Monica Barbaro asks about talking to animals

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Handsome. China with friends on the handsome pot.
China friends on the handsome pod.

Cheers.

Welcome to the handsome pod. Here we are, live in the flesh in person.

I'm one of your hosts, Mae Martin. And I am another host, and my name is Tig Notaro.
And I am Fortune Feemster.

This is all true. This is true.
So far, everything is true. We're on a real hot streak here.

I'm sitting on this butch leather sofa. Yeah.

Feeling butch. Looking it.
Thank you. Yeah.

Yeah. I've been cutting my own hair though a lot and it's got into a weird shape and very thick and kind of I don't know why I do it.
Do you know how to cut hair? No. So you just clearly.
Yeah.

You do. I have noticed a lot in life you're always doing this with your hair.
What you do this.

You do a little circle. No, I do.
Okay, I'll show you. Yeah, show us.
Okay, so it's this. The fingers go into it and then it kind of then then I kind of pull out to give it some texture, but it's um

my friend was like, well, that's a stim. That's autism.
Oh, really? Because I do it all the time and I can't stop. So am I on the

stimming? Is stimming just an autism thing or is it like anxiety or it could be, yeah, who fucking knows? It could be like an OCD thing. I don't know, but I am constantly like I do.

I do things with my fingers. Like you do? Stuff like this sometimes.
Yeah.

There's like whole blooper reels during filming of me doing that in scenes and or using the cameras they're using my reflection

is touching your hair I mean they you should see my bloopers is it you just messing a line I mean the gibberish that comes out of my mouth on Star Trek I love a blooper oh yeah yeah they edited together a montage of me using the my reflection in the camera to fix my hair and then doing it in character.

And when they play it for the cast and crew, does everyone laugh so hard at your blooper? Everyone,

sort of, everyone's like, oh, that's old May. And then I'm sort of laughing at first, and then my face slowly falls as I see myself reflect.

You know? Yeah. Yeah, this has started out sad.
Yeah, this has started out melancholic. If it's helpful at all, your hair looks the same to me.
Would you say May's hair looks the same?

Yeah, I mean, we don't notice the change, but I think it matters to you

more than anything on this earth.

Well, you know, it's funny we're talking about this because tonight I'm giving my little cubs a haircut. Oh, my God.
Are you excited? Because you're good. You have the whole kit and everything.

I have the whole kit. I have the cape that goes around the neck.
Oh, my God. Yeah, I have buzzers, clippers, everything.

I have been doing this since the pandemic. I love it so much.

Will you make banter as if you're a hairdresser while you do it? No, because Max and Finn are like, Are we finished yet? Running,

and it's like every few seconds. I'm like, guys, guys,

please, if we were at, you know, we would have to get in the car, we'd have to drive to the barber shop. We have to wait.

You know, this is much faster. Yeah, you're saving time.
Yeah, and money, okay? We are saving our cash. Oh, yeah, you are.
And

so I cut their hair, and then I cut Stephanie's dad, Papa Grande, cut his hair. And he does saddle up like he's at an actual barber shop.
And he's like, well, you know, today

I'm going down the 101. And, you know,

he wants the full experience. Yeah, he wants.
He should, like, for men who have difficulty talking about their feelings, they should set up like a little barber shop.

Like it gives them the space to talk, to open up, to say what's on their mind. Yeah.

Oh, go on. No, no, please.
No, please. No.
I'll say, my hair is like a three-hour process. You said I could go.
Oh, sorry.

No, you go. No, fortune.
it's your turn. My hair is like a three-hour process, right? That? Yeah, because I have to.
Oh, you mean cutting it? Cutting it. I think you meant styling it.
No, cutting it.

That is your style. No, because you know, I sun-kiss my hair.
Yeah. So that takes forever.
Yeah. How do you sun-kiss your hair? Oh, they put in highlights and lowlights.
That is adorable.

So you sit in one of those little chairs with

the helmet over your head? Yeah.

Oh, my God. Can you tell us when you're having that done again? Are you going to come over? Yeah, we put it on the list.

So you go to the salon and you sit under the thing. Yeah, with the foils.
The foils, mom. I'll take a picture.

No, you're going to take a look at your picture. Oh, you're going to

go.

Oh, my God, yes. In the salon, and you just hear you guys come tromping in.

Look at Fortune trying to keep it handsome over there. Uh-huh.
It takes a village. Yeah.
Do you play games on your phone while you sit and wait? You play best fiends, you know, I do.

Well, the person who I've found to do it, she's been doing it in the last year.

It's fun to talk to. Okay.
So we talk a lot. Why is she fun to talk to? She's just like easygoing and easy to talk to.
More fun than me?

No. Thank you.
Who is? Exactly. And then while the thing's on, you can't really talk because it's loud.
Yeah. So then I'll play games on my phone and stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What kind of games do you play on your phone? Best Finns. Fiends.

Best Finns. They ruined my life forever.
I know. It's a dick to do.
I stopped playing it. Although, some people say it's called Best Finns.
I don't know. Gotta be Fiends.
I think

it's a better name, too. Best Finns? Best Finns and Finns.
N-Max's.

What's up? Best Finns and Max's. Yeah.
What's N-Max's? My other son. Oh, Finns.
Gotcha.

I just went, yeah. Yeah, you're like, yeah.

My new like passing the time thing is the capital cities, and I'm at 130. If anyone was like following my progress and wanted to know, because I know the countries, and now I'm at 130.

Have I already told you you should talk to Finn about this? Yeah, he's into geography and maps.

Oh, even beyond the U.S. I mean, it's like

so crazy and flags. I'm stressed because I didn't know each state in America has a capital city.
Yeah. Yes.
I didn't know that. That is adorable.
So now I got to know, I guess. Welcome.

Yeah, thank you. I like it here.
Welcome. When are you getting your license, by the way? Well, I've had a lesson recently.
Okay. But after the lesson, I've learned that my learner's permits expired.

So I have to do the written test again. Oh, I know.
But as soon as I'm done that, I swear to God, you guys, I'm going to get the license. By the end of the summer, it's happening.

Where are you going to go? I'm going to drive around the block.

I'm going to go. Oh, my God.
Every morning I could go anywhere. I could go to the desert.

You can, yeah,

every morning I could go. The world is your oyster when you have a car.
Yeah, I could go to Ohio. I don't have a car.
You don't mean? No.

So, how do you get around? Oh, we're one car family. No, yeah, so that counts as you're for real? Y'all have to ride together everywhere? Well, we live in a very walkable area

and I don't go anywhere. Oh, I just shuffle around my neighborhood and have coffee and snacks.
I'll picture you in a robe. Shuffling around.
Yeah. In a robe.
That is nice to be able to walk to coffee.

I do like that. Or I'll uber, like I ubered here.
Oh, I didn't take a stretch limousine uber like you. Well, I guess if you don't go many places, then it doesn't make sense to have two cars.

No, Stephanie wants me to get one. Oh, yeah, she's tired of

me being like, oh, you don't need the car today. I'm going to take that.
And, yeah, but we'll work that out. Who's a better driver? You or Stephanie? Well, that's up for debate.

Stephanie would swear she is. Is she faster? No.
Really? Okay, okay. No.
No.

And she has a car

that famously goes fast.

And I'm like, why do we even have this? Right. You know? Yeah.
And she's just buckled in going the speed limit.

I'm going to go the speed limit all the time. It's too scary.
Well, at least while you're still getting comfortable. Yeah.

Speaking of getting comfortable. Look at Biggie.
Yeah, Biggie. Biggie's getting very comfortable.
Guys, tonight

I'm already feeling nervous because tonight I'm going to see a scary movie. Okay.
And this is, you know, Brett Goldstein, my friend Brett.

So he, I think some we're friends with them too. Yeah, he's your buddy.
And he say our friend, Brett. You know, our mutual friend, Brett.

Of course, he's our friend. Someone, you got like a screener of a movie because the guys are going to come on his podcast or something.
And they're the guys that made that movie talk to me.

and can i just read you this is what the reviews said because it hasn't come out yet and then i googled it do you get swayed by reviews no normally i don't read them but i'm i don't like all scary movies i like like a thriller and i like a slasher movie but this is okay

extremely gnarly with no pulled punches. This film has such an evil presence from the get-go.

Even before the studio logos hit, you're hit with this disturbing imagery that makes you feel gross and unsafe.

Deeply upsetting. I'd even go so far as to say this is an evil film.
Oh. Like it feels like it haunted me.
Like I'm going to die in seven days. Oh, no.
This is going to be like a bear.

Is this like a professional reviewer or is it somebody writing a comment in their underwear in the middle of the night? I think it's that. I know it was someone on Rotten Tomatoes.

You're going to be haunted by this movie. I know.
I'm scared. You're going with Brit.
Is that what you were saying? Yeah, I know.

I don't normally like supernatural horror movies. They freak me out.
Yeah. Yeah.
I don't, for some reason, I don't mind a

crazy guy with a knife. You can always fall asleep during it, or that's true.
It'll just bring up to bring it. Yeah, who cuts Biggie's hair? Uh, Jax does.

Okay, yeah, because I see some pieces that need to be evened out with clips.

He's been all over the place lately, so well, he's beautiful, of course, but I just see some little edges that need to be evened out. I'm happy to do that.

Yeah, and would you like me to cut your hair? Get that kid out. You would let me cut your hair.
Yeah, I would, yeah. You would tidy up the back inside.
Oh, my God.

Because look at the back, just this chunk. Oh, bless you.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, no.

I wouldn't notice it if you didn't tell us to look, but it's just

like a diagonal right now. Should I show the camera? Yeah, why not? I wouldn't want to show that.
Oh, there's scissors right there. Oh, my God.
You're going to have a handsome haircut.

Do you think you could even it out with just big old chunky scissors? Big old chunky scissors. You know, in the scissors.
And the pen. Big old, chunky scissors.
Have you heard that song before?

Some of these horror films.

Big old chunky scissors.

Big old chunky scissors. Oh, hi, and bye.
That's your friend now. Yes.
Okay. We're scared.
This has turned into a horror movie.

Tig gave Biggie some apple earlier, so I see that you're in one picture.

What if there was a horror movie where the killer sang big old chunky scissors? That's how I started, is I cut Max and Finn's hair with big old kid scissors. Oh, no way.
Yes, it did look good.

But here's the thing. It took me five years.

No, no, no. I can't do it right now.
No, no, no. No, no, no.
No, no, no.

It took me five years to now be

real quick. Like, I can do it.
Oh, you're snips and scissors. Yeah, I'm just like, this is a snip.

Oh, that's nice. Stephanie said, I give her dad the best haircut she's ever seen him have

since she's known. That's amazing.

I had a hairdresser in England, not Debbie, but this guy who I remember one day he was like, I'm pretty nervous because in a couple months I'm going on Britain's Got Talent. I think, yeah.

Or the X Factor, one of those.

But it was Simon Cowell judging, and he was so nervous. And he had a piano in the shop, and he'd practice playing and stuff.
And I was like, I hope this goes well for him.

He was pinning everything on it. And then I remember him coming back after the audition, like the next month, being like, Yeah, they didn't like it

next time, but

man, it takes balls to go on those shows. Yeah,

my cousin went and auditioned for

one of those shows, and she was laughing so hard at like how she did not have like a story, a compelling story. Is that

the same as yeah, pretty much? Like, they, yeah, you need a compelling story to get yeah, right, right, right. Um, have you ever done those comedy competitions when you started out?

I did Last Comedy Standard. Did you? Oh, yeah, I did that too.
Did you? Is that televised? Yeah. Yeah.

How'd you do?

I won every year.

It was my first TV thing, so for me, it was great. It's so scary when you've got like three minutes.
I know. It takes more time.
And then they edit. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Edit all the flow.

Fully edit. Yeah.
Oh, well, you know what I'm about to do with my mom? What? Speaking of hair, I'm I'm going to take her wig shopping. No way.
Yes.

And I'm wondering if I should get her a wig that looks like my hair. Oh, that would be good.
We should get her a wig of each of our hair, including Thomas's. Yeah, and a mustache.
And she could

change wigs.

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So fill us in. Maybe some people don't know what's going on.

Oh, my mom has cancer.

I'm sorry,

I can't uh

it's uncomfortable. I laugh when I'm uncomfortable, yeah.
I understand the laugh. Um, it's not funny, no, but yes, so well, she didn't know about this when we saw her at uh uh the Ryman.

I know we just saw her, yeah, you just seen her, which I'm so glad we've had some like really cool experiences lately. Not that she's going anywhere, um, hopefully.

Uh, yes, my mom got diagnosed like a month ago with um

I can't say the long name, but it's bile duct cancer. It's in the bile ducts in her liver.
And it's a very rare cancer, very aggressive. It's stage two.
She like randomly found it.

She went to urgent care for like shortness of breath. And they didn't see any, she thought she might have a blood clot.
They didn't see any. And

they

said we can do this other test with dye, but you don't need it. And for whatever reason, she's like, no, I want it.

And they did it, and she had a mass about the size of an orange,

a small orange on her liver. And they were like,

This is not good. They set up the time stage four because it was so big.
And

she had a bunch of tests, and so she has this. It's not great,

it is not curable,

but it can be treated.

The prognosis, who knows, it could be anywhere from a year to six years, some people longer. Or even longer.
Yeah, it could be 12, 15.

So we're just

in that phase of like an onslaught of information and like wading through it.

She didn't want to talk about it for the first month.

So I kept it to myself. And

then it was funny. Like, she started to slowly want to talk about it to people.
And I went home to visit her. And,

you know, she'd been saying she didn't want to talk about it. And someone said,

Hey, Ginger, good to see you. How are you doing? I have cancer.
And I was like, wait, what just happened?

And so then she told me to share the story because she just needed help and information.

Especially because it's such a rare.

It's rare. And all these people have rallied around her.
And she's got all these great people in her hometown.

saying they'll take her to any appointment.

She's starting chemo or by this time has started chemo.

And

we got her

set up with a a great doctor at Emory. We're going to see what happens there.

And I don't know, all these people, I I'm trying to compartmentalize right now.

And how is she

with

I mean, with my own experience of having cancer, it's so overwhelming and there's so much information, like you're saying. And so is she bringing somebody to her appointments with her? Yeah.

She take notes and yeah, she went to one appointment the other day by herself and started crying and um

yeah yeah

yeah

oh

ginge it's tough

yeah so um i'm glad she's got you and and yeah that people are rallying around yeah so she said she wasn't going to do that again she's going to take some have somebody go with her so

like we have great family down that way that have reached out and a lot of people said they'd go with her

Well, if anyone can rock a wig, it's gonna be

well. Some people are like, Oh, it doesn't have not everyone loses hair, but pretty much every doctor is like, With what you have, you're gonna lose hair.

You know, she's just she's scared, and um, but is

got that fighter mentality and uh

yeah, just unexpected, did not see this coming. And

life is a bit crazy right now, and a lot of changes are happening, but um, just focused on her and getting her better

yeah yeah and it makes you so grateful that yeah you have all these insane experiences together like all these clips of you guys on stage together and then and then like that we were all just hanging out i don't know yeah yeah i was glad we went on a cruise together earlier this year

these cool experiences the good thing is that you know i'll be able to go pop into North Carolina and more and spend time with everyone's like you know make sure you spend a lot of time together and

I mean, hopefully, this, you know, the treatments help her live a much longer life. Yeah.

That, you know,

it would, if it were, it's stage two. Um,

by getting those scans done now, there's, I think, hope for, you know, keeping it at bay for a while.

A lot of people don't find it until stage four because it's so undetectable and so hard to find and no, usually no symptoms. I mean, really unbelievable that she found it.
Yeah. So

and um

but but she does I know people are saying oh I can go with her but does she has like

I'm gonna go with this person or I have this plan because

I just I would hate for that to sneak up on her again where she doesn't like

that's not planned. And I don't know if that, if, if you have family friends that you could reach out to or yeah, I think so.
Yeah. I think that's the part that's been tough lately is just like

there's so many people reaching out and so many people wanting to help that I'm I'm kind of shutting down a little bit and I'm trying to like, I know I can't.

I have to face it, but I'm just trying to like be like, give me a minute to like

sort this out. And once I can just kind of wrap my head around everything and what needs to be done, I can help facilitate that stuff.

Because I have cousins and stuff being like, let me talk to you, or let me reach out, and I'm just like, Give me a minute, you know.

That's the thing about the cancer situation that I just never realized was

all these people reaching out, saying how much

tasks there are to do

for the person that's had that has the cancer. It's a full-time job for the person with cancer and the community surrounding.
Yeah, because I mean, I was one of the very lucky people that had

rides everywhere I went,

people staying with me, making food for me. Yeah.

And

I just don't, and I was so at a point in my life where I

was such a different person. It's crazy to think about.
But I was just like, I could do everything on my own. I didn't need, you know what I mean?

Like, even after surgery, I was like, I didn't,

my friends were like, we're going to stay with you. And I was like, I'm fine.
Like at my place alone with the open, like these incisions in my chest. And they're like, you can't even lift your arms.

Like, no, I'm fine. I'm good.
But it's, you know, it really makes you realize, like, and I'm like, that's, you kind of need a medical degree to understand everything.

And maybe it would be good, aside from even taking notes, to just, I don't know, like a voice memo and record.

That's what people said, record the record the appointments. But for sure, for the emotional support, to have somebody there with her

because it is so overwhelming. And while you're taking in all of this crazy information, then your emotions come over you.
Yeah. And it'll, it's, it's all, it's so much, you know?

Yeah, I mean, she's at the age where most of her friends are retired, you know, so that's helpful. Yeah.

So a lot of them are out when our church had made a whole list of like people signing up to volunteer. Oh, great.
Great, great. So I think she'll, you know, be in good hands.

And my brothers are out that way, too, and

their wives.

How far away are they?

One's 45 minutes and one's six hours. Okay.

So

you must be too like everyone.

Knows someone who's had cancer, has had some encounter with cancer in their life. And so everybody has different, I'm sure, like like tips and thoughts on it.

Like, like everyone has different opinions. Yeah, it's pretty overwhelming.
I will say it's pretty incredible who

fortune.

Love you, bud.

Sorry.

No,

I think, you know, there's like you said, there's so much going on right now. Yeah.
And this is like

no joke. Yeah.
And you need support. I was just trying to say, like,

it's been pretty crazy in a good way

how many

people have shown up

for me and for her.

And people I don't even know that well. Yeah.
You know,

I've been really

pretty amazed, actually,

just like how many people just care and want to help.

People just... Yeah.
Instinctually want to help, I think.

And of course, knowing her

and people, I mean,

of course, people want to help her. And that's, I hope she's somebody that's open to help.

Very much so. That's why she had me finally tell people about it because she was like, I need help.
Yeah. And

I've just been like really grateful for everybody who's, I mean, even my good friends are like just calling her. Yeah.
Yeah. And like talking with her.
And like,

I don't know, that part just like really

so much.

And this, and I've made new friends who've been like, What can I do? How can I help? Like people, strangers that I don't know.

I mean, this woman that saw the post, like, reached out to this unbelievable, you know, cancer doctor in Atlanta to like,

please help and look at her information. I mean, just like,

friends sending, like, here, here are the things to eat and don't eat, you know, here are the things to do, here's tips. I mean,

it's been

like, I hate that it's under these circumstances, but just seeing people

come together like that.

I mean, it's hard to

remember and feel that you have that support network

day to day. And then when something happens and everyone comes out of the woodwork like that, and you're like, oh, I guess that was there all along, and I didn't know that.

I've been

my hand off of you. No,

I love it.

I've been, uh, this year has been a it has tested me in many ways, but people have

just freaking showed up for me in

ways I could have never expected. So it's like just

what's gotten me through it. Yeah.

So, you know, she's going to fight it. Yeah.
We're going to do everything we can.

She'll fight it. And then she's,

you know. She'll fight it, but as you said, she has an entire army behind her.
Yeah. I mean, of

course, family, friends, neighbors,

townies,

strangers, every, I mean,

yeah.

And to be hooked up with such an incredible doctor.

And I have the means to go, you know, if like this weekend, I last minute, I was like, I'm just going to go fly out there, you know, I'll go see her. And

it's not the journey. It's funny, I've this year, just from things going on with me, I've talked to her every day.
and

uh before we even knew about the cancer and we've just gotten so we've always been close

uh

i and especially in my adult years um

but we've just talked every day and she's gotten me through some tough times and so i entering into this phase of my life where i'm at right now i was like oh we're gonna go do fun things and you know and have some fun mom-daughter times and this is just not really the journey I thought.

She didn't think this either, but that she'd be on at the moment. So that's just life, though.
But

yeah.

One of my favorite things in the world, and I know I've said it on this podcast, and I say it to everybody in times like these, but what's so amazing is

one of my favorite things that Ram Das has ever said is that we're all just walking each other home. Oh, yeah.
And I just just love it so much because it's like

everybody and

home just meaning any point in your life.

I experienced that outreach and it changed my life

like I really don't know who I was before I was so sick.

And

man

were people walking me home.

And man, do I want to help people walk home.

You know, it's just like.

No, I'm going home.

Oh, man.

That's nice.

It's true. Like when you look around, whether it's strangers or your family or friends, it's just like it's such a beautiful thing.
And it it is,

yeah. But I'm relieved to know that she has so many people.

I'm very grateful. She's from, we're from a small town where everybody really looks out for each other.
So

that makes me feel much better. Yeah.
Yeah. But that

her facing this is not going to be alone. Yeah.

Yeah, that's very reassuring. What a year.

I mean, if we were on a like, what a month. If we were on like a talk show or something, we'd go to a commercial break right now.
Yeah, but we can't. We can't.
So we go. Yeah.

They decide what our commercial breaks are from laughing awkwardly to me. Meanwhile, like a little baby.
Biggie doesn't know what the hell.

Biggie's just enjoying his life, but just thinking about the apple piece I gave him. That's right.

Well, Fortune, we are here for you. We are.
We love you. We're sending Ginger so much love and support.
And we're here for walking home. Thank you for that.
I appreciate it.

We'll just rally behind her, get her through this. Absolutely, we will.
Yeah.

Isn't that right, Biggie?

Biggie can't talk.

What a podcast. We go from being ridiculous and insane to

sharing feelings. What a podcast.

What a podcast. You know, I'm like hungry for the real stuff.
Like, I'm good to get earnest sometimes. It is, but

why do I laugh at

being so uncomfortable? Well, take to a stand-up thing if I have cancer. Like, it's a natural kind of.

I think, like, almost the absurdity of just the shocks of life that was what my whole special was was just like because you know in my run of months that that stuff happened it was like it was hell upon hell like you know my mother tripping and dying and my breakup and all the diseases I had and then I was like

Like, it just seemed

relentless. And then when the doctor was like, you have invasive cancer, I was like,

what?

yeah I was like that but it's it can't happen like this I'm like I'm in hell I can't eat food and my mother's gone and my girlfriend's gone I was like how could I possibly have cancer and I don't know if I've shared this on the show but um Ira Glass from this American life he was saying you know people think random means

sporadic and

spread out. And he said, sometimes random can be all things in one cluster.
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that really stuck with me because I thought,

like, in the first three things that happened in those four or five months, I was like, well,

life's just going to be smooth sailing now because I've gone through everything. Right.
And then it just, and I don't mean to say that, like,

there's more for sure coming, but it's just, it's like, there's no gauge. There's no,

it's, it's just

random. Random.
Yeah.

Yeah.

And you think, oh, it won't be me, or oh, it won't be my loved one. It won't be my relationships or my health or whatever it is.
And it's like, it's all of us.

Yeah. And look at you now, though.
Exactly. Look at me now.
Yeah. I mean,

I mean, life is good, but I still have many challenges like everybody does.

But I have a very solid foundation in my life with my health and my marriage and my kids and all that work and whatever. But within those areas, there's still always

rough spots. Yeah, for sure.

But yeah, I'm very thankful.

Very, deeply thankful.

Well, you let us know what's helpful.

I will. Okay.
I just wanted to touch Tig back

up the shoulder. That feels a little different.

Is Is that a Buck Mason t-shirt?

It's rag and bone. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Sorry to say that.
No, no, no. Oh, that took it out of me.
Oh, yeah. You take a break.
Portion you, sip your beverage. Let's go to commercial.
Yeah, we'll go to commercial.

I don't even drink soda. What am I?

Yeah. I don't drink soda.

I will say I have lost a lot of weight because I've barely felt like eating for two months.

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But you feel good, like aside from any sort of emotional turmoil? Um,

I

don't know. I don't know.
Yeah. I'm, uh,

I'm not terrible. I'm not great.

I have

compartmentalized a little bit

just because there's things going on in my life, but um just like day day by day.

Yeah, I think I'm just trying to find the light you know like uh focus on the happy things and yeah what are the what are the good things in my life and and focusing on that yeah you know throwing myself into work a bit but not to the point where like i'm ignoring everything and just pretending like everything's good i'm i i'm you know talk to a therapist and um

just trying to like feel the things when it comes up and you know stay busy Lucky that we love what we do. Like, can you imagine if you had all this going on and you hated your job or something?

Yeah, we're, yeah, like, I mean, it's tricky, it is tricky, like being on tour,

having all this stuff going on, and just and then been like, okay, here we go, yeah, yeah, be silly, but I'm not forcing myself to, I don't go out there going, well, you gotta do this, right?

I genuinely am so happy to see everybody, yeah, and to make people laugh makes me feel good, yeah, yeah. So, that having that in my life is probably what's getting me through.

It's just like being in those theaters, feeling that love. Yeah, the community

so kind. Yeah.
That is what's moving me forward. Yeah.
Yeah.

That's true. And just spending time, you know, with my mom.
And,

and yeah, I'm focusing on,

I've, you know, had,

I've always had my friends, but just reconnecting with them in a way that's meaningful. I've had some really meaningful conversations with a lot of people lately,

deep ones that I just hadn't had in a while.

Everything had been kind of surfaced for a bit just because I was so busy that I've really allowed myself to

connect and

just

get to it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Yeah.

Those are the best. Those conversations.
Kind of like when we all talk about Ponty.

Yeah.

Just like that. And to pop it.
Just cutting the shit and sharing what's important, I think, yeah

yeah so yeah I'm I'm gonna be okay more than okay yeah yeah

and I was just thinking when I was

when you were emotional and I reached out to touch you I'm very curious

you know some people don't like to be touched when they're emotional and then other people do where do you guys stand on that I want to be curled up held like a baby and held like a baby

like if I was sitting next to you yeah or fortune was or Thomas, you'd want us to snuggle you, like hold you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, or like touch me in some way for sure, I think.
Yeah, because

you'd like, like, were you like, oh boy, this is awkward when I touched your arm.

Okay. Not at all.
And then, was there a part of you that was like, why isn't she holding me? Why isn't she spooning me? Well, I knew Biggie was getting in the way of that.

Otherwise, I would be in your lap

with you brushing my hair.

But it is so interesting. Yeah.
You know?

If I'm throwing up, I don't want anyone touching me. Good to know.

Yeah, that would probably be. I don't need that.
I don't need someone holding my hair. But I'm a physical touch person for sure.
Yeah.

So this was okay. It wasn't too much, too little.
It was perfect.

Could you feel me wanting to

totally feel it? And could you feel Biggie not knowing anything? I feel the love from all of you. Thank you for letting me be vulnerable.
Of course. Thanks for sharing that.
Yeah.

Yeah. There's been a lot going on and just trying to move through life as

a person and through work.

And

I think that's part of why people like podcasts.

Yeah, even though

you have to kind of go with someone through all the ups and downs of their life. And

yeah, even in a subtle way. And yeah, it's a really long-term relation

yeah there's other stuff going on that i'll talk about in time but yeah yeah yeah

one

good one day at a time i need this sun kiss to drink that palm one trauma at a time yeah i saw i read a quote that was like um

it's like i was so scared that if i let the dam burst like it would just everything would keep flowing out of me and then i realized like what's like what's wrong with being a river like yeah it's so nice.

Yeah, let it flow out. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Let it flow. Let it flow.

Gosh, should we get to our question? Let's get to our question.

I'm actually very excited about today's question asker because she is a dear friend of mine. We're on the show FUBAR together that will be out, or it's already out.
It's on Netflix right now.

Today's question asker, she's an actress who was nominated for a freaking Oscar

this past year for her role as Joan Baez and the Bob Dylan biopic A Complete Unknown.

And she's also been a top gun maverick. She was the female fighter pilot.
Yes. And then of course Foobar.

So Monica Barbara is asking today's question. What's here at Monica? I would have so many questions for her.
I want to know about playing Joan Baez. Did she get to hang out with Joan Baez?

I want to know, did she fight?

They did meet. Really? I will say, Monica blows me away.
She's she's so wonderful such a lovely human

But she's so talented. She was a

ballet dancer at Tish

and

Tidge what's Tidge

What is that?

The NYU right

and

like for Fubar she does all these crazy stunts Top Gum Maverick she had to like be in those planes for real in the planes and catching G's or whatever it's called.

Do you pass out and throw up and all this shit? She was doing all that.

You had to train your, they trained their bodies for like a year and a half for that. What about that? So she filmed that and then for Joan Baez,

she had to learn 11 songs, did not play the guitar, had to teach herself to play guitar. Whoa.
And she sang all those songs.

So there's nothing that girl can't do. And this is just the beginning for her.
She has got, she's she's going many places,

and I love her. She's such a good friend.
Love it. Hey, guys.

Really exciting to get to be a part of your amazing podcast.

Okay, so my question is:

if you woke up and discovered you had

the ability to talk to animals,

what would you do?

And

bonus points, if you have an answer in addition to probably talk to your pets. Oh,

my pet right away. Okay, well, I don't have pets.
So my first thought was:

there's been a lot of conspiracies lately about what's going on with the orca, the dolphin, the whales. Okay.
Because they're communicating. They're communicating.

And they're rising up. They're rising up.

And I think there's something that's come out that's like

places have made it illegal to communicate with dolphins. I'm like, what don't they want us to know? Like, what are they trying to tell us? And maybe there's aliens under the water.

I want to talk to the dolphins, the whales, and the orca. And ask them what's up.
Ask them what the hell is going on. There's got to be a lot of secrets in the ocean.
100% there's gauss. There is big

hot gauss. Yeah.
Who's fucking who?

But those orca are so well organized and they're like bring taking down boats and stuff. Yeah, it's about they're like breaching the water and just slamming these boats

everywhere.

They've had it with all the pollution and all the water. Yeah,

you're done.

Yeah. I told you.
That's a good one. Yeah.
I'm amazed we haven't yet, with AI, figured out how to like translate their sidewalk what they're saying. Yeah.

I mean, I only have ever thought about talking with Biggie. Yeah.
I don't know if I'd get much out of him, though. I don't think you will.
Don't you think he's kind of simple?

He's a simple man. He's like, I'm hungry.

yeah now i'm thirsty yeah now i want you to yeah give me a rub on my belly and now i want to go on a ride in the car so i can sleep what about like around your house do you have you got squirrels possums oh good question may thanks i don't know i don't no i've got these animals around so i don't have there's some birds i wouldn't mind uh not the squawky ones that won't are so annoying but like those really beautiful birds with like a little bit of red in them they pop around somewhere Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want to know like

what they're about. I have had I have friends who have like

in their hippy-dippy way have thought a loved one was coming to them via a bird. Yeah.
I would be interested to know from those birds if that's the case. Yeah, like does that ever happen?

And they're like, oh yeah, it was someone's uncle or whatever.

But I definitely want, I would like some information from Biggie. What do you need to know? I just want to know like how much he loves me.
Yeah, right. Yeah.

I just want him to tell me. Yeah.
And if there's anything else. But if he just spread his paws out like this and such.
Yeah.

That would be cute, too.

But I also want to know if there's anything he wants that he doesn't have. Right.

I can answer that for him.

Are there any needs

that aren't being met? No, he's fine. Maybe he needs pants.
I don't know. Maybe, because sometimes.
Little jeans. Yeah, little jeans would be cute.

But he can tell us if he doesn't like them. Yeah.
See, that was partly what I wanted when I had kids.

Dress them up.

I was like, when I told Stephanie, I was like, I just want to put little pants on them.

Like, that is what I want. I just want to have kids so I can put little pants on them.
Yeah.

And we don't anymore. They put their own pants on.

But we did for a while, and it was really cool. I love it when kids

dress up in little suits. Oh, yeah.
That's really good. Oh, my gosh.
If you love that, I mean, I know my kids are eight, but I can show you some little ties and suits and what have you.

Little ties and suits. Yes.
Would you be talking to Kitty City, pretty much?

No, I think I know what's going on there. Yeah, you get the interpersonal dynamics and I can't.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fluff is like just the raging bitch in town that keeps everyone in order.

And

Linus and Skip are just, you know, kind of tiptoeing around her. But they all travel in a group, you know, but she just really whips everyone into shape and leads the way.

I would be more curious to see what apes say about us evolving

from apes.

Well, do you think they know that? Well, that's why I'd want to ask.

I mean, do you think possible? Do you think, yeah, I mean, I don't know. Do these birds know anything? I mean, I don't know.
Yeah.

But I'm curious,

you know, all the humans like, yeah, we came from apes. No, we didn't.
Well, let's talk to an ape. Yeah.
See what's the, what do they think?

Yeah. What's their theory? But they can sign language a lot, right? Really? Yeah, well, Coco, the gorilla,

was so.

But mainly it seems like they're, yeah, they're just boning and.

Boning and living in little communities and fighting. And

I wonder if they'd be like, yeah, how come you had to overcomplicate things like they'd be like our life is pretty good yeah yeah and like if they've been in you know if they were like oh yeah when my grandmother was alive she told me about like her neighbor that she saw actually become human you know

like yeah yeah you know my grandmother was alive during that time right you know or my great great great grandmother like a lot of greats that yeah

yeah yeah I haven't really thought about communicating with any other animals. I don't know.
I feel like you would be in good standing with most of the animals because you're a vegan.

Yeah, that's pretty true. Yeah.
They'd have a word

with me. They'd have a word with me.

Although they're eating each other.

Fair point. Sometimes.

I don't know, but it would be kind of cool to hear from the animals like the Lion King. Yeah.
We can hear what they're saying. When I was really little, my mom read me Charlotte's Web.
Yeah.

But I was like two. Like, I could could barely talk yet.
And then she tells the story that she, like, finished the book, and she wasn't even sure if I was following it.

And I just started bawling and bawling. But I think that's because the way she was reading it was probably really sad.
Like, her tone of voice was probably like, and then Charlotte died. Yeah.
Yeah.

You know? But yeah,

I always then used to think about spiders talking and

pigs, babe. Yeah.

Did you just call Fortune babe?

I've been thinking about pigs, babe. I've been thinking about pigs, babe.

I've never called anyone babe.

I have. You haven't? I like nicknames.
Babe, love, shug.

See, none of those three I could do.

I said baby. I do baby.
I don't do baby. Really? Not even like in bed?

I say to Stephanie, my love. I say, how are you, my love? That's nice.
Yeah. I say my love to friends, though, too.
Oh, well, look at you just throwing it around. Yeah, my love.
Yeah, my love.

How are you, my love? Please start texting me that way. That's like, I think, a southern thing.
We always go, Hey, Shug. Do you say that to your bros too? Like, would you text? Yeah, my guy friend.

I've had a number of like broy guy friends have texted me, you know, about my mom or whatever. And I'm just like, Thanks, love.
Oh, that's nice. Yeah.

That's nice.

Don't worry. I'll get you.
Yeah, boo. I'll get you, boo.
Yeah. Look at that.

I'll get you, boo.

My friend Joe, who's who's staying with me, calls me

all kinds of things. Good old Joe.
He calls me like cheeky baby. You just like affection, right? Both physical and

verbal. Give it all to me.
Yeah, that's what I want. Oh, your love language.
I like giving it too. Your love language is actually love language.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Should we hear Monica's answer? Yeah, let's do it.
I don't think we should. Yeah, you know what? Actually,

just kidding. Monica, we want to hear.
But before you answer, do I look like Tom Cruise? Oh, yeah. Yes, you do.
Monica would have a hard time. Monica?

Not knowing that you

aren't her co-star.

You really do. Hearing that training for Top Cohen really was like insane.
Yeah. I mean, what they had to do.

It's a real deal. You could never be cast in a movie like that.
It's insane. Monica.

You do it? You'd fly in those planes? No problem.

Puke and passing out? Puking and passing out. You have to train your body to be able to to take it.
That's insane. I can't even fly on a commercial flight without being like, okay, my mom's out.

She's a badass, though. I'm telling you.
And then Foobar, you guys should check it out. Foobar on Netflix.
It's a fun, silly show.

It's one of those things you can watch and not take too seriously. But it's like good, fun entertainment with the Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I get to shoot guns and I get in fights. Yeah, you do.
Run from explosions.

I just saw the trailer and it looked hilarious for the new season. Yeah, yeah.

I was in Epsom salt bass a lot in the first couple months.

But yeah, it's action comedy, so it's not meant to be taken seriously. I'm going to take it totally seriously.

Okay, so first of all, I think I'd have a really long heart-to-heart with my dog, try to really understand where he's coming from and what happened to him before I adopted him.

Oh, yeah, that's a good question. Because I think that would inform a lot for me.

And then

also,

you know, I'd have to hear him out, but I really think I'd try to

get him to understand that when I leave him at the house, it's never forever.

He seems very confused about that every single time I leave. And then every single time I come home, he seems to have at some point

thought he was being abandoned for life. And I'd love to just ease his fears if, you know, in any way

possible.

um and just like chat

i'm so curious what

he thinks day to day i think i think i'm curious about it okay beyond pets um i

would

really

love to swim in the ocean and talk to humpback whales yeah there you go um

that i think I think that would be or an octopus

that would be really they're brilliant. Yeah, so

I think it would be a really fascinating

conversation.

I don't know why, but

that's what I think.

Yeah, I used to think there's her doggy. This is sweet.

Oh my god, come on.

What would you say?

I used to think that my cat,

pre-Kitty City, this other cat I had,

I was convinced that she thought that when I left for the day, I used to do this as a joke, but it was true, that when I left for the day, that I was just standing on the other side of the door for 12 hours.

Right, it's actually just like and then I'd just come back inside, and then when I'd come back inside, she'd be like terrified and do that sideways crab walk that cats do when they're scared.

Yeah, so, but that's that was a really good answer. Well, yeah, and it made me think about that Greenland shark that they found that is 400 years old.

It's been around since the 1700s, this shark, like since Napoleon times.

You'd want to talk to that guy. Yeah.
Yeah, just blind and just floating through the ocean. It's so old.
Still alive? Yeah, I think so. They tagged it and everything.

Yeah. Those are good questions.
I would. Both of what she said about the pets, I would want to know.
I would love to know where he, what his story was because he was found on the street.

How on earth would anyone leave this dog on a street? He had no tags and he was not chipped. Wow.
So I would love to know what happened. And did you find him and snatched him?

No, the Humane Society found him.

And then we found him there.

But I doubt he was out there long. He's so cute.
He probably got snatched pretty quick. Yeah.
And then same, he cries and cannot

settle

when we're not home.

And it stresses him out. And I hate that.
I do wish I could just be like, just sleep. I promise.
Yeah, you're okay and we're coming home. Yeah, yeah.

Poor little pup. I know.
I'll look at the cameras and he'll just be like, you can see his head going back, like he's howling. Oh, no.

It breaks my heart. Oh, my.
But what if you actually got the sound of the cameras and he was just going,

he's just singing. Or if you got a hold of the cameras, the audio, and he was like, woohoo! Yeah.

House to myself. myself.

Yeah, he does not like being alone.

Do any of us? Some people do, actually. I do like being alone if it's late at night and everyone's asleep and I'm in my house and I know everyone in the city is asleep and I'm playing my guitar.

I like that a lot. Yeah.
But in the daytime, I get a little

bit more. I like being alone too much.
Yeah. I guess a nice mix is good.
A nice mix is good. Let's lay there.

Balance. Yeah.

Man.

What a podcast.

What a podcast. Sorry I wasn't silly today.

Never apologize. No.
Never apologize. It was nice talking with you guys.
Yeah. Always a pleas.
Yeah. Always a pleas.

What if I started talking like that? Always a pleasure. See, it didn't even sound weird to you.
No, I was like,

finally, it takes talking right.

Finally, something I can understand. I am at Largo tonight, June 17th, doing music and telling stories and with very cool musical guests.
So if there's tickets left, come to that.

And then other than that, I'm not doing any live shows for a little bit, but check out my album, I'm a TV, on Spotify, or you could watch Feel Good on Netflix.

Yeah, so I'm, you know, basically just working out the new stuff, having some fun, silly shows at Largo and Dynasty Typewriter. Go to Tegnotaro.com.

What do you have going on, Fortune? Anything? Yeah, if you want to come laugh with me and let all our sorrows go for an hour and a half. Yes.

June 20th, Lexington, Kentucky, Knoxville, Tennessee on the 21st, Asheville, Lincoln, California, Edmonton in Canada, San Antonio, Houston, Norfolk, Richmond, D.C., Portland, Maine, Boston, Burlington, Mobile, I'm everywhere.

You're everywhere always.

Everywhere, always. Everywhere.
But listen, I am so grateful to people coming to my shows and getting me through this time and all the lovely messages people are sending me.

It's really nice.

We love everybody. We appreciate you guys.
Yeah, love you guys. We appreciate you.

We are all behind you and Ginger. Let's go, Ginger.
1 million%.

And thanks for listening to the podcast. Please subscribe.
Subscribe to the show.

Also, subscribe to the the YouTube channel where you can see our beautiful faces on you can see me crying and wiping my nose yeah

head on over to YouTube

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Well, until next time, shall we

keep it handsome?

Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feemster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willette.

Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsome pod.

What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast!

That was a hit gum podcast.

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