Pretty Little Episode #51

This is a head gum podcast.

Pretty little episode.

Welcome to the handsome pod for our pretty little episode.

Episode.

It's fortunate.

And me, I'm May.

Here in person.

Yeah, I like doing these with you in person.

Me too.

You can like feel each other's energy.

Yeah, your energy is good right now.

I'm a big energy person.

Did you know this?

No.

Yeah, I am a cancer.

July 1st was my birthday.

Yeah.

And I would say if you looked up cancer traits,

I'm pretty...

full-on cancer.

Like they're full-on cancer.

Like I line up with a lot of the emotional

feel energy very deeply.

Especially if I'm close to people.

I can tell if something's off.

I can walk into a home and tell if there's like bad energy.

Really?

Yeah.

I can tell if there's good energy.

But I'm wondering, it's part of that learned hypervigilance

from childhood.

I've had a psychic tell me that I have to consciously

let go of people's energy after I walk out of a room.

I think I'm similar.

I'm a cancer moon.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I feel similarly.

Like people run.

And I've really tried to like in my life be like, which, who do I feel really good after I hang out with them and feel energized?

Yeah.

And who do I feel anxious?

It's important.

Yeah.

And like,

I, it takes me a while to process emotion.

I'm emotional, like not, well, let me just start that over.

I'm not an emotional person.

I'm very even.

Oh, but I have deep emotions.

Right.

If that makes sense.

The rivers run deep.

The rivers run deep, but it takes me a while to process the emotions.

Yeah.

I don't know what I'm feeling.

If you were to like press me, I'm like, I don't know.

Oh, but I will show you in action.

Yeah.

That

my

what those emotions are.

And will you take, will you say, I need time to figure out what I'm feeling?

Yeah, I'll be like,

I just need a minute to be like, how do I feel about this thing?

You know, and I just have to like internalize it and think about it.

I'm a thing.

I think a lot.

Yeah.

I probably overthink too much,

but I care about people.

Yeah.

I have a lot of empathy, keen sense of justice, I would say.

A lot of justice.

Yeah, like when someone's wrong.

Yeah, I'm not, I don't hold grudges or like anything like that, but if somebody does something I don't think is right,

I don't like that.

Yeah, same.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm also an overthinker, but I'm like, I won't, I won't take time to process it.

I'll send an essay of my thoughts and and feelings.

But I'm getting back.

Before we're processing it, I will write things out and give it a minute.

Yeah, that's smart.

I'm doing that now.

Because then I'll realize the next day, like, oh, you don't need to share all that.

And you don't need to say all that.

Yeah, also, people know.

People know how you're feeling a lot of the time.

Yeah, I kind of wear my heart on my sleeve.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't shy away from, like, if I, like, telling someone, like, a thing about them that's cool or

like a friend if I appreciate something about them.

Yeah.

Like, I want to tell you the thing.

Like, I, I don't have an ego in like, oh, will it look if I tell someone a nice thing, will I look silly?

And the opposite, too.

Like, not saying, this is what I don't like about you, but I think you stand up for yourself.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, which is.

I mean, sometimes when you're like a considered a nicer person,

that's

assumed that you let people walk all over you.

And I do not

do that at all.

I do suffer a fool.

I do not.

Well, people can be foolish, but

you don't suffer

I just don't yeah, I just don't put up with being treated poorly.

I love that.

I love that.

Yeah.

But that took time.

Yeah.

You know, I I had to get to a point where I liked myself.

Yeah.

I think if you don't like yourself, you do allow that.

And I have certainly had years of my life where I have let people walk on me.

Yeah.

But with age and time and therapy,

I genuinely like myself.

I've been seeing a life coach.

Yeah, how's that?

Yeah.

Well, great.

Cause I often start therapy and then it tapers off or I don't, I dread it.

And it's like, I find it really intense

sitting across from somebody and diving into like the hardest, deepest stuff.

And I also feel like I know so much of it.

Yeah.

But this is a more roundabout way, this life coach, who is a, you know, a qualified therapist and psychotherapist as well, but it's just a lot more manageable for me because it's like, I can do arts and crafts while we talk.

Oh, yeah, and we're we're talking about my day-to-day life and we made a pie chart of my life and all the different areas.

Yeah, and it seems more functional and practical, and then we can talk around the deeper issues and the things.

But for now, I'm finding it less scary than therapy.

Okay.

I'm still going to go to therapy.

Yeah.

And I have been.

I mean, I'm not judging.

You look to be like, but I'm going to therapy.

That's on everybody's own time, you know?

Yeah.

And people go in and out of it sometimes, too.

Yeah, Yeah, like you go if you're

dealing with stuff, you feel like there's more pressing things, and sometimes you need a break from it.

You don't want to overanalyze things, too, you know.

I find that sometimes people get too in their head about things and situations and relationships, and sometimes you just need to chill.

Yes.

Yeah, because if you're just constantly repeating the same stories, I guess that therapy would help you break those stories.

But

yeah, anyway.

But yeah.

What is your sign?

i'm taurus okay with cancer moon

and gemini rising i want to say i don't know what my other things are i think the moon is like your emotional world okay well i'll have to find that out but i do feel pretty through and through cancer yeah and i they say we're moody too but i my moodiness just i'm not a moody person i don't find moody quiet sometimes right that would be the moodiness yeah my mom would say i get moody sometimes with her but that's

You got a license to get moody with your mom.

Yeah, you regress.

But that's just a parent-kid thing, I think.

But you, yeah, you are a steady person.

I mean,

yeah.

And you handled fatigue really well, or you just don't seem to run out of energy.

I guess not.

What's up with that, dude?

I don't know, because, yeah, I needed to.

I'm taking better care of myself right now, which is helpful.

Yeah, I like that.

My last tour, I got very out of hand and gained a ton of weight, and I felt super lethargic.

But right now, I'm just eating a lot less and trying to work out, and that helps with the energy.

It helps with everything, yeah, yeah.

Although, I will get gelato after this recording.

Oh, at that place next door, yeah, come on.

Come on, yeah, I'll get a gelato.

Sure, oh, my God, what flav?

I don't know, I gotta see what they have because there's a place around here that has weird things like bacon-flavored ice cream and stuff that I don't like.

I'm not into that.

No, I want, I want a classic, I'd like a mango source.

They have that.

I like glanced on the way here.

They have a mango sorbet.

Great, which is delish.

Delish.

Let's get to our questions after all this sharing of feelings.

Hi, handsome.

My name's Letitia.

I'm a long time listener and a big fanboy of your podcast and all three of you.

I am recording here in Melbourne, Australia.

If you really need to come and visit and practice your Australian accent, I'd be happy to show you around.

My question for you is, what is your all-time favorite party game and/or board game?

Party game or board game?

Melbourne.

Melbourne, Australia.

I'm not going to do it.

Y'all put me in this trap every time where I start doing my Australian accent and Tony Colette tells me it's not good.

That was that was really pretty great.

I mean, I don't know where to start.

Mafia.

That's a lot.

Oh, mafia.

Mafia is good.

That's what Traders is based on.

Yeah.

So if you've got like eight people, it's ideal.

I have been in some amazing mafia games, especially back in my Groundlings days.

Yeah.

It was like all comedians and artists.

Yeah.

So passionate.

So dramatic.

Oh, my God.

I played mafia with...

This is when...

This was with Parv and a group of people and with Abby Jacobson and Clea Duvall and a bunch of other people.

And it was so intense and so much fun.

And Clea is

absolutely an assassin.

And it's just so scary to question her.

Like, she's like, seriously?

You think I'm the mafia?

And you're like, oh, like, she just is so,

she's so good at it.

And then, and then my friend accidentally threw a knife across the table.

It wasn't a good story by accident, but it almost took an eye out.

Dude, don't be so gnarly.

He was gesturing and it flew out of his hand.

And imagine if that just.

No.

You don't want a game to go that way.

Yeah.

Yeah, Mafia is a good party game.

It does take some people a minute to figure out the rules.

And to focus.

I'm like, guys, we got to focus.

Like,

yeah, I can get irritable.

Okay.

What about you?

I like that Mexican Train.

game.

Have you ever heard of that?

What's that?

It's like dominoes, but like, I don't know.

I can't remember how it's played, but it's easy to pick up on.

But it's a, you, you, like, stack dominoes in a certain way.

Mexican train.

There's another game that Natalie Mains taught me that's really fun with dice, but I don't remember the name of it.

God dang it.

I'll have to ask her, so I'll tell you next time.

Yeah.

But you would like that game.

It's, you need to, like, four or five people.

It's called...

Oh.

Is it fast?

I like a fast.

Like with dice.

It's like you roll and if, like, you get sixes.

or like you know and you have to keep score and stuff and there's different rules,

yeah, but that one's a I know that's not helpful to our listeners, but it's a very fun dice game.

I like

a game if you're ever at I mean, which you will be like the Emmys or you're at like a really swanky day, which I always am like how fun would it be to get some big

some big game going with all those amazing people there.

But what so the game that I like to play and I played it at the bath does in England is it's called Tissue Shoulder.

And all you do is you take a bit of a napkin and you roll it up into a small ball.

And then the objective is to get it on the shoulder of someone without them noticing.

Oh, my God.

And then let it stay as long.

Yeah.

It's so fun.

And you did this at the BAFTAs?

I did it to some

big names.

Some big names people?

Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So they ended up being on stage with this.

Not on stage because it would fall off, but it's more like people are milling around after, or you're sitting in your seat, and it's just having to walk by and just play something.

Imagine getting caught, though, from

some big actor.

They're like, what are you doing?

Judy Dench knocks you out.

Should we hear Letitia's answer?

I have a favorite game that's just called the Hat Game.

Yeah.

And it involves a lot of...

acting and miming

and all-around chaos and I think that may you would love it and if you ever do come to Australia please make sure to reach out and I will teach you how to play.

I okay thanks for being amazing and keeping me company on all of my dog walks.

My boy, my dog is a very bad boy.

He's the goodest boy, but he's a very bad dog.

Letitia, I'm there and I know this game, the hat games, you put names in a hat of like famous people or I mean you could even write fake grapes,

you know, and put it in the hat.

And then there's three rounds timed.

The first round you you can describe it without using the words.

Second round, you can only use one word to describe it.

Third round is just mine.

But it's really fun because you got to remember all of them.

Gotcha.

I also like running charades.

Oh, yeah.

That's fun too.

Wait, what do you mean running?

Like,

you

run to different

stations and they give you the clues and stuff.

Oh, what?

Yeah.

I want to do that.

It's fun.

It's active and

you go to different people for it.

That sounds good.

Good clues.

I like that.

Should we hear another one?

Yeah.

I just faced out.

I just left my body.

You know what?

I just had a whole thought.

Yeah, what was it?

Where I thought, I really want to post something nice about Fortune on her birthday.

And then I thought, maybe I'll get a picture with Fortune today, but I won't say it's for that.

And then on the day,

on the day, I'll post it.

All that random

split second, I went on a whole journey.

And then I was like, I'm honored.

The other day I was eating with, and I said,

I

um was trying to think of a word between breakfast and lunch and I said to this person I said I really wish I said I can't believe for a second I thought I wish there was a word between breakfast and lunch because it's just brunch it's brunch but I literally was like I wish there was a word you said I wish there was a word

oh my god like what is wrong with me that's really funny but lunch Balunch we should get blunch going because to me brunch is still very breakfast breakfast-focused.

Yeah, it's like blunch.

Pancakes.

But lunch is more breakfast-focused.

Or more lunch-focused.

Oh, yeah, because it's more in the lunch,

more of the word.

Blunch.

That's great.

But how come there's no

linner?

Or dunch.

Dunch.

There should be a, like, between

a four o'clock situation.

Yeah, yeah.

An apertif.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love an apertif.

Yeah.

In Europe, when you, like, go for a drink and they give you all these snacks.

Yes.

Or like an afternoon tea in England with the scone and the

afternoon.

Did I tell you that?

No.

I love afternoon teas.

Okay, let's with all the trays of the scones and little sandwiches.

Cucumber sandwiches and little pastries.

Yeah, me too.

A high tea, they call it.

And I am all about it.

Oh, man, it's good.

Let's hear our question.

Hi, my name is Carrington from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

My question for you all today is: which historical figure would you most want to ghost you after one weird date and why?

Who you would want to ghost you?

Jesus, you'd be like, Where'd he go?

Oh, that's true.

But he'd come back.

Jesus, where'd he go?

I was seeing this really cool guy.

He was in his early 30s, long hair.

He had all these friends around him all the time.

Yeah.

Preachy.

He's a little preachy.

yeah, but he never judged anyone.

He turned my water into wine,

yeah, and then all of a sudden, one day, he just disappeared.

Wait, but to be ghosted by Jesus would be really hard because it's for mankind.

Oh, I see, I see, right?

Okay, yeah, that takes a step.

He was sacrificed, yeah, you're right.

You go, well, I gotta respect that's for the greater good, yeah, okay, yeah, that's a really good answer.

I think I

would I want to be ghosted by

like if I could have a first date with someone really psycho you know who who I know would get too attached just because they're but you want to experience the freak in the sheets yes and then they and then yes yeah

and then and then they don't have to worry about the aftermath yes exactly like we're talking

some Roman emperor really we're not I mean I was gonna say Emperor Nero but I think he was really dark and oh we don't want to go too dark no I want to just

what about Joan of Arc?

I think Joan of Arc would be too like me, like gender-wise.

Like, we'd be two of the same magnet.

I think I need to go a different flavor, yeah.

Like, maybe a Cleopatra, okay, but I'd be sad if she ghosted me.

Whereas, if it was some twisted emperor and we just did really messed up stuff, and you like he put me inside like a giant bronze bull, you know, and then a bronze bull

or no, a bull.

Bull, I think Nero put put people in a giant metal bolt and then killed them.

I think.

I don't want that, but I want some weird stuff and it would be fun.

And then I go, he goes, I kind of want to kill you.

And I go, kill me next time.

And then he

goes, yeah, and you live.

Yeah.

Not

tell the tale.

Whoever sees this and knows,

oh, Alexander the Great.

Maybe.

That would be pretty hot.

And he was by.

He was?

They all were.

Okay.

For sure.

But Alexander the Great, his boyfriend died, and he built this huge funeral pyre for him and like was in mourning.

I didn't know all these guys were bi.

They were because it was of the time.

It was of the time, I guess.

Yeah, no one was judging back then.

Yeah.

Murdered people if you were.

Was it Hadrian?

What?

Was it Hadrian was his boyfriend?

And that's where Hadrian.

I've never heard this.

Have you, Thomas?

Were you aware of Alexander the Gay?

I didn't know about that.

Hadrian was Antonus's

boyfriend.

Okay.

Who were you wanting?

Alexander the Great's boyfriend?

King Darius's eunuch named Bagois was he took as his lover.

Oh, I could be a eunuch as his lover.

I've got eunuch ever.

I like it when they say took as his lover.

Yeah.

And will you take a lover?

Will you take a lover?

Do you ever use the word lover?

No, I can't.

I can't.

And even when people go, hey, lover, hey, lover.

I don't think I can do it.

This is my lover.

Did you ever see that Will Farrell Rachel Drouch sketch?

Oh, yeah.

I'd be like, my lover.

Yes.

It is such a word.

My lover.

This is my lover.

I mean, it's a really nice way to put it in a way, but instead of like what's right, fuck funny.

Let's hear Carrington's answer.

My answer, Nikola Tesla.

I just feel like he'd show up in a weird cape, overexplain his crystals, and then disappear into a puff of pigeon feathers.

Wait, this is a different take on Tesla than I'm used to.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because that he would explode into pigeon feathers and he was this sort of mystical Merlin figure.

I like that.

I know.

I did an escape room that was Tesla-themed.

Really?

Yeah, it was a lot of wires and knobs.

It was too

intricate.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Should we do a quick one yeah one quick one quick one hey handsomes this is roxy from ohio

i love listening to you especially when i'm doing chores and different things around the house or running errands i feel like i'm so much more productive because i feel like i'm part of the conversation and just hanging out with y'all

But my question is, what is your favorite kind of chore?

Something that you like to do that just kind of

it's weird, but no one else wants to do it, but you're just like, oh, yeah, I'll do it.

The name on everybody's lips is gonna be Roxy.

Thanks for going with me on that.

You're welcome.

I have like a spending problem, but not for big items.

So just I buy clothes like online late at night.

Like I'm just clicking, clicking.

So I end up having a lot of stuff that I don't wear and I'm not good at returning stuff.

So my favorite chore is to go through everything in my closet and make a pile of stuff to donate and then and then like see that my closet only has stuff that I wear that I like white t-shirts like black t-shirts basically it's this jeans yeah you just spend all this money just to spend it because I get excited at night I think I could wear that plaid yeah double-breasted suit

Yeah, that's a good one.

I love clearing stuff out.

That's a nice feeling.

I don't like a lot of stuff.

Yeah, I don't like to accumulate.

So there is something very freeing about donating things and throwing things away.

Merry condoing.

This doesn't spark joy.

Yeah.

And you do that voice to yourself.

This isn't sparking joy, man.

Do you like

sweep and vacuum and do all that?

I don't mind vacuuming.

When Jax and I were together, she was kind of that she was very good about all that stuff.

Um, I don't mind the outdoor, some of the outdoor stuff because when I was growing up, that was my chore, yeah, was yard work.

Um, so there's we have like a

like a god, what do you the thing that you cut bushes with?

Oh, I don't know,

trimmer, yeah, a hedge trimmer, yeah.

I love going out there with that thing.

We have these bushes that uh get unruly.

I can imagine you like um, Edward Scissor hands whipping up the shape of yeah, yeah, very busy.

There's these one bushes that just grow like constantly, and I go out there like,

yeah, I feel very, I'm like, yeah.

But yeah, I feel very productive in that.

I tonight have nothing to do, but I have a list of like 20 chores to do, and like laundry.

And I've been on tour, like, I have stuff in my suitcase.

Yeah.

And I'm going to put something on and do it.

Like, do you listen to a podcast or music?

Yeah, music, podcast.

I think I'll listen to some really awful true crime, probably.

All right.

I can't help myself.

What is that about?

I think that's that's just what you're into.

I guess.

Yeah.

Maybe I'll listen to Handsome.

Like, I haven't listened since.

Yeah, check us out.

Honestly,

a friend of mine just started listening from episode one.

She was like, I never listened to it.

And she was saying things from episode one that I was like, that's pretty funny.

I think I, yeah, go back and listen.

We could hear some of our quotes.

Yeah.

How we changed

pineapple apart.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm trying to think.

Two against one started back then.

We need more quotes.

I know.

It's been a minute since we've created a new one.

But I don't know if

that we've stopped being quotable or that people have stopped

quoting us.

Yeah.

Or like stopped lifting quotes.

Have you gone away from our quotes?

Yeah.

Please keep it going.

If there's anything in here worth quoting anything, please.

Let's hear Roxy's answer.

Mine is folding laundry.

I hate putting putting it away.

I hate everything else about it, but I do enjoy folding laundry.

Yeah, I find laundry very zen.

Yeah.

I think Tig likes laundry too.

It smells so fresh and clean.

Yeah, but I agree putting it away, no good.

Yeah.

No, leave it in a pile on the sofa.

There you go.

Yeah.

Fold it neatly.

Well, what a treat.

What a treat, as always.

Lovely to see you, bud.

You too.

And thanks, everyone, for sending in your amazing questions.

Keep sending them in.

Speakpipe.com slash handsome pod.

Yeah, give us questions, advice, advice, whatever you want.

Yeah, or if you need advice.

We have not gotten many advice questions, and I'm asking for them every time.

Yeah, I would love that.

Yeah, I guess all that remains is to

keep it pretty handsome.

Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feemster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin.

The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woulette.

Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsome pod.

What a podcast!

What a podcast!

What a podcast!

That was a head gum podcast.