2024 Ep 272 - Hamish Blows Something Wide Open

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One.

Ahoy to Mid B Sod.

Hamish.

B Sod?

Yep, B Sod.

Cool.

Yeah,

am I an acronym?

Like, yep.

Bloke, seriously over

daylight.

Yeah, overdressed as if I'm a vampire.

Just a bloke seriously over daylight.

I'm not a vampire.

I'm not a vampire.

I'm just one of the blokes that won't go in daylight.

No, no, surprisingly.

Yeah, no, there's no need for that acronym here.

I'll be werewolf.

Ahoy to me 404.

Jack.

Oh, are we error?

Are we error codes?

We are computer error messages.

Hey, 404 is the classic.

I didn't know there were others.

Jackson.

Yes, the B side was the critical error displayed on Microsoft Windows just recently.

It's the blue screen of death.

Oh, was that outage?

The big outage, yes.

The CrowdStrike outages.

I was going to be the red ring of death.

I don't know what that is.

Xbox 360.

That's when you know that your consoles have it.

And then obviously the 404.

It's funny because Microsoft, isn't Microsoft Xbox?

So you think they'd use the same colour

for Windows as they would for Xbox?

I think it's not on the screen for Red Ring of Death.

I think it's a red ring around the button on the console.

I have seen that before and it's an absolute weekend ruiner.

Really bring the mood down.

But yeah, 404, absolute classic.

Page not found.

Page not found.

Often, 404 brings back memories.

So you know how you have some businesses in your life that you're like, this is just the worst website and I have to go to, you know, sometimes you have that one website in your life that you have to go to often.

And I've got one in my life, and I won't name and shame them, but the always it's like, oh, you're having trouble logging in.

Oh, just go to our, yeah, go to our membership inquiries page.

We'll sort you out.

Go to that, 404.

And you go, they, someone's having fun with this.

We designed this deliberately as a labyrinth you cannot get out of.

On our website, the Habi Jetty website, we should have complaints linking to this discrete 404.

404.

That'd be nice.

I've clicked on unsubscribe from an email before and got 404, which is very convenient.

That is awesome.

Yeah, I love that.

Or like to manage your preferences, go to this page.

And it's all just like, yeah, tell us what you think.

Like, no, no, no, no.

Where's the button?

Where is the button?

Ahoy also to Eva in London, who used the very easy-to-use system.

Didn't get a 404.

Went to hamishdy.com.

Worse than a 404.

Had to use our system to a 405.

He's been up to.

Ahoy, Hamish, Andy, and the little boy.

It's Eva from London here.

My brother Tom Tom and I recently got back from watching the Dutch Grand Prix, and as McClarin fans, we were very, very excited to cheer on Lando and see him take home the win.

Or as a salacious headline might read, Brit Abroad ignites chaos in rival territory as he steals from resident Dutchman in front of an angry mob of locals.

We were also very excited to see a surprise appearance from one Mr.

Andy Lee as his Dutch alter ego Snolibolikis.

Who knew?

Love the podcast, boys.

Keep it up, and we'll keep spreading the word about it here in the UK.

Good on you.

Reference that needs no further investigation.

We all know that you're Snalabalaca.

I wouldn't even know what to Google with a.

Hey, Jack.

I guess we're just letting that one go.

Andy has an alter ego in Holland.

Yes.

Can I just say, though, please no Formula One spoilers.

I, like many people, watch Formula One only in February when Drive to Survive comes out and I try and avoid it for the whole year.

Even months later, don't tell me who won the Singapore Grumprix.

That's for TV in February.

Okay, okay.

Noted.

Guys, I said I wanted to stop the show and I'm going to take a bit of a U-turn here because we've been having fun.

We love fun on this show.

But

sometimes you get embroiled.

in a controversy that you didn't know you were a part of.

Maybe it is you being Snullabola Care.

In the Holland, you've been framed.

Sometimes you've been peddling a mistruth because you thought it to be true.

You've been peddling one.

Yes.

And it turns out it wasn't.

And

because this is a pedal mistruth.

I know.

Because obviously this is our way to connect with people.

I want to bring my partner in Beck.

We've got something to tell everyone.

Come in.

As a couple.

As a couple.

Come on in, Beck.

We haven't been renovating a giant mansion.

We just found a vacant block and we've been in there smashing it up, trying to get likes on Instagram.

Hello.

Welcome.

Welcome.

Hi, guys.

Hi, Beck.

What a treat.

Usually you're just being pranked, but I mean, now that you're in here live,

you're unprankable.

I mean, you know you're on the show for once.

Something has come up that shocked me.

and

I've brought Beck in to tell her side of the story.

This is so rare from you to give Beck an equal and fair voice.

It was a trail.

It was definitely a trail.

Andy would only be doing this if he knew he was in an unlosable position.

Unfair.

But wildly accurate.

To bring everybody up to speed, there was an incident at a resort in Fiji that I told everybody about on this podcast.

And for those people just joining us, maybe for the first time, welcome.

We welcome all new podcasters.

But this is what went down.

Previously, on the Hamish and Andy show, Andy's entire extended family were on holiday at a resort in Fiji when disaster struck.

During water aerobics,

Beck lost her...

Aura ring.

Oh, the fitness tracking ring.

A little fitness tracking ring that she is very passionate about.

She loses it in the pool.

There was, however, a slight misunderstanding.

She's yelled out, I've lost my ring.

Everyone's thinking it's a wedding ring.

A bit of panic sets in.

We've got to help, we've got to help.

The resort quickly sprung into action.

The guy on the microphone calls everybody from the resort that's got their bathers on as another great attendant Fijian guy runs up with all the goggles from the snorkeling section.

Suddenly it becomes an emu bob

for Beck's aura ring.

Well, they think it's an engagement.

Because on the scale of rings, the only thing less valuable, really, with no offense to aura, is like a baby of burger ring.

It's basically a novelty ring.

Knowing how many people were now involved, Andy sought confirmation from Beck.

You sure you're wearing it?

Yes, yes, yes, that's gone.

And I'm like, we've got to call this off.

No, I really want it.

Really want it.

It's going to look like I gave you a plastic gold ring.

I don't care.

I want it.

Beck wanted the ring so much.

Almost the entire resort is on the hunt.

We've got 45 people participating in the ring bomb.

Right.

Triumphantly, my nephew Fred finds it.

He then gets the ring back to Beck.

She puts it on, exits very quickly.

And Fred now is the only one that knows it wasn't the wedding.

I was going to say, it's great that it's in the circle of trust.

So seemingly a happy ending for all.

But for Andy, there was a strange feeling he he couldn't shake as someone who gets embarrassed so quickly for her to persist with 45 people searching for an aura ring to me is a confusing not not not enough to call off the web but i'm not i don't sit there and go well looking looking for loopholes

but i just you know you think you know someone don't tell me you're backing out

what i'm doing okay

beck do you did you let me ask you this before we get to the meat of today's main course.

Did you ask to come on the show or

were you invited on Beck?

I was cohersed.

Yeah, okay.

Now this makes more sense.

What is Beck doing here, Andy?

Do you want to tell everybody, Beck?

So

what happened is

I, after water aerobics, I looked down on my right hand, which is where my aura ring normally sits.

I can see it right now.

I can see it today, tracking away.

Probably noticing quite an elevated heart right now.

I would think so.

I would think so.

And

I noticed that it wasn't on.

Anyway, I told Bianca,

who's Cam's wife,

she was like, shit, we've got to go looking for it.

So we started looking.

And then that's when everyone sort of caught on that something was wrong.

Yep.

I then said, after about five minutes of looking, I said, maybe we should, I should just quickly duck back to the room and make sure that it's not in my room

okay

a lot of people were looking so I said to Bea look just I'll be back I quickly ran to our room and

it was in

our room on the charger

It was in the room.

It was in the room.

Okay.

So anyway, I ran back out quickly and went up to Bea and I said, I found it.

It's in, it was in my room.

And she said, shh, shh, shh.

I've already alerted the pool guard and he's already said it over the loudspeaker that there's a missing ring so and that was when the guy started bringing out all of the goggles gotcha so it was clear you were too deep you're too deep by that stage so B said to me well how about if I just take the ring and I'll go into the pool and just drop it near Fred and then Fred just did was Fred set up did he he didn't know it was innocent okay he was innocent um And then, so Bea jumped back in the pool and I was pretending to look around,

still with everybody else.

With everyone, acting worried.

And then

I looked over to Bea and I was like,

have you dropped the ring?

And she was like, no, I'm too scared to drop it now because I'm worried I'll actually lose it.

You won't.

There's 40 people there.

I mean,

it's a pretty safe place to drop a ring.

Anyway, and then she eventually dropped it near Fred.

And it worked.

Fred found it.

Okay.

And so Andy's made you come in now too.

Because Andy, as the whole reason we're here is because at the end of that, you were like, I suspect something's up.

Yeah.

She was.

So with the whole thing, you made Beck come in, like come out of her day of work just to come in here to you.

So you can go, I knew it.

I knew something was up.

Also.

Even you couldn't have even just told us.

But you didn't.

And we were thinking that you were giving Beck a chance to say something that you'd done wrong for the first time ever on the show.

Reported to the principal's office.

I just feel like my family don't know yet.

Right.

And whether...

Well, Bianca and I did say that this was going to be a thing between us.

There was a lot of throwing under the bus of Bianca as well.

Not thinking Beck's came in a

really good idea.

It was her idea.

It was her idea.

Because what you're trying to do, though, you know, in your defense, you're trying to, you know, soften the blow for the pool, you know, for everyone involved in the pool.

Well, and that's the thing, and then all of, you know,

talking about it that night over dinner, and it was a huge celebration on the ring.

As I said at the time, Fred got thrown in the air like the taco kid from Maldo Paso.

I think this is absolutely no harm, no foul.

In fact, I mean, it's he's given everyone a great talking point rather than you're the girl that cried ring.

So, so the question is for you guys: is do we tell it the family family now or do we let Fred, like, because Beck could call dad now and let him.

And you know what?

I've got Fred's best interests in mind here, too, because he'll, the boost in like self-confidence you get from being the champion of finding something.

You don't want to take that away from a young boy, do you?

No, I think that's fair.

Okay.

You do want to call your family.

No, no, no.

I'm happy for that to be to be the outcome.

I just didn't want to be, you know, obviously I don't want to lie to our listeners.

I want want to be very clear that everything we say on this show is always 100% accurate.

As best we can at the time.

So

I thought it was important that

you did smell a rat.

Yeah, she was acting peculiar and now we know why.

When did you find out, Ando?

Yeah.

What, last Friday?

Okay.

And I was like, great.

I've got three days to bring this back to everybody.

How do you feel about it, Becca?

You feel like you're very guilty.

But you're feeling like a little bit of something's lifted?

Not really.

Because I know your parents listen to the podcast.

It hasn't lifted.

Unfortunately, the lid is lifted on what I would classify as a good scam.

And I've been involved in a few of my time.

And this has all the hallmarks of a very good scam.

No one got hurt.

It was everyone a good story.

It was an absolute victimless crime.

But it just sounds to me like everyone had a fun time.

It was like a treasure hunt.

Yeah.

It was a treasure hunt.

They're all warmed up from water aerobics anyway.

So you've got a little bit of extra class.

So they're dipping, bobbing, dipping, bobbing, doing a little bit of, got a few extra reps in.

And a young boy came out of it feeling like a hero.

I mean, that is a, if I was writing a book of 100 best scams you can pull with your family to build confidence and have a good time,

that'd be in the top 10.

That'd be in the top 10 of my confidence-building fun family scams.

So I would say if Andy's parents do listen to this, then now they're obliged to probably keep the secret from young Fred as well.

Yeah,

everyone has to keep it from Fred.

That's, you know, I think that's got to be the most important thing here.

We're now all in the circle of trust.

Deal.

How's the aura going, though, Bec?

Glad you.

Great.

You only missed probably about two hours of tracking that day.

Okay, yep.

You wear it for another couple of years.

We'll smooth that right out.

Barely noticed the miss.

And

it's the can of, it's not a can of worms, it's a can of feelings.

It's a can of feelings we've opened on this show with extreme empaths.

And, you know, we'll start reading them out when they stop rolling in.

But the quality just

remains so high.

And she was, she started this for us.

The original.

There's a lot of like-minded people like her.

We've got to open it for it, in fact.

Let's do it with all the music in the world.

Not leaving any song out.

Not leaving any song out.

No song can feel sad.

Ando, this actually comes in from

this is I've got a, I've got an audio recording of an empath.

Oh, great.

Fun fact, listener of the show and Aussie Legend, guy called Lachlan Morton, Lockheed Morton.

He's a mate of mine.

You might not be aware of him.

He's currently, people in cycling will know who he is.

He rides for EF, Education First, the pro team, but he's currently trying to set the record for fastest lap of Australia.

I've seen this.

Unbelievable distances.

Like the numbers are mind-blowing.

He's doing between four and 500 kilometers a day

on the bike and so that obviously gets tired doing that and he's not feeling sad for his bike his bike loves it i guess it feels i guess he's his attitude towards bike is like a sheepdog loves to run loves to get out there started if you can visualize this sort of started to think it was around newcastle-ish and is going anti-clockwise so it's been going up queensland across the top into western australia now but obviously like you spend a lot of time on those roads up there you run into road trains and he sent me this audio recording he's obviously listening to the pod So shout out to Locky on the road.

He sent me this audio recording

with

being an extreme empath in mind.

I've developed

a strange empathy for the road trains when they're stopped at night

on the side of the road, like sleeping.

In my head, it looks like they're sleeping.

And I try and

make as little noise as possible until my lights down so as not to wake them up

because I know how hard they're working during the day

anyway

i'm not an overly empathetic person but uh

i feel for the big uh road trains when they're asleep

i do love i know how hard they're working

he's out there on there he sees them he sees them zoom over this to us there's certain movies like i now feel for the for cars more than i did just because i've watched the the

the uh sure i mean you look at matt and what he has to go through and how good he is to lightning the queen Brilliant luck.

Good luck with that.

Hey,

this one, I had to say, I want to kick this off with a girl called Jessica.

Great.

And she's got a great story about him being an empath, but there's also a side story, which is exciting.

Yeah, great.

Hi, guys.

The Mr.

Bean you discussed a while back is my dad.

Great.

She said, we're proud Mr.

Beans.

And yes, people giggle at our name all the time.

Happy to help.

So

this is Jessica, Jessica Bean.

She said,

whenever I go to the ice cream shop, I order the flavor of ice cream that has been least selected.

Now I'm all for being empathetic, but you don't mess with an ice cream.

There's a reason why you're not.

That's what you avoid because you're like, well, obviously it's unpopular.

It's natural selection at work.

I mean, sometimes they do replace a tub.

You know, like

you could be getting the most popular.

If you ever see a full chocolate, it hasn't been left behind.

So I'd say it's a replace tub.

Yeah, but if there in some kind of weird pistachio land or whatever it might be how's this ando this is from mia

i saw a kookaburra the other day and i was admiring it so far so good as i got closer i realized it was actually a crow but i felt so bad for being disappointed that i tried really hard to keep admiring it

that is fair because there's a distinct difference between

the the Koombigo, hello, hello, what are we here finally?

A little bit of attention?

You're like, oh, I think she's a fan of the future.

This is not what you advertise for me.

You've confused me with a kookabarra, haven't you?

Not at all.

I think you're a gorgeous, black, shiny bird.

Love it.

This one's from Holly.

When I copy and paste something on my computer, I always have to paste it straight away as I worry it's tiring to hold on to whatever I've copied.

Thanks, Holly.

And it counts, yes.

This is from Nina.

Since owning a car, I've always felt bad for the spare tie for being left out because I don't even know how to change a tie, so I can't rotate it in.

Sometimes I will lift up the lid in the boot and just give it a little pat so it doesn't feel left alone.

Very much appreciate you.

If only I knew how to.

substitute you you'd get a go on the field but i i don't but we we appreciate the work you put in love it This one's interesting, Ham.

From Alice.

I didn't realize I'm an ultra empath, she writes, until

I started raising awareness for it.

So thank you.

But it goes beyond objects with me.

For example, I feel sad when I hear the phrase, the straw that broke the camel's back.

All I can think is, why did someone put so much straw on that poor camel?

Just so we could have the same.

Just to unpack that for a while, I don't think I don't think it ever happened.

No, A, that, but B, I don't think it's heaps and heaps of straw, is it?

Isn't it just like

anything harder?

She always visualized a comical amount of straw.

No, I always thought, oh, I always thought of, I always visualized a whole lot of bags and

water and different.

Yeah, the guy on this end there gone, hey, can I put this last bit of straw?

Yeah, you reckon there's room for the straw.

That does make way more sense, actually, than for it to be exclusively straw.

Having said that, for anyone that's ever thrown around hay bales, they have some weight to them.

And I think if you were, if you've got a few hundred on a camel's back, I mean, that'd be a different saying about how impressive it is to balance hay on a camel's back.

That'd be a new saying for that.

Ando, you know that, and Jacko, you know that most weeks, not every week, but most weeks I like to blow something wide open.

Oh my word.

Do you still even have the opener i don't know i had to dig it out because it's obviously the heads up

yeah right get the mini discount jacks it's been years since we played this

so you for people that are new to the pod welcome by all means they all know about blow something wide open it hasn't been that long guys i mean i have been investigating and you can't talk about ongoing investigations was it in this podcast was it in this

i would

i want to say pre-covered times

well maybe look so

I should point out, though, just for people, again, who may be new to the pod.

What is this?

Is a new podcast they're doing?

Or is this a new

pride yourself on blowing things wide open?

No,

investigate stuff.

People would assume something's the norm.

And you see a little glitch in it, and you don't walk past.

You dig.

You dig.

I dig.

And I always have the truth shovel on me, ready to dig at any time.

And I think I would probably, I know the frequency has dropped off a bit in recent weeks of blowing something right wide open But I

can you do you have any idea when we last blew something wide open is that a no

way we can search it

I don't think we have time

It's on MS DOS

C slash run search slash run

So here's the thing though

Yes, maybe I have had other things going on and I probably have slowed down the investment.

I've got a lot of cases piling up and I am trying to work through them.

But at the same time, true crime podcasts and things like that people are

people are combing through stuff in this day and age there's very little left undiscovered

yeah do we assume then that that because it's been so long between cases this is going to be a more detailed yeah this will be

an amazing one oh this is this is explosive for sure and it all it falls loose loosely in the category or near the category of the health star ratings but it's not health star size let's not forget that was the og on this this show, blow something wide open.

I think we all shone a light on how suspicious the health star ratings were.

Now, this deals with a food that comes in two,

well, it comes in a variety of different formats, but we're going to focus on two today.

No issue with the health star rating, apart from just the general confusion we all feel over the health stars.

It's just, it's four stars on one, four stars on the other.

The thing that we're investigating today, and it's been brought to my attention by a guy called Tom.

So good work from Tom Tom as well as an assistant investigator.

But I was already onto this.

I was already looking

into this.

And when Tom emailed me, I went, that's right.

That's true.

I was.

I never quite got to the end of it.

It was like the family quiz after dad answers correctly.

And I go, yes.

I was going to say that.

We were circling around that answer.

Well, I mean, to give you a bit of Tom's story, he is a uni student.

In his words, he's a broke uni student and loves a dollar can of tuna, right from Coles mostly for its protein intake because you know he's also going to the gym it's expensive to eat protein Jack I know you I don't know where you are in your journey at the moment but I know with your trainer Frank you know you're trying to hit a certain level of protein and it is hard to get in hard to get in and look and I'm you know if you're trying to build muscle you do need to eat protein that's what Tom's doing here and he's like okay bang for buck tuna is a decent food to look at thing we're looking at here is John West.

Now,

you would think that

wasn't the opener meant to be ages ago?

Do that, actually, because I've got a few tabs on my computer I need to pull up.

Stand back!

He's set to blow!

Look out!

Fire in the hole!

Amish is blowing this wide open!

Amazing!

Amazing!

He's done it it again.

Oh, what a quick guy.

Thanks, guys.

This focuses on

John.

I'm realizing I'm just thanking myself in different voices.

John West tuna tempters, olive oil, 95 gram can.

Okay.

Now, obviously, he is on the hunt for, Tom's on the hunt for protein.

Okay.

Got to fuel those muscles up after you've burnt him in the gym.

There's John West tuna chunk style.

That's not what we're talking about today, but the interesting, I don't know how a chunk is different from a chunk style.

Yeah, chunk style olive oil blend.

Then you've got John West Protein Plus.

Okay, so you're like, oh, protein plus, man.

If you're a young man who's looking to get those fierce gains, you go, okay, I'm interested in protein plus.

This is what I'm here for.

The taste is secondary.

So you look at the protein plus, right?

You would be thinking, Jack, as someone interested in upping their protein content, you'd go, That's the one for me.

Yes, right?

Definitely.

You look on the back, and it's got that, it's got per 100 grams, like what it has: fats, carbohydrates, protein.

On the protein plus per 100 grams, okay, it's 22 grams of protein per 100 grams.

Okay,

on the regular tuna, it's 25.

More protein minus.

Wow.

It is a a

thanks, Dando.

But it is a bit of what is John West doing.

What is he doing?

What is he doing?

Why write protein plus on one?

But if it was...

Hang on a second, just to defend John.

Yeah.

Could it be protein plus other things?

It's actually interesting you mentioned that.

Protein is in huge gold writing, protein plus.

Okay.

Clearly, it's the star of the show yes so you've got protein plus in big gold writing then underneath in small writing you have plus calcium

protein plus plus calcium yes it's still arguing you would say that and they advertise on the front 18 grams of protein because it's a bit less than this 90 grams or whatever so it's like that's you know so they're trying to tell you this has got all the protein in it yet the other one has more yeah per capita right like as a percentage but you're right i it's like

here's the

calcium extra protein.

Yeah, but we'd have them over barrel.

But because they've said protein plus, which we are assuming is more protein, they could, in fact, in court go, no, no, no, we're talking about the calcium.

Yeah, well, true.

There's another brand here.

I'm just on the Coles website here.

There's another brand, protein plus lemon pepper.

Right.

So it's like,

how much protein in that one?

Oh, mate.

I mean, it's a bit of a dig to find it.

You can only assume that the normal one is still rating spring.

Here's here's the broader scope that's going on at the moment though and this is something i'm having to blow wide open

the world has gone mad for protein lately i mean you go to the supermarket it's just protein is just the word you put on anything okay to sell it whether it's like yogurt bars nut bars nut bars are the biggest offenders of going hey eat this it's got protein in it because there's sort of but the it blows my mind that the things that actually have protein in them like eggs and meat right they're probably your biggest source of protein they don't mention it, they just go, we're eggs.

Yes, they like no egg

packet is going, oh, mate, where do you see the bloody protein in this?

But an egg is probably one of the highest, like the easiest ways to eat protein.

And same with, like, no, you go to buy like, you know, three bloody sort of rubber steaks.

So the eggs and steaks know they're good.

It's like they don't need to show up.

It's like the best players of the game generally don't have huge celebrations.

Honestly, yeah, it's, yeah, they just go back to to their mark.

But it's like normal tuna even knew that it didn't have to promote itself as protein.

It really got its friends down the hall.

Protein was.

It knew it was just doing its job.

It's like, I think anytime you see the word protein, you'll be like, okay, that kind of tells you it's not.

You know, you're like, the nut bar,

the nut bar one is just the classic.

I saw one the other day that was like, you know, protein nut bar.

It had four, like, you know, four grams of protein in it, which is a fifth of a can of tuda.

Like,

it's like trace them out.

It's like when Cabri went with, like, oh, we've got a glass and a half.

We've got a glass and a half of full cream milk in everything.

But you go, yeah, but they sell milk here as well, like at the supermarket.

I could go around the corner and get 50 glasses in one

jug that's 50 glasses of full cream milk in it.

But that's because at the heart of it, I think it's them going, yeah, like, obviously, it's got a glass and a half, but it's sugar.

tastes, but it tastes better.

It tastes better than milk.

That's the that's kind of what we're trying to tell you.

Just quickly,

the last time you blew something wide open, seconds ago, yes, before that.

Oh, here we go, digging through the rule book, episode 37 of the

what year was it?

Like I said, it's not every week.

It's not every week.

Another one next week.

Great.

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I'm really gathering momentum is our conference conference con con convention that is going to be happening in the Gold Coast.

And

look, there's been some more developments.

There's a cool new conference no matter your your beers.

Concon.

The conference's so nice you can deduct it once at a maximum.

Can't stress it enough.

Very good.

This

is interesting, Ham, because we've had numerous bands reach out

and want to perform at ConCon.

Yeah.

Which is a worry because if you do revert back to the letter from the ATO.

They did seem to think that education and entertainment were opposed to each other.

And the more entertainment you had,

the less you could say it was for business reasons, the more business info you have, the less it's going to be for entertainment.

We floated the idea that, like, does all learning have to be un-entertaining?

That's a call for them to make.

But

I think the rule would have to be we can include...

things that are entertaining and that add to the the business presentations we'll be doing if they carry a business message, you know, if they are part of the

professional development theme of conference conference.

So the bands have to pay educational songs.

I don't know, Jack.

I'm just spitballing, but yeah, it might be like it.

Might be.

Well, that's an interesting call.

So Conrad Sewell was one of them, and it just made, it felt like

ConCon Con.

Like, like it just, you know, the name just seemed right.

But yeah, so do you think you're suggesting that we go back to Conrad Sewell?

I'm reading his, I've got the email here from Mushroom that, yeah, that offers him as Kon Kong Kon.

So he's on tour, right?

So he's promoting a new song, Different Kind of Love.

I was looking at that name going,

is there anything we can twist that song to to make it,

you know, different kind of business or something?

Or, you know, like he's.

Different kind of leadership.

Leadership.

We keep going over leadership because it really is, if you say,

it's a catch-all.

No one doesn't want to have leadership skills after a conference.

Well, do we pull up that song and have a look at the lyrics and see if he'd be willing to slightly tweak it.

See if we can't tweak it.

Reduce the...

I mean, you don't also have to ask him as an entertaining artist, and he is one of Australia's best.

You'd have to go, are you comfortable dialing down the entertainment variable?

Yes.

Just for tax reasons, because the tax office seems to have a problem with enjoyment.

Should he perform behind a lectern?

Would you read out your song?

No, but then it's not really.

No, then it's not a performance that's not a performance that's hard it's hard isn't it because would you be prepared to have to

have no stage presence i suppose is that we're saying and you can then think about that

because then if the tax office goes hang on a sec says here you went to a conference yep i went and i learned about you know my industry i developed myself professionally.

I met other people that gave me ideas and it was very much business-like.

Says he had Conrad Sewell played.

Yes, but he seemed

and during the song people were yelling out management ideas he's from the crowd from the crowd again Jack we're just blue skying this

yeah maybe from the crowd maybe from the crowd we get some people up and when he plays people can yell out some good stuff for business like you know invest in your talent or like you know double R D

Here's the first verse I've just brought it up.

Great.

It says, how do we we end up here?

That easily rhymes with it's the end of financial year.

It does.

Well, in my mind, I was thinking, do we show a graph with profit sliding?

Okay, that's good.

Okay, so it kind of turns into a PowerPoint about something.

What's the rest?

With our eyes filled with tears.

Yeah, great.

Results are in the toilet.

Shareholders are furious.

Or we just show different tears, spell it differently.

T-Is filled with tears, different management tears.

Yes, T-I-E-R-S.

So he can, he doesn't even have to remember a new lyric there.

Yep.

Can't we love like we used to do?

Can't we lead like we used to do?

Yep.

Only you know the

swear word here alert, but only you know the shit we've been through.

Again, that's very business relevant.

And I think if you change shit to sheets

or sales,

only you know the sheets we've been through and spreadsheets.

Yeah.

Again, and I'm okay, we can easily put together a powerpoint for this so spreadsheets come up yeah again showing like you know the sheets we've been through just showing all the sales figures in the red yep can't we lead like we used to yeah we survived hand in hand and will dance again yep okay um that role might require an offline rework but that's gonna yeah that's probably gonna be something about being profit again being the black again yes yes you're the missing link in my chain supply chain yeah oh I'd say the missing LinkedIn

in my supply chain.

So if we have LinkedIn as just one branded word,

he won't have changed the lyric.

Do you think

the ATO?

The ATO goes through the entertainment.

Because if, say, they bring up, you know, if you get audited and they go, well, hang on, we've got some video from the event.

This looks entertaining.

No, go through the lyrics.

In each line, there is a business reference.

I think that's all you have.

That's a good quotient.

Jackie, you're the, what's your question?

No, I mean, it's going to be very hard for them to turn around and say this isn't legitimate.

After if you got the PowerPoints up on the screen, you've got Conrad singing about business.

What about, hang on, what about

if he has to pause at specific moments and then we teach someone really quickly about that?

I already know.

Let's take this away.

It's not, it's very possible.

It's very possible.

Can I vote one other business?

Sorry, one other business-based

music idea.

This, this is not, I mean, not from like the level, obviously, of Comrade Swords, not someone's management getting in touch with this.

It's actually the person themselves.

His name's Joel.

He's in Queensland, which is great.

So pretty convenient for them.

Queensland-based functions wedding band

called

Get Ready for This, Kingston Crum, in honor of the Arnotts Biscuit

for for Kingston.

Okay.

So

like they're named after the biscuits.

So would you guys be interested in Kingston Crumb being your mood setting band during the biscuit hour?

Yes.

Oh, okay.

What kind of music do they play?

Well, I mean,

it sounds like if they're doing weddings and events, then, you know, it's probably classics.

It's probably.

Yep.

It's a cover band.

Would we have a biscuit band?

It'd be great, I think.

I mean, I really need to see Arnett come aboard as a sponsor now.

Like, we are really, you know, they're getting quite a lot out of this.

We're having it.

We've got a biscuit-themed band coming to play.

How's Arnitz going?

Not great at the moment.

Oh, come on, Andy.

What have you been doing?

Well, tell them to hold the date

right in Kingston.

And I'll look at paying for these guys out of my own pocket.

Hey, my merit listener Asher has reached out to us for a service we do provide.

It hasn't been utilized for a while, but it's just to check unbiasedly whether a friend of his, Luke, has lost touch with the common man.

Yep.

The charges that Asher has laid, and it sounds like Asher's

saying to his mate the whole time, listen, you've lost touch, you've lost touch, you've lost touch.

And Luke is saying, I haven't, I haven't.

The two big ones Asher is bringing to bear here is, look, he just bought a new home and

large and apparently has a pool.

And at the same time, in quick succession, straight after that, he goes and buys a Nissan Y62 V8 patrol, a big V8 full-wheel drive,

which is around about 100 grand.

I think he might look now back into Luke's defense.

I think he bought it secondhand because Asher suggested that the way we get him is

ringing him pretending to be from the dealership that he bought the secondhand car from the midland city used car depot or department and that's our in that's what we're going to try and do today i am going to try and call luke here being someone from the car dealership and um have jack and i will sit by

listening intently to all the information And at the end, we'll make a call as to whether he has lost touch or he is, in fact, in touch.

Okay, let's give this a go.

Hello Luke speaking.

Hey is that Luke Buggio?

Yeah it is.

G'day mate, Ken Bucky here from Midland City Use Cars.

How are you?

Good thanks.

How are you?

Very good mate.

How's the patrol?

Yeah it's good.

Yeah terrific.

Hey mate.

Hope we haven't caught you at a bad time.

But

just a bit of a follow-up call

about

the patrol.

And if you don't don't mind, we just had a couple of questions for you.

If you're happy to participate in a survey,

you can win three years extra free servicing for the car.

It'll take two minutes.

Okay, yeah.

Mate, really quickly,

just wondering, first of all, what kind of activities will you use the car for, do you think?

We use it for just driving around normal, like just every day.

And

we take it camping and fall driving.

Yep.

And when you take it camping, do you have a rooftop tent or do you camp?

Do you use a nice car?

We've got a caravan.

Go caravan.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

What model caravan?

We had a caravan.

We've sold it.

We're just buying another caravan at the moment.

Buying a brand new one?

You had a camp at Jola?

No, no, a brand new one.

Okay.

Looking at an expander.

Very nice.

On the personal front, do you park it at your own house?

Yep.

Yep.

And do you own or rent your place?

Own.

Own.

And how many bedrooms?

Five.

Right.

And pool or no pool?

Pool.

Pool.

Great.

As well as camping for holidays, do you ever, do you predominantly drive on your holidays or do you sometimes fly as well?

Drive.

Just drive.

Can you remind me, what kind of seats did it have?

In the patrol.

Yep.

Leather.

Right.

Would you ever use the patrol to tow a boat?

Probably not.

Do you know anyone with a boat?

No.

Do you ever go out on a boat?

No.

Okay.

I'm a

couple more questions here.

Do you ever eat or drink in the car?

Yes.

Yep.

What would you eat or drink?

I don't know, probably fast food.

Yep.

Just the last question here.

Based on these answers,

we've got our own algorithm.

But would you say you're in touch with the common man or lost touch with the common man?

Because I'm going to, I mean, it's a line ball.

It's a line ball.

It's line ball.

Your mate Asher was just adamant that we do this.

Luke, what would you say?

In part.

No, I don't know, mate.

I don't know.

I think the five-bedroom house fully owned is a problem for you.

But the fact that you're about to buy a new caravan.

I do think the second-hand expand-up would be

such a line, Paul, isn't it?

And you said,

I don't know what I was expecting for the food.

Like, if you're like, I didn't think you were going to say caviar and lobster.

But he's got a pool.

How big's the pool?

Yeah, this could be the design.

It's very small.

It's probably

three meters long.

Oh, yeah.

It's like Jack.

It's like Jack.

It's an entry-level pool.

And does it have

a spa, like a gas-heated spa next to it?

No, he's fine, actually.

You're well in touch with the government, man.

Yeah, well done.

Particularly the non-flying for

the holidays, and you bought.

I mean, it is a V8 patrol.

I mean, I think Asher was like, Look, you know, in quick succession, you've got and bought a house and a V8 for drive, but

I think you've still managed to skirt.

You know, you've stayed grounded.

I think you've stayed grounded.

Congratulations, I think so as well.

Yeah,

okay,

carry on.

We might change your decision.

Well, we did.

Um, yeah, we'll let you know if you get if you win the three years of free service again.

Awesome.

Thanks, Jay.

See you, buddy.

Back to home.

Thanks for listening.

The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.