneuver the other day.

Oh.

Pretty cool.

Pretty cool medical maneuver.

Like on someone else.

Oh.

Like the Heimlich or something.

You know how you can.

Yeah, yeah.

You don't have to be a doctor, but you certainly

didn't save someone's life.

Have you learnt the maneuver or do you invent?

I invented it.

No, you didn't.

No, you didn't.

I was actually about to say that's a stupid question.

And then he said, it's great that you don't know my friends like I do.

So

you didn't have an instrument.

Yes.

Right.

Wouldn't be exciting.

Did you search for the instrument?

I knew where it was.

Okay.

And then had you thought, oh, here's the ailment.

I know, I've got just the thin.

Or had you seen the instrument before and gone, oh, I could use that for said ailment.

Okay.

No, the instrument is used for a much different, well, a very different reason.

It was invented for a different reason,

but it shares a common solution goal with the problem I was presented with.

Was there an item trapped inside someone?

Yes.

Right, right, right.

So one of Sonny's mates was over and they're playing in the pool.

Right.

Now, you know how frustrating it is to get water trapped in your ear.

It can ruin the day.

You hate a blocked ear out.

I hate a blocked ear.

Now, wax is a different kettle of fish.

Wax is a tougher.

You kind of do need, oh, you can do it with a super soaker, but you do need to go to the doctor and get that flushed out.

Yes.

You could do it with a super soaker.

I'm just going to say anything, Hamish.

This is not.

I'm not saying

shared body.

I do say should.

Didn't say should, said could.

I'm thinking post-apocalyptic.

The old way they used to do it in the 80s was exactly what you're saying.

They would just, with a syringe, fire as much water in as possible to try and draw, say, mud or something out.

Yeah, or wash the

game.

I think you can still get that kit at the chemist.

Yeah, like a big syringe.

I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do.

And bear in mind, too, were I to do it again, I'm saying go to the doctor, preferably, but say post-apocalyptic, doctors, you know, society's crumpled, but you do have a super soaker.

I would

you certainly, you know, sterilize the water.

I'd boil the water and put like a salty solution in it too.

If you're going to be shooting that up an ear.

Anyway.

Let it cool down after the boiling.

Yep.

Good step, Jack.

Good step.

And also, because if you put boiling hot water in a super soaker magazine, that's going to melt the plastic too.

Makes it harder for the next ear surgery you have to do.

Anyway.

Wasn't wax.

Wasn't wax.

I'm just giving you an insight there into the mind of someone who's solutions driven.

It was water.

Suddenly water's trapped in this young man's ear and I use a different name for legal reasons mostly my own

so poor old Reggie comes out of the pool and then he's only been in the pool for 10 minutes like oh I've got water trapped in my ears that's annoying goes I feel like it's just about to come out okay so he's like sort of jumping up and down shaking his head doing that thing I said yeah what about my and I think this is my thought process

You know, the candles that people can light, and the they light a counter hollow candle, and the vacuum created on the inside of the candle jack draws wax or water or whatever out of the ear, right?

It's like an ancient remedy, sure.

Yeah, so that idea popped into me.

And of course, we don't have ear candles on hand at home, but I thought to myself, actually, Reggie,

let me see if I can help you.

We do have a small plunger,

And

how small?

It would have to be tiny.

Tiny.

No, no, that goes over the whole ear.

Oh, right.

Not a Sylvanian family's plunger, like a Lego plunger.

No, no, it goes over the whole ear, but like a small one that we sometimes use for blocking one of the toilets get through.

We've create enough of a negative pressure environment.

Yeah.

Very, very gently, mind you.

I'm aware of the dangers.

to draw the water out.

But wouldn't you have to have a completely flat side of the head?

No, you just you've got to create a seal, you're right, because the cup of the plunge is going over the ear.

That's hard.

I could see how frustrated he was.

And let's not forget, this has been a much anticipated play date.

So the stakes are high.

You don't want water in you for the whole play date.

So I go, hang here, Reggie, in the kitchen.

I'll go to the toilet and get it.

Go to the toilet, get it.

Took it to the laundry, washed it thoroughly.

Right.

Okay.

Even squirted a bit of bleach in there and stuff.

It's like, we'll really clean this thing.

This is now a medical grade instrument

that just so happens to have its holder in a toilet.

Its original use was toilets.

But there's ain't nothing in the rule book says it can't be used on heads.

Okay.

So I

now I'm thinking it through in my head.

The way a plunger works is when you push it down, it creates positive pressure.

Yes.

Then when you pull it back, it creates negative pressure.

I was like, we don't want to create positive pressure into the ear that can burst an eardrum or whatever.

You shouldn't do that.

First thing they teach you at plunger medical school.

So I was like, we actually have to push it down off the head and then put it on the head in the down position.

So you just pull it out.

You're just doing the negative bit.

You also want to be careful of that.

Like, very, very careful.

So I was like, we don't know how hard we're pulling.

Right.

Because you, I mean, obviously, if his brains came out,

if he's the eyeball on the side that I'm suctioning suddenly disappears, there will be questions asked.

Sorry.

Like you can all just know.

this is all going through my head so you go okay you're inventing a new medical procedure here the upsides are enormous playday can get back on track and and Reggie can have a great day

the downsides are significant obviously it's a child that's not my child's head and ears in play here

what do we have in society that stops mad cap ideas just going straight to the patient with human trials.

Let's test it on me.

So that's good.

I take it to me.

We actually probably have animal trials first, but I didn't think the cats would love it.

So I'll take it to me.

And I did it a little bit.

So pushed the plunger down, put it on my own ear, practice the pressure.

How'd it feel?

I was like, yeah, fine.

Just like a slight sucking.

Took it into the kitchen, said, Reggie, come here.

I think I've got a solution.

Now, was he?

What's his disposition at that point?

He's pretty up for it, guys.

Okay.

Good idea, Reggie.

I love it.

He's a great kid and he's up for a lot.

Yeah, great.

Bit like a kid.

I don't think he even knew me and said, should we try this?

And I'm always used to go, yeah, sure.

I don't think he really knew what was happening.

But I said, I'm going to try something to get it out.

And he was like, great.

You know,

he's exactly the kind of guy I wanted to be in business with.

Upside focus.

A little bit of a risk appetite.

Happy to be at the frontier of medicine.

So I did what I'd been trained to do on my own head, depressed it, put it on his head, eased it off, right?

Eased it off.

And the look on his face when I got it

because it popped out,

instant satisfaction, right?

And I'm stoked too because I'm like, then I undid the seal and like, we're safe.

The like, could you see the water?

Well, it was just, no, no, it was just, yeah, he was like, oh, it's, it's out.

Like, I seen his face.

And so there we are in the absolute, you know, afterglow of experiment gone right, PlayDate's back on track.

The year's been unblocked, as suspected.

This is a good method.

Benzo walks past the kid

because

Reginald is in board shorts and stuff, obviously, like still dripping on the floor.

And I'm there with the plunger on his head.

He goes, what are you doing?

And I said, oh, had a block deer.

Had a block.

Your hat is really important.

Had.

He's better now.

He's better than that.

So I goes,

what are you doing?

You can't put that on his head.

It's already happened.

And Reg, tell us.

He goes, yeah, it's out.

He fixed it.

That is from the toilet.

I was like, I washed it.

I obviously washed it.

I've washed it several times.

And then he left.

And so I was like, you just, you just can't.

Please don't do that.

Please don't do that anymore.

The way she was saying it was like, I want to do it together.

Like, I'm just cruising around looking for a used to play.

I won't leave you now.

It has to stop.

That's the the last time.

The funny thing is, as I was, as it was now, I had time to process it, Reggie Stadi is actually one of

Sydney's, if not Australia's, best surgeons.

So I think, had it gone wrong, I just wonder, would he have been on my side and

applauded the pioneering spirit?

Or would he have

been more of the school of thought?

Because it's the school he came up in, isn't he?

He is a school of thought.

He's been studying for 20 years and you know slow and steady interesting would never know because it was a successful operation

well it's been a week oh it's been a week now um

jacko with you with the new golf buggy yes and I hear things, I hear you couldn't be happier.

It's had the desired effect on the course.

I have, maybe it was a coincidence, but I have played my best ever round of golf

taking out the electric bug.

It's quite incredible that this is coming.

Because I've got to say, that text from Jack gave me joy.

It did.

We were happy.

It's worked.

The whole ordeal's been worth it.

This is the desired effect.

He's shooting less, like, you know, like

many shots under his handicap.

So for golf people, that's a big, that's a big relief.

But we had to counterbalance that out with the overwhelming amount of emails that were disappointed with the result.

Do you think, Jack, hearing that you shot your best ever round and you broke 90 for the first time, you shot 99, do you think there would be...

First question, do you think there'd be universal joy amongst the listeners to hear that?

I was getting the vibe.

I have not.

been on social media this week.

Maybe another coincidence, but maybe also because I was getting the vibe that some people would have preferred

me to give the golf buggy back over to the people.

And we didn't expect that because it was a game.

I wasn't saying it's a fair game, but it was a game we all agreed on to play.

And I started typing that out and I thought, you know what?

It doesn't matter.

I can't have this argument with all 10,000 people who entered themselves into the competition.

So maybe I'll just have a break and I've got things to do anyway because I've got golf to play.

Hayne had a wonderful suggestion, though.

On the way in, Hain give me a call and says, we we can't ignore the masses.

What's the vibe?

Look, Jack, look, I think overwhelmingly, people are like, you know what?

It was an exciting display that I think you'd only get to see on a podcast where the rules are written and rewritten daily.

And at every step along the way, it was understandable the choices you made.

And there were some that were going.

Okay, not what we're used to hearing.

Like usually on a show that's the people show, not always do you hear no element of success going to the people to which i would temper though those to those people like how many people did want the golf bug yeah i mean not i wouldn't say that's every single listener listening can we also say there's also a lot of people excited for you jacket play it hard and i think i think honestly for the

bianke said to me why didn't you just have the fun with the roulette and then gift it back to the people afterwards but i thought that would have that would have taken something away from the realness of the roulette game and i i don't think any of us are good enough actors to just pretend we're playing the roulette game and then at the end, it's a happy ending.

And

I know another reason why you didn't do it because he wanted the buggy so bad.

And we all...

I think the integrity of the game was also in his mind.

That is without two reasons.

You wanting the buggy so bad was never in doubt, Jack, that we completely ticked that box.

I also want to say it's not, there's no anger.

I haven't seen a single doubt on my side of the fence of the emails.

No anger.

I've seen no hatred.

I've just seen people disappointed with the result.

And that happens.

You can go and support your favorite team in a game.

They don't always win.

And you have to lose some for them to win.

When it does come to the people, it will feel that much better.

That's right.

Oh, good on you, Jack.

Putting them through a tough loss.

However, Jack, this is what I was thinking.

When I chatted to Andrea this week, I was like, look, you can't deny that the worst case scenario for you would have been a zero.

Because that is really where you should have given that extra edge to the people yes a zero yeah right at the casino is a loss so that probably should have been theirs anyway you didn't have to i think probably if it had it come up zero i would have then donated it back to the people

very good point thank you so i was sort of saying to end it like you know in any game of chance you have to acknowledge the that the gods were smiling upon jack as much as much as we were like you know and i think i mentioned zoe my wife was like God, he can't please be red, please be red.

Like, she just didn't want it to go to you.

But you have to acknowledge the gods were smiling upon you.

And I think everyone in the game has to acknowledge that the gods, you know, were smiling upon you.

And statistically, you did have an edge.

But at the same time, I think for this feeling of disappointment, for this scattering few, I think what would balance the ledger in the universe is

I think that people demand tribute.

I think you should offer up something as a thank you to the gods of chance and to the universe that allowed you to walk away with the electric buggy, which you're never giving back, we can tell, because it's completely changed your golf game.

Well, now it'd be crazy to give it back.

I took five shots off my best ever.

No, it's all right, Jack.

We're not trying to make you give.

We know you love the buggy.

We get that.

Everyone gets that.

But what I think...

There was 10,886 people that wanted a giveaway of

sorts.

I mean, they wanted the buggy, but something would be nice.

We think you should offer up something from your house or your life of a good value.

Okay, because so I can't just say like one golf ball.

No,

no, Jack, that's not the spirit of.

I want to know where your head's at, so I can't get it.

We're

not one golf ball in Jeepscape.

You got a dog.

I said you on the phone.

And I said, This is the worry.

this is the worry

this is the worry

no jack i want you to think like old testament biblical times or like a mayan civilization where they sacrificed you know a human vikings would sacrifice a human to please the gods they did not kill a weed and go we killed something that was not enough for the gods the gods Think of this like, you know, like, yeah, ancient Greek times.

Yeah, I feel like the show's calmer alive.

You must sacrifice

something of worth, not a golf ball, which we know for a fact you get for free.

So why wouldn't you even offer 12?

Thanks, Taylor Mate.

I'm literally jacking the golf course.

I'm out of balls.

All right, I'll buy you some more.

No, no, I've never bought a ball.

I will never buy a ball.

Okay, let me...

Can I have some time to have a think of it?

Because honestly, nothing comes to mind because I'm a simple, I'm a minimalist type person.

You're a hoarder.

No, no, no.

I don't have that many

luxury things.

things no but it's not something that means nothing to you that you just have surplus of it's something that means something to you that again i referenced the ancient gods well i can't give you like what like my grandma's ring or something like that people were sacrificing their kids back in the day you know i'm not saying give away your kid

gordy can stay with you i'm just saying back in the day he even when the village sacrificed a lamb that was a big deal because it's like we've only got six and we need them to be grown sheep what about gordy's cot because he didn't need it anymore that's not the god is not

This isn't hard rubbish.

It has to be something of meanie, like a guitar or something.

What about a guitar?

No, no, I love that guitar.

You have to make it right with the guys.

Give him a week.

We'll come back and have a think about it.

And then what?

Give away a guitar.

Wait, okay, wait, wait.

Just so I'm clear, is it another game of chance where I can win back?

No, that will not.

I'm just...

He's the people.

They were expecting expecting a giveaway.

Hey, we won't pressure him anymore.

I think he now knows the level of what we expect, what we're hopeful of, but he can pick the level.

We'll give him a week.

We just don't hear about this in ancient Greek history when like the chief, I don't know, like the grand seer of the village or the chief shaman said, okay, well, the gods demand a sacrifice.

We pick you.

And they go come back and they go, yeah, look, we're not going to do it.

I mean, we tried.

We offered you some old sandals we don't use anymore.

No, no, we

got your pardon.

When we do the sacrifice, there's a chance we could win something off the gods.

No, that's not how pleasing the gods works.

All right.

So, um, we'll give you a week, Jacko, and then come on, please.

The gods.

Thanks for listening.

The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

Catch up or contribute at Hamishandandi.com.

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