2025 Ep 309 - Groundhog Day, But With More Weasels

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Ahoy to me hammers hammer.

Yes, it's nicknames we would like to introduce.

Ahoy to me, damper.

I wouldn't mind damper as a nickname. It sounds very like few Australian people.
A few people call you damper behind your back at parties.

Oh no, dampers here. No, it's like you're dampening the mood.
No, dampers like that bread that the bush rangers used to make. Simple, high carb.

Aussie. Jackpost.

And I am keys.

Oh, we're all parts of a piano. We are all parts of a piano.

The hammers that hit the strings, the dampness. The hammers that stop the strings that say to the strings, that's quite enough.

And of course, the keys that make it happen.

Miraculously, it's fallen to me.

We're just going to go straight into this today. What a show we've got today.
What an episode. This,

it's so exciting to be at the brink of something that will either be famous or infamous in the history of the show. We started the year, isn't it crazy?

We started the year with the, let's be honest, the debacle of the golf cart.

You know, it was meant to be a simple weaseling. There was a handback of a huge prize,

a longing for a smaller prize, a seizing, an attempted seizing of that prize, and then ultimately a, some would say fair, some would say foul, rigging of a contest to award a prize to a man.

And we thought that chapter was over, but now we find ourselves in the piano saga. Yep.
A brand new piano sits there. Jack, it's in the studio.
It looks amazing.

Jack's already gone and given a little tinkle. I said he wasn't allowed to.
A beautiful KY ND21 upright piano from Stuart Kelly's house of pianos. We salute you, Stu.
Stu's here. He's here.

He's out of the house.

Don't just go over to the house now thinking that it's unguarded. He's left it.
This is pre-recorded.

I mean, it's a beauty. It's so nice.
We never expected to get a piano this good. And Jack,

Jack Jack came in and just went, gosh, I really want that.

You look like a little boy. We know you're a little boy.
You look like a little boy on Christmas morning who's not sure if that present is for him.

Who's not sure if he's at the right house? He's looking at the Christmas tree going, do I live here? I hope I live here because then I can have that present.

Stu tells me it's perfect for beginners, Jack. but also experienced pianists, what you may become, Jack, if you practice mastery.

The problem I see with seeing it in the flesh, and it is so nice, is I gave myself a bit of a pep talk before the show this week and said, I'm not, I've used up so many weasel tokens this year, I'm not going to go crazy for it.

Remember, Augustus, when you get into the chocolate factory, don't eat all the chocolate. You have had more than enough chocolate for one little boy.

But then you saw the wall, and you see the chocolate, and you found your cup. I could put my head in.

um exciting i should actually point out you can head to uh houseofpianos.com.au to check out the piano we're talking about

jack may have to go there to get his own he likens um hey let's bring everyone back up to speed jack you gave away your piano yes which was a nice gesture aimed at rebalancing the karma between show and listeners yes yep turns out you gave it away twice and you didn't even realize you'd already offered it to a fellow called Lee on your other radio show, which is separate to the podcast.

So Lee then we've tracked down. We've chatted to Lee.
We're going to give him the opportunity to win this piano because he feels he's owed one.

In the balance of the universe, Lee is owed a piano from you. Now, before we knew about Lee, you gave away your piano to Matt, listen to Matt in Tasmania.
He has your old piano.

We thought that kind of balanced everything out. And this is a bit of a warning about good deeds as well, because I gave away that piano.

And then look who comes out of the woodwork, but somebody else who claims that piano as well. And all of a sudden, I'm doing something nice is costing me something more.

The problem is you've done it nice twice

and only had enough

materials or goods to do it nice once.

Yep, that is true, Andy.

You were in line.

In another world, Jack, we would be sitting here just quite simply giving you a new piano, using your weasel tokens to go, you know what, you did a nice nice thing.

Stuart's from, he's come out, he's got a house full of pianos and he said, you know what? I heard about the nice thing Jack did. Look, forget about the golf cart tobacco.

I think Jack could have a new piano, but you can't have a new piano because you're down one piano. I doubt it would have played out like that.

Your inventory is down one piano. Now, the really simple thing here to do would just be like, well, thank God Stuart exists because it just goes straight to Lee,

which we can do, Jack. Right now, we could just give this straight to Lee,

except

you

would like the piano back. Well, I think everybody wants to see another contest.

That's what brings excitement and entertainment to the show. Just giving away a prize, I've always found kind of boring, but to do some sort of contest like last time.

Like, I'm sorry that I won everybody, but wasn't it exciting? Well, it's not the show's debt, Aim,

to give Lee a piano. The show has acquired this piano.

it's not our debt it's jack's debt to give lee a piano or at least give him the opportunity to get one we are the hints we've also put it out to the listeners yep well we decided on last the last time we talked about this there's three parties who have a either a claim or a wish for the piano yes lee has a claim to the piano yes jack has a wish if you ask us a claim if you ask him and then the listeners have a wish for the piano so you have three parties here and the last time we spoke people remember we said all right i think last time Jack was in charge of who gets how many tickets in the raffle.

We think Lee should be in charge this time. He seems to be the front of the queue.
And the way we're going to do this is 88 keys on a piano.

We're going to let Lee decide to divvy up amongst those three parties, Lee, Jack, and listeners, who gets how many keys.

Okay, I like that. And then you get stickers corresponding, and you can place them like on a roulette table, you put your chips down.
So he might say, okay, Jack, you get 20 keys. Out of 88.
Yes.

And then you get to change. How would that make you feel?

I'd feel a little short change, but no, that's actually not too bad.

It's a quarter of the key. Well, but I'm just thinking it's like three, three, three.
There's three parties. Well, there is, but nobody's saying it has to be an even split.

453 people registered at Hamishney.com. An outstanding

reach out, given the fact that piano is a big offering. Big commitment.
You don't have have space for it in your house.

So, well, then if Lee goes, okay, the listeners can have 50 keys, we simply then, if it lands on one of the listener keys, then we have to go to a randomizer on the computer and we'll select it that way.

And then he gets, Lee's got all the rest of the keys. If it lands on one of his, very, very simple.
He's coming to the studio today. He can just take the piano home.
Fair rules.

The way we're going to decide what key comes up is we're going to ring Matt in Tasmania, who has your old piano,

Ask him to walk across to his piano. He won't know the keys that we've stickered in here.
So to him, it's just simply a normal keyboard in his house in Tasmania.

He presses one key and let the piano decide. Let the music decide who the real things, who the rightful owner of this piano is.
That sounds like a good deal. That's a great idea.
Okay. It's amazing.

We're back here again. It's in Lee's hands to make the decision.
Let's have a look back and see how the hell we got here.

It feels like Groundhog Day.

That we are here again. Can you believe this? Again and again.
Gimme, gimme, gimme. All for Jack.
Oh, what a golf cup.

I honestly can't believe it. I know.
It's insane. It's not what people want to hear.

There are booze and there are thumbs down. This is a take that was incredibly unpopular.
It is just horrendous and it's getting a lot of media attention. People are asking.

What's he going to do to make it right?

To ease the people being unhappy about that, I said I would give something of mine away and I chose my piano. Oh wow.
These are promises that we make to each other. Exactly what he promised to do.

Neighbor to neighbor, friend to friend. It's a big sacrifice, so I think the gods will be happy.
After so many broken promises, people here on the ground have low expectations that things will change.

Matthew Campbell. How are you going? Made, well, great news.
You've got yourself a brand well, new to your house. This is a brand new piano.
And so the kids are loving it. Oh, it's the best.

But then we hear this on the Christian O'Connell show. Thank you very much.
Let's go to Lee. Good morning, Lee.
Jack, when can I come around and grab my free piano that you offered? I was dumbfounded.

Promises made, promises broken has become a recurrent theme. Did I at one point offer a listener to my piano? Yeah.

He doesn't know whether he's coming or going. But he promised.
These are promises that can never be fulfilled. And then he goes and says this.

Yeah, I would take it back.

People are sick and tired. Now, I've got no piano, and I would love to have our piano.
I honestly can't believe it. His track record is atrocious.
Yet again, yet again.

We are back here again, discussing the same thing that we are. I don't know because I want a new piano.
I don't know.

Will he ever be satisfied? Here we are again. Here we are again.
This is a huge decision. Huge impact.
The decision. The outcome of this monumental decision.
Well, it's in Lee's hands. In Lee's hands.

It really is in Lee's hands.

Oh.

Welcome here, Lee. Welcome to the studio, Lee.
How's that build up? That was...

What I was expecting, actually.

Well, it's probably it's a moment of huge gravitas on the show. Are you happy with the the format we've gone for to select who gets the piano? Questionable, but really? Pretty good game, we thought.

88 keys, 88. Not stealing half, but the fact that Jack's still involved in it somehow.

That's about snow. That's a good jacket.
We haven't even begun to know yet. And I'm a fair guy.

I'm a fair guy. Okay, well, before

we find out. I don't like this, Lee.
Yeah.

He's coming to the nervous.

Yeah, because Lee, even if you're not... Don't be nervous.
Even as I waved to you through the studio glass, you did this thing like you're looking at me, like watching what I'm doing.

Yeah, beat the fuckers.

Well,

Jack has asked Lee whether he could have two minutes one-on-one with you without us in the room. Like a negotiation.
We have granted Jack that.

We understand producers asked you that. And what was your response?

Well, your initial response was, Jack's already wasted enough of for my time. So I don't think two minutes, you know, in the scheme of things is going to hurt moving forward.
So I will allow it.

Your mission is clear, as I would assume, as I understand it. You're going to go in there and you've got two minutes.
Two minutes. As many keys out of Lee as you can.

Can I know before we go in there, Lee, how many keys you're giving me? I reckon we'll still leave it till in there last minute. We'll just go.

He can still be more than that is Jack. It's sort of nice to literally see your sweat in person.

Well, there's three parties, obviously. There's Jack, there's yourself, and there are the listeners.

And obviously, if Jack's getting his two minutes with you, Lee, we thought it's only fair that the listeners get two minutes. And they sent in a hell of a lot of voice minos over the weekend.

Ahoy, hey, Missionandy. Ahoy, boys.
Ahoy, boys. Hello, hey, Missionandy.

I had a piano passed down to me from my grandmother, but after a roof leak, there was water damage to it that couldn't be repaired. I've done a jack and I am in between jobs.

Unfortunately, my girlfriend's birthday is coming up and I don't really know what to get of it.

I have a 101-year-old great-grandmother who needs a way to keep her fingers moving to prevent the onset of more arthritis.

I'm an independent recording artist and I only own a 30-centimetre two-octave little keyboard.

So anytime I have to do keys, I have to do my left hand and then record that and then I have to record my right hand and then put that up separately.

After learning for nearly 18 years, the very common man, bottom-of-the-range keyboard I had to buy when I moved to the city is so depressing to play, I hardly practice anymore.

My poor 11-year-old daughter, who is dying to do music for a life, is going to be in tears if we don't come and weasel that piano from the weasel. Hey guys, my name's Elliot.

I play keys in a band, but I don't actually own a piano, which is pretty sad.

I'd like to own one, but the music streamers don't actually pay a lot of money for streams, which is kind of sad. For now, I'm just going to have to enter these competitions to try and win one.

I'd love the chance to win the piano. We do only have

a 6x6 brony flat that we live in, but I'm sure we could cross that bridge when we come to it. I've currently got a 20-inch piano in my house.

Quite difficult to play, so I'm looking to upgrade to maybe a 65-inch piano or 70-inch piano.

I've recently been talking to my mum about wanting to get one, and oh, logistically, it's just so hard, as Jack would know. I have four kids.

This house is just dying for a musical instrument that no one can play. Jack doesn't deserve a new piano because he made the dumb decision to give his old piano to Matt.

I'm not musically talented in any way. I don't need a piano.
I've got no space for a piano. But I want this piano so Jack can have this piano.

Full spectrum. Full spectrum.
That was Elliot from the Rubens actually, just dropping us a voice memo at AmishDaddy.com. Imagine being a support of great Aussie band.
Yeah. I love the Rubens.

But they, I mean, I've seen them live and he has a keyboard. That's like a piano.

Lee,

Jack. We'll get you guys to go next door now.
You'll have two minutes. We'll be able to hear.
We'll be able to listen in. Okay.
But Jack, you'll be able to go next door and plead your case.

See how many of the 88 keys Lee will allot to you. Okay.
And then we put the stickers on and we find out who gets it. Good luck, boys.

All right. So.
Do you know? You don't remember it, do you? No, I don't remember offering you a piano, but I believe you. I think

you have a claim to many of the stickers because you

you deserve a piano. I would say don't worry too much about the listeners

because

I know we just heard that package and like oh my grandma needs a piano that they just say that they'll say whatever they want.

Trust me, they just say whatever they want. Like

I think they're all like they're they're kind the listeners are kind of already against me in this department of like winning stuff on the show. Do you blame them for that though?

No, I don't blame them, but it's like it can't really get any better. So I would say don't worry too much about the listeners.

I was even thinking overnight, it's like, do we cut them out?

So just you and me go 44 keys each.

I think the listeners do have a right.

Possibly more so over you.

I don't think so. Only because

that golf cart did belong to them at one stage in a way. I'll admit that.
But the piano's got nothing in it.

Well, these are the people that probably wanted that golf cart and would just take anything away from you.

Yes, see, they're doing it out of spite.

They're not doing it because they want a piano. They're doing it out of spite.
You've got to watch that in the world. You've got to watch that.
Have you done anything out of spite?

No.

I only do it for personal gain.

We know that. We know that.
So don't worry too much about the listeners.

I'm totally pro-listener. Totally pro-listener.
Let me just ask: do you consider yourself to be a nice guy? Yes, I am.

Well, guess where they normally finish?

Last. Yeah,

let's go evil. Is that what you're saying?

You want me to go 50-50? See, that's more conniving again. Okay.

What do you think?

Without the listeners, there's no jack, there's no show.

So let's go

thirds. Yes, love it.
Thanks, Lee. Love it.
Love it. Love it.
Love it. Thirds.
That is unbelievable.

Here we go. Okay, he's coming back in.
Come in, guys. All right.

That is unbelievable. We heard it jump on.

I've never seen Jack so happy. And we've seen him happy.
We now need to ask for your official answer. We heard that, but we want men to be a part of that.

So, Lee, whatever you say next, you'll be locking in.

What is your official answer? How are you going to split up the keys?

I did say thirds.

I think I will go

60 me

60 keys. 60 keys.
60%. Oh,

yeah. Get your calculator out.
So 60%, you. Yep.

So you just.

Did you lie to his face when you said thirds? Well, he's done it to everyone else, isn't he? Oh, wow.

No, this is what you're watching. People will love this.
That's 50%.

I know they will.

60% is 52.8.

That's 52.8 keys. Would you like it to be 53 or 52? I'm feeling generous.
Go 52. 52.
52 to you. Okay.
Leaving, we have now 36 keys remaining. And then let's divide that into

half. Okay.

Jack gets 18 keys. That's still being reasonable, Jack.
So the split is you get 52 keys of the piano. The listeners get 18 keys.
Jack, you get 18 keys. I think so.

Well, you're gonna lock it in you can lock it in

there's gonna be listeners out there hating this yeah well I mean the listeners have there's gonna be

they have been confronted

there's been

firm I'm honest we're giving you the option 52 keys 18 18 done I reckon done sorry listeners see how hard it is Lee now just now that it's all done this is exactly where I've been before we go okay I could just be generous and then when it comes to the crunch you go i'll give myself a bit more of favor it's definitely tempting but i would not probably pursue it like you do for a career yeah yeah well i'm can can i say i mean in terms of the levels of swing we've seen people give themselves on the show it is the largest advantage we've seen someone give themselves on a show i feel like we watched and masterclass in gameplay from Jack.

We listened to it just where you came in and just tried to cut the listeners completely out, Jack. Yeah.
But then we got blindsided by this is just like a survivor finale. Okay, love it.

And I do love the listeners. I will say that.
And when I meet you in person, I love you. I love you.

We'll pause now.

What we'll do is we'll leave, because it's 52, we won't put 52 stickers on. We'll make that the majority.
So there'll be stickers for Jack. There'll be stickers for the listeners.

And anything blank, that's Lee's Keys. Yeah.
I've got a ring to it already, hasn't it, hang on? Lee's keys.

Jack, you were riding a roller coaster, aren't you? Because you thought you were getting a third coming out of that room.

I thought I was, I thought I got you to third, Lee. I'm still pretty happy with 18.
Yeah, well, that's good. Yeah.

For a second, I thought when you gave me those devil eyes, I thought you were giving me zero or like one. Yeah, yeah.
It's 20%, Jack. You got a one in five shot here.
So

and I've got good luck on this show. I'm not, I actually don't hate my chances.

The piano is set. The stickers have been done.
It's really interesting, isn't it? I did the stickers for the listeners. Jack, you did the stickers for you.
Yes.

And Lee, you have all the unstickered keys. It looks like the piano is heavily stickered, but of course, the majority is unstickered.
Well, and truly. There was one instant.

We did a quick count of the keys, Jack, and you'd actually put 19 stickers down. Yes.
Not surprising, but there was a... Oh, that was an honest mistake.
Yep. You had to take one off.

I hadn't finished doing the listeners' stickers, and I was very excited to swoop in and put my sticker on the one you took off. What was that? C sharp, down the low end.

Low C sharp, which, God, I hope it comes up. That will be amazing.
I love you, Thiki.

Lee, it's out of our hands now. It's in the hands of one man, Matt.
The most beautiful dad

from Tasmania. He thought he was just doing a nice thing.
He really, he entered a a golf cart competition.

He didn't ask to be involved in the piano saga at all. But

at the time, it felt like the gods were really smiling upon the show because they decided, yes, here's a young father living in Tasmania. His daughters really want a piano.
We're giving one away.

Boom. His name came out of the randomizer.
Perfect situation.

Now he finds himself. as the magical decider, the diviner.

His piano is going to guide us us towards the note he's going to press one note on his keyboard yep whatever note that corresponds to in here whether it's red stickered listeners green stickered jack or no stickers lee that is who will win this piano here we go let's call matt

how are matt speaking matt Ahoy. Ahoy to you.
It's Hamishandy, Jack, and Lee here. Ahoy, Matt.
Ahoy, Matt. You've been the same.
How you all going?

Things have been said. And I don't want to throw anything out of context here, but phrases that I never thought I would hear on this show, like, quote, don't worry about the listeners.
Oh, yeah.

Oh, dear. That's exactly what we felt.

It sounds like it's gotten serious. It's gotten serious.
The strategy has gone through the roof.

We obviously can't tell you how many keys have been divvied up or who's got what or who's in what area, but... You know what's going on here.

We have a piano in here that has an assortment of stickers on it corresponding to the future rightful owner of the piano.

All you have to do is honestly, I think, let your heart guide you and let your heart tell your finger and your finger go where it feels like the rightful owner of the piano belongs and play that key that speaks to you the most.

Matt, are you in front of the piano now? I'm in front of the piano. I'm sitting down.

Let your heart guide you, Matt. Matt, when you're ready, play the note.
Good luck, Matt. I'm going to play the note.

It's in the middle. It's in.
Oh, no, Jack's excited because there's a lot of green stickers there. Jack is so excited.
I'm wandering across. Okay.

There's some red in there, too, listeners. There's some red.
No, that'sn't it. That's too high.
Was that too high?

No, too low. Play it again, Matt.
I'm going again.

There's a lot of green around there.

It's not. That's it.
It's not middle C, is it?

Is it Middle C?

Matt?

It's Middle C.

Oh no!

Oh no!

Oh no!

Oh no!

Oh no! He raced for Middle C to he pushed me out of the way!

Listeners, I tried to get Middle C and Jack pushed me out of the way. I had everything!

No! I had the two notes around the cover!

Jack! No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This can't be happening.
No, no, no, no, no, no.

What a job.

Matt, you want me a piano? Oh, no. You don't want me.
Wait, you don't want me to have it? No one wants you to have it, Jack.

I don't think anybody does, do they?

Not even Stu from House of Pianos wants Jack to have the piano. And it's his job to give people pianos at a very competitive price.
And a wonderful single,

you just had that air about you, too. He's with the single, he's like, I just feel good about this.
I'm feeling good. Oh, I can't look.
Matt, he was my first sticker on the piano.

I just feel like we have a kindred spirit. You'll play my old piano.

In all seriousness, though, in all seriousness, though, Jack, as you said, you have your fun. We did it for a contest.
What do you really want to happen with the piano? I can't.

No, I can't give it away. And here's why people do it we know why and it starts with the W

Sorry guys wow

Ando a couple of shows ago we were talking about dimmies and tinnies you have the hat on right now your

Dim Sim brand you're involved in. Yes.
You're not the only person, you know, you're not cooking them, but you're heavily involved.

don't don't don't don't want me cooking them i mean it sounds like i can't cook a dimpled

it sounds like you're known for contaminating them

god you don't want me doing it you know what i'm like i'll put anything in there no they're delicious they're available in supermarkets but we're talking about the um and alas i mean there was two flavors just so jump rid of this i'm not doing an herb no just let you know just to be really clear but Beck likes, there's a chicken and sweet corn one.

Beck loves them. Not selling well.
Not selling well. And this is when Diet Vanilla Coke wasn't doing well, and I could tell it was going to get taken off shelf.
Beck is extremely nervous.

Is she hoarding? Yeah. And she's extremely nervous because they're the ones she snacks on during the week.
Do you have a number that you know it's like as soon as it goes below this in sales?

I feel like it's gone, Jack. I feel like.

The other one's going beautifully, but it's... Yeah, well,

I wonder if it's got anything to do with what we're going to talk about because we were talking about the health star rating system and I said,

do you have health stars? You're like, no, you choose not to play. Choose not to play.
Fair enough.

Don't know what the ins and outs are. Maybe it's expensive to get the health stars on.
That's fine. And I said, well,

you know, what can you say to people? And from memory, you said something like, well,

it doesn't need health stars. It's delicious and nutritious.
Oh, okay. And I said, can you say that? I think so.
And then you said this. I can say what I want, guys.

What did I swear?

Well,

yeah, well, I can't play it because we need a little E.

really

i'll play it again i'll play it again i can say what i want guys

i can say what i want can't i it's not what people heard we had hundreds of emails coming in thinking i called you a c-bo now you might have meant i don't know what you meant but that's what the more we listened back to it the more we're like wow who's this guy who is this guy he's the head of the dim sim empire

he's doing what he wants he's doing what he wants and i jack and I were like, well, when all these emails came in from people going, please go back and listen to it.

Why didn't that episode have an E on it? It should have been explicit. Can't I? You've got this guy now.
And I just felt like we got a flash.

We got a flash into who, what is really going on in Andy Lee's head. And so Jack and I were like, well,

I guess we have to

just accept that this is the new Andy and this is who he is. I'd never heard him say that before.
Yeah. But now

stop saying it. It seems like that's the kind of guy he is.
And so that's what, I guess, inspired this song.

He said his dog was tall, which was a weird lie. But overall, we thought he was a decent guy.
Yes, we thought Andy had a heart of gold. But now we see the story that has been untold.

I can say what I want, guys.

There's a big cue who goes straight to the front. Andy! I'll do what I want.
Guess who brings mac is to a Chinese restaurant? Andy! I'll eat what I want.

And who admitted they could run a Ponzi investment? Andy! I'll scam who I want!

Who ignored an ivory band and shot an elephant?

Andy! I'll hunt who I want!

If you were a train and he was a train and you lived in a world where people were trains and you needed a little push and he could easily push you, guess who wouldn't even give you a shunt?

andy ocean who i want you

andy i'm the king of the trains you are a

and i do whatever i f want

okay i don't think you said that that was too much

the real andy

I feel like saying it though now. Like it's like it's good catchphrase.

We're gonna have to deal with you doing your new catchphrase, aren't we?

All right. Shall we take a little break now?

Sorry.

No, that's your time for your catchphrase. Yeah, I'm not buying into this.
Take a break when I want.

Hey, we never thought we'd be the place for this, but it's for extreme empaths to come together and share their moments of feeling, deep feelings for everyday objects. And it's a place they can share.

We've got another round right now.

Of course, the opener being every single song ever written, so no song feels left out. Do you want to kick it off, John Miti? Mate, so many have come in.
Just you're kind of like, oh, this is...

Let's start with Margaret. Okay.

She says, we've got a cupboard at work that doesn't quite close properly. So I have to kick it shut.

Every time I kick it, I have to whisper, so sorry.

I have to open that cupboard at least 10 times a day. So it means I I have to kick it at least 10 times a day.
But I try and kick it in a different spot every time so it doesn't get too sore.

Nothing more than feeling this curve.

Lovely, Margaret. Carly Ham here.
I was drinking coffee out of my husband's Star Wars-themed Number One Dad in the Galaxy mug.

A gift he bought him. It ain't Darth, I'll tell you that.
He was very absent father.

True. A gift he bought himself for Father's Day while I was unfolding the washing.
I happened to fold the pair of matching number one Dad in the Galaxy socks

that came with the mug and set them down in the laundry bench next to the mug. I realized it was the first reunion of the socks and the mug since the day they were packaged together as a gift set.

So I gave them the afternoon to catch up.

Nothing more than fear.

All right. I've got two rock-related ones.

Matt. Really? Rocks? Rocks.
I thought there were some that are just immune.

No, feelings can be attributed to everything. Okay.

Whenever my girlfriend Emily goes to a pebbly beach, she digs up pebbles below the surface whenever she's sitting because she said that some pebbles won't ever get to see the sunlight.

Now that,

that is a long

start extrapolating that you, that's a long sit at the beach because how does some get chosen and some not here's another quick one it's from michael he's in ireland he goes i thought i was immune immune to extreme empathy until i was on holidays in greece i was relaxing by the beach tossing in the odd stone or two to the ocean when it suddenly hit me that rock has been painstakingly making its way up the seabed and onto the shore for potentially centuries taking advantage of every wave and every tide to barely move.

And here I am just whimsically undoing all that hard graft when all that rock wants to do is relax on the beach as well.

This is from Ashley.

I am an empath working at a winery cellar door. Okay.
And we change the nine wine tasting list every week. I've noticed the manager consistently puts the most popular wines back on the list.

So when I was asked to make the list this week, I put all our least popular wines because I felt bad that they would sit on the shelf watching everyone else get sold and fill me with such great joy every time someone said something nice about the generally unpopular wines when tasting them.

By the way, I'm sure it's underrelated, but I'm no longer allowed to make the tasting.

And is this wine the best? No.

No.

God knows. It just feels left out.
God, no, we have heaps of it.

This comes from Miranda. She says, I didn't think I was an extreme empath, but I do have some signs.
I work in a factory and my co-worker will only run his machine on a speed that's an even number.

While he was on holiday this week and I'm running his machine, I found myself running on only odd number speeds because I feel bad they never get their chance to shine.

And the even numbers might also be tired. Gives me some peace of mind to know that they've felt love for at least a week before going back into retirement.

Nothing more than feelings.

Hopefully time for one more. This is from Jed.

In a moment of extreme empathy, I recently put my container of microwave rice on the outside of the rotating plate in the microwave rather than the center so it wouldn't get dizzy.

I've got to finish this one because I reckon I do the same. Although I don't know if I do it as an extreme empathy.
I just do it. through a sense of like, I don't know, sportsmanship.

Abby, when putting a trolley back back at the supermarket when there's more than one rack, I'll put mine in the shorter rack so they have the hope that they'll catch the more popular rack.

Like, I feel like I do that too, because you want to see it be an even race.

Nothing more than feelings.

Too late.

Very late.

Guys, I was around at my future-in-law's place, Beck's parents, and it came to the end of dinner and I was going to stack the dishwasher, but they'd already just done a cycle.

So I went for the unpack of the dishwasher, which is always a dangerous game because there's specific spots for people to put their things. Oh, away from home.
Doing an unpack. It's hard.

But I was pretty confident. I was doing that thing where

when you find...

a friend or a family member of you know that the same type of glass i'm like okay that's great well that goes there oh like when you open a cupboard and you go, oh, there's the brown mugs. Yeah.

Great. Yep.

And then I was in a situation where I put a few plates away. And Beck's mum comes in and goes, what are you putting that there for?

Okay.

Already on the mother-in-law gear.

That's a pretty aggressive impersonation.

I take that.

I take it.

Okay, we're going to lean into it. She's like, what are you putting that there for?

And I said, well, you know, it's where you said the plates goes. That's a good plate.
You know, the good plates go over here. The bad plates go in here, platters and plates.
And I was like, all right.

So then she showed me where the bad plates go. She goes, we've put a good plate in the bad plate.

And I was looking at the two plates going,

these are indistinguishable. I don't think it's possible.
I pulled out another plate. It looked to me like a bad plate.
I was heading for that cupboard. She goes, where are you going?

Oh, no.

Just all on the bench. All on the bench, and they can be put away by a specialist.

To prove how hard this is,

I didn't put them on the bench. I've bought all of Gabby and Lee's plates in today.

Oh, for even good plates.

For a game I'm calling the plate game.

All right.

It's Jack versus Hame. Okay, here we we go.
And we just simply say good plate, bad plate. I'm going to hold it up.
I've got a pre-recorded description of the plate so people will hear it.

That's what you guys will hear first. That is your deliberation time.

Are we allowed to see the back of the plate? You cannot see the manufacturer or no. Nor do we have to just go off the

face value. Yeah, face value.
You can't see the manufacturer. Okay, yeah.

Okay, here is the first plate.

Andy is holding a cream-coloured oval ceramic serving platter, platter which has a slightly scalloped edge with a wavy dark green band. Something you might find in a farmhouse setting.

Easily a good plate. I was going to say bad plate.
I mean, it does look decorative, but it's run of the mill. Bad plate.
Hamish gets the point. Oh, well done.

Who's using a scalloped serving platter as a bad plate at their house? But it looks aged, like I mean, that's the thing. That's the thing.
30 years ago.

Jack in the plate game that makes a plate valuable no not old enough to be not current but not old enough to be an antique it's not like a wood it's not like a ceramic found in Pompeii or something like it's in it's a it's a well-made plate I think okay I think wear and tear still doesn't I mean you can get graduate like you can get demoted I suppose but wear and tear generally doesn't affect whether it's a good plate or bad plate I mean that was I felt like that was just an absolute softball most people go if it's a platter it's going in the good plate cupboard on the night Andy did you get that one right?

I got that one wrong. No, sorry, I got that.

You put a platter in the plate. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? No, no one's putting a platter in the plate cupboard.
I got that one. Bex mum's back in the room.

What are you doing, Andy? No, I got that one right.

The next one.

Andy is holding up an oval ceramic serving platter in plain white with a glossy glaze. It features a gently scalloped shield-like rim and seems thin and delicate.

Well, we know now a platter loves to go in the good plate section so i'd put that in the good plate section

however is andy trying to trick us here i'm not trying to trick us andy these are not my rules these are the rules of no i mean has andy found has andy found their everyday platter

which i wouldn't i don't have an everyday platter in my house but who knows what beck's parents do maybe they entertain daily

and they use an every they have an everyday platter that does look

i think it's still a good plate it is actually a bad plate.

Really? Yeah, I know. It's a bad platter.
It's more decorative than the first one. Well, it's of a cheaper quality, though.
So bad luck. A lower gloss.
It's a lower gloss.

That's what I had alarm bells going, and I was like, and I know the way Andy structures games. And I just thought he's just not going to start with two easy good plates.

I should have stuck to my guns.

Plate three.

Andy is holding up a round ceramic plate with a cream base and a decorative border. The rim features a hand-painted design with teal vertical strokes connected with black horizontal lines.

It's a bold statement piece for any table.

God, it's actually the platter game.

Sorry, yeah, plates and platters. It's plates and platters.

That's a good plate. That's a very good plate.
That looks like finer, almost China. That's a good plate.
Hold on, you too. You both look that more.

Although the red herring there was, it's completely blank.

So I can understand your distress in the kitchen.

You just couldn't find the algorithm that was deciding these plates. All right, now, the next one.

Andy is holding up a vintage-style ceramic serving platter with a botanical strawberry design in the center. The border is adorned with a matching vine, creating a garden-inspired aesthetic.

What was this meal? How many people are at the gym?

It's just plutters. It's just platters.
Was it a wedding?

Beck's Beck and her Beck's taking this from her mum.

You've been around with Beck's. It's like everything has to be, like even napkins go on a platter.
Like it's just.

Wow. Yeah, I know.
Yeah. And I'm the cleaner.

That's a good plate, though. You can tell, I reckon, because it's glossy on the front and then this matte sort of side.
It's ceramic. It's like ceramic.
They're expensive. Yeah.
Yeah, that's good.

It is a bad one.

You're kidding me.

Fairly older. Wow, it must be nice to live in a house where that's a bad plate.

No, I know. Staff though.
Final plate. Hames,

I've got good platter every time. Okay, here we go.

Andy is holding up a light blue square-shaped serving dish with softly rounded corners with a smooth glossy finish.

A rather simple design makes it versatile, well-suited for a contemporary table setting.

That is a good plate. I reckon it is a good plate.
We have similar at our house, and they don't even live in the kitchen. Where do they go? They go next to the dining room.

Oh, no, dining room or anything.

They sit behind the two guards.

Really? I was going to say bad plate masquerading is a good plate. I reckon it's one of those ones that looks expensive, but then they cost you a lot.
Oh, you think it's a dupe? Yep.

Jack, you'd be wrong. It's a good plate.
KB

triumphantly freaks out. I play too.
Congratulations, Ham. And it's serving a game.
I'll have to play probably for the rest of my life as I go out of their house.

But you guys will never have to play again.

Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.
Catch up or contribute at Hamishandandy.com.