Rebel Wilson asks about good investments

This is a head gum podcast.

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking All State First.

Like, you know, to check that when you're cutting up a cake, there's a slice for everyone who wants one.

Plus, it never hurts to check that you have ice cream as well.

Checking first is smart.

So, check all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds.

You're in good hands with Allstate.

Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability.

Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

Cheers.

It is your friend Tignotaro, one of three hosts of the Handsome Podcast.

I am also one of the three hosts of this podcast.

You know me as Mae Martin.

And I'm joined by the third.

The third

handsome pod

host, Fortune Deemster.

Oh, yeah.

I set us up for an awkward intro, but

what is new?

I actually really liked that one.

Oh, okay.

I feel like you did something a little different with it.

I did.

And I thought I really threw things off.

It turns out I just nailed it again.

Yeah, a little jolt in the morning.

Nailed it.

Nailed it again.

I still sound sexy this episode.

You sure do.

Yeah, you really do.

And you're drinking your tea, which clearly doesn't work.

No whiskey.

Oh, yeah.

I think this is, it would cross over into me being worried.

If it's 8:45 in the morning, if you had whiskey, it is morning time, so part of it is that I have morning voice.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

My voice is down here.

My voice is up here.

My voice is down here.

Crazy.

That boys wake up with bone bones.

Like, that's insane.

I don't think we talk enough about that on this pod.

No, we don't.

We really need to dive into that more.

But you know what's really funny is I just sang my voice is up here and our housekeeper is cleaning our bedroom and doesn't know I'm recording.

And so I'm just in this room singing a high-pitch, my voice is up here.

Any hoodles.

That's true.

Yes.

Now, tell me this.

Were you both up this early and going?

And would this normally be when you're up and going?

Or did you have to set an alarm for this 8.45 a.m.

handsome recording?

As you know, I logged on at 8.49.

I got out of bed at 8.36.

I got into the shower fast.

Whoa.

Like just a rinse.

Yep.

And then I jumped on.

Tell us more about it.

about the shower go into more detail what else did you have a loofah i i i didn't loofah you know i just used my macho body wash blathered up the abs first just washed the abs do your macho body wash is it like that kind of um cologne smelling body wash yeah i've i've graduated i used to use like Irish Spring, like teen boy kind of smell, and now I'm using a Hinoki and sesame.

I think it's Lalabo but it is like basically cologne smell I know I do like the smell of lalabo it's so good isn't it yeah but when you go in that's they're too much when you go in there I find it fascinating

that

men

wear a masculine smelling scent and that women wear like

flowery smelling scent because you're essentially you would think it would be the opposite to like lure a a woman somewhere would be to smell like flowers.

Interesting.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Interesting.

That's something I think about all the time, my friends.

So my feeling is men should have the flowery scent on them.

And not that, obviously, it just depends on what your gender and sexuality is and that makes sense for the mix.

But I'm talking about just the straightforward, typical male-female relationship of...

Right.

Heterosexual men should be wearing feminine scents.

Yes, to attract the butterflies.

Yes.

Interesting, interesting.

I don't wear.

When I wear cologne, I have this, I have a little travel size thing.

It's adorable.

That is

stroking it on your chunk.

Do you wear men's cologne fortune?

Yeah, it's the more masculine smell.

Yeah, Mont Blanc, I know.

I like that smell.

It smells good.

I don't wear anything.

Yeah, Tig, you're very sensitive to smells, famously.

Yes, famous.

I mean, that's what I'm most known known for is my sensitive sniffer.

You get a headache?

Yes, but I also just want to get out of a car if somebody has, especially a strong perfume.

Or if people are burning incense or something.

Yeah.

I'm not an incense gal.

Yeah.

You don't strike me as one.

No.

I don't like those old lady perfumes.

I don't mind them on an old lady.

That's true.

Like it fits.

Do you remember in the 90s?

I feel like every kind of vintage clothing store was burning nag champa, this incense, like

incense.

Yeah.

Record stores, too.

I don't know if I'm familiar with it.

I'm familiar with the record stores.

Yeah.

I know.

My brother used to light incense all the time.

And I was like, this is disgusting.

Was he trying to mask weed smell, do you think?

I don't know.

I think it was during the era of, you know, Nirvana.

Yeah.

was Nirvana incense no it was just like in that it was just in that world of like grunge and hippie yeah, you know that unplugged nirvana concert they did with like candles burning everywhere at MTV or something.

Yeah, I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't like that album, but go ahead.

Whoa

We have some talking to do

that I feel like that was very incensey.

Did you guys notice my sweater?

I so my new thing is I've decided I'm only gonna wear phantom of the opera merch from specifically ideally 1996 or 86 pantages theater in toronto so right before and right after the grunge era yeah exactly

sandwiching the grunge era yeah this is every day yeah this is like a new kind of fixation i found all these cool vintage t-shirts with phantom of the opera imagery and and then this sweater if you're on youtube is

i wore one in in feel good too and i i just really think if I can find some pants, some Phantom of the Opera pants, I'm good to go.

Maybe you could find some Phantom pants.

They definitely need your support, yeah, especially the 1986 production.

Yes,

now I don't get it.

Why?

Why do they need the support?

They went away,

they're gone.

Why?

We got to bring them back.

Well, it was 1986.

Oh, oh, okay.

I don't know if Phantom currently is on Broadway.

Isn't it sort of permanently on Broadway?

The Phantom of the opera is here.

Did you guys ever go

May, please?

Let her

start.

Everyone, silence.

Please.

She sings like a bird.

I was just seeing how low I could go with this current voice.

Yeah, it's pretty low.

Insane.

The Phantom of the Opera

is here.

Pretty good.

You know how the chandelier falls in it that that's um yeah like that's the big thing everyone's pumped about is like at the end of the first half it looks like the chandelier falls over the audience and everyone clutches their

pearls

i never seen broadway music i know we've talked on the pod about take having the opportunity to maybe be in chicago with pamela anderson did you say the opportunity

I love Broadway musicals so much.

I love Chicago and I love Greece, but there's a lot that I don't love.

I love so many, so many of them.

Really?

Yes, that'll come out again.

Oh, I do.

Yeah,

you're housekeeper.

I used to, when I went to New York, I used to go see multiple shows.

I don't do it as much anymore because Jax isn't, she does not like Broadway musicals.

Yeah.

Wait, did you say when you were in New York or when you lived there?

When I never lived there, but when I would visit, would you ever live there?

Like for a short, in short chunks, like for a project, but I don't want to live there.

Live there.

Yeah, you don't strike me as it's too crazy.

It's like too fast-paced.

Move it, buddy.

Yeah, that wasn't good.

Thank you.

That took me there.

Yeah, I feel the same.

I would have you guys lived there?

I couldn't.

I'm the same.

Which is crazy.

I just feel like it's too overwhelming.

I lived there

one time.

I was in Brooklyn.

I rented my friend's apartment for a couple of months, and I didn't realize at the time that I was doing that to

get away from a relationship I was in.

Really?

Why am I in another city

that you were currently in?

Yeah.

And I was just, like, I didn't know how to get out of the relationship.

And so it took me a while.

I think somebody pointed it out to me.

They were like feels

why'd you do that feels like you're running from something yeah and then that ended when i got back um and then i worked on a tv show did you see um shows while you were there did you see broadway shows No, I was just doing stand-up and then when I was working on a TV show, I was just working and you know, I love at the intermission when you get a little ice cream and you look at your program and you're so sad if there's an understudy.

Oh my God.

You're like, oh, for fuck's sake.

Poor understudies.

I know, right?

Did I talk about this?

In London, I went to see a play with Kate Blanchett in the lead.

And

my friend was in it and got me a ticket and it was incredible.

And then like to see Kate Blanchett on stage being so Kate Blanchett.

I mean, she was being a character, but

she's Blanchett.

And then I had a little ice cream at the Intermiche.

And it was, as the lights were going down again, I thought, I guess it's pretty good, this ice cream.

I don't know.

It's kind of weird.

It was coconut, vegan.

It was vegan ice cream.

So it tasted like vanilla.

And as you know, I'm allergic to coconut.

So as the lights are going down, I'm like, fuck.

And it's a really intense play.

There's no good moment to get up and shuffle out.

And I was not well in my stomach.

Oh my God.

So I couldn't go to the stage door and see my talented friend.

I had to run back to my hotel.

And what happens?

Do you have toilet time?

Yeah, it's not pretty.

I went and saw Sarah Paulson in her play on Broadway

last year.

I bet she's amazing.

Oh, she's incredible in everything she does.

But what was really wild was Woody Allen and

what's her name?

Sunier.

Sunier.

Were there?

What?

Yeah.

That is busy.

And what was even crazier was I was meeting, you know, the comedian Gary Goleman.

Yeah.

I was meeting him there to go see it, and he texted me that they were there.

And it was so crazy because the play references

incest and

molestation.

Yeah.

Why did they go?

I don't, I don't know.

Maybe because he's like, that's his passion.

Or he's just like firmly, I didn't do it.

So why would that bother me?

You know what I mean?

Or maybe he he didn't know it was in the story, maybe he didn't know that was part of the story.

I don't know, but it was already like, whoa, Woody Allen is here.

Did everyone turn and look at him?

I don't know.

I didn't see him.

And I'm assuming Gary wasn't lying to me because he's a pretty straightforward guy.

Yeah, and that would be a really toxic lie.

Really weird.

It would be a real curve fall with Gary.

But then we were like nudging each other as all those different references happen through the play.

We're like, oh my gosh.

Wow.

Yeah,

it was really.

It's weird when you see a celebrity watching a movie or a play.

Like, it's just weird to see them consuming.

Have you seen it before?

I know, I know the stream.

Actually, Helena Bottom Carter was at the Kate Blanchet play.

I saw her like.

wacky hair.

Oh, that's nice.

I saw before I knew Amanda Clutz.

yeah um she was at this taping that was just like

it was this huge celebration of paul simon right like stevie wonder was there and um

all sorts all sorts of people but amanda was there with and i'm forgetting his name but he's from

I'm forgetting the TV show.

Oh my God.

He did the New Jersey movie.

Pete Davidson.

No.

Pete Davidson.

There with Pete Davidson.

I don't know.

I can't remember.

Scrubs.

The guy from Scrubs.

Oh.

Oh, Zach Brath.

Zach Brath.

I think she's good buddies.

Yeah, they're good friends.

And they were sitting like a row in front of me off to the left.

And I was like, oh, there's that woman, Amanda Clutes, and then that guy from the Jersey movie.

But I was watching them just bounce around and go nuts.

Listening to the concert.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

And you are not bouncing around like them.

I am not a bouncer.

Yeah.

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first.

Like you know, to check that you learn your new game's rules before hosting a board game night.

You never want to be huddling around a phone to watch a 30-minute tutorial video just to learn how to play.

Checking first is smart, so check All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds.

You're in good hands with Allstate.

Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability.

All-State Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

Thrive Market isn't just convenient, it's a lifesaver.

Now that school's back, you'll be wanting to stock up on all your family's must-haves, from healthy snack packs to high-protein meals to non-toxic cleaning supplies.

For me, Thrive Market has made my morning routine a little less hectic, allowing me to get out the door with the healthy fun to eat foods that I love.

Thrive Market's groceries are high quality and no junk.

Over a thousand sketchy ingredients restricted and all trusted by parents so you can shop worry-free.

Looking to cut out artificial dyes, processed sugar, or seed oils, Thrive Market has a ton of on-site filters so you can easily filter to your family's preferences.

I subbed out some less healthy snacks for Mavuno Harvest Organic Dried Mango.

Thrive's organic veggie sticks, and for a treat, Scout Organic Soft Baked Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

Thrive has a healthy swap scanner that makes finding substitutions effortless and stress-free.

They've got easy high-protein meals, brain-boosting lunchbox staples, and low-sugar snack packs that are kit-approved as well.

So go to thrivemarket.com slash handsome to get 30% off your first order and a free $60 gift.

It's officially September.

Cooler temps are rolling in.

And as always, Quince is where I'm turning for fall staples that actually last.

From From cashmere to denim to boots, the quality holds up and the price truly blows me away.

Quince is where you're going to find 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters starting at just $60.

It's where you'll find premium denim at amazingly affordable prices.

Leather jackets, Quince has got them.

So give your wardrobe a refresh with some classic pieces this fall, all without the elevated price tag of other brands.

I just got the Mongolian Cashmere crew neck sweater from Quince.

A traditional retailer would sell this for $128, but Quince has it for $50.

That's right.

They've got fun fall colors too, like a rich burgundy, true navy, and moss.

It feels so luxurious, and it's perfect for layering with a button-up for a crisp autumnal look.

Keep it classic and cool this fall with long-lasting staples from Quince.

Go to quince.com slash handsome for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

That's q-u-i-n-ce-e dot com slash handsome.

Free shipping and 365-day returns.

Quince.com slash handsome.

And it made you want to be friends with her?

Well, you know, after everything that she went through in 2020, I was always very,

I followed her story very closely, and I was so intrigued by her and the process that she went through and just specific to her.

And then I just naturally met her.

Yeah, I followed that.

I followed her story too.

And then

met her through

you, I believe, just

knowing her and listening to the pod.

She's awesome.

Anyway, so I, but it was, I, when I saw her, it was nice to see her having a great night out.

I was like, oh, my gosh, there she is.

And she's enjoying herself.

And it was such a

nice...

feeling to see her happy and yeah and uh jamming out to paul simon that's the best when you're at a concert concert and you just like love the music and the singer and you just are in the zone, having the best time.

Yeah.

Have you ever gone by yourself to a concert and

danced?

I have gone to concerts by myself.

I went by myself.

I went and saw the Indigo Girls in Houston.

It's nice to be on your own.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But

I only went because none of my friends at the time knew who the Indigo Girls were.

Oh.

Blasphemous.

I know.

I saw the...

you didn't have one lesbian friend in Houston.

I didn't even know I was a lesbian friend.

Oh, gotcha.

I had just, I had seen them on,

what was that show on MTV?

120 Minutes.

That's also where I saw it.

I went to Third Eye Blind by myself, and I ended up hugging this stranger, and he was telling me his life story.

And then we had our arms around each other singing, I wish you would step out from that ledge, my friend.

It was nice

that was like the ultimate teen song oh yeah so good speaking of which my friend um

my one of my like best oldest friends from when i was 13 she

i always thought had deleted and taped over we had hours of like camcorder footage of us at 1314.

oh amazing yeah like jumping in fountains and malls and like being

really obnoxious.

Yeah, being friends.

And then

she found it and she just sent me some of the clips yesterday.

And I am insufferable.

I'm like always smoking a cigarette and thinking it's so cool.

And I keep,

yeah, like these videos are like 13 to 16, probably.

And so I'm dark in some of them.

And I'm really, I'm like talking about smoking the whole time, like being like, I love cigarettes.

It's so crazy.

But I have some good lines.

Like at one point I go, and I'm not trying to be funny.

I'm trying to be like poetic and dark.

Of course.

I'm filming myself in the dark smoking.

And I go, well, I'm from Toronto, born and raised.

I'm 13.

I got from Toronto, born and raised, which is what they say about cattle before they kill it.

That's what I said.

And I could tell I thought I stumbled on some real poetry.

And were you a vegetarian or anything?

No.

No.

Just thinking and feeling deeply.

Feeling deeply, yeah.

In the deep darkness.

And we're getting a visitor here on camera.

Oh, yes.

Here we go.

He's he's being squirrely because i think jax must be making breakfast he has his arm up around uh fortune's neck he's got a haircut it looks gorgeous

little teddy bear yes he heard me talking he said is that my friend

yes what are you looking good biggie and what does biggie have for breakfast just like he toast

marshmallow he has a sensitive stomach kibble

and we top it We have a little chicken-flavored topper that goes on it.

He has a sensitive stomach kibble.

Yeah, because he has a sensitive stomach.

I figured.

And then we put a probiotic in the morning in there.

Oh.

And then.

Look at his face while she's explaining all this.

That is the best.

Go on.

Just really look at his face.

Every couple weeks or so, we'll open a can of like sardines or mackerel.

And that is like the greatest thing of his life

look at his you gotta see him right now oh my god drop what you're doing and head on over to the yt oh my god

it's good yeah he has his haircut i i like the look yeah it's really good who does his hair is called a teddy bear cut Fluff has the teddy bear cut right now.

I call her a flooffy bear right now.

He must smell eggs because he's a sucker for eggs.

Oh, he likes eggs.

Yeah, if we make some, we'll sprinkle a a little on his food sometimes.

How does he like his eggs in the morning?

Okay.

What is

the song?

Wait, what are you talking about?

What against one?

What is it?

Come on.

I'm freaking out.

How do you like your eggs in the morning?

We heard you the first time, then what's the rest of the song?

Are you singing?

You're like, let's see.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Sing it one more time.

Sing it one more time.

Then maybe it'll sound familiar.

You guess what the next line is.

It's famous.

Thomas, I bet, knows this.

How do you

shake his head?

What is happening?

Sing it again, May.

How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Yep.

Okay, next line.

I like mine with a kiss.

Who sings this?

Are you kidding?

Nobody knows this.

If we were kidding.

I'm so fried.

As long as I get my kiss.

Are you?

I don't know this song.

Am I being pranked right now?

And I actually know a lot of songs.

I do too.

I thought this was like an old standard.

Who sings it?

I have no idea.

Well, now we've got a

Dean Martin.

Oh, truth be told, I don't know a lot of Dean Martin songs.

Yeah.

Thank you for being honest about that, Farch.

Welcome.

Yeah.

I didn't want to be dishonest.

But, May, if you could sing it one more time.

How do you like

your real rigs in the morning?

Again, my holescape.

fry to put in my mouth.

I'm hungry.

Well, that's, yeah.

So you do know it.

Classic crooner.

Wow.

That's crazy to me.

That to me is like not knowing New York, New York.

Really?

I don't think they're the same.

Really?

I thought it was like...

New York, New York's pretty famous.

I wonder if, I can't remember if it's a duet.

The Dean Martin one, like if the girl answers, I like my eggs really nice.

I like my eggs scrambled and I'm probably making them because it's the 50s and this is my job.

But it's also

a romantic song about somebody who's going to be spending the night.

Yes, that's true.

There was a lot of innuendos.

You didn't realize that, May, all those times you sang it?

No, I guess you're right.

I guess in my mind, he's singing it in the morning, but you're right.

It's hotter that he's singing it at night.

In advance,

he's saying to his mistress.

How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Yeah.

I like my eggs scrambled around.

Oh my God.

Wait.

I'm going to have sex with you tonight.

And tomorrow you're going to make me eggs.

Yeah.

Or tomorrow my wife will make you eggs.

What a time to be alive in the 50s.

I know.

Well, that was around the same time as

I really can't stay.

Or even now.

Maybe it's cold outside.

A similar vibe to that song.

Yeah, kind of creepy.

I really can't stay.

I have to make eggs in the morning.

It's so cold outside.

Did you ever use that excuse with someone?

It's too cold.

You shouldn't go.

You know

in LA.

Yeah.

It's so cold outside.

You probably should stay.

It's winter weather, bitch.

And you're just patting the other side of your bed.

Yeah.

It's too cold.

Dean Martin.

he was in a movie with Marilyn Monroe, and they hated each other.

I forget what it was called.

Anyway.

What a tidbit.

Just sorry.

The ghost of Marilyn Monroe just whispered in my ear, make sure you say the thing about how I hated him.

Oh, yeah.

Wasn't that on an episode where she beamed in?

An orb.

Yeah, she beamed in as an.

We said, yeah, that was, I don't know what we were saying.

I don't know, but she did beam in.

Yeah.

She's my number one.

Like my,

yeah, she's my number one.

Number one.

I said that so seriously.

Would you sing to her, How Would You Like Your Eggs in the Morning?

Yeah, and she'd be like, Happy birthday.

That's all she sings.

That's her response to everything.

Is she your type?

Like, would you date Marilyn Monroe?

She's like curvaceous.

She's like, twinkle in the eye.

As we discussed on the Bonnie Ver episode, I like a twinkle in the eye.

Yeah.

So that's my type.

Do you care about intelligence?

Bonnie Ver and Marilyn Monroe, two bees in a pod.

Yes.

No, I care about intelligence.

That's where the twinkle comes from partly.

Oh, okay.

Marilyn was very clever.

Was she?

Yeah.

Was she?

I think so.

I don't know.

She went back to

drama school before she died.

She was like going to be, I mean, she was, the movie she did before she died, The Misfits, she's incredible in that movie.

And you just see, fuck, she was.

Gonna be amazing.

And she was breaking out of the image that she'd created.

Happy birthday.

Yeah, and then that's

Marilyn.

Yes, in a room with us.

Happy birthday.

I'm closing my eyes.

Is this the ghost of Marilyn?

It's Marilyn's orb.

Happy birthday.

I'm closing my eyes, and it sounds kind of like Cartman from South Park.

Did you hear her?

Yeah.

Happy disciplines.

Should we?

Should we get our

question asker?

Yeah.

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

Today's question asker is an Australian actress, comedian, and producer

who achieved worldwide renown with her appearance in Bridesmaids.

Then she went on to star in films like Isn't It Romantic,

The Hustle, and Jojo Rabbit.

She stars in the upcoming action comedy film Bride Hard.

And you can't forget her from all the pitch-perfect movies.

Her real big, big breakout role.

Rebel Wilson is asking today's question.

Hi, Handoms.

It's Rebel Wilson here.

So, I mean, what can I ask you?

There's lots.

Like, if we were sitting down right now, I would just love to just, like, chat about so many things about the business.

But, Fortune instead, I'd like to ask one question.

So, I mean...

I mean, the political side of me wants to ask, like, what's your stance on guns in America?

But,

no, that's probably not a fun conversation.

Okay I'm gonna ask you something

very random.

Because you're all very successful,

what are you investing?

So what kind of like investments are you into

to like you know

build up your money that you've worked so hard to get?

I'm just I'm curious about that.

Oh, I'm glad she didn't ask about guns in America because I know we all have very different stances.

We could really

everyone should have them.

Just kidding.

Do you think that my Australian accent sounds like rebels?

You know what?

It wasn't far off.

No.

Today's question is.

And I don't know how it is that every episode we have an Australian.

Do you think our Australian listeners

are pissed?

Are you happy with us?

I mean, but how is it that every episode?

I don't know, Teke.

I don't know.

It's insane.

I think when you're able to do a very good Australian exit, that's what happens.

Oh, man.

I do wonder if we've upset people.

Do they enjoy it?

Hopefully they appreciate the effort.

And that's a slippery slope.

Once you start wondering if we've upset people, then we're like, oh, God, what about

Marilyn Monroe?

We're all upset.

We were upset about this, and I don't like that.

Yeah.

Apologies for all of the things you don't like or that upset you.

We'll change every single thing.

We're going to make every adjustment to make everybody upset.

We're not going to stop until every single listener is set up.

100%.

Yes.

Yes.

We're going to re-record.

Go ahead and go.

Everyone has to agree on everything that we say or do.

We all three, well, first of all, even if we're two against one, like it or not, we still agree with each other.

Yeah.

But

yeah, it's hard to make everybody happy.

But I certainly hope that people have a sense of humor about

Rise-Up Lights.

Yeah, you're light.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

And everything else, because all of it is for a good old time.

Silly times.

It's just silly times.

What do you think would happen if we went into chat GPT or one of those things and said, write an episode of The Handsome Podcast?

Oh, like, because they analyze

every episode and do it in our voice, I think.

Yeah.

And then will they record for us the next episode?

In an Australian episode,

then we'll read our lines.

Yeah.

We'll do an AI episode.

Oh, yeah.

Like, I'm curious what that is.

Oh, my gosh.

That would be insane.

Investments.

Yeah.

I, you know, what first came to mind

was,

I'm sure, whether it's been on this show or others, I've shared about

how my stepfather was not terribly supportive of me.

He didn't quite get me.

And then after my mother died, when we left her funeral, he said this thing,

which I thought was incredible.

He apologized for not being supportive.

And he said,

I realize now

that because he wanted me to go into business or something, you know,

he just did not get what I was doing.

And he said, you know, I'm realizing that it's not the child's responsibility to teach the parent who they are.

It's the parent's responsibility to learn who their child is.

And he said, and I didn't do that and I'm sorry.

And it was so touching that he came to that himself.

And then what was even more touching was years later, when I had my own children.

He and I were, my mother had died, and

he and I were driving somewhere when I was visiting him in Texas.

And he said,

Tig, I wanted to ask you something and see if you approved.

And I said, okay.

And he said,

I wanted to start college funds for Max and Finn.

And I said,

yeah.

And I said, oh, I said, yeah, I'm okay with that.

And he said, but I wanted to let you know that I looked into different types of college funds and I chose the one that they wouldn't have to use for a four-year college.

They could use it for that, but they could also use it if they wanted to become a mason or they wanted to go to art school.

Oh, nice.

And so he was.

That's so nice.

Yeah, he was acknowledging that not everybody is taking the path that he believes they should take.

Right.

And it was so touching to me.

That's really beautiful.

Yeah.

And so before he died, he started these college funds.

And so every year,

Stephanie and I

continue to contribute to that.

That's so nice.

Yeah.

That's really cool.

Yeah.

So

that's something.

That's beautiful.

Yeah.

When I was heavily involved with a woman and her small person, I had just opened a college fund for that small person

when I got dumbed.

So the college fund's going to me.

I'm sending myself to college.

Oh, really?

I don't know how that works.

So you can just like turn that shit.

I just closed it, yeah.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

I'd opened like a anyway.

Well, maybe cut that out.

I'll leave it in.

I'm Peter Sagal.

NPR is very serious, mostly.

It treats newsmakers with all due respect, almost all the time.

It brings you the most important information about the issues that really matter, usually.

And it never asks famous people about things they don't know anything about, except once in a while.

Join us for the great exception.

Listen to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the news quiz from NPR.

Yeah, my grandmother wanted to do things like that.

Like she would give us like bonds and stuff.

And you know, when you're a kid, you're like, what's this?

I can't,

I can't use this now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So

bummed me out and she would like give us like stamps that to collect and coins

stamp collecting used to be like a legitimate way to save money right like and i have the same birthday as princess diana so she would give me all this stuff congrats wow that makes a lot of sense that explains a lot

and um so i have all these random princess diana memorabilia my grandmother just always thought like oh this stuff you need to collect and one day it'll be be worth money.

I mean, maybe that would be now, but

do you still have it?

Probably some of it.

It's back at my mom's place.

And

who knows where it is there?

So she, like, believed in all that stuff.

But

with that being said,

she was pretty.

She was not great with money.

And as, and my, I would say my mom didn't pick up on being great with it either.

It was just a lot of my My family used to have money long, long time ago.

My grandfather was

a very well-to-do contractor and he built houses and buildings and schools all over North Carolina.

Very successful.

Died unexpectedly at like age 50 or something like that.

And my grandmother had to take over everything and

just didn't

just went shopping.

She just made it just made bad decisions.

Like they had a hardware business that she didn't like.

She should have filed bankruptcy and she tried to pay all the debt.

It was just like, she was, it came from a place of good-hearted helping people,

sending people to college.

And then by the time I got here,

there was no money.

Everything was gone.

Yeah.

So I grew up with people who knew what it was like to have money at one point and had no money.

That's so frustrating as a kid to have people constantly like, we used to have a lot of money.

And here is your bond and your stamp.

Happy birthday.

So it was very important to me as I got older that I did not make those same mistakes.

So I didn't know what to do.

I've had to learn as I've gone, but I am really proud.

That's probably one of the things I'm most proud of in my career is having gotten so much more knowledgeable about business

and money and how to save it and how to make money, make money.

And

I never thought being a comedian that that would be required of me as well.

And it's been tricky also learning it because I hate math.

But, you know, I just don't want to make the mistakes that were made prior

because it I saw how it can go away and you know you don't think it will and how could it?

And it can.

So I really try to be smart with,

you know, I have obviously I'm lucky to have a nice life.

Part of that's because I don't have kids.

Um, wait, I'm having a nice life over here.

No, but I can say I can spend a little bit more on lug, like, you know, trips and stuff,

you know, and

things that parents I find do a little little bit more sparingly

and just, yeah, try to invest in things.

But it is scary, though.

Like, I, the stock market is so

scary to me.

Do you have knowledge of that?

The stock market?

I do.

I will say that part of the business, I am, I

have to trust someone else with my money, and that is nerve-wracking to me.

Yeah, yeah, because for many years, I did not invest and I was like, I don't want to be one of those people that gets screwed over by a business person or an investment person.

I was so nervous.

I still get nervous.

Yeah.

But you're, so you're, you're in this.

I'm in this.

Yeah, I'm investing.

Like it doesn't, I, it doesn't make sense to me, and it scares me.

It feels so is very scary.

Yeah.

And then and then it could crash.

And I invest pretty conservatively, though.

Yeah, that's what people say to do.

Yeah.

And you invest, you don't invest, May.

No.

No, I'm too.

I'm, I'm, my, I guess my family also not great with money.

Like just, like, always rented.

My parents never bought a house till their 50s, I think.

And my grandma, actually, but that was a wake-up call.

Like when I moved to England, my grandma got sick.

The agent?

The agent, yeah.

And she was with the problem area.

I forgot it was your grandmother who had quite the problem area.

Yeah, that was from early days.

That was the first ever episode.

Was it?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, she...

Seeing her at the end of her life,

and she lived a great, wild, fun life.

And she never owned property and she made a lot of money as an agent but she she just lived a luxurious lifestyle and then near the end of her life that was scary because she

you know she's she got sick she had to go and you know into a home that was expensive like she was renting she had to move into a yeah like she just was panicked all the time about money and so i was like okay i don't want i don't want that uh but i haven't done anything about it but i love buying the house was a big deal that's quite an investment investment.

Yeah, that's a good investment.

I have a scarcity mentality, though, so I like to see my money in my account.

I got to get over that.

I got to.

Well, if you talk to any business person, they will say you shouldn't have just a book of like money just sitting there doing nothing.

That's like your basic business thing.

I have a saving, like a high-interest savings.

Yeah, if you, I was about to say, if you, if you don't want to go to a Star Market, I mean,

as far as investing in the things that go up and down, do like a a money market at the very least.

What's that?

Oh my God.

I'm picturing you as somebody managing my money and you're like, as far as the things that go up and down,

the technical, the money market is like a money market.

Yeah, yeah.

Your money's in there for like a certain amount of time

and you can't get it out and

it gets some interest over time.

It's not as high of a return as like in the stock market, but it's not volatile, like going up and down.

Yeah.

i mean some people are like day trading at home right like they're just sort of become

bless you oh my god biggie just sneezed blessings to

sorry biggie blessings

yeah can we please isolate that sound thomas and crank the volume and just play it back that was the cutest sound i've ever heard yeah pepper it through the whole episode yeah oh man from there on out i'm gonna text jax that he needs to i think he needs a tissue

He sneezes, and that means he has to.

Well, he's just being squirrely.

That usually.

Uh-huh.

But you got to text Jax that he won't go out by himself.

Well, I'm upstairs.

Oh, I see him.

Wow, I pictured you downstairs all of these years.

Did you really?

He can't open this door, and then he can't go down the stairs, but then he can't open the next door.

Wait, he can't go down the stairs by himself?

No, he can't.

Oh, I was like, okay, he can't open the door and go outside.

That he would wait to be carried up and down the stairs we do carry him up and down a lot i have stephanie carry me up and down the stairs do you really no oh i would love to see that

but uh yeah i for years i didn't do anything and like listen when my when i was coming up my parents did not have the luxury of investing a dime um every

every cent that came in went right back out and we were actually in a lot of debt.

My childhood was spent with creditors calling it

eight in the morning every day.

Nice and shine.

But

if you have a little something,

if you can try to have that money making interest.

Otherwise, it literally loses its value sitting there doing nothing.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Are you going to do anything about that, May?

Well,

you'll come around to it.

You came around to you know saving your money and getting a house.

Yeah, and I'm gonna ask about a money market or something like that.

Something that's like low, low, low, low, low, low risk.

You can't touch sometimes, some of them are like you can't touch it for a year.

And you'll get, but you'll make something off of it.

So it's not.

What kind of percentage are we talking?

I mean, it's not a high percentage, but it's but it's more.

Making money versus losing value.

Yeah.

When I was in England, someone convinced me to invest in like a retirement fund that I can't touch till I'm,

I don't know, 60, I guess.

I should know, but I don't know.

So I put some

almost my age.

Right.

I put some money in there, and now I'm so mad about it because it's just in some British retirement fund.

I can't hold it.

And I'm scared I'm going to forget about it.

Like, how do I know what?

You're not going to forget.

Really?

I will say, if you are going to invest more,

what's the word?

Not aggressively, but more

whatever that word is.

Your retirement is what usually is the thing that people invest more boldly because

the idea is you don't want to touch a retirement like a SEPIRA.

You know about an IRA, SEP IRA, things like that.

No.

Okay.

So when you make money, there's a chunk of it that you can put in an IRA or a SEP IRA, depends on how much money you've made in the year.

And that money isn't, you're not taxed on.

it goes into this account, but you can't touch it for like 20 years or something, okay?

But yeah, um, yeah, that's like what I did in England, yeah, yeah, and and you can invest that more aggressively because for 20 years the market is going to go up and down, right?

But you just, the whole point is you have to ride the wave, ride the wave,

see that I like but you want to you want to invest in these things, you want to put money into these things because you're not paying taxes on them, yeah.

Okay, we got to go for dinner.

I would like Fortune to be my business manager.

I mean, listen, there's so much I don't know.

And there could be a business person right now being like, that's right.

But to, you know, there could be parts of it I have a little off, but that's the idea.

To interpret the question more broadly, even I think investing in our health is the best thing we can do.

And that was another thing I learned.

You know, that I need to invest in.

Yeah.

Like with my grandma, too, I learned that lesson, too.

I was like, I mean, not that.

I mean, she was pretty healthy.

Well, you know what they say is you don't want to be the richest person in the graveyard hey i love that i mean but truly it's like yeah you want to invest in your in yourself and your your health and yeah your brain

all of it yeah well now that i got the sauna i'm gonna live forever i just it's it's heating up right now That's a good investment, right?

Because I'll take it to another.

If I ever move, I'll take it with me.

It's like a couple grand.

Did you have to have like a specific, like a plug or something or something put out there to run good question i had a guy install it yeah it's like it's electrical so they ran a line from that so what is what is the heat coming from you don't have like a pile of coals in there or anything it's like a radiator with some coals on it oh okay so you do yeah and it's uh it's cedar wood it smells like nice wood and it's like it gets hot so quick and um and it's on a timer so it won't stay on by accident And yeah, I think I'm going to go right.

It's heating up right now.

Nice.

So you're going to do, you haven't done one this morning because you were taking a, you were sleeping and then you took your little shower and then I took my little shower and then I'm going to, after this, get in the sauna, then cold shower.

Are you going to wear your Phantom of the Opera shirt?

What do you wear in the sauna?

Are you just full-blown naked?

Good question, too.

Thank you.

Thank you, Fortune.

I wear boxers usually or a bathing suit, but I could go in the nude.

I mean, it's my

in the nude.

I'm gonna go in the nude.

Do you wear a banana hammock?

Oh my god, I should wear a

ceiling

and

start wearing a cpeedo in there.

Should we hear Rebel's answer?

Yes, please.

I think I've been quite smart with my money coming up

as a comedian and actress in Australia and in America and I bought properties around the world and done quite well in selling them after a certain amount of time and then only more recently have I gotten into the stock market and listen to podcasts and I learn about stocks and just like basic stuff like the simple S ⁇ P 500 and I'm learning I'm still like a novice but Yeah, I hope everyone's being financially smart out there.

This might be the dumbest question ever, but

yeah.

No, I liked that.

I liked that question, and I feel like it took us in such a different direction.

Yeah.

But yeah, it sounds like she's kind of doing what you're doing, Fortune,

is trying to learn the money ropes.

Do you listen to podcasts?

Podcasts about it?

About it?

No, I mean, there's so much I don't know that I, but I don't also really want to.

I'm not trying to be like a businessman, you know, person.

I just know it's not something people talk to us about.

That's true.

That's true.

And it's not something that

is expected for us to know.

And I just think it's so important because even just the basic knowledge of it,

the minimum things that you can do to just help build money, even starting with, you know, when I moved to LA, I had $25 in my pocket.

So it's not like I'm coming from a place of like, oh, I just invested my family's, you know,

million dollars they gave me.

No, it's like I started from $25

here.

And, you know.

And you have how much now?

So much now.

But like my, my first house I bought, like May, like May, I bought a first house.

I did not buy it as an investment.

I bought it because I wanted my own home.

I wanted like a place to call mine.

It was this cute house, 1,600 square feet.

And I loved that house.

Loved it.

I lived there for over 10 years and ended up selling it and doing very well on it.

But that was never my intention.

But stuff like that, if you buy something that you love and put time

in it, and sometimes that can pay off too.

It's true.

Yes, May.

Well, I was going to say we should acknowledge

how hard it is for this younger generation, like that with the cost of living is going crazy.

And like our parents, you know, just yeah yeah

it's for sure gotten very difficult to buy a home

but you can buy a stamp and if you learned one thing from this podcast invest in princess diana stamps and princess diana coins yes i can't believe that you have a birthday with princess diana and now the stamps before we wrap up here the stamps that

Your grandmother got you of Princess Diana, are they the ones that you buy off of TV?

Probably.

Okay.

My grandmother, again, not the smartest with money, would.

Do you remember the publisher's clearinghouse

thing?

Yes.

She would buy all these cassette tapes because it would help you

get

your name in a raffle to try to win money.

And for that, she was always buying stuff like that.

I see.

Now you're just wasting money.

Actually, have you guys ever been into the lottery?

Do you buy lottery tickets?

I don't.

I will, like, once in a blue moon, but it does just feel like I'm burning money every time I do do it.

Right.

Right.

Burning $3.

How much are they?

Anywhere from $1 each to $20.

Oh, I see.

Depending on what you buy.

I've been with friends where they're like, let's buy lottery tickets.

I'm like, yeah, sure.

But it never crossed.

The catch-off ones are fun.

I don't like the, I don't like using a coin to scrape that.

weird metal stuff.

Like, ugh.

I hate that.

Like, I don't think I really realized it until this moment.

I hate that yeah gray

metallic stuff you screw

i actually didn't realize either until you said it now i'm like thank you for saying that absolutely i find thomas is nodding

fortune are you on board yeah i hate that gray stuff but i do like to win

The worst is people will give those as presents.

And you do hear those stories every now and then where they gave it as a present and won like $2 million.

One of the things won two million dollars.

And now the people are fighting over who gets it because they're like, we bought it.

They're like, but you gave it and it's a whole mess.

So I'm not sure.

There should be a rule about the other.

Yeah.

What is the legality of that?

Because I'm not going to be able to do it.

If you give it away, you

can give it away.

It's not yours anymore.

Right, right, right.

That is silly.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, that was fun and different and interesting.

Thank you to Rebel Wilson for that question.

Thank you, absolutely.

And everyone, if you can, be smart with your money and make the choices because it can go away, but also enjoy your life.

Yeah, you got to find the happy medium.

The happy medium is where it's at, for sure.

Yeah, for sure.

What do you guys got coming up?

Well, I'm on the road like a crazy person now.

I am in my new taking care biscuits tour, all new material.

So if you saw my last special, this is brand new.

This weekend, I'll be in, or tomorrow I'll be in Rockford, Illinois And Columbus, Ohio.

Rockford, Illinois is where Natasha Legero is from.

Oh, really?

I didn't know that.

Yeah, nice.

Yeah, I'm going to be at the Hard Rock

on Wednesday night.

Columbus, Ohio, Greensboro, North Carolina, Roanoke, Baltimore, Grand Rapids, Minneapolis, St.

Louis, Kansas City, and Vegas are coming up and tons more cities just got added.

Well, I also want to mention that the documentary that I produced, Come See Me in the Good Light, about Andrea Gibson and Meg Falley, two incredible poets.

It's going to be hitting the, and it has already started hitting the festival circuit.

And so really check that out because this movie is not to be missed.

It will be available further down the line this year on a streamer, but I'll announce that later.

But for sure, go see this in a theater if you can.

It is so powerful.

And as far as stand-up, I'm I'm going to be June 14th.

I'll be in Eureka Springs, Arkansas.

August 23rd, P-Town.

And then go to Tignotaro.com for my, all of my dates and local shows in Los Angeles at Largo and Dynasty Typewriter.

Come on out.

I am April 25th at Largo in LA.

And I think announcing some new music shows coming up.

So check out MayMartinMusic.com.

And there's cool, I've got a very cool merch on there as well.

And you can you can buy my vinyl album, which really helps

or listen to it on Spotify.

The album's called I'm a TV and That's it.

Great.

Can I ask real quick, how did you come up with I am a TV?

Well, my friend recently asked me, does it stand for I'm a transvestite?

And I was like, nope, but

who asked you that?

My friend.

I don't know.

I don't know.

It's a lyric in one of the songs.

And it's like, I guess in my head, it was about like how we all are so full of

other people's projections and static electricity and all the noise of our culture.

And

if you see anyway, whatever.

Titles are hard.

And that's why you wear your hat now with the tinfoil hat.

Yeah.

You're no fool.

You need to get a tinfoil Phantom of the Opera face, too.

There's a lot I got to get.

Yeah.

Phantom of the Opera.

Okay, Fortune, we have your headshot and resume.

We will be in touch.

Let me know if I get the part.

Okay.

Happy birthday to you.

I can also be Marilyn Monroe in the Phantom.

You're going to get May going.

Yeah.

Well, please share this episode or an episode that you like with your friends and loved ones and help us build the handsome community.

You guys are awesome.

Thank you for listening.

Oh, and thank you to everyone who came to our live shows.

Yes, off the charts.

Oh my god, incredible!

Off the charts, off the charts.

Such a cool thing to get to do.

Yes, hopefully, we'll have some more of those live shows coming up and some streamers.

And oh, and I believe that the link for the Austin show is still up right now.

You can still get it until this, it's available until this weekend.

So, if you missed our live show in Austin,

so fun, so funny.

Buy the link.

Talk about a good investment.

Yeah.

It lasts a week.

You can go to our Instagram page or our, and it'll have the link

to get that, and you'll have it through the weekend.

All right.

Soul that remains.

Keep it handsome.

Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feemster.

The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willette.

Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsome pod.

What a podcast!

What a podcast!

That was a hit gum podcast.

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking All State First.

Like you know to check and see if your local firefighters have an annual calendar available for purchase.

It never hurts to look at handsome firefighters when you're checking a date.

Checking first is smart, so check All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds.

You're in good hands with Allstate.

Savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability.

All State Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.