Patreon Preview #314: We Broke the Internet

Is this a main feed?

It's Patreon.

Patreon.

We're going to do a state series if that's okay, but hold on.

My internet is acting a little strange.

Okay.

Just let us know when you have it.

Wait.

Oh, your internet's acting strange, so it's acting completely normal, like internet is supposed to act.

Damn.

All right.

Well, actually, Casey, can you?

And your recording's still fine, though, right?

Yeah, my recording's still fine.

Can I screen share with you?

Because my screen is starting to do this like warped thing.

Okay.

Yeah.

It's like starting to spin.

Yeah.

Warped?

Good Charlotte.

Nine-inch nails.

The misfits.

The used.

The Andrew WK.

That's weird.

What?

No, just, I've never seen that.

What Al and I were saying?

No, what you guys were saying was actually awesome and cool.

Well, you love Silver Chair, Casey.

Aaron,

are you sure your computer is behaving all right?

Yeah, it was acting normal like a minute ago, and then I logged on and normal.

So normal for Aaron, so it was fucked up and crazy.

You already made this joke, JPC.

Did I?

So it will be like, it like started as this little like sort of whirlpool in the middle of my screen, and it's getting bigger.

So I just don't know.

Should I restart or you said a whirlpool?

I don't know what I said.

Are you feeling like any sort of,

and I'm not trying to do a bit, Are you feeling like a gravitational pull from the Whirlpool?

Yeah, I feel like sort of I'm falling forward into it.

It's like.

Okay, I just saw your mouse cursor got sucked into the hole.

That's not good.

In the center of your screen.

What?

Wait, wait, hold on.

What the fuck is happening?

Whoa.

What is this?

Is this a princess?

I mean, look at the screen share, KPC world.

Oh, oh, oh, whoa.

Holy shit.

Erin just got sucked into the internet.

Erin just got sucked into her internet.

convenient excuse

adult yeah there's only one thing we have to do we have to go in after us casey you're our lifeline when we hit i don't know 50 minutes pull us out all right

tie this rope around your waist all right and

i forgot to tether it to something else

Okay, Casey, so now it's Doopers Rescue Mission.

Adel, I got to get Adel out, and I also have to get that rope because that's an expensive rope.

I guess three person.

I'll do Aaron.

Aaron will be the the third if I have time.

All right, Casey, I'm going in.

Internet helmet, goggles on, Tron motorcycle.

Casey, don't touch my Tron motorcycle while I'm gone.

I know you want to ride that thing.

I know you want to ride that thing, motherfucker.

I'm going after my friends.

Pull us out when we get, what do we think?

48-ish minutes from now?

Yeah, yeah, 45.

And it might be one of those things where it's like, it's like 45 for you, but like for us, it like feels like

way longer.

Long time time one, yeah, okay.

And do you check the odometer on your motorcycle, by the way?

Your Tron motorcycle, yeah, yeah, it's like one of the only things I do check in tire pressure.

Okay, cool, yeah, I'll have to do a fair spieler.

All right, bye.

All right, see you, man.

Welcome.

I just hit the G on the Google so hard in my head.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Oh, oh, Aaron, I landed right on you.

Ow!

Ow!

Oh, sorry, I'll move.

I'll move.

Oh, you brought the rope, the super expensive rope.

Uh, yeah, and it's gonna save us.

Are we on top of the Google

raindrops?

On kittens and puppies and prizes.

Drifting down on an umbrella to GPC is floating down to the Google logo on an umbrella.

Oh, he landed so hard, though.

Why float down on an umbrella if you're gonna land so hard on your ankles?

That's fun.

It's just me having fun, me being a goof.

You guys,

we just got sucked into the internet, I think.

Whoa.

Oh, boy.

Wait, did I get sucked in and you guys came down to save me?

Blink, blink, blink, blink.

Yes, Rope.

I mean, Aaron.

Okay,

that's really sweet, guys.

That actually means a lot to me that you came down here.

Yeah, I think

we're absolutely here to save you, but I've never been sucked into the internet before, so maybe we just go into this Google search bar, which is a little below us here.

Let me just get down to the box and maybe I'll just type in

home, H-O-M-E.

And I'll hit enter and whoa, okay, a lot of results flying by us here.

Zillow.

Ooh.

Wizard of Oz.

Okay.

You have to type minus AI or you're just going to get all the AI spam at it as well.

Okay.

I actually don't think that works anymore.

I also saw that if you put fucking in every search result, they won't put AI in there because

the AI can't fuck.

Oh, great tip.

It makes the AI scared.

I don't know if it's true.

I I haven't Googled something since I heard that.

It's been a couple of days.

Okay, actually, let me just sort of slip into this Zillow website.

Welcome.

You guys come here.

Okay.

Oh, hey.

Oh.

Whoa.

Whoa, what the hell?

This is gorgeous property.

Is this an old high school?

Yeah, this is an old high school.

What if we turned it into like a cool millennial apartment?

Yeah, $119,000 Munster, Indiana.

What could go wrong?

I'm guessing the electric and the water and

all of the stuff.

Yeah, I'm sure it's fine.

Yeah,

the location is just listed as wrong.

What about this house?

This place is a big mansion on a hill.

$300,000 for this.

I mean, that's still pricey, but pretty reasonable for five bedrooms.

Yeah, I guess a hill, it's hard to get up and down.

Yes.

Is it a paved hill?

No.

no where's the hill i guess my first question's got to be where's the hill this this this is what they don't tell you when you're on these home search websites is that a lot of times they'll put a home on here oh home on a hill that's fine and then you'll like look and you'll be like okay

that's not a hill that's at that's a mountain that is at least a mountain

guys i'm in the house and there's blood on the wall Oh, that's why it's so cheap.

Murder.

A murder happened.

Well, we don't know if it's a murder.

The house could bleed.

No, I'm

that's not good.

That's not better.

Favorite Dean Coots.

It's not

better.

It's not worse.

CBC, read me the stats.

Read me the stats of the house.

Okay.

It said, well, this is interesting.

And you said that this was a five-bedroom?

Five-bedroom.

Oh, you know what, Aaron?

I think what you were reading was bathroom.

It's a five-bathroom.

No bedroom?

No, it says

it's got a half-bed.

I've never seen a half-bedroom.

I don't know what's going on.

Like a Murphy bed?

Is it a half-bed or half-bedroom?

Because a Murphy bed's like a half-bed.

It says five bathrooms, half-bedroom.

Okay, I'm seeing it, and it seems like a monster sort of tore one of the bedrooms apart.

Got it.

Something bad happened here, you guys.

Okay, and I've never seen this listed, but maybe this is a typo, but it says it's a guts rehab.

I don't know why.

Usually they say gut.

They say gut, like to gut out, but like guts makes me think.

Okay, let me type in back to the search bar URL here.

Put in guts, enter.

Oh, oh, whoa.

Welcome.

Holy shit, the three of us are on Nickelodeon guts.

The 1990s game show.

Whoa.

Adult, wait, you're using the Wayback Machine.

This is, this is, this is an archived web page.

This isn't even a current web page.

Whoa, at some point, I need to visit my old Geo Cities webpage from what I was a freshman in high school.

Can we just skip my live journal if we find it?

Can we just sort of skip over it?

No, we gotta.

We're gonna have to figure out how to get into those things.

Those things sound fun to be in.

Oh, this website kind of makes me feel nauseous.

It's like so archaic and rudimentary.

Like it's sort of like glitching a lot.

I think we gotta crawl out of here.

Well, no, no, no, guys, guys, guys, don't don't look now.

Don't make any sudden moves, but what?

I believe, I believe that is the aggro crag.

I want a piece of it.

I want a piece of aggro crag.

The aggro crag coming over to us.

Okay, be cool.

Be cool.

Be cool.

When I was a kid, all I wanted was a piece of the aggro crag.

Hey, crack.

Hey, hi.

Hi.

Hey, what's up?

Not much.

How are you, sir?

Sir?

Come on.

Sir's my dad's name.

I never had cable, but my friends know who you are, and that's cool.

We're from the future, and

we could buy you on eBay.

I know you don't know what that is.

We can buy you on eBay for probably 50 bucks nowadays, I think.

50 bucks?

That's like 200 bucks.

Well, yeah, I guess now it is, but yeah, yeah.

I don't know what now is.

I'm the aggro crag.

How is the British lady who is kind of a referee or something?

Oh, Adol, don't don't ask the aggro crack about that.

I think that they had a pretty nasty breakup.

Whoa, but maybe not yet, right?

No, we're still good.

Oh, aggro crag.

We're still in love.

Yeah, we're deeply...

Sorry about what?

We're deeply in love.

Yeah.

Well.

Guys, should we tell him about 9-11?

No, right?

No,

should he fully triaging people?

One, two, three, four, hate riddle riddles clue crew.

Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven-day trial at patreon.com/slash hayriddle riddle.