Pretty Little Episode #56

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Pretty little episode.

Welcome to a pretty little episode of the Handsome Pod.

I'm one of your hosts, Mae Martin, and I'm your other one of your hosts, Fortune Feemster.

How are you doing?

I'm doing great.

You look great.

Thanks, pal.

You're home from

your adventure.

I think you're home early.

Yeah,

I'm not.

I'm going to go.

I think I'll go back.

I just,

I arrived seven minutes ago and like raced in and found my podcasting gear.

And

I got to say, it feels good to be back around all my objects.

Oh, that means you love your house.

I do love my house.

Yeah, that's a that's a nice feeling when you have a homey situation.

Yeah, but I loved it up there too.

Yeah.

Are you are you having any time for yourself these days?

No, sweet fortune.

No, never.

Never.

Never.

I'm having a little time for myself here and there.

Yeah.

Where I've been going back to North Carolina quite a bit.

Technically, it's, you know, for my mom.

But I'm technically not working except for like our pod and my radio show while I'm there.

But it's been nice to like spend a lot of time with my family and with my mom.

And then just being in my hometown is really cute.

Very grounding.

Yeah, but I'm about to get crazy busy again.

I know.

Yeah.

I'm doing a new TV show.

And this one's with Will Farrell and Molly Shannon.

Two of the greats.

So the 15, 16, 17-year-old me.

I mean, I'm dying right now because I love them both.

But they were, I told Will, I was like, y'all were like my SNL cast when I was in high school.

Like,

I'm like,

I did your bits

for my tennis team and my friends.

Yeah.

And he's like, I'm going to garnish your wages for the first episode.

Pay me back for all those bits.

I go, do it.

Yeah.

I think I'm going to also get in better shape because I play a caddy.

It's a golf show.

Yeah.

And I will be carrying around.

There's no way around it.

I'm going to be carrying a real golf bag with golf.

Golf gloves.

Yeah.

They're not going to make like foam golf gloves.

Yeah.

I'm going to be sore as a motherfucker.

You're going to be a caddy.

Like you're actually going to be a caddy.

Yeah, because there's no golf.

This isn't, it's, it's no golf cart situation.

It is walking golf courses.

I will be having to lather up and sunscreen.

Yeah.

And

my arm strength is going to be mighty.

Yeah.

I'm excited about that.

It would be fun.

Imagine getting a part where you have to really specifically train to do something.

Like, you know that clip of, is it Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman?

And she just

takes her whip and she...

with like amazing precision whips the heads off all these mannequins.

Yeah, that was cool.

To have a reason to learn the whip, that would be great.

That would be great.

Mine's just going to be to carry a bag.

Yeah, right.

So not the best skill, but a skill.

If anything, it's more practical than a whip.

I wonder if I'll learn to play golf in the process.

Do caddies play?

Caddies are like crazy knowledgeable.

They're the ones that are telling the golfers.

They're like a coach.

Really?

Yeah, they're the ones that are like, you need to use this club.

They're giving them advice.

They're like very well versed in golf.

I didn't know that.

Yeah,

it's not just a,

I mean, at least at the pro level, it's not just like a kid being like, here's your golf club, sir.

Yeah, it's not like the ball boys at tennis games.

No, these guys can make like they make like a percentage, I think, of your payday.

So if you win, like, say,

some big-ass prize, they could get like a million bucks or something.

Oh, really?

They get a percentage of your prize at the high level.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Because these guys are like

in-demand golf pros, like connoisseurs.

Yeah.

And your caddy can like make or break your entire game.

When I was like 13, I saw the legend of Bagger Vance in movie theaters with my friend Nicole.

And we were, I mean, totally sober, hadn't discovered weed at that point.

And I got this hysteria laughing every time they said the words Bagger Vance.

Oh, really?

Just the idea of the legend of Bagger Vance just was crack.

I couldn't, I was crying.

And then we got told off by other people in the movie theater to be quiet.

Oh, wow.

And that really like cemented our friendship.

And then I, she passed me her Coke and it dropped, but it was in one of those movie theater things with the lid on it and it didn't spill.

And then the fact that it hadn't spilled, I don't know, to us, was just like the funniest thing.

I don't know.

You know, when you're that age and you're just like,

you're just so simpatico with someone and you can't stop giggling about everything.

Yeah.

Everything that happens, you just immediately lock eyes and cry laugh.

Aw.

Yeah.

Love that.

Well, that's coming out soon, right?

Yeah, and I'll see, I'll see Nicole, actually, because she was my friend who got sent to one of these troubled teen institutes.

So she was a consultant on the show.

Wow.

And she'll come to the premiere and stuff.

Yeah.

And when does that come out?

Oh, the premiere is September 9th, and then it comes out September 25th.

Oh, my gosh.

I know.

It's crazy.

It's exciting.

I got to think what I'm going to wear to all these events.

Oh, yeah.

Something snazzy.

You know, I'm in my tank top era.

Oh, you're going to wear a tank to the premiere?

I got to find a way to dress up a tank.

I think I'll just wear a suit with a tank under it.

Well, you, of all people, could pull it off.

Thanks.

Thanks, man.

Yeah.

I actually could watch it right now if I wanted to.

It is in, because I work for Netflix

on the radio show.

I have all this preview content in my Netflix.

And they gave you my show?

Yeah, it's in there.

What are you talking about?

That's crazy to me.

That's so vulnerable because no one's seen it yet.

Well, I haven't haven't watched it yet, but I will.

I'm going to watch the whole thing.

I watched all of Feel Good.

Thank you.

What if you watch it and you notice that I've like stolen lots of things you said from the pod and it's all in the dialogue?

I wouldn't remember.

Yeah, that's true.

I don't remember half the stuff I said.

The best was when Thomas was like, hey, people seem to really like that character, Amelia, that you did.

And you're like, sorry?

Wait, what?

What did I do?

I gotta go back and listen to that because i'm still fuzzy on what i did yeah

but apparently it was a big hit big hit yay me yay that's probably what when will farrell saw it and he saw amelia the character he was like get this girl in my show now yeah yeah some of my sometimes they put stuff in my previews like a week before

Sometimes it's a couple days before, but yeah, this one is a month before.

That's crazy.

Mm-hmm.

So

I hold so much power.

You do.

It's really scary.

But no one can go on my Netflix and just watch it.

You click on it and they text you a code.

Yeah, yeah, because it's on my Netflix right now.

So I've been trying to resist just putting it on, but it's so thrilling to see the like.

The Netflix logo and then the, yeah.

I bet.

Well, it's a, it's hard to get any show made.

And this is now your second.

Yeah, I'm pumped.

And my dad's in it.

He plays a puppet maker in one scene.

He doesn't have a line, but he is featured in one episode pretty, you know, he's on screen for a good 20 seconds.

Oh, I love that.

Yeah, with his puppets.

And so he's coming to the premiere, and he was like, should I bring a puppet to the premiere?

Perhaps on the red carpet, I could bring my puppet Zolta.

And I'm like, what did you say?

I was all for it.

No, I'm into it.

I'm like, I want a spin-off show about the puppet man.

Oh, my God.

So funny.

Well, look at you getting dad in there.

Got to.

He's a song.

Watch his.

Well, you brought your mom on Kimmel and you were hosting.

You got to do it.

What's the point otherwise?

Yeah.

Yeah.

We got to give our people some fun adventures.

Totally.

We can't be the only ones doing this crazy Hollywood stuff.

It's more fun when there's someone you know and love around you as well.

You can, yeah.

I'm excited today because apparently, after our like impassioned plea for people to ask advice questions, a lot of people have sent in advice questions.

That's right.

So, today's questions are all going to be advice.

What do you think they're going to be?

Oh, I don't know, but I feel well equipped to handle 90% of these.

Do you?

What would be out of your remit?

Like, I guess if it was a really sucking D's.

I don't know.

You can't.

I don't know how to do that, yo.

So, ladies, if you're asking, I'm not answering because I don't know.

If people have sent in questions about how do I best SAD, I'd be shocked.

Yeah, you'd have to take that one, bud.

Number.

I'd be like,

I've said it before.

I touched one wiener and I grabbed it like a hot clarinet.

Just like this.

I don't want to grab it for too long, you know?

I bet that that is someone's specific kink, though.

There's some man out there that's like, I don't know how to ask my girlfriend to touch my dick like a hot clarinet.

And

they look at me and I go, sorry.

Sorry, boys.

Sorry.

You can think it and dream it, but it's never going to happen.

I want that.

I want you to play the caddy like that.

Never going to fucking happen because I'm gay as a effer.

Well, on that note, should we get to one of the questions?

Hey there, Tig, May, and Fortune.

It is Annalise from Vermont.

Huge, handsome listener, obviously, like many of us, but

you three really bright up my day every time I listen to you.

And this is why I'm asking for some advice right now.

I am wondering how you get out of imposter syndrome.

I'm assuming maybe the three of you have felt that in times of your careers.

And yeah, I feel like I'm in a pivoting point in my career and I'm looking to change things up, get my own business going.

And imposter syndrome has been really keeping me, I don't know, stagnant.

So what the hell do I do with that?

I love your advice.

Thank you so much.

And I have no answer because, yeah, looking for advice on this one.

Thank you.

So much love to you.

Ann Elise from Vermont.

Great question.

And imposter syndrome, it's pretty much just feeling like at any minute someone's going to figure out that you don't know what you're doing, right?

Like that.

Everyone else knows how to do things and you're just freestyling.

And

that you're not

qualified to be there.

That somehow you got tapped too early.

Yeah.

A thing that was a turning point for me was like...

living with a child and being even even temporarily in a semi-parental role, like a caregiver role.

Because I was like, oh my God, I'm a child myself.

Like, I don't know what I'm doing.

And then you kind of realize all parents are

doing

like there's no

suddenly become an adult.

And we're all teenagers pretending like this performance of maturity.

Yeah.

And

so maybe, yeah, just realizing that everyone has the same feeling.

What have you had it?

I don't have it often, but I've had it because, you know, you always feel a little out of your league in certain things.

Yeah.

I think I had

the first,

maybe half of my first season that I did the Mindy Project

because it was my first series regular role.

I had done Chelsea lately, but it was just like sketches and stuff like that.

And I had done a couple pilots, but this was my first, like, oh, you're like on the show

acting.

There's no one, you know.

This isn't the time to ask questions.

These are professionals, high-level writing.

And it was my first, yeah, like big acting gig.

So I kind of just had to, like,

you know, luckily I knew like the basics,

but I just had to kind of watch to be like,

you know,

you know, figuring out the lingo and stuff on set and what to do, you know, when you mess up a take.

Yeah, just, I, I just was kind of quiet and just observing for a long time.

And then, and then got the hang of it, probably maybe six episodes in um but yeah for

for that early part i was just like

i don't know what i'm doing here

i want to go watch those first six episodes and look and see the fear in your eyes like just a slight like look to the side i'm sure i looked down the barrel of the camera a couple times oh for sure

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yeah so like that's why now if i have any anyone that i know like doing their first big acting gig i'll call them up and be like okay here's what this means yes this is like this and this is like hit your mark and do this and this is the lighting and this is what will happen here just because you know that no one teaches you that stuff in an acting class i think there's it's like a balance where A, you have to be confident enough to ask questions and maybe find like your anchor, like find a person who you can confide in early and say hey listen I don't really know what I'm doing but like yeah so that but then also my tendency is to say to everyone I don't know what I'm doing and and then that has a bad I wouldn't do that yeah like I wouldn't do that I get this like low status like even show running on set I'm like I don't know it's like I don't really feel that it's like a defense mechanism but yeah maybe not making it your comedic angle that you're like a newbie but finding one person that you trust that you can be like i think it is a fake it till you make it kind of thing you have to do without overcompensating yeah where you're like oh i know everything

don't do that

but be like open to like suggestions because you know that you don't instead of being like i don't know if someone's you know got an idea be like oh yeah that's great you know just being kind of open to

other people's leading the way and you're just kind of following and observing but also being, you know, a participant to the extent that you can.

And probably you're more qualified to be there than you think.

Of course.

Some of this is just mental and doubting yourself.

And I would say have confidence in yourself.

Yeah, somebody hired you.

Yeah.

Yeah, 100%.

I think.

I wonder if it's different if you're like a surgeon.

You can't really fake it till you make it.

That one, no, because it requires tons of training to get to a human.

Yeah.

But yeah, in other scenarios that aren't life or death, you can fake it till you make it and just

believe in yourself.

I like what you're saying about like immerse yourself in the experience.

Like really be social, talk to people.

Don't just be on your phone, you know, or eat your lunch alone because you're nervous.

Like,

get amongst it and then you'll feel.

more see how other people are doing it that you think are doing a good job kind of emulate them do you think did annalise give her answer or because it's advice she did not she just wanted that advice.

And I think we gave her pretty solid advice.

Annalise, you got this.

Yeah, you got this.

You go rocket in Vermont and show them what's up.

Yeah.

The newspaper headline tomorrow is a woman pretending to be surgeon

causes mayhem in local hospital in Vermont.

That's right.

All right.

Who's next?

Thomas?

Hey, Fortune Tig and May.

My name's Ash.

Pronouns they, them.

I was just listening to your recent pretty little episode where you were saying no one's asking you for advice.

So I find myself in the current situation of having lots of long-distance friendships after moving states.

And assuming, you know, all of you travel around quite a bit and hopefully you have friends, what do you do to maintain long-distance?

friendships what have you found most helpful thanks great question ash that definitely happens, especially the older you get.

Yes.

And living in, like, I've lived in three different time zones.

And so I have groups of friends that I, but I like what you did recently, going to Iceland with an old friend.

It's like the friendships you want to invest in, carve out serious one-on-one time with those people.

It's so rare that you have a solid like four days with someone, but then that could, that's more than like,

you know, a year of coffees with someone that lives around the corner.

Like, yeah, that's sort of what I do.

Like going up to this cottage, and I had friends, like Lisa Gilroy, came up for a couple of days.

And it's like so rare that you get a couple days with someone and then you're fill up your cup.

Yeah, I've got a lot of long-distance friendships just from moving here from North Carolina and people in college going to different states to live.

One of my friends I went to Nashville with, I mean, I'm Iceland with, she moved to Nashville a few years ago.

And that was so jarring because we,

we've been best friends for many years now.

And just, you know, you get kind of spoiled that you know your friend's just like 15 minutes away, that you kind of take it for granted.

And then when they leave, you're like, oh, I should have done more with my friend.

But it's nice when it's a friend that allows you some grace because everyone's busy.

If it's a friend who's like always making you feel guilty for like not keeping in touch, that friendship's not going to go far totally because everyone's busy and everyone's got a life my friend's a mom and she works if i were to be like i never hear from you what are you doing what do you you don't care about me anymore she'd be like what like maybe maybe you get one of those yeah but you know you gotta just be okay with not talking for a bit and then like having the best time catching up at some point Yes.

So giving each other grace for sure.

Yeah.

The worst is like a newer friendship where then they very quickly are like, hey, I'm feeling kind of bummed that we haven't seen each other in a few weeks.

And I'm like, oh, no,

this has got no future.

Cause like,

yeah.

Yeah, we're all a capacity.

I've had a couple of people like that where you're like, oh, this could be a cool friend.

And then guilt trip like week three.

And you're like, oh, no, thank you.

100%.

Yeah.

So

that's a big one.

But, you know, checking in once in a while, texting, like, it's so easy to be like, thanking you or hope things are good, or, you know, making a point to call on the phone, even if it's like once a month.

Yeah.

The thing is, you're never going to keep in touch with them to the extent you would if you were in the same city, but there are plenty of ways to like keep the connection.

Yeah.

And definitely, I think if there's a handful of people you really want to invest in, then planning little trips or going to visit them, then you get that concentrated amount of time, even if it's just one night.

Like, yeah.

Yeah.

When I go on tour, I will try to see different friends in cities, like having a dinner.

Yeah.

I know I won't see them for like another year.

We'll check in here or there, and that's, that's okay.

Yeah.

But the friends are fun.

You should, they should not be

in just one zip code.

Yeah.

You heard it here.

There you, there you go.

Thanks, Ash.

Should we squeeze one more?

Let's squeeze that in.

Yeah.

That's what she said.

Hi, handsome.

My name is Emma.

Similar to May, I'm an adult without a driver's license, and I've actually recently failed my driving test two different times.

Oh, no.

And I think it's partly because the tension with the test examiner is like really getting to me.

And so I'm looking for your advice on the best thing to say when the test examiner gets in the car the next time I try to take the test again to kind of break that tension.

Love the podcast.

Hope you can help me out.

Thanks, guys.

Maybe put on our podcast in the car.

Blast a podcast.

Blast them

singing.

Chatting with the podcast.

But also, so this is going to be the same examiner?

Like, could you not go to a different.

I think there needs to be another one.

I think so.

I think you're stuck in a rut with this person.

Yeah, I think they've got bad energy.

It's their fault.

It is their fault.

You haven't done anything wrong, Emma.

Yeah,

if we were testing you, you'd be passing every time.

I mean, first off, I would maybe practice a little bit before taking that test so you feel more comfortable right definitely you're probably in your head a little bit at the moment yeah thinking oh i keep failing this test maybe you call it call it out name the feeling you go oh i was thinking about what to say to you when you get in the car because you know third time lucky like

you go oh i'm feeling the tension a little bit although i guess depending on how you phrase it you could it could sound like you're coming onto them being a creep yeah do you do you feel that tension I keep failing, so I'll see you again.

Yeah.

You don't say that.

You could cut this tension with a knife.

I say just keep practicing a little bit before your next test.

So you know you got the skill behind you.

And then when you're in the car, just try not to focus on the tester.

Yeah.

Focus on the road.

Focus on the road.

Focus on the road.

You know, get your hands at.

Where do they go?

10 and 2.

I thought it was 10 and 2.

Someone recently told me it's changed to.

9 and 2?

To 9 and 3 or something.

Oh.

I think it's 10 and 2.

I'm going to keep...

10 and 2.

Yeah, I can see 9 and 3.

Sometimes I go down to, what would this be?

7 and 5?

That's dangerous.

That's when your hands are resting on your lap, basically.

Yeah.

So focus on the road.

Don't focus on this person.

They don't matter other than they're going to decide whether or not you pass.

Well,

following that logic, maybe there is a world where you butter them up a bit.

Like they are are obviously power drunk.

They failed you twice.

Bring up some MMs.

Yeah.

Or you go, God, I'm so glad I got you again as my tester.

I was worried it would be someone else.

Yeah, a little

ego boost.

Yeah.

Or you go, okay, I don't hate that.

You go, because you know my driving, you're going to notice how much better I am this time.

And what if the person's like, what are you talking about?

I never met you.

Yeah, yeah, it wasn't me.

I do about 30 of these a day.

Yeah.

It's It's not that deep.

Emma, good luck to you.

I believe in you.

May believes in you.

Yeah.

We know you got this.

And they say third time's a charm.

Totally.

So you got this, my friend.

But even if it takes, it takes five times.

Like, you don't have the muscle memory.

You're like me.

You're a grown adult.

Yeah.

So give yourself a break.

That's right.

Okay, that was fun.

I like the advice.

The advice is fun.

Advice is good.

Yeah.

I love it.

Please keep submitting your questions and advice requests requests to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod.

Give us the questions.

Give us

what advice, anything you want.

We're here for you.

Yeah, we'll teach you how to S and D.

Mine will all be made up advice, which also could be fun.

Yeah.

First, you got to warm your hands.

Yeah.

You got to put on some mitts.

Warm those hands because you know nobody likes a cold, shocking touch.

Except I'm sure someone does.

Someone does.

There's someone for everyone out there, May.

You're right.

Dunk your hands in ice.

Yeah, well, you never know what you'll get here, but we're glad you tuned in and we love it.

We love hearing from you.

And we love being a part of the Handsome Pod community.

That's correct.

So check out our regular episode next week.

And until then,

keep it pretty handsome.

Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tignotaro, and Fortune Feemster.

The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willette.

Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsome pod.

What a

podcast!

What a podcast!

That was a hit gun podcast.

Checking all state first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance is smart.

Unfortunately, not checking that your freezer door is closed is not smart.

I had to learn to enjoy ice cream soup, but my frozen tater tots were tragically unsalgable.

Yeah, checking first is smart, so check All State First for a quote that could save you hundreds.

You're in good hands with Allstate.

Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability.

All-state North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.