2024 Ep 267 - We Caught a Live Weasel

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a listener production

activate your internet because the Hey Mission Andy podcast starts in three

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one

Ahoy to me quirts.

Quirts.

I am a precious rock.

Sometimes used to tell the time.

No, not quartz.

Quirt.

I thought you'd pronounce it.

With a Z, yes.

Ahoy to me, Dvorak.

Ahoy?

Jacko.

Are we dragons again?

No, I'm a Zerty.

Are we hay fever medication?

We're not the most popular one.

The most popular one is QWERTY.

Oh, we're different types of people.

We're different.

Yes.

Who doesn't do QWERTY?

Central and Southeast Europe don't do QWERTY.

They switch the Z and the Y.

Azerte is France and Belgium.

Cool.

And then Dvorak was a layout painted in 1936 from August Dvorak.

He claimed it was faster and more economical than the QWERTY clearboard and that it required less finger motion, but was a failure.

Do you know what?

We hang a lot of shit on Mike for making this tweet.

I feel like that's a good one.

Mike, well done.

Mike's happy.

Because Because that's the level.

That's the level.

The level is like, oh, we...

Mike just wiped his brow.

25 hours of work.

Hundreds of prelim rounds.

Just whittling him down what one will make it to wear.

Ahoy also to Caleb in Canada.

Use the very easy-to-use system, hammystandy.com to tell us what he's up to.

Poor thing.

Ahoy boys, this is Caleb, a Canadian currently living in Seattle.

I love the concept of ConCon as an opportunity to both sharpen and broaden my skills.

I hope you will consider including those of us who live overseas by live streaming the event.

It occurs to me that a conference with substantial live stream audience might be less likely to be falsely accused of facilitating tax evasion.

Gusto to my brother Isaac for introducing me to your fine podcast during your most recent mandated break.

You have my respect for continuing your important work under such oppressive government policies.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And gusto to all of you.

Don't appreciate the evasion word used.

But I think the fact that he said falsely accused, that would be so false.

Yes.

An absolute whopper of a false accusation.

We will later on in the show reveal where ConCom will be.

But Haim, you wanted the start of today's show.

Now, gents, I actually wanted to talk about something that I thought we'd put to bed.

I thought we'd sort of combed over this.

I'd like to ask for the top of the show for this.

Combed over this and be like, okay, I think we've done it.

Some more information has come to light um or more of just there is still a loose end and i know we usually do the loose ends at the end of the year but i was like let's let's see if we can do something here jack

we all remember the quarter zip golf jumper debacle okay yes where magic mic lands his jumper to you no he he just left it behind

i played golf with him that's right he left it behind he started you started wearing it you liked it i liked it he asked for it back some six weeks went past You didn't return it because you liked it.

You found out he got it for free from this golf brand.

You emailed them and said, here's, we've got a problem.

I really like it.

He wants it back.

Why don't you send him a new jumper?

I keep this one.

In fact, can't actually have a size bigger.

That's all correct.

But then you got sent the size bigger, but still kept marks.

You still had mics.

Yes, but he, but also he got

a new one plus more.

Yeah, okay.

What do you mean, plus more?

Well, they sent him more, like, so they sent him the same jumper and then they sent him, I think, pants and a shirt.

Oh, right.

So I didn't know this bit.

So out of jealousy, you were like, well, you don't need your old jumper then.

If you've now got access to pants, I'm not giving you your old jumper back.

As we discussed, for some reason, after all the dust settled, due to, I believe, the term was a wrinkle in the system, you decided that ownership of the initial jumper just stayed with you.

So,

first question,

has that jumper been returned?

No, it hasn't.

Okay, I know it hasn't because Mike went down to Melbourne.

He's Sydney-based, goes down to Melbourne, played golf with you about a week ago.

Perfect opportunity to have it.

He goes to me, I'm not going to say anything about the jumper.

Well,

that was going to be my number one argument.

He didn't say anything about it.

It's his jumper.

Yeah, but

he didn't say a hoot about it.

Okay.

Mike goes to me.

I'm not going to say anything about the jumper.

I'll see if Jack brings it to the course.

Okay.

Mike also, you may have noticed, deliberately went in a t-shirt

i didn't notice that how am i how am i to know that that is a signal so i'm texting him going i'm texting him going how's it going he goes hasn't he hasn't

yeah and and mike goes i'm genuinely chilly and then mike's texting me going occasionally i'll rub my arms

i know you didn't notice any of this you had a jumper on you were nice and snug yeah but fair is fair he didn't mention it and so you you know, you would have only been giving it back if you bought it to the course, right?

Yes, and you obviously didn't bring it to the course, so I'll give you a pass on that one.

What did you do after golf?

Uh, then he came back to my house for a little bit.

Oh, yes, good point, yeah, good point,

good point, where's the change?

You can see the moment Jeff realizes,

and that's where the jumper is,

but again, like he's never, he's he was not saying he's cold, he's not saying saying he wants cold.

He was rubbing his arms going, bruh, chilly.

I never saw that.

So I never saw him being cold.

And it was like 17 degrees.

He was like,

bitch.

He's like, well, yes, I've been there before myself.

It's not a nice feeling.

I myself have many jumpers, so I don't have to face that problem anymore.

He can have the jumper back.

He just didn't mention it.

He didn't mention anything.

I thought if he wanted it back, then he would have said it.

And also, I happen to know that he got a jumper replacement, exactly the same, plus more.

So his life hasn't changed.

Plus more.

He doesn't deserve his old stuff.

No, he does if he wants it.

So we happen to be in Sydney today.

Yeah.

Did you bring it?

I didn't.

I didn't bring it, but it's the same reason why I wouldn't, I thought he'd forgotten about it.

I thought everybody had forgotten about it.

So

if you had instructions, bring Mike's jumper, you would have bought it.

Then I would just have to get it back from a friend of mine, and then I would give it to Mike.

yes but i didn't say for keeps i just let go

tristan

why did you give it to a friend um

because i got my new one they they gave me an extra lunch i had the lounge and then i played golf with tristan and he was honestly he was a bit cold

you can talk

to me a certain rank of friend to give it a jumper but not if you own it.

It also proves that you can recognise people that are cold.

You saw him shaking his arms and going, brrrr.

That's amazing.

Okay.

Well, so I'll get it back off, Tristan.

I'll get it to Mike next time he's in town or next time I'm in Sydney.

But what's this rule

about that?

You have to be told or like you have to be reminded.

If he was cold or if he wanted it back, all he had to do was say, just communicate.

Okay.

So just to be clear, if the instruction is given, hey, give the jumper to Mike, you will then do it.

Yes.

That's interesting because Mike obviously knows the guys from Fellas Golf.

That's the brand of jumper.

We're talking about here, Fellas Golf.

And he said, so he's telling them this story.

Yeah, didn't get it, but Jack didn't give it back.

And I was saying I'm cold and I was rubbing my.

Then one of the guys from Fellas Golf texts Mike, and I've got the screenshot here of the text that goes, that's really interesting.

To make things even better, we sent Jack two extra zip tops telling him to pass these on Daily Mission.

And

he has been meaning to.

And

you have four.

You have four of me.

Three that aren't yours.

One's Mike's, one with instructions to pass on Daimy Shane.

And you just said yourself, if I had instructions to pass on jumpers, I would.

I've been meaning to.

You'll be happy to know yours are still in the plastic wrapping, so they haven't been worn.

When were you going to mention this?

It is weekly.

I know.

I know it was weeks ago, and I saw them this week, and I thought, must do that.

Must do that.

Weeks ago.

I don't have them here today.

You're coming to my house for dinner tonight.

Yeah, definitely next time I see you.

Just got to get him off, Tristan.

Just got to get him out of the warehouse.

We actually have Mike from Fellas Golf.

I just thought of the mic.

Yeah, this is not Magic Mike.

This is Mike from the Golf brand.

Mike, have you heard the debacle that's playing out here i have not no i've just picked you up now um sorry mike well we're just um first of all andy and i want to say thank you so much for enclose sending to jack um two quarter zip tops from your golf brand i would like to say thank you as well mike

we know

we know uh glad to hear they've actually made it to

golfers we thought was uh no no no no no no sorry no no

mike we we want to say thank you for sending them our way but unfortunately they are intercepted by world-famous jumper hoarder, Jack Post.

They never made it, mate.

I thought this was a thank you call.

Well, unfortunately, we'd love it to be a thank you call, but we have absolutely no idea what it's like to be in one of those jumpers.

A feeling that people close to Jack, unless they're Tristan, are very familiar with.

Mike, no, I have thank you for trusting me.

And I...

They're still in their plastic covering in their bags.

Not an achievement.

No, I'm saying that they're coming to you.

I'm sure this is explainable, Jack.

So why hadn't I

missed an answer?

I put them in a cupboard to keep them safe and I forgot, out of sight, out of mind, I forgot they were in there until recently.

By coincidence, I saw them this week and then remembered that I must distribute them and I will.

Do the right thing, Jack.

Come on, mate.

I mean, would you like to return to

your jacket for Jack?

You can't retract You actually can.

This is so rarely done in the weaseling world, but it is possible.

Mike, hearing this,

the disregard that Jack has for fellas as a brand, not passing on gifts, hoarding them, stealing them.

Tough for you, Mike, because he obviously loves the product, but is it the kind of association you want?

We'll give you three seconds to have a think about it and then we'd like a final answer.

Would you like to retract my jacket from Jack?

Yes, absolutely.

Well, if you can't can't be retracted, that's not yours anymore.

You can't retract it.

So, Jack, you now have four jackets in your house.

It's been war still retracted.

You have four jackets, none of them are yours.

I'm doing for me, Andy.

One's Benjamin Marks, and one is Mike from Fellas.

He's retracted it.

Thanks, Mark.

Thank you, boys.

And

as every week goes by, I notice you getting, you know, you peek and trough.

Like, are you relaxed?

Are you comfortable?

I feel pretty happy lately.

And that's why an alarm went off.

My control HQ was like, let's see if we can upset him.

Everything is neat and practical.

Because that's the way he likes it.

But what if it wasn't upset Andy?

Here's one I was actually thinking about this morning.

This is a barometer.

I was like, I I wonder if this is another one that is a good decider between me and Andy.

And I don't know.

I'd be interested to know where you sit on this too, Jacko.

Two-liter milk container.

So the plastic kind of jug container.

Surely, when you take the lid off of that, you use your milk.

Surely you squeeze it back on.

Oh, I hate that.

No, you screwed that back on.

Oh my gosh.

Who screwed that?

No, I've never heard of the squeeze back on.

You just jam it back on and it jumps the ridges and you might time it.

No, I know.

You might do a quarter turn at the end.

Do you not just press it back on?

No, no, no.

Who has got the time mate?

Oh, my God.

And that nothing is.

It could hurt the seal.

Yeah.

And

you're not tipping your milk upside down.

Well, some of us have smaller fridges that need to lie their milk in on their side.

So I wouldn't risk.

It's not you.

No.

Unfortunately, small fridge in the rental that Becca and I are in.

But I still, even regardless of

running a vertical or horizontal mill will be flipping out of this so you unscrew the mill and then what you put softly on the top and then

screw

it.

I didn't even know pushing on was an option.

Jack, start pushing.

You'll never go back.

Because you pop it because it's a really thin piece of it.

I've seen you do it.

I've seen you do it.

Bet you have.

That's why I've been invited back for a while.

I noticed.

Ruined your shirt and all the blood pouring down your face.

What's he doing?

All right, great.

Key two.

Key two.

Keito, you've got something to upset, Andy.

Ahoy, boys.

Ahoy, Ketu.

So my boyfriend and I share a car,

quite a common man of us, actually.

Very common man.

And we've got two identical sets of car keys, but one of them's been flat for like a year or so now.

Yeah.

So we still keep them both in the key bowl next to the front door.

And when we leave the apartment, we just kind of grab one and hope for the best.

I just think in today's...

We're on the third floor of the apartment block, so it's a long walk of shame if we get it wrong.

Oh, if it's not the right key.

That is awful.

The other thing is.

Why do you do all this stuff, Andy?

This admin, like, we just me and Keitu and the rest of us, we just don't have time.

Just sit down and be like, I need to know where to get a key battery change.

Yeah, like Sunday afternoon, I'm going to go and get the key battery change.

Just like, forget about it, mate.

I go to my cupboard of batteries of various.

You wouldn't have a battery for the key remote.

I do.

Yeah.

And then that can be replenished by putting it on the

even that on a Saturday afternoon.

Like, there's so many better things to do.

Yeah, but it's just as long if you do it once, just as long as Kitu having to walk back to her apartment because she's got the flat key.

Unless you get it right every time from now on.

And I would believe that I could do that.

Thanks, Kitu.

Angus.

Yep.

Angus, have you got something to upset, Andy?

Hi, boys.

How are we?

Hi, very good.

Holy to you.

Gusto to you.

Just a quick congrats, Haim, on the humongous pee as well.

I can only imagine duress you must be under every day.

Thanks for blind.

Thanks so much for blinding.

Why didn't you want to put that compliment?

I obviously, there's more to me than that, but I appreciate your interest in science.

What upsets you?

Yeah, so I work in an office and I'm sending emails pretty much all day, every day.

Obviously, when you open a new email, your email signature auto-populates at the bottom.

You've got your name, address, phone number.

Now, for some reason, all of it's in size 12 Arial, but just the street address of our office is in size 13 Alvetica.

No, not for me.

And no matter how many times I change it and re-save it, it just always goes back.

So I have to select it all, copy it, go into a Word doc, paste it, reformat it, go back into the email, paste it back.

It's probably 50, 60 times a day.

And you do do that?

Yeah.

Well, if I get a re-he said what he needed to say.

No, I think he's a you.

He's a you.

He can't handle.

Can you tell one point difference of font?

Who cares?

Who's reading the bottom of someone's email signature anyway?

Elsa.

Exactly, Jack.

Who cares?

He also had a different font.

So that was part of it.

But it would bother me.

But just doing it every day, that wouldn't happen.

I'd get to the bottom of that.

I'm saying is Angus, you are me, but more of a white or a yellow belt.

Certainly not a black belt level organizer.

Sarah, upset Ando?

Yes, I think I've got a story to upset ando very good um when i was in my 20s i lived in a share house with a bunch of friends and one day um one of my friends in the room next to me came home with a very large water bed

and uh i thought oh god here's trouble anyway i decided to help her put it together so we set about putting the wooden base together we put it in the middle of the room so that we could access all four corners and uh it was huge and we put the bladder in and filled it up with water.

And then, of course, it never occurred to us that it would then weigh one ton.

Yeah, no.

Congrats on the SB.

That is, yeah, you can't move them once they're full.

It's about 200 kilos of water.

Not budget an inch.

No.

And it was partially obscuring the ability to open the door.

It was crooked

on an angle in the middle of the room, and that's where it had to stay.

That was funny.

Floor space is floor space.

It doesn't matter in the room.

That is still taking up the same percentage of the room.

You know where it is.

More convenient, if anything.

You're quicker to get to bed when you get to bed.

You're never too far from bed.

You never have to walk all the way across the room.

Water beds are

wobbly at the best of times to keep things on them.

So if they're not surrounded by at least one barrier, surely the pillows, for instance, at the head, would just fall off the back constantly.

Yeah, well, I guess they did.

Oh, gosh.

Oh, well, Sarah, thank you so much.

Really appreciate it.

Tess.

Tess, ahoy to you.

Ahoy, ahoy.

I have a little opposite Andy for you.

Last year, I was crashing with some mates in Glasgow, and I happened to be there for the end of their lease.

So I was giving them a hand with the cleaning and whatnot.

And they had a fully carpeted flat.

So I go, oh, well, where's your vacuum?

And they go, oh, we don't actually have a vacuum.

We've just been using this.

And they pull out a dust pan and brush.

For carpet.

You can sweep carpets.

If it's a tight weave, you can sweep carpet.

So, yeah,

for the year, every couple of months and the floor got a bit crummy, they'd just give it a little sweep.

Rent is paradise.

That sounds like a landlord problem, to be honest.

Oh, definitely.

And you know, of course, they wanted their bond back, so we had to make sure we used the brush to create some nice strokes in the carpet to give the illusion of a freshly vacuumed floor.

Jess

30 for, you know, university days and weeks.

They've got something.

They've got something, but yeah, I'm not thrushing.

Can't you got time for one more?

Mike, wrap us up.

Michael, ahoy to you.

Ahoy, boys.

Gusto to you.

Number six.

Gusto to you, Michael.

Do you have something to upset, Andy?

I hope so.

So my house has eight windows, which are all winder windows, but we only have five winders.

Of the winders we do have, one of them is not permanently attached, but I always forget which ones have the permanent ones.

So, if you ever want to open a window and a winder's not there, you just start walking in and out of rooms trying to find the floater.

I didn't know winders could come and go.

I know, I think you mean the winder windows, like it's got the little handle that you rotate and it opens and closes on the other side of the fly screen.

Yes, yes, I understand.

And so, yeah, I had these growing up too, and they do come off sometimes.

Yes, and then you can move them to the other ones that have come off.

You're meant to replace it.

That's so annoying.

So, that is so annoying.

So, you like essentially, like you have to go to another room to get the winder to then come back.

That one might be stuck on.

And

you might forget which winder.

I think we actually ran a similar system as I was growing up.

That's right, exactly.

I'm just going in the range of time to figure out where the winder is.

And I'm just like, oh, you know what?

It might be in the bedroom.

It might not be.

Oh, well, if it's not there, just go to the baby room.

Just keep running around.

You'll find one.

Just buy three more winders.

Oh, what a luxury.

What a luxury you have in life to just be walking around buying winders, hitting them.

Probably a draw of extra ones.

Unbelievable.

I just don't know where you think you get the time.

Haim

and Jack,

I've made a mistake and I don't know whether the person knows about it yet.

I don't know whether they'll ever know about it,

but it's sitting in the back of their mind.

They may be aware of it already and not telling me about it.

It happened to Steve Curry, great actor from Castle Fame.

Have you ever called Steve Curry either of you?

Yeah, probably.

Very long message, bank message.

Very long.

Like I'm talking.

I feel like I just

haven't left a voice message in five years.

Maybe is it to weed people out?

Because who wants to listen to a voice?

That's like he's filibustering.

I think so.

I think you're right.

And I'm going to say over a minute.

Maybe online.

That's what what it felt like.

Here's what happened.

Not proud of this.

I was calling him before going for a little window to the loo.

Yep.

And I got the message bank and it was going for

20 seconds.

And I'm like, oh, I'll hear this out, but he isn't picked up.

I'm not going to leave a message, but I'll be interested to see how he finishes this really long voicemail message.

So I actually went into the toilet and sat down.

Nothing wrong with that.

Right.

And I was just listening to it out

and then thought I'd hung up.

Yeah.

Then you left the statement.

Then I

released, like, again,

familiar with the action.

Opened the doors very loud and looked down and just saw seconds ticking over on my, and went, oh, and hung up.

At least you got the O in.

Because if you'd said, that's right, or something like that, at least it at least had a noise of surprise, which gives you some leg to stand on to go, hey, I'm sorry about that.

Rather than, yeah, just going, like, you know, like whispering into the mic, like, yeah, and there's more with that cake.

So I've got this situation now with Steve where.

Has it been talked about?

It hasn't been talked about.

I don't know whether, like you said, he might be filibustering.

He might be leaving such a long voicemail message that he never expects anyone to leave.

He would be like, the only people that leave messages are Pocketiles.

Yeah.

So I thought we could call him now.

Do you want to hear them?

Do we hear the message?

Well,

he'll either pick it up, pick up, and then we can just say, and I don't.

We're now asking everyone that listens to the podcast to listen to Steve Curry's voicemail message.

If we get the message, are we listening to the whole thing?

That's also.

Yeah, let's do it.

People probably are interested.

Okay, yeah.

And then we can time it and see.

Nothing wrong with the call in the toilet, by the way.

There have been so many times where I've used the phrase, no, mate, I'm in the garage.

Going to myself, geez, it's that obvious.

The echo in you.

Okay, call him.

Hello.

Is that you, Steve Curry?

It is.

Oh, Tamish Nandy here, mate.

How are you, Cars?

Oh, good day, mate.

Hello, fellas.

How are you?

We thought we were going to get your voicemail message.

Oh, well, I'm sitting here at work and there are two people looking at me.

Sort of funny because I probably shouldn't be on the phone.

Is that unprofessional?

Am I unprofessional?

I think it would speaks to a lot i don't know what job you're at but it tells us a lot about um how keen you were for a mental break from whatever was going on i'm putting up fence posts in adelaide so um

in trust that's yeah mate i'm glad we've got you here cousin because andy andy has something to talk to you about something sorry to bother you really quick in fact i'd like to start by saying did you recently receive a strange message from andy A strange message from Andy?

I don't

recall one.

Let's have a look.

Not a text message.

Do you listen to your voicemail messages?

Oh, I try to.

I probably haven't listened to your one.

Is that bad?

That's fine.

How long ago was it?

It would have been last week.

Oh, no.

I better have it listened to it.

No, no, no, no.

You don't have to because Andy's worried that he listened to your voicemail message.

Yeah.

While he was on the toilet, he just wanted to get to the end of the message to see what you'd use as your message, thought he'd hung up, hadn't hung up, may have left somewhat of a political statement

as a message on your voicemail.

Wow, that's what he thought of my voicemail message.

It's basically just one big dump.

Yeah,

big splash.

You made a big splash in his voicemail.

All I wanted to say is, you know, listen to it now.

No, don't listen to it.

And

make it your ringtone.

I'm going to listen to it right now.

That's brilliant.

Okay.

Can you text Andy back and tell him if it came through as loud as he feels it did?

Was it solid?

Was it kind of how it was?

Don't leave the witness.

You'll be able to tell.

I'll see you, Cuz.

Teammate, back to work.

Jumping back in here.

Just got a text message from Steve Curry.

What did he say?

Yep, got all of that.

Sounds like a champagne cork.

Clearly, getting plenty of fiber.

But that just, that actually, I think, speaks to your

testament that you were like, I have to go.

So it's obviously a huge pressure buildup.

Yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't like, oh, I could go any time in the next now and 40 minutes.

There was the window.

The window was there.

The body had made its urges known and you must listen to the body.

I was going to say, I think he can share the voicemail over text, but then I thought, we don't, we don't need to

I think we're at the stage now where we're making our listeners just listen to us do shit.

But do we want to hear his voicemail?

Shall I ring him back?

Shall I text him back and say, don't pick up?

And you can see how long it was, or are we not interested in that?

Maybe we feel, Jack.

I kind of feel like we're moving on.

Oh, well, after step.

Wow, your attic is so dark.

Dark.

I know, right?

It's the perfect place to stream horror movies.

Play me.

What movie is that?

I haven't pressed play yet.

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Hey, it's time for an update on this.

There's a cool new conference, no matter your beers.

Come on, come on.

The conference's so nice, you can deduct it twice.

Concon.

Stick with your professionals.

Before deducting anything twice, although, as we always say, from where we sit, looks good.

Coming together, conference, conference, a conference for all where you will be able to do a fully tax-deductible trip, learn vital things about your business.

Network.

Network, absolutely network.

We'll make time, make sure there is time for networking.

And we're going to provide an experience at ConCon that if you were to get audited, you would celebrate.

You'd be like, yes, you can't wait.

You write back to the ATO, can't wait.

Could we do it earlier?

I'll come over now.

And you would just be so excited for them to go.

And what's this thing here, ConCong?

Well, I'm bloody glad you asked because

nothing's been more relevant to my professional development than this.

Why'd you deduct it to us?

That was a bit of a

jingle told me I could.

Fair enough.

Yes.

Yep.

No, my accountant said not to do that.

And again, stress with check with your own guest.

It was such a catchy song.

It was done in a sort of a slow rap.

I can get you a copy if you need.

But I don't know if a slow rap will help.

Ando, on that, before we announce, I know we're about to announce the location and content.

Location.

Can I throw something in an idea I just had earlier today?

We should give people, since we're talking about what would happen if the ATO had a look at this, just to keep everything very above board.

We should, once we know, because the way it's going to happen is like once you register, I want to come, you tell us what business you're in and we'll include at least 30 seconds of content about your business about your business so it's all everything's legit

we should make up a certificate of attendance yeah exactly i came to concon and i learned about now we either have all like 200 of the topics we're discussing or well we'll have a brochure like because or we just write in for your attendance what you wanted to learn about okay so you if you're like oh i come from meat packaging you're like okay great that's what you i came to concon and i learned about meat packaging technologies.

That's more of the thing they give you in grade one than at a conference.

Trust me.

In an audit, it all helps.

I think the ATA will go, is this handwritten?

Yeah, by one of the conference organizers.

But have you probably, have you ever been to a conference?

But I've never been to one.

Have you been to a conference?

This is my what it sounds like.

Yes, I've been to a conference.

and you do often get you actually when i well this is quite a long time ago i went to a professional um developed professional skills development conference when i worked in video easy

in the late 90s we weren't oh my god you didn't get paid for going um you didn't get paid for going but you were allowed

I think actually, no, we were allowed to claim our transport there and back.

We allowed to get reimbursed for our transport.

And I think they gave us like $15 or something to get there and back.

And I caught the train because I was like, this is a pretty good deal.

Catch the train, make like 13 bucks.

It was the late 90s.

I was in year 11, I think, and went to the Video Easy.

Two things I remember about the Video Easy conference.

Number one, this was all Bill at Own Video Easy franchises.

And there was a bit of like...

DVDs were established by then.

And so it was shifting away from VHS.

But there were rumors that you could, maybe,

you know, have you heard of the internet?

The internet's coming.

Could, would, would you ever be able to watch a movie over the internet?

No, some of the, yeah, this high-powered, highly paid consultant stood up and promised this ain't happening.

They've looked into it.

Don't worry about it.

Double down.

VideoEasy franchises are safe as houses.

You've got nothing to worry about, guys.

Remember that?

And

there was someone, a customer service presenter that told us that if you look into someone's right, when you're making eye contact with someone, always look into their right eye why it it I don't remember what was like it's more direct don't just look at the bridge of their nose whatever look in their right eye

and it's a deeper connection yes which I still remember today because I at the cellular conference I've been to yeah and so yeah when someone was like looking at new releases I go like and what are you

what are you hoping to look what are you looking for tonight action thriller romance what do you want and they were hopefully like

a 16 year old is very

connection so yeah man i've been and i got a certificate i got a certificate for going to that yeah but i think that speaks more about

the conference went to but that's good no we can have a certificate

this information will be important um we should stress to everybody that you have to get yourselves there that happens with every conference yeah not the video easy deal is not on the table we're not giving you 15 bucks to get there you get yourselves there because then that you'll have to book your own accommodation we'll be able to get the dates um we will have there'll be some kind of welcome welcome drinks or we'll have some kind of networking opportunity and then we will do uh have a conference which we think is going to be two sessions here there'll be two sessions there'll be a 20 to 25 minute networking break in between them

they'll be in that'll be in the morning yeah at the way and i think we're talking about maybe a saturday morning yeah this is like the loose schedule for this so that's saturday morning two sessions of conferencing now there'll be a third afternoon session that's five hours

we will we i think we reserve the right at the moment we could that could be an official in the auditorium session, but the organizers might also, at the time, decide that impromptu freestyle networking is more appropriate.

So I'll make that call on the day.

But at the moment, we're looking like three sessions, two guaranteed in the auditorium.

One TBC probably will be in the auditorium.

But there is that chance that it becomes an unstructured networking session.

But it's a three-session conference.

It's a three-session conference.

Yes.

Pretty good.

Pretty good.

Two sessions guaranteed.

Two sessions guaranteed in the auditorium.

Organisers.

I think the hallmark of a good conference is someone that can obviously take the temperature of the room and can just go, okay, you guys seem like you've

feeling.

You've learned all you can learn in here.

Now we've got to

exercise the muscles of networking.

Yes.

Maybe five hours outside or at the bar or something would be better.

Yeah.

Better spent.

And so that's what I like about these organizers.

So in the ticket will be, you know, those three sessions, access to those three sessions.

Yeah, as you said, tea, coffee, welcome drink.

Yeah.

I know a lot of the venues we've looked at.

You've been dealing a little bit on the business side of this.

I've been doing the admin.

Someone mentioned biscuits.

Yeah, this should, like, the one we've picked, I thought had really good conference snacks.

The basics with the tea and coffee available, I liked the, you know, the trestle table with a white tablecloth out the front.

That was specified.

Yeah, that's nice the the list of ads the list of things you get which we'll do next week uh as we tie it all together the biscuits just as a little teaser yep we won't say what kind of biscuits they are yet that they'll be there um can i can i throw one other idea in oh because i'm also i'm in charge of merch yes and i've had to make a few trade-offs because you'll get complimentary like swag when you come to the oh yeah yeah now

it's there is a cost to it so i can't just be going because not everyone can just get a pair of moon walkers or whatever if they come to concon

tell me if i'm out of line here but i've traded off i had to make a call between you lanyards definitely don't worry about that 100 but i had to make a call between a concon usb thumb drive i think it was 512 megabytes okay versus concon condoms

I might pick ConCon condoms.

Yeah, smart.

No one uses USB.

I just think the thumb drive is over, isn't it?

I think 500 megabytes now is nothing.

But also, it's like, if you need a thumb drive, by this stage, we've got them.

They're like reusable shopping bags.

Like, we should actually just

got enough.

Airdropping email in the cloud.

Okay.

So, yeah.

Con con condoms.

Again, full disclosure:

they're not glow in the dark and they're not extra large.

But they said there is a higher, there's a fee, there's a charge for glow-in-the-dark, the charge for extra large.

So, apologies if you are a superiorly endowed participant,

we won't have you covered yeah or if you're someone that needs a needs

needs a beacon needs a and is an air traffic control situation

yeah we can't assist you there okay good we could we there is a chance we can get a small um light a reading light

which is a separate part of the merge of the swag and if we do get you the bookmark reading light yeah you're certainly more than welcome to clip that on

wherever you like yeah your pubes or something and then if you so so if you do need light and you are using the Kong Kong Kong, like that's, you know, we've got you, again, we've got you covered if you, unless you're extra large, we don't have you covered.

Phew.

I do have one more idea.

Okay.

Sorry, last one.

At conferences, you sometimes hear of like different seating packages.

Like you can buy a bronze pack or whatever, but the higher up, it's like tickets at a concert, like the higher up you go.

Would we have a section?

i think in terms of like it fitting with our show would we have a section where it's like general admin's great like that all the tickets are terrific but maybe there's like 10 or 20 tiguan level oh wow seats yeah so if you buy a tiguan level package you know they're very hard to get and you do get a few extra perks at the tiguan level yeah come for your seat or something yeah well it's just they're a very hard to get tickets yeah but do you get something

yeah you do

now the reason I'm mocking you is I don't know what it is.

So again, full disclosure there.

All good thoughts.

But

as we take a step back, there has been so many different locations around the world, as we heard last week, that have been vying for this position.

It turned into a bit of an Olympic-style bid.

Didn't it?

And hence, I've used AI.

to recreate one Ontario Samarage from

the 2000 Olympics.

The most confused person in this equation would be AI.

Really?

We didn't really do much studying on him when we were adjusting the internet.

We ate lots and lots of other people.

Obviously, famous for the winner is Sydney.

Yep.

This

I wouldn't be able to recognize his voice if he wasn't saying the winner is Sydney.

Well, you're about to hear it now

as he will tell us who is the winner from

the CONCON Organizing Committee wishes to thank the five business cities,

Hobart, the Sunshine Coast, Fiji, the Gold Coast, and NAIS Friends for their efforts in presenting the teeth

and also promoting the CONCON movement.

We

really regret that there is only one winner

The winner is

the Gold Coast

happens to be the one that has the golf course

right next to it That is such a good bounce for us.

Wow Juan Antonio moves in mysterious ways That's crazy.

So Royal Pines.

Is that Royal Pines?

Royal Pines at Gold Coast with the golf course.

that afternoon session is looking shaky.

I don't know if it's going to be inside.

Still scheduled to be inside at this stage.

Five hours.

Five hour afternoon session.

Asterisks.

Organizers' discretion.

Looking, no, looking good at this stage.

They, I think, their auditorium is 300, isn't it, Carly?

From memory, is this the one, and I hope it is, that has this, like, it's like a theatrette.

Yeah, the theatrette with two big screens.

So it's really, you can't not learn.

Like, it's really, you're like, try if you can, but nah, something will go in there.

So

the ATO will be happy with that.

So, um, 300.

So I think that's what we're going to say is there's 300 spots.

We're going to work out how they divvied up.

Great.

How do you get to, yeah, how you get tickets will come soon.

But the other part that I, because I was like, oh, it's just 300, you know, more people want to come.

We can discuss this.

I've been to conferences where they sell more tickets than the

actual seminars available.

Oh, scam time.

And people come and choose which seminar they go to.

So if we did want to...

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

So you could just buy

a one-session ticket.

Yeah.

And then just stick around for the networking.

Yeah, stick around for networking.

I wouldn't recommend buying the afternoon session.

That one hasn't been confirmed.

Or,

I mean, it is looking good to be confirmed.

That's a five-hour session.

If indoors, there'll be a lot of learning there.

If outdoors, a lot of networking.

Yes.

You might just want to roll the dice and only come for the afternoon session.

Yep, really good, Ando.

But details on how to if you have Tiguan level, you will be guaranteed seats at every session.

See, Jack?

Very good.

Thanks.

That's what I wanted.

Thanks for listening.

The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

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