2024 Ep 268 - Important Biscuit Discussion

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Ahoy to me scimitar.

Hamish.

Ah.

May I only behead you if you deserve it?

Oh, you know.

Swords.

Oh, he's got it.

Yes.

One of my favourite swords, top three swords.

I hope I can go to the other two.

Ahoy.

Cutlass and short sword.

Cutlass would have been myself today.

Ahoy to Jack, who would have been the falcon.

I think that's how you pronounce it.

Ahoy.

Yes.

Yeah, it doesn't move the needle for me, the falcon.

One-handed single-edged sword from European, of European descent.

That is Jack's.

You, of course, Middle Eastern, South Asia, and North African cultures have the curved blade that broadens at a point at the end.

Kind of the ones you might see in

Aladdin.

Can I just say something to the team?

I was joking before, I was just naming swords randomly when I said my top three swords.

My actual top sword would, of course, be a samurai.

Samurai.

Now that I think about it,

I went to a thing in Japan where you learn about how they make samurai swords.

Huge amount of respect for them.

I'm sure the other swords are difficult.

I just couldn't, in good faith go on having not registered the respect for the samurai worst sword has got to be the type they use in fencing i just i just because they're they're obviously they're

they

yeah they're based on real french swords from the olden days but how do they really hurt people they're so flimsy it does you're putting a heat over faith in the stabbing move oh you have to stab don't you imagine when they come back from their first war against another sword and they go they've and they go they've got the stab but guess what else they've got?

Swooshing, swiping, swiping, swiping and cutting.

Oh my god, we don't stand a chance.

All we've got is poking.

No, they have many other moves.

You know, we normally poke or give them a little funny slap.

Their funny slaps are bad.

Yeah, yeah, they can cut you.

Hit him with the edge, your head comes off.

Yeah, good call, Jack.

Had to be said.

Had to be said.

Cutlass, of course, more in tune with pirates.

Pirates.

But European origin broad sabre slashing sword.

Less poking would go on with a cutlass.

Still a good move, though, if you can poke.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sword chat for this week.

Patrick from Canada, ahoy to him.

He went to HamishNandy.com and told us what he's up to.

Ahoy, boys, and happy birthday, Andy.

It's Patrick from Nunavut, Canada.

It's

currently 3 a.m.

and one of the first days of summer, which means that the sun is shining.

It's four degrees and the harbor is still frozen solid.

I want to put this out there while I'm still living up here in the north, that I want to be in contention for the podcast's northernmost listener.

So let's see if there's anyone else north of 60.

Wow.

Wow.

NML.

NML is live.

It'll remain open for the rest of the year.

Who is the northernmost listener?

But we should point out that by the time the end of the last show,

that's where...

If it hasn't been challenged?

Yes, Patrick from Canada.

Take out NML.

So when he said north of 60, is that latitude?

Yeah.

Good on him.

I think 30 to go, but still good.

And he was saying it was 3 a.m.

and the sun was out.

He's high.

He's right up there.

Amazing.

Haim,

we both wanted to bring something up.

uh right now yeah apart from um latitudes and swords there's something else we want to talk about.

And we were alerted to something via email during the week.

Take us at homeachini.com anytime.

We thank the emailer.

You know who you are.

You can't remember it.

It's not at hand.

But you'll hear this and you'll know exactly who you are.

And deepness.

Thanks.

Thanks with gusto.

And then it's not worth

drag this.

Get this name, that name.

You know who you are.

And we know who you are.

Yeah, thank you.

So everyone in the loop knows who each other is.

Someone pointed out, and this is what I love about our listeners, Jacko, as well.

Like people will hear stuff, remember stuff that we would just have no chance of remembering and hearing.

And they're great at holding us to account.

Yeah, that's true.

Something this, this listener who knows who they are,

heard going back through old podcasts as well as listening to new ones.

I know some people just sometimes listen to the current one and might just like dip back into an old app

and heard something just over a year ago.

And it was this, Jacko.

Jack, I'm obviously based in Sydney.

I know Mars headquarters is in Melbourne.

And as it's very, very busy at the moment, Jack, would you be prepared to take a day out of your life and go and find him?

We'd appreciate it.

Yeah.

We would appreciate it.

You know what?

I'm going to shock you.

I'm going to do it.

I'm going to ask you.

Are you going to regret that?

No.

Are you going to do it?

Are you going to do some extracurricular work for the show?

He's got our classic Hamish plate Peter round up his sleeve anyway.

So I smell this a mile off.

It's still great.

Whatever the part of your brain was, it was like, this will feel great saying this.

And it did.

And it did.

Let me just let you know that from now on, that satisfaction will slowly bleed away until you realize you now have to spend a day of your life finding the CEO of Mars to doorstop.

Has that clear CEO?

I want it to be.

It will be.

It will be.

He's high on the lies.

Keep going.

It'll It'll be the CEO of Mars, and I guarantee he'll say we'll put the A back on the packaging.

You did a year.

He's drunk, I promises.

I know the feeling so well.

Talking about getting the A back in Malteses to make it actually Maltese's.

So, yes, this is when we were talking about the correct spelling of Maltese's, everyone's favorite puffed

chocolate-covered sphere.

And Jack, yeah, you heard what you said.

Sometimes hearing these recaps is almost like hearing it for the first time.

I actually do know the feeling.

It's a bit out of body, isn't it?

Where you're like, wow, what was I doing?

Because when you make it, throwing a year out there, this sounds like forever.

Immediately your brain would have gone, well, that's at least the first six months off.

And even then, I'll be going at a trot.

So how have you gone?

Well,

I do remember saying about the Ma CEO, when people have mentioned it to me, are you ever going to doorstop the Ma CEO?

I actually forgot what it was about.

Oh, it's not your fault.

Well, I'm just saying how long ago that audio seems because every time I've thought, I should go and do that, I've thought, oh, I don't even know what I'm doing.

I love it.

It is hydropinical.

You're both you

and somehow your boss who hasn't told you, given you enough information, you're like, well, I can't get in trouble for that.

No one told me what it was about.

Yeah, because what would I ask them if I doorstopped them and then had

no no idea what the questioning was about now that i've been reminded

there is an opportunity you know what you know what jack there's a real opportunity yeah because joining us right now wow wow you wouldn't go to him so he has come to us we found him andrew leakey the gm the top dog of Mars Wrigley Australia.

Jack, I think I've put in a door knocking sound effect.

What was his name again?

Andrew.

Andrew.

Yep.

I'm going to get you to play the door doorknock and then he'll be there.

He'll say hello and you have to show us the live simulation of what you're doing

to try and convince him to get A back in Maltese.

Good luck.

Andrew, you're there.

Ahoy.

Hey, Michandy.

And of course, Jack.

Ahoy, Andrew.

But Jack, you've doorstopped him.

Andrew, is that you?

Are you the Mars CEO?

I am the Mars CEO.

I've been waiting for such a long time for this connection.

Well, the people have been waiting as well for their A in the word Malteses.

Firstly, do you say Malteses or Malteses?

We say Malteses, and we've been saying it since 1937.

So you would have found that out if you'd Googled it.

Yes, but how do you spell it?

Without an A?

There's an A at the beginning and an E towards the end.

So it's got an A in it.

One A is not going to cut it for the people, Andrew.

We want the second A in there.

Jack, in 1988, we started making them in Ballarat.

And almost a year ago, you said you were going to come and find me.

And you've left me hanging.

We had a photo of you at reception to let you in when you came to the headquarters.

Told my grandkids, I said, Hey, this guy, Jack, is going to not rock up at our place.

Keep an eye out for him.

This is what he looks like.

Those photos are going faded.

Oh, Andrew.

It's been so long.

I know your type CEO's the king of spin.

History dates this 1974, 1988.

Blah, blah, blue.

It doesn't mean anything.

So you found me, Jack.

Well, well done.

How do you change the word to how it should be spelt?

No, listen,

it was first made in 1936 and Florence Mars Sr.

named the product and it hasn't changed in all of that time.

Andrew, if you're going to fire up the machine to make the A packaging, why not just keep it on?

Oh, look, thousands and thousands of people all around the world love that product and they recognize that we don't have that many people worried about the second A.

Look, I'm not sure why you are.

Get your head out of the clouds, Andrew.

Come down to Earth.

Andrew, I would have closed the door on him a long time.

Jake's got a heavy foot here in the door.

Hey, Jake, I know you love a freebie.

I think this is a ploy to get some free product from Mars, which I'm sure we can help you with.

This is interesting.

Andrew, would you like to put a number of boxes of Malteses on the table to make this go away?

You won't need many

to make this

man out of your door.

How many boxes of Malteses would you offer?

The cinema-size boxes.

How about we throw a box to each of you?

So, three boxes, and then you can decide whether the A is important or just the amazing taste of Malteses is enough to satisfy you.

And that should keep Jack happy.

But please don't start with a career in private investigation, Jack.

You take so long to catch up with people.

12 boxes.

boxes.

I'll go four.

How's that?

And then one that that's for Carly because Carly's done all the work to find me to get us connected and get me on the podcast.

So, how's that?

Oh, nicely done.

We got a deal.

Just so you know, Andrew, he commonly doesn't pass those freebies on if they go to him.

So I'd send them directly to Carly

for an audit.

We'll do.

We'll do.

I guarantee it won't take 12 months to get the deal up.

Andrew, you're a great sport.

Really appreciate it, mate.

All right, guys.

Enjoy.

See you.

Thanks, Andrew.

Bye.

Jack, it sounds like he's really going to think about it.

That actually was a lot of fun.

It felt out of character for me and usually nice person to be that aggressive.

You could be.

You had a cause that you cared about.

And you heard him at the end there.

Yeah, I'll think about it.

Sort of like, you know, he didn't say that, but.

Yeah, it was a vibe.

Yeah, if you've got real progress made.

Yeah.

I'm not saying you took one box of Malteses to go away.

Yeah, that was small because

he would be able to see.

You should have been talking pallets.

Yeah, 12 was a bad counter argue.

Yeah.

Oh, oh, well.

Guys, just got back from a quick jaunt to Fiji with the whole family.

Gorgeous.

Conference?

I'd certainly text it after I was seeing whether

I was seeing whether a conference was available for us over there.

Thank you.

Pleasure.

What's the findings?

Stick with our

pleasure.

Sounds like more investigation required perhaps by other members of the team.

I think we'd have to go back either individually or together to make a firm decision on that.

Well done.

How do you tax deduct the rest of the family or do they

pay them?

You'd never

pay for themselves.

Bad luck for them that it's not taxed all.

I'm not sure if you've done this yet.

Hey, I'm sure you have.

Obviously,

I'm not with child at the moment.

You are.

So currently I'm pregnant.

Yes.

So I've never gone on the family resort style holiday.

Yeah, sure, I don't think.

It's a gear change.

It was awesome.

I mean, we're talking, you get your vouchers for your food, you go to the buffet every morning, you hand over your voucher.

I'm doing water aerobics

with the whole result.

A lot of full resort activities together.

It's like being on a cruise, but you don't go anywhere.

It's a landlocked cruise.

Yeah, it's that kind of vibe.

And this is the thing, though, Andrea, and your brother and sister and like people in your family that have kids would, there's always that thing, especially when you've got younger kids, where you're like, nah, and we're not going to change our life at all.

The kid is coming with us.

Hey, we like, you know, like, we like going on surf trips or whatever.

We're just going to do that.

The kid's just going to sleep in the van and hang out and watch a surf, whatever.

Like, it's just going to do our life.

Then they, by the time they hit four, everyone's just like, just get us to club, mate.

Like, just get us to this.

As

as long as there's frozen flushes.

Oh my god, is there a kids' club?

Please, because we're just gonna be asleep next to the pool.

So, that was the vibe.

Yeah, great.

Good fun.

Did see a kid eating the cheese off the tongs at the buffet during taco because it's taco night.

Not just licking the tongs, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's that's gonna happen, I guess.

I've said Andy abroad

on tour.

Um,

one thing that happened that I just wanted to share with you because it was it was amazing.

During water aerobics,

Beck lost her aura ring.

We can make that very clear.

Her aura ring.

Oh, the fitness tracker.

A little fitness tracking ring

that she is very passionate about.

She loses it in the pool.

It's a big pool.

Do you have an aura?

How are you getting your sleep score?

Oh, you're getting it off the bed that senses you because a lot of people will

be able to do it.

Yeah, the aura rings people scramble.

First thing they do when they wake up, like, what's my sleep score?

How did I go?

So this is during water aerobics.

It did delay the race.

There was a race every day

from one end of the pool to the other.

I'm not having a go.

I'm not having a go here at water aerobics.

I think it's a wonderful thing to do, especially as you get older and you might have trouble bearing your weight on your joints.

But as someone that enjoys physical activity and has tracked activity before in their life, I can't say that the aura ring would have been registering too high

a heart rate.

Like you'd be like, oh no, don't tell me that i've missed out on 75 beats a minute for my calorie burn today that's fair that is fair one i've got to quickly digress the there was a race every day

from for males females race of the pool right so you run along the bottom no no like a it's a free swimming race like a swimming race right what's the age bracket though for that it was it was adults and then there was kids and there was and so just 18 plus is the every day because of the race again with water aerobics there'd be like the masters categories i I would have thought, like, you know, 60 plus

all of us were in for water aerobics.

This is then they went categories for the race.

And

my nephew's like, can you go on the race?

He was like, sure, I can go on the race.

And I was very aware that sometimes I can get too competitive.

So Andy, just relax, right?

Realized there were people way more competitive than me, so I had that sorted.

The guy on the speaker has yelled out, all right,

you got to go.

When I say ready, said go, you can go, right?

And he's gone, ready, said Bulla, which is hello for Fred.

Oh, there's a trick.

Yeah, upset Andy.

So stickler for, I bet people would have gone on Bulla.

One dad goes, right?

Yeah.

And then he has, doesn't he have to say bulla bulla as a false start?

Like

you have to shoot the gun twice.

The guy was so keen on winning that he heads down and does the full

people wouldn't have heard ferociously by himself.

He would have thought he was out in front by so much.

I love it.

Yeah, it's just like the 50 meters at the Olympics, like no breath, just head down, one breath for winning.

To the end, turns around to see where it's at.

There would be 150 people pissing themselves laughing.

His kids celebrating, think that they've got the win.

And he did, to his credit,

wasn't disqualified, came back and did the race again, but just slightly less enthusiastic.

Anyway.

So Beck's lost the aura ring.

She's yelled out, I've lost my ring.

Right.

Everyone's thinking it's the wedding ring.

Or any, yeah, when someone yells that out,

that's a big deal.

So the number of strains there, a bit of panic sets in, we've got to help, we've got to help.

It then filters through.

So the guy on the microphone calls everybody from the resort that's got their bathers on as another great attendant Fijian guy runs up with all the goggles from the snorkeling section.

Yep.

hands them all out.

Everyone lands that and suddenly it becomes an emu bob

for Beck's aura ring well they think it's an engagement ring no

because on the scale of rings the only thing less valuable really with no offense to aura is like a baby a burger ring

it's basically a novelty ring so i'm going oh okay I see these are the wedding shares.

No, it's my aura ring.

You have to tell.

You have to be like, get your engagement ring off right now.

Yeah.

And put it in your bathers.

Because if people might just bob straight over the aura ring because it doesn't look anything like...

Oh, I found a piece of jewelry.

I found a washer.

I found a washer from the filter system.

So I say to Bec, you've got it.

You're sure you're wearing it.

She goes, yes, yes, yes.

It's gone.

And I'm like, we've got to call this off.

She goes, no, I really want it.

It's going to look like I gave you a plastic gold ring.

I don't care.

I want it.

Right.

So the whole,

I would say 45.

I've got a fair one that I, of course I own one of these.

Like, I haven't worn it for five years.

Does she want mine?

We've got 40 I'll probably say 45 people participating in the ring Bob all right

triumphantly my nephew Fred finds it great right he would have been on in on it was he in on the fact that it was we're looking for a plastic ring no no he's just so he gets it he's the everyone rejoicing it was like the kid that invented the taco fucking tape everybody was throwing up in a much safer environment because he's in the water and you can yeah you could really go for some height exactly let's see if we can get him three meters in the air he then gets the ring back to beck she puts it on exits very quickly

and she

and basically with a good bounce fred now uh is the only one that knows it wasn't the wedding i was i was going to say it's great that it's in the circle of trust but i was so

for beck for someone who gets embarrassed so quickly it was confusing to it was a very confusing situation to me that i would she would never to never like the attention she gets embarrassed embarrassed quickly quickly.

For her to persist with 45 people searching for an aura ring, to me is a confusing, not, not enough to call off the web, but I don't sit there and go, well, I'm looking for loopholes.

But I just, you know, you think you know someone.

Don't tell me you're backing out.

You're just laying down

groundwork.

All I'm just saying to anyone out there.

you know you'll learn you'll learn something new about your partner but it is because it's so competitive with it people just are you just battling yourself from the day before, you're trying to beat your score.

So, she's probably unbeknownst to you, she's probably on some like hot streak of active minutes or something.

One thing about the aura ring, I mean, you would have slept in yours then, Henry, if you had one.

Yeah, nothing.

Well, you got to charge it too, yeah, you're right, but yeah, you know, you're sleeping, I think.

Yeah, Beck will wake up and I'll go, How's that?

She says, I had the best sleep, and then she checks her phone, she goes, Oh my god, overall worse

than I go, the data tells us else otherwise,

and so she then acts tired all all day based off what her phone told her the ring knows the ring knows well it doesn't please it's not if you felt good just feel good just feel good yes you are not the lord of the ring it is the lord of you when when you wear the aura ring the thing where you get disheartened a bit is though because i of course i went i i i'm i know how she's feeling because i've been there myself you i've gone through the phase i was wearing an aura ring and a whoop which are the same kind of thing so the whoops like the bracelet do they match up like would they no and they would give you counter, they would disagree with each other.

So you'd do exercise, and the whoop would be like, you did this.

And then you'd all be like, oh, from where I'm standing, lower down, but where are you where you were?

15 centimeters further down the hand.

I felt like you did this.

And then she'd be like, well, if you two idiots can't sort it out,

I feel like I did something completely different too.

So we all just agreed to go our separate ways.

That's what broke us.

That's what broke us up.

Hey,

these keep pouring in, people with empathy for objects, extreme empaths.

Extreme empathy.

Someone asked

at Haimacheny.com, hey, can we get an opener for this segment?

Because we get excited to see it.

I thought, yeah,

we've been doing it for a couple of weeks now, so it probably deserves an opener.

We thought, what song should we use?

Well, in the spirit of extreme empaths, if we pick a song, that we go, yeah, that can be the opener.

Won't all the other songs in the world feel sad that they didn't get picked as the opener for extreme empaths.

So we asked Marshi here, could you make a short

couple of second wall of sound that's all the songs in the world so they all get included in being in the opener and no one feels left out.

So let's do it.

It's time for extreme empaths.

There we go.

So hopefully we don't have any sad karaoke versions of songs sitting on the bench going, what about me?

And

I'm going to kick this one off.

Shelly Walsh.

She's an empath.

She says, look, every morning when I take my vitamins, I get the vitamins out of the jar, but I close the lid of the jar first before I swallow them.

So the remaining tablets won't see what's eventually going to happen to them and they don't have to live in fear.

So

it's for the rest of the tablets to go.

Maybe there's a better life outside the jar.

Maybe great things are ahead.

It's so many, there's so many conflicting things.

I'm so fascinated by the logic that people face when they're like,

they add these feelings, these little, like, you know, food, stuff that we're going to eat.

Where it's like, do they want to be eaten?

Is it their destiny?

Are they born to do it?

Do they want to be chosen?

Or are they, or are they just can't believe I'm in this situation where I'm going to be eaten by a bigger animal?

Makes me laugh a lot thinking of a B vitamin, which is for stress relief, sitting there stressed

the whole day that it's going to be eaten.

uh this one coming from tess

uh she said a friend of mine's an extreme empath um when she boils water and throws it down the sink she immediately puts on the cold dap because she

she feels the sink is experiencing intense heat don't want to burn its throat

You'd hate for the sink to not be able to taste dessert.

Burst its tongue.

Oh, good.

Oh, this is from Blake.

Ah, guys, when I use my Google Maps to travel to unknown places, or just sometimes I have it on to check traffic, etc., when you arrive at the said destination, Google Maps is always very excited at the end of the trip and always asks you to rate how well the trip went.

I feel really bad when I end the trip before I arrive at my destination because Google will never know how I felt.

and will never know if I enjoyed my trip or not.

It eats me up sometimes inside for days.

Anyway, I love the podcast.

it's an interesting one could be the only case ever of someone worried they're not giving google enough information yeah like i'm not i'm worried i'm worried i'm not giving google enough data

can i call up head office and go sorry i took a trip the other day i just want you to know four stars i kind of i almost loved it got another one in the tech game then ham this is from mark he's a kiwi teacher but he's in the uae

he says I'm a teacher and I often use chat GPT for great ideas when I do in the classroom, but I feel bad for it when they give me an idea that's not quite good enough and I need to ask it for more I always feel like I'm inconveniencing chat GPT so when I need another answer I'll type something like I really like that idea but can I have one

have one more just in case

chat GPT going home going, God's just off today.

I just couldn't seem to know it.

He just kept saying, no, no, more creative than that.

Oh, what a good teacher.

Ando, permission to do a slight departure on the theme here.

This is from Tain, and she writes and goes, look, the opposite of an empath is an apath.

So someone that does it, maybe it doesn't feel it.

But I mean, there still is, you'll see what I mean here, like still attributing human behaviors to something.

So my brother's girlfriend has a robo-vacuum.

Must be very nice.

Now, we've had a few robot vacuum ones before, but usually people feeling sorry for the robot vacuum that has to do all this work lives on the floor eating dust all day like you know hell of a job but in this case if the robot vacuum named slav doesn't do a good job i.e misses some rubbish or gets stuck or is not up to scratch she'll get out the stick vacuum and vacuum in front of slav to remind them that they are replaceable and to make them work harder and pick up their game

yeah i like that well this one's a bit sideways as well then This one's from Nina.

She goes, I'm not nominating myself as an extreme empath.

I have a giant stuffed teddy bear in my room called Oscar.

Every time me and my boyfriend go to have sex, I make sure there's a towel over Oscar's head as we both watch us.

He knows what's going on.

I assume if the eyes work, the ears will the ears work as well.

God, I'd love to see.

You'd just love to see it from Oscar's point of view, wouldn't you?

Towel go on.

And when do they decide it's safe to take the towel off?

Like get dressed again, or can you be nude?

Hey, isn't this gathering momentum?

Which is very exciting.

Of course, we're talking about a conference for all.

There's a cool new conference, no matter your beers.

Come on, come on.

The conference's so nice, you can deduct it twice.

Again, you can't deduct it.

Twice at the end of the day.

Check with your financial advisor.

With all of this, you should.

Yeah, with all of it.

But from our angle, again, it looks like you can.

No, it doesn't.

I'm just saying, man, people can report what things look like from their angle.

Yes, that's true.

If someone gets on TV and goes, I took this vitamin and it felt good for me.

They're not saying we've done testing.

They're saying it happened to feel good for me.

Yes, that is true.

But even from our angle, what are we seeing where you can deduct it twice?

You don't know, but you're at a completely different angle.

We sit in a triangle in here.

So from your angle.

My angle, my angle.

I'm at the tip of the isosceles.

And from my angle, things are looking good for a double deduction.

That's how I see it from my angle.

No, obviously, you can see it completely different from your angle.

If you were to take a colleague, they would both account.

That's true.

That's true.

That's maybe the reason why.

Well, hey, this is, I mean, we've got a huge news.

We know it's on the Gold Coast at Royal Pines.

I'll tell you what we actually have huge news for.

We got in early this morning to do my least favorite thing.

it's like i was doing the ice bucket challenge this morning we came in early to do a actual proper meeting like where you can't muck around and you actually have to talk about like you like work through a checklist

and it was all about yeah the logistics of concon like actually how's it going to happen what room are we in what do you think what do you think took up the most amount of chat uh well i think you have to go through the specifics you have to pick the actual rooms yes because this there's a lot of costs associated with this don't worry we're not gonna we won't bore you with the numbers we just want you to know we're absorbing the costs and we're trying to deliver a fair price ticket that covers these costs but it's also it's the offerings anda it's the offerings what are we we're trying to create for people a great experience we had the choice out of the royal point room or the prince room jack

and we've decided on the more expensive prince room the higher cost was three and a half grand more but it did have a much bigger screen okay to fit more people in so more ticket sales or is that the same i don't think No, it will

have to find ways to absorb that.

Now, three and a half grand for just a bigger screen.

It looked like this is why you weren't invited to the meeting, Jack, because we knew you'd be a penny pincher and

we don't have time to pinch pennies at this stage.

We want to give people an amazing conference.

Jack, it felt like you know, it felt like I'm releasing a startup app down the road in that other room.

And in this room, it was like, oh my God, Apple are releasing their next biggest product.

Now, remember, yes, that might creep ticket prices up incrementally, but the more you spend, the more you deduct.

There was one topic that I felt we took way too long on.

If this is about biscuits,

we did not take too long on this.

Because here's the,

I think to give people a bit of context,

I remember one of the other venues that got proposed, biscuits were included.

Because there was a tea and coffee section.

On the actual, it's going to go across two days.

I think so Friday afternoon will be registration and welcome networking, like unstructured networking networking

at a bar, welcome drinks and registration.

We've chosen the hydrate bar, by the way.

Okay.

All in the same venue.

Yep.

Yep.

Give you the love it, Jack.

So then the next morning is where we start the actual conference, right?

So there's the morning session one, then there'll be a break, then there'll be morning session two, then there'll be lunch, then the potential third session that we've talked about, which may or may not be scrapped in favor of unstructured networking.

Yes.

Slash golf, depending on how we feel.

At this stage, it really looks like session three is going ahead.

Yes.

Do need to warn people, it could be cancelled.

Have booked the tea time at 1.30, but Josh,

precautionary.

Few is a backup.

Let's make that a guarantee there.

Guaranteed two morning sessions.

Very likely three, but crazy things do happen once you get into the swing of conferences, and you must move with your crowd.

I remember you showed when you had the spreadsheet where you're like, we could go to this place, we could go to that place.

It was my recollection that tea and coffee coffee was provided for delegates of the conference and biscuits were included as part of that.

Now, then you told me this morning, not at Royal Pines.

No, it's $5 per person

for the biscuits.

Five bucks a head for biscuits, Jack.

That is a lot.

Isn't it?

Especially

when a tube of Oreos is like $3.

So then Hayme was like, okay, we need to give people enough time to eat as many biscuits.

No.

So I said, okay, well, if they're going to be dumb enough to charge us a per head biscuit tea,

to me, that says biscuit buffet.

Get your biscuits for you.

But that's not $5 for a biscuit.

That's $5 biscuit fee.

So, okay, if we're rushing people through and have only 10 minutes for biscuit, they're not going to eat enough biscuits.

So I suggested that the morning session start at 10 a.m.

but you can arrive at 9 for

fatigue coffee and biscuits.

Because you need to get $5 worth, you need to be eating

a tray or more of premium

i still think the rocb pines resort are going to come out on top here by charging us five bucks a head for biscuits so i want to make sure that we get them back and we can get enough biscuit time i morning gigs can be tricky like energy wise that's why you know comedy venues and stuff you often you know you go at night 10 o'clock everyone's had a few drinks great show Coming out on stage at 10 in the morning, especially if there's been welcome drinks the night before.

Are you seriously telling me you don't want a crowd there that's had eight coffees and 14 biscuits they will be pumped up they will be absolutely buzzing yes i do worry and then i and i and again ando you're the one that's actually making the phone calls

Can I be on the call for the biscuit call?

Because I worry that they'll just do like,

you know, scotch fingers or like an arrowroot or something and you'll just let that go.

You'll just say, you're just going to say yes.

No.

And that's not the sort of biscuit that I'd imagined for our delegates.

Especially if everyone has half a scotch finger and then that's it.

And they said, oh, sorry, biscuits exhausted.

And it's 9, 10 a.m.

and we've still got 50 minutes of meandering around with no biscuits.

Yeah, that's so true.

Then we come out

to a biscuit hungry mob.

Yeah.

And that's, and that's really hard to then get some business chat.

on top of that.

So yeah, biscuits before business.

And I think.

So we should we name that session biscuits before business because that's got a nice ring to it.

Okay.

So there is a nine till ten.

It's almost session zero, isn't it?

Before this first session, nine till ten AFL did opening rounds.

Round zero.

Round zero, yeah.

And could you do, I don't know if, like, as people are buying tickets and say what line of work they work in, also put in your favorite biscuit as a suggestion.

Another drop-down menu.

You want you want for me to think that we spent too much time on this this morning?

Premium biscuits too.

Premium biscuits.

Premier.

Reading a loud carddy bears.

Reading it loud and clear.

I'll

the call.

I'll record the call.

I'll play it back for you guys to make sure that you're happy enough with how I negotiated the biscuits.

I want that to be the big topic of conversation in that first hour.

How's the biscuits?

Have you seen the biscuit buffet?

Like, have you seen the spread?

Then 10 till 10.45 session one.

Then we've got morning tea.

No one should be hungry, but

they will be coming off a bit of a biscuit.

I've actually got the selection.

We're allowed two from this selection, but I'm scared to...

well, it's such a long selection.

But do you want me to quickly run through it?

Because we spent a lot of time on the biscuits.

I actually think people will be hungry.

They'll be coming.

You know, you get quite a sugar crush.

Just brewed coffee and tea selection, orange juice and water, and we get a choice of two items.

Okay, do you want sweet selection, raw energy selection, or savory selection?

I think we go a savory selection.

Okay.

Plus an agreement.

We can pick one from either.

Like we can pick one from each selection.

No, I think we go an agreement, handshake, or otherwise, that they will not hoard the biscuits.

So I think that's also a danger here that they we force them to buy so many premium biscuits and then they keep them for their staff we want all the biscuits laid out again at

morning tea so we have a savory selection and you get another pack at the biscuits okay well just the same pile of biscuits but if they've done their biscuit purchasing correctly there should be another round of biscuits

i'm reading your complete on the pizza you don't want anyone the whole day really to say i can't get a biscuit

one of the main pizzas as as a feedback to just be like oh my god and the biscuits yes you should have seen how many biscuits they had and the quality of okay quickly then we've got to pick two from the savory section baked croissant filled with tomato and cheese mini quiche assortment no

little beef pies yum yeah okay pumpkin and roasted almond samosa well let's do little beef pies and a veggie option for samosas pies and samosa yeah that's good pies and samosas yum and biscuits then after morning tea we come into the um the second session of the morning and that'll hit us around 10.4.

Is that around 11?

11.15.

Yep, 11.15 to midday.

That's two sessions concluded.

Then we will have an hour break, I think, or an hour and a half, really

for lunch before the possible third session slash unstructured networking.

They're not doing lunch, are they?

There's no restaurant food there.

I had an idea.

This was actually something that Troy Kinney, mate of ours, found

on Instagram, just sent it to me this morning.

There's a company, there's like a burger chain in the States that lists all its burger items.

Every menu item it lists, it names it kind of like after stationery.

So it looks like a tax deduction.

So a double cheeseburger is called like a silicon phone case.

You know, and like a thick shake is kind of like, you know, wireless headphone protector.

Yeah, yeah.

And so everything.

So if we could get a food truck to turn up for people that do want to have lunch there, if we get a food truck to turn turn up or something like that.

And they agreed to change

their menu for the day.

Instead of tacos, yeah, it's like reams of paper

and stationery pack.

Then that's another chance for a tax device.

Okay, so named after

we'll make sure that's available for people after the conference for lunch, depending, and then hopefully they're full heading into the possible third session

in case we declare that that one's not going ahead.

This is all going to happen in November, everybody.

The date will be

drum roll please Jim.

The date will be

the quickest you've ever gotten

the 15th and 16th

of November.

Awesome.

Friday Saturday.

Friday, Saturday, obviously into Sunday as well, head back Sunday.

That's all tax deductible the whole weekend.

Registrations on the Friday, welcome drinks on the Friday as well.

Registrations from what, two, ham?

Yeah, registration from two on the Friday afternoon.

We'll do a welcome drinks.

I think we were saying four o'clock, four o'clock welcome drinks.

All of that will be included in the ticket price.

That's the exciting thing.

Plus biscuits.

So

you look at this now and it's like, I know we'll probably have a solid ticket price by

next week.

Great.

And we'll...

And there's merch.

You said that everyone's going to get the

tote bag.

And you get the tote bag with the lanyard, the certificate of attendance, the Con Con condoms, all the different, and a few other surprise merch pieces there.

So it really is.

You throw in now the prospect of being a world leader in biscuit provisions and you're looking at an amazing, you're looking at an amazing event.

Tickets will go on sale next Thursday, and we'll have more details in the pod.

And I think we've given Arnits, if they are our preferred biscuit supplier, enough time to start adjusting output at their factories.

Absolutely.

Thanks for listening.

The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

Catch up or contribute at Hamishandandy.com.

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