Patreon Preview #347: King Mumbles pt. 5 w/ Allison Reese

Speaker 2 Whoa, guys, that recording was crazy. We played all sorts of characters and my brain's like, wee whoa, wee whoa, wow, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 2 I need to find a way to unwind what to do, what to do, what to do.

Speaker 1 Aaron, you are not wrong. That last recording that we did for the podcast, Hey, Riddle, Riddle, was a doozy.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I sort of, I sort of like tweaked my back playing Kung Fu Shrimp.
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Speaker 1 Don't just take it from us. Take it from

Speaker 1 what is it, kung fu shrimp? Hello, I'm Kung Fu Shrimp. Everyone,

Speaker 1 let's

Speaker 1 chop these boards.

Speaker 2 Addle, you're gonna really hurt yourself.

Speaker 1 The surf boards, DD,

Speaker 1 oh, he's back. Oh, he's back.

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Speaker 1 oh man you guys

Speaker 2 you know what this has the vibe of and like correct me if i'm wrong this sort of feels like we thought this would be a month and it's actually a month and a week Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 For sure. A month and a week.
Yeah, a month and a week.

Speaker 2 Turned into five weeks. Like when we've committed to this, we thought it was four, and it's actually five.

Speaker 1 Well, here's the thing, Aaron. Because, like, we don't know how we got here, but it might be one of those things where, like, a minute has passed in our world.
But, like, you know, like

Speaker 1 Tarz, you know.

Speaker 2 What are you trying to say?

Speaker 1 Tarz. Oh, Cape Planchette.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. Tars.
Erin Tars. I don't know what you're trying to say.
You haven't seen Tarz?

Speaker 1 She's a conductor.

Speaker 2 Oh, I saw the Kate Planchette movie.

Speaker 1 No, there wasn't

Speaker 1 a band. What are you talking about, Jarn? There was a name for that movie.

Speaker 1 No, not Lydia Tarz.

Speaker 2 I was thinking of The Chronicles of Narnia.

Speaker 1 What's the movie that's like Inception but in Space?

Speaker 1 Star Wars.

Speaker 1 Inception but in space. It's Christopher Nolan, and it's like Inception, but it's like in space.

Speaker 1 Timothy Salvador.

Speaker 1 I actually only know that movie as Tarz, which is my favorite character from that movie. Oh, it's a little robot.

Speaker 2 That's way too long of a walk for us to do that.

Speaker 1 You're trying to say Narnia.

Speaker 2 They go into Narnia, they're kings for like 80 years, and then they come out. It's only been five minutes.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, Tarz wasn't as Christian, but whatever you want to do.

Speaker 1 Look, why do we do this? Let's find King Mumbles.

Speaker 1 Let's, you know, beg of him our favors or whatever we need to do, and let's get the fuck back home. Okay.
Was the robot named Tarz because it's

Speaker 1 an anagram of star?

Speaker 1 I think it's like one of those things where it's like an initialism and it's like TARS, like Turbo Automated Robot System or something, you know, something like that. You know?

Speaker 2 That movie stressed me out.

Speaker 1 And the name might not be TARS.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Have we considered that?

Speaker 2 Well, you came in really hot and I just follow whoever's the most confident in the room. That's why I'm susceptible to cults.

Speaker 1 That's how the robot ended up being named TARS.

Speaker 2 Exactly. Is it a safe space to say that Interstellar kind of stressed me out? Is this...

Speaker 2 Am I allowed to say that?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Okay.
Oh, yeah. Aaron, you said Mrs.
Doubtfire stressed you out. Well, yeah.
And Brave Little Toaster stressed you out.

Speaker 2 Okay, that is a horror movie.

Speaker 1 It might be a movie issue with you, Aaron. Let's find King Mumbles.

Speaker 2 Fine. Fine.

Speaker 1 Should we just open up pantries until we or? Wait, I got it.

Speaker 2 King Mumbles says, What?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Whoa. What? It worked.
Holy shit.

Speaker 3 Who did that?

Speaker 1 Larco!

Speaker 3 King Mumbles.

Speaker 1 It worked again. Yeah, Aaron.
Marco Polo isn't invented yet. Okay, right, okay.
I think King Mumbles' first name might be Marco.

Speaker 1 Maybe that. Maybe that.

Speaker 1 Ah.

Speaker 1 Fare thee well.

Speaker 2 Oh, already saying goodbye to us.

Speaker 1 Very well.

Speaker 3 Very well.

Speaker 3 King Mumbles at your service.

Speaker 1 Interesting. King at my service.

Speaker 1 Green Marco.

Speaker 2 Marco is a guy who's always sort of lost in a pool. He sort of can't make his way around a pool.

Speaker 3 Ah, is that like the man we drowned in the moat last week?

Speaker 1 Oh, is that him? Is that Marco?

Speaker 1 Maybe, yeah.

Speaker 3 You're saying no.

Speaker 2 Oh, we just

Speaker 1 trying to reach my bread pantry

Speaker 3 because he was hungry and was babbling on about not feeding the peasants of the land. And I said, drown him in the moat!

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 that's like a les mis situation.

Speaker 2 He tried to steal.

Speaker 3 Who's les miz?

Speaker 1 Huh.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 in fact, he mumbles. Um, les miz is short for les miserables, uh, which means the miserables.

Speaker 1 And we are actually kind of a group of miserables, um, who

Speaker 1 is coming to you, hat in hand, hand on bended knee, hat on bended hand. What? To beg of you a favor of your majesty.
How am I doing this? I'm trying to like

Speaker 3 a favor of your majesty, of me, of I can be of service to you.

Speaker 3 This is a fun little roleplay.

Speaker 1 Let's see where it goes.

Speaker 1 And if it needs to be like a quid pro quo situation, we're like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 We can do favor for favor. We can do a three for

Speaker 3 Okay, so you want a three-for-one. What bedroom? Mine or

Speaker 1 guest rooms?

Speaker 2 Oh, we actually already tried that and almost ruined our friendship. So

Speaker 2 better steer quickly.

Speaker 1 It does get sticky.

Speaker 1 King Charles is fun.

Speaker 1 Well, then, thank you.

Speaker 3 I try to be. You know, people always say the king's out of touch, the king's keeping all our bread.
And I'm like, I'm just kind of a fun guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're a party king.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 2 You're affable. I would have a beer with you.

Speaker 1 You're fun.

Speaker 3 Beer. Oh, beer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Aaron, I'm noticing that King Mumbles has kind of like a goblet with like a, it looks like a half loaf of bread kind of sticking out. It seems like bread is more.
It's like big into bread. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love bread.

Speaker 3 I heard you mention bread as I zoned out. Bread is so good.
There are all kinds. Did you know this?

Speaker 1 Beer is kind of,

Speaker 1 beer, where we're from, is kind of like liquid bread. Liquid bread, right?

Speaker 3 mead.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. Ah, mead.
Okay, so you like a mead? They have mead.

Speaker 3 I'll take a mead. Okay.

Speaker 3 Anybody else want a mead? Would you like a mead?

Speaker 1 I'll take a

Speaker 1 mead. Two meads? Three meads? You can't.

Speaker 1 Do you have in a mead? Is that a crazy thing to ask here? Is that crazy to ask if they have in a mead?

Speaker 3 NA mead.

Speaker 3 NA mead. You know what? I'll ask, and if they can't provide it, I'll behead them.

Speaker 1 Servants! Oh, no. Servants! Oh, hey, you know what? Hey, you know what?

Speaker 1 Yes, my king.

Speaker 3 Ah, yes. I need three meads.

Speaker 1 Three meads?

Speaker 3 Four meads. Four meads? I almost forgot myself.

Speaker 1 Four meads.

Speaker 3 Two. Three of them.

Speaker 1 Goodness.

Speaker 3 Three of them. No.

Speaker 3 Three of them good. Now, the third one.
I need you to provide something called an NA mead. Can you do that?

Speaker 3 If you cannot, I will kill you.

Speaker 2 You're about to have a little blood on your hands, buddy.

Speaker 1 No, we're good. We're good.
We're good. We're good.
Am I going to have to kill you?

Speaker 1 Just not. Nope.
Just not. Just not.
Just not.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 And remember, I did kill a guy last week in the moat. So run along, get us our meat.

Speaker 1 Marco, yes, Marco.

Speaker 1 Oh, so his name was Marco.

Speaker 1 I believe so.

Speaker 3 I believe so. Which is, you know, when you said Marco, I said, oh, no, another ghost.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 Oh, is the castle filled with ghosts? That's pretty. Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes. They're actually.

Speaker 3 I think they're my best friends.

Speaker 1 Awww.

Speaker 1 That's so cute. That's cute? Yeah.

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We're all out of the ordinary. But don't take it from them.
Take it from me, Cousin Kringle.

Speaker 1 That's fun. That's fun.

Speaker 2 Probably should have done it at the beginning, though, right?

Speaker 1 Huh? Stay on that side of the street. Oh, stay over there.
Do you need me to start the act? No, stay there.

Speaker 2 Everybody say thank you, Miss Erin.

Speaker 1 I thanked you guys in the other ones.

Speaker 2 Not getting thanked.

Speaker 3 Well, you you know, everyone else works for me or is scared of me, but the ghosts, they really, they really tell me how it is, you know. They're my best friends.

Speaker 2 They shoot it straight, yeah. As you can see, we're trying to butter up King Mumble, so it's cute.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 uh,

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 that's cute, that a lot of the people that you have put to death

Speaker 1 kind of are now your friends.

Speaker 1 Is that kind of what we think is cute about it? Well, I was thinking more like

Speaker 1 I guess I'm thinking of like Christina Ricci and Casper. Like

Speaker 1 she's not a ghost.

Speaker 2 No, you're right. I see what you're saying.

Speaker 1 But some people say that Casper is Richie Rich.

Speaker 1 If that makes sense.

Speaker 2 I don't remember that discourse. I do know I had a huge crush on Casper.

Speaker 1 Hmm. On Casper?

Speaker 2 I guess the kid that played Casper when he was a human.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. King Bumbles, are the ghosts that are your friends?

Speaker 1 Are they friendly?

Speaker 3 Friendly?

Speaker 3 Some of them are friendly. Some of them are really, really...
They like to shoot, what is it from the hip? They really tell me how it is. And then there's a faction that are my family members and

Speaker 1 I don't even want to get it.

Speaker 3 Red flag, I don't even want to get into it. But

Speaker 3 you know,

Speaker 1 they're a lot.

Speaker 3 I like them. They're funny.
They have things to say. They tell me when my outfit is bad.
You know.

Speaker 1 These sound gig members, these sound more like hecklers, like hecklers. Well, yeah, just like ghosts that comment about your outfit.
Like, that sounds

Speaker 1 because these are all, are these all the spirits of those that you have put to death? Rightfully,

Speaker 3 not all, not all, but they are there.

Speaker 3 There are other ghosts, you know, ghosts who are servants from the past, and they have no real, what am I going to do to them if they say

Speaker 1 excuse me, King? That

Speaker 3 makes your butt look fat. I'm not going to, what am I going to do?

Speaker 1 And King, can I just say, your chainmail made of croutons looks

Speaker 1 so tasty.

Speaker 2 And what small feet you have, sir.

Speaker 1 And the birds around you are going nuts.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 I don't think I've ever seen this many like indoor birds. And they kind of have like, you're kind of giving them the vibe that they're like...

Speaker 1 Cinderella birds that are like helping dress you and stuff, but they're kind of acting like I want to say just like beach seagulls. You're just kind of going crazy for the crew dogs.

Speaker 1 One, two, three, four, hate Ridgel Riddles Clue Crew.

Speaker 1 Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven-day trial at patreon.com slash hayriddle riddle.

Speaker 5 What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris.

Speaker 6 And Hannah Simone.

Speaker 5 And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl Rewatch podcast now on Headgum. Now, here's the thing.
Every single week we chat about an episode of New Girl and we really get into it.

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