Pretty Little Episode #54

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Pretty little episode.

Well,

here we are.

Tig, you didn't hear the

theme song?

No.

No.

Man, it's some, it's something's up.

Is it still as good as

I remember?

In fact, better, better than ever.

It's so weird that I am the one that can't hear it.

But either way, welcome to a pretty little episode.

Welcome.

You're looking very pretty.

Oh, thank you.

I told you I had to take a shower because,

well, because I like to clean myself.

But our hot water has been out every day, and our handyman has to crawl into our attic and put some code into our hot water heater.

I don't know what's going on.

But

like the fact that we are so advanced in our technology and yet you got a guy crawling up in your attic.

For sure.

And it is insane when you think of like water in its natural state on the planet and that some guy is crawling into my attic with a code.

Yeah.

You know, it's

so weird.

Yeah.

It's so bizarre.

But you look clean.

I am clean.

I'm back in Los Angeles.

You know, I was just telling Thomas before this episode, it was so nice to see all of the incredible response to the Kristen Schaul episode where we talked about the afterlife and it basically turned into a tribute to Andrea.

And

I don't know, today's August 7th that we're recording.

Yeah.

And

it's been a few weeks since Andrea passed.

And I have to say, I'm,

you know, as grief goes,

it goes up and down and sideways.

And I definitely feel like a heaviness in my chest today.

Yeah.

Of that, like, God, it's,

it's,

you know, as far as this lifetime, it's, it's done.

It's so non-linear grief.

That's

sneaks up.

The reaction blew me away.

Like, so many people were saying that they were crying and that they were then doing a deep dive into Andrea's work.

And that's how I listened to it.

Yeah, I cried again listening to it.

Like,

yeah, it was really nice.

Yeah, I just find comfort in,

you know, I know that a lot of people, when they know of an artist, they kind of have that pride of they were mine or I knew them in the beginning.

And

sometimes, and I actually haven't seen this

with Andrea, but I know that sometimes people feel like, oh, sure, jump on the bandwagon in the end.

And it's like,

I just all are welcome on the bandwagon.

It's like, for sure.

Let's get more eyes on it.

I mean, how great that Andrea's poetry is just spreading like wildfire.

So, anyway, that's very comforting, but it's yeah, it's sneaks up.

But you're right, it is funny when someone when someone's art really speaks to you and you feel,

I mean, I like shared a thing on it was Elliot Smith's birthday yesterday, and I shared a thing like, Happy birthday, Elliot Smith.

I'm like, I didn't know this man, but like, it feels so personal to me.

Yeah.

I just want people to think about Elliot Smith on his birthday, you know?

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Yeah, I get it.

Yeah.

But, um,

how are you doing?

I'm well, thanks.

I went to the gym

this morning.

I've been playing a lot of foosball.

I'm like, I thought you were going to say flute.

Oh, my God.

Don't tempt me.

I will

buy a flute.

Of course.

Why wouldn't you be playing the flute?

I wouldn't be that shocked.

I'm not going to

order one.

Can we put that on the list, Thomas?

A flute solo?

Oh, my God.

It would only make sense for me to tell somebody that May has picked up the flute and I just picture you in your backyard floating around.

Fluting to the menagerie of animals.

Like I saw the possum last night, the big boy.

Oh my God, he's so big and beautiful.

Well, you know, in country music, the possum is the singer George Jones.

No.

Yeah.

Okay, that's what I got to learn to woo the possum.

Yeah, yeah, you should check out George Jones.

I will.

The thing with possums is they're so cute from the front when they're all nervous.

And then you see that tail and you think, I'm not so sure.

You're a rat.

You're a big rat.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But wait, you're doing well, but you've been.

I'm like gearing up for this vacation in Lake Arrowhead.

Yeah.

But I'm having a really hard time like turning my brain off.

I'm wondering if I'm going to be able to.

actually chill.

Like I keep inviting people up there and I keep, I don't know.

I feel like I should be doing stuff all the time.

So I'm going to really try.

And walk me through what your plan is exactly.

Okay.

Get up there.

Go to the grocery store.

Stock the fridge with healthy goods.

And what is healthy goods?

And we're talking

Diet Cokes, Marlboro Lights.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, frozen chicken fingers.

Yeah.

No, I'm going to try and cook.

And so I have a barbecue, so I was going to do like salmon burgers and veggie burgers.

I'm not going to do beef while I'm up there.

And,

you know, eggs and

stuff that people eat.

You know, I don't know.

I don't know.

I'm just, you know, what I, you don't have to eat what other people are eating.

I'm just curious, what are you going to do?

So you're going to go to the grocery store.

You're going to get some healthy food.

Yeah.

I'm going to

set up like a painting station, set up a music station.

I'm going to,

yeah, just like swim and hike.

And there's, there's a place that's like,

I want to say it's like Santa's Village or something in Lake Arrowhead.

It's like, it's fine.

Should you be telling people that Santa's Village is up there?

He lives there up in the mountains.

Wow.

But they got all kinds of like ziplining.

And I love an activity.

I'm going to, I'm going to do some activities.

Wasn't there something where you were going to like

unplug?

There was something about that.

And that idea has unplugged.

Well, I have, I bought this box that you lock your phone in for like five hours or as long as you want, and you can't get it out for that amount of time, I guess, unless you have a hammer.

So I'm going to, yeah, I'll try and do that.

Last night I put on Dr.

Joe Dispenza hypnotism before I went to bed.

I just, it was like a sleep thing.

I was asleep in five minutes and then it played through the night.

I forgot to like, I don't know, set up my Spotify so it would stop playing.

So I woke up 10 10 hours later and I've been subliminally messaged in my mind all night, like the world supports me.

I am safe.

I'm healthy.

And I honestly feel great.

Go back.

You said you slept 10 hours.

Yes, which I never do.

I fell asleep 11.30.

I woke up 9.30.

Wow.

I would recommend it to Dr.

Joe Dispenza.

Okay.

I'm scared if I Google him, he's like canceled or something.

Well, if he gets you to sleep, you know,

I mean, that's how desperate I am for sleep.

I kind of don't care what's whispered in my ears.

Are you still waking up crocodile?

Well, I'm back on California time for a few days.

And so this morning,

what did I wake up?

Yeah, I guess kind of still.

I mean, I woke up at 5:30 here, which is 4:30 in Colorado.

Or no, Colorado's later.

No.

So 5.30.

So I guess I woke up 6.30.

We were out.

We went out last night because

we came back.

Our whole family did.

Max and Finn,

Stephanie's dad.

I did a benefit for the Dodgers

catcher.

Okay.

And

not for him, but he has this.

It's called Catching Hope, and it's for, you know, kids less fortunate.

And

Max and Finn got to meet the Dodgers.

Oh my god.

Yes, all of the big stars were there.

And

it was really,

really cute.

Did they have like some questions for the Dodgers?

Or were they too shy?

Well, that's, I mean, Max was a little like,

he was fine.

Finn

was like he saw a ghost the whole night.

He was like,

and

one of the players said,

are you shy?

And Finn nodded yes.

And we were like, that is hilarious.

Finn talks incessantly.

He knows all the stats of the entire team.

You know what I mean?

Like he just

shut down a little bit.

Yeah.

It was really.

He knew that about himself.

He's like, yeah, I'm shy.

Yeah, I'm shy.

That's what this is.

You know,

our mutual friend Sabrina Jalise.

So she, I mean, this is her story, but it cracked me out that last night her kid, who's seven, woke.

He's been taking it just going in the middle of the night and waking them both up and being like, hey, what's up?

And so last night he woke them up and he was like, can I get in bed?

And they were like,

Wolfie, we got to start.

Like, go back to your own bed.

So he goes back to his own bed and then they just hear him like crying.

Like, really.

And he never, so Sabrina goes in.

She's like, what's up?

He's like, I just, I don't know.

I want a hug and a kiss.

And she's like, okay.

And then he goes to bed.

And And then in the morning, she was like, Hey, what was all that about last night?

Why were you so upset?

And he goes, I thought you were offending me.

Yeah, I thought you were offending me.

That's so good.

What did he mean by that exactly?

Who knows?

Maybe he felt rejected.

And so he was like, Oh, you don't want to hug me?

But I thought you were offending me.

Oh, so cute.

The reaction to thinking someone is offending you is just to go and cry hard and loud.

Yeah, yeah.

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking All State First.

Like you know, to check and make sure that when you're going to see your favorite band, you get there early to check out the opener.

You never know when you're going to discover your new favorite band.

Checking first is smart, so check All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds.

You're in good hands with Allstate.

Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability.

All State Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

Oh, should listen.

Shall we get some questions from the audience?

I think we should.

That was weird.

Well,

it's our listener audience.

Yeah, yeah, right.

Yeah, yeah, you're in.

Hi, handsomes.

This is Anna from Texas.

My question is:

Is there anyone, real or fictional, that you've never met, but you feel like you're friends with them?

And if so, who are they?

And how have they impacted your life?

Gosh, that's kind of perfect on the heels of talking about Andrea, because I feel like everyone that has gotten into Andrea feels like they know Andrea so deeply.

Very much, yeah.

Yeah.

That ties into what we were saying, that like parasocial relationship, I guess, of like, or yeah, and just people that you know.

I mean, maybe you've had this experience I have where like, yeah, there's people you admire, comedians you admire, and you think, we're aligned.

And then you meet them and you are and you become friends.

Yeah.

Or you meet people and you're like, whoa, whoa.

We

are

not aligned.

Yeah.

So the question is

somebody you know or or someone you've never met that you think you'd be friends with?

You're certain you'd be.

Oh, I thought she said somebody you do know or you don't know.

Like a celebrity or someone who you think.

Real or fictional.

I i see a real or fictional person okay

fictional is interesting yeah i'd like to think i'd get along with jc

i'd like to think he would be

you know meaning mr christ mr christ would be receptive to me i think and god i've never thought of calling him mr christ me neither and i love it I think I'm gonna...

Have you heard that before, Thomas?

Mr.

Christ?

No, that's a first for me.

I like it.

Yeah, I think I just cracked something open with that.

Mr.

Christ.

So you really feel like you would?

Well, isn't that his whole thing?

I don't know.

I'm not a.

I don't really follow Mr.

Christ much.

I

imagine him as profoundly kind.

So

I think we'd chat.

But okay, more recently,

because I've been watching Overcompensating with Benito Skinner.

Do you know him?

He's a really funny comedian.

I've met him maybe once, but in my mind, we were good friends because I just love his material.

I listened to his podcast.

And I forgot that we weren't like close friends.

And then I saw him at Just for Laughs in Montreal.

And I was like, hey, what's up?

And he was like, hi.

But I really feel like he's just so funny.

And so did you talk more to him and get a vibe either way?

The best vibe, yeah.

We didn't talk for long, but we have so many mutual friends too.

So I'm like really creepily trying to muscle in there.

You know, I had a

I had an experience.

It's funny that this question came up because the person I'm about to mention, I was just invited on his podcast

when I go to New York next week or whenever, yeah, next week.

Um, Anderson Cooper.

Oh, no.

I was on a late night talk show with him once, or he had just taped his episode.

Well, whatever,

our dressing rooms were across the hall from each other.

And

I saw him just sitting in his dressing room.

And I just, I walked in, I was like, hey, I mean, I mainly just

really

liked him and wanted to say hi.

Yeah.

But I did feel like, oh, right,

we don't know each other.

But I really, really enjoyed following his news stories and and

has it turned into a friendship or no I've never

met him other than that it just was kind of that

moment of oh right I'm just really familiar with him and he's just waiting to go on and tape this episode and we just had a very brief hello and that was the end of that

and

and so I'm very much looking forward to going on his podcast but he's definitely somebody that I've listened to a lot over the years.

That's a good answer.

And

for some reason, not everyone that you listen to a lot, you feel that connection with.

Yeah, or even like someone like Paul McCartney, who I admire so much.

I'm like, I'd rather just have a quick hello.

I'm not sure that we'd become fast friends and then that would be disappointing to me.

But there's people that you're like, we have a similar sense.

Yeah, like, well, I was, I felt very nervous to meet Sarah Silverman because I was like, I really think we'd get along.

Like,

and I was like, I want this to go well.

And it was at Largo.

I was with Brett Goldstein.

And

after the show, we went up and he was like, oh, this is May.

And we were chatting.

Then I start telling this story.

I don't know.

I was nervous.

I start telling some long anecdote.

And she's kind of listening.

And then about halfway through, she goes, I'm sorry.

I wasn't listening to any of that.

I was like, awesome.

That's great.

But it was perfect.

And then now, of course, we're pals.

Let's hear Anna's answer.

My answer is obvious.

It is

all of y'all.

I started listening when you only had three episodes out.

And I've listened every episode since then.

You all have joined me through many a time in my life.

I started listening while I was pregnant with my first and only

son.

So you've joined me on many of walks being very pregnant in the heat of Texas.

You've joined me on some sleepless nights with

a little infant.

You've joined me on some sad, bumped-out drives back to work,

some family road trips, all kinds of stuff.

I just really appreciate the silliness and the joy.

We all need it so much.

I look forward to it every week.

Thanks, guys.

That's so nice to hear.

thanks anna yeah really nice to hear because it is

such

a a fun thing to to get into the the uh silliness and um but then again our listeners allowing us to flip over to the grief you know

and to i've never had you've had podcasts for but i've never had like it's like a long-term relationship like where people really have been through.

Yeah.

I had that, I was a big fan of my favorite murder.

I don't think I've ever met those two, but I've felt like

they were my pals.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Man, there's nobody sillier than Karen Kilgareth.

Right.

Nobody.

She is a silly, silly person.

That's amazing.

Oh, you know, just to go back, also Eddie Van Halen, I think when I was a kid, I was like, oh, man.

We would be tight.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Should we hear one more?

Absolutely.

Hi, handsomes.

This is Kristen from Vermont sitting here in my own kiddie city on a Sunday afternoon.

I've been trying to get some chores done, and that has been what made me think of my question.

Did you grow up in a dishes done after dinner and before bed kind of family?

Or was it more of a let them sit until whenever you're ready kind of thing?

And

second follow-up is, and what are you now?

Is it the same?

Is it different?

I'm super curious to know.

Oh, that's a good question.

Yeah.

What's your, what, yeah.

My house was dishes done right after.

Yeah.

I would say I live in a house that is now currently dishes done right after eating.

However,

I might take

a beat longer.

than Stephanie.

Like I like to, if something is really stuck on a pan or a dish, I like for it to soak.

Yeah.

Stephanie gets like as soon as the food is in her mouth, everything's over to the

sink and she's immediately scrubbing whatever cheese or sauce or sweating, scrubbing, just like getting it off and getting it done.

And I really appreciate that, but I don't think she appreciates,

you know, the half hour.

to hour I take before I'm like, but at other times, like when we have dinner parties or something,

I am all about heading over there and doing whether it's my dishes or your dishes or if I'm at someone else's house, I'm more than happy to get in there and get to it.

Have you ever been at a dinner party where like

something, there's something said during the dinner party and then at the end of the dinner party, like one person goes to do the dishes and someone else kind of comes and follows and you're like, what was that about?

Like, why did they say that?

Like, there's a nice moment in the kitchen where you can take a break from the dinner party.

Yes.

Yeah.

I do enjoy a dinner party break.

Yeah.

I'm pretty untidy, but I'm not like filthy, but I definitely will forget and leave it sometimes

next to the sink or in the sink, but maybe a couple hours.

Yeah.

And then

load the dishwasher.

But growing up, it was dishes done after dinner for sure.

Now, speaking of tidy, my eyes are terrible.

What is that black lump with the white thing on top?

That's a panda.

No, that's some

that's a pile of clothes that I'm selling.

Okay.

I have like a bunch of clothes that I want to get rid of.

And so my roommate, Matt, I said if he's, if he wants to sell them, he could keep the cash.

I just don't, I don't want to.

Oh my God.

I just had a great idea.

What?

On our website, we should have personal items for sale from handsome.

Yeah.

And the person

we list them.

Charity, yeah, I mean, I've got a lot of things like this, crystals I could, you know, part with for sure.

All right.

Thomas, can we do personal items for sale from Handsome?

For sure.

Oh, my God.

That'll be so funny.

What are you going to sell, Teg?

I think the first thing I'd sell is that panda.

in May's house.

He's not bothering anyone.

No.

Honestly, you could have convinced me that was a panda.

I cannot see anything.

My office has kind of become like the dumping ground for

stuff I don't know what to do with.

Same.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, let's hear

Kristen's dish routine.

Yeah.

For me, I definitely grew up in a dishes done after dinner and before bed kind of family.

And I think my parents would be moderately mortified at just how much of a let-them-sit person I have become as I've moved into my own adulthood.

So thank you so much and love you guys.

Keep it handsome.

Thank you so much for sending your questions.

Please keep sending them to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod.

As always, we are bewildered that no one is asking for advice.

No one wants us to weigh in about their love lives or careers, but feel free.

Yeah, what do you have coming up, Tig?

Well, I have a bunch of local shows in Los Angeles

and some in Toronto.

September 27th, I will be in Biloxi, Mississippi at Beau Rivage Resort and Casino.

Go to tignotaro.com for

all show and ticket information.

And

yeah, just keep deep diving into Andrea Gibson's poetry and tell your friends, share one of your favorite episodes of Handsome with somebody that you think will enjoy this.

I don't know.

Whatever this is.

Yeah, whatever this show is.

Yeah.

I've got, I always have like local Los Angeles shows that I forget to plug.

So check out my social media.

And I'm at Larigo at the end of the month.

I'm not sure the date yet, but

yeah, I'm always doing shows in LA.

Love it.

Well, love it.

Till next time.

Keep it.

Keep it pretty handsome.

Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feemster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin.

The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woulette.

Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsome pod.

What a podcast.

What a podcast.

What a podcast.

That was a hit gun podcast.

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking All State First.

Like you know to check and see if you've got any photos you've taken recently that may be worth printing out and framing.

Those photos are way more meaningful on your wall than on your phone.

Checking first is smart.

So check All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds.

You're in good hands with Allstate.

Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability.

All state fire and casualty insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.