IMO Live: Choose Yourself with Natasha Rothwell

I think in my 20s, I thought that romantic love was more important than any other kind of love-platonic, fraternal, familial.

While it's something that I want, I know it has to match this amazing life that I've worked so hard to build.

And

you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Remember that point?

Would anybody be upset if we introduced you to somebody?

What if you What's he doing?

Introduce me.

God is good.

God is good.

This episode is brought to you by Rivian and Progressive Insurance.

Well, hey y'all.

See, this is really like being at home, being here in Martha's Vineyard.

It is.

Well, welcome, my big brother, Craig Robinson, to the happiest place on the planet,

Martha's Vineyard.

If I had known us like this, I'd have been here before sooner.

I've been trying to get you to adjust your attitude and get here more regularly.

Wow.

Appreciate you all.

Thank you very much.

Yeah, and to Stephanie and Floyd and all the team at the film festival.

You all thank thank you for putting this together.

When we started IMO, you know, when I come to the venue, I don't like to work.

But I thought there's no way we could do this and be doing lives and not bring it here to my favorite place on the planet.

So thank you all for

coming out and to the Film Festival team.

How you doing?

I'm good.

How are you?

You're looking.

snazzy.

Yeah, well, I'm going to talk about my snazz in a minute.

Okay.

All right.

You're quite pleased with yourself.

I appreciate my sister because whenever we come out here, she sort of lets me run free.

Because

if I try and go places with her, we end up not being able to go anywhere.

Oh, poor you.

So she let me drive her car.

Because, y'all, I can drive here on the vineyard.

I'm free.

I swear here.

So, you know, you all have heard,

for those of you who have heard the podcast, you know, we were gifted Rivians.

You didn't know that.

It's pretty nice.

It makes it all worthwhile, doesn't it?

She let me drive hers around the island, and I got to take some pictures.

And,

you know, I might have to adjust my vacation plans.

You should, you know, you got to make this a regular stop.

So we're counting on it.

We are counting on it.

But you do look nice.

You like my fit?

Yes.

Y'all like my fit?

You do look nice.

This is the Oak Bluffs Collection.

And we want to thank Ralph Lauren for our sponsors of today's event.

I am wearing Ralph Lauren neck to ankle.

By the way, it's all.

And there's, this is, y'all ladies, this is a leather boustier.

I started to wear it without the shirt.

She didn't have the nerve, though.

But it's cute, y'all.

This fits really nicely.

And you guys are.

I think I'm quite cute in it.

She's very cute.

Very cute.

Very cute.

I'm not as cute, but I'm harder to fit because I'm 6'6.

I got long arms, long legs.

They sent this to me right off the rack.

Off the rack.

So keep that in mind for those tall folks out there too.

This is a great.

Well, the beautiful thing about this collection is that it highlights everything that we know is beautiful about this island, about Oak Bluffs.

The campaign, if you all haven't seen it, the video,

many of our young people, the young people from the island helped create that ad.

And it's a real celebration of what is best about this place.

You all, maybe you know, but Barack and I have been coming here for more than 35 years.

This has been before we were the Obamas

and we've lived probably everywhere on the island.

We raised our girls here, Sasha is here.

All, you know, this is a special place for us because as you all know, this is where we come to enjoy being us.

And I think if you have kids and kids of color, as you all know, having them be able to be on this island where they can be be free and they can roam and go into oak bluffs and be in town and hang out without anybody messing with them and have some freedom.

Um, I love this island.

Uh, and if my brother gets a little more sense,

he will come more often

himself.

We have been coming

now for the last five or so years, and it's been on, yeah.

It's been, it's not,

it's been every year, every year.

Aaron, my, my son's here.

He likes it here.

He was sleeping by the pool today.

But no, it's, it's really, I mean, just downtown,

downtown Oak Bluffs, downtown Egerton.

I'm slowly learning that he's.

He's slowly in his way around.

We went on Barnes Road and Craig was like, is that the airport?

I was like, yes, again, it's still the airport.

But if you don't come here regularly, it can be confusing.

And he shows surprise.

It's like, there's an airport.

It's like this is where the airport is.

It wasn't that I was surprised.

I was surprised that we were back that direction.

It's an island.

At some point, you're going to get back to the same direction over and over again.

You see what I have to put up with?

You know, I am the oldest.

Well, anyway, we've got stuff to do, right?

We have a guest for you all.

And I am excited because I feel like I know Natasha already from

everything she does on TV.

She is an Emmy-nominated actress,

writer, executive producer,

and

of the series How to Die Alone.

She's also known for her roles on Insecure, which the Robinsons and Obamas watched.

And

our kids watched it too with us.

And it was great lessons to learn for my young men.

And most recently,

she's in White Lotus.

I shouldn't say was, but in White Lotus.

Go ahead, clap it up.

Now, I have to confess,

I didn't know she was in White Lotus because I didn't watch White Lotus.

But in preparation for this, now I can't stop watching White Lotus.

You watch it too, though, don't you?

I watch everything.

And she also has a company, Big Hattie Productions, that develops bold, inclusive stories that center around

underrepresented voices.

And she was recently announced to produce, write, and star in the adaptation of the viral TikTok story called Who the

F F

Did I Marry?

Can't wait for that one.

So without further ado, let's get Natasha out here, please.

Natasha Rothwell.

Thank you.

I have been so excited to talk to you.

We've been talking about you for weeks and weeks and weeks, and I feel like I know you.

I told Natasha, she is now a cousin.

It's like, cousin, Natasha.

So, welcome.

Welcome to IMO.

Thank you for being here.

Welcome to the vineyard.

Yeah, this is

my second time.

Okay, when was the first time you've been here?

Well, this is my first time like all over because it's with you, so this might as well be the first time.

You see how nice she's being to Natasha?

She hasn't been here as much as I've been here.

Well,

how has it been?

Have you been able to taste any of the fruits of Martha's Vineyard?

Are you in and out?

I'm yesterday, so I plan on doing a lot of tasting tomorrow.

Oh, and I'll be here.

I'm going to get a lobster roll.

I've got to get the lobster roll.

Some shrimp.

I'm going to drive by the airport.

It's fascinating.

And actually, one of the best places to get fried shrimp is at

the airport.

Oh, there are great food at the airport, in the airport area.

A great breakfast at the airport.

Oh, no.

What do you know about the breakfast?

Because I'm always coming in to see you.

That's all I know.

One of my favorite scenes in the season of White Lotus,

and for those of you,

you guys have had to have seen White Lotus.

But Belinda returns, and we love Belinda.

Can you talk a little bit about what Belinda is now doing in White Lotus before I talk about both things?

Season one, we see her, and she's with Jennifer Coolidge's character, Tanya, and she gets lied to.

And so this is kind of her

victory lap.

She gets to come back, go to Thailand, learn more about the craft of massage, has a little fling and

gets to

I don't want to ruin it for people who haven't seen it, but if you haven't seen it by now, that's all y'all.

The man who is responsible for killing Tanya, she's able to hustle a little $5 million out of that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But not only does Belinda get a groove thing on,

but one of my favorite scenes, because this is the luxury resort and the scene where you're having tea or lunch by yourself and you spot a black couple.

Yeah.

And

most of us know when you're doing something really nice somewhere special and you see other black people.

Yeah.

And you got that.

We know each other.

I love that.

I pitched that to Mike.

He's such a collaborative writer-director.

And season one, we started working together because he's very aware that he's not a black woman.

So in writing the character, I wanted to infuse that authenticity.

And when we were working on season three,

I was just like, Mike, there has to be a moment where Belinda sees someone who looks like her and almost seeing what's possible for herself.

Because she's there under work

circumstances, but that couple's there just for them.

And so just to have that look

make the cut because you never know when you shoot something if it's actually going to make the cut.

I was so thrilled.

And so many people bring that moment up because it's just authentic to the experience.

Well, it tells the whole a fuller story of what it means to be black.

We leisure.

We travel.

We leisure.

And we leisure all up and down Martha's Vineyard, don't we?

And that's one of the beautiful things to see that, you know, we got to make sure the rest of the world knows that we are traveled and and exposed and we do things besides serve other people that's right that's right

um

so so glad to have you here um but i want folks to get to know you know you um because you got an interesting background.

I didn't realize that you were a military kid.

That's right.

You know,

traveled around.

And I don't know if you know, but as First Lady, I spent a lot of time lifting up military families just like yours.

And I just want to thank you, your family, for your service.

Absolutely.

I'm always curious about how that experience has shaped you as a person because you moved around a lot.

I moved around a ton.

Do you view yourself as a military kid?

Absolutely.

I'm an Air Force brat.

My dad retired as commander at Fort Dix in New Jersey.

And

clock it.

But moving around, you know, I went to two high schools, two middle schools, two elementary schools, and it's all I knew.

But the nucleus of the family, that was home.

So it really hit home for me that

it's not a place that's home, it's the people.

And that has always stayed with me.

And I do think that that upbringing uniquely prepared me for the life of an artist because I pick up and move all the time.

I was in Thailand for six months and shot in London for five months before that and then Toronto five months before that.

And so being able to move someplace, connect, establish a family and create memories and to let go of that and to move on is all I know.

So it definitely prepared me for my life as it is now.

But I think my adult life has been one of trying to find roots, you know, like to plant myself someplace.

And I still get a little antsy,

but i'm in la right now and that feels like where you know the roots are and it you know just listening to you you kind of describe yourself as an introvert right very i mean uh we wouldn't be able to see that in you

oh i am what kind were you always that way you were you that kid in the family like for me and craig craig was the outside outside he was always trying to be outside and it took me a second to be ready to deal with other kids because kids were a hassle you know?

Yeah.

She was an introvert.

She was an introvert.

Yeah.

Until I decided I need to go outside.

Right.

Right.

Because nobody's here.

So let me get outside.

It's just, it's just me.

Gotta go out.

You gotta go outside eventually.

You gotta go outside eventually.

No,

I'm an introverted extrovert.

I know how to

show up

publicly, but it is a draining exercise to be around people.

Oh, a lot of people people are relating.

Yeah.

So I recharge alone.

I love my me time.

And so as I've gotten older, I have to be really

conscious about who I'm spending that time with because that's an expenditure of energy that I've stored up.

And so if I'm going to go out, it has to be worth it, right?

The juice has to be worth the squeeze.

And not everybody's worth the squeeze.

That's something I've learned as I've gotten older.

But I'm very neurospicy.

And so for me,

tell tell us more about that.

I have ADHD and a little toe on the tism.

I don't have, like, I,

my neuropsychologist was just like, you got toe on a tism, but you're not quite there.

But I have a unique way about seeing the world, and having the language of that as an adult has been immensely helpful.

Because when I was younger, I mean, I didn't get diagnosed until last year.

Yeah, that's it.

And so my life up until that point has been understanding that I've been spicy, but not knowing the exact flavor.

And now that I do, it's allowed me to tap into communities who are also

ADHD and, you know, explore symptoms of being on the spectrum.

And yeah, you find the community and it's been easier for me to advocate for my needs because I no longer think it's just a moral failure that I need you to repeat yourself.

You know,

it's now, oh, if I'm in front of you and you're giving me verbal directions, I may need you to repeat yourself or give me written directions or instructions.

And I can now do those things with a sense of pride as opposed to shame beforehand because I thought, you know, if I were only, you know, more disciplined, if I was, you know, if I paid better attention.

So the diagnoses definitely helped me stand in my power because I do feel like all of the spiciness and that whatever you possess is a superpower.

Hope you're enjoying our special live episode taped here on Martha's Vineyard.

You all heard me talking about how I've been tooling around town in my sister's R1S, which Rivian gifted us.

And I have to tell you, Mish, I had such a blast.

I drove around the island.

I stopped off at the harbor where all the personal boats go in

and kind of showed the Rivian off a little bit and had a couple of guys toot their horn like, nice car.

There are a lot of Rivian drivers on the island.

Yeah.

And then we went by that hotel that's where you can see the lighthouse.

Harborview Inn.

Harborview Inn, that's it.

And hung out there.

And I thought about going in to get a cup of coffee, but I didn't want to leave your car out there by itself.

I appreciate that.

But the best part was I was in downtown Edgertown.

And you know how hard it is to park on those little narrow streets?

Narrow streets.

little bitty spaces.

Man, so we were right across from the bookstore.

And lo and behold, this guy pulls out and I'm like, I'm going to park in there.

And I start parallel parking and I'm using all six of the cameras, right?

And I'm, I'm worried that I'm going to scratch up your car.

And I was like, you can't borrow your sister's car and then scratch it up.

You can't get the first ding on the car.

No, no, but unacceptable.

I squeeze that baby in there.

Perfect.

There's like three inches in the front, three inches in the back.

And the guy behind me was waiting patiently.

And as he goes by, he slows down and he gives me the old

thumbs up, like nice park job, buddy.

You think he just wasn't happy to see a Rivian?

You think it was your parking job?

No, it was totally the parking job.

It was totally, but I got to tell you, I, I,

when Aaron and I have been riding around town, we absolutely see what you see when you, why you come here so often.

Yeah, finally.

I mean, this is a beautiful place and it's the perfect place to own a Rivian because it's family fun and activity.

I mean, the girls, when they come here, the first thing they do is get in that car.

They go to the beach.

They use the, you know, the ice bucket

there, you know,

the cooler in the front.

They use it more than me.

But

this is the place where Rivians come to thrive.

And we're so happy.

to have our Rivian here.

This is beautiful island, beautiful community,

and

people enjoy their cars here.

We'll be coming back and we'll be using it too.

So, we've had a blast this week on Martha's Vineyard and have loved exploring the island in the Rivian.

Go learn more about Rivian's full lineup of adventure-ready all-electric trucks and SUVs at Rivian.com.

So, Natasha, you go ahead.

Yeah, clap it up.

Yeah.

So, now that you've been diagnosed and you look back on your upbringing,

how did that,

at what point

do you think that came into play

in you becoming an artist?

A huge amount.

Well, one, when I do look back, it is, it's tinged with grief.

Because there's a huge part of myself when I was younger that really felt like I was working so hard to mask the energy I expended to show up and not

be trouble for the teacher or like, you know, cause an issue.

But also, I recognize my strength in that as well because I was able to manage.

I do think that

having the diagnoses now and looking back,

it's clear to me that, you know, for boys, the ADHD of it, it's external, but for a lot of women, especially black women, it's internal.

So I had a vivid, robust inner world.

And so when I put pinned a page, it was like the faucet got turned on.

And I could, you know, I would write these characters and I would be able to tap into these vivid

world-building, you know, exercises that I, you know, luckily I had theater departments and in my elementary and middle schools and high schools.

And so

it unlocked that in me and gave me permission to be that free with my thinking.

And so it really made sense of me as a person, the creative arts.

And I think for a lot of people who experience the world differently, I do think that, you know, arts are an amazing place to sort of find your voice because there is that freedom to explore.

And it is so powerful, absolutely.

Natasha, for you to share your story, your diagnosis as an adult, as a black woman,

because our community, sometimes we, you know, we don't, we're afraid to own the neurodiversity that runs throughout the entire population.

But because of sometimes our beliefs, that

we don't want to embrace that.

And I think that it's so important for black parents, black families to understand that, you know, our kids do come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.

And it's there's no there's no shame in in being able to diagnose it treat it uh parent it properly yeah and if we're not talking about it that's why i try to use my platform to talk about not just the adhd but i also have anxiety depression triple threat way to go

she is an overachiever

but i talk about it openly because i think that like one you know name it to deshame it, you know?

And so for me, I have to be able to talk about my experience.

And so many people have come up to me, especially women of color, are just like, oh, no, I have anxiety, depression, too.

And I was like, amazing.

Are you on spectrum?

Let's talk about it.

Like, I think the more we

talk about it, it becomes less of a stigma.

We destigmatize it by living our experience.

And so if that's one thing I can do with the platform I've been given, I'm happy to do it.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

You also have have parents that have been married for 47 years.

47 years.

47 years.

That's wonderful.

They're on a cruise right now.

Ah, tell them we said, hey.

Oh, my goodness.

They are so, like, I've done some things in my life.

This is, my parents are just like, they're just like, this is the most important thing.

You have ever done.

So

we're going to take a picture, send it to you.

Oh, my goodness.

But

47 years of marriage growing.

You one of three siblings.

Four.

Yeah, I have four.

Yeah, I have three siblings, yeah.

Okay.

What have you learned from your parents' long marriage?

What has that taught you about love, about what you want in life?

I mean, it's not the entire reason, but I would say it plays a part in the reason why I'm happily single now because I've seen love that is worthy and I know what I want.

Yes.

Everyone, big applause on that.

Yes.

And in 47 years,

I'm going to try not to get emotional when I talk about this, but their love looks different.

Now you got tissues.

Their love looks different now.

It looks like, you know, my mom knowing my dad's medication when he forgets.

It's, you know, my...

dad holding my mom's purse while she's picking up his you know prescription at the doctor it's it's they know each other intimately and they love to support each other.

And

it's a beautiful thing to observe, but I do think that it, when I was younger, I found it oppressive.

I was just like, my other friend's parents were, you know, divorced and I was just like, I just want permission to go wild.

And they're just like, nah, we good.

You got no excuse.

No excuse.

But no, it's an amazing model to have.

And it's work.

I've seen the work.

Like, they don't, they don't, they show their, they show their work in the math problem that that is love.

They're just like, we talk to each other.

We, we have hard conversations.

And yeah, they're just wonderful role models.

But yet you feel fully empowered to embrace being single out, yeah.

Absolutely.

100%.

100%.

I am,

I'm childless by choice.

I don't want kids.

And I have two amazing dogs.

And I have a beautiful house that I nicknamed my Peace Palace.

And I have so much love in my life.

And I think in my 20s, I thought that romantic love was more important than any other kind of love, platonic, fraternal, familial.

And as I've gotten older and being single, it has highlighted and elevate the other kinds of love that is in my life.

And it's abundant.

And so if I hyper-fixate on romantic love, I ignore the rest, my life is hollow.

And so I'm really, I feel like my life is full.

And romantic love, while it's something that I want, I know it has to match this amazing life that I've worked so hard to build.

And

you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Remember that point?

Would anybody be upset if we introduced you to somebody?

What if you do introduce me?

God is good.

God is good.

And all the time,

that's right.

To answer your question, I would love to be set up.

Okay.

Okay.

So, what do you have?

Somebody in mind?

That's not your business.

You married.

You married.

We're going to be at the airport having a conversation.

She's married, even though a lot of people think y'all ain't married.

She's married.

Let me handle my side of the discussion.

I get it.

Oh, my God.

It's Christmas.

But I like this conversation

about owning,

being able to love yourself, especially as women, especially as black women, because sometimes, and we could talk all about this, sometimes we don't have the choice to be chosen, you know?

And I am, you know, I am tired of so many amazing black women waiting to feel worthy

because somebody hasn't chose them or they haven't chosen somebody.

And I'm trying to instill in my daughters right now that marriage should be a choice.

And sometimes we send subliminal messages to our kids.

They could be doing great things, and it's like, well, are you dating anyone?

Yeah.

You know, or you could be conquering the world and it's like, well, are you going to have a baby?

right you know all the while sending the message that who you are isn't good enough until you are partnered paired off and pregnant.

Yes,

I

I Do not and I I I do not believe that romantic love is a prerequisite for living your life.

I

and I think so often and you know my parents are 47 years married they're traditional you know and so for them it was it took a minute for them to understand that, like, no, I'm buying my house myself.

You know, like, I'm doing these things because that's living my life.

I'm gonna vacation when I want to vacation.

But there was a point in my life where I was like, I remember when I lived in New York City, it was a very romantic thing to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge.

And so, when I moved there, I was like, I'm gonna save it for a romantic date, and it's gonna.

And then, luckily, that was around the time I started therapy.

And by the time I left New York, I took my damn self across the bridge.

Really?

And had a great time.

Yes.

Had a great time.

And that was eye-opening because I do think that there is this idea of waiting and that your

not-enoughness will persist until you have someone else to see you.

See yourself, see each other.

Like

there's no reason why

joy can't be present now with where you are.

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What are some of the firsts that we were able to accomplish in our family?

What were some of our firsts?

Well, I was probably the first first lady in our family.

You were the first person to get drafted by the NBA.

Yes, I sure was.

And the first to actually play professionally overseas.

We were the first in our family to graduate from Ivy League schools.

You were the first person in our family to live abroad.

Oh, that's a good one.

That's a good one.

We are the first people in our family to have our own amazing.

brother-sister podcasts.

Yes.

And that has been an amazing first.

That's been a really fun first.

That's been a really fun first.

And it feels like it's a first that the whole family can celebrate because, you know,

everyone is giving us ideas and

opinions.

Yes.

And

it has been really fun spending time hanging out together.

And, you know, it feels like we haven't been together in a long time.

And we've just been apart for about a couple of months, which was no time.

That was nothing in the past.

Fun.

The thing about being the first is that sometimes it can be a little scary.

Like starting this podcast, even though we're having a lot of fun, no, we've never done this before.

And there was a little trepidation about how's it going to work?

Are people going to enjoy it?

Are we going to have enough to say week after week?

Can we get guests?

Can we get guests?

Will anybody come and talk to us?

So

the first come with a lot of fear, but a lot of excitement and a lot of reward.

So we recommend being the first.

And for a lot of folks, that first might be buying a home, something no one in their family has done before.

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So I've heard you talk about, or read, I should say, I've read you talk about unlearning how to be a people pleaser.

Yeah.

And you hear the oomphs out there because there's quite a few people pleasers.

And sometimes culturally, you have to be a people pleaser.

Sure.

But tell us how you went about

systematically unlearning that.

It's a daily practice.

I mean, I grew up in the church and martyrdom is

the best thing you can be.

You know, like you can

be a needless wonder and be praised for it in the church.

And I think for me, it was recognizing that in my deference for other people's needs, in my recognizing and being attuned to other people's, you know, physical and emotional needs.

I have to put myself at the top of that list.

And inserting myself into that conversation was very difficult.

It came, I mean, it got so bad when I was, this was when I was a teenager.

I was a vegetarian for 12 years, but now I love a burger.

They're delicious.

At the time, I was visiting a friend's house and their mom made like chicken enchiladas and I ate the chicken while being a vegetarian because that's how bad bad my people pleasing was.

I was so scared to be an imposition, and my needs are not an imposition.

And it was recognizing the importance of honoring my needs in the company of other people, not just when I'm by myself.

And I do think that

being able to articulate my needs and standing and backing myself has been a huge part of the process.

No, I don't want the chicken enchiladas.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

But also, I think there's this fear that

if you make someone unhappy, you're responsible for their joy.

You feel like you're responsible for others people's happiness if you aren't pleasing them.

And that's on them.

That is on them.

And so it definitely, it's a process because it's like a phantom limb.

Even though I've let it go, I can still feel it creep up.

But now I I can recognize it in real time and really pause I really if folks are struggling pause before

and check in with yourself in the authenticity of who you are is this a decision that I want that I need before you say yes to something before you do anything

and I've definitely taken the the mantra in terms of like my my life in Hollywood it's there's no in the middle it's either a hell yes or a hell no and that has also helped me to be like I really want to to do this.

I have to check in with myself.

But stillness has been a huge antidote to people pleasing because I'm able to put that stopgap into, you know, being quick to make sure their feelings are okay.

So you are an introverted people pleaser

with their newly diagnosed ADHD, and you work in Hollywood.

I do.

They pick the right place, right?

How did,

you know,

how did your sort of life lead you into what you're doing now?

What was that path like for you?

Because you've had some interesting stops along the way.

Yeah.

I

had no aspirations for Hollywood.

I thought I was going to be a Broadway theater actor.

I thought me and Audrey McDonald's would be best friends.

And

I just loved performing so much.

I went to college for acting,

but I would write my audition monologue.

So writing was a huge part of my process as well and

again to get spiritual with it I knew from that moment of you know walking with across that stage of my degree and acting that I was walking in my purpose that I knew that I was doing something I had been called to do and it was scary you know there I was very very broke in New York and then it's very scary to leave New York to go to LA and

but I do feel that every

when I look back at my career each one of those doors I didn't open myself, and that I was really listening to my

creative self as I was, you know, putting pen to page or auditioning for something.

And I'm grateful for that because it's a career that's very unexpected and nothing that I could have planned even if I wanted to.

And I also had to sort of reimagine dreams for myself because my dreams were too small.

What were some of the, how did you, talk a bit more about that?

Yeah, I think, you know, for me, I was just like, oh, I'd love to do a play one day.

You know, I didn't know I would be, you know, creating my own show.

I didn't know I'd be a writer on Issa's show or be Kelly.

I didn't know White Lotus was in the future or Wonka or anything else.

So when I achieved what I thought was big,

I was like, well, damn, I need to like, what do I really want?

And

when I realized that my career had given me a position of power and influence, that's when I created my production company.

Because I know that I am drawn to, even before I had decision or agency in my career, I was drawn to characters and stories that centered marginalized voices, that uplifted the stories that were usually relegated to the sidelines.

So I was like, oh yeah, that's how I dream bigger for myself.

I create a company.

I help other artists who have stories to tell and give them that platform.

And that's been a huge dream realized that I'm like still in the process of realizing.

And I think for me,

it's again, pause, taking a step back and being really deliberate about the things I decide to do because time is short and I want to make sure I invest the gifts I've been given in a way that will continue to yield.

So can you talk about deliberate?

How on earth?

Now, you all don't probably don't know this, but you spent time in Japan.

That was what jumped off the page to me.

I was like, what?

So

this wasn't in your

moving around as

an Air Force brat.

You went there to do what?

Can you tell us about that whole situation?

Yeah, I was in my 20s and I had finished college.

I was working in DC, acting, and working at Woolly Mammoth Theater and Studio Theater, and really trying to figure out DC.

And I'd finished that, and I knew I wanted to go to New York, but I didn't feel like I had lived a lot of life.

And so I was like, oh, I want an adventure.

And I was trying to go to London and be on my Black Bridget Jones.

That didn't work.

I had trouble getting a visa there.

So my search for adventure moved further and further east.

And

I know Japan has like the JET program which is their big teaching English program but I didn't do that.

I found a tiny tiny ass school that wanted someone with a theatrical background to perform conversations with students.

I was like well I'm an actor and I can do that and part of my hustle gig in DC was being a teaching artist at Arena Stage and so I had taught kids and so I said yes to this program because they would sponsor my visa and fly me out.

I would have to fly myself back.

I would have to figure out rent and all that kind of stuff.

And I jumped on it.

And it was a part-time job.

And there's a Tokyo comedy store, which is equivalent to Boom Chicago for comedy folks.

It's like this comedy theater at the Crocodile Club in Tokyo.

They found out that I was like.

a ringer for improv comedy and they're like would you be a part of this program so i did that part-time and taught part-time and was black in japan it was crazy and this you this was English in Japan.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It was

improv.

English improv in Japan.

Yeah.

What was your biggest joke?

What landed?

What landed?

I will say, I don't remember a specific joke, but I'm so appreciative of the experience because the audience was filled with expats, not just U.S.

expats, but like English speakers from all walks of life, all over the world.

And so I couldn't come to them with my like funny DC comedy, like, you know, summer intern on the hill joke because they wouldn't get that.

They understood universal humor.

They understood when the, you know, the employee has a higher status than the boss, that's funny.

So it really taught me about like what is universally funny and how do you communicate that across language barriers.

But yeah, I don't remember any specific jokes, but they loved it when it was just like you come in with the broom and someone is like, you know, looking like they're the boss and then you hit them in the head or whatever.

If you exert power and subvert expectations, that was a big laugh, always.

And being black in Asia, right?

That was one.

I mean, that's a whole situation.

We've spent time in Asia, and I can tell you, you know, even with Secret Service or whatever, we, you know,

it's quite an experience.

You were a part of my Japanese experience.

Oh,

tell us more.

Because I was there in

2007 into 2008.

And so I was in my apartment, and my dad had the phone to the television to get the results of the election.

And so I was there listening because I couldn't get it on TV.

So I was up late and he had the phone there.

And when you won, I just remember the next day I was riding my bike to teach, and people were just like, Obama!

I was like, yes, Obama.

That's why I'm here.

I'm here, Obama.

Thank you.

That's why I'm here.

That's a great.

True story, true story.

That is great.

Did they treat you better?

They did!

I would go into shops and go to the city.

They'd be like,

no, Obama stopped?

And I was like, huh.

Told you we were cousins.

Told you we were cousins.

Now, how did your folks feel about it?

You know, black child and creativity, you know,

coming from the church, were they like, yeah, girl, you got a plan B?

They didn't have a plan B.

They were so supportive.

And I was originally, I made drama where there was none.

I originally majored in journalism because I thought that's what they would want because the theater, you know, majoring in theater, they wouldn't like.

And I I wrote all the time, so it made sense.

And after my first semester, I remember I came home during the Christmas break and sat them down and came out as a thespian or something.

And they were like, hold your hand.

No, no, oh baby.

No, we're still on track, Craig.

We're still on track.

We'll like her.

We'll like her.

And the first thing out of their mouth was just like, well, we were confused about the journalism thing.

We knew you'd love to act and we want to support whatever you do.

And so it was wonderfully supportive.

Has there been a thing that you've done in your career that made them think, oh,

this is, now we get it.

This.

Not Issa.

Sorry, Issa.

You didn't count.

No, 70 Night Live is good for them.

That was

what I wrote for them.

They were just like, they were, you know, fans of the show.

So to see my name on the credits, they were really excited.

Tell us about your.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah, she's Bogart in the whole discussion.

I'm sorry.

It's not a lot of fun.

I understand.

She's in her favorite place with one of her favorite people.

I get it.

I get it.

I get it.

But I'm going to ask a couple of questions.

Okay, okay, okay.

I'll stand down.

So, writer, actor, producer,

which one do you like to do most?

Hmm.

I don't have a favorite, but you know, dance with the one that brung you.

Acting is such a huge part of my identity.

And I do think, I had this conversation recently with Issa and Yvonne and Jay.

We were all chatting.

You know, so much of what we've done since then, we've had to write and produce ourselves.

And that's just a lot of work, which we love to do, but it is sort of a sweat equity you put in.

And so while I love that, it's amazing to go to White Lotus and just show up and do acting and

go back to my room and leave it there.

So it's been fun.

What's been the difference?

What's the difference being in a black writer's room?

I mean,

that's a, you know,

address.

Yes.

I went to Insecure after SNL.

And at SNL, at the time, I was the only black writer

in a 40-year-old

institution.

And I remember, and Prentice has told this story, who was the co-show runner with Issa.

The first day, I remember raising my hand to talk.

And Prentice looked at me and he was like, why your hand up?

And I was just like, oh, I just, I don't, because there were so many, it was very hierarchical at SNL where it was just like, if you're a freshman writer, like, you can't talk at this tape.

Like, there there was a lot of rules that you had to sort of weren't told to you, you had to figure it out.

And he was just like, no, he's like, you're at the table.

And I remember just leaning back, and I was just like blown away by like the openness of the space.

And

after the first writer's room, I went to my car and sobbed.

Just cried because I felt so seen.

When you walk in and there's already hot sauce and cocoa butter on the table,

Say no more.

Say no more.

Say no more.

Say no more.

How did you wind up getting the insecure gig?

What was the, you know?

I FaceTimed with Issa from Brooklyn, my studio apartment.

I was wearing what I call a human mullet.

I just had fancy clothes from the waist up and pajamas on the bottom.

And we FaceTimed and we just connected.

And so I got hired as a writer.

And two weeks into into the or a month into the writer's room, Kelly was created on the page.

And we would do readings in the writer's room of the character.

And I was so focused on writing because it was my first scripted room after SNL.

I had no, I didn't have any crosshairs on being on the screen.

I just knew that when she would cast the writers to read the scripts aloud, she'd always cast me as Kelly.

And one day she called me into her office with Prentice, and I was just like, oh Lord, I'm in trouble.

I made one too many days.

I'm done.

And they're like,

they're like, we want you to play Kelly.

And again, I cry a lot.

I cried because

I went from some place where I was screaming to be seen to another place that saw all of me and acknowledged all those parts.

So that's the thing I credit up for Issa is that

she wasn't just like, okay, you're a writer, just stay in that lane.

She's just like, whatever you got, I'm going to use.

And she used that part of me and that talent.

And Kelly changed my life.

Oh, my God.

Kelly was my favorite character.

I mean, really.

I mean,

was there a bond?

I mean, was the girlfriend energy real?

I know it always doesn't translate, doesn't have to translate off of the screen, but just curious.

I mean, we love Issa.

Issa's been on the show.

She's my girl.

Love her to do that.

She's so real.

She's like,

there's no manufacturing that level of authenticity.

And I think that I move through the world with that level of vulnerability.

And so

to some people's chagrin, it can be kind of cringe to be this vulnerable, but I very much don't care.

It's been wonderful to rely on each other, especially in Hollywood, because we can reach out and.

Yo, I'm at Fox and they're sending me this and my contract.

Is that what you got?

No, I actually asked for this.

And so there are resources as well as just being like friends.

So it's been wonderful.

And now you are two-time Emmy nominated.

Can you believe?

I can't even believe.

And

you're the only black woman nominated in this category this year.

So congratulations.

Thank you so much.

Truly, truly, so proud.

So, so deserving.

Thank you.

So what does it feel like?

Is your life changed?

Yes.

Yes.

I love that.

Tell us more.

And this is, this is, this sounds so like Pollyanna, but it, I've already won.

Do you know what I mean?

Like the nomination is just an acknowledgement for my peers that I've done good work.

So, do people really feel that?

Or do you really want to win?

Listen, I'm not hardware like everybody else.

I like hardware.

Let's be real.

But I'm satiated in knowing that I've done a good job.

And I think that the moment the award becomes more important than the work, I've lost the plot.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Beautiful.

That's so important in all walks of life.

100%.

All walks of life.

Yeah, because that is, that is fleeting.

Famous fleeting.

That's also other, like, I did not know I would be a famous person.

I had no desire to be.

I just knew I would say, this is from the time when I was in high school doing theater.

I was like, I want to do good work with good people.

That was my, like, that's what I want.

And that being my true north has got me here, and I'm not not changing that.

What in your background

makes you that way?

Because I'm sitting here and I listening to you talk about collaborating with all these different people.

But I think you have to have a certain personality and a certain upbringing to be a team, a natural team player.

Yeah.

Where does that come from?

I mean, I think it comes from a lot of places.

I think a military background, you know, that definitely has the focus.

I think I've always loved collaborative things.

I'm one of four, you know, we're a little unit, dysfunctional, but we love it.

And I think for me, I get joy in that process.

And that's just always been true.

That's why I've never attempted stand-up.

People often confuse me for Michelle Bouteau.

They're like, you just stand up girl.

I'm like, no, no, no.

Because I prefer collab, like I prefer improv and sketch, where it's just like, let's all get together and see, like, the best idea wins.

It may not be mine.

And so I get, I genuinely get joy from that.

And I think that, like, you know, growing up the way I did, and

yeah, I just think that there is a,

yeah,

it's kind of indescribable when you see someone else light up because of something you did, and then that sparks something else.

There's this connectivity that makes it really present.

And especially in this crowd, especially with young people, I have a young creative

child.

I think a lot of young creatives,

especially kids of color, young people of color, with all that's going on in the world, they wonder, is there still room for this?

Is this still relevant?

And I want you to talk a bit about that because I think

How Not to Die Alone, the projects that you work on, you know, your perspective of telling a story that doesn't get told.

I just want you to speak to not just the audience here, but to all the young artists out there who might doubt that their voice matters, especially as the industry is changing.

And I'd love for you to speak to that.

Absolutely.

It's so funny.

When Insecure was on the air,

we were very on social media as a writer's room and as the actors and interfacing with audiences.

And, you know, being a plus-size black woman on the show, I would get, you know, plus-size black women hit me up and be like, well, that's not my experience.

And that's not the version that I want to see.

And my response was always pick up a pen.

Yeah.

Pick up a pen because your perspective is just as valid and necessary.

And I think now more than ever, as I limply gestured to the state of the world,

we need to be inserting our voices into the narrative in a way that makes sense for us.

It's such a personal thing to tell a story.

And there's the quote, write what you know, right?

And so you know what you know, I know what I know.

And I think it's so important for also young creators to know that in their pocket is a phone.

That is a movie studio.

Do not wait for someone else to give you permission to live your dream.

Yeah.

Do it now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean that.

One of the biggest mistakes I made, I used to not call myself a writer until someone else did.

And I had outsourced my power to someone else.

So if you're a writer, write.

If you're a director, direct.

If you're an actor, act, shoot something.

And it's going to be probably shitty

because you make bad things, but you're, you know,

it's a be prolific, not perfect, right?

Create work enough that your bad gets good, your good gets better, and your better is the best.

And I think that there's glory in the attempt.

Collaborate.

Yeah, there's

so much space at the table.

And don't ever think that you have to get, you know, permission to come to it.

Pull up a chair.

Pull up a chair.

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We're going to be jumping to the listener question, but I do want you, because this is one project, I really don't know

why the F did I get married.

What's the backstory to that?

So that's your next project, right?

Yes.

Who the F Did I Marry?

Oh, yeah.

Who?

Teresa Johnson.

She, I mean, she put up this TikTok series on Valentine's Day.

And I started watching it, but I couldn't get through the whole thing.

And it is, well, I will say a cheat code for it.

Someone brilliantly put it on Spotify so you can listen to it.

Okay, I'll do that.

So it's a nice little, like, put it on and go on a walk.

But it's one of the most radical acts of vulnerability that I've ever seen because she goes into detail about how

she married someone who was a pathological liar.

And

I didn't know anything about it either.

I was minding my business in Thailand doing Belinda.

And

my family, we got this cousin text chain with 25 of us.

And they put some fan art in the text chain, and they thought it was real because they don't know.

And it was a cover art for who the F Did I Married with me next to a very chocolate man.

And so I was like, what is this?

Because I'm getting tagged in it, and people are making fan art.

I was like, what is this?

So I

took a listen to it, and I was so moved by her story, not just for the salaciousness of the details that she recounts and not just the fact that it got a half, like it got half a billion, 500 million

impressions.

I was blown away that she fearlessly was telling the story and still believed in love after that.

And so I was just like, oh, this is a

beauty from ashes story.

This is a Phoenix rising from the ash.

And there's power in that.

And there's this beautiful woman who, after everything she's been through, shared her story to help someone else.

So that's how we connected.

And

when her, the rights to the story became available in Hollywood.

And this just goes to my sort of walking in purpose.

It was a six-way bidding war.

And my big hatty productions, we're kind of fledgling.

You know, there was like the Shondas and the Lee Daniels.

Everyone was throwing their hat in the ring because to get...

500 million people to sit down and watch something, Hollywood sits up and takes notice.

And so I just,

I got the opportunity to FaceTime with her and we just connected and my team was just like, should we connect with one of the bigger pods?

And I was like, no.

I was like, you know, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

And we beat Shonda, y'all.

We got it.

So

I love Shonda, but I was also just like, this is crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is she sure?

But

I'm so thrilled to be able to, you know, produce the story and also play the role so that way it can also, I mean, it's in line with the mission of the the caddy of centering that marginalized voice, lifting it up, and hopefully helping people at the end of the day.

And yeah, hopefully we'll be on set this time next year.

It's going to be good.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Congratulations.

Well, the

fans of IMO know that.

We have a listener question now.

We have some great listeners that send in some really great questions.

So I think we have one that is perfect you from Sophia in Los Angeles.

Okay, you ready?

I'm ready.

As a 28-year-old navigating ADHD and career uncertainty, I've struggled to find stability.

Without a clear path or support system, it's hard to feel grounded.

I want to build a future where I feel secure in my career and in a place I can call home.

What advice would you give to someone trying to build long-term stability when everything else feels up in the air?

I know that's how our questions go.

Yeah, no, but that's a great question.

I will say, you know,

and what is the caller's name?

Sophia.

Sophia.

Sophia wants that long-term stability, wants that career trajectory.

And in looking at the end result, it can get overwhelming because it feels very far away.

And one of the things that helped me when my dreams felt too big for the plate that I had was to break it down into manageable chunks to ask for help and also

not focusing so much on reaching up, but reaching out.

And what I mean by that is

All of the people that are on the grind with you are the people that are going to be there later.

And sometimes you're just like, oh, I just want this person that's up here to help me, but there's people that are in the trenches alongside you.

And building that community is so important.

That's what got me through my very broke years in New York was, you know, commiserating and working along other people who were as hungry and ambitious as I am.

And

because their appetite met mine, we could encourage each other to keep pushing.

In terms of the ADHD of it, had I known then what I know now, I would absolutely try to reach out for resources and medication that can be helpful if that is something that you want to do.

It's been instrumental in changing my life.

I think that Sophia's on the right path.

She's stepping out and asking questions and trying to get that help.

But I think that Yeah, make sure you find your community, your like-minded people that are on the grind with you

because it does make the load lighter.

And a lot of the things that she's talking about, it's like future forecasting, which is like the anxiety talking.

And a lot of that can be remediated with counseling and you know, through medication.

Yeah.

So, what I would tell Sophie is like, try to chill out a little bit.

Have grace with yourself.

You know, give yourself a lot of grace.

Be okay with not knowing anything at 28.

You know, it's like it's in your 20s and way into your 30s.

You're trying a whole lot of stuff on.

You know, there isn't a future trajectory

always.

Maybe there are the people out there who were lucky enough to say, when I was 10, I wanted to be a doctor,

and it was actually true.

And then you grew up and you were a doctor, and you actually liked it and were good at it.

For most people, that doesn't happen.

You know, I thought I was going to to be a pediatrician until I took biology and I was like,

let me try law.

You know?

So I want young people to have more grace with themselves and understand that life is really a journey.

And if you've got some of the core tools of preparation that your parents are telling you to have, because they're right about that,

you're going to be okay.

Yeah.

And don't be afraid to suck.

like

suck a lot suck a lot suck a lot of sucking happens out there in the world

we're gonna edit that out

we're gonna edit that one out

didn't come out right

it's not what I meant leave Craig what do you think

Craig what are your thoughts

That's why it's good to have my big brother.

I put my foot in my mouth and I'm like Craig.

Why don't you

clean that up?

Sophia.

My soul has left my body.

Great question, Sophia.

Great question.

Your thoughts?

No, I think you all have hit all the right notes.

Now I'm scared to say anything.

I will say, I will.

I think Sophia's question, I get a lot, and I would just add one last thing.

It's

making sure that you don't have to be perfect

before you do something.

And I think that that can be such a hindrance to people because they feel their ADHD is a roadblock or they feel like their resources or access is a roadblock.

Do it anyway.

Do it anyway.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And Natasha, I think you hit it on the head in the discussion prior to the question is fall in love with the process.

It's so hard to get young people to understand how to fall in love with a process, whether it be art, whether it's medicine, or whether it's sports.

We live in an age where people want the final product because they can see the final product these days.

When I was young, when we were younger, you couldn't really see the final product

because there weren't many people doing the stuff we wanted to do.

So you had to like what you were doing.

So

I would pass that on to Sophia before I would tell her to suck.

On another note,

Natasha, you were supposed to help.

I tried to help.

I tried to help you.

You get back.

You took it back.

You took it back.

What

shows do you watch on television?

I really love The Pit.

Oh, okay.

It's exceptional television.

John Wells, who was one of the creators.

If you don't know, it's one shift in an ER.

Every episode is one hour in real time.

It's genius producerially.

You have one set.

Your actors have one look.

It's just smart.

And it's just great writing.

Severance, I'm really into.

Did you like the second season?

I did.

I have notes.

I have notes, but I did enjoy it.

I think it's such a beautiful world he's built.

He's really a wonderful world builder.

And I watch The Office biblically.

Like I,

it's my go-to every single, like I, it's criminal how much I watch that show.

We had a whole dinner conversation about how the office is the foundation of Sasha and Malia's life, and they go to it all the time.

They are huge fans as well, but it's a great show.

It's a great show.

It's a great show.

Any embarrassing TV that you watch that Love Island

It is, it is, just every once in a while,

it's good to just turn off my brain.

I think, you know, you need it off.

You just

amazing.

The smartest women that I am around.

My sister, my wife, my daughter, and my nieces, and now Natasha.

These shows are a sociological wonder.

It is as much.

I'm just like.

As someone who writes characters and performs, it is a character study on human behavior.

I watch it like, you know, an Animal Planet show where I'm like, watching these yuckies.

Because they're aliens writing online.

They're all these like tiny symmetrical hairless wonders who are like

hunting each other for sport.

I'm like watching it like.

Yeah, David Attenborough.

But I do think we have this discussion all the time.

I think women, I don't know, we grew up playing sociological games.

Boys were throwing a ball.

And we were all like, okay, you're the teacher.

This is the scenario.

You're angry.

And

something's going on.

No, no, you're not coming in yet, Susan.

No, you know, we've been playing

scenes.

Truly.

And reality TV is like real life.

Yeah.

Child's play for girls.

It's role play.

We want to know.

We want to go deep.

We want to understand.

And you all are like, who won?

Yeah.

That's it.

That's the air reality.

That's it.

Well, Natasha, it has been a thrill.

I mean, see why she comes, Natasha?

Glorious.

Natasha, you have been a drone.

You are smart, funny, honest, vulnerable.

It shows up in the work that you've done.

And I can't wait to see everything that you will do.

And please tell your parents that you made them proud.

Oh, my God.

As always.

You all, let's give it up for Natasha Rothwell.

Rothwell.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

You'll have to bring your parents next time.

Yeah.

You all, thank you all.

Good night.