2025 Ep 307 - One Piano, Two Promises & One Betrayal

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One.

Ahoy to me, pillar, Hamish.

Things of society.

Yeah, Ahoy to me.

Ahoy to me, hoy.

Ahoy, ahoy.

A pillar and a hoy.

Ahoy to me, hoy.

Damn it.

I really wanted to get this week's.

I feel like we've been sloppy lately, and I was like, we've got to come in hard and get this week's.

I feel like you're a chance to get it.

A pillar and a hoy.

As in H-O-Y?

H-A-U-Y.

Okay, that's different.

Pillar, hoy, and I'm Raul.

I mean, we're

just types of.

I think it was was places you could go.

Places you could go.

Jack, I'm out.

I mean,

I can't even, like, usually when they spoke together, Mexico, they...

Sorry, lies.

I got a bad feeling that we're going to hate this.

You're going to hate it.

You're going to hate it.

It's the Three Capes in Tasmania.

No, don't hate it.

I actually don't hate that.

Don't hate that.

The three points.

Yeah, there's a famous walk down there, Three Capes Walk.

Yes,

I haven't done it myself.

It's a world-changing multi-day hiking experience.

One of the best.

I don't know anyone that's done the Three Capes Walk that hasn't had a ball down there.

I haven't done it myself.

You went down a mountain bike riding.

I thought you might have been somewhere in that.

Nah, that was Bay of Fires up the East Coast.

But,

you know, capes, you know, if you can get three capes near each other, absolutely link them up with a walk.

That's what I always say.

And that's what the powerful conservation's done.

Oh, they're they're not what I'm thinking.

I thought it was the three capes.

You know how Tasmania is kind of a triangle?

I thought it was all three corners of a triangle.

All three points.

No, no, no.

Nor is it capes you can wear.

It's yeah, geographical capes.

The tricky thing about these are these.

I suppose this is all facts, but it's like you either know it or you don't.

Like, we could have spent a very underwhelming 45 minutes on this podcast trying to deduce

exactly what this could be.

And Andy's clue of now, like in retrospect, Andy's clue of it's a place you can go is very broad.

Yeah, you don't even need the you can go.

So really, unless it's in outer space, if it's a place, it's a place you can go.

Ahoy also, Tatalia, who went to hamishandy.com and uploaded using the very easy to use system, better to use, better than WhatsApp audio

upload system with Hamishandy.com.

Tell us what she's up to.

Ahoy boys and gusto to you from Portugal.

I

have just stopped over here from London for a quick little weekend getaway.

It must be very nice.

I've definitely lost touch with a common woman on this trip.

I've just had a beautiful massage and went for a gorgeous swim in the ocean, which you might hear behind me.

And I did a big dive into the water.

So refreshing.

Only to have my ear fill up with water.

And all I could think of was how much I would pay someone to bleach a toilet plunger and come get the water out of my ear.

Yeah.

Anyway, it works.

Yet to find a plunger but that's okay.

Love to you listening to the pod on the beach.

Be so, remember, be very gentle, be very gentle.

He doesn't need too much of a pressure differential, but it works.

Hark back to Hamish using a toilet plunger on a kid, a different kid, but he's owned.

Yeah, my son's best friend.

Ear.

Who's part of the family?

To try and extract water from his ear.

Yep, use

the suction.

Yes, I used the splash.

That's why I said you've got to use a very gentle amount of pressure.

You are looking to draw the water out,

no plunging motion needed.

You depress the plunger first before you put it on the side of the head.

So you're not pushing the blockage further into the ear.

No.

You are simply, you pre-depress it, seal it onto the child's head.

Or adult, in this case, for Talia.

Or adults.

And then slowly

draw it back, thus removing the blockage.

Can't lose.

It creates a negative pressure differential.

And

that value block has nothing to fight.

Talia hotel reception will have a plunger, particularly in the maintenance.

So

make up with them.

And bleach.

I bleach it as well, because of course the plunger had been in the toilet.

Not terribly.

I mean, that's more of a, that's more of just, I knew I'd get asked by the authorities, aka my wife.

She'd go, that's a dirty plunger.

And I'd be like, can you say that?

I've already white-kinged it.

But even though a lot of the time that plunger is going into a clean toilet, you know, the blockage is further down, but the water it goes into is clean.

Clean's a big hole.

It's

not drinkable unless in the severest of emergencies.

Hey, there's been something that's going on for a while involving our mate, Jack.

Now, Jack.

That's you, Jack.

Where are we at with the piano?

The piano has left the house.

It has left your house.

Yeah.

Okay.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Just quick recap for people, people would remember this as to even the karma of Jack deciding to keep the electric golf cart for himself or to stack the deck.

in favor of him winning the game.

Yes.

To be fair, you gave a 50-50 chance that a listener could have won the golf cart.

For some some reason, it must have been edited in a way on social media that made it look bad.

And then people thought I was greedy, even though I thought we all agreed, including the listeners, that it was a fair playing field.

No.

I think you're rewriting history.

We didn't all agree.

Weren't we all comfortable with it by the time we were spun wheel?

From memory, there was about 20,000 tickets in the raffle, and you had 10,000 of those tickets.

And

you got to nominate how many you got anyway by the by anyway everyone else by the by so then i took the electric golf cart and then to ease the people being unhappy about that i said i would give something of mine away and i chose a piano which i i really regret now so let's pause for a second okay let's a recap of where we left at last time we talked about this on the pod

july 10th

Couldn't we give a quick update on the piano that you had to get shipped off to the guy in Tasmania?

Yes, it is going very soon.

Very soon.

God, I thought it was just months ago.

It just happened.

The guy, apparently, the guy who's coming to pick it up had an abdominal strain and he can't lift it.

Did you get the cheapest?

I outsourced the logistics of this to Liza.

Sorry.

Why aren't you more across this?

Because it was to rebuild your reputation.

I know.

I keep asking what's happening with the piano.

She told me this morning before we started, he's got an abdominal strain and he doesn't want to lift the piano right now.

Did you say, Don't worry, I'll do it because I don't have a job?

No, I said, Yeah, good point because it's really heavy.

It is really heavy.

So that is Jack outsourcing the job he was meant to do to Lisey.

And there was a bit of a rig morale to get the piano out, probably months, you would say.

Months, yes.

But why is it just one person that's able to move pianos?

I don't know.

They went for cheapest available because Jack had to pay for it.

That was part of the thing.

You know, not many piano movers wanted to do Trans-Tasman.

It has has left your house.

It has left the house.

It has arrived at Matt's house.

Oh, great news.

Which, again,

Jack should know.

When did it arrive?

It arrived about two weeks ago.

But this is where it gets tricky.

I received this email on my side of the fence.

It's from a fellow called Steve.

Hi, Hamish Nandy.

Big fan of the show.

I think we've got a mild scandal on our hands involving Jack and his so-called generous piano giveaway.

Our favourite kind of scandal.

Jack gave away his piano on your show, which was lovely, except there's a small problem.

He'd already offered it to my mate Lee live on the Christian O'Connell breakfast show.

What?

I don't remember that.

Did I?

That's right.

He promised a piano on the radio once and then gave it away again on a podcast.

This is awesome.

One piano, two promises, one betrayal.

Two promises we know of.

Lee was ready, emotionally committed, already measuring doorways.

So my question is, is Jack running some kind of musical Ponzi scheme?

Was Lee just a test audience for the more high-profile handover on your podcast?

And can a man truly be trusted when he double donates a piano?

As Lee's official spokesperson and full-time mate, I feel it was a duty to bring this in justice to your attention.

Happy to provide character references.

Lee would love to be heard as he has never fully recovered.

So Jack, I don't like just bringing problems to you and the pod.

I don't think that's fair.

I'd like at this point, Jack, would you like to have a deep think about it and self-report any other times you've you've promised that piano.

There is only, to clear it up, there is definitely only one piano.

It's not like I have multiple pianos to give away.

We know that.

Yep.

That's not what people are thinking.

We're thinking that you're just touring the children's hospital and going, you know what, I'm going to give you guys a piano.

Yep.

I have been saying that a lot lately.

I'm actually going to give it to you guys.

It's not even any more promising.

It is also true that we did want to get rid of that piano.

It's harder to get rid of a piano than you think.

None of that's in question.

No, no.

We know that you chose the piano because it worked more for you than anyone else.

Trying to fill the bus rooms.

Is he trying to speak for so long?

We don't even know what the question is.

The question is, do you remember giving it away more than once?

I don't remember giving it away more than once.

I don't even honestly remember giving it away on Christian's show to another person.

That's crazy that I would give away the same piano twice.

I think that's how he's feeling.

I followed it up with the producers on the christian o'connell breakfast show great they said yes this is what happened there were two people lee was one of them the other person was a guy that was going to fix your floor wooden floor where it scraped in exchange for the piano do you remember that i do remember that conversation look it's even the piano that scratched the flat

that's a third a third potential person that has a claim to the piano

wait wait i do remember so the piano scratched the floor

when we moved when we moved into the house.

My God, it's like severance.

Do you not know what you're doing when you go on Christian's show and then you get severed and come on our show and just

where you're outie?

You just start doing the outie stuff.

I do remember someone saying they would come and fix the floor.

I don't remember saying I would give him the piano, but truth be told, he never came and fixed that floor.

So that scratched still remains.

So that's out.

So strike.

You want to hope he's not at your house right now fixing that floor.

Otherwise, you've got three pianos to give.

I hope he is, actually.

So I then,

I'm not in the business, Jack, of just bringing problems.

I thought, well, maybe Matt doesn't love the piano.

Maybe we can get it back off, Matt.

It's been two weeks.

Obviously, had to wait months for it.

So I gave Matt a call this morning.

Hey, Matt, are you there?

Yes, I am.

It's Andy here.

How are you?

Good.

How are you going?

Yeah, really well.

Hey, sorry it took so long for the piano to get to you.

No, that's okay.

That's all right.

It's there now.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, man.

The kids are asking me, when's it coming?

When's it coming?

We have to replay the episode so many times.

Oh, it's arrived now.

Is it in okay, Nick?

Yeah, no, it's good.

It's actually really good.

Okay, great.

And you've found a spot for it?

Yes.

And so the kids are loving it?

Oh, it's the best.

It is the best.

It gets a bit loud sometimes, but it's really good.

So no complaints?

No complaints at all.

Great.

I mean, that's no golf trolley, but no complaints.

It's not a golf trolley.

Yes.

Yeah, I agree.

There's one issue.

Yes.

We may need it back.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

So just wanted to put that towards, I'm not sure how it's going to pan out, but I mean, will the kids be devastated if we...

No, no, they're not going to be devastated.

Great.

Well, you're a very, very good man.

Very understanding.

I'll keep you updated, all right?

Yeah.

No worries, girl.

All right.

Take care.

Bye.

Bye.

I mean, it just so happens he's the nicest man.

He's so nice ever.

But I had to.

The kids would be fully grown by now.

I was surprised to hear they hadn't moved out.

It's been so long.

Great.

I'm so happy that it's found a new home and it's getting loved and it's getting played.

Are you?

Yes.

Because.

What?

Because what?

I have from a phone log here that you called Liza last week to ask whether the piano had gone to Tasmania or not because Bianca, your wife, has found the perfect spot for it in your house.

No, if Matt's got it, if Matt's got it and he's playing it,

then all good.

Like, obviously, we're not going to bring it back across the Tasman.

But I did.

Yeah,

I would take it back.

Wait, he's not offering it.

All right.

No, no, no.

This is what happened.

This is essentially what happened was we had the old crappy piano that Matt's got now, but it still did a good job.

I thought he loved it.

It still did a good job as a piano.

I had plans to go and buy a new piano, and then I quit the radio show, and now we don't have that much money anymore.

So we can't afford a new piano.

But that all happened while Matt was getting transferred the old piano.

So when you gave it away, you had a cushy, you had a lucrative breakfast radio job.

And I was like, well, we'll get, don't worry, we'll get a brand new piano.

It's going to be so nice.

Then that cushy job went away.

And now I've got no piano.

And I would love to have our piano.

But not who are you appealing to here?

Not Matt, not Matt.

From the very get-go, and I reckon if we replayed the audio, the first thing out of my mouth, I reckon, when Jack said, we have this piano, I said, this better not be a weasel attempt to get a piano upgrade.

Yes.

And I fear it is.

I fear it is, Ando.

It's not.

It's not.

Well, you're doing a lot of I want a piano, I want a piano, but I can't afford one.

That's the telltale scratchings of a weasel's claw digging a new burrow.

I'm just spitballing here now.

What about Lee?

I don't think we can take it off Matt.

Yeah, so going back to Lee, I don't think we can take it off Matt.

You promised it first to someone else.

So how he comes out of the woodwork.

What about this?

We acquire a new piano,

and it's a new

spin of the wheel, 50-50, Lee versus Jack to see who gets it.

I feel like, yes, I'm very, obviously very interested.

I just feel like the people made themselves quite clear the last time we spanned the wheel.

So you wouldn't want to go into that situation again?

I just,

I see me getting

carried away.

The wheel comes up, I win, I'm dancing, I'm fist pumping,

la la la.

And then it wasn't good optics, was it?

And then people were writing comments like, oh, what a shame.

Right.

Right.

Well, was it the best look?

Do we?

What if we let Lee decide how many tickets Lee gets?

That's interesting.

Jack, because we were looking at getting a beautiful stand-up piano.

Oh, I love it.

Yeah, beautiful, upright piano that stays in tune.

That's the problem with the one Matt's got.

It goes out of tune quite easily.

He didn't hurt team to mind.

I asked him about that.

Yeah, if kids are playing it, they don't care.

Okay, I like it.

I'm very interested.

I like your thinking, Henry.

So

we we get a piano.

Lee then has the choice of how many tickets he would like.

Here's where my brain goes.

We've got Lee who has a legitimate claim to it because it was promised to him by Jack.

You have Jack, who benevolently has given away two pianos, now wants all of them back and

would like him to be up plus one pianos.

You also have any listeners that are listening that would like their own attempt to win the upright piano.

So I think you have have three parties here i think we almost start a new oh no new can't steal from the listeners again surely not well do we start a new raffle everyone enters lee decides how many tickets each party gets jack the listeners or lee

and then we when we spin it up on the roulette wheel well we'll just see how it goes we don't know what the split's going to be it probably won't be a roulette wheel anymore no we might think of another split we'll have to randomly love it randomly do it so jack lee will decide how many tickets you get in this raffle.

Can I talk to Lee before we get him on?

Yeah, absolutely.

But we have to record it.

We'll be hearing it for sure.

Okay.

How many tickets, Jack?

My gut goes.

Let's say there are 300 tickets available.

How many should Lee have?

How many should Jack have?

And how many should the listeners that want a piano get?

It makes sense to me to go equal thirds.

100, 100.

So you get 100.

So in that ticket, 100, 100.

Yeah.

You get 100 tickets.

Lee gets 100 between them.

Yes.

And it's still.

And then everyone else gets 100 between them.

Yes.

The odds are still against me.

That's a one in three chance that I would win.

Not fine.

Form going up at hamishoni.com.

We'll acquire it.

Why do you deserve to have such a high?

No, because I want a new piano.

I don't know.

Please, we'll have a little audio

upload there.

Please also add a little audio if you want as to why the piano would be important to you.

Okay, we vow we'd do this on last week's show.

It's the final piece of the puzzle to get to land dad a 55-inch television, an upgrade from his 20-inch television that is so annoying to watch whenever I go around there and watch the blue tiny

absolutely anything.

So, the situation is everyone knows in a nutshell.

Yeah, he refuses to upgrade.

I don't buy TVs, he said.

I just win them.

We orchestrated a fake ruffle.

Kid from Scouts went round, bing, bang, boom.

He bought five tickets.

Guess what?

He won second prize 55 inch tv we celebrated yeah admittedly forgot to then give him the tv or paused if you bit too long was sort of a week yeah um then he that was enough time for the euphoria of the win to wear off began to grumble about the size of the tv and he said that to me so i knew he didn't know yet so so we were like okay great we've got to get it get onto it that's on us he's wobbling a bit now about accepting this free tv so he thought we've got liza in here again um liza you pretended to be the person from the

raffle,

Showtime, the theatrical arm of the scouts.

So now he seemed to like you a couple of weeks ago.

So you call him.

Now

you've got the gist, Liza.

You just call him and go, listen, we're about to deliver the TV.

Great news.

It's coming.

Sure, you wouldn't do this, but can you just pledge to us, like a scout pledge, that you're not going to give away or sell the TV?

Because we've had a few people do that in the past.

It's a bad look for the sponsor.

I'm sure you're not going to do it, but do you pledge to keep the TV as the primary TV, as Andrew pointed out?

The primary TV in your household.

And if he does that, victory.

Finally, we've given this man a big TV.

Good luck, lives.

Hello.

Hello.

Hi.

Is this Michael?

It is.

It is.

Hi, Michael.

It's Denise calling on behalf of Campbell L Showtime.

How are you?

I'm well, I'm well.

I hear I've been pranked.

No.

How did the cat get out of the bag?

Poor old Finn here is,

he said, oh, how'd you do TV go?

And I said, you know, we're still waiting.

And he said,

you've got at least one listener anyway.

Who's Finn?

Finn is the listener.

I'll put him on.

No, but don't put him on.

You don't need to out the rat.

Ahoy, boys.

Ahoy, you.

Finn, you've used.

We were this close to landing the big mission.

You've blown this.

Five days, surely the TV has landed in the small 22-inch hole in the cadium.

We were

you've blown the whole operation wide open.

This was an international television smuggling ring smuggling into a house.

And now

now we've let him wriggle away finn i've not heard of you come up with god the savior who are you who are you finn i i uh strengthen your parents andy as a pilates studio yep i'm an exercise physiologist oh

pilates instructor

trying to do good in the world and i've committed the most heinous crime no

look to be honest fin um we did discuss this on on a show recently it kind of i'm asked We sort of pulled off the heist, really, pulled off the prank and go, yes, we've made Andy's parents accept a free television, then sort of forgot to deliver it.

So it is understandable from your behalf that you would think we had actually done the rest of what we said we were going to do.

Finn, how long ago did you just tell dad?

We missed it by a matter of moments?

Less than an hour, Jen.

Oh, no.

Unbelievable.

Strengthened Finn chat.

I saw them on Friday, too, and I held my tongue.

And I thought, I've done the most trustworthy thing ever, not being able to blow it.

Wow.

And I've just, just to spoil it all in the last hour.

Yep.

We haven't had a nemesis of this show for some time.

And we need you as your, as, you know, Mick's doing skaters or whatever he's doing there on the reformer bed.

Need you to really get in his ear and go.

I tell you what, it'd really strengthen that upper body, lifting of 55-inch PV

up onto the mantle.

You can see how small it is.

And when I go around there, we can't, dad wants to watch a movie or something.

You can't see it.

He needs

to, his posture in his core is so off from leaning forward and squinting.

Imagine the posture he'd have if he could just lean back, just head above the spine, nice neutral position, and just watch a big TV.

I don't know how his eyes cope with the strain of looking at such a small screen from so far away, to be honest.

I think then there's a domino effect down to the core and that's just making your life hell.

If you can make make it your medical recommendation,

I think that'd be something that he'd be open to.

Well, my apologies, gents.

I'm forever in your debt.

I'm going to put Mick back on.

No, thank you, mate.

Well done.

Keep all the good work.

Thanks.

Oh, Dad.

Are you saying you don't like the size of our TV?

No, Dad.

Can you please, can you?

I have no idea the effort has gone into this thing.

Can you please just accept the 55-inch TV?

No, I can't accept the 55-inch.

Where are we going to put it?

In the sport, it's right there.

Anyway, it's very slim and it would have its own feet that it stands on, and you'll really enjoy it.

But then,

how are the kids going to our grandchildren going to run around behind the couch?

It'll be sticking out too far.

No, anyway.

Anyway,

they're flat.

You obviously haven't had TV in so long.

They're actually flatter than you think.

It's almost like magic these days.

I was wondering why poor old Rome was up so close to the TV.

Perhaps you can't see it enough.

No one can.

It's only a four-pixel TV.

Love you, dad.

We'll judge you later on.

I can't get this.

Oh, boy.

I wonder if Finn wants a TV.

No, he's the last guy that can't.

I can't get it.

Next week, we try and break the record.

And we'll have a Guinness and a world record, we hope.

I think we can.

I mean, I just can't see it not happening.

And a world record for the tallest hat worn by any person and walked 10 meters unassisted.

Shatter the world record is probably more accurate, isn't it?

Because I think it was...

just over five and a half meters the previous record when we started when we scoffed at this initially and then as people are well aware it became a main project of the show um and instead of just going one centimeter taller we've decided to go six meters yeah nice round number um just don't see that a lot in the high jump or the pole vault or the olympics you don't see someone going okay we're at 9.15

i'm going to go 15.

you just don't see anyone go for such a big leap but i love that we have um

we've talked about this enough for the red tape to really chase us down you know how we we like dodging admin, etc.

I hate it.

Do you like red tape, Jack?

I hate red tape.

Yeah, it's about one of our show's mantras.

Anyway, one of the

risk assessments this week, guys, and I've been taking one for the team as a pointer.

You've been doing a risk assessment.

Well, yeah, they've made a lot of people.

We have used the phrase neck snapping a lot of people.

Neck snapping, and that's what they're worried about.

They're worried about our neck snapping.

And I think at one stage, catastrophic neck failure was mentioned.

I can announce today how heavy the hat will be.

Okay.

From memory, you know, when we were testing stuff on our head, was that 15 kilos we were testing on our head?

It was between 15 and 20 kilos.

Yeah.

I definitely noticed it with a 15 kilo weight plate on my head.

There is a disagreement in camp.

Over the weight?

Yes.

Who?

Between the designer and the manufacturer?

Yes.

And it's healthy disagreement.

You need this to get the best design out.

Robust discussions.

The design team are adamant about the lead brim

that we think.

Pulling down the center of gravity.

The makers, manufacturers, think it's adding too much weight.

Yep.

Without the lead brim,

we come in at 6.1 kilos.

Love that.

I might jog it.

Yeah.

Like, that is incredible stuff from them.

They've made it super lightweight.

10 kilo a meter.

And they've made it taper so it's thicker at the bottom and it becomes thinner as it gets to the top.

But it's not a cone-shaped hat.

It just means the material making the top hat look gets thinner.

Correct, Jack.

It's still a top hat.

And that's from Top Stage Advanced Composites.

Yes, I should point out.

Soon to be made a top hat stage advanced composites.

With the brim, the four kilo brim takes, it, tips it over a 10-kilo hat.

Can we, is the brim swappable?

Like a good Formula One car you can swap out

pieces?

I'll look into that.

But that'll be something we reveal next week.

Are we going brim or brimless?

Something for us to see.

My vibe leans towards brimless.

Brimless?

Well, there'll still be a brim, but it just won't be weighted.

You just don't need a weighted brim.

Yep.

Yep.

I think we just with six I think with six kilos on your head, you've just got a bit more maneuverability.

I think the name of the game next week when we walk with this enormous tube on our heads

is to be able to make adjustments to get, you know, rapid adjustments to keep it balanced on your head.

It would help you feel like adding

risk assessment because they're worried about get rid of it.

Yeah.

I don't think it's a big deal.

So

it's been months designing.

So I'll come back to that.

What is the risk is that it's more unbalanced.

So it's going to be harder to do the 10-meter walk.

Is that the risk risk without the weight?

Why do you say that?

Remember, we had all those people writing in going, guys,

remember how you can balance a broom on your finger because the weight's all at the top.

It actually makes it easier to balance something when the weight is higher.

And then you can't balance a pen on your finger because the center of gravity is too close to your finger.

That was, we had tons of emails like that.

I've just sort of ignored them, but they do have a point.

So I wonder if we just let the brim go if it's creating a hassle.

Well, we'll reveal that next week.

week tell me now reveal it now well we've got to decide well i'm deciding let's get rid of the brim

i mean i'm

i have a 50 chance to be one of the hat pilots here i just say let me run it nice and light just going to see how far they've got i can't promise anything they're still working away next one

they're very worried about the teaming sticks as in the people manning them right oh i forgot about that i'll send this through to you the way they've been designed is incredible I've just sent you guys a picture so you can have a look on your side of the desk

long sticks they've got this cradle aspect that's so good we can run a little so we can run I said put sheepskin in it put a very soft fur or something in there

so it doesn't hurt the hat yep so that's that's what we can do we can add that or we could add a band like a rubber band between what is a two-pronged fork so it kind of looks like a slingshot yeah yeah so we can what would you prefer sheepskin okay sheepskin it is Carly's shaky because that's another thing.

Or a rubber band.

I mean, are we going to reveal that next week too?

I mean, why are you asking me this stuff if I don't have a shuttle?

Sheepskin's good.

The next thing

I need to show you is the hat's big and it's all going to be in one piece.

Yes.

Right?

Yeah, that's hats.

Yeah.

It's hats.

So

they've had to get a special truck organized to deliver the hat.

I imagine it's like the truck that takes the space shuttle out to the launch pad or the trucks you see in north korea just sent you the truck with the missiles on the back are you joking

what is that a joke that's thei that is the truck that we've got no it's not no what but that's 18 meters long why we got a six meter hat they it's the truck used for drag races that they carry around drag races this is a three i don't even know the name of this truck a b triple

it's a three trailer truck i don't obviously our hat only comes in one trailer but yes yes.

But they're just not unhitching the other two trailers.

I think, just for effect, they're not going to unhitch the other ones.

And we come in with a massive.

I mean, obviously, your crew travels in one part of the trailer.

Yeah.

And is there like a lounge or something in one of them?

Backup supplies in the other one.

And then where the drag racer would normally sit, our hat will come in.

It's so big.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, it's unbelievable.

I don't even, this is the biggest truck I've ever seen.

What's the biggest hat you'll ever see, mate?

Optimus Prime would stand no chance against this truck if it was a Transformer.

Next thing to discuss.

The guys wanted to present to us a platform that they wanted to build as well as a launch platform.

They sent me a PowerPoint presentation.

Yep.

It was a video, but using a PowerPoint presentation.

Yep.

Is this so to get, because the hat has to get up

and also...

Yeah, so people can visualize this.

Yeah, I was going to say, you have to get the hat upright from a lying down position.

That's no,

that doesn't seem that simple because I I feel like there'd be a lot of people somehow and you get it up delicately vertical.

But yeah, then you have to raise it two meters in the air to get a human being under it.

Yes.

I've taken some excerpts from the video.

We can put the full video up at homeishneuth.com or at any of our social pipes.

But this is what they're presenting.

Gentlemen, I have for your consideration a preliminary design for the launch tower.

Now, every good project needs to start with the same one thing, and that's a mood board.

And the mood board is here to help us decide what's the vibe, what are we going for, what are we trying to achieve?

And so I present to you my mood board.

And what we can see here is some very tall, tall holders.

So on the left, we have the SLS mobile platform from NASA.

Big towering structure, lots of little arms coming out to support this very tall thing, the rocket ship.

Rockets broke a lot of records.

We're trying to break records.

You know, there's things we can take from this.

And then staying with the space theme we can see the orbital launch and integration tower from spacex uh similar idea big tower arms that come out and like support this tall object uh so we take this inspiration we're looking at platforms to hold up our tall object uh so without further ado may i present to you the launch tower

now i've just sent that through to you guys as well my god here we go

Yep.

That's awesome.

He probably shouldn't have mentioned all the SpaceX and that stuff because

this looks like a really tall walking frame.

Yeah, and you made it sound like it was going to be a rocket launcher.

Yeah, no, it's just wood, I think.

Eight meters high, though.

Eight meters high.

Eight meters high.

Yeah, and a platform.

So does someone stand on the back and kind of hold the

if we can explain, if we try to explain it, yes, it's eight meters high, but then there's a platform behind that box.

Yeah.

And he goes on to explain how he's done this design.

Some features.

It's made of like two by four timber, so easy to build.

And I've had professional consultation on that one from my brother, who is a carpenter.

Very common material, nice and cheap, but very strong.

They build houses out of this stuff, so it can't be that terrible.

It won't be blue, that's important to note.

I just couldn't really get the wood color in my appropriate design software PowerPoint.

And it will also include a platform at the back for an assistant to help with the hat donning and possible undonning as well.

So a person stands two meters tall on the platform behind the centralized box.

The wearer goes in the centralized box.

The person behind lifts it up from the middle of the hat and can secure it on the head.

Then the wearer will

say to the assistant, yeah, I'm feeling pretty good.

One tamers down, start the walk, the assistant jumps down, also joins his taming.

Also becomes a tamer.

Should the assistant be one of us then?

If one of you is walking, should the other one

lift.

I think the other person's a tamer.

Yeah, the other person's probably putting the hat on, aren't they?

Yeah.

Here's what I'm.

We've also got big hogs out there because we're using his warehouse.

Yeah, great.

He's tall.

That'll help.

This frame, I mean, I trust him, but is this flimsy?

No.

Like, it's eight meters.

Well, I'm looking at dimensions.

There's one piece of wood that's eight meters long.

I don't even know where you can get a piece of wood that long.

That's a bloody long bit of wood.

It's straight up in the air with like no other supports.

We'll leave it to them.

They're the ones.

we'll reveal next week yeah maybe they're too used to carbon fiber and they know how strong that is and now they're going to build this wood structure i know it's going to be very very very very visual i'm not a builder i trust them but i'm just looking at that going boy oh boy i'll be interested to see how that comes together because the main concern from

i've got an

that's the launch tower what about the landing tower at the end of the 10 meters what's going to happen once we've got the record do we just like just fall i think you're just going to fall into a tamer and he catches it with a sheepskin and then you walk it back to the launch tower to get it off your head yeah well

it's not it's not like it's we're not securing it to someone's head if it falls it will come off your head okay but can we would we have two towers a launch and a landing tower carly says yes

I think that was a nod.

I think that was a...

Will it all be revealed?

Like, will all be revealed next week?

Well, do you know what I mean?

Like, it's all

this feels a bit like,

you know, man on the moon, man on the moon, we're going to the moon.

How are we getting home?

Here we go.

Questions, McGee, always with the questions.

We said we're going to the moon.

Leave it at that.

You do need a return plan.

Because there is zero risk where you're going out to Hawks' factory and it's for children's books.

Like, what if it falls over and knocks like shelves and

shelves and then it dominoes?

No, I think there's space.

Okay.

And then the other question we had was,

do we always, say if it's, say if it falls and a tamer stops it

and pushes it back on and it feels secure again, do you just start your 10 meters from there and keep walking?

Or do we always go back to the start?

Got to go back to the start.

Yeah, I think Jack's right.

I think you've got to go back to the start and we want to see, we want the video evidence of a nice, clean run.

It's not

a, we think we did it.

Because we've got, we've got, you know, trustworthy listeners there.

Yep.

We want that Guinness we have after the world record to feel crisp, clean, and celebratory.

You're You're not with any tinge of, did we actually get no asterisks?

Final thing.

Yep.

They are worried that a tamer

is most likely to snap a neck by ferociously trying to catch the hat and push it back the other way.

Yeah, we're not bringing tamers in off the street.

These guys know what they're doing.

That's what I said to them.

Who are the tamers?

You and I, Jack.

Oh, aiming you.

Are you not tamers?

We understand the delicate nature of having to tame.

Yeah,

we'll do some practice taming.

My point is, and I've got to assure them, and I've got to write this down.

Because we were talking about getting Steve Hooker and Jess Fox and Olympians that had experience with poles and or pole vaults and flags.

Did that just

was just too much organized?

Or will all be revealed next week?

That literally would be.

Don't hold your breath.

But can we say as a three, whoever's taming

catches?

He's not trying to correct it.

The cats they're catching.

Because I think as soon as it touches one of the taming poles anyway,

that attempt is out.

So it doesn't matter.

Don't try and get it back on the head.

Most important thing is to have the hat and neck intact.

Yes.

Another run.

Yep.

Mainly the hat.

God knows.

We actually have two backup necks in the room and no backup hats.

We've covered this general area before, but, you know, we know we started this game.

We were younger men, and it's obviously going to happen that as we continue down this road and we keep podcasting and we love doing it with our audience.

Oh, the game of podcasting.

Yeah, the game of podcasting.

I thought you were talking about a satanic game.

I'm like, oh, which one's he grown out of?

No, no, no.

No, the entertainment game, man.

Underneath

the boom gate.

No, I introduced Sonny to that the other day.

He absolutely loved it.

What, ghost?

Ghosting?

Well, you just tail someone out.

Oh, ghosting out of a car park.

Yeah.

And he goes, there's cameras, Dad.

And I said, oh, God.

I don't know.

You're the smartest kid I know, but there is still so much to teach you.

And that's my absolute honor as your father.

And today we learned a valuable lesson.

No, the game of the entertainment game where we're talking to our audience.

And, you know, we were younger men when we started.

So we're obviously going to age along with our audience.

We've mentioned just, you know, finding a few blotches on our skin from time to you just go, okay, that's old people have heaps.

And at some point in your life, between being 20, where you have none, and then 80 where you're quite heavily blotched, there's got to be a point where the first one appears and you kind of get used to it.

I'm going through a phase at the moment where I'm unfortunately part of my body is morphing into my father.

And I don't know why it's happening, but it clearly is happening.

What part?

I don't know if this is the same for you guys, but we know, we've actually documented it way back in Radio Show days that my father has, after years of manual labor, tree trunks for fingers.

fingers yes just like the thickest fingers to the point where he couldn't when the first iPhone came out yeah it wouldn't register him the calluses were strong

it was like though you were hitting it with lumps of wood yeah just going this isn't a human hand there's no temperature there's no softness this is a hard thick object how are you doing that you don't do any work no it's not the calluses Although it's the thickness I'm waking up in the morning and my fingers are puffy.

Right.

And it's been happening for weeks.

And to the point where when you make a fist, it goes really, really white.

And it's actually sometimes so puffy, it's hard to tighten the fingers back on each other.

Okay.

Throughout the day, it drops off.

Now, I'm not saying I have beautiful, elegant pianists' fingers or whatever, but I suppose in that way that we all notice, we all know we're going to age and die.

But secretly, we think we won't.

That's to say that was other people like, oh, God, I'd hate to be them.

They've got old.

I'll never be old.

And I think I've just always secretly been like, oh, God, poor dad.

Old fat hands.

That's

that's that's his cross to bear.

I'll be fine forever, thankfully, because I hate to have that.

And now I'm worried that my hands are beginning.

Maybe this is how it started in his 40s.

I'm scared to talk to him about it because I don't want him to go, oh yeah, yeah,

waking up every morning, yeah, that goes for about five years, then they, then it doesn't go away during the day, and you're stuck with sausage hands for life.

Mine has started in the hands as well.

That's where it starts.

It creeps from the outside.

I wake up and it feels like very

tight in the joints.

That's it.

And then I have to go

like that.

Alpha crack.

And I'm back.

It's like sore until I do that and then I'm away.

Is that arthritis?

Is that what arthritis is?

I think that I'm not going to ask anyone because again, I don't want to.

I want to be invincible.

I don't want the confirmation.

Now, Jack, you're younger than us, so this is coming.

i've never looked at my hands and yeah and been worried about them in any way but now i know it's right around

part of my body i think i was just like that comfort i just felt like i had a huge buffer on dad you can rely on it i was like i was like look at these beautiful look at these beautiful slender fingers i'm just so fine i was the same him but then i'm now it's tough out i'll tell you the one area that on my mother's side that i'm like i've just noticed there mummies at this age and i noticed this i'm going to generalize here but predominantly in women, as they get older, there is an age they get to where they,

and I maybe I notice this because I spend a lot of time at coffee shops because I drink a lot of coffee, but there is an age that it seemingly affects women more than men get to where they must have their coffee very hot.

Very hot, very hot.

Who asks this all the time?

I being hot.

Gwen Robbins.

Gwen Robbins.

You have it very hot.

Yeah.

One caught up with him for a coffee and he goes, I'll have a hot chocolate extra hot and i was like okay maybe it isn't just the way i noticed it with my mum mum so lovely mum you'd all agree a very lovely kind lovely woman yeah

the only time that facade slips is when she is ordering coffee from someone that I think maybe in the past, it hasn't provided enough degrees Celsius heat, enough kilojoules of heat in that coffee.

And it kind of slips.

And it's a little bit, it's not mean, but it's very stern.

Yeah, no, piping hot.

I've seen it grip someone's arm and go piping hot.

Do you?

I think it's the same for fun-loving comedian, Glenn Robbins.

And he's obviously got heaps of scope.

I mean, your mum's beautiful, but he's so he's obviously funny as he, you know, whatever.

He's just a naturally funny guy.

So, but he still is on the street.

It's like they've got a cold coffee in the past, and it's ruined their life in some way, and they can never have that experience again.

Yeah, and then when, but what baffles me is when, you know, baristas or cafe hospital people are like, yep, got it.

They're like, do you understand?

Very hot,

more than 100 degrees, but ma'am, that's steam.

Make it happen.

Make it happen.

Thanks for listening.

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