2024 Ep 275 - “The amount of absolute s**t that comes out of our mouths!”

Speaker 1 A listener production.

Speaker 2 Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three,

Speaker 2 two.

Speaker 2 Sorry, still buffering.

Speaker 2 One.

Speaker 2 Ahoy to me, Catherine. Hamish.

Speaker 2 Maybe hurricanes or

Speaker 2 Towns of the Northern Territory.

Speaker 2 No, not Towns of the Northern Territory.

Speaker 2 Maybe it's wives of Henry VIII. Ahoy to my Anne.
Yes. Oh, that sounds trivial.
I think it's wives of Henry VIII. This feels very trivia, Nighty.

Speaker 2 You've got it, Ham. I'd be Jane.
They were the three names. So it is a three-based thing, though, the three names of Henry VIII.
Six wives. Three Catherines, two Annes, one Jane.

Speaker 2 I mean, they only had like 20 names back then. That's true.
That's why it was three Catherines. and

Speaker 2 you won't get anything. Henry's and Williams all over the place.
Yeah. Not a lot of, like, you know, nowadays you go to a playground, it's just Harpers and Albies and

Speaker 2 Spices and apples. Yeah.
Spoon's a name.

Speaker 2 I haven't run into a spoon myself, but I believe you. There's one out there.
There'd be a spoony, for sure. There would be a spoon.
Spoonman's kid.

Speaker 2 Very, very deep reference to

Speaker 2 a triple M late night radio jock from many years ago. The Spoon Man.

Speaker 2 Late night. He'd say what everyone's thinking.
Um, a lot

Speaker 2 and I hope he's passed that on. And then the young spoon we'd be thinking it, he'd say it, we'd think it again.
And you go, second time I've thought that. I was thinking it, he said it.

Speaker 2 Now I'm thinking it again. That's right.
He wouldn't then say it again, though. No, then you'd be in a loose like mirrors reflecting each other.
Or a feedback from electric guitar.

Speaker 2 One thing.

Speaker 2 I know, Click sword in Spoon Man. We're in a loop.

Speaker 2 Eloise, who used the very easy to use system, Habbishetty.com to tell us what she's been up to.

Speaker 1 Ahoy fellas, I hope you are well. I just wanted to let you know that I travelled from Perth to Sydney last week for work, and I had four hotspots that I had to tick off while I was there.

Speaker 1 One was the Sydney Opera House, two was the Sydney Harbour Bridge,

Speaker 1 three was Pancakes on the Rocks, and four was Zeopinaz. You know, said to say ahoy to you fellas and he also gave me one dollar off my meal and I didn't even have to give him a bow.
See you later.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's if that's that's why he is he's known as the embassy of the show, isn't it? It's like he's the absolutely the you know because I know a podcast is very ethereal.

Speaker 2 It's a digital file but if we were to ever have a physical embodiment of the show he's our shop front. Yes.
He's our outside store. And I and that they are the four things to tick off in Sydney.

Speaker 2 I think they spend way too much time with postcards of the first two. Oh, yeah, a lot of fuss made about the Harper Bridge and the Opera House.
Very few snow domes with ZORIA in the strip of shops.

Speaker 2 But again, I mean, we talk about this from time to time.

Speaker 2 You know, you look at the Brisbane Olympic Committee, the organising committee, and they will be right now knuckling down and going, okay, what are our big landmarks we can do?

Speaker 2 And the fact that Sydney, and I just worry because, you know, Sydney in 2000, they'd made good use of the bridge. They made good use of the opera house.
They didn't utilise Ziopinos, which was a miss.

Speaker 2 But I think if you're on the Brisbane committee, you'd be like, God, why does Sydney, you know, Sydney's got Ziopinos as well?

Speaker 2 It just feels unfair. Like, what can we do? So they'll be hunting around for their Ziopino equivalent.
And

Speaker 2 good luck. They've got Pancake Manor in Brisbane, which is their version of Pancake on the Rocks.
And you can see

Speaker 2 that. You get the feeling like the Paris Opening Olympics, it will be heavily hung around that, like they sort of did with the Louvre and the Arctrion stuff.
A lot of pancakes dancing. Yeah,

Speaker 2 sort of, you know, that'll be the central hub, and then it will spoke out from there, out from the manor. Looking forward to that.
Haim, you were at the top of this show.

Speaker 2 A couple of loose ends we've got to get to. So while we're talking about the top three of the show,

Speaker 2 the game of three that Mike spends 20 hours a week on.

Speaker 2 And again, apologies to Mike that we got it in one there, but

Speaker 2 we didn't really get in one. We peppered around the answer.
A couple of weeks ago,

Speaker 2 we had the Dewey. Do you remember this? The

Speaker 2 dewy was the first clue we had the game of three were we huey jewy and louie or did we just guess we we thought huey jewie and louie then we thought maybe jewy decimal systems famous decimal systems that's right famous

Speaker 2 i can't really think of too many others apart from the dewey one but it was actually logical

Speaker 2 so this comes medical this comes in from um this comes in from nathan and he goes look i was listening to the latest episode couldn't help but feel a sense of rage at mike's choice for the trio okay said my wife had already listened and she pre-warned me see if you you can guess, but after the second one, it's obvious.

Speaker 2 So try and get it in one. So he heard Jewey.
He paused. He turned to her and said, is it Huey, Jewey, and Louie? She said, no.
I listen on.

Speaker 2 Then I hear Reese and I immediately became aware of what's happening and I shake my head. My wife asked, what's wrong?

Speaker 2 To which I said glumly, well, it's brothers of Malcolm in the middle, but they are not a trio at all. They have an older brother, Francis.
Later in the show,

Speaker 2 later in the show, they have another brother, Jamie. They are not a trio at all.
They are a quintet.

Speaker 2 Mike has put his own love of Frankie Muniz above the integrity of the segment, and I hope he's held accountable.

Speaker 2 Wow. Where is Mike? Hiding.
That is a shock because it's meant to be big. It's important three things.
It's big threes.

Speaker 2 Now, I suppose people might say, well, there's probably more icebergs than the three that I read out. But it's true.
There are three main icebergs. The three main icebergs.

Speaker 2 Oh, no. We're getting him in here.
And I feel like

Speaker 2 there's other other type of guitars or samurai swords that we're ready there are three big triangles but i'm sure there's a few other triangles apart from isosceles and the others mike come in here just quickly jump on jump in mike now you've heard you've heard the allegation that that uh it's not a three nathan yeah nathan has claimed that there are you know he's disappointed that that the brothers uh from malcolm in the middle were being used as a three when they're in fact a quintet

Speaker 3 I'm going to be on it. This is actually what I think about this because we've never actually officially designed how this game works.

Speaker 3 I'm going to be honest, Andy, sometimes they're not threes.

Speaker 2 Like, for example, recently we had Egyptian what we just did, the wives of Henry VIII. I suppose there were several others we just did.

Speaker 2 I know there were six, but they're only three names, so it could count as a three. We did Egyptian gods.

Speaker 3 There's more than three, but it was still, no one complained about that. So I'm just wondering, where is the line? Because

Speaker 3 I stress so much about this.

Speaker 2 I know too much.

Speaker 2 20 hours. 20 hours.
You've got time to do nothing else. You come in.
Your hair's a mess. You haven't shaved for days.
You're wearing rags. Your cat hasn't been fed.

Speaker 3 Allocate like at least. No, actually, don't worry.

Speaker 2 I'm not saying it doesn't matter. No.

Speaker 2 How much allocation is that?

Speaker 3 Like, I will sit there for an hour and I'll, these are the questions that will come into my mind now. Like, is someone going to call me out because it's not a three?

Speaker 3 Or there's other, like, I actually thought with the Malcolm one, oh, there's other brothers, but these are the three core ones.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 3 So I just want to.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 when you've done that minute of thinking, what do you do with the other 59?

Speaker 2 But I feel like, say, if I'd come out and gone

Speaker 2 scary, baby, sporty, I think we'd be left going, but what about the other spice girls?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, I don't know. The question is, I'm not sure.
I'll be naming Malcolm in the middle.

Speaker 2 I think the accusation is, did you... Yeah, but your love of Frankie Mune is above the integrity of the game.
That's what Nathan's disappointment is.

Speaker 3 No, because to those who have seen the show, Francis the older brother does not live with them. He goes to boarding school.
Oh, so he's never actually really in the same scene as the three

Speaker 2 children that live in the house was a more specific market segment of that.

Speaker 3 And then the other one was born like in season six.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there was another one in the second season.

Speaker 3 So, you know,

Speaker 3 really, to me, it feels valid.

Speaker 2 The answer was Malcolm children, Malcolm in the Middle Children that live in the house pre-season five.

Speaker 2 Yes, that is

Speaker 2 the game. That was the game we just forgot to specify.
We keep wanting them to be harder.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I feel like, well, I mean, now, can we make a rule there, no more Frankie Muniz-based ones?

Speaker 3 Yeah, there's only been one Frankie.

Speaker 2 I know that. I know that.
I think that's the worry.

Speaker 2 Mike, or do we take people behind Inside the Mind of a Genius now and go, if you had to make another Frankie Muniz-based triplet, like, you know, group of three,

Speaker 2 what would you do?

Speaker 3 Right now on the spot.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Like, what's a category that could relate to him where you could give us three things that...
Okay, I've got one.

Speaker 2 I'd go

Speaker 3 Frankie, Amanda, Hillary, and it's child stars of the 2000s. Amanda Lions, Hillary Duff, Frankie Muniz.

Speaker 2 To echo Jack. So where's the other 59 minutes?

Speaker 2 Yeah, but if I don't,

Speaker 2 you guys

Speaker 2 have to do it for me. Yeah, but he did seem to come up with a very good

Speaker 2 in his windowless office.

Speaker 2 Get back in the hole of threes and come back to me with a better one.

Speaker 2 Hey,

Speaker 2 Jack, this actually wanted for Jack.

Speaker 2 Beck and I are building this house at the moment.

Speaker 2 Bit by bit. Which we've mentioned before, even on the pod.
Yep. You have.
Yeah. Jack was almost going to build it for a second.
Well, that's the part I want to bring up.

Speaker 2 So I'm on site with the builder, and he said, Who's Jack?

Speaker 2 And I said, Why? And he goes, Well, everyone keeps saying that we start this tunnel, starting the tunnel, okay? So the house has a tunnel. The house does have a tunnel.
That's the

Speaker 2 nice

Speaker 2 Instagram account, the old, the build at Ravenswood. I want to see the bill at Ravenswood.

Speaker 2 That's the account I'm interested in. Just every week, show us the cards.

Speaker 2 because i mean the stuff that's getting the stuff that's getting thrown into this house that's true that is true it is costing a bit but also i can't imagine i can't imagine

Speaker 2 but i've as a guy that's saved you know you know me i don't spend anything this is like this it's i'm i think i'm spent the last 20 years of saving and yes it's um It's all coming out at once.

Speaker 2 What do you get? The man who has everything? A tunnel. A tunnel.
Where does the tunnel go from? Doesn't the tunnel go from the dog salon to the dog? To the golf sim.

Speaker 2 The dog golf sim. There is

Speaker 2 an old house from 1876. Yeah, that tunnelless back then, they didn't, you know, back in the good old days

Speaker 2 before every house on a tunnel. I mean, it started off, all we lived in was tunnels back in caveman and times.

Speaker 2 We started

Speaker 2 land back then, we came out. Some medieval stuff had tunnels, we lost tunnels, now tunnels are back for those that can have them.
Bringing them back. Um,

Speaker 2 so the weird thing about our house is it faces the river, It's on the Yarrow River in Melbourne. It faces the river.
Have you got a discount? Not the street. So

Speaker 2 it's backwards. So it's mooning because they used to arrive by the river.
Because it was from such a true

Speaker 2 so long ago that you're more likely to have a visitor turn up on a boat

Speaker 2 than a horse from the street. So your house feels like it's turned its back to the street.
Exactly. It's showing its back to the street.
So it's mooning the street, which is not great.

Speaker 2 And how does a tunnel fix that? Well, normally in a river. When you have run underground, so you don't have to see it.

Speaker 2 you would you would build off one side like normally build off the back yep and so instead of covering the the the front which is the back facade yep we wanted to keep it so you actually tunnel down from the old house and then you're going to come across to a new build that will look back at the old house okay

Speaker 2 anyway

Speaker 2 you can look at it on

Speaker 2 a command bunker on easter yes so anyway the builder's gone to me hey who's jack and I'm like, why? And he's like, well, everyone just keeps saying Jack should be building this tunnel.

Speaker 2 And I haven't got a list of a quote from Jack or anything. I don't, I thought we were in charge of the tunnel.
So he's hearing people seriously asking him, like, when's Jack start the tunnel?

Speaker 2 And other subcontractors are coming through and going, when's Jack starting the tunnel to him? And he doesn't obviously listen to the podcast.

Speaker 2 So he thinks Jack is going to build the tunnel. I had to explain to him, no, it's a running joke we've got that Jack said that he would build the tunnel.

Speaker 2 I think at one point on the pod, you said you... I said I would quote you for the tunnel.
Maybe I said I'd give you a cheaper price than what you were getting. Do you want to, here's my point, Jack?

Speaker 2 Do you want to put together a quote?

Speaker 2 By the way, I wouldn't know the first thing we'll get done.

Speaker 2 Jack,

Speaker 2 my first hint would be,

Speaker 2 gap.

Speaker 2 I guess, yeah.

Speaker 2 I guess I could pump the number up and then I'll get subcontractors to bring some shovels and digging equipment. Or

Speaker 2 You could air task at this tunnel. If you wanted to, because the builders asked, I said, if you wanted to, Jack, I can give you a week.

Speaker 2 If you wanted to come back with an explanation of what you'd plan to do and a price, I'm willing to look at it.

Speaker 2 Okay, and can I ask the guy who's building the tunnel, is he just digging out the tunnel or does he have to build like rooms where the tunnel is or like

Speaker 2 floors and ceilings and stuff?

Speaker 2 Just earthwork?

Speaker 2 Pretty, pretty easy. I mean, no, I mean, I'm obviously not going to do it.
I'm going to outsource some of the work. But do you think you've got all the information you need here, Jack?

Speaker 2 You even asked him how long the tunnel is.

Speaker 2 It's like someone coming in to build like City Link or something under the City going, yeah, one you've got here in your checkout in your basket, one tunnel.

Speaker 2 Would you like any add-ons? You're on a road in there. Do you want some lighting?

Speaker 2 Because it is just a unit cost for a tunnel. Yeah.
You're playing this like SimCity in your head. Like

Speaker 2 click tunnel. I guess what I'm thinking of is just a work to get on the phone, hire some people to do the digging, and I'm estimating how long that's going to take.
Well, you charge for that, Jack.

Speaker 2 I mean, you're the project manager of the tunnel. That's what I mean.
And then I'll take my bit off the top.

Speaker 2 How much is a tunnel? I'm saying you can have a week deal.

Speaker 2 I mean, how long is the tunnel, Andy?

Speaker 2 It's actually not that we're, I've actually had to make the tunnel a lot smaller, sadly, due to the

Speaker 2 bill the bill nobody's safe nobody's safe for people having to shorten their tunnels oh boy well I'm sure we can get a GoFundMe started

Speaker 2 a lot of sympathy out there for people having to shave tunnel length off their enormous haunted mansion Renaults

Speaker 2 that'd be great

Speaker 2 how do you a tunnel has to be as long as it needs to be how do you make it shorter well there was

Speaker 2 you should should just make it narrower so it's the same volume of dirt but now you have to go through on your stomach

Speaker 2 if you want this length we can only have a three foot wide tunnel

Speaker 2 okay that's right that's like the little trolley yeah yeah but apparently like the equivalent would be going okay if it's say going from one side of the city to the other we're just going to bring it up earlier Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Like we don't have to get all the way. But it doesn't have to go house to house.
So now it goes house to what? Well, five meters from the house.

Speaker 2 house it was gonna go so you want you're pumping up and down like a dolphin

Speaker 2 porpoising across the backyard no it's now

Speaker 2 it used to go there used to be when the original design it went from outside the outside as well there was an outside way to join the tunnel

Speaker 2 and you can't you can't just walk from the back door of one house into the front door of the other house what about a quote for a hundred umbrellas

Speaker 2 you're never short of an umbrella and you just walk from one house to the other i mean

Speaker 2 that's that's actually a good point

Speaker 2 because there is a way to get there there is a way to get there yeah just not not not internally

Speaker 2 even one house would have done the trick and just stay in one house instead of needing two all right

Speaker 2 that's a good point tunnel boss

Speaker 2 Heym and Jack, we have a pretty closed door policy to negative feedback. That's something that we've run with for a long time.
Open door, very open, wide open, double doors for positive feedback.

Speaker 2 But I'm going to let one

Speaker 2 negative bit of feedback be slid underneath the closed doors. They found a way in.

Speaker 2 Is it about you? No, it's not. It's about all of us, actually.

Speaker 2 It's an attack on all of us.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 attack on one is attack on all, like negative.

Speaker 2 Yes. Jake Prendergast,

Speaker 2 he says, boys, I know you have a closed door policy and need your feedback, but the three-man fact shootout, the original one,

Speaker 2 Jesus.

Speaker 2 He writes after that, full stop, Jesus. He goes, Haim, the t-shirt fact was so bad.
No.

Speaker 2 No, it actually wasn't, Jake, because I've had several people come up to me and say, I didn't know that and I've really enjoyed that.

Speaker 2 Haim, the t-shirt fact was so bad, I would have struggled to pretend to be interested if my five-year-old had brought it home from school.

Speaker 2 andy no one over four has ever thought the nose in noise insects make um was anything but their wings flapping i do agree with that it wasn't the noise it was 800 a second that was the fact it wasn't the noise jack's fact was the only remotely interesting one thank you but predictably lacked prep leading

Speaker 2 it was an enormous run-up yeah so i just want to go back and review let's start with haim want to review the t-shirt fact. Oh, my God.
We've been over this. It's a good fact.

Speaker 2 I mean, like a lot of these facts, if you know it, it seems obvious. But if you don't, it's a good idea.
And the fact that it was probably the fact that you had discovered it that day.

Speaker 2 I had heard it recently. I mean, the whole segment was built around

Speaker 2 how can I bring this to the team in an exciting way? Because I think it carries that much weight. Yes.
And Haim just discovered it. So he was like, it's exciting.
So this is what happened.

Speaker 2 I'll go first since I've started this thing.

Speaker 2 Be honest with me. Did you guys know that a t-shirt is called a t-shirt

Speaker 2 because of the shape of the flip? Yes, 100%. Yes.

Speaker 2 Did you really know that?

Speaker 2 I feel like you just say that.

Speaker 2 I think you heard Jack be so confident. Then, Andy, you were like, I can absolutely jump on board this because I know that means Haynes getting shot.

Speaker 2 I don't even ever remember being told it is a fact as much as it's just like something.

Speaker 2 I didn't know. We don't have to rub it in.
I thought that was fascinating. I'd never thought about that.
There's the key phrase at the end. I'd never thought about that.

Speaker 2 Because Haim, on the 31st of August 2012,

Speaker 2 this was what happened in Jazz Chat.

Speaker 3 Hey, um,

Speaker 2 why do you think t-shirts are called t-shirts? They look like a tea.

Speaker 4 When they're laid out flat. Yeah, that's why I think they're called t-shirts.
We're the same. Cut it off.
It's true or not.

Speaker 2 See?

Speaker 2 Look at that. I don't know if it's true or not.

Speaker 4 Did you really know that?

Speaker 2 Because I just figured it out today, I feel.

Speaker 4 Really? Nah, I was

Speaker 4 young teens. Oh, really?

Speaker 4 Sorry, I hadn't thought about it. Ever.

Speaker 4 And then even with a long sleeve tee, it still works.

Speaker 4 The tee is just a bit longer. Yep.

Speaker 2 I mean, first of all, possible deep fake. Second of all.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it did only slightly sounded like you.

Speaker 2 I agree with that, Jackpad. So already an air of mystery over that.
Yes. We know that this is the way our brains work on this show, though.
Things pop in and out, but they don't stick.

Speaker 2 They don't stick at all.

Speaker 2 We cover the same stuff so many times. So that is interesting to hear, because, I mean, I hear that and I just go, well, it sounds, I mean, the guy sounds like me, but I have no recollection of that.

Speaker 2 Maybe this t-shirt fact, something about it is very interesting to my short-term memory and completely irrelevant to my long-term memory.

Speaker 2 So on that particular day, whenever that was, it popped into my head and I've gone, gee, that does make sense.

Speaker 2 My brain, something about the shape, letter correlation between tissues really fascinates my brain, but not in a long-term sense. So now, how many years have passed now? 15 years or something.

Speaker 2 And now 12 years 12 years and now yeah it's we're back i've let that piece of information go because some some stuff's got to be let go to make things handy i think what a shame what a shame though that my brain has let go of that going that's irrelevant we don't need that and then when it's come back around my brain's going well we need this and it's like going home and going why did i think we needed a whisk when i was at the supermarket we have a whisk why did i buy the whisk and

Speaker 2 we actually threw we threw it out and now we bought another whisk Okay, fair enough. Okay.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 I'll try and file it away in my longer-term memory now. No,

Speaker 2 I think, I mean, we know we're going to do 40 shows for 40 years. It still is a good.
I mean, I guess something about it fascinates me.

Speaker 2 If we go for 40 years, should we do a policy on like less gotcha moments from the past?

Speaker 2 I feel like people always like squirreling away in the back end of the podcast, like, oh, you said this once upon a time, you said that. It's got me before as well, home.

Speaker 2 The amount of absolute shit that comes out of our mouth, like, and it's just, you're just going second, one second to the next.

Speaker 2 I mean, the fact that someone's gone, like, then going to treat it like it's court testimony.

Speaker 2 I mean, it is just all for it. It is just

Speaker 2 infinite. You're right, Jack.
I mean, you're just open to infinite gotchas. You can't have an opinion anymore.
Well,

Speaker 2 can we, can we say that? As soon as you say one thing,

Speaker 2 you can't. You can't have an opinion.

Speaker 2 You can't find things interesting. You can't say you were wondering about something.

Speaker 2 Would we make this rule?

Speaker 2 If Haim

Speaker 2 brings up the t-shirt fact again, okay, for this particular fact, I think

Speaker 2 we've talked about enough that we retire, we all retire immediately.

Speaker 2 Oh my god,

Speaker 2 the power,

Speaker 2 it's powerful, but I'm just saying

Speaker 2 five years, ten years, some of something. If I'm just like, you know what, I think this show's had a good run.
Yeah, we've had a great time. That's when people will know we're done.

Speaker 2 Hey, before we go, guys, did you know that t-shirts are called?

Speaker 2 Oh my god, God, I'm not sure.

Speaker 2 Oh, no. That's the way I look at it.
One more year. No, that's why they're called t-shirts because of the shape and the leather.
Thanks for five decades. Good night.

Speaker 2 Hey, they keep coming in, and it's a reason people... Listen to the show.
One of the many reasons is to ensure that they remain powerful in social situations.

Speaker 2 Do you want me to kick it off or you? Mate, I stumbled across one of my own during the week. Tell me if you think this qualifies.

Speaker 2 It was actually a couple of weeks ago, but I remembered it today and I'm like, I think this qualifies.

Speaker 2 Caught up with our very good mate, Haydo, played a fast nine holes at a public golf course.

Speaker 2 And, you know, if you, he's got kids, I've got kids, you structure in a quick, quick game, but then there's time for a bit of a, it was an early morning, time for a bit of a coffee afterwards.

Speaker 2 Well, I hadn't eaten brecc. There's a cafe next door to this golf course.
We walk in there and I go, mate, are you hungry? I'm going to eat. He's like, no, I'm actually fine.
I had breakfast.

Speaker 2 It's like, right, do you want anything? He's like, no. I said, okay, well, I'm going to quickly eat and get a coffee.

Speaker 2 It was one of those cafes where you scan the QR code on the table and you just like, the menu comes up. I was like, do you want anything at all? He's like, no, I'm really good.

Speaker 2 Now, so this would work in this situation, right? Where you're with a friend. It needs to be one of these.
I think it works best if it's one of these QR menus.

Speaker 2 They could also be eating, doesn't, but

Speaker 2 perfect scenario, perfect conditions. I look on the coffee menu and I see that there's like a long black, I get that, but there's also a baby Chino

Speaker 2 for $1

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 50 cents extra for soy milk. I thought, well, I know this cost me $1.50, but I think it's worth it for the joke.

Speaker 2 I'll get him a soy baby Chino.

Speaker 2 And so then when the waiter comes out, And he's got two coffees, instead of going, hey, I just go, I'm the long black, right? Yes. So I get the long black.
And then the guy goes, and a soy baby Chino.

Speaker 2 You did very well at golf and you deserve a little treat.

Speaker 2 That's a libert.

Speaker 2 This one came in for Phil from the UK.

Speaker 2 When a work colleague puts their holiday in your calendar, simply propose a new time.

Speaker 2 That's good. Really like that.
That's crisp.

Speaker 2 This is a little, this is a slightly more involved one from Sue.

Speaker 2 She goes, every year when I visit my dentist, he's got the TV on the ceiling monitor. Like it's my left dentist.
He goes, he plays the chase.

Speaker 2 I was extremely impressed when he got nearly every question right. The next year, when I came back, he put the chase on again and he got nearly everything right again.

Speaker 2 I asked him how he was so good at trivia. He says, I'm on a pub trivia team.

Speaker 2 After the third year, I realized he was playing exactly the same episode of The Chase to everyone and memorizing the answers.

Speaker 2 I love it.

Speaker 2 This is from Sam Bloomer. Could be Steve Bloomer's

Speaker 2 cousin. You pray Jesus the lineage.

Speaker 2 Bit more involved as well.

Speaker 2 He said, I got power moved. Last night my car packed, the car battery carked it, but I knew exactly what battery I needed because I'd done my due diligence.

Speaker 2 So I went to the shop, proceeded to get the exact same battery I needed. Went at at the counter, the bloke said, hey, what's your red, Joe? We can check whether it's the right battery.

Speaker 2 And I thought, why not? Can't hurt. Oh, but it did hurt.
Lo and behold, it was the right battery. And the guy behind the counter goes, lucky guess.

Speaker 2 Good.

Speaker 2 All right. Great power move.
One for kids to do.

Speaker 2 So hopefully kids listening to this can power move their parents and then um then reap the rewards comes in from zach it's like if you are playing hide and seek get your parents or the grown-ups you're playing with like to hide once you finish counting don't find them just go about your day

Speaker 2 you essentially leave grown-ups trapped in the house uh for an extended period of time you get a mini break

Speaker 2 This one is,

Speaker 2 I mean, this is what a glimpse of the future because this is technology throwing a power move out there. Yeah, gotcha.

Speaker 2 But Annabelle said, I recently switched from Android to iPhone and discovered the photo library feature.

Speaker 2 It can identify people. It can, yeah, I think most phones can do that, can't they? She says, there's two occasions where I take selfies of myself in the morning when I'm trying out a new product,

Speaker 2 and obviously when I've put all my makeup up on, I'm heading out.

Speaker 2 It recognizes splitted into two different people.

Speaker 2 That is harsh.

Speaker 2 You want your phone to know you're a bit better than that. Yep.

Speaker 2 We are less than a month out from the most important conference there is for your business.

Speaker 2 And I really feel like the gross domestic product of Australia is just going to rapidly rise after our conference Sam ConCon. There's a cool new conference, no matter your beers.
Concon.

Speaker 2 The conference so nice you can deduct it once at a maximum can't stress it enough guest speakers include hamish blake jack post andy lee if you have registered and paid uh and are coming your industry is also registered alongside your ticket and we will guarantee you'll learn something about your industry of course meaning that it's tax deductible yep check with your local account Check the rules around that, but of course you are coming for business development and education purposes across two guaranteed sessions on the Saturday morning, plus a very likely third session at this stage that could be changed to unstructured networking, depending on how the first two go.

Speaker 2 Yes. Here's the thing, though, because we've made this promise, and this is, we want to get into the meat of it today.

Speaker 2 We've made this promise to be able to go, we will cover your industry and you'll pick up incredible insights and skills that are directly relevant to your business. There's 191 industries.

Speaker 2 We split them up. I think once a few came out, it turned out to be about 50 each, didn't it? Because there was a few of them.
There were actually a couple of double ups.

Speaker 2 so you'd collapse that down into just under about 50 each the thing is we've got two sessions right two hard-hitting fast-paced highly informative sessions that's what you're spending the money on yeah okay

Speaker 2 those sessions are 45 minutes each with minus a bit of faff you go right we've got 80 minutes to deliver yes our promise of business development and educational based conferencing to people.

Speaker 2 Do we want to do 80 industries at a minute each? They're probably not going to learn enough. That's why we came up with the idea of grouping.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But I'm saying we'd have to group under that anyway. We've got 150 to get into 80.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So how do you feel about it? I'm trying to group even further down than that.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I'm trying to make it so I get my list down to about

Speaker 2 15 groups. Okay.
Yeah. So that's a bunch of industries represented in what might be, let's say we have, say, 15 groups each.

Speaker 2 Like for easy maths, we go, right, that's 45 groups. Yep.
And then let's say we do go 90 minutes, two minutes a group. Okay, but we're going a little back down even further than that.
Okay,

Speaker 2 will you? 10 maybe 10 each. Yeah.
10 each. Let's go 12 because some of these groups, I just don't want to shortchange a group, you know.

Speaker 2 Okay, well, if you've got a group just to kick it up, hang on, 365.

Speaker 2 Okay, right. So

Speaker 2 we're going to get just over two minutes.

Speaker 2 Two minutes and about two minutes and 12 seconds. Okay.

Speaker 2 If we get 12 groups, if we have 36 groups. So 132 seconds per seminar, and that's what I reckon we do is we go right, and you know, because we're taking in turns, 36 mini seminars.

Speaker 2 Yep, I get up and the shot clock comes up behind me, 132 seconds, starts counting down, and I go, okay, everyone, okay, the next professions we're talking about, like I'll just look at one from my list here.

Speaker 2 This is a grouping of only two, I'll add more to this, but automotive hail repair, yep, right, and civil stormwater. Okay, topic of the the group is water it's sort of the enemy

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 that's a good that's a good link yeah so you got 132 seconds on what are you going to do about this you know how do you deal with bad water some good ideas on how do we see water in a different way so for that particular segment then i've got you know just over two minutes to come up with some great ideas that are relevant to both civil stormwater

Speaker 2 and well you know we can deliver a lifeguard and a pool renovations

Speaker 2 i'd like lifeguard Would that chuck it over? Would that be worth a trade? Because pool renovations, well, water's not the enemy. But lifeguard is the water is kind of the enemy for a lifeguard.

Speaker 2 That's what I mean.

Speaker 2 You have to see water in that way. Water's the enemy.
So Piffus Lifeguard. I'll trade you lifeguard.
You can have lifeguard. You can have...

Speaker 2 No, no, no.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying, would you like business analytics? Oh, boring. Well, I might have business analytics, Haim.
By the way, Andy divvied up all the categories, right, Jack? Yeah. And we got the list.

Speaker 2 I just put it into Google Randomizer. Are you sure? Yeah.
Do you think he gave himself the best ones? On Andy's list, there's fast food, beer, AFL, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 the way the cookie crumbles.

Speaker 2 Absolute easy. Yeah, but then I've got electrical engineering and logistics.
It all comes out to the bottom. You can put in some plausible deniability.

Speaker 2 What's your first category, Jack? Okay,

Speaker 2 the first one I've done is called Should Facial Prosthetics Be Used on Dogs? And that will cover two industries in my list.

Speaker 2 Can I guess what they are?

Speaker 2 Facial prosthetics. Yes.
That was going to be one of my guesses. And dog grooming.

Speaker 2 Okay. Yes.
I reckon that counts, Jack. So if you've got anything else that will fit into that.

Speaker 2 That might be a bit niche.

Speaker 2 I don't think I've got anything for you there.

Speaker 2 Are we going to allocate the exact

Speaker 2 same amount of time, depending on how many industries covered? So it's still just 132 seconds. I like the idea of the shot clock.
Okay, so

Speaker 2 I think each seminar is 132 seconds long. Can I just also say there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting lessons, you know, picking up something.

Speaker 2 If you are in civil stormwater, but you did find the facial prosthetic stuff interesting. Oh,

Speaker 2 you can absorb that. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Take down some notes. You'll be absolutely buzzing on biscuits.
You might as well do something with all that anyway. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Here's one that I bundled it in. boring jobs oh mate i can give you yeah i've got a snooze fest category as well

Speaker 2 one of my categories is snooze fest mine of my category is two hard baskets

Speaker 2 so here's the category though boring jobs or are they oh oh okay good a look into the stigma of working in a perceived boring job and how to deal with that prejudice oh that's really good right might let me let me know where that sits in the whole schedule because mine was more just going down the snooze fest category of like how to make your workplace a bit more interesting.

Speaker 2 Just if you, you know, there's a few in there. Well, I could say I could take, what was the one you asked me to take earlier on? Business analytics.
That's perfect for a boring job.

Speaker 2 Business analytics is actually in my snooze fest at the moment. I'll take it.
I'll take it for boring jobs and I'll look into the stigma of working in a perceived boring job. And I get lifeguard?

Speaker 2 You can have lifeguard. Nice trade.
It's the first trade. Oh, the bells run.
First trade.

Speaker 2 Can I ask?

Speaker 2 I got a real catch-all that I'm looking forward to doing called How Buildings Are Made. And this will cover real estate, commercial real estate, construction, steel making.

Speaker 2 I would love to request from you guys. Andy, I see you have architecture.
I would love to have that. Hamish, I would love to have HVAC, plumbing.

Speaker 2 Drafting. I've got a problem.
I have HVAC already in a category. What's a category for HVAC?

Speaker 2 Well, it's HVAC and drafting.

Speaker 2 I mean, I know it might be, it's drafting D-R-A-F-T-I-N-G. I don't know if they mean like you're an architect, like you're a draft.

Speaker 2 Isn't that spelt differently, though? D-R-A-U-G-H-T? No, that's the beer.

Speaker 2 Okay, so, well, HVAC and drafting, my topic there was, is it wind?

Speaker 2 Because it's the HVAC is about air conditioning, I think. And I was interpreting drafting as gaining a wind advantage, hiding behind cycles.

Speaker 2 So things we can learn from wind was already in the, but I can split that category up and find a new home for drafting. Or do you want both?

Speaker 2 I think I would have drafting because I see drafting as like architecture. The problem I have, though, Jack, is I've got architecture already in a category.
What's your category for architecture?

Speaker 2 Businesses starting with A. Oh, come on.
That's not a seminar.

Speaker 2 And what did you learn at the seminar?

Speaker 2 I learned that we've been spelling our business right.

Speaker 2 How to use your field of work starting with A to your advantage? If this is a yellow page, yellow pages listing up the front that might be included.

Speaker 2 I haven't written the whole thing, but there's numerous advantages. So, has that got does that not pass that one?

Speaker 2 I do think we're going to have to sit down before the conference and because we might have some severe double-ups.

Speaker 2 I would love to take architecture from you, and I'm willing to give you any of my boring jobs for your boring job.

Speaker 2 Is it possible you're building a mega category? Yes, maybe we get one mega category each. Oh, I'm looking to take down up to eight industries here with how to build a house.

Speaker 2 Well, I had, Jack, I have another one called big machines. Which ones might be the best for your business?

Speaker 2 And construction was a big part of big machines. Jack, I will give you HVAC and drafting.
Yep. What can you give me?

Speaker 2 I can give you some of my most favorite ones that I'm really looking forward to using. But if you want them, you can have them.
Public sector, local government.

Speaker 2 Just yell out when any of these are resonating with you. Corporate restructuring.
That sounds like you. I'll take them in boring jobs.
I'll take local government. I can do something with that.
Really?

Speaker 2 Because I've got boring jobs. I've got government and Queensland government in there.
So do you want

Speaker 2 Venza State? That's our host state. Do you want both of those? I'll tell you what, Jack.
I'll give you the two if you take another two. All right.
What are you trying to offload?

Speaker 2 Look, I've got creator and online video content.

Speaker 2 They can learn how buildings are made.

Speaker 2 Oh, I mean a lot of. Jack, are you just going to do one talk?

Speaker 2 I think I can get people love following renovations and stuff online.

Speaker 2 Jack, you've built a house. Yes.
Some of my seminar will be about how I built my house. Really? What a treat.
What about I'm struggling to position pastoral supervision. Oh, I'll take that.

Speaker 2 I've got kids' ministry. Okay, great.

Speaker 2 I'm not a religious person myself. Happy to give some tips and tricks, though.
Okay, well, I'll flick you pastoral supervision. What would you like to send me back?

Speaker 2 I think I might give you clinical psychology. Oh, Jesus.

Speaker 2 Best of luck. Okay, it doesn't neatly pack into

Speaker 2 any of my current bundles, including businesses. I think you're going to go into your seminar called Jobs Beginning with C

Speaker 2 and how to use that to your advantage?

Speaker 2 I give you ZimmerFrame manufacturing. Do you have something near the end of your talk that you might be able to put that into? Okay, okay.
We're getting food, food, food, businesses starting away.

Speaker 2 It's probably getting better than I thought, though. I think we'll be able to group these really well.
I'm very excited to hear some of these seminars.

Speaker 2 And I know if I was from another industry, I'd be interested in the crossover learnings that I can get. Why don't we continue to trade throughout the week?

Speaker 2 But trade period must end by this time next week when we've got final bundlings. And would we, by next week, have

Speaker 2 our seminar names?

Speaker 2 Yep. Yep.
Yep. Yep.
No worries. Sounds good.
A lot of work, isn't it? Oh, heaps.

Speaker 2 We're delivering here.

Speaker 2 Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.
Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.