Martha Plimpton asks about astrological signs

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Cheers.

Hey, it's your dear friend Tignotaro sitting here on the Handsome Podcast with my co-hosts.

May Martin, also sitting here on the Handsome podcast, and joined finally by It's Fortune Feamster, also sitting here.

Hmm,

we are sitting here, which is different places.

Yes, we're sitting in different places, but we're yes ending.

Yes, end.

Yes, and go on, yes, and

it makes me feel connected when we yes end.

It's so nice being connected

because it feels bad when you're not connected.

I wish we all lived in the same body.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

And I'm out.

Can you imagine?

Out.

If we all had to, it was all three of our minds, but in one body.

And so we had to take turns being like, can I be in control today?

Like, because I want to go sit on a bench or like, can I be on control?

Yeah.

Hmm.

So one person would be in control.

At a time.

Yes.

Sort of driving the ship while the other two just have to sit there.

That would definitely be a lot of communicating with each other and negotiating.

Which May would like.

That's all I want.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Here's my question.

What if, like, May, what if you turned into, and maybe you are, but, like, a massive control freak.

It has to all be you.

You need to decide everything.

Then what do we do?

What do us little, pretty little ladies do?

Well, because the way I'm picturing it is like in that movie Inside Out.

Is that what it's called?

Where it's like we're numb skulls.

Like the three of us are sitting inside a brain and we're being like, can I get a turn on the control?

So yeah, you guys would just have to talk amongst yourselves.

And I'd, I'd.

I know, but what if you were taking too much control?

Like you were like, I still, I don't want to let go of this.

I just,

it feels too good to have this kind of power.

So we're going to another escape room.

Yeah, it sounds good to me.

I mean, you guys would have to like forcibly take the controls back.

I think.

How do we do that, though?

This is your made-up

dogwash.

Overpower me.

Overpower me physically.

I think I would just pipe up when it came to like ordering food.

Yeah.

I'd be pretty amenable with everything.

See, there'd be a problem because Tig's a vegan and

really genuinely loves healthy food.

And I would be like, oh, I'm really feeling naughty today.

Well, so wait, are you saying that we have like one mouth?

Yeah, one mouth.

Oh, it's like being John Malkovich, but there's three of us inside Tig's out now.

Inside.

Oh, now you're out.

Tig's like, I don't want to eat the garbage food that Fortune eats.

But Fortune, we could wait till Tig falls asleep and then we order like whatever we want.

You do late night cravings while I'm asleep.

That's right.

Look, I like a snack and a treat and, you know, basket of fries and chips and a cookie more than the next pretty little lady.

But, you know, it's more of like burgers.

Yeah, stuff like that.

It's the meat.

Yeah.

It's the meat and it's the dairy.

But listen here.

Oh, but cheese is so tasty.

You know, I love me a charcuterie board.

We do.

We know that.

And so you're saying, Fortune,

that it would just be wonderful to just spend spend the day

rolling around,

not worrying about anything except here comes the

cheese.

Yeah.

Maybe the three of us could be in Thomas's skull taking, and we're in control of Thomas'

day,

you know?

Interesting.

What would we do?

Sort his life out, I think.

Not that it needs sorting.

Yeah, do you need your life sorted out

by us?

Yes,

sort this out.

Thomas is off off the rails again.

Oh my gosh.

What's on your t-shirt there, Tick?

And Fortune.

Let's talk tease.

Let's talk tease.

Let's talk teas.

Georgia.

Georgia, very nice.

It's for the University of Georgia, the Go Dogs.

My mom went there.

All right.

And this is KCRW.

It's that radio

station.

Public radio.

Yeah, you're listening to KCRW.

Which is exactly how public radio hosts sound.

Hey, what's up?

Thanks for tuning tuning in to KCRW.

So would it be more like, hello, everyone.

Thank you for tuning in today.

What a pleasure it is to be talking to all of you.

I just got up from a network.

I'm connecting with my listeners.

It'd be like, what do we think about Bebery?

Where do we go in our bides?

Is it to a physical place?

Are you suggesting that people on public radio have sinus issues?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm thinking of, well,

is Ira Glass public radio, like this American Life?

Yeah.

Because he's sort of all, he's sort of like

today in the podcast.

We're talking to people who, was that pretty good?

I would not have guessed that that's Ira in the podcast.

I'll be honest.

I would have guessed May Martin doing public radio.

That's so funny.

I was just about to say that, Mormon.

If I heard that, I would say, who is May trying to

impersonate right now?

Never in a million years would I have guessed Ira Glass.

My apologies.

Yeah.

Have you guys been up to anything fun?

I just got back from Tiff and had the premiere of my show there.

And that was really, it felt like my wedding.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I've never had a wedding, but I assume it's not that.

You were the belle of the ball.

Well, it was like friends from the past.

And even in the show, like, there's a,

not friends from the future?

No.

Well, how would I know?

Maybe the whole audience.

But yeah, like, even there's a guy on the show, Mark McKinney, who is from that show, Superstore and Kids in the Hole.

And he, I babysat for him when I was 13.

And he's in the show.

So it was just like a lot of full circle.

Yeah.

And the show's kind of based on my friend getting sent to this troubled teen institute.

And so she came and then that was more emotional than I anticipated.

It was like,

man, we've like transmuted this awful experience.

And she was a consultant on the show and it was just nice.

And y'all got to watch the show on a big screen, yeah.

We watched two episodes, guys.

Listen, you've been in movies, you guys have done, I've never seen myself on a big screen like that.

That was wild.

And how did the audience respond?

They seem to like it.

Yeah, you know, you know, who knows?

We'll see.

It comes out.

I think it's going to be fan.

It's going to be a hit.

I can already tell.

And did you like it?

Were you like, I, this is awesome.

This looks great.

It feels great.

This is, this is, this is it.

I like it.

Yeah.

I like it.

Obviously, I'm, I'm noticing like the tiny things where I, but, but I, yeah, I'm proud of it.

It's kind of, I think if you go into it expecting like a procedural crime thriller, you're going to be like

disappointed.

But if you go in expecting a sort of twin peaksy

sort of

spooky,

then you might be.

You might be into it.

I'm excited.

Well, when this podcast airs, it will have been out for five days.

So put it on in the background.

Yeah,

the listeners need to tune in.

Now, what if somebody went in with zero expectations?

That's ideal.

Okay.

Yeah, that's so ideal.

Yeah.

What if they go in wanting

love scenes like from Feel Good?

There's one, there's one beautiful.

Yeah, isn't there one insane, like,

is it full frontal?

No, but it's almost worse.

It's almost crazier.

And

I can't believe they let me keep it in because they made me take out a shot of my character injecting testosterone.

They said that that would,

that in their test viewings,

people turned off.

And they were like, obviously, it's up to you, but, you know, we could just lose the injecting testosterone.

And I was like, obviously furious.

And like, and then I was like, well.

If it's going to get people into the show and

then, and if I'm allowed to have this insane sex scene in episode five, then I'm happy to compromise on little things because it's actually.

Everyone's forwarding to episode five.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Well, I'm excited to watch it.

It was good.

I got to see Tony Colette doing press with her in Toronto.

And

we bring out like the witchy side.

Like we went out kayaking under the full moon, the eclipse.

And we, I mean, they were like, you know, don't go past this barrier out into Lake Ontario.

And Tony gets in the kayak immediately, just kayaks out across the lake in under the full moon.

And she's, and we did spells and we wrote down what we want to release and dissolved it.

And it was good.

Yeah.

Now we're in the same canoe or separate?

Separate kayaks.

Our kayaks.

Also known as being in the same boat.

That's my right.

Good one.

We were emotionally in the same boat.

Yeah.

And what was it like?

Was it like, May?

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

There we go.

If I could...

Wait, what accent is that?

We don't know.

We really don't.

Razor blades.

Jennifer Lopez.

Here's what I'd like to talk about.

Jennifer Lopez.

Wow.

Wow.

I'd really like to get rid of razor blades.

That's a huge issue.

Tony listens to the pod, and every time there's an Australian accent, she'll comment and be like, that's the worst thing I've ever heard.

Tony,

I need you to calm down.

Get on.

I'm working on it.

Very supply.

How are you?

What have you been up to?

Oh, you started filming.

I did.

I started filming this Will Farrell show.

Super fun.

So far, everything I've shot is just Will and I, and it's such a trip.

I'm like.

I just can't believe I'm getting to go toe-to-toe with this like comedy legend.

Yeah, seriously.

And find your comedic groove together, like that.

And he's like, such a nice guy and chill vibe.

Like, we just the set was just easy, and

we were out in the hot, hot-ass sun.

It was like almost 100 degrees, but everybody was like,

you know, no, no complaining, just having a good time, laughing.

It's pretty great.

We'll see how it goes day two.

I know, that was my thought.

I was like, so this was day one, right?

Yeah.

Day two, everyone's like, oh, F this.

And that's a wrap on season one.

I'm like, it's amazing.

You've been there one day.

Do you feel like when, you know, a production, you start to sniff out like, oh boy, this is way more complicated.

Have you ever been like, I'm thinking about a sh when I've been on shows where I guest starred or something and I'm like, God, everybody's so nice.

And then people are like, well, wait, I mean, you don't, there's a lot going on here.

Yes.

I had that when I did one

guest role on Glee.

Remember that show, Glee?

They had a lot of drama on their sets, I believe.

And

I

filmed the second to the very last episode ever.

Oh my god.

Oh my God.

That everyone was like checked out.

Oh, yeah.

To the point where I didn't even know who the director was.

I think the DP was like telling me what to do.

I'm like, I got in charge here.

Oh, my God.

And so they all just didn't like each other or whatever.

I think that they were like.

Well, Corey Monteith had passed away.

They were all grieving that.

That was I think that was like two seasons, a couple of seasons before the the end.

Yeah.

They had just different clicks.

Yeah.

And certain one and certain actors, I think from what the rumors were at the time certain what actors didn't get along with the other actors so right they had their little teams

so i just didn't talk to anybody oh no you just went in put your head down did your job although i'm friends with chris culford i love him um and he he was delightful because he's a delightful uh guy yeah he seems great yeah yeah it's always just so amusing i mean it's it's a bummer but it's just always so funny because everybody's so nice and welcoming.

You've never been there.

And then you

find out like

everyone.

You know what it is too with a show like that is like, I randomly went to the premiere of that show because that when I was a journalist and you see everybody very like innocent and like, I'm happy to be here.

It's success.

Yeah.

When something blows up, then it's like, you know, two seasons later, you're like, oh my God, what happened?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Everyone needs to get in and get out one or two seasons and then

get out, I think.

For people that, when casts do not get along, and then when they're going through press, like we are, it's like a family here.

Yeah.

And it's, it is like a family in that you're about to kill each other.

Yeah, right.

And there's massive issues and a lot simmering underneath.

Yeah.

It's that anyway, that's just always a funny surprise.

Because now now when I say something to somebody on set, I'm like, everybody seems so nice.

Is it like that?

Or is there, you know what I mean?

Because it, it's so, it's so rare that everybody really is just all.

I feel like often if you're a guest star on something and you show up and there's one cast member who's super nice to you, hey, what's up?

Often they're the troublemaker because they've alienated themselves from everyone else and they're like,

yeah

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What else is going on?

Well, I'm, you know, it was announced Stephanie just got booked in this big film.

And so she's in London.

And then we're going to kind of, I mean, I don't know that we're going to go back and forth now that I almost said we're going to go back and forth.

Yeah, that's 10 hours on what?

Yeah, we're going to go

to visit her for like,

I don't know, almost 10 days, maybe.

And so it's a really big deal because Stephanie's mother, her family is from England.

Yeah.

And it's been Nana's big dream to be in England with Stephanie and the boys.

And so she's flying over to be with us.

And

so

and Max and Finn are really into drinking tea.

And

we start like when they were three, we started.

having tea with them in which of course their tea was so lukewarm you know and um but we would go and have tea in our front living room and and talk and so we'd sit down with them with our teacups and we'd be like so let's talk and then um and so they would talk and of course it was like three-year-old talk but to this day i mean it's stuck they love tea and they can't wait to go for high tea and yes and high tea yeah so i hope anyway

the um the museums in london for kids are so good the natural history museum is amazing

Okay, great.

Yeah, yeah.

I have good kid recommendations, I think.

Do you need any recommendations from me?

Also, I'm very familiar with this area.

I thought this is a country accent.

First, I thought it was Southern.

Yeah, I thought it was Southern.

No, it's my English accent.

No, it's not.

It's not.

No, it's not.

No, fortune.

It's not an English accent.

Fortunately not.

Like, you, I'm very excited about for you.

Listen to yourself.

Listen.

Say again and listen.

I'm very.

Thank you.

I'm very excited for tea.

Wow.

This is a

you have a lead role almost on a Netflix series.

Oh my God.

My name is Fortune and I'm from London, England.

That's what you sound like.

How dare you?

I'm born and raised in London.

How dare you.

How dare you you come on here?

How dare you, Fortune Marie, coming on here and acting like you're nailing any sort of accent across the pond?

Wait, but also, Tig, you should take the boys to see Debbie.

Get them some haircuts.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Should I?

Oh, hello.

I love Debbie.

See, this is a good impression, Fortune.

Pay attention.

Come on, Deb.

Let's hear it.

Yeah, let's hear it.

Oh, twins, is it?

Oh, I haven't seen twins since 1984.

Twins, is it?

I haven't seen twins since

forever.

We have a neighbor, this elderly man,

since Max, well, when Max and Finn were babies, and we would stroll them past his house up until maybe they were three.

He would always say, Twins?

Oh, my God.

And the answer was always, yeah.

Yeah.

Twins?

Twins?

Oh, my God.

And so whenever we're walking past his house and he's out, Stephanie and I always go whisper to each other, twins.

What's the longest that you and Stephanie have gone

being apart?

Do you know?

Probably a month and a half.

Whoa, really?

Yeah.

Was that hard?

Yeah.

I mean,

I think I talked about it recently.

It's like, it's nice to check into a hotel and kind of take a breather, but I do, I miss her and I look forward to seeing her, but those kind of long stretches are really brutal.

Tell me about it.

Sometimes you're engaged at the start of it, and then by the end, you're just by yourself.

So

sometimes those long stretches are

too long of a stretch.

It's even longer.

Will you have like a, I know you're going to visit soon, but then will, will there be like a really long stretch you don't see her?

Yes.

um but luckily i'm gonna see her we're gonna be there for her birthday it'll be her 40th birthday

and um

and then she wraps on our anniversary but um but we're very happy that at least one of the celebratory days we'll be together yeah i know this is a dumb i like and also i know it's not cool to say

but will you meet angelina because that's oh yeah the movie is starring angelina jolie and it's a small cast.

It's like it is.

It's a small cast.

I don't know if I'll meet her.

I'm very interested to, if possible.

I just asked her to do a handsome question.

Oh, my God.

Can you imagine?

That would be huge.

Planet Earth would implode

if she did a podcast.

Has she done a podcast?

I don't think she's ever done a podcast.

She's not a podcast gal.

I saw her at at TIFF.

I saw her back as she left.

So I showed up.

You know when people...

You guys are tight.

Oh, we're tight.

Yeah.

Like, her back has seen me.

Okay.

But you know, when they do, like, they bring puppies to photo shoots?

And so people magazine.

I did not know that was a thing.

Oh, it's like

it's a thing.

Yeah.

So they'd set up a little studio and they had these rescue puppies.

And then all these celebrities are coming in.

And you, one at a time, you go and do it.

And I'm like, looking around.

There's James McAvoy.

And Tony knows everyone.

So I'm like, I'm in heaven.

And there's puppies.

She's like, look, there's Jennifer Lopez.

Hey, look.

It's me, Tony Colette.

There's Jennifer Lopez.

No.

Is that Jennifer Lopez?

Is that Jennifer Lopez?

Okay, so how come you actually, the Australian's getting better, but the British was so well if one gets better, the other one gets worse.

Oh, that's how it goes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So she, so, I, and Angelina's there, and then, and then me and Tony are like, we got a pee.

And so, and I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.

You're saying she was at Tiff?

Yes, at Tiff.

Okay, I'm back on track.

Go on.

And so I go up to one of the, you know, assistants working there.

I'm like, is there a bathroom here we could use?

And they're like, that one's, I think, out of order.

I'm like, I'm sure it's fun.

We open the door and there's a giant turd floating in this toilet.

I'm so sorry to bring the pod down.

This part was going to be about Angelina Jones.

Yeah, I thought you were going to walk in and

she was going to be there half-naked, changing.

Merchant Marie!

We were talking about Angelina Jolie's back, and then it somehow went to a turd.

Well, my point is, because then I go, is there another bathroom?

They go, well, there's this gross one in the back that's like, you know, off limits, but you can try that.

I go back, there's a turd in that one, too, and it's clogged.

Jay, why are you telling

a disgusting story?

And to say turd over and over, but the point is, it was just.

There is no point to this story, is there?

The point is that there's no point.

When does Angelina Jolie?

We just have to listen to disgusting information after you saw Angelina Jolie show.

When does Angelina Jolie show up?

The point is that we're in this small room with like more famous people than I've ever seen, and I'm freaking out.

And there's just turd toilets everywhere, and no one can pee.

And it's like, well, anyway, it wasn't a good story, but it was just funny.

It was a disgusting story.

It was tedious.

If you're into disgusting things,

land this plane.

Yeah.

Oh, my my God.

Did you see Angelina Jolie's front?

No.

I just saw

turds in toilets, Fortune.

Were you not listening?

I heard that, but I didn't know when we got back to Angelina Jolie.

It's not getting back to Angelina.

There was no reason to even mention the woman's back.

I have a question.

Because my point was

a point.

No, it was disgusting.

The point is it should be illegal to have a turdy toilet around

Angelina Jolie.

Okay, here's my question.

You both said it differently.

What is the answer?

Is it Jolie or Jolie?

I thought it was Jolie.

Jolie?

I've never heard Jolie because it's French.

Jolie.

I mean, look at that accent.

Jolie.

Thomas, what is it?

Is it, how does she say it?

Does she say Jolie or Jolie?

I bet it's Jolie because it's French.

Her mom was French.

But Fortune doesn't think it is.

She thinks it's just Jolie.

Jolie.

Well, that's it.

Jolie.

Jolie.

Jolie.

Jolie.

There's a video of her pronouncing her own name.

Do you want to watch it?

We're all.

What if it's really wrong?

It's like Jolly.

We're sitting on the edges of our seats.

What happened to my co-host?

I'm sitting on the edge of my seat.

Angelina.

Hi.

Jolie.

Yes.

The emphasis on the Joe.

Jolie.

Jolie.

Jolie.

Isn't that what I said?

She says Jolie.

She does?

What?

I got it wrong.

I was saying Jolie.

Wait, what is it?

I'm still confused.

I still hear Jolie.

Let's hear the closest one.

Let's hear it again.

Everyone, shut up.

Angelina.

Hi.

Jolie.

Yes.

The emphasis on the Joe.

Jolie.

Jolie.

Jolie.

Yes.

Tigs right.

Joe.

Jolie.

The interviewer said Joe.

Emphasis on the Joe.

And she says Joe.

Exactly.

This is what I'm saying is everybody says it differently.

And now here I might be meeting her within a few days.

She'll definitely go full name, too.

You're going to go.

What's up, Jolie?

And she'll be impressed.

Emphasis on the Joe.

Joe.

Jolie.

Well, this is a real mind effer.

I didn't.

I didn't anticipate that I've said it wrong.

And

I hate to dig in even deeper, but you were saying Abby's last name wrong, too.

I did?

Yes, ma'am.

Abby, what is it?

Wombach?

It's not Wombach?

It is not.

It's Wombok.

Wombok.

Look at Fortune's face.

Listen.

Fortune looks offended.

Yeah.

Wombok?

Yes.

Don't say it like that.

Wombok?

Yeah.

I think everyone...

Here's what I think.

Hear me out.

There's certain...

This better not be a turd toilet.

No, no turd toilet.

Okay.

There's certain people whose names have just, in the zygeist,

have become one thing.

Okay.

And most people call that person that thing.

I think that person then has a duty to relinquish what the original.

I think they have to give up.

And to be fair, you did just say duty.

You said this was not a turd talk.

And you did say everyone has a duty.

Do you slip to do them in there?

This is to, I think you have to just give in to it and go, this is how my name is pronounced.

I mean, I do.

I hate that.

All right, Feimster.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Feimster, Phoenix.

No, everyone calls you Feimster.

Little handsome,

Feimster.

No, Feimster, go on me.

Yeah.

Look, Miss.

And Jolie.

Abby Wombach.

Thomas, can you pull up up a video of Sony saying her name?

Okay, go ahead.

Everybody goes Abby Wombach.

My instinct is like, obviously, we owe everyone the respect of learning their names properly.

But then I think about old Timote Chalamay, and I think, can he just, can we say Timothy Chalamet?

Like, he maybe needs to just relinquish control.

Unfortunately, your head is blowing up now.

Wait, what?

Is his name not pronounced Timothy?

No, it's Timothy.

Yeah, no one wants that.

Well, no one wants that.

But there's other cultures in the world.

Like Mate, no, it's a French name.

No.

Summary.

No.

You have to go with what the culture wants.

They don't want your name pronounced that way.

With what American culture wants specifically.

Raven Simone.

We've known that.

She's now correcting everyone and says it's actually Simone.

And I'm like, well, I'll never not think of you as Raven Simone.

Oh, my God.

That's classic her.

Is it not?

You know?

I'm kidding.

I don't.

You don't know who that is.

Wait, did I tell you I'm on her?

I told you I'm on her text thread.

Are you?

What?

This is the weirdest thing in my life.

I am on a group text thread

with Raven Simone.

And it only happens in the holidays.

And there's not a number that I recognize.

I don't know how I ended up on her holiday thread.

I don't know if she knows I'm on it.

That's bizarre.

It is the funniest thing.

I'll turn to Stephanie.

I'll be like, look.

And it's like a yearly tradition.

Yes, Megan.

And Raven just is like wishing people a happy holiday.

Yes, yeah.

And everybody's chiming in like I'm part of the friend group or family.

Maybe you're on a lesbian text thread that you don't know about.

I know I am.

I'm telling you.

But maybe it's all a bunch of lesbians on there.

Then Tig would recognize some of the numbers.

Abby Wombok.

Okay, Thomas, did you find

Abby?

Here we go.

Settle in.

This is Abby Wombach, number 20 with the U.S.

Women's National Team.

Wombach.

It's sort of a soft ock.

Wombok.

Wombok.

Wombok.

Wombok.

This is Abby Wambok.

So are you saying that

Raven

Simone

previously, Thomas, this is the last time I'm going to do it.

Will you pull up a video of her saying her name?

Like, has she said it previously?

Yes.

Or she's just now.

Currently, she's saying everyone's been saying it wrong for years.

Right, but has she been saying it wrong?

No, I, oh, I don't know if back in the day, I would imagine back in the day she even said it, how it was supposed to be said.

You know, we really, we get into the important

stuff.

Exactly about the most nonsense.

If you want to know what's going on in the world, you got to know what it is.

If you want to know,

if you want hot button issues, if you want to know, I'm going to get a brownie.

Why are you having a brownie?

I know, dear, but we're in the middle of a punch.

I got really hungry.

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I have the afternoon and I need to eat something.

Yes, you do.

You need your afternoon snack time.

Thomas, any luck on Simone?

It's easier for people to just call me Raven Simone, but if you want to call me by my government name, all right,

it's Raven Simone.

Okay, well, it's good to get all this cleared up.

And it's good to know that it's Jolie.

Jolie.

And Simone

and Wombok.

Wombok.

Simone.

And Mai Martine.

My Martining.

Should we get to our question?

Yeah.

Hey, bud.

Today's question asker is an Emmy-winning and Tony-nominated actor who first became known for her role in the Goonies.

She starred in Raising Hope in The Real O'Neils and stars in the new HBO series about an an FBI team task.

Martha Plimpton is asking today's question.

Hi, I'm Martha Plimpton and here is my question for you all.

My question is,

now, regardless of whether or not you believe in astrology, how are you

most

like your astrological sign and

How are you least like your astrological sign?

I think those are that's a good

you know you're getting a good juxtaposition there.

Okay, great.

Have y'all seen that new show Task?

No, I can't wait though because I love Martha Plimpton.

I know it's pretty good.

It's from the guy who created Mayor of East Town.

Did you watch that show?

Yeah, I loved that show.

Mayor of East Town is so good.

Do you ever watch it, Tig?

No.

Tig.

I think that would be a series worth you going and watching.

I think you'd have a crush on Kate Winslet and that's so good.

Really?

She is so badass.

It's one of the best modern-day TV series.

It's really a limited series.

You know, my name, my kids call me, is Mayor.

It is Mayor, yeah.

Mayor of East Town.

Yes.

So I think you should watch it.

All right.

But that guy that created that one created this, so it still has that.

Is it Philly?

Is that the area?

Or Water?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Philadelphia.

Good with that case.

Pennsylvania.

Why just in that pocket of the country do they say warder?

I don't know.

Warder.

For water?

Yeah.

Warder.

They're saying warder?

That's correct.

Yes, sir.

Oh, boy.

This episode is really about phonetics and vowel sounds.

I would say it's, did you say bowel or vowel?

Voweling.

Because also bowel sounds.

The Goonies is also one of the best movies of all time.

It's so good.

So she just does good work.

And she just seems like someone I really get along with.

Like she just sort of doesn't give a shit and speaks her mind and is.

Yeah.

And she hated River Phoenix back in the day.

I know, and they were in a movie together that I loved.

What movie?

Mosquito Coast.

What star signs are you guys?

I'm Aries.

I'm a cancer.

Wow.

Okay.

What are you?

Taurus.

I don't know anything about Taurus and I don't know anything about Aries.

Okay.

So why don't we each tell each other what our signs are about?

And we might have to also tell Tig what her sign's about.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But you know what yours is, Fort?

Like, you know what it means.

I'm a cancer through and through.

Okay.

I know what you yelled at.

Cancers are they're emotional sensitive.

Yeah, we have a hard shell, like a crab.

That's our animal, is a crab.

So we have a hard exterior.

But we're soft on the inside.

And if you,

if you do us dirty, we retreat.

Oh, but if you make us mad, we snap you.

Oh, someone just rang my doorbell.

Um, cancers can be moody.

I would say that is where I'm not exactly like, I get my moody is more, I get quiet, right?

Um, but I'm not like a moody person.

Yeah, um, you don't strike me as like no, big swings of mood, yeah.

Yeah, so I differ there.

Um, but you, I like security, home life is important, Being at home, we like to get centered.

Okay.

Oh, Thomas just sent us a thing about zodiac signs and personality traits.

This says

cancers are emotionally intelligent.

I would say that.

I'm an empath.

I pick up on energy very strongly to the point where I can go in a room.

And if the energy is bad or off, I'll leave the room.

Some people call that a trauma response.

So deeply.

It says we're nurturing, caring, and resilient.

I would say those are true.

Negative attributes, this says that we're clingy,

moody, irritable, and hypersensitive.

I am.

I can be sensitive, yes.

Hyper sensitive?

Hypersensitive?

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

But sensitive I can be, but I'm not like a

I'm not like

you have to handle me with kid gloves type of sensitive.

Irritable?

irritable i'm not irritable bowels that yes sensitive bowels clingy i don't know i can definitely get needy but i'm not like a clingy person i'm good at reading the room if someone does not want to hang or want to be my friend or be i'm just like all right peace out yeah i would say

For the most part, I am pretty dead on cancer.

It's so funny that you're like, our animal is a crab.

Like, humans are so embarrassing that we're like, my animal's a crab, and mine's a bull, and mine's a rat.

Like, it's little teams.

So, what's to go next?

I'll go.

Okay, so I think about Taurus as like,

well,

because I was really premature.

I was supposed to be a Gemini, and I have some Gemini in my chart, but I feel like I'm

stubborn,

sensitive, loyal.

Well, am I loyal?

I can be.

when i what's i when i'm in i'm in it's not a good sign

you don't convince me about loyalty

i am i am a very loyal friend and like and when i fall i fall hard i'm romantic uh but i like my my home and to like yeah what is it crab now i'm sounding very crab like but what yeah but you're definitely not a cancer so i wonder what sensitive cancer marked uh i got really into my in astrology for a while and i would love to see that's where we differ Of course, should do.

This witchy stuff.

Yeah, you're like.

That's not me.

That's not a cancer.

Yeah.

Okay.

You're like,

what's the word?

Not like fanciful, you know?

Is that a Taurus thing or a May thing?

Oh, like whimsical.

Whimsical, that's the word.

Is that Taurus?

Yeah, maybe.

It says that the Taurus star sign is ruled by the persistent and determined bull.

And when it comes to your energy, the typical Taurus has two speeds.

They're either relaxed and contented or hyped up and ready to charge okay would you agree with that any of that yeah i think so that that checks out that tourist people will patiently assess whether something is worth the investment of time and resources then if the green light flashes it's all system go

until then slow and steady wins the tourist race Yeah, I think I, I think I, yeah, I'm trying to find this fucking this thing.

It says what they hate being rushed.

Oh, yeah, I hate being rushed

wasting money and you waste well plenty of money oh my synthesizers and the mouse synthesizer

well i like the i i'm uh

i i do like things and objects and my space you know uh oh it says y'all have deep and soulful eyes long and elegant and elegant necks and a delicate row on you too what

reading this thing it says i have a long and elegant neck just all toruses apparently.

Wow.

It says that you don't like dirty things, hotels, and mornings.

How do you feel?

I hate mornings.

Okay, so we've got some things here.

It's favorite things?

Photography.

You're into that.

Hey, the mountains.

You're into that.

Hey, what?

Great music.

Rich

slash gourmet.

Taurus is like great music.

Everyone else says music.

Satin sheets.

Satin sheets.

No way.

Well, I'm into linen now, but I for years was jersey cotton all the way.

But wow, but a lot of that does check out.

Yeah, this is so oddly specific.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What am I?

I'm Aries.

And I'll tell you one thing I know about myself because Stephanie always makes fun of me about this.

She calls it, quote unquote, yeah, this can wait.

Which means that

my personality, when I get an idea,

I move forward.

Like, we'll casually talk about something where I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm thinking about,

you know, doing this documentary about Andrea Gibson.

And then at the end of the day, when she comes home, I'm like, oh, by the way, I reached out to investors

and she'll go, yeah, this can wait.

And so it's kind of her sarcastic, like,

which we read somewhere about Aries, is that they

move,

they move quickly, right?

Yeah, yeah, you're like action,

all the error signs are like forward-moving.

Yeah, here's what it says: the thing Thomas said: you're brave, willful, productive, enterprising, humanitarian, and assertive.

Yeah, that's pretty spot-on, right?

That checks out, yeah.

Negative attributes,

moody,

impulsive, impatient, rude.

Okay, let me go through those one by one.

What was the first one?

Moody.

Moody.

Yeah,

I am not a moody person unless I'm completely in denial.

I don't feel like I'm not somebody that, where I'm like, don't talk to me till I've had my coffee.

I just feel like I'm

pretty much like this.

And then what's the next one?

Impulsive?

Are you

just in just trying to get things done?

Yeah, yeah.

It would be impulsive to someone who hasn't been in your head and you've gone through the whole thinking process.

So you're like, okay, I'm doing this now.

But to someone else, they might be like, what?

Where'd that come from?

Yeah.

I think I could have seen myself as more impulsive as a kid, but I feel like that's also maybe a trait of a kid.

But yeah, I think things through.

I feel like I'm

kind of measured in ways.

So I don't, I guess I don't fully kind of.

Sabrina jalees is an aries friend of the pod and she's very sort of

yeah especially with her family it's like this is my family and we're making decisions and we're gonna build this life and very like and makes things happen and like pulls the trigger on decisions like that

and what is what is my next one impatient or rude

i don't think i'm impatient i certainly get challenged in moments i don't know i'm very curious i i think because i've known thomas so long would you say i seem impatient, Thomas?

And I know hard feelings, if

you save space.

Impatient's not that negative, though.

No, that's no, but either way, I just don't see myself as impatient.

But if so, I'm just curious to hear.

When I'm driving on the highway, you do tell me to drive faster sometimes.

Okay.

Oh, you're a speed demon.

Okay.

But like, overall, I'd say you're not someone who's so eager to like, you know, move on to the next thing or rush through things.

So I don't know.

It's interesting.

And then rude.

I don't think I'm rude.

I know that I have

a certain delivery that people sometimes don't get.

A dryness.

Yeah, a dryness where people are like, God, I can't believe she said that to that person.

And it's like, oh, I was kidding, but if it didn't land, then it's not funny.

But

but yeah, and I think at times,

you know, like anybody who is in the public eye, like say you're sitting and having dinner with your family or something, and somebody's like coming up and talking to you when you're with your family, or sometimes I'm a little like, uh, not right now, you know.

I would say it's it's not even

it's not it's it's more like you don't have the people pleasing quality.

Like you're not gonna sort of fill every silence and like I, you're like,

yeah, you like right now.

Yeah.

But I think also when I'm with my family, I don't like my kids seeing me in a particular light of

like of fame or yeah, like I just, I don't, I don't like

for them to see any of that.

Of course they see elements of that, but I just, it's not my favorite.

So I try and kind of quickly get out of that so that we can just kind of

do our family thing.

Can I really quickly look up your astrology, your Mayan astrological?

Because each one comes with a, with a poem.

You get your little sign, and then

yeah, look it up.

It also says you're open and honest.

I would agree with that.

I'd agree with that.

Yeah.

So what's your day, month, and year of your birth, Tig?

March 24th, 1971.

So Tig's a fire sign.

I'm a water sign.

And what's Taurus?

Earth sign.

Wow.

I would say those are all pretty accurate.

Does it say though, Fortune, what bed sheets I like or anything like that?

Oh, let me see.

That's a good question.

Oh, my God.

Wait.

Tig, this is really good.

Oh,

you are a white spectral dog.

Yes, and you're in the earth family of polar.

And this is your poem.

Okay.

So you're a white spectral dog.

It's just be open-minded and see if this poem resonates with you.

Okay.

I dissolve in order to love.

Releasing loyalty, I seal the process of heart with the spectral tone of liberation.

I'm guided by my own power doubled.

Tig, I'm also guided by my own power doubled.

Oh, look at that.

Yeah, okay.

Two against one.

Fortune.

What's your birthday again?

July 1st, 1980.

July is while you're looking that up, I'm going to tell Tig what this, the one that said your favorite sheets does not have that on Tigs, but your favorite things, competitive games, new clothes, road trips, and fast red cars.

Wait a second, debate.

Wait, what was the last thing?

Debating,

expressing themselves through stunning verbal and physical feats.

What you hate, sharing their toys, being ignored, cramped spaces,

losing, and the word no.

wow i gotta look up i have to look up mine you yeah let's hear about your bed sheets so you love fast red cars oh you know i do

i don't even care about cars you literally never share your gi joe with me

may did you find that one thing oh yeah so okay fortune this is you okay okay you're a yellow spectral seed

I dissolve in order to target, releasing awareness, I seal the input of flowering with the spectral tone of liberation.

I'm guided by my own power double.

So, you're yellow spectral seed.

What does that mean?

Well, we don't know.

That's a great.

It's a poem.

You're not supposed to really understand.

You're just supposed to go, oh, okay.

I'll send it to you and then you mull it over, see if it speaks to you.

I'm a red magnetic moon, and I really liked that.

And so I basically latched onto it.

I can't believe how much

I related to what was said about me until the specifics came up of like race cars and

this is this one site that thinks may love satin sheets.

But I sort of get the energy of satin sheets, you know.

I'm trying to look up cancer.

I want to know the specifics.

Yeah, we want to know what bed sheets you like.

Why is it not counting?

Oh, here it is.

You like 10 count, right?

Yes.

It says, my favorite things are gourmet meals.

I do love that.

Intramural sports.

Do love that.

Hosting parties.

I'd rather go to someone else's party.

Working with kids.

I like kids, but it's not like that's my thing.

Museums and art galleries.

I like them, but again, not like the thing I'm looking for.

What they hate, tacky clothes.

Could care less about that.

Frozen dinners.

Public speaking.

Obviously, that's not true.

Being Being rushed and paying full price.

What?

You did bring a gift card to a restaurant, didn't you?

Famously, I did, but I spend money all the time.

Yeah, this is not resonating.

No, this is not.

Yeah, public speaking.

Where you'll find them shopping for antiques and rare finds.

Oh, Fortune's probably running late from the antique shop.

We'll have to postpone

handsome.

but so when you have like through your life have you are you someone who like read the horoscope in the newspaper and like you know ascribe meaning to it like well

clearly not but yeah sometimes every every now and then i'll make that's a sign yeah well when i was little i always would read the

the cartoons, the funnies in the newspaper.

And I would also read my horoscope, but just kind of out of curiosity, but I didn't, I wasn't like, oh my gosh.

Yeah.

Unbelievable news this morning.

Mm-hmm.

My moon is rising or whatever.

It just seems like, like, online, all the astrology accounts I follow, of which there are many, it seems like there's always something massive happening astrologically.

Like every day, it's like, guys, today is it portal day because it's, we're, we are never going to have this blood, this blood moon again.

And it's like, it's always something.

And it feels like Mercury is constantly in retrograde.

Oh, constantly in Mercury.

I hear you girls in retrograde again wasn't it just exactly I do I do feel

as much as I don't necessarily connect to all that I do feel curious and I love hearing about it and when people are really knowledgeable yeah I love hearing what they have to say

people like hearing about themselves too right like people are like oh you're like this you're like yeah

but it's also it's fun to hear about you and fortune.

Like, it's all of it is so fun to kind of laugh and talk about.

It's just connecting.

And I have noticed that, like, most of the people I've been in love with in my life have been born between like

mid-August and the end of November.

That's like the window.

Yeah.

I do, I do, like, um, in my dating days,

um, would always look up whoever it was I was going out with or like what what their sign was.

I was always, and I would look up compatibility and stuff like that.

I do find that stuff very interesting.

Yeah, it is.

It's fun.

There's an app called CoStar that I'll add you guys on.

It gives you a daily update on your friendship with that person.

Like, today you and Tig are struggling with communication, but you know, hang in there.

And it's usually very accurate.

Really?

Yeah.

Interesting.

I've probably mentioned this already, but when Stephanie and I, she's very into that.

And when we first got together, she brought over a book that tells you,

I guess.

Yes.

Yeah.

Like the birthday book or something.

And it tells you all your compatibility.

And yeah.

Yeah.

And so she was reading that to me.

And when she finished reading it, I was asleep.

No way.

Are you serious?

And she was like, and the person does this and that, and blah, blah, blah.

And then she looks over and she's like, oh my God.

And you were like, and you were like, honk shoo, honk shoo, honk shoo.

So, but I think it's fun.

Like when

we had this question from Martha, it was like, let's do that.

That sounds really interesting and fun.

Should we hear Martha's answer?

Oh, yes.

Yes, indeed.

Wait, can I, I don't know, I don't know Martha's birthday or anything.

Can I, should we guess her sign?

Okay, I'm going to guess that Martha is a

Capricorn.

Martha seems like a fire sign to me.

Okay, is that like Capricorn, you think?

I have no idea.

Scorpio, maybe.

I don't know.

Oh, she could be a Scorpio.

Let's go.

I've thought of a sign that I've heard of.

Yeah.

The first that came to my mind.

Or a Leo.

Nah, she's a Pisces.

We've said most of the signs.

Leo, I'm going to say Leo or Scorpio.

It's a Pisces.

I'm going to go Capricorn just to be different.

Okay.

Let's hear it.

No, she's not a Capricorn.

No, come on.

Because she's a Pisces.

She's a Virgo.

Take Sam Pisces.

I'm giving myself two options.

I'm going Libra.

Okay.

Oh, yeah, that's a good guess.

No, it's not because she's a Pisces.

What is it, Thomas?

I'll play the clip.

I think for me,

I'm a Scorpio.

Oh.

And

you know, this means I automatically have a reputation among people for being

aggressive

and

crazy, maybe a little bit demonic, maybe a little bit toxic,

and also sexually voracious.

And,

you know, like, like I will rip a man's head off after I have sex with him or something like that.

Wow.

So we can, I will say that I am least like

the perception of my astrological sign in that I will not rip a man's head off after having sex with him.

I will likely just express an uh a

a level of boredom.

Oh,

okay.

At least that's been my experience.

And just, you know, say, you know what, you know what?

Let's not.

Let's just not.

How about that?

Let's just not.

That's pretty cool.

How I most like my

astrological sign is that I am extremely, I'm extremely,

loyalty means a lot to me.

And

dishonesty or disloyalty is really, I don't like it at all.

And I will stick with a thing, I will, you know, a thing or a person or I will stick with it.

And, you know, no matter how rough or tough it gets, but then like once.

Once I've learned my lesson, then forget it.

It's decisions made.

It's over.

They're out of my life.

I have no desire or need to ever speak with them again.

It doesn't matter how close we were.

It doesn't matter.

Nothing matters.

If they have in any way betrayed me, they're out.

So

I don't know how funny or amusing this is.

I may have just revealed way more about myself than I've ever intended to with this question.

But yeah, anyway, I'm hoping you guys can lighten this subject up a little bit because I'm feeling like I really brought it down.

I thought that was interesting.

Obsessed with, imagine sleeping with someone, and afterwards they go, can we not?

Can we just not?

That was great.

Yeah, that was one of the most thorough responses,

not just on this podcast, but I think ever, that anyone has ever given.

Scorpios are famously known for being verocious in the bedroom.

Yeah.

How do you know this?

I've looked at people's astrology over the years.

Okay.

And they are famously known.

And that's what you are looking for?

No, I'm not looking for anything from any sign.

I just see different traits of different signs, and I do know that's one of their traits.

No, you're looking for a sign.

I dated somebody that blamed everything on me being an Aries.

Oh, my God.

That would drive me insane.

And it was such an an unfair argument.

And I used to say, so you're saying that if I was just born one day sooner, it all would be your fault?

Well, this was really fun.

This was truly fun.

Because at first I was like, huh, talk about our signs.

I don't know much about, so it was nice to read through and learn more about you both and also be like, that's not you.

Yeah.

And learn about your love of fast red cars

i'm ordering satin sheets although it isn't true about me thomas is did say that i'm like hey thomas can you go a little faster but to be fair he you are a slow driver thomas

wait till we all get inside his head and we're controlling his body and then we're gonna drive as fast as we want and i have i've spent many hours in a car with thomas um and he's a great person to be on a road trip with i do love a road trip yeah i love a road trip yeah

well always a pleasure.

What do you guys have coming up?

I have a show on October 11th, Salt Lake City, Utah,

the Equality Utah Allies Gala.

And then October 17th, I'll be at Largo right here in Los Angeles, working on some new material.

And

also, at this point, the morning show is out on Apple.

And

yeah, go to tignotaro.com for the rest of my tour dates.

Yeah, I'm on tour too.

October 11th in Boston, the 18th in Atlanta.

November is Chicago, San Jose, and Fresno, California.

Then I got Charlotte, North Carolina,

and then St.

Petersburg, Florida, and Orlando.

And then I rescheduled some dates that are happening at the beginning of the year.

So those are on my website.

When this episode airs, my show, Wayward, is out on Netflix.

So stream that, please.

October 17th, I'm at the Lyric Theater in LA.

And

I still got my animal book for sale for Doctors Without Borders.

If you go to my Instagram, you can click it.

And I just got more in stock.

My animal paintings, there's a hat and a tote bag

and some postcards.

So get on that.

And share an episode.

If you like this episode, share it with a friend, family member, build the handsome community.

And subscribe, rate, review.

And also, we have a YouTube page that you can also subscribe to.

And until next time, I say

keep it in handsome.

Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feemster.

The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willette.

Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsome pod.

What a podcast!

What a podcast.

That was a headgun podcast.

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