Pretty Little Episode #39

This is a head gum podcast.

Pretty little episode.

Guys, you're not going to believe this.

It's a pretty little episode with me, Mae Martin, and my handsome co-host, Fortune Feemster.

Good morning.

Good morning, May.

How are you?

Nice to see you, bud.

Yeah, you too.

And usually I'm wearing a hat, but I'm not.

Well, I

couldn't get my act together today.

I woke up really early thinking, like, I'm going to go get a coffee and then I'm going to go tread my water.

Yeah.

And the coffee journey ended up taking like an hour and a half.

Because I went to this place like a further away because it's these really good coffees and um

the traffic sucked and then the line was like out the door and yeah no treading water so that's why i've not you look shower absolutely stunning you look absolutely stunning i also went on a coffee walk this morning mornings are rough for me but i was like i'm gonna take a page out of fortune's book and like get up and and then i went to the silver lake reservoir and i was walking around it's so hot and sunny like it's already very hot today it's bacon hot and Fortune, I found basically the epicenter of handsome listeners, I think, is

Silver Lake Reservoir.

I think six separate people were like, keep it handsome.

Like it was so uplifting.

And the best one was just as I was getting ready to leave and this amazing woman goes, I just hear behind me, is that my handsome May?

And I'm like,

yes, it is.

And then she comes, this amazing woman, and I'm like, what are you up to today?

She goes, I was just watching Handsome on YouTube.

And then she said, well, I'm doing my slow walk.

And she was with a few people.

I'm like, well, what's the slow walk?

And she goes, you get a group of people together.

And the only rule is you walk as slow as the slowest person.

Okay, I like that.

Isn't that nice?

So you just have a nice little amble around.

You got to make sure you don't have fast friends.

Yeah, no fast friends.

No best friends are invited to this chat.

Yeah.

No, you see.

I love that so much.

Maybe I'll have to go to have coffee with you sometime at the reservoir.

Dude, if you need to.

We'll just walk around going looking around, looking around.

And the nice thing is that all everyone has dogs.

So I met a bunch of good dogs.

I met these two dogs called Lulu and Zuko.

Lulu.

Lulu was like this shiny golden retriever, like full of beans, little pink

collar.

And then Zuko.

Different vibe.

Zuko was like,

like Zuko was a little kooky and kind of like black, like I think a cattle dog of some sort.

Yeah.

But they were an odd pair of these two.

And I just thought, I wonder if Zuko resents Lulu for being like so people pleasey and everyone loves Lulu.

Like I was loving Lulu.

And then I thought, you know, it's probably a lot of pressure for Lulu too.

Like some days she wants to just be a little runt.

And which one was the golden retriever?

Lulu.

Lulu.

Yeah, and she just was like, I'm the star pupil, but she was.

I mean, golden retrievers are just full of life.

It's hard not to, like, just love all of them immediately because they also come with that good energy.

Such good energy.

Yeah, but then Zuko, I was like, there's depth there, and Zuko needs support, too.

I went to Runyon Canyon yesterday and was around a ton of dogs.

Nice.

I used to do golden retrievers.

Met a three-legged palm.

What's a palm?

Oh, Pomeranian.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Do you bring Biggie on these walks or not?

No, it was too hot for him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

These dogs were a little bit meatier, except for the, well, the three-legged palm was just taking a little

tiny trip

in his mom's arms, but not obviously not hiking.

Yeah.

But yeah, there's something about being around a bunch of dogs.

Is Runyon Canyon where you met Jeff Probst?

Or you see celebrities there, right?

You're hiking around.

There's two canyons that are popular.

Runyon's one and Freman is the other one.

Okay.

Runyon's the Hollywood,

in the middle of Hollywood.

Freiman's more the valley, studio city.

Okay, I think I gotta go to Freiman's.

Freman, so Runyon is like

more uphill, more incline, a little bit tougher.

It's a bit more sceny, I think.

Oh, okay, yeah.

Freiman, you'll see people here and there, but it's um, there's an uphill part, but it's not as crazy.

I love the idea of a sceney hike.

That's that would be Runyon, yeah yeah okay i'm gonna go to runyon then i want to see probes i i don't do runyon very often um but i went there uh to meet a bunch of dogs i love it yeah good to start your day walking around in the sun it sure is that's the beauty of la that you know it has a bad rap but a lot of sunshine a lot of hiking hiking is very popular No one walks in the city, but they will hike.

Yes.

And a lot of nice little coffee shops.

I had a corn cake, I want to say, for breakfast.

It was like a cornbread muffin, but inside was marmalade, orange marmalade.

Ooh,

there's a lot of good coffee shops in Silverlake.

Hell yes.

I never say hell yes, but felt right in the moment.

Hell yes.

And you can walk till you're walkable where you are.

I actually did take an Uber to the Silver, to the reservoir.

I could have walked, but I took an Uber Black to the

Uber Black.

You are hilarious that you take these fancy Ubers places.

I don't know why I do it.

It's gotten, it's a habit.

It's expensive.

Well, sometimes when you look on the app, they're the same price.

Oh, well, if it's the same price, then yeah, but

it's like going like 10 minutes down the road.

You don't really need an Uber black.

Oh, it's psychotic.

But I think what I like about it is they wait for 15 minutes.

And you're never ready.

I'm never ready.

I always, I'll book my Uber when i'm still in bed in my pajamas oh my god and then i'm like

i got it and then i get up i rinse and and then like i'm paying to for you to wait for me buddy and i always have to message them going be right there and they go okay and then i get it and i always say thanks for waiting and they go okay

yeah i'm i'm very like

uh i'm very time-oriented yeah that's why

i know the exact amount of time i need to do everything

And so I usually have it pretty mapped out in my head when I need to call the oobs.

Do you get like guilt if you don't have, like, if you have an evening where you're doing fuck all, do you have like a feeling in your stomach?

Like, I should be using this time?

No, I, I mean, as busy as I am and like as crazy as my schedule gets, I love

a sit on the couch, do nothing night.

Yes.

And I, or, or a Sunday afternoon.

I do not sweat it.

I'm like, I haven't done anything.

I don't care.

I'm in my sweatpants.

That's so fun.

Because I know how hard I work.

And I'm like, I know I'm not lazy.

Yeah.

But I will have a lazy day here and there because I need it.

That's really nice.

I saw Sinners the other day.

Oh, yeah?

Loved it.

Everyone's said such great things about it.

Well, I like vampires.

I'm a vampire guy.

Like, there's something horny about vampires.

Oh, so horny.

So horny, right?

Yeah.

And the person I saw it with did not know it was a vampire movie.

So like half an hour into it

or 40 minutes when it was revealed to be vampires, like she thought it was just a Western.

So she was like, what the fuck?

Which is pretty juicy.

It is important to know it's about vampires going into it.

Or let it surprise you.

Or a real twist.

Yeah.

Hey, should we see what our listeners want to ask us today?

Yellow Cowboy.

Yeah, let's do it.

Hi, handsomes.

This is Katie from Portland, Oregon.

I'm a veterinarian and a big animal lover.

And I know you all love animals too.

I love hearing about Kitty City, Biggie with his big sparkling lively eyes, and the little tiny pups that May had recently.

My question for you is, if you could be reincarnated as any animal, what would you want to come back as and why?

Oh, incredible question.

Incredible.

Well, I have a theory that people are either birds or dogs.

Really?

I think of the handsome world, I think maybe Tig might be a bird.

I could see that.

I think we're dogs, maybe.

Nah, Tig has sort of Australian cattle dog energy too, sometimes.

But

so I think dog.

And I think having just spoken about golden retrievers, like, I think that'd be pretty good because

the thing about golden retrievers is they

take the love they're given and they're thrilled about it.

Like, I don't think they're ever going, oh.

I need, like, I wish I had no needs and I could just wait for somebody to get home and then shower them with love and not have any needs.

And golden retrievers seem oblivious to like bad stuff.

Oh, they're not stressed about climate change.

They're too blessed to be stressed.

Too blessed to be stressed.

Yeah, golden retriever or

like a dolphin would be cool, but I think they've got the weight of the world on their shoulders.

They're too smart.

What about you?

I mean,

I know this is weird because Biggie is right here.

He really does have the best life.

I would say Pomeranians in general seem to be well taken care of.

Their owners are obsessed with them.

Yeah.

I've not, there's few times I've seen a Pomeranian not being doted on by many.

How funny that we both chose animals based on like receiving constant love from humans.

Like we both.

The only bummer is that dogs don't live long enough.

That's fine.

Like let me shuffle off the mortal coil when it's all become too much, you know?

Like I just today was talking to someone and being like, shuffle off.

I don't know that I fear.

I mean, obviously, God forbid, like, don't want to, don't want to perish, but

I do, I've read enough, like, mystical things and seen enough, like, people who've had near-death experiences and stuff that I'm like, I think it is just like a huge relief and you get absorbed into some universal

love and peace.

And I'm like, I think that'll be fine.

The sadness comes from the people you leave behind.

That's true.

Because they're still uh dealing with that grief yeah yeah but yeah so I don't mind a golden retriever is what 14 years

12 to 14 yeah isn't is that not enough like what I don't know do we really need more than that palms can palms can be anywhere from 13 to like 19 really

yeah it just depends oh fuck you know it would be cool

cutie you know um those giant tortoises that they can there was one that was around when Darwin was around, and it lived like a hundred years, this tortoise.

That's definitely too long.

But maybe time moves at a different speed when you're just lumbering around.

Yeah, I don't want to live.

I would like somewhere in the middle.

Yeah.

But I don't know.

I mean, there's this Greenland shark that has been alive since Napoleonic times.

It's like 400 years old.

It's still alive now.

Yeah, no thanks.

No thanks, right?

No, just

blind and floating through the ocean, kind of confused.

Even with humans, when they're like, you know, Martha just celebrated her 108th birthday.

I'm like, no.

Really?

You don't want that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The only thing is, there's a lot of books I'd like to read.

So I could, if I can still read and understand books, I could just hang on for another couple decades just reading and catching up.

Like even if I'm sitting in a chair, you know.

All All right.

Well, what's your

Katie's answer?

Yes, please.

Unlike folks who choose a majestic wild animal like an eagle or a dolphin, I'm not interested in coming back as a creature who has to really work for a living.

I would choose to be a pampered house cat.

Yeah.

These cats have it so freaking good.

They sleep 18 hours a day.

They have a full staff caring for their every need, often overfeeding them.

Some even have a custom catio to enjoy.

A cat.

I've really got it made.

So I choose a house cat.

Katie

is in line with our thinking.

They sleep 18 hours a day, for real.

That seems like a lot.

18.

I've never had a cat, so I don't know.

All I know is that they seem to really come alive at night when you're trying to sleep, and it's just these like irregular patterns of like

across the house.

And don't they like jump on their owners' like heads and stuff during the middle of the night?

Right.

Well, that's the thing they say.

It could fall asleep on your head and suffocate you.

Oh.

Well, this is why I'm dog.

Yeah.

I'm dog.

Yeah, Biggie just saddles up to me and lays

like he just like lays in my nook.

In your nooks?

My nooks.

You mean like where my knee, like, you know where your knees kind of been?

Oh, he'll like dig into there.

Or like if I'm on my side, he'll dig into like my back.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love it.

Love it.

Let's hear another one.

Hi, handsomes.

This is Lori from New Jersey.

I listen to you guys all the time.

Love you.

My question is about nature versus nurture.

So I found out in my late 40s that I was conceived via sperm donor, big family secret, all sorts of messy, as you can imagine, and have since met and gotten quite close with some of my diblings or donor siblings, as we say.

And it's been shocking to me, with my sister in particular, how similar we are.

and i'm just curious if you have any thoughts about nature versus nurture and the importance of dna

i think you and i can get to the bottom of this yeah we're gonna all these pros

all the answers yeah i mean that's i mean that's an age-old question right yeah that is super interesting and and i i you read about those like twins separated at birth who have identical lives i mean i do think there are many characteristics that you share because of dna but you you also hear of like

the siblings, you know, separated, having wildly different lives based on economics and if the parents were loving or together or if there was an alcoholic in the family.

I mean, that stuff definitely shapes you as well.

Yeah.

To me, it's like a combo.

I don't know that you can

just be based off one thing.

A complex combo of the two.

And each and each quality is probably different like maybe there's like medical conditions that are largely nature but maybe there's

yeah personality things that are purely nurture i mean i think about sexuality a lot and i'm like i tend to think that there's so much cultural stuff that like uh

like they studied a thousand different animal species and they found bisexuality in all thousand species and like and i've met people who are

who say yeah if I was growing up now 100% I would have been I would have been bi growing up and explored that part of myself but I just you know what I mean

like what was acceptable in certain times is what sort of

uh was more prevalent yeah like that's why sometimes like born this way feels like kind of a

a cop out sometimes because it's kind of being like please please let me live because I was just born this way and I can't help it it's like well what if it is

there's an element of it that is

a choice as well.

Yeah, but that's probably why there's a spectrum of it, right?

Like, some people were just like, this is me, this is who I've been since day one.

And other people are like,

I kind of, as I've gotten older, I'm curious about this thing.

Yeah, yeah, totally.

Yeah, different versions of that.

So we're saying nature.

I mean, I just think there's no way to not have a combo of the two.

Like,

you know, I've also seen situations where people

who've had to overcome a lot

have like

perseverance or people that were given everything sometimes are like a little lazy.

Again, these are all like generalizations.

You know, it shapes these circumstances shape you as far as how you approach the world.

Yeah, it seems like the general answer is it's a complex combo of the two.

But I'm interested in Lori's story and meeting like biological part relatives and finding similarity.

That's super interesting.

Should we hear what she has to say?

I would say for me, what I've realized is that they both come into play.

You cannot negate one or the other.

And I guess the importance of one or the other maybe depends on your family

upbringing.

I had a fantastic childhood with my family, and I think I very much benefited from the nurture of my environment.

But I also really appreciate now that I have this amazing connection with my sister, with whom I share half of the DNA from our sperm donor dad.

Thanks, you guys, so much.

Love you.

Bye.

Thanks, Lori.

You ever seen those videos of twins in the womb and they're like playing hide and seek in the womb?

No.

I don't think so.

They're literally one of them is like hiding behind some uterine lining.

It's insane.

And And they're like playing games with each other.

And then when they're born, they continue playing those same games and stuff.

Oh, wow.

Is it prevalent?

Not that we're experts on twins, but that one's kind of like

stronger than the one.

We'd have to ask.

The more dominant one, and then that kind of continues.

That's what I've always thought.

But maybe that's like a 90s, like a 90s belief.

I don't know.

There's like, sometimes you see these twins where there's like this like popular, good-looking one, and then the like quiet, nerdy one.

Yeah.

And I feel like the one was like the boss in the womb.

Yeah, getting all the nutrients and stuff.

I mean, I'd be kind of pissed if I was a baby and I was like, this is supposed to be my time to like germinate.

And then I'm going to share this little thing with someone else.

Yeah.

I don't know a lot of twins, I guess.

Yeah.

In my own personal life to really

ask these questions.

Max and Finn.

Which one of you that we could sit Max and Finn down to ask him some questions?

We're like, and are you resentful that your womb time was shared?

They're like, what?

We just want to play baseball.

Well, this was an absolute blast.

It sure was, May.

I'm glad you started your morning off in such a pleasant way.

Yeah, yeah.

And

I have to do that.

I have to say yes to when people invite me for like a a coffee and just get out of the house and do that.

Yeah.

I think that's, yeah, my, gonna be my motto moving forward is being open and saying yes to fun new opportunities and just uh you know seeing what life has to offer.

I'm gonna hold you to that.

I'm gonna hit you up with some invites.

That's right.

I'll keep firing them at you.

Please do.

We're gonna hang.

We're gonna hang soon.

Do you play foosball?

I mean, I'm not, I know how to play.

I don't, I'm,

I will get, I will get back into it for you.

I got a table, so you did get a table.

I did get a table, and I want to, I want to have a tournament.

You know, I love you live.

Your bachelor life.

I really am trying my best.

But then deep down, I just want to be a golden retriever waiting for someone to come home.

Aw, didn't you have people over for your...

I was out of town, so I'm not offended.

For your birthday?

I did.

I did indeed.

Yeah.

How was that?

Was that your first big...

Yeah, it was my first.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I'll talk about it on the main podcast.

It was a real blast.

Thomas came.

We played some foosball.

Yeah, it was fun.

Well, we'll hear more about it when we're with our friend Tig.

Yeah.

I had a touch of the old birthday depression, but powered through with all the pals.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I'm glad you were surrounded by your friends.

100%.

Even the skunks came to visit late at night.

The big bulbous boy and the little baby one.

That's because you guys had food around.

Oh, you're right, actually.

Yeah.

But then I'm kind of want to, I mean, this could is a slippery slope, but I want to leave, I want to attract no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I want to leave garbage.

No, Dr.

Doolittle,

we're not doing that to not at your house.

No, because it won't get out of control.

Yeah, there'd be coyotes.

Just enjoy the ones that are coming in

naturally.

Yeah, welcome them, but don't encourage them.

Well, please keep submitting your questions.

We're loving these.

Go to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod.

Drop us a line and keep telling your pals about the pod and let us know what you want to hear from us and what how you envision the future of handsome.

That's right.

And if you see us walking around the reservoir, please approach us.

Please.

I love a

being in the wild and someone telling me to keep it handsome.

It's pretty fun.

It's the best.

Yeah.

Well, good to see you, pal.

Good to see you.

I hope everybody has an awesome day.

Yeah, me too.

I hope that too.

And I hope everybody remembers to keep it.

Keep it pretty.

Pretty handsome.

Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feemster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin.

The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woulette.

Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsome pod.

What a podcast!

What a podcast!

What a podcast!

That was a hit gun podcast.