Pretty Little Episode #33

This is a head gum podcast.

Pretty little episode.

Welcome to another pretty little episode with your old pal, Mae Martin.

And your even older pal, Tignotaro.

Nice to be here.

Nice to be where I am, you know, just doing normal things as a normal person, living a normal life.

It sounds like you're hiding something when you say it like that.

It sounds like you're doing weird shit.

Listen, I pride myself on I'm not hiding anything.

Did I tell you about the time I was sitting in my old house on the couch?

Curtains were open.

Did I tell you this story?

No, no.

Oh, and the sun went down as I was working on my computer.

And I thought, I really need to get up and shut my curtains.

Yeah.

Because people were, you know, walking by my place.

And then I just thought,

I got nothing to hide.

Yeah.

This is all I'm doing.

Who cares?

I'm sitting on a couch returning emails.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't know.

I just, I don't think I'm hiding anything.

No, you, you, you, I've said before, maybe one of my favorite quotes is that happiness is when what you say, what you think, and what you do are in alignment.

And I feel like you do live that way.

Like, I try to.

Yeah, you try.

You try to.

And do you feel like you're far off from that?

Yes.

Well, I just am a bit of a people pleaser sometimes, I think.

Do you want to not be a people pleaser?

Well, I reject like

there's a new kind of self-care therapizing language that people use sometimes about like

being like

that that like

like that's very hard line like cut people out of your life just do it look after number one do you know practice like rigorous self-care that means like you're not emotionally accountable to anyone else everyone else is responsible for their feelings and i don't like that yeah so i don't want to go too far that way but i definitely do need to be a little um

a little more boundaried i feel that same way i mean i don't i don't feel harshly towards people i mean unless they're being totally weird and you know then i'm like, scram clown.

Did I tell you the scram clown story?

No, but oh, this rings a bell maybe that I said we need merch of scram clown, but I can't remember the story.

What is it?

When Chris Fairbanks and I lived together, we were having a yard sale and somebody walked up and was acting very weird at our little table with our

little pieces of garbage we were trying to sell.

And it really was becoming problematic.

And I just went, all right, scram clown.

And he was so flustered and he just shuffled off.

And I was, and Chris turned to me and was like, wow.

I have never heard that story.

Oh, you haven't?

We do need scram clown merch.

Okay.

Yeah.

It's just, it just hit me like a ton of bricks in that moment of like, I don't have to sit here and be and be patiently taking in his very uncomfortable, weird stuff.

And I thought, if I step it it up a notch and go beyond kind of my normal vibe, then maybe he'll leave.

And

I truly did it like, all right, that's it.

Scram, clown.

I like that a lot.

He was gone.

I did have a breakthrough once where I, because on your deathbed, you're not going to be like, oh, I'm so glad I patiently sat in all those conversations with people who didn't give a shit about.

And so one time I was on a date and I had been on a few first dates where the people hadn't asked me a single question about myself and I'd been like doing all the yeah so after like 45 minutes I was like do you want to know anything about me like would you like to ask a question yeah it felt good to say that but it did ruin the vibe completely

for both people

yeah I mean my vibe was already lost because I was already annoyed yeah I'm trying to think if I could bounce back if I if someone said that to you someone said that to me or if I said that to them it would probably depend on their reaction.

Yeah, yeah, if they can be self-deprecating about it, if they could, if they could really get

real and in check in the moment, and we could kind of,

you know, if they're like, I'm sorry, I was nervous, and I just kept talking about myself, and that probably open me up.

I think I didn't say it meanly, and you're right, that comes from nervousness.

Like, even now, I'm like, oh man, but they just probably were nervous.

Yeah.

But

we'll never know.

We'll never know.

we will never know do you think about either of those people still no yeah it's fine

is there anybody you still think about that you kind of almost oh innumerable i can't let things go i'm a nostalgic sentimental person i'm writing songs about people i'm like i cannot let things go i love people

But not just people you were involved with, but somebody.

Is there somebody that you just had one date with and you just don't know quite why it didn't work out and are you like

uh can't stop thinking about that person from 10 years ago no but i have sort of friends who are like i wrote i have a song on um

the album i put out called i love you so much and it's like about it's like about uh

you know those friends that you have in your life where you're like

You're 100% my friend.

I love hanging out with you.

And that's great.

But if

said the word, I would blow up my whole life to like, you know what I mean?

Wait, no.

Do you blow up your whole life to be with them?

Yeah, like just the friends who you're like, I am so happy being your friend.

I love your partner.

I love everything about you.

But like, if that person turned on the charm one night or was like, hey, I have feelings for you, you'd be fucked.

You'd be a goner.

Uh-huh.

Anyway, I played that in London and a lot of my friends were there.

And apparently, like, six people thought it was about them because I have these very like gray area friendships a lot, I guess.

And so, you

was that song written for all of those people, or was it one person?

One person, one person, and you still feel that way about that person.

Well, you don't know till it happens, really.

I like love them as a friend.

Have you ever written a song for someone?

I have,

not good ones.

I feel like I write music,

Or I did.

I used to.

I don't anymore.

Like melodies and instrumentals.

Yeah, instrumentals.

That's more of what I would do.

And I was,

I mean, every now and then I'd try and cram some words in there.

And it was like, this isn't a match.

I'm not a songwriter.

Why is like yearning

so creatively productive?

Like, there's that quote in the great Gatsby that's like, the object of his yearning could never live up to the yearning itself or something like that.

Like when you actually get there, you're like, um, anyway.

Yeah, yearning, that's, it's a really interesting.

I know that I, when I've been in that place,

I need,

I need space for my life and people.

And I need to just kind of stew.

Yeah.

And just like be in like a music spiral and think about my feelings about the person and

all of that kind of stuff.

Love it.

Yeah.

That's, that's what happens to me.

So satisfying to just like, if you give yourself that space to wallow a little bit and like get emo,

then I think you move through it faster.

Yeah, for sure.

And also, those are always the most relatable feelings in the world.

Like everyone has had that feeling.

Yes.

Well, should we see if we can relate to anyone's feelings in their questions?

Just so you know, this whole time I've been talking about you, that song I wrote is for me.

On to our question.

Hey, handsome pod.

It's me, KJ, your other handsome friend.

I just wanted to say thanks for all the laughs.

And May, thank you for your new album.

I've been waking up with it in my head, listening to it every day.

Nice.

And for that reason, I just want to know what CDs are you guys putting on repeat all the time?

CDs.

Oh my God.

I'm going to put a CD on.

Thanks for listening to the album.

That's so nice to think of someone waking up and putting putting it on.

Yeah.

What CD have you been putting on?

What have I been listening to?

I listened to the same kind of four people on repeat.

I listened to Half Moon Run.

This Canadian band.

They just put out a new single.

I listened to Elliott Smith, The Beatles.

And recently, getting back into Bob Dylan, because

I guess everyone, because of that movie coming out, in my teens, I felt like I had like a personal relationship to Bob Dylan.

And then I've really forgotten that.

And then I was listening to Hard Rain's Gonna Fall the other night and thinking, oh my god, the lyrics!

That is a good tune.

Have you heard Edie Brickell's version of it?

No, I'm writing that down now.

I mean, don't just write it down and not revisit that.

I have notebooks full of things I wrote down while you were talking.

I know, but it's so important for you to listen to Edie Brickell and New Bohemians.

Hard Rain's Gonna Fall.

Hard Rain's Gonna Fall.

I feel like

so wildly.

I'm not crazy about cover songs.

Yeah.

But my lord is that

perfection.

Oh, man.

Do you ever find

like music is so evocative that if you're genuinely feeling down, you can't go there?

Like, I've got to be in a good place to listen to sad songs because I want to feel something.

Yeah, yeah.

But if I'm already down, I can't listen to

sad songs.

I got to listen to like sort of 90s RB.

And so, where does Atlantis fit in your rotation?

Well, after I saw Alanis live recently, I listened to Jagged Little Pill every morning while I worked out.

And my personal trainer, he would put it on his little Bluetooth thing, and I would listen to the entire album.

And some of those songs are sad to work out to.

Yeah, I love her.

What about you?

I dated somebody years ago, I think when that album first came out, that played it on Repeat,

Repeat, Repeat.

yeah so um and then i think that it wasn't until

um what was her song thank you thank you india i love that song thank you frailty i love do you like that song i love that song i love it so much i think that's when alanis got my attention really yeah

because the the first that other album

I enjoyed it.

But you kind of had to rebel against the person you're dating who was obsessed as well.

Maybe, I don't know.

It just, I was just like, oh yeah, this is good.

And, um, but then,

yeah, when Thank You came out, I was like, I don't know how much more perfect this song can be.

Yeah, you're right.

Mix up there with

Edie Brickel's version of Hard Rain's Gonna Fall.

I can't wait to hear that.

Yeah, what are you listening to in your house?

Like, do your kids put stuff on?

Yeah, I would say I've never been like a, I think I've talked about how Max and Finn are very well Max is very into

pop punk like

yeah, like Blink 182.

Yes.

He's so into Blink 182, Green Day.

He's really into what is it?

What American Rejects?

What is that called?

Yeah, all American Rejax.

All American Rejects.

Good Charlotte?

Yeah, he's into all of that stuff.

The best thing about seeing those bands live now, like Good Charlotte's still touring, is they haven't changed the lyrics, so it's still like, that girl in class was mean to me, and my dad didn't pick me up.

My dad didn't pick me up.

I know, I always think when we're driving them to school, because we alternate between that and like Eminem.

Yeah.

Because Finn just,

I mean, is so into Eminem and Kendrick Lamar.

And so we alternate between those two.

But whenever the All-American Rejects song,

I Don't Want to Be Like You, you know that song?

I don't want to be like you.

I don't want to be just like you.

Yeah.

It feels like such a song that they wrote specifically for kids that are feeling rebellious about their parents.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so we're pulling up to the school to drop them off with the windows down.

And, you know, we have, you know, All-American Rejects blaring or or Eminem.

That's so good.

But I'm, I'm so enjoying being into

their music.

Yeah.

You know, it's such a great way to bond with them, too.

And also, it must be, it's funny how it's probably cathartic for them, those songs like that, even though they have, like, it doesn't relate to their experience at all, but just all kids have that, like,

like some subconscious push against authority, even if it's their teachers.

Like,

it must feel good to be like singing those tunes full volume.

Yeah, and it's fun to

be their two moms in the front seat rocking out.

So that's kind of it's it's a new thing for me to

be listening to music through somebody else's ears.

Yeah.

And it's not like my go-to.

Like, I was never into pop punk.

I was into the sex pistols.

Yeah, punk punk punk.

Yeah.

And when Stephanie, when we got together, you know,

her age lines up with Blink 182 and all of those Good Charlotte.

And I'd be like,

when she would refer to it as punk, I was like, this isn't punk.

It's not punk.

It's punk.

It is so melodic.

Punk is not melodic.

I mean, even though now the sex pistols actually sound melodic.

Yeah.

I think you would love Fontaine's DC, this Irish band that are so amazing now.

And they're quite hard.

Like they have a punk element, but also, but like the lead singer is just a poet.

They're amazing.

Fontaine's DC, I listen to a lot.

And Young Fathers, the Scottish rap group.

Maybe, should we make each other playlists?

Yeah, and send me any rap that you think Max and Finn might, or especially Finn, would like.

For sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And he doesn't like things bleeped out.

He likes the original

version.

And would you agree that Blink 182 and bands like that are punk pop?

Like, they're pop punk or whatever.

Yeah, like they're not punk for sure, and they're not pop.

Yeah, yeah, pop punk, yeah.

Yeah, okay, because Stephanie was like, no, this is punk, and I'm like, no, I know, come on, no, no, no,

no, anyway, so that's what I'm listening to: is Eminem and

Good Charlotte, and Blink 182, and Kendrick Lamar and

All-American Rejects.

But mainly I'm listening to true crime podcasts.

Let's be honest, I'm trying to wean myself off because I don't want those vibrations in my bod.

You don't want those to be in your body.

Just like them.

I got to be my own guy.

Oh, there's one, there's one pop-punk song that you've got to play for them that is so, it makes me laugh so much because it's so angsty this guy goes it goes tell my friends i'm dead tell my friends that i am dead it's insane

and this time it's for good who is it by i can't i don't know if i need to introduce that vibe to an eight-year-old right now yeah

yeah it's just so emo and i'm sorry what is the band oh newfound newfound glory newfound oh it's newfound glory yeah forget my name it's called yeah yeah we listen to Newfound Glory.

You do?

Oh, my gosh.

It won't be long till you forget my name.

That is what our little family vehicle is blaring out of the windows.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah, let's hear KJ's answer.

Yes.

For me, right now, it's Maze.

It's Dochi's Alligator Bites Never Heal.

Kendrick Lamar's GNX.

And then it'll randomly also be a John Prine album of some sort.

Oh,

got to.

Thanks.

Bye.

Nice, KJ.

I love that.

That's an eclectic mix.

I love the idea of one of my little mid-tempo songs being acted back by Ken Kendrick.

Oh, man, that's amazing.

Yeah.

I hope someone listens to my album on a road trip.

That's the dream, like.

really getting like cinematic in their minds.

I'm sure it's happened many times.

Should we get one more quick question?

Yes, let's do a quickie.

Hello, handsome pod.

My name is Erin, and I live in Florida.

And my question is, how many pillows do you sleep with?

And what is the size and firmness of those pillows?

I've asked this question to a lot of friends and family, and I'm always really surprised by the answer.

So I'd love to hear yours.

I want to predict each other's answer.

Okay.

I feel like maybe now you have an orthopedic pillow of some kind, but I feel like for a long time maybe you had like a thin, like as thin as a credit card.

You are completely right about the orthopedic pillow.

Okay.

Yes, for sure.

And then is that the end of your guess?

We'll see like a firm, a firm pillow.

Not too firm, but like a decent firmness.

It's a really nice orthopedic pillow.

Do you have a body pillow, like a long one?

I do.

It's not like one of those specifically, you know, snoodles or whatever those are called where it like wraps around your whole body and ends your marriage.

But I do have a long pillow that I'll, if I turn over on my side, I put between my knees or whatever.

Yeah.

But yeah, I have my orthopedic pillow and then just a long pillow.

in case in case I need to go over on my side.

And maybe like an extra irregular pillow floating around in case.

Those would be Stephanie's.

Okay, yeah.

But I will say, one of my biggest annoyances in life that I do not understand

at all is people that fill their bed with decorative pillows.

I completely agree.

What the hell?

What?

I don't understand.

You're going to throw them off the bed right away.

And do they look that good on the bed?

No.

No.

The people that put pillows like beyond even halfway down the bed, like just pillows, pillows, pillows.

Why?

I guess if you're hanging out fully clothed on top of your bed reading a book, maybe, but like

keep your bed your bed.

No.

Yeah, I agree.

It's a whole process of taking all the pillows off.

Where do they go?

Yeah.

Just on the floor?

Gross.

Yeah.

And then you just put them back up.

No.

What do you think my pillow situation is?

I think you have

three fluffy pillows.

Interesting.

Or no pillow.

Interesting.

I'm not a psychopath.

Can you imagine?

Prove it.

Prove it.

Okay, you're not going to believe this, but my pillow situation is I have an orthopedic pillow for my neck.

Okay.

And I have a long body pillow that I sometimes hug when I go on my side.

Exact same.

So it's really literally identical setup.

Wow.

So this would have been a perfect two against one because we know Fortune has to have some different pillow.

I bet you she's surrounded by fluffy cloud pillows.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, I'm, yeah, I love to spoon a body pillow.

Do you just have a regular long pillow?

You didn't buy a snoodle thing or whatever those are called?

No, not one of the ones that like wraps around.

But it is memory foam.

It's not regular, but it's just like a long cylinder.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, well, let's hear Aaron's answer.

Yeah.

My answer is I sleep with four pillows.

I have two two that are sort of under my head.

I prefer my head to actually be on a fairly small like scrunchie pillow that you can mold into different shapes.

And then I have one pillow on the side I'm facing so I can sort of like cuddle it to support my arm.

And then I have one between my legs to support you know my knees and hips and everything.

But I've talked to so many people who only sleep with one little pillow under their head and I don't I don't understand what's happening.

What are their arms doing?

Well the one under the arm and the one between the legs could be replaced by one long cylinder.

Yeah, you gotta be more economical here.

Absolutely.

You heard it here first.

You heard it here first, Erin.

Yeah.

Great question.

Yeah, both great questions.

These are always so fun.

Please send in more questions for us to pick from.

Is it speakpipe.com?

It is speechpipe.com slash handsome pod.

That's right.

And tune into our live stream show on April 12th.

Yes, April 12th.

You must tune in because there is going to be a

off-the-charts surprise for May and Fortune that night.

You do not want to miss this live stream.

Thomas is nodding with a smirk on his face.

Yes.

You're in on it, Thomas.

Yes, he is.

I love a surprise.

Oh, it is quite a surprise.

Fuck, I got to get planning.

I want to

something.

Yeah, well, it's not going to top what I have.

No, I'm so excited to be astounded.

And you and Fortune, you deserve every bit of what's coming to you.

That seems ominous.

Check out my Instagram for upcoming shows.

I'm at Largo April 25th in LA or MaymartinMusic.com for music stuff.

And I will be in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, June 14th.

And then I will also be in P-Town, August 23rd.

Go to tignotaro.com and you'll see all of my dates there, which also include Largo and Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles.

But yeah, until next time, I mean,

keep it pretty handsome.

Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feemster, Tignotaro, and Mae Martin.

The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woulette.

Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at HandsomePod.

What a podcast!

What a podcast!

What a podcast!

What a podcast!

That was a head gum podcast.