2024 Ep 269 - Three Man Fact Shootout

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Because the Hey Mission Andy podcast starts in three,

two.

Sorry, still buffering.

One.

Ahoy to me looping.

Hey Mission.

Okay.

I'll yeah, I'll get back around to you.

Why?

Because I'm always looping.

Ahoy to me, double hand, Jack.

Okay.

Is this tennis shots?

Oh, you're in there on.

I'm an off-string.

Are we some kind of lasso?

Lasso?

Lasso?

No.

Off-string, looping, double-hand.

I feel like you were into this back in the day, Ham.

Is it some kind of motorbike trick?

Like a corn...

Like on a Harley?

Yo-yoing.

Oh, yo-yoing.

The different styles of yo-yoing.

Yeah, the mine's not catching it again.

It just comes back around and flips back out.

Double hand involves two yo-yo's, one in each hand, and off-string.

Probably the rarest style of yo-yoing, where the string is not attached to the yo-yo.

How does it work?

That is rare.

And there's no string or yo-yo.

Often referred to as mime yo-yoing.

Well, I think

it says here it involves disconnecting the yo-yo from the string, string, so it enters into free force spinning and then catching it with the string.

Wow.

That's true.

So you flick it up.

Yeah, but maybe you had to hold the string tight and it kind of lands back on the string.

Yeah,

and it spins back up.

Yeah.

Wow.

Ahoy also to Oscar, who's in Switzerland and he has used the very easy-to-use system.

Hamishmen.com and tell us what he's been up to.

Ahoy, Hamish, Andy, and

Jack.

Yeah, sorry, that one almost got away from me.

I'm currently traveling through Switzerland with my fiancée.

I know, must be nice.

And I thought you'd like to know a fun little fact I found out.

Toblerone has decided to move most of its manufacturing to Slovakia, so they can no longer call their chocolate Swiss-made.

Looks like the Swiss couldn't even handle the sharp corners of a Toblerone.

Have a good day, boys.

And good luck to the Slovaks, maybe.

Maybe they be up to the challenge.

Yeah, happy to take on the risk.

So do they have to put the thing now in Tobleron's that like Apple products have?

Or it's like, you know, designed in California.

Made in China.

I think that's exactly what they're doing.

Conceived in Switzerland.

Made in Switzerland.

Yeah.

Inspired by Switzerland.

Yeah.

Everyone inspiver.

Yep.

Thank you, Oscar.

You'd be happy.

The pressure continues to mount on your nervous system.

They can make as many Toblerons as they want.

I just wouldn't choose it as a chocolate that I would eat.

Okay.

Today we start with this.

There's a cool new conference, no matter your beers.

Come on, come on.

The conference's so nice you can deduct it twice.

Not entirely.

But

we've got, I mean, we've got a huge news today.

Everyone knows when it is.

We'll announce that the tickets will be on sale

tomorrow.

I'll announce that now.

We're recording this, yeah.

We're not doing a meeting anymore, are we?

Tickets Tickets are on sale as of midnight tonight.

Hang on.

Do it properly.

That was over talking.

So you tease that you're going to announce it.

Tickets are on sale as of midnight tonight.

Wow, the announcement we've been waiting minutes for.

Tickets do go on sale midnight tonight at hamishander.com.

Hamishander.com, $199

is the price.

And that obviously includes the welcome drinks.

And that's two hours of drinking in that.

Yep.

Yep.

And then the next day um we have as we discussed um biscuits for an hour followed by the

one hour of tea coffee and biscuits so there's a huge value there morning session then there's the network then there's a savory meal more morning tea back in for the second session yep then there's lunch where you'll be able to buy food from a food truck that will only invoice food that sounds seems like office items yeah so dim Sim will be renamed Stapler or something like that.

Yeah.

Six pack of pens or something.

And then back in for the afternoon session, which at this stage looks like it's absolutely green lit to go ahead.

That is a three-hour session.

Yeah.

Organizers do reserve the right on the day, depending on mood, to make an on the on the run call to see if that's unstructured networking.

Yes.

At this stage, it looks like that afternoon session is looking absolutely bang on.

AAA green lit.

Yeah.

so get your colleagues or I mean if just go with your wife or your partner obviously it's a conference for all

but they would need they would need to have a business reason for attending so of course when you go to the tickets you do have to tell us what your job is um what field you're in what what area you would like to learn more in

and so we can because at the conference we will be we'll be hitting every single person's profession that is in attendance.

That's why it's a tax deduction because we have specifically addressed your career and your professional goals.

Yep.

Conference for all.

Conference for all.

So you will need to be able to fill out that.

And then I'm keen, and I think, Andy, you've got an update for this now.

I'm keen for on the form where you fill out to get your tickets as well to put down your biscuit preference

and your estimated quantity of biscuits.

You think you could ingest in that one-hour biscuit window because

we're being charged $5 a head for biscuits and my maths puts that at about one full assorted pack um of high quality biscuits per person you guys asked me to follow up on this with Sally from Royal Pines during the week I have done that and we won't listen to the callers full because I think there's discussion points throughout with regards to this biscuit situation And so, yeah, I talked about a number of things with Sally.

I talked about staging, whether it has a ramp or stairs, because I think you had planned to wear robotic boots at some point.

You said the ramp was extra.

What?

Yeah.

I said, look, I think you should be able to walk upstairs in them.

Can you?

I can.

Yeah, easily.

I just swivel my foot 90 degrees to the right, puts it in lock mode, walk up the stairs and just very simply swivel my foot again, reactivate some, and I can walk across the stage.

How easy.

That sounds easy.

I also said if the third session wasn't to go ahead, obviously very unlikely, how close was the golf course?

She said, one minute.

It's one minute walk from 40 seconds.

40 seconds for me.

So we covered all that off, and then we got to biscuits.

I didn't want to come in hard.

We knew this was going to be a tough negotiation.

So this is how

the conversation turned to biscuit chat with Sally from the Four Ponds.

And then we've got

Is it the Royal Banawa Foyer?

The Royal Banawa Foyer.

Yep.

Yep.

That's for the welcome tea and coffee.

Arrival tea and coffee and biscuits.

Biscuits.

Yes.

Let's talk quickly about the biscuits.

Very important to any conference.

Yes, it is.

What kind of biscuits do you have in mind?

Ginger and macadamia is what I'm thinking.

Our beautiful kitchen makes lovely giant ginger and macadamia biscuits.

So it's oh, so it's it's a homemade biscuit.

Beautiful.

We've got a wonderful pastry chef.

Yeah.

Ah,

okay.

Wow.

I don't not not like it andy i love it that's i suppose my mouth had been getting ready for a kingston

and we've we've asked everyone to put their preference in so

it's a bit weird if you choose like tim tam or something and then that's true we can either adjust that

or

i could

no offense to ginger and macadamia but that ain't everyone's favorite biscuit

i thought the same thing hence the conversation continued oh

what how many is he planning on making?

At least 300.

One each.

So you're thinking one biscuit per person.

I can do more if you would like.

Hamish was concerned that people might need more biscuits.

They're giant.

What would you describe it?

Like a CD, like an old compact disc-sized biscuit or a bit smaller than that?

A bit smaller than that, but quite thick.

I'll send you photos.

Okay, great.

The word you're looking for here is cookie.

I don't know why no one thought of that word.

They sound like cookies.

She did send through a photo for me alongside a golf ball for Relic.

She is close to the course.

Yeah.

Just for perspective, I've sent that through to you both now, just so you can have a quick look at that.

Okay.

Yep, that's a homemade cookie.

I will say, it looks really yum.

It does look yum.

I'm going to need more flavours than that.

Okay.

I thought you'd say that ham.

So then

that's...

So this is when I pressed her on the types of biscuits.

I'll send you photos.

Okay, great.

And is it ginger and macadamia is the only style or would there be other?

There's definitely others.

I mean, the cruppins are very popular.

What's that?

Which one?

The cruppins are very popular.

That's quite large.

What's in one of those?

Hazelnut.

Hazelnut.

Okay.

Oh, I feel like we've got some decisions.

I can send you the compendium and we can select.

Please.

And can you get a mix or is it um is if we choose we can get a mix great definitely is not send me you don't have compendium i'm actually still looking at the photo here ando of the golf ball and the cookie that's two left hands in the photo so she's gone and got a friend

someone needs to hold the camera as well she's gone and got a friend to hold the camera

Because they're putting that I appreciate the work, the effort the Royal Pines Resort's going to for this.

So they're not mucking around.

Two people have been pulled off their jobs this morning to go and hold a biscuit and the golf ball.

And it feels like they've been considerate of putting the resort in the background.

Yeah, Jack.

Am I not the only one there that sees the manicured lawns there and the sweeping clubhouse and goes, for the first time ever, I worry about that third session?

But that's not what we're here to discuss.

So

what is actually turning into?

And again, it's not a bad thing.

It's just not what I had envisaged.

Objectively speaking, people would rank a homemade cookie and cruffins as a more gourmet product than an Harnett's assorted biscuit.

I don't know why I'm so attached to the biscuits.

I think it's because I was enjoying seeing how many I could eat.

And

I think other attendees might...

We can't have him so full that he can't.

No, but I sort of agree with Hain, where it started to feel like an unlimited situation where it was almost the gauntlet was laid down of how many you can eat.

Yeah.

but do we want people vomiting or feeling uneven?

We need them to concentrate.

Use common sense.

They'll use common sense, but it's just very exciting.

I think one of the things I was excited about offering our delegates was at other conferences, you're encouraged to be modest with your biscuit taking because there's like a limited amount per people.

We already heard it's very normal to have one biscuit per person.

And I just like the idea that our conference was we encourage

for complete free-for-all.

Feel like, do you want 10 tin tams?

Eat them.

Yeah.

We've got the stock.

Go for it.

Well, if it's about the amount specifically, this is where I pushed her on that from.

We can get a mix.

Great.

Definitely.

And then what capacity do you think of,

say, if

Kenny punched out a thousand of these things?

Or is it, what's the capacity of the kitchen?

One of our conferences is 1,300 people.

Okay.

And you normally go off one biscuit per person?

Yeah, rival tea and coffee because normally they have had breakfast and then they go straight to a rival tea and coffee and the biscuit, and then it's morning tea after that.

We've got morning tea coming up after that.

That's that's true.

That is true.

She can make 1,300, so that would be four

per person.

That's four large cookies per person.

That's good, home.

That's about right.

Okay,

if we can do, if we can do 1300,

I'll get the compendium for next week.

If we can get that kind of staggering amount of cookies, because again, it's like when you go to Subway.

Imagine you went to Subway, right?

And you're so excited to get the cookie.

And they went,

you know what?

Like they spun the perspex around and went, just have as many as you want.

You're like, whoa.

Okay.

Now you're probably only going to have three or four, but just for that moment of not feeling squashed by the rules of like, you know, one, just one.

Yeah.

It just gets people so fired up, I think, to come in off that abundance of cookies.

I'm making a huge call here and I hope I'm not doing the wrong thing.

What do you think, Jack?

I think the prospect of homemade

biscuits.

Yep.

I think we drop the drop-down menu.

No one chooses their favorite biscuit anymore, but we have an assorted mix of homemade with at least four per person.

Some people are going to eat less, which some people eat more.

That feels very generous.

Doesn't it?

And I think we want at least, let's say, four flavors.

So so you can have one of each

well i'll bring the again i'll bring up the different flavors and i think that clears up what we're offering everybody at con con of course the world's best tax deductible could we could we put

could we put on the drop down menu an indication because you by the time people were going to buy these right

when you go to buy tickets you'll know now the thought we've put into the biscuits versus cooking situation could we take a small poll as people are buying the tickets as to go

are you excited about the recent direction the biscuit situation has taken yeah yes or no and and then we'll get an idea if people are saying no to that we can easily pivot back to just dropping a thousand bucks on commercially available biscuits and having far more than anyone could possibly eat perfect tickets go on sale tonight homishini.com 189 per person and um yeah we've got to stress you've got to get your own way there that's just for the conference conference flights accommodation um but the conference but then you look at all of that and you go

imagine fights

yeah that made it sound like that was all included in 100

flights accommodation not included

but are fun things to pay for and then present your accountant with the receipts yes and imagine you know your accountant going whoa whoa whoa look at all these deductions mamma mia finally you give me something i can deduct again get your own advice for the deductibility.

From where we sit, it looks 100 legit.

Gents, this morning at short notice, I said, hey, because I just, I heard something this morning and I was like, God, I've got to tell the guys about this.

And I thought, would it be fun to...

It's a fact, right?

Just a good fact.

It's one of those, it's not like quite one of those, but it's sort of in the region of like, you know, I was today years old when I found out, blah, blah, blah.

But it's this thing was like, oh, yeah, fair enough.

That's an interesting fact.

I don't think I knew that.

And I was like, would everyone would be interested in bringing one fact to the show today?

And we have a fact shootout, like a duel, like a Wild West duel.

The very specific rules you sent through to Hey Mission, so to Jack and I, Ham, you said we're talking about your fact.

Can't Google.

Can't Google your fact.

You can't seek a fact out.

It kind of has to come to you.

You can't say, hey, has anyone got any good facts?

Because it just has to be in the because I think that just makes it your go-to.

Yeah, your go-to.

Did one come to mind straight away for you, Jay?

I've got one that I hope I'm not misremembering, but I remember the gist of it is good.

And you'll go, oh, that's a good fact.

Is it a fact?

I mean, there's some things around, like the minor details might, I might be remembering wrong.

Can we end this to the game then, Haim?

That straight after our fact,

Radio Mike out there Googles it it just to fact check us and then gives it, it's a fair play because obviously.

You know, I'm worried mine, I'm pretty sure mine's true.

I'm pretty sure otherwise the whole point of being wowed by a fact is in fact the fact it is a fact.

Yes, you're right, you're right.

Well, I think the thumbs up from Mike should be true enough.

Okay.

Well, we'll get him to come in.

We'll get him to come in and kind of give us the report.

What we can do, what about this?

We each do the fact.

Well, okay.

We're adding a few too many layers on here too, but I also wanted to do a thing because in the Wild West, when there was a duel, a shootout, it was a one-on-one situation.

It was quite clear who the winner was.

Now, in a three-way, we've each got one bullet, but there's obviously going to be three shots fired,

but only,

you know, two people might shoot the same guy.

So there could be one man left standing.

And are we shooting?

Are we shooting a fact we don't like?

Yeah.

Well, basically, the last man standing is the winner.

So we're going to have to.

Are we shooting the winner or are we shooting the fact we don't like?

Obviously, shooting a fact we don't like, but if you don't get shot, you will be the winner.

Okay, so we could have two winners, yeah.

That is true.

Let's just assume that the two worst facts are getting shot, and that the winner remains standing in this triangular shootout.

So, because only because the sound effect of a build is three gunshots, two bodies hitting the floor.

Okay, and then at the end of it, we got we hear the facts, yeah, and then we say who we think the best fact is.

All right, let's get into this.

Okay.

Who wants to go first?

I'll go first since I've started this thing.

Be honest with me.

Did you guys know that a t-shirt

is called a t-shirt

because of the shape of the flag?

Yes, right, 100%, yes.

Did you really know that?

I feel like you just say that.

I think you heard Jack be so confident.

Then, Andy, you were like, I can absolutely jump on board this because I know that means Hames getting shot.

I don't even ever remember being told it is a fact as much as it's just like sucks the fucking thing.

There's such a thing as a gracious win-win game.

You don't have to do this dance.

I didn't know.

We don't have to rub it in.

I thought that was fascinating.

I've never thought about that.

I can't believe this whole thing can be derived from that fact.

I think there'll be a lot of people out there who are now playing your game, Andy, of pretending they knew that, but secretly they're wild.

Secretly, they're wild.

I can't wait to pretend I knew this.

Mine's insect-based.

I knew it.

I never even considered a time in my life where I didn't know it.

The sound a mosquito makes

is its wings flapping.

I assumed that.

Yeah, I would say

they flap 800 times a second.

I didn't know the stat, but I would assume that that's the noise because they only make the noise when they're moving.

They didn't think it was them screaming.

It was playing a little oboe.

They didn't know they could fly.

Yeah, we definitely assumed part one of the fact, and part two of the fact feels googled.

No, no, no.

Coming in.

Wait, did you Google us?

You remembered 800.

No way you remembered 800.

Where'd you hear it?

You googled the shit out of that.

I heard it from the shit.

Dude, hey, you

Who is a writer on the animation?

You heard of when?

Katie Westcott is a writer on the animation.

Yeah.

She's the one that told me.

She told you 800 times

in conversation.

It's in conversation.

Jack.

I don't know.

When do we shoot?

When do we shoot?

Can I buy extra boards?

God, I really thought mine was going to be good.

I think mine is good.

Oh, you're a no-chance.

Would you like to get a fresh audience in here?

Because we are heavily incentivized to hate or at least be disinterested in this fact.

Okay.

Woolworths in Australia

got its name because Woolworths already existed as a chainsaw in the US and the UK.

And a guy from England came over to start.

Oh my God.

When does this fact end?

Oh my gosh.

He came from Australia.

At least one was quickly.

It was a fun visual.

I'll try and watch the movie.

I think

I'll just copy off Handy's.

The guy came from England.

He wanted to build a supermarket in Australia.

And he said, I'm just going to call it Woolworths.

But he had nothing to do with the existing Woolworths.

He just named that because it was named.

that in England and he thought, oh, who's going to know?

What?

It's true mike saying but also

isn't that interesting no he just stole the name he stole the name yeah and but now it's the woolworths we know so well but he stole and and he stole the name from a woolworth so even by now that by the way

woolworth's name was stolen for the guy like that tap but it was stolen from this shop that already existed and did a similar thing called woolworths so now if you if you and you can't steal a name from a shop that has a different name than you stole.

So yes, we know he stole Woolworths from a shop called Woolworths.

Can't go, I stole Woolworths from a shop called McRobertson's.

So why do you wanna steal McRobertson's?

If you went to the UK or the US and you saw a Woolworths, you would

probably wrongly, but think.

The music's run out.

The music's run out.

That's how long Joe.

That's the expect one.

Oh, that must be where it originated, and that's where we got our Woolworths.

Okay, so he's shooting one person.

Oh, no.

I had to go live.

Why do I

recommend we all get shot here.

Yeah.

Well.

Yeah, two fell at the same time.

I mean, if you had to pick a good fact.

I think, Ando, I think it's okay for you to say that you didn't know about mine and you just wish you did.

You just wish you did.

It just can't be Jack's.

And it can't be yours.

Can't be yours.

Oh, it has to be mine.

I think it's mine.

My fact delivered better.

Delivered better than what I did.

Because I was trying to pull it from memory.

Mike, do you have a winner?

Andy!

Yes.

Oh, my God.

Jack, get another bullet for Mike.

Hey, we love all the listeners.

We do.

There's certain alert ones that go going back through the passages of time.

With the pod, we always recommend people start from the the start, but on our app or even on Apple, you can go back and listen to any show we've ever done.

Don't find stuff from 2006 and cancellers.

It is done in the spirit of our non-cancellation.

We're letting you into a circle of trust by keeping it out there.

No combing through for the old, trying to put us in the old cancel bag.

Okay.

It's there was there were different times.

There were different times and we have immunity.

So don't even try.

No,

spirit of fun.

Please look back in the spirit of fun.

Rachel wrote in here saying, Ahoy boys, I've been listening.

I think of guys begging for their jobs.

Ahoy boys, I've been listening to the pod from the start and I'm currently listening to 2014.

So it must have been happy hour days.

Happy hour days.

Yeah.

So there was solid radio days.

There was like, you know, once a week radio days, but that was, yeah, we did the happy hour.

Was that, yeah, three to four, three to four in the afternoon, which was primarily a podcast that somehow bled out on the airwaves.

That's right.

She noticed it's the 10-year anniversary for Random John or Random Rob.

Now, I got confused when she made the Random Rob reference.

I remember Random Rob, yep.

But she says it happens next month.

Haim specifically mentions that it's a 10-year situation, and I'm dying to know whether you guys are keeping up the random John or Random Rob.

Of course we are.

As a quick refresher for people that might not be familiar with Random John, it was a game we used to play on the podcast.

We would simply enter a mobile phone number.

And if the person that answered was called John, as in if we had successfully called a random John, we would be awarded one John Point.

Yes.

And we got one.

Yep.

We're currently world leaders on one John Point.

And a lot of other shows from around the world started playing the game.

Some Irish guys got quite into it from memory, an Irish radio station, but we sort of, we retired on one John Point.

Quickly refresh my memory as to when, what the Rob.

What the Rob was.

Was a Rob worth 10 John points I thought robs were bad.

Oh, that's right.

Yeah, a rob that's right.

You're right Jack a rob would take away your John point in the normal course of play because that's right.

We'd go what's your name?

Are you called John?

And they would go no you're like please don't be called Rob.

Rob.

Because yeah robs were the inverse.

Don't think about it too hard.

Of John's and they could, yeah, they could take away a John point.

I think that was correct.

I've tracked down the part of the show that Rachel is talking about.

This is where she explains random rob today's topic is of course robs and we heard someone chatting in the hallway earlier on that you can maybe once a decade play random John but bet against against a John.

Yeah, you can bet with the house.

Essentially you bet against a John.

Like going zero on roulette.

But even crazier.

Yeah.

Like imagine a roulette reel with a million numbers.

And we were thinking this is odd.

So what we then hope for a Rob.

That's what this guy was saying in the hallway.

Now we never caught his name and he shuffled off pretty quickly, but he said that once a decade, there is a day, and it does happen to be today.

Yes.

There is a day where you can play random Rob, essentially.

And a John takes away your previous John point, but a Rob gives you a John point.

I was worried it would be confusing.

But it makes perfect sense to me.

So here we are 10 years later, ready to risk it all again to play random Rob, which remember is the opposite of random John.

Yeah.

So we're looking at possibly calling a random number.

Would we do it again?

Would we risk it all decade on,

call a number, hope for a Rob

and pray against a John?

And then it would take our tally to

John points,

even though we got one of them.

by getting a Rob.

Jacko, you're in charge of putting the number in, so we can't be accused of trying to fix it.

This is a random number.

It starts very similar to my wife's number, but then I've mixed it up at the end.

Okay.

Let's

allow it.

Should we do this now?

I think we should do it.

It's been over five million minutes.

Over 87,000 hours.

Over 3,500 days.

122 minutes.

It's been 10 years.

Yes, yep, 10 years.

Just clicking and say, just 10 years.

Okay, got it.

Yep.

10 years since we've played a random role.

A lot can happen in 10 years.

The United Kingdom is no longer part of the European Union.

What do we want?

We have artificial intelligence that can now work autonomously alongside humans.

Happy birthday, Andy.

And Hamish Blake still hasn't delivered the big finish he promised us at the end of the podcast in 2019.

Oh, sorry, mate.

Bit of a low blow.

I got hacked.

I don't think we should be making jokes about getting hacked in this climate.

So, 10 years since the last random rob.

They say you should let sleeping robs lie, but these brave men don't subscribe to that poppycock.

Instead, they'll make the call today.

Andy and Hamish prepared to dial another time.

I've waited 10 years with Hamish.

I've waited ten years with Hame.

We know there's robs are waiting, and we're finally allowed to play another game.

We'll leave the number picking to Jacko, so he's the one we can blame.

I've waited ten years with Ando, a random rob is our aim.

Good luck, Jack.

Dear everybody, switch your brain to excited.

Cause the people's show is now about to play random wrong.

Are you right?

Are you right?

Are you right?

Are you Rob?

Q Timpany.

It's been a while.

Coming back to me, but I've forgotten this feeling.

The excitement.

Just play your natural game, play your natural phone game.

Okay.

You ready?

Here we go.

God, I hope it's not Rob De Costello.

I hope it is.

This is Rob Irwin.

Two points.

It's Rob Irwin.

Two points.

Must give that Time later.

Hi, you've rich one.

Yeah,

I'll give you a callback.

Thank you.

Well, sorry, I was just yesing because it's not a John.

I just didn't want a John.

Sorry.

I just didn't want a John.

I just didn't want a John.

Was it Warren?

Warren, yeah.

Do you think it was Rob?

What, Rob?

Robin.

Robin?

No, it was damn.

Do you think it was Robin, O'Connor?

I thought it was Robin, which...

No, that would make my yes one of the worst yeses of all time.

Like a World Cup losing own goal where you cheat for another.

I heard Warren.

I heard coach God it was Warren.

We could ring him again and see.

I agree with Robin.

I'll think Rob.

I'll ring him again.

I'll think Robin.

I'll think Robin as well.

Yeah.

And see if it matches up.

But I think this is Silver Dress.

I don't think it's a Silver Dress Blue Dress.

I think it was Warren.

Sorry, I was probably just more excited to protect our John.

It seemed that way.

Yeah, you're playing defensive.

I just didn't.

I've been up to 10 years.

Can you imagine if we hit a John and we got sunk by getting a John?

That would have been a nightmare scenario.

Hi, you've reached Warren.

No, it's Warren.

Random Woz.

Well done.

Got him.

Yeah, good.

Thanks, Woz.

Got you, Woz.

Okay.

Oh, okay.

Well, another 10 years, lads.

See you then.

Seems like we're still in a negotiation with Liam

who, for people to bring people up to speed, his partner Angie wrote in saying he's got an amazing special skill.

He can take off all his clothes to naked, including shoes, socks, obviously underwear,

pants, shirt,

in two and a half seconds.

And it's just remarkable.

He literally will walk around the corner.

By the time I'm following him around the corner, he'll be completely nude.

It's a special skill that's captured the

absolute attention of the nation.

When it first came in, we're like, oh my God, incredible.

Then it went quiet.

And Angie came back and said, no, no, he can do it.

Yeah.

Last thing that we talked about was a bit of body confidence stuff.

We offered him a personal trainer for however many weeks he chooses.

Also, we suggested that not all of us had to be there to see it.

And also, too, we were like, are we looking at the wrong thing here?

Like, we don't want him to change his body shape.

Can we help him just love himself whatever?

We don't love him for the shape of him.

We love him for who he is and the skill he has.

And we don't have to video it.

It was just, we just need someone to witness it.

We just need to see it happen.

And we could also, he could wear speedos under undies.

And

hence he doesn't have to be completely nude.

Yeah.

And then I was, I think, from memory, right?

And naturally, I would be a bit worried about that because I think it would add a layer of difficulty for him to be able to grab your undies, but not your speedos.

I mean, yes.

Depends how tight, I suppose.

Well, we say this now with a bit of...

experience, don't we?

Because

throughout the week as we're talking about.

Well, the latest actually.

Well, we did get an email.

Sorry.

Yeah, just to back it up a sec.

A couple of days ago, we get an email from Angie going,

He is still keen because we just keep going, Look, maybe we're not trying to force this guy to get naked.

Like, if he doesn't want to do it, what, like, you know, our imaginations will forever enjoy wondering how he does it in two and a half seconds.

But Ange keeps coming back to us and going, He's not dead.

Yeah, here's the latest update.

I think he's away for a little while.

He is keen, apparently, happy to do it in a room with an eyewitness.

But he,

according to Angie, his wish is for it to be just Andy.

Which great choice.

Yeah, not me, not Jack.

So big Andy fan.

Well, maybe just a level of comfort.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know where, I don't know where this comes from.

Neither do I.

Like, if he's got your, if he's got you tattooed on his ass or something, and this is the slow play, and he's like, how do I get the retention?

Like, wouldn't that be amazing?

Well, we don't know where that's going to land, but look, we're open to that.

We also were wondering, how hard is this?

Well, then, as with this emails flying around, the three of us during the week, we're having, you know, we're going, okay, this is progress is afoot again.

It came up, someone along came up, like, we should actually have a go.

We've talked about this a lot.

We've got to set the benchmark.

We all had a go in our own homes with clothes of our own choosing, which I don't know about you guys, but as I was, I was going through my wardrobe going, well, I'm not wearing that jumper, like far too tight.

Oh, really?

No, I didn't do that.

I went through the clothes that I had on.

Well done, because

my outfit you wouldn't,

it'd raise an eye as I was walking down the street.

Because I was in, I've got like, I've got like the raw tannenbaums, um, added ass tracksuit.

Yes, not the top because I didn't want to zip involved, but certainly the shiny pants.

I'm like, those things are coming off like Teflon.

Yeah, pretty loose shoes, tight socks, like regular fit athletic socks, regular undies, regular t-shirt and a jumper.

We all thought we'd have a go at it.

I mean, should we start with you, Jack?

Yeah, give us the environment.

And was it Bianca that was...

No, this is me on my own.

All right.

Me with Mrs.

Caldwell, who lives next door.

I didn't tell her what I was about to do.

And she's good with a watch.

And I think I explain in it what I'm wearing and taking off.

So how did you know your time?

Well, I thought we could go look at the log of the recording.

Oh, you include it.

Because I say go and stop.

Okay.

Okay.

So I actually don't know my time.

Maybe I'll time a little bit more.

Was there no chance Bianca would come home?

What a dream.

To like look through the bedroom window and see Jack dying.

Busy day again, mate.

Yeah,

most of the gross.

I have to do this.

You can check my emails.

Okay.

I'll time as I say go and stop in this audio because I'm not sure my exact time.

Okay.

All right.

I'm starting with jacket, jeans, shoes, but laces undone.

Yep.

Getting undressed in three, two, one.

Should have taken the socks off.

No, no, no.

Jacket sleeve got caught on the watch.

Done.

13 and a half seconds.

13.5.

Okay.

Well done.

Well done, Jack.

Well done.

Don't you get this belt belt dangling around too?

Belt belt, that's hard.

So you had to undo the belt.

I had to undo the belt.

You just put so many layers in it.

Yeah, and having to watch on and the jacket sleeve got caught on the jacket as it was coming off.

I could do a better time than that.

I think so.

Yep.

To take your undies off at the same time as the pants.

Yes.

Yeah.

We all did that, I reckon.

Yeah.

Shall I go next?

Well, that was actually one of the areas that I could improve on.

Okay.

Anyway.

Shall I go next?

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

Set the scene.

Beck and I were staying in a hotel last night and Beck wasn't happy with the room.

So we'd put in a complaint and we're waiting to see whether we'll change any rooms.

And I thought that was a good time to stop thinking of changing.

To knock off this.

So you'll hear a grumpy Beck where I ask her to do something.

I use the same tactic as Liam, where he said he falls back on the bed or an object to try and

do your sound.

No, I was falling back on the bed.

Yeah.

You'll see Beck's disgust that I

nude back on a bed that we're changing the room.

And I apologise to that.

Oh, she's angry at the bed.

She's angry at everything, really, but you'll just

you'll hear.

Um, that's the tone.

I just don't want you, Beck's normally a very fun, laughing person, but I didn't.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, man, it's not Instagram.

You just show us everything.

Um, I was wearing uh shoes, socks, tracks it, pants,

um,

t-shirt, jumper, hat.

Hat?

Oh, that's out of difficulty.

Okay, here we go.

Beck,

can you help me with something?

Yeah.

can you get your phone out?

This is your stopwatch.

And I need you to time me seeing I can take off all my clothes.

What now?

What are you doing?

We just need to do it for tomorrow.

Just how you say ready, set, go.

Are you really doing this now?

Yes.

God's sakes.

And then when I, when I'm completely naked,

you hit stop, okay?

And your marks, get set, go.

I can't believe you're doing this now.

Stop.

Oh.

Eight minutes and 30 seconds.

Eight minutes and 30 seconds.

Sorry, eight seconds.

Eight point three seconds.

Yeah, sorry.

Wow.

Very tired.

And you're a dude.

Like, we've got someone coming here right now.

And

would you not have waited like 10 more minutes to do this?

So what did you say eight eight eight eight point three seconds first attempt not too bad good

very good i loved it before you went you go and a hat and me and jack were both like whoa a hat

how long does it take you take a hat on the top

came off with the with the

two three

four about four seconds we're going to take my hat off then

um well done

so i did borrow a few cues from liam with i'm not sure whether you well you said you didn't use the bed.

No, I didn't.

I went so freestyle, as you're about to hear.

I jumped up and while in mid-air, ripped pants and underpants off at the same time to land bed on them and try and get it all off.

Unreal.

And that's, and I think, Jack, you're in the same boat as me.

You're about to hear my attempt, but.

You look back on it and you go, I didn't actually think that through at all.

Yeah, there was areas to improve.

Like, I knew what I wanted to do.

I wanted all my clothes off, but I didn't procedurally think it through.

I just went freestyle.

So you're about to hear that's what happened happened with me.

Yeah, similar setup.

This is in me and Zoe's bedroom last night.

I was like, oh, whoops, I've nearly forgotten this.

Same sort of thing.

Like, hey, can just before we go to bed, got to do this thing.

Again,

that's not part of Zoe's nighttime routine.

Do I say this now?

Will it become apparent?

No, I think I say this now.

Because I can't, I haven't listened back to the audio.

I think Marshi sort of, you know, edited it if necessary and put put it in.

But it wasn't.

I did explain to Zoe what we were doing.

Like we were seeing this guy says this.

I didn't think she was 100% listening because you'll hear it's quite a surprise to her that it ends in nudity.

All right, great.

Okay.

Hey, Misha fully clothed attempt.

Take one.

Witness Zoe Foster Blake.

Here I am witnessing.

Do you agree?

I'm fully clothed.

You're fully clothed.

Hoodie, t-shirt, traxer pants, socks, and shoes.

Ready.

Set.

Go.

I didn't go in your face.

It wasn't in the face.

Okay, what did we get?

7.95.

It's call it eight.

Fully nude.

Kallet eight with a dick in your breath.

No.

Again, it's not in the face.

And

there's not laughing because of the

SP.

Laughing, if anything,

through excitement.

Joy.

Treat.

Christmas.

The laugh of a Christmas morning.

Merry Christmas.

Just a lot of things in my face that I didn't ask.

Again, it wasn't in the face.

It was just in the room.

But with the SP, it can be difficult to control.

There's a lot of things in my face that I didn't ask.

Now, obviously, I didn't leap back on the bed, but you can tell from that description.

Again, it wasn't

in the vicinity, but obviously I flailed more than I remember flailing.

She was like, whoa, whoa, okay, whoa.

No one's confusing this with with the mating dance of the song of the bird of paradise.

7.95.

That's the stat we need to take out of it.

And that's when I came out of it.

I was just like, hang on.

Is this possible?

But now I know.

I think it.

No one, well, let's be realistic.

Even the 7.95, it's over three times longer than is being claimed.

It's like if someone ran the hundred meters at the Olympics in 30 seconds, no one's going, ooh,

yeah, yeah,

pretty good.

But it makes me feel

if it was, if they ran it in 30 seconds, the first time they've ever gone for a run.

Now, that is.

If they just got twice as fast each time.

Soon, they're at the speed of light.

It's the first time you ever tried it.

I know, I wanted to go again straight away.

Yeah, but

we've had enough.

It's remarkable.

Well, I still want to see it.

It's remarkable.

but it seems attainable.

Because I think that's what we were trying to achieve with this, us having a go is, is it even possible?

just by having us on?

And because it's Angie, it's his girlfriend constantly going, no, no, no, he can do it.

We're like, look, where is he?

And is this just, is it,

I believe so much more now, especially having gone through.

I think the thing that surprised me was the socks came off well.

Yep.

But I know I could get them off faster.

And I didn't take my undies off at the same time as the tracksuit pants.

I don't know why.

I think I was.

I think I was actually just thinking about how I normally get undressed and speeding up that process.

If I had my time again, I'd change my shoes.

My shoes were a bit tighter.

My shoes were really easy to get off.

I think that's where I got my time.

Yeah, you did.

I would, I actually will have another go tonight, whether we record it or not.

I'm gonna say to Zoe, we have to do it every night for the rest of the year till we get better

just to keep giving her a treat.

Well, let's hope by the end of the year we can type this loosely end with Liam.

Thanks, Lee.

Thanks for listening.

The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

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