Jerry O'Connell asks about invitations

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Handsome, chime with friends on the handsome pod.

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Cheers!

Welcome to the handsome pod.

It's me, Mae Martin.

I'm joined by.

That was hell.

I'm so sorry.

Not a problem.

And it is I, your other co-host, Tignotaro.

I think I panicked because I was going to do it in a British accent because I'm in London.

And then I thought I'd want to slap myself.

How much longer are you in London?

Five more days.

Yeah.

Do you have a bunch of shows?

Or are you?

Done my shows.

I did my last music tour show, and then now I'm just like catching up with old friends and writing with my writing partner.

And yeah, it's nice.

Is your writing partner who you did your TV show with?

I did feel good with him.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

But do you notice anything different about me, guys?

The goatee.

Yes, I've grown a goatee.

Wait, no, I look good.

I got a haircut from Debbie.

Oh,

yes, yes, yes, of course.

The haircut from Debbie.

But I have a question about, do you have a gray gown hanging in the back?

Oh, yeah.

It looks like two gray gowns.

Yeah, I have two gray gowns for me and my old, my 80-year-old friend.

Tabitha.

Wait, what?

No, I'm just.

No, I'm just in a hotel room and they got two robes.

Oh, those are robes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, they look like gowns.

It looks like for twins or something.

Yeah.

Yeah, that would be interesting if you found out that I was dressing up in drag every night in gowns privately.

I thought you had lipstick on for a second.

I thought that's what the reveal was.

Okay, this is becoming a big controversy in my life.

Do you say that?

Because do you know what happened that I was on the date?

I was on the daily show and then I posted the clip.

Yeah, you were going really pink there too.

I know.

And everybody's going,

is that person wearing lipstick?

And is that a girl or a boy?

And because it was shared on the daily show page.

And then I, so I edit my comment under it and I go, guys, I don't know why my lips look so pink.

I guess I'm really healthy.

But guys, this is an exclusive.

I can share with you.

I've lost my mind because I did put on this like lip tint.

Yeah.

And then I didn't expect it to look, I just thought I would look healthy.

I didn't think it would look that pink.

And I don't know why I've now explicitly denied it.

So, wait, are you now revealing this on the podcast?

Yes, because

in the comments, now I don't know what to do.

Because you did put on lip tint and then it was like,

nothing to see here.

Yeah.

I think what you need to do, the only thing that's right, is to make a video apologizing to everybody and confessing that you did, in fact, put on some lipstick

before your appearance.

It's actually, it's a lip tint by benefit that usually, usually, you put it on and then it's like a stain and you wipe it off.

I had no idea it looked like bright pink.

And did you not like how it looked?

I hate how it looks in the video.

Oh, okay.

But also, everybody's like

so freaked out by it that it just confirms confirms why I'm so weird about it.

It reminds me of being in school of people being like, Mae's wearing makeup and me being like, no, guys, I'm not.

Well, that's it.

I can confirm that you do wear makeup.

More than any of us.

That's the only reason I asked because I had just seen that video and your lips still look a little pink.

And I was like, maybe Mae's

lipstick now.

So I thought you were like, what do you see?

It's because I was going on TV.

I thought, I want to look healthy.

I didn't.

And then the really crazy thing is that now people are in the comments, like a lot of handsome fans are defending me.

They're saying, if some makeup artist made me wear lipstick, how dare they?

And I'm like really touched by them being protective.

And now I can't double back and go, actually, guys, I did.

But you can.

This would be the greatest video of all time if

you did the, you know, straight to camera apology and then come clean and just confess.

But here's where I want to back up to.

Yeah.

Why were you so hell-bent on looking healthy?

What is going on with you that you're like, I just need to look healthy for this appearance?

I think I was really tired from touring, and I felt like I looked really pale, and I was just kind of panicking and trying to control something.

And I thought,

now I am not a makeup person myself.

What?

Right.

Hear me out.

Hear me out.

I am not.

Fortune, hear me out.

Hear me out.

It's crazy.

Okay.

It is crazy, but it's true.

And this is all natural beauty that you're looking at.

Fortune, it's natural beauty.

Okay.

So

I am saying so.

And

even though I am not a makeup person, I can tell you that if you felt like you were looking a little pale,

putting on some bright pink lipstick before you go on is only going to highlight the lips and the paleness even more.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Of course, like I didn't put on bronzer or anything.

I went with a lip taint.

Taint?

Lip?

Taint.

Not taint.

What are we talking about?

That lip taint.

Did you put lipstick on your taint?

Okay, clearly, I don't, you guys, I'm a boy.

I don't do this stuff.

I will tell you, in my special Good Fortune that it happened to me too.

Are you serious?

They put like a little bit of a

taint?

Well, I have, I do wear some lipstick in my specials.

You can see it in my last special, but it wasn't like, whoa.

But in Good Fortune, it was like, whoa, because they put a little bit of lip taint on me.

Was it May's lip taint that they put on you?

It was a similar color.

And then something with the, between that and the color chosen for, because you can, you know, do the different levels of color.

And in the color correction, it made it pop so crazy.

So when the clips came out, I was like, why are my lips so pink?

And it looks like I'm just full on.

And were you not happy with your lip taint?

It's just jarring when you don't do that in everyday life.

And then suddenly it's like, pow.

But like in

crushing it, I had some, but it was just like a little boop, and it was fine.

I swear, backstage, it didn't look like they were bright pink, and then something happened.

And it's just insane that when people were freaking out, I didn't go, hey, guys, look, I'm a pretty little lady, I can do what I want.

Yeah, I put some lip taint on, and instead,

instead, I like went hard on no, guys, I don't know why they look like that.

Okay, I need to.

Can we actually record the straight-to-video apology right right now and can we use this for um Maze

on social media?

Yeah, here we go.

Can you help me?

Like, can you set it up for me?

Like, I need help being brave, so I need you to be part of it.

I want to see you be brave.

Is that the lyrics?

Yeah.

I want to see you pink taint.

What you wanna do?

i want to hear you be ray which one is it

see you're here it must be see i wanna

i want

to paint

sarah borellis your friend

look we'll just we'll chop up what i've already said and we'll make a and i'll do it i'll do like a channel we want to straight to video right now thank you three with two one please hold fortune and meg you're on

The past couple of days have been really difficult for me and

I've thought a lot about what I want to say.

And I just want to say, particularly to the people that believed in me and

who trusted me, that

I specifically said online that I was not wearing any kind of lipstick.

In fact, I said, I don't know.

I used the words, I don't know why it looks like I'm wearing lipstick.

I need to tell you I was gaslighting you.

I did put on for the first time ever.

Pink taint.

You know what?

It wasn't even the first time ever.

There's been other times.

Yeah, I put on like a lip tint and then I thought it looked normal backstage.

I go out, I see the clips.

It looks like I'm wearing.

Anyway, I should have owned it.

I should have said, listen, I'm a they, them.

I could wear it.

Look, even if I was a giant truck driver, I could wear.

I could wear whatever.

Anyway, I lied.

And Tig wants me to apologize for the sake of the podcast.

Yes.

For the sake of your pink taint.

Thank you, May.

Thank you, May.

Can we get socials to cut that and just have that so May can put that on their social media, please?

Maybe we'll have to add some sad music behind it, too.

Okay.

Yeah.

What if this was all an advert for benefit lip tint?

For JLo's lip gloss.

Wait, so take,

would you never wear lipstick?

I have.

I just know when to stop.

No, I, of course, there's always that.

I've had that happen too, when I've,

you know, guest starred on a show or done late night, and then I'm like, oh, that shade

is not quite right.

Or like a gloss that really shines or something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just am very adamant these days where if anyone goes near my lips, I'm like, it has to be so natural.

Like, I don't want anything to look different than my, how my lips look.

And so I've kind of gotten that down

I mean, it's not helping my case that I have two gray gowns hanging in my hand.

Yeah, you've you've been caught

back

Back in the day I hosted the Glad Ords in New York and I had they put makeup on me and like right before I went out the makeup artist was like oh just one more thing and he put blush on both cheeks and just went boop boop and I did I was like oh okay thanks didn't look at it and just go out on stage and the video comes out later and I look like is it the marionette doll what is it with the

big

like circle red like a raggedy ann yeah it was I look insane and I was like no

but I bet you looked healthy right yeah I looked in I look like a crazy person that doesn't know how to put on makeup oh my god well this is the problem is like if you resist resist learning those skills when you're pubescent, the way I did, and maybe you guys did, then later in life, when you dip your toe in, you don't know what the hell you're doing.

I wore, I wear a little bit of um foundation, yeah, and me, like on a daily basis, uh-huh.

Yes,

I am wash and go.

You want to see my little makeup bag?

Yes, please.

You've got it right here,

yeah, Dumae.

Whoa,

I'm a pretty little lady.

Yeah,

I got got my,

this is my fountain, my liquid.

I use the same one.

But I use the water.

If there's ever a time to head over to YouTube, I've got my

beauty blender.

What is a beauty blender?

They look like a little thing.

It looks like a broken hole.

Biggie is like, did someone say, but

Biggie's now sniffing at the beauty blender.

Why do you want my beauty blender?

I've got my Burts Bees

pomegranate lip tint.

Girl, girl.

So it gives you a little,

but it's not too much.

It's not full taint.

See, that's not bad.

Fortune's not going full taint.

And then I have a little thing here to...

I don't know what this stuff's called, where you put it like you say.

Circles.

Circles under your eyes.

No, they're circles.

Oh, yeah.

These are closes.

colors.

You got your cream.

Yeah.

Us explaining makeup is kind of hilarious.

Yeah.

Wish to do makeup treatment.

And then my hand cream.

And then hand cream.

Thomas, can you put handsome makeup tutorials on the list, please?

Please, please, please.

But I think Tig should lead it, kind of.

I'm not doing any taint blending, though, for you guys.

He thinks it's all treats because he's like, what's this?

You don't use this much.

It is a treat.

Have you looked at your face?

And now you're putting on my lotion.

You gotta lotion.

Y'all know you have to lotion the back of your hands, right?

Of course, but do you know the most important rule about hydration?

What?

Hydrate from the inside.

Yes, you're so right.

You're so right.

I've been very dehydrated on tour.

I got to drink water.

Is it tour over?

Fortune, you look like a grandmother putting lotion on, looking down, going, is the tour over?

Like, very kind of distracted questioning.

Is the tour over?

That'd be a cute grandma.

Terrible mom.

Cute grandma.

So many people are like that.

So many people really come into their own as grandparents.

I feel like I became a parent at grandparent age, essentially.

So I feel like.

You're a good grandparent.

Yeah, I feel like I'm a good grandparent.

That's nice.

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So yeah,

your tour is fully over, May?

Yeah, I've done all the music shows.

Yeah.

And then

I got to head back to Toronto.

And it was a smashing success, right?

Dude, it was so fun.

I was doing guitar solos and it felt like a fantasy.

And I have to say, like, I didn't realize how much I'd lost my mojo or like that I'd been kind of down for six months until the tour.

And I feel like a cloud's lifted off me.

I feel really good.

That's incredible.

Yeah.

Did you get any Ponty's thrown at you?

No, but I did get people yelling out Ponty's and I got people yelling out, a lot of people yelling out little cowboy.

But then sometimes I'm on stage and I'm having a great time and then someone will yell out, you got this.

And I'm like, I know.

Or I think I look really vulnerable and scared.

And people are like, you can do it.

And they're like, little cowboy, you got this.

I'm like, oh, it's really nice.

But I'm like, am I giving off total failure?

Yeah, maybe it's a nervous energy sometimes.

Yeah, I I think you're right about that.

What about you guys?

So, so I'm on UK time.

It's early morning.

I'm drinking my coffee right now because y'all know how much I love coffee.

Pinkies up.

Pinkies up.

And are you a don't talk to me till I've had my coffee?

I can't remember.

Girl, don't talk to me till I've had my coffee.

No.

You are?

No?

Okay.

No.

I love it, though.

I drink it every morning, but I'm not like a huge morning person in general, but I'm not unpleasant,

right?

As you can tell, you're being absolutely heavenly right now, yeah.

You know, the pinky up thing, yeah, uh, one time in England, I saw them what I thought is the most British thing is someone on the subway, like on the tube, holding the pole in the subway, but with their pinky out for real.

Oh,

look at that!

Oh, how

British, dainty,

how dainty and British

sound does it make you miss living there when you visit, or are you like, oh, I'm glad to be in LA?

I miss the people, and a bunch of them came to the show, and I haven't seen them in like three years.

And I spent 12 years here, like my whole 20s.

So I miss the people, and there were like two really sunny days, and I was like, God, this city's the best.

And then now the gray has descended and it's raining again.

And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is the problem.

Yeah.

So that really is a thing.

It's like gloomy gloomy there a lot.

Oh, big time.

Except when you're in Debbie's hairdresser, because she is a ray of sunshine.

And she says, hi.

She sends her love.

Hello, Debbie.

Can we hear a little Debbie's voice?

Oh, what did she?

Well, she came to my show.

She came.

She said,

she said, well, I went to Tig's show.

Oh, it was so funny.

I couldn't believe it.

And she said, and then she came to my show and she didn't charge me for the haircut, which I was like, please let me pay you.

She goes, oh, no, don't be silly, man.

She was so nice.

I know.

She wouldn't let me pay for mine either.

And then she threw in, like, some hair product.

And I was like,

this is insane.

And she was like, oh, but you got me tickets to your show.

And I was I was like, that I'll have none of it.

But she wouldn't take my money.

What if I get my hair cut from her and all she knows how to do is cut hair like you guys?

Right.

And so I end up looking having y'all's haircut.

Well, wouldn't that be lucky of you?

Yeah, would that be the worst thing?

You made it without my curls?

Can you give me a little credit that I reminded you to go get your haircut from Debbie?

Yeah, 100%.

I would have forgotten.

And Fortune, would you ever go short, short?

No.

Would you ever go long, long?

No, because it weighs my curls down.

I went short, short when I lived in Spain.

I didn't know the difference between trim and cut in Spanish.

So I asked for a haircut and he chopped it all off

where it was like crazy short.

And I came home to, I was living with this little old lady for the first two months I was in Spain.

Hello.

Have I told you guys this?

No, but it sounds hot.

She had a wig on when I met her and she got comfortable with me and one night came home.

I came home and the wig was off and she was bald and she had one sprig of hair.

one sprig of hair, like Cindy Luhu, yeah, one sprig of hair.

And how old, like my age, or what?

No,

like 80, like 80.

Oh, my God, that's amazing.

And

she said, stress, and

she, poor thing, had lost her hair from stress.

And I just wanted to be like, girl, let it go.

So I got my hair chopped off, and I came home, like, looking for her to be like, I get it.

And she

said to me, Que rado.

And it means how weird in Spanish.

Oh my god.

While she's sitting there with one sprig.

I was like, are you kidding me right now?

How weird.

Oh, my God.

That's incredible.

That's really cool.

And can you post a picture of the short hair?

I will have to look in my scrapbook,

I do.

I don't want to miss socials.

I don't remember if I took a picture because I was so embarrassed when it first happened.

I might not have taken a picture right away.

Oh, man.

It was still the circle curl, but like right to my head.

Oh, I would love to see a picture.

Did you all circle curl, huh?

Did you almost circle curl?

Did you cry?

Like, you know, when you see it happening and you kind of, you're just frozen, paralyzed?

Yeah, because you kept going, and I didn't know how to be like, ah.

yeah,

it's the worst when you're watching in real time

yourself getting the wrong haircut.

Oh, God.

And then if you speak up, you seem high maintenance and all of that.

It's the worst.

It's the worst.

I mean, I've had that with tattoos where I should have spoken up in the moment, but I'm like, oh, for sure.

The one that says oatmeal?

No, that one,

weirdly, I was really into it.

That one may has turned into oat milk.

It's all the rage now.

Unsweetened oat milk is what it now says.

Yeah.

They were doing the tattoo you hadn't approved, or it was just way

not what you wanted.

There was this sketchy guy I used to go to when I was like 16, and he would always say, I want this.

And I'd have like a picture or a stencil, or he'd go, I'm going to freehand it.

I'm just going to,

I know how I'm going to do it.

And then he would do like his own freehand handwriting on my body.

And I could see it going, but you're halfway through, you can't then switch to a stencil.

Yeah, wow, yeah, see, that's why I just went with the one tattoo that I have.

What is it?

You have a dot, is that right?

That's right, yes, okay.

I listen, I remember.

I do not remember this.

My brother threw a ballpoint pen at me when I was in sixth grade, and it stuck in my knee.

And I pulled it out, and I have a dot.

So I always say, if I go missing and they ask if I have any tattoos,

I had a dot.

I have a scar right here from my brother's fingernail.

He's just like, we gotta fight.

And

his thumb like dug into my forehead.

This is your brother?

Uh-huh.

Brothers are the worst.

Yeah.

Brothers are terrible.

We all had brothers.

Well, speaking of brothers, I actually just

flew to see my brother on the East Coast for two days

because my niece was turning one and my sister-in-law asked if I would come surprise my brother.

And so I did, but I also got caught in all the weather and then my flight got diverted and I ended up having to, it just was a whole situation.

And

she was, his wife was totally keeping this under wraps.

And I arrived.

And normally he's sitting on the couch watching the news at this time that I arrived.

But

she said that her friend was coming in town and that he had to pick her up from the airport.

And then it didn't happen.

And then, so,

okay, well, that we just lost May.

Had a little technical glitch in the middle

of my surprise story.

Sorry.

No, welcome back.

Okay.

Maybe disappeared.

So, long story short, I am sitting on the couch, and it's the time when my brother is typically watching the news or a game or something.

And he decides out of nowhere, he's like, I'm going to go take a shower and do some laundry.

My sister-in-law is like, What?

No,

my goodness, God,

why now?

And so, yeah, so he goes up and he showers.

And then,

and I arrive, and then I go sit on the couch, and she's like, I'm going to go get him.

And she interrupts his shower.

He's mid, he's shaving, he's mid-shave shave in the shower longest shower of his life and he's like and she's like my friend's here and he's like okay and he's like and she goes come down and say hi and he's like what he was he's like this person oh my god um and oh also before he got in the shower she his wife was like all stressed because she was like well what if my friend shows up and you're in the shower and he said later he was like and i'm thinking this girl can't this woman can't just open a door and walk into our house.

What the hell is wrong with her?

And so he's mid-shower, mid-shave.

And my sister-in-law is like, you have to come down.

She just got here.

He's like, oh my God.

So he dries off.

He walks down the stairs.

And then he looks over and it's me sitting on his couch.

And he was just like,

oh,

like he just head down, like stunned, could not even move.

He couldn't believe it.

Yeah.

And

I have to say, my brother was just like a guy with a dog driving a Jeep, listening to the Rolling Stones and talking sports.

And then he meets, you know, in a one-bedroom apartment, meets his wife.

I've never seen him happier.

She has the dog of his dreams and they have their little family.

And then he has his son.

So happy.

And then his daughter comes along.

You guys,

I have never seen this side of my brother.

Like a girl dad, like melted.

Oh, my.

He is like,

so I overhear him talking to this woman that was helping organize the party.

And he's like,

and you know, it's the pink, it's the pink dress with the little flowers on.

And I was like, what am I?

And he's like, what?

He was like, pink is her color.

And like, it just really brings out her eyes and her hair and her lips.

I was teasing him.

I was like, I feel like you have a little dolly.

Like, he's so, and he's a stay-at-home dad, and he does like the bottles and the diapers.

And I asked him, I said, how do you feel about how life has turned out?

And he's just like,

it's a gift.

I just, I wouldn't change a thing.

It's a gift.

That's amazing.

Yeah.

That's so nice that you went.

Like, he'll always remember that.

Yeah.

It just, it was such a great visit.

and when he dropped me off of the airport i was like this is truly the happiest i have ever seen you in my life and it's just like

you know not that i doubted that he'd be into his daughter but it is a side of him that i have truly where he I

you know, the whole weekend was me teasing him like, well, put that dress on your Pinterest board.

And,

you know, but, and then I turned to him at one point and I said, out of nowhere, I go,

you know what, I actually don't think pink's her color.

And I mean, he, he got whiplash.

He turned his head so fast with the dirtiest look on his face.

I was like, easy, I'm kidding.

What did you say?

Yeah, what did you say about my dolly?

Something like melts my heart.

There's something about seeing a dad.

do like a ponytail or a braid on on their daughter.

It's a very sweet thing.

Well, even, yeah, even at one point, he he was like, man, he was like pulling her little curls in the back of her hair.

And he goes, man,

I can't wait till she has long hair.

And I was like, oh, you want long hair on your little dolly?

It just was really incredible.

It was really incredible.

It's always nice to see siblings content, you know, just

their best.

Yeah, for sure.

When you see anyone happy, you're just like, awesome.

Now I can go live my life and not worry about you.

And everyone's version of what happy is is different.

And whatever is happy for them is so cool to see.

For sure.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that.

It was a really fun time.

And

should we move on to our question?

Yeah.

All right.

Well, today's guest is an actor and TV host known for his roles in the TV shows billions and sliders and films like Stand By Me to Jerry Maguire to Kangaroo Jack.

Jerry O'Connell is asking today's question.

Hi, Tig.

Hi, Fortune.

Hi, May.

Jerry O'Connell here.

I'm an actor.

I'm a host.

I've been in things.

You can look it up.

Okay, here's my question.

You get invited to something,

an event, an opening.

You know,

people have books, you know, people have movies, premieres, specials.

You don't want to go.

You just don't want to go.

You got to get dressed up, you know.

In my case, hair, makeup, a lot of it.

Sometimes you got to pay for it out of pocket.

There's a red carpet, there's interviews,

press junkets, electric press junkets, Zoom press junkets.

You don't want to go.

Do you immediately say, I can't make it?

Thank you for the invite.

Do you wait a little bit and say, I checked my calendars.

I can't make it.

Do you just go?

Or do you just completely ignore it?

Completely ignore it.

And then when you see them, be like, oh,

I didn't, I don't, I don't, what?

How?

How was it?

Hey.

I know I'm a fan of a lot of people, but I am a true Jerry O'Connell fan because I am a stand-by-me obsessive.

I know every line of that movie, and his performance as Vern is comedy genius.

He's like, Oh, guys, I forget the secret knock.

And then they go, Seven cents, Vern.

I brought the comb.

What do you need a comb for?

You don't even have any hair.

I brought it for you guys.

He's so good.

Look at that.

I'm Peter Sagal.

NPR is very serious, mostly.

It treats newsmakers with all due respect, almost all the time.

It brings you the most important information about the issues that really matter, usually.

And it never asks famous people about things they don't know anything about, except once in a while.

Join us for the great exception.

Listen to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the news quiz from NPR.

He's in one of my other favorite movies, Scream 2.

I love Scream 1, 2, and 3 very much.

And he has a sequence where he stands on a table and sings, I love you, baby.

And it feels quite all right.

He's just, what a gentle, what a gentleman.

Yeah, yeah, he's a silly guy.

Funny, we were just talking about girl dads, and he's a proud girl dad, right?

He's got daughters.

And not only was he talking, not only is he that,

he was also talking about getting hair and makeup done.

And it reminded me of your pink taint.

Yeah.

That's probably why you say no to some events,

don't want to put on that lip taint.

Yeah, so that's what it is: lip taint.

Pink taint is pretty good.

I'm never going to put it on again.

Trust me.

Now that I know what it looks like on camera.

You got to get this Burt's Bees.

Yeah, I got to get the pomegranate Burt's Bees.

But isn't that what blew up your lips on your special?

That was makeup.

Oh, okay.

My Burt's Bees pomegranate is what I use in life.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

I need to use it more because my lips are dry.

Yes, May.

Hydrate from the inside.

Hydrate from the inside.

AKA douche.

May Marie.

Sorry.

But Tig, I imagine that if you get an invite you don't want, you just say right away, there's no way in hell I'm going.

Like I, you're a direct.

That's what I thought, too.

Like Tig's just like, I'm not going.

Well, but I'm not like rude about it.

I think I just feel like, you know, people get, I think, get too

involved in their

excuses to get out of things when it's really okay to say, I'm, I'm just not going to be able to make it.

Like, that's all you have to say.

And it doesn't have to be you're, and even if the reason is you are not able to make it is because you don't want to go, or it's because you're sick, or anything like that, that's a perfectly fine answer to say, you know, I, I, I don't want to, or I'm not going to be able to go.

I don't know.

I just, I'm not really into

big Hollywood parties and events, unless a friend of mine is doing something and I want to be there to support them.

Or if I'm like nominated for something or I'm hosting something, then I go to something.

But I just, it's not really,

I don't, I just don't really feel bad about it.

Right.

But, but if it's like somebody's, I don't know.

I guess if it's somebody's birthday or, or, or their book is coming out or, or something I, I care about supporting,

I feel like it is with certain friends and certain situations, it is more important to

show up and support the friend, even if I don't feel like going out that night.

You know, I feel like that overrides it for me.

But if it's just a random random invite, I just don't have any problem

saying I'm not going to be able to make it.

Thanks for the invite.

My problem is, I want to go to everything.

I'm excited.

I'm excited by the invitation.

In the moment, I have every intention of going.

I'm pumped.

And then something happens.

And then I'm like, can I, if I'm being honest, it's usually something like, my skin feels weird on my body and like I feel like I, you know,

Sad or something, you know, and and I can't just I feel like I can't just say that or or if something legit comes up or I've over promised like four people at the same time or like but that's like a real lifelong goal for me is sort that shit out because yeah, don't over promise.

I do feel like you yeah, you probably say yes to things

to multiple people

knowing that you can't make it to all of those things.

And thinking like, oh, I'll have to pick one of those things.

Closer to time.

Closer to time.

Closer I am to time.

Closer I am to time.

I think Indigo Girls.

I was making an Indigo Girls joke, May.

Oh, yeah, I like that very much.

I think it's subconsciously that that happens.

I don't think it's conscious.

But I'm getting, I gotta get, I'm gonna get better.

Are you good at, are you good at it, Fortune?

Yeah, I'm really good at managing my schedule in general.

I don't have an assistant or anything.

So that's amazing.

I know

that's a good thing to always

keep a pretty

specific calendar.

Yeah.

So I'm always kind of know what's coming.

I look at it every day.

So I'm pretty, I'm really good with time management because I do a lot of different things every day.

And if I say yes, I'm totally going.

Unless

a gig comes up and I'm out of town like

and those sometimes happen last minute, but it's not me

just like not feeling like going all of a sudden.

Normally if I if I commit, I'm pretty I'm pretty much going.

Do you like like the glitzy Hollywoody things?

Yeah, I don't mind them.

I like a slider and a lot of those parties have sliders.

So

that gets you out of the house.

I'll get out of the house for a slider even if i have to wear a suit and you like an electric slide you're like you're i feel like you're more fun at a party than me like you dance you're like yeah i'll get into it

yeah yeah i'll get into it so i don't mind one of those glitzy parties um

yeah i i those are fun and different and i like to meet different people and some of those parties have people i admire that i don't get to meet in other places.

But yeah, usually I get an old-fashioned and a slider and this gal's happy.

But if I can't, if I can't go to something, and that does happen too, where suddenly I did like, I accidentally overbooked that.

Of course, that happens.

I will overexplain, but I'm an overexplainer in everything.

Well, tell us about it.

I just, I don't know why.

I

because some people say if you overexplain, you're lying.

And I'm like, that's not true for me.

I always overexplain.

I feel self-conscious.

Like, it seems like I'm lying if I'm overexplaining too, but awesome.

Yeah.

I just like, for whatever reason, I'm like, I need this person to know all the things that happen leading up to me not being able to go.

And they're like,

they don't need that information or want it.

It's not really relevant, but I'm just, I just do it and my thing ends up being like a paragraph.

Yeah.

When I could just be like, so sorry, wanted to go, but now I have to go out of town.

You know, but it's like, I was going to go.

I really wanted to go.

Um, it was on my calendar, but this thing came up last minute.

I just got this, this just got booked two days ago, and now I really got to do this thing because honestly, I don't even want to do it, but I want to do it with my mom, and so I'm going to be going.

Do you ever preface it with, I know it comes across as being dishonest when you overexplain, but I have a tendency to overexplain, so here it comes.

I don't go that way.

See, that's what I would do.

I'd overexplain the overexplaining.

Yeah, even a therapist was like, recently was like, you overexplained.

You don't need to do that.

And I was like, you're right.

So, yeah, I don't know where that comes from or why.

But that is definitely part of my process.

I also overestimate my energy.

Like, I'll be like, yeah, I mean, I get out of the edit at six and then I'll, you know, I'll get in a car and at 6.30, I'll go to that thing.

And then at the end of the day, I'm like,

but probably if I pushed through that fatigue and once I got there, I'd have a good time.

But I know sometimes it is hard just to, if you're like having a like

chill time on your couch, yeah, it is very hard to pull yourself out of that and

uh put on actual pants and not sweatpants and go somewhere.

But I usually do suck it up.

Sometimes your Wi-Fi goes out until 10 p.m.

That's hard to have a Canada Day party.

Yeah,

Oh my God, I forgot about Canada Day parties.

Yeah.

And I think also

we have so many friends and people like our social lives are so much bigger than they would have been in the olden days.

You'd have like the butcher, the baker, the butcher, and the, you know, the local people in the village.

Yeah, there weren't a lot of villagers to hang out with.

Exactly.

And now we know so many people and they're all doing cool stuff.

And it's, yeah.

And there was no electricity.

You had to do things by candlelight.

So you could only last for as long as you had candles.

Yes.

I like what I'm hearing.

Yes.

Tig in her bonnet.

Oh, my candle went out.

By candlelight.

My candle's out.

Got to go home.

Oh, God.

That's

nice.

I would imagine having kids, it's even harder to want to leave the house willy-nilly.

And you have a good excuse not to at any time.

You can be like.

Well, typically, but we don't.

Here's the thing: is it goes both ways in that we're very, very lucky because Stephanie's father is our child care.

That is really nice.

And

he is at our beck and call.

We do not have a,

they have never had a babysitter.

Yeah.

They've never had a babysitter.

They don't, there's no stranger that's come in the house, you know, to watch them.

The problem is, if he's not doing well,

then we're not going anywhere.

So we can have all the plans in the world.

And then if he throws his back out or his leg is hurting or something, you know.

Call me next time.

You're like, just sit in the recliner.

Yeah.

We don't have a recliner.

Why not?

If we don't have a recliner,

we should probably get one.

You should.

The kind that you don't, that go up with you, you don't have to go out.

No, that like launch you out.

Yeah, yeah.

And they also have like two drink holders on each side.

Yeah.

So you don't have to get up for hours.

Please get one of those.

Meg, you would babysit?

I would love to anytime.

Like I would talk about statistics with them and

they could show me their Pokemon cards, whatever.

I would do you play chess?

Yes, I play chess.

I'm connected.

Yeah.

Yeah, they're in the chess group at school.

And then they also are very into magic right right now.

And it's really funny because

they are constantly doing magic tricks that work 50% of the time.

And they get, Finn actually will get very frustrated.

He's like, this just worked.

And I'm like, well, it's magic half of the time.

And, but, yeah.

Oh, my gosh.

Do you pretend that you don't know how it works?

I don't know how it works.

There's no need to do it.

Do you pretend?

No.

I don't have a clue.

I just take it for face value and I'm like, wow, yeah, that is my card.

Wow.

Yeah.

So

I'm perfect for them.

Have you taken them to the magic castle?

No, but we're about to go because they are truly,

truly obsessed with, I mean, they both walk around with

them.

You got to be careful because I went one time and I was, I'd had a few drinks and you're walking around and there's magicians like stationed stationed around and I this guy showed me a trick and then I said

can I show you a trick which is the most annoying thing to ask him and he really calmly goes oh if you want to be removed by security then yeah go ahead

oh my god is that for real you just no one I thought I thought people could just oh maybe only members can do magic only he's members of the magic circle which I'm not whoa if you if you want to be removed try your magic trick in here and see what happens

I I know,

I was humiliated.

Friend of the pod, Neil Patrick Harris, is a big Magic Castle guy.

Oh, really?

And does he do magic himself, too?

Yeah, he does magic and is a member there and has been for years.

And is, I think, pretty.

He lives in New York now, but when he was in LA, I think was pretty heavily involved there.

Can we put it on the list?

Magic Castle?

Got to.

I really want to go.

I mean, you guys are going anyway with the family, but I would like to go.

Can May and I go with you guys?

Yeah, yeah, we can bring you uh to the magic castle with us, but there's a strict dress code, right?

Like, if you're gonna dress handsome, yeah, like they made me wear a blazer that they had in the back,

like yeah, they have to wear a suit for guys, dresses for ladies, or if you're a lady, you can wear a suit as well.

Well, luckily, our little cubs really enjoy getting dressed up, it's a real fun twist because I remember when my brother and I were little, it was, we fought it

getting dressed up.

Max and Finn,

they're good.

I liked getting dressed up in a suit when I was little, but luckily now I have my pink taint.

So I'm still going to be

dressed to the nine.

Well, with that, should we hear what Jerry's answer was?

Yes, we should.

Off of your pink taint.

Well, let me tell you what I do when I get an invite that I don't want to go to.

I know I'm supposed to immediately just say, I can't make it.

Thank you so much for the invite.

Like, just rip the band-aid off fast, just get it out there.

Can't make it.

Thank you so much for the invite.

Best of luck with everything.

I can't wait to see you.

I know that's what you're supposed to do, but I

just completely delete the message.

I act like I never got it.

I just delete it, never saw it, never think of it, and then

just play dumb and go, oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

What?

I always support you.

I'm sorry.

What?

I forgot.

That's what I do.

Just completely ignore it.

Play dumb.

Hilarious.

Love you all.

Love you, Jerry Bear.

Well, now word is out.

People, everybody listens to the handsome pod.

So now everybody's going to know that Jerry

is

full of it.

I love that he says, I always support you.

I can't do it.

I still think about like there was a friend who's, I told her I would go to her premiere, and I forgot I had another event that night, and I didn't go.

And I still think about that.

I did have a comedian who I will not name say they were going to do my Largo show.

Was it me?

Was it me?

It was Tig Motaro.

No, but it was like an hour before the show, and he texts me, hey, I'm really not feeling well.

I'm really tired and I'm not going to make it.

And I never mind when people flake because I'm a flake.

So I was like, hey, man, no worries.

Like two hours later, I see him on Instagram at a party raving.

So wait, that matters to you?

You probably do that.

Yeah, I was going to say that doesn't sound too unmay-like.

No,

I don't flake.

to go to other things.

Usually I'll freak out and cancel everything and just sit home and feel guilty or be anxious Or

so it matters to you that he canceled

you would, you're like, then you better just stay home.

You better stay home and look at the wall.

Yeah, okay.

It was just so shameless to be on Instagram like, woo!

Yes, like, oh my god.

But

you know, I respect it.

I respect it.

We learned more new things about each other today.

As always, what a lot of people.

I loved, loved the story, and I want to revisit maybe in a future episode the woman with the one sprig of hair.

I just am like,

I can't believe her.

Quierado.

Quierado.

Maybe the pattern behind you makes it look like

the Coliseum is behind you or something.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it does.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, are you entertained?

I would leave a note in this hotel room for handsome listeners, except

nobody's found the one in the Silver lake lounge that i left yeah but all in good time that's the fun it's not like you need a response you know within two weeks

a long game yeah if you that's gonna be the fun is we're gonna go about our lives we're gonna end the podcast We're gonna go off and do our own things.

And then we're gonna hear through a friend of a friend that someone found that.

And then it's gonna go viral online like seven years from now.

That would be good if it was actually like decades from now.

Decades.

Yeah.

But you have to leave a note in your, in that hotel.

Okay, you heard it here.

I'm staying at Shortage House in London.

Okay.

And I'm going to leave a note.

Let's see.

Behind the TV, I think.

So

there's the TV.

I'm going to leave the note.

uh behind the tv okay and i'm in room number nine okay

what's it called the shortage house Shortage house, yeah.

Room number nine.

A note from May will be behind the TV.

That was pointless for you to get up and wander around, right?

Yeah, well, I was looking for a spot.

Yeah,

you wanted to feel

the space.

And

what did we offer?

Was it a free

link to a streaming chain?

Key party keychains.

Oh, a keychain.

People were asking what the 822 means on our key party keychains.

It's when our podcast started.

Oh, oh,

August 22nd.

Did you come up with that?

I did not.

I don't know who came up with it.

That's really nice.

I like that's a nice touch.

822.

I came up with it.

I am

genius.

Classic Thomas.

Classic Thomas.

That's amazing.

So if you get a key part,

we sell key party keychains.

822 is when the pod started.

You guys have handsome hoodies.

Look at this.

That looks so good on you, Fortune.

this is i swear to god i'm not i'm not trying to sell them because whatever why are you not trying to sell them i mean what

yeah come on

i'm telling you this genuinely this hoodie and i have our mashing sweatpants on too the most comfortable i'm telling you anyone that buys this i dare you to think this is not the most comfortable sweat

i dare you i dare you to think

i dare you to think pierce yeah wow all right we'll settle down Fortune.

Both of our live shows have sold out now in Austin and in Nashville.

Thank you guys for that.

But you're in luck because our Austin show on April 12th is going to be live streamed.

There are no tickets left, so that's the only way to see it.

That link will be good for a week.

And it's going to be a really fun show.

We got about, there's, that'll be the biggest live stream we've had as far as in person, 3,000 people that's gonna be off the charts and I have actually a surprise for uh Fortune and May that night and they look

their faces lit up

yeah I planned this with Thomas I have a big surprise for both of you oh my god

it's going to be in front of 3,000 people in Austin and for the entire streaming audience you're not going to want to miss this because

Thomas is it not a special surprise?

It's going to be a very special surprise.

Oh, my God.

Maybe a bit of a challenge.

Oh, a challenge?

Whoa.

Yeah, but it is no doubt a surprise.

I like the challenge.

Don't miss that.

You guys get your tickets.

Yeah.

Have a watch party, watch with your friends.

And you probably, I think, can send in a question for us on the live stream and we might answer some audience questions.

Yeah.

Nice.

Yeah, what do you got coming up?

I'm, my tour is starting.

I have one last practice show in Ontario, California.

And then my

next big tour starts in Savannah, Georgia, and Charleston, South Carolina,

the beginning of April.

And then I have Rockford, Illinois, Columbus, we added a show, Greensboro, North Carolina, Roanoke, Baltimore, Grand Rapids, Minneapolis, lots of places.

You can go to my website, FortuneFeamster.com for tickets.

Awesome.

And I'm going to be in Chicago hosting the Ambies Awards.

It's the podcasting awards.

That's on March 31st.

I'll be in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, June 14th.

I'll be in P-Town on August 23rd.

And then go to tignotaro.com for all ticket and show information.

And I'm also going to be working out new stuff at Largo in Los Angeles and

Dynasty Typewriter.

So get those dates online at tignotaro.com.

Please share an episode, your favorite episode with your friends and let's keep building this awesome community.

And make sure to subscribe to the podcast as well as our YouTube channel and

like and review.

I am at Largo on March 28th and then uh April 25th.

And also what I would love so much is if people listen to my album, it's out.

It's like, and you can order, it's a really cool vinyl.

Um, and there's some cool t-shirts on MaymartinMusic.com.

And then, if you go on Spotify and stream it, let me know what your favorite song is.

Awesome.

And congrats again on the album and tour.

Very cool.

Yeah.

But until then,

Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feemster.

The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willette.

Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com, and please follow us on social media at handsomepod.

What a

podcast!

What a podcast!

What a podcast!

That was a hit gum podcast.

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