2024 Ep 270 - Have We Been Catfished?

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a listener production.

Activate your internet.

Cause the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three,

two.

Sorry, still buffering.

One.

Ahoy to me tabula.

Hey, Mish.

Oh, yeah, I could

get behind that.

I could tabulate some things.

Ahoy to me, dry dock.

Jack, you will never find me wet.

Gross.

Come out, well, did it.

Unarousable.

Are we places you put your boat?

No,

you don't want to put your boat in one of these.

I'm the pinnacle.

In fact,

the biggest boat disaster of all time.

Oh, are these icebergs?

They are icebergs, huh?

We are type of icebergs.

A dry dock iceberg.

Yeah, an iceberg with a U-shaped slot near water level.

At least it is a dry dock.

Tabula Ham, flat-topped iceberg with the width five times greater than its height.

Very girthy iceberg.

Yeah, babe, we've had girthy slot.

You will never find me wet.

This is...

Sorry, this is not the start we wanted.

Pinnacle was the last one.

An iceberg with at least one main spiral or pyramid on it.

So which one took down the Titanic, do you think?

Pinnacle.

I reckon a pinnacle.

Yeah.

Yep.

It doesn't sound like a fabulous would have done it.

We're more kind of, we're more polar bear stuff.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

We don't do both here.

It doesn't feel like you're surprising anyone because you're so wide.

Yes, although wide and flat,

we can play tricks on people.

Ahoy also to Latoya, who used the

easy to use system at hamysandy.com to let us know what she's been up to.

Ahoy boys, Latoya here.

I've recently started reading books to my three-month-old Edison, who we affectionately call Eddie, as part of our nighttime routine.

And what better book to read him than the Power Moves Volume 2, Expensive Man Edition?

Yes.

That's right.

I purchased the book at full price.

Must be nice.

I actually feature in the book, but I must come clean.

The power move submitted under my name was actually my husband's move.

You snooze, you lose.

Eddie will certainly snooze peacefully after filling his little brain with an abundance of power, which he can assert over his baby friends at our baby playgroup.

We love listening to your pod.

Keep up the great work.

Go, Eddie.

Fantastic.

Yeah, I mean, you're going to be able to tell from a very early age that he's got social dominance in the playground.

Sample.

Absolutely.

It's one of the most important texts you can read a child.

It's still very available at Amy.

Outrageously available.

It's outrageously available because of Hawges's.

You know, Hawges went mad and did

way too books in the world.

What he was thinking.

Do you eventually pulp them?

Is that what happens with books?

You stay too long in storage?

Well, outside of the story.

I do hope not to.

It's too thick.

It's too hefty.

Yeah, but you'd go through.

You're going to have to make a pulpa.

And have that hanging over our head.

Having the pulpar's family crying by the side of the grave going, why, why did dad try and do this book?

No, Jack.

You don't do that.

You difficult.

But we're hanging out.

I mean, you do keep your fingers crossed that you get the call from, you know, Novatel or Quest or one of the big hotel chains going, we're getting rid of the Bibles and we're looking for an even more powerful book to replace it with.

Would you have many thousands of copies?

I mean, we're hitting that book.

Recent census was no religion.

Don't hundred us.

Don't hundred us.

You leave that shit on the hundred.

Just offering.

I was just offering it.

Is this on the hundreds?

It's not of the hundreds.

I was just

offering to hotel owners out there.

But what were we going to say about the census?

The most recent census,

no religion

was the most popular religion in Australia.

Yeah.

And I would say

Almove's book is sort of the Bible of no religion.

Well, exactly.

That's why I'm just saying.

If there were any hoteliers out there that needed a replacement, I think that's a very good option.

Then we're looking at a ton of lawsuits for broken bedside tables.

Oh, of course, there is a heavy book.

We would insist that it's placed on the ground next to the bed

and on lower levels only.

Yeah, with a kind of power up high in your hotel.

Anyway, we can deal with all of that off here.

Yeah, please get in contact with us and we'll happily give you some of the readily available books.

Um,

outrageously available.

The hey, concon

great news, it's sold out.

And congratulations to all those that logged on.

It's on it very quickly

to come to conference conference, a conference for all,

where we will be teaching you something about your business in an opportunity for you to fly up.

Yeah, can I just say it was a beautiful, for the economy, really, and there's a link here, it inspired me for the state of Australia's economy that we have.

workers in this country who are so hungry to better themselves on the professional front that it's sold out within one hour.

There's obviously, people are starving to be better at their jobs.

And that's just good news for Australia.

Yeah, I agree.

Hey,

there has been a fair bit of clerical stuff happening this week.

More admin than usual.

And you've even been pulled into admin.

But Jacko,

we've got a letter from a very interesting letterhead.

Now, I suppose

for people that have been following the ConCon journey,

receiving,

would you call it fan mail or more just a letter?

I think this isn't, I i wouldn't call this fan mail

usually that's what you call correspondence to a show but i agree ando i'm just from the ato yeah it is from the australian tax office themselves yes the our good friends at the ato can i say that very very good friends the good folk the good folk at the ato the acting deputy commissioner is actually and it came in a lovely letterhead jacket with the australian government embroidered on the top and the the penmanship and the phrase like it was just a great letter highlighting a well

just a well put together letter highlighting a few aspects that they have concerns about okay fair enough we're an open show we'd love a good conversation let me just highlight a couple of parts from this quite long letter andy's decided he's gonna be the one that that sort of addresses this because tell him about your year 12 stuff i i won the prize for accounting in year 12.

okay so we've got problems sort of sending andy we're sort of andy's our point man here because it's like listen we're all i think we're we are all actually on the same page the ato the hamishaney show we are all essentially want the same thing, which is A, as we've mentioned, the country to get stronger through learning.

And B, everyone to do the right thing.

That's the whole point of ComCon is to play by the rules

that the ATO has laid out.

So we're all on the same team, but Andy speaks the language because he has accounting.

An appropriately tax-deductible conference.

That's what we're looking at.

Mind you, Jack.

During the week, I've had a number of conversations about the Hamish and I as things were flying back and forth from lawyers to ATO people, etc.

But also very good natured too.

And that's again,

anyone that's been to relationship counseling will say you keep the chat up.

You keep the chat up and it actually makes you a better couple.

I think we can come out the back of this with the ATO we're a stronger couple.

Flying back and forth doesn't necessarily mean bad.

That could be very exciting.

It could be a compliment spiral.

I'm not saying it was, but I'm saying that is an example of a conversation.

You're right, Jack, that flies back and forth where you get into a bit of a compliment spiral.

Amish at one point rang me during the week, Jack, and goes, anyway, you know, we're forging forthcon con.

I just thought it was a great idea of yours.

And I'm like, no.

When things looked a little bit legal, I thought it would be nice to get him on the record.

Because don't you remember, Jack Andy was like,

I do remember that.

I think it's a great idea.

It's great.

We're happy to play along with your idea.

Yeah, we're happy to play along with your idea.

But, you know, you are the ringleader.

And

as I wrote in my journal that night, which I can show you and is David, Andy came up with a good idea today.

I asked you on the phone,

send me a picture of your journal immediately.

And I tried.

And as I said, my phone, unfortunately, was frozen at the time, but I was trying my hardest.

And I put it in the mail.

Anyway, I remembered it differently.

Anyway, that's why you got this journey.

Let's start with a few things from the letter that I think are fair.

I think are fair.

First up,

the phrase,

the conference is so nice, you can deduct it twice.

And that is, there are some things you can do.

Problematic for the ATO.

And you definitely understand, especially if they saw that written down and they didn't understand it was, that's more of a turn of phrase rather than financial advice, which we're not giving.

We've never given.

We can't give.

As we always say, please speak to your local tax professional.

Find them, talk to them, take them out for coffee, get to know each other.

You must.

You must.

You must.

You simply must.

And they're a great person to talk to.

Yes.

Whoever they are, get to know them.

Not ask for tax advice.

Can we update that, Ham?

I said.

100%.

These are some of the gives.

Yeah.

No dramas.

Because if that isn't bothering you, I can see why.

As I, when I said to Zoe, oh, I think they have a problem with the jingle.

She went, I can see why they would have a problem with the jingle.

There's no such thing that you can deduct twice.

It just had that feeling to me.

I made the mistake of putting my feelings in a song about financial concepts.

So that's a good lesson for me.

I have updated it because of course you can't deduct anything twice.

That's one of their, you know, I was going to say one of their preferred, they'd prefer you not to.

Not just prefer, it's the law.

Yeah.

So

anyway, here's the new jingle.

There's a cool new conference, no matter your beers.

Come on, come on.

The conference's so nice, you can deduct it once at a maximum.

Can't stress it enough.

Perfect.

Perfect.

And that's once at a maximum.

At a maximum.

Yes.

We'll get to that.

We'll proportionate deduction.

We'll get to that.

They said in, this is, I'm trying to paraphrase because, again, there was a long list of

document.

But

falsifying invoices from personal expenses is not allowed.

We weren't encouraging that, though.

Well, Jack, they go on to say.

I think I might have, Jack.

I thought it was one I think I might have.

This includes arranging a food truck to be available to expend food items purchased are recorded on receipts as offer stationery.

So they have been listening.

They have listened.

Which is not, we appreciate all listeners.

We do.

It's not the bit that could be confused with the compliment spiral.

So what do we do about the food truck?

Well, we just have a food truck that's non-deductible and it just sells food.

That's yeah.

That's going to have to be labeled as food.

Yeah, that's just going to have to be some personal human food, traditional style,

traditional style, non-deductible food.

Yeah.

And that's fine.

That's fine.

That's just going to be

to know that if you are an attendee at ConCon, yes, again, we got carried away.

Someone sent in that idea that it had been, that someone in America had done that, which is just, again, come on, guys.

That's not funny.

Shame on you.

Some American did that.

And I think in jest, we floated the idea of doing that.

But again, as we have learnt, talking to our friends, you can float things.

Yeah.

And

icebergs, you can sink things i just think

we're not going to do we're not have we're not going to have food trucks are we yes i think they they said something about that is like that you know just that's there's really no two ways about that one that's just going to be a fraud if you give out cellar burrito and say it was staples you know like yeah fraud's actually one of the things we're trying to avoid here we're absolutely 100 against that yeah and there's plenty of food in the gold coast that people can eat 100 heaps go off and you'll be full from the biscuits so it's kind of

sort of stupid we were offering food in the first place because on the biscuit side of things like I don't want to set up whole new avenues but I'm saying from our perspective Ando if we if we do have to purchase a lot of biscuits to feed people at our conference on our side of the fence is that an expense yeah yeah that's fine you can deduct that once

that's what i thought Because from my angle, there still will be tax-deductible food just on our side of the fence because we're providing biscuits to people.

I just would like to actually introduce the phrase now once you're going through your tax return and go, now can I deduct that once?

See how many times it takes until your accountant says, you don't need to keep saying once.

Once is actually the maximum.

We don't need to keep clarifying.

Hey, this is the more.

Well, not continuing.

This is the part that we just need to really reiterate, not to our listeners, but to the Australian Taxation Office.

Yes.

I hope they don't mind that we're going back through the form of podcast rather than letter.

That'll be fine.

Great.

I realise so much of this as I was just assuming the mood of the tax office.

The vibe seems high.

It's in good spirits.

No, it is in great spirits.

We do have to stress that the letter is in very, very good spirits.

Chummy.

No, professional, but there was a chummy undertone.

Absolutely.

There is significant risk of encouraging taxpayers to claim a tax deduction that they're not entitled to.

This is because the dominant dominant purpose of the conference seminar, of course, appears to be for non-work purposes, that is, personal entertainment or leisure.

False.

False.

I am shocked at that.

I am a little bit shocked at that because that sounds to me like they've gone, oh, you guys are just going to go and have fun and say it was a conference.

No, no, that's not what we're doing.

Can't be clear enough about this.

The conference, the whole point that we've gone to this effort, Ando, the whole point of the conference is to give people not just an educational

two sessions well three at the moment yeah three possibly two depending on what the vibe's like but still two full sessions of education about your specific industry and here's I've come up with the theme for the for the conference right because people have to tell us exactly what their job is and then we divvy it up between the three of us we have to present so we make sure everyone's job is covered the theme is how to make your business better with Hamish Andy and Jack.

We will make everyone's we'll we'll give you concrete ideas, no matter your industry, that you can take away and we will improve your business.

Now, looking at some of the entrants that have come in, we've got someone that's in like hydraulic engineering.

Jack, I know that's a passion of yours.

We've got telecommunications.

We've got, you know,

just general leadership.

I mean, everyone can use that.

That's what the conference will be about.

So we will be working our backsides off to make

so educational.

We're going to have educational content coming out our friggin' ears.

That might be the biggest complaint.

Too educational with the conference.

Now, can I say this, Andy?

And I'm just floating this with you now.

You're the accountant.

You tell me if I can say this or not.

The ticket price that people have paid will cover the majority of that, I would like it to be known, is going into the conference.

All of it.

All of it, right?

So that's what you're paying for.

You're paying for the conference.

Now, there's no rule against enjoying yourself as you walk into.

there's no tax rule against enjoying a conference, is there?

No, no, you can enjoy it.

Yeah.

Well, the text can't go, did you, you know, oh, you're a doctor.

You went to Hawaii and learned about x-rays.

Yes, I did.

Did you enjoy it?

Oh, I had fun.

Oh, not a deduction.

No, no.

You can enjoy learning.

Absolutely.

I think

you actually learn better when you're enjoying yourself.

Yes, and I agree, Jack.

And now, that doesn't mean it's more deductible.

In past episodes, I might have said there's your double deduction, but it's not.

No.

It's not that.

But you can certainly enjoy yourself.

yes now if we are saying come and have some free enjoyment

but some conference that you've paid for

that seems like that's that's that seems like you've well that's just to make i hear i hear what you're talking about i hear what you're saying let's make it really clear the conference and the educational parts that's what everyone's paying for enjoyment's free

it's a real it's a real legitimate conference we're throwing that we're throwing enjoyment and on the house yeah you can't stop someone from just chucking in enjoyment on the house yeah And so we will work very hard to make sure that that is the case and tax deductible.

What about this, Ando?

Because we know that there's, what did they say about the proportion bit?

They're like, you know, you've got to, there's proportionality.

Yeah, so tax deductions are proportional.

We should make that very clear.

You can never, nothing's ever fully tax deductible.

It's proportional.

So it's your educational versus leisure.

So if someone goes up there and goes and plays golf, the leisure part's not tax deductible.

If you don't attend the conference, you're in big trouble.

You have to attend the conference.

So if you, but this is all the stuff then you take to your tax professional.

We can't tell you what bit is, you take all of the information provided and you give it to your tax professional.

Now they're going to say, what was the conference like?

And you're going to go bloody educational.

Actually, I've learned heaps about hydraulic engineering.

Yep.

That makes sense.

Then they'll go, oh, hang on a sec.

What about the welcome drinks on the Friday night?

And this is what I was thinking, Ando.

Like, oh, well, that was actually the rule that Hamish and Andy introduced where you had to meet 10 people and tell them something about your industry that they could apply to their industry.

So it's actually a very educational welcome drinks.

And registration was that day as well.

So you wouldn't have been able to get into the conference.

We had to go to that bit.

Anyway, we're not making the call.

And I'm just saying this is all the information that you can give to your registered tax professional.

They're in your, everyone's got one, get to know them, go for a walk with them,

meet them, go and have a, have a simple bowl of gnocchi and float some of these ideas past them.

They've been trained in this stuff.

Andy's just a year 12 accountant.

You can't actually give financial advice.

But I think we've addressed it.

I mean, I think we've addressed it.

I think, as I said, we're all on the same page here.

We're trying to better Australia.

Okay.

We're trying to make Australia smarter, make them better at their jobs.

And I commend the people that stepped up, sold this out in one hour to go, yeah,

this country's good, but could we know more?

Nice.

Well done, Hank.

Play the jingle again, Jack.

Credit to your businesses.

There's a cool new conference, no matter your beers.

Come on, come on.

Third conference so nice you can deduct it once at a maximum.

Can't stress it enough.

Very clear.

We're learning.

Haim, part of listening to this show is just knowing that you're becoming a superior being when it comes to social situations because this is where power moves live.

This is where we consume them.

And this is where we take them out to the world.

When we've learnt them, we should jump into into another batch.

Yeah, go for it.

From Josh, it feels like a power move.

I'm going to tell you the scenario, and then I want us to try and unpack it.

Okay, great.

If you're in an event or party with your parents, introduce them as your biological parents.

Now,

is that on them?

Who's the power move on?

Well, that's what I'm talking about.

I guess it's kind of on the parents.

Is it suggesting that they didn't upbring him up?

Yeah, we're sort of going, these are my biological parents.

Yeah, which sort of, you know, you would be like, but

I've got adoptive parents who put all the work in.

Yeah.

They'd be sitting there going, yeah, but we also did that.

So it would be nice to get a bit of the credit.

It does make the assumption that you've got other parents, does it?

It does.

It does.

And in that case, usually with the adoptive parents, they're the ones that are like, well, we've done, you know.

eight ten years.

They're the ones that the kid sees as the parent.

So yeah, it's a good, it's a good little distancing power move.

Nice work.

This is from Lewis.

Power move was done to me by my best mate.

Whenever I was out on the town, if I was talking to a girl, my best mate would come up and tell them, Hey, fun fact, this guy has no underarm hair.

I either denied this, making myself look desperate and a liar, or I'd have to lift up my shirt to prove to this girl that I did, in fact, have underarm hair.

And then I lost any chance going forward.

What a fun fact.

This is from Lachlan.

Pam, how many for you all?

In a group dress-up situation.

Right.

Tell everybody in the costume it's a certain type of party, but then dress up as their leader.

Yeah, that's not bad.

So if it's a soldier's party, go as the colonel.

If it's an umpaumpa's party, go as Willy Walker.

It'd be really good.

You know,

it reminds me a couple of weeks ago,

whenever book week was, which was some time ago now.

But did you notice this year there was grown-ups dressing up for book?

I've never really seen adults do book week.

Like, I saw workplaces and stuff do.

Sure, they were the teachers?

Teachers?

No, no, no, you're teaching our radio station at Gold 104, the sales team dressed up on the Friday.

Is that just me or was that the first time it's happened this year, right?

Yeah, I was with a mate having breakfast.

That's not great, is it?

We're not participating in that.

Well, we were having breakfast, right?

We look over the road and like, we're just sort of in a suburban area.

There's some office buildings around.

And it was like, you know, such and such, like KLJ logistics or something, like a pretty nondescript building.

And like 10 people come piling out of the building at like 10 o'clock in the morning, all dressed up in costumes.

And then we're like, What's this?

It's like a Mad Monday or something.

Like, what is going on here?

And it was like, no, I think it's book week.

Like, but they're grown-ups, and it's got nothing to do with their workplace, it has nothing to do with children.

I'm not saying books aren't fantastic at any age.

No, but they came together.

We're not wearing Easter bonnets.

You're not doing an Easter bonnet parade in the workplace, workplace.

I get to wear casual clothes every day.

I'm not bringing a gold coin every time I wear jeans.

So

they came across the road and we were like, so first of all, like, you know, guys, what is this?

Like, yeah, it's book week.

We thought we'd all dress up.

We're like, okay, fair enough.

There's like a Thor or Wonder Woman and stuff, you know.

But that's, again, that's not book.

They're loose interpretations.

Loose interpretations of books.

But then, this was the bit I was going to, this relates to the power move.

I was like, I wanted to ask a critical question because there was one guy, so they're all like having fun.

You know, there's like 10 of them, like kind of vaguely superheroes.

There was a pippy longstocking, there was like a big bloke as pippy longstocking.

Then there was a guy who's in one of those inflatable dinosaur outfits.

Oh, yes.

But it's not a cutout for the head.

So you're not, it's, it's, you're inside the inflatable and you have to look through a plastic panel.

Okay.

And he was completely

like completely cut off from the social interactions because he's in a little cage.

He was like a little lizard in a terrarium, like looking out at the cafe while everyone's having fun and having their coffee.

He's just stuck behind this little perspex panel.

And he's holding a coffee with his little T-Rex arms, but he's got to wait till he goes back to the office to drink that.

And so that was like, if this, if the costumes have been assigned, that is a huge power move

on like on Damien or whoever it is.

And I said, it's like, did you guys get to pick your outfits or were they given out?

Because the look on his face said, maybe given out, but they said they picked.

Well, the look.

Which leads me to believe that maybe the look on Damien's face was like, I've made a huge mistake.

I put myself in a hazmat bubble and everyone else is having a fun day.

Oh, watch your step.

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And a special skill time.

Been a while this is a this is a bit of an interactive one we've actually we actually did it earlier joe came from adelaide yeah as you're about to hear it required space and yeah it required a young man to come very early cheapest cheapest absolute cheapest available thing it might have even been an an unbranded cargo flight did you from adelaide don't know this and but um when he got to the airport carly said a little nod His ticket didn't exist, so he paid for his flight on the day and we have to reimburse you.

It's a new load

for the show.

A new low.

An absolute new low for a prize winner on the show.

Yes.

However, we're grateful for Joe.

Joe came across.

He made it.

But look, most of the

best golfers in the world have to get themselves to the tournaments.

Exactly what I was thinking.

Same with tennis players.

They have to get themselves to the tournaments.

Not included.

It's not included.

It's not included.

You don't go, hey, we'd love you to play in the Australian Open.

Please fund and close two business last tickets.

Absolutely not.

Get yourself there.

Maybe we don't reimburse him.

I think we're making an argument here for the no reimburse.

So, Joe, if you're listening and wondering where that money was, it was decided after you left the building that we wouldn't be reimbursing.

But this is a great skill.

A longtime KFC employee, he said, quite simply, using tongs, and he bought his own, using tongs, I can throw.

drumstick portions of KFC into the large bins they have back of house at KFC.

With tongs, mate, it was, I think that was going to be the hard part with tongs.

So we'll get into it in more detail.

That was the loose bit.

Of course, we need an opener for every

special skill.

I was happy to take the reins on this one and lay this down to see you know all about Joe.

Baby use those tongues.

Come on, Joe, let the KFC go.

Baby boy, you know we just want to see you use those tongue to tongue tongue tongs.

It's good.

It's actually really good.

Were you surprised?

You just looked for surprise there when you heard that.

Why?

Because Mashi had some work to do to form that into a song he's just done it

he's he has absolutely behaved with honor there he's done a great job this is how the special skill went down

this is exciting joe welcome oh boy well state it again joe wrote in using tongs i can throw chicken drumsticks into bins from a reasonable distance

any reasonable distance sorry i've worked at kfc for five years and I'm yet to miss.

Yet to miss is huge.

Are you sure?

Because we do have people come on and then they go, actually, maybe I was just remembering the good times, but you're yet to miss.

Yet to miss with drumsticks.

Yes.

Other pieces might go haywire, chips might go on the floor, but drumsticks are always the perfect rest.

So it's like the uniform weight of the drumsticks.

Yeah.

Can I just ask as someone that hasn't worked back of house at KFC myself, why are you chucking the chicken in bins so often?

Well, being a shift supervisor, we do some closes and it gets to 12 o'clock and you're throwing the chicken out that you didn't sell.

Gotcha.

And then you just chuck it straight out.

Yeah, that's my Macca's days.

There was also a certain amount of time that was allowed to sit in the Bay-Marie kind of thing.

Yeah, that's true.

You should point out we're talking very, very early 2000s, if not late 90s here.

So

times have changed.

You know, but that's still the same.

So you still throw out chicken if it's sitting there for too long.

My wife throws it out after five seconds in the house.

So I'm surprised she's ever eaten any chicken because like before it's cooked, is that getting spoiled?

And then after it's cooked, get rid of it.

Like, so it's a scary meat.

And you do have to be careful.

But it gets boring just picking the tray up and throwing it all at it when one goes.

So me and the friends, we just started tossing it and just started going in.

Now, you do leave a mime there, and it was almost an overhand toss.

I would have assumed it's under.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's over.

Wow.

This is why we do this.

This is why you get people in.

Part of the sports.

Yeah, it's part of the sport.

And by the way, are we the tongs okay?

Yeah, the tongs are regulation.

So these are official patients.

Did we give you those or did you bring them in?

No, I brought them in.

Good, good, Good.

Still had a special pair.

So great.

Like an archer with his own bow and arrows.

Yeah.

All right.

We've set up three different distances here.

We've said 50 reasonable distance.

That word reasonable, if we're at a court of law, is the key part.

That's why I put it in there.

Yes.

Because obviously you're never going to need...

There's no KFC kitchen that's 50 metres wide.

You don't need to do giant throws.

There's three bins each with increasing difficulty.

Bins you put leaves in in the garden, would you say, Herm?

Yeah, I think they're from Lummings.

Yeah.

Are they at 56?

i have 56 i have 56 litres that seems way too i reckon i'd put that at like 90 litres yeah i would say so for bid number three is that gettable we feel that's reasonable yeah i got that i got that amy wow because andy before you came in and were setting up andy's like no no no like that doesn't seem reasonable

you think that's reasonable uh yeah i think i got that distance last night with a smaller bin so i

i don't want to talk too big of a game but i i think i think i'll be all right did you go to kfc to breakfast or did you buy chicken and throw it away?

I bought some chicken, just started slinging it at home.

It was a rainy day last night, so it's just under the forge.

Great.

Who do you live with?

My parents, they actually weren't too happy.

They said, you've got to go outside in the rain.

So

are you hoping to do it inside?

Yeah, but kitchen's just been redone, so not allowed.

This is the origin story of all great heroes.

This is the stuff that we don't see.

Yeah.

You know, the training in the rain, you know, the relentless pursuit of excellence.

And when they eventually do the commercial for it, where we look back at a young Joe, we'll see this.

Yeah, and you were just there.

I'll say, I told you.

Under the forge with the rainbows.

Yeah, I wasn't thinking about gold medals at the International Chicken Throwing Championships.

I was just doing what I loved.

I was doing what I loved, and it led me here.

Okay, so if you're fine with the one that is like six and a half meters away.

I'm okay with that.

Then you're going to be fine with the one that's three and a half.

And then we've got one in the middle that sits around four and a half.

Yeah.

What we want to see is two out of three.

Yeah.

You can go in any order you want.

Two out of three, you get a coin.

Hey, Mishnow will be in the commentary position over there.

It's an interesting one, isn't it?

Two out of three.

Because you do say I'm yet to miss.

And I don't think three is an eight coin coin.

Here's how I see it.

I think two out of three, you've got a coin.

Yeah.

But I expect three out of three.

Three out of three, you've got a coin with great, with honor.

Yeah.

Two out of three, you've got yourself a coin, and I will respect it.

Yes.

Here we go.

We'll go to the commentary position.

Annie and I have seated ourselves between the furthest two bins.

So we now have a bit of an arena situation where we're facing Joe.

Joe has a box full of how many drumsticks would you say are in there, Joe?

Be about 16 chickens in there.

Bang on.

Bang up.

We obviously wanted to give you an array of ones to choose from.

They were all drumsticks.

We had to take the breasts and the other pieces out, the five pieces out.

Yeah.

All right, in your own time, but hopefully pretty soon.

Joe,

are you a lefty?

Yeah, I'm a lefty.

He's a molly duka.

Oh, and I don't know why that.

I mean, sure, you should do it with your favoured arm.

Yeah.

It makes it look even crazier.

Okay, Joe.

And you want a good-looking drumstick as well.

I was talking up to you, it's about the weight he's looking, pouring through the bucket now.

Just good tongue's work, isn't it?

He's been around chicken.

I notice you're using the top.

You often you go for the right down the bottom of the drumstick.

Okay, now you're holding him the meaty a bit.

Now he's contacting.

He's overthinking it.

Made his heart.

He could stick at any point.

He's gone the conventional grip you would expect, which is gripping the bone part.

It's almost hammer throw-like, where he's got the bottom, but the ball's at the top.

He's just making sure it's loaded.

He's got a side-on stance.

He's just lowering his heart rate now.

He raises.

Way deep.

He should buy a meat over the top.

Now you obviously put that down to excitement.

Jeez.

What do you put that down to, Joe?

Adrenaline?

To be honest, it's a little bit too close.

It's too close.

It's too close.

It's too close.

This is exciting.

Do you not shoot him that close?

That would have been regulation distance for KFC, but practice I thought, gee, I think they're going to make me throw it a fire.

So I was glad to see it.

Glad to see you.

Abby mind.

Add your mind.

Good range finder.

You know the weight of the chicken now.

Yep.

He's picking out another piece.

I'm not confident.

I am.

I am.

I am confident.

I think you found the range now.

Can you hear us?

Yeah,

just whispering.

We're in a completely quiet room, so he can hear you.

He can't hear the commentation.

He's now shaking a little bit now.

Here we go.

He's a raised.

He has sailed a little deep again.

And a little right.

Oh, no.

So.

Okay.

Now we're in an interesting area.

Dangerous water.

What time did you get up this morning to fly to Sydney?

It's about 5.30.

Didn't sleep on the flight.

So now, now.

Look, the arc.

The arc you're getting is beautiful.

It's okay.

Yeah.

The arc you're getting is beautiful.

Would you like to go back to number one to figure out?

I'm guaranteed the ones in confidence.

Or would you like to do number three now, by far the furthest away?

I think it's almost seven meters.

And in one fell sweep, you'd be like, okay, I got one and I finished on a high because I got the hardest one.

It was a lot of respect.

Oh, I'll go to the big one.

He's got a big one.

One foul.

Chicken foul.

One foul.

Okay, Joe.

Same side.

Now just to not be the Simpsons guy.

He's got to be thinking to himself, okay, this is not where I wanted to end up.

It's where I am.

Oh,

it ripped out.

Ripped out.

I loved a lot of things about the throw.

Wasn't he exceptional?

But he did.

He was the speed at which you got in.

He didn't look at us.

Yep.

He settled himself, turned through.

That is obviously his method.

Would you like to have one more go at that?

Just for chits and giggles.

We've got a lot of chicken.

Yeah, yeah.

Just felt good.

I was back at KFC and I was throwing stuff out and it just felt all right.

Because it's like, you know, we have a limit, of course, on how much golf content we put in the show.

But if you're over the ball for too long, that's a night.

It's not where you want to be.

You're thinking about everything.

So just getting back into that.

Have fun with it.

Have fun with it.

Get back into that fluid.

Having fun.

End of the shift.

Going home.

Gonna sneak into the house.

Not wake up, mum and dad, play some PS4.

Great night ahead.

Nah, he's overthought it again.

Send me home.

Send me home.

It actually resembled the flight of a chicken.

They kind of get off the ground and then they die pretty quickly.

That was.

Just too much overthinking.

There wasn't at the end.

We wanted you to have fun with it.

And it just...

That didn't look like any fun.

Were you you excited i should check were you having fun uh a little bit um

when it when when first first time i threw that one i thought i've got it here

but i saw you do you do a couple of fake outs and then like what was going through your mind there just i just figured um that's not how i would throw it yeah and you just

and then i just thought i don't want to do this and i just i'll do this just so we can get an idea oh great ain't gonna show us how easy or hard it is the comparison there oh there you go

they're lighter than you think Hard, mate.

That's not what would have done it.

Yeah.

Now we're just throwing chicken around the back, pop the wall.

No, it's hard.

It's hard.

It's hard either.

Joe, we'll give you a token of no value.

Oh, it's more than I deserve.

No, look, I think you did.

You still acted with honor, and I just like the way you did gather yourself for that final shot.

And it did have, it had, like, speaking of the Olympics, it really had the air pistol stance to it in that side on.

That side on.

Maybe you you need one of the little glasses with the punch on it.

Joe, thanks for making the signpost.

You're welcome.

Thanks for coming across the country.

No, you can nearly get some chicken in a bin.

Guys, I know we're in a bit of a holding pattern on this, but there's something I'm...

I fear will be a peter out.

But I'm passionate about trying to keep it in the show.

And that's, of course, our two and a half second undressing man.

Oh,

have we ever fanned something?

It's like with the embers going out on the ground.

I know.

We're doing our job.

We're doing our job.

We fan this, to bring this back.

We want this so much more than he seems to want to.

I also think this is what is the perplexing thing about this case is we've given it, we've allowed it.

We actually, with our blessing, we let it Peter out and it roared back.

I feel like we keep sort of saying, okay, that's...

That's maybe it's just not meant to be.

Because it occurred to me and Andy this morning, Jacko,

we've never talked to the guy.

We've talked to Angie, his girlfriend.

His girlfriend, yes.

So two days ago, Jack,

we asked for a proof of life from

we're not really being catfished because we're like, nothing's happened yet.

It's not like we've seen, we all send pictures of us naked and then we're like, all right, hang on a sec, nothing's coming back.

But we're like,

you know what if they had asked for that.

It's the kind of thing we would have fallen for, I think, due to the excitement.

For him to feel comfortable taking off all his clothes in front of you, can you please just send through you guys?

And then we find that's just some other podcast that's just having a ball going, we've been scamming a mission for months.

And it seems legit like Angie keeps coming back.

And she's the girlfriend and she keeps going, no, no, no, it's all good.

He's just been away.

Like he was sick.

He was away.

Yeah, yeah.

Then he lost confidence.

But could he do the, did he, did he do the proof of life?

No.

No.

So two days ago, Jack, we said, can you just send through a one-sentence voice memo?

That's all we need.

Just proof of life.

I exist and I can do it.

I exist and I can do it.

That's all we wanted to know.

Yeah.

Just something from Liam.

She wrote back, ha ha ha.

Do you think I've made him up?

Starting to.

Starting to.

And then it's gone silent.

Okay.

We haven't heard.

Now, that is also strange because if she had made him up, it is easy enough to get some guy to go, hi, I'm Liam and I'm the guy.

That's true because

in all the like catfishing documentaries we've all watched, they go to great lengths to kind of like, this would be an easy trick to play.

Just get your brother to do it or something.

So the fact that she hasn't done it, the fact that it's like, ha ha, no, no, no, it's all good.

Now I'm back going, he does exist.

He just is.

There's just a nervousness to it.

Look, we're running out of year.

The runway is shrinking.

Do I think he'll come on stage and get nude at ConCon?

Probably not.

Even though that would be an amazing highlight and an amazing climax to the conference, I forgot to blindfolded it.

Or

he's...

Because it was Andy that he chose last week, wasn't it?

For

that he was safest to do it in front of Andy.

Even on stage at ComCon, we could have Andy and Liam behind a curtain.

Wow.

And Andy's got a microphone saying, what I am witnessing is incredible.

I wish you could see it, but it is happening.

Just as far as conferences go, do they, you know, like, I'm not sure if I've been to one where they just stop for a bit of light entertainment or to see someone do a

magic trick or a feat.

Oh, they do it all the time.

You got to get the vibe up at a conference.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Yep.

Well, that is an option.

I wasn't actually thinking we get him at ConCon.

Something occurred to me the other day.

I was hopping out of the shower and I was like, I'm kicking myself.

I didn't think of this earlier.

Yes.

You guys came over for dinner a little while ago and I actually meant to bring this up at the time.

In my bathroom at home, there's a skylight that kind of goes into a tunnel that, you know, so like the light's quite quite way above the ceiling or whatever.

So it sort of goes skylight, tunnel, and then the light comes into the bathroom.

Yep.

Something about that lighting, if I may, be honest here.

makes the human form look incredible in the mirror.

Really?

It's the most flattering lighting somehow in the world.

I think it's like it's natural.

It's downlighting.

It's kind of

spotlight.

You get all these contours in areas.

There's shadow underneath and there is some making it.

And there's a pale guy with, you know, struggles to have any definition.

You go, oh my God, the shadows, it's incredible.

Like you look.

I'm going to say 10 to 20% more jacked than in any other scenario, right?

So it's a huge confidence booster.

I was actually going to offer to you guys.

I was like, look, not for the podcast, not to be recorded, but would you guys like to come over to my house early and look at yourselves in the mirror?

I would have loved that.

Jack, I know you, you know,

if you sent that photo to Frank, he'd be like, whoa, baby boy, look at what I've done.

Who's Frank?

Frank's my personal trainer.

I'm sorry, the personal.

Not Stallone.

Why are we sending photos to a guy called Frank?

Personal trainer?

We always do, mate.

You go home early, but me and Jack are always sending photos to Frank.

Yeah.

Anyway, so I'm kicking myself.

So you're thinking he could go in there and

the thought occurred to me, I was like, look, this mirror can make anyone feel good about their body.

Like, it just is a huge confidence.

He doesn't do the act in there.

He might.

That's what I'm saying.

He needs a bed.

But he needs the bed to lie back on.

Can you fit a bed in there?

All right.

What about this?

He comes over to our house.

You're in there with him, Andy.

Like, if he still wants me banned for whatever reason, I'll go and wait in the corridor.

He can get naked first, I suppose, and go and look at himself in the mirror as a pump-up.

Yep.

So he feels great about himself.

That's a a good idea.

Then he reclothes, comes back out to the bedroom, does it on our bed?

And we'll have to run past though that we're going to have a nude man on our bed.

Not what I had anticipated.

But the power of this mirror.

I always want to get you guys back over to have a quick look at yourselves in it.

Happily.

And Liam, if you exist or if you're listening, that's the offer.

That's the offer.

That's the offer.

Come to my house, use the power of the mirror.

He might, and it might completely change his conference.

He might go, okay, okay you all three of you can have a look at me do this

if that's what i'm working with now like it

thanks for listening the hamish and andy podcast will return next week catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com

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