"In Bloom and Unbothered" (w/ Catherine Cohen)

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Speaker 2 look man

Speaker 2 oh i see my i oh my boy look over there wow is that culture yes goodness yeah lost culturistas ding dong lost culturistas calling back in the studio back on film the theme is red and speaking of which oh my god orgasmic you know okay so i was just home because it was my parents 35th wedding anniversary on labor day they got married in a Greek Orthodox ceremony.

Speaker 2 I asked my mother where all the Diet Coke was in the house and she said, you know, I stopped drinking it years ago. And I was like, well, it's back.
It's back in a big way.

Speaker 2 A couple things up top, we have to do housekeeping-wise.

Speaker 2 It is post-Labor Day. Yeah.
New York City went immediately into fall in a great way. I've been feeling it.
Kathy Hochul and Eric Adams are

Speaker 2 forever. This is why you cannot stand a politician.
And I'm saying like the only way to engage with politicians is to hate them that's that's my take um and then

Speaker 2 is

Speaker 2 never gonna look the same listen and then she's her office is absolutely sprawling right now three different subway stations today fucked couldn't get up here to save my life to this studio because we're tactile yeah how do you feel about new york in the fall love new york in the fall i literally can i tell you what i was doing seconds ago drking off no the weather i actually didn't jerk off this morning because I have a date later tonight.

Speaker 2 Oh. You can't.
It's actually rule of culture number 18. You can't jack off in the morning if you have a date that night at age 34.
What rule of culture is that? 34. 34.

Speaker 2 You can't jack off in the morning if you have a date later that night at age 34.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying I'm kind of hoping to like, I don't know what I'm hoping. No, I get it.
That person sentence. But I was just

Speaker 2 walking on the street and I was wearing a jacket listening to bleachers. Okay.

Speaker 2 You don't love that.

Speaker 2 Our guest is coughing. Our guest is.

Speaker 2 I told you it's my cough, not yours. It's her cough.
But that's what I was doing. It was right.
My cough has been moved in for two and a half weeks and it's staying just a little longa. Langa.

Speaker 2 This is the mouthpod. Don't clue.
No, no, no.

Speaker 2 You're almost there.

Speaker 2 Now you're in.

Speaker 2 I don't. Well, this is not just.
We can't just have her come in because this is a moment in time. This is a moment.
No, I'm having a manic episode already. Like, this is going to be unlistenable.

Speaker 2 She has jet lag. Which is the perfect state to podcast.
100%. I mean, the return to the pod of one of the all-time greats.
One of the all-time greats.

Speaker 2 And this is going to actually take the readers by storm.

Speaker 2 This is

Speaker 2 giving New Moon and Virgo. Oh, wow.
Yeah. Giving, we're back to, we're back to the roots.
Yeah. You know who this is, by the way? Iconic Leo.
And we just dragged Leo's to filth on the last episode.

Speaker 2 I want to hear it. Yeah.
Okay. But it's Leo Man.

Speaker 2 Play the episode. Play the tape.
Can you play the whole episode for me? Great. And we're back.
We've heard the episode. We listened to the whole episode, and I can't believe you said that, bitch.

Speaker 2 Bitch.

Speaker 2 Bitch.

Speaker 2 She's a vocalist. She's a double bitch.
It was male Leos that we as Leo. Never met one.
Really? Who is one? Sean Mendez, Ben Affleck. Never met them.

Speaker 2 Don't. They're going to gaslight you.
Our guest has a lot of things. What?

Speaker 2 A lot of things on the agenda. That's very nice.
Full Old podcast, of course.

Speaker 2 Come for me. The special coming in October 17th on Veep Streaming Services.
Thank you, Veep. Thank you, Veep.
Madam VP.

Speaker 2 Huh? Yes, Ms. Madam VP.
Ms. Madam Peep.
Mrs.Veep.com. And a big announcement coming next month.
And shut the fuck up. Only murders in the building.

Speaker 2 Come on.

Speaker 2 Forget it. Forget you.

Speaker 2 And remember her now because

Speaker 2 welcome to your ears. I don't know what that was.
Welcome back to your ears the one the only

Speaker 2 cat coding

Speaker 2 you make me wanna laugh

Speaker 2 ashamed drink your milk up I want more

Speaker 2 couldn't be happier I forgot about drink the milk up I want more I'm like an alley cat drink the milk up I want more obvious come thing

Speaker 2 I got such a come thing right up top I got a come thing I got a come thing why where'd you come from I've been waiting to ask you

Speaker 2 are are you stressed because of the trains i do have transit travel yeah anxiety right let's let it go for so i'm so happy to be home with my family so good to see you girls thank you for having me on the podcast um i just got back last night from london england oh oh edinborough

Speaker 2 she's

Speaker 2 a legend winner thank you yeah i did edinbo i did my european tour i've been gone three months yeah it was heaven on earth i have to say it was just really nice yeah just really nice and to miss the new york summer fucking rock i always run from the heat Yeah, because I run from the heat, and now I'm in time for the chill, in time for a sweater in the studio.

Speaker 2 I know. Oh my God, you came back right on time.
Look at this. Do you want me to do this? Can you imagine? I'm off.

Speaker 2 Pour your beloved. What's everyone's mood? My mood, honestly, like I have had kind of an annoying day

Speaker 2 because I came here to the studio at 10 a.m. thinking it was 10 a.m.
Oh, I didn't. And it was actually that thing of

Speaker 2 my time difference. Because East Coast, West Coast, what is it? So meanwhile, you're over in London time.
It's nice. This is an international episode of Scrambled Brains.
No, I like it.

Speaker 2 I love coming this direction because you wake up early and you feel so powerful. Of course.
Yes. And then you get to go to bed and you feel so healthy.
Oh, forget it.

Speaker 2 There was a huge stretch of time where I was waking up naturally at 5.30 a.m. Can you imagine?

Speaker 2 All I wanted to do was hang on to that and be that person.

Speaker 2 Early for me is like 8.45. Yeah, same.
I try to wake up at 8 a.m.

Speaker 2 Wow. Every day.
I try. And even the weekends now.
Do you both work out a lot? I work out six days a week.

Speaker 2 Okay, boys. Everything's different now.
They moved to the city.

Speaker 2 And now they're gay. They got a big studio and now they're gay.
Gay. You still gay? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And actually, and actually, that's getting harder. Is it? Oh, gay guys.
It's getting worse. Yeah.
It gets worse. Bowen said,

Speaker 2 Bowen said the other day, done with gay guys.

Speaker 2 I didn't say that. I said I need to take a break from gay guys.
No, you're y'all are annoying.

Speaker 2 I don't think so, gay guys.

Speaker 2 What do you think? What do you think? Well, I love gay guys.

Speaker 2 I can't get enough of the stuff. Everywhere I go, I go, ah, ah! It's crazy.
Like, I'll be in another city and I'll immediately draw. I'll be immediately be like, ah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 The London ones are chic. They're heaven on earth.
They're heaven on earth. I love my community.

Speaker 2 You know, I was talking to my dad yesterday about like living in like New York or LA or the age-old question. And I was like, maybe I'll go live in London.
That'd be fabulous.

Speaker 2 Maybe I will just go do that. I'd adore you.
The gays there, you say they're chic? They're very chic. Yeah.
I mean, period. I don't have the end of sentence.
Well, I walk into the studio.

Speaker 2 I go, I go to your producer. I go, hey, where does Matt live?

Speaker 2 That's where we're at. I live everywhere.
You live at all? Matt, what I realized, he is feeling, he's going through uprooting constantly.

Speaker 2 He's constantly, he does not root anywhere. Oh, uprooting.

Speaker 2 I don't root. It's scary to root.
It's scary to root, especially because you've tried tried to root before and it's been like a mistake you know what i mean well i know you live in bleep it brooklyn

Speaker 2 me yeah why why you're asking me why so far from your job oh my gosh yeah she wants to know why you don't live in manhattan i'm worried about you you're in manhattan of course five years now but you were brooklyn before five years but things changed but after the five years and both she says bow should be in manhattan and that's where you belong were you guys just because i was like were you guys just talking about this because i go where is bowen coming from and that's why

Speaker 2 would bowen live there that's so interesting well i can't you love it you love it i love it and i'm do you have a fancy high rise i like it's not a high rise i like my apartment though a lot i love my apartment okay well then i don't care but i beyond that

Speaker 2 i can't give you a great reason beyond that i feel like your life could be so much easier really it's been the best for you i want you to be close to your amazing job But like Manhattan is just like full of, and I was one of them, but I was like full of these little NYU kits.

Speaker 2 And I'm just like, I

Speaker 2 stay away, stay away. Why do you love Manhattan? I go to NYU

Speaker 2 if you enrolled in NYU now what's it called mystery box

Speaker 2 hammer cats you're in hammer cats

Speaker 2 I'm in hammer cats mystery box you would actually really do well I'm the only person in their 30s in hammer cats they would worship you cat cat co was the to my mind it's like you and like Melissa Rich it's like the one cis woman who comes to Fire Island oh my god everyone just worships Have you been?

Speaker 2 You haven't been in a while, have you? I went for one day last year, but I've been only been twice. But yeah, I describe it as like during the day, you're the bell of the ball.

Speaker 2 The lights go down, they trample over your dead body. You're fully being stomped to death.
I'm like,

Speaker 2 yeah, but that happens to anyone. That's how it keeps going with the pace.

Speaker 2 We've been there till last week. How was? Fun.
You know, it was low-key this most recent time because there were no parties and it was actually kept. But we were always low-key.
There were parties.

Speaker 2 It's just, there was no like theme. There was no like,

Speaker 2 It wasn't like this.

Speaker 2 Was it more like,

Speaker 2 it was more like,

Speaker 2 so basically, what we did this year was we, well, you weren't there the first, in June we went to Fire Island, but he was shooting in Vancouver.

Speaker 2 So I was there on like an off week in June and like the week before Labor Day this time. And then when we went to Provincetown, we were there for family week.

Speaker 2 So we kind of weren't there for any of the party weeks anywhere, but we had like sort of our little alt vacation moments. I see.
Are you very altered? P-Town or Fire Island?

Speaker 2 It's hard to say. New York or LA.
For me. Am I right? Oh, might as well.
Manhattan or Brooklyn.

Speaker 2 I've never been to P-Town. I want to like P-Town.
Everyone adores it. I think you would adore it.
Everyone's adoring it, but it seems far away. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It is, but also like in the grand scheme, like not really. I will say, like.

Speaker 2 Getting there feels like less of a whole,

Speaker 2 like, it's like a grand majestic moment when you get to Fire Island. It's so intense.
Yeah. It's a lot.

Speaker 2 I did take a tiny plane to provincetown and i felt like i was in an old film cape scare cape scare yeah a plane from where boston boston i don't want to go there

Speaker 2 you won't want i don't want to go there girl you gotta you're like renee rapp i hate boston vibes oh my god i am newly love her i just learned about her because my young friend told me who's your young friend My young friend, Carly.

Speaker 2 Shout out. Shout out.
You got to keep a Gen Z girl around to tell you. And that's pretty.
Yeah, I go, is this okay? Or tell me. I go, I actually am not.
I'm actually not going to get into it.

Speaker 2 You best. You must.
I'm trying to think what I ask her. I'll be like,

Speaker 2 well, now I actually like, I'm 100 years old, but I go, what is body tea? Oh, body tea. Someone said body tea to me.
And I go, so can you tea everything?

Speaker 2 And she was like, I mean, when your body is tea, it means like you look good. I knew it was a good thing.
So someone said body tea to you. Oh, body tea.

Speaker 2 I'm glad it's

Speaker 2 body tea.

Speaker 2 Sorry to bring it back. What was that from? It's from your last episode.

Speaker 2 Is that from the last episode? That was from 1996.

Speaker 2 That's why I told you today. I go, I haven't talked to y'all since 90.
You since 93. 93.
I saw you in 96 because we had drinks. In 96, we had drinks.
In

Speaker 2 95, we saw each other at the opening night of O'Mary off-Broadway. I know, but for one second.
For once, though. On calendar seconds.
That's not enough seconds at all. I know.

Speaker 2 So when are you back at work?

Speaker 2 I do fucking know.

Speaker 2 Not me.

Speaker 2 Not me. Are you happy about everything?

Speaker 2 Yeah, get into the real street. Are you guys happy about everything or sad?

Speaker 2 I'm okay. I don't think so, honey, I never see you ever.
No, no, no, no. And can I tell you something?

Speaker 2 This is one of the reasons why I want to be back in New York is because truly my family of friends is here. But that's okay because I look at my phone, I get back in town and I go, who lives here?

Speaker 2 Who lives here? I don't even know. I know.

Speaker 2 Well, that is a hard thing. I will say there's like...
Mr. P is gone.
Yeah. Mr.
P. Oh, P.
Mr. P is an O.
Oh my God. We did an escape room with him two weeks ago.
We did an escape room.

Speaker 2 In fact, I think he told me that sentence and I go, I'm ignoring that. Every five years, we do an escape room with Pat and our friend Jared, who loves you and you not.
Well, I love Jared.

Speaker 2 But here's my impression of me in an escape room.

Speaker 2 Let's go.

Speaker 2 I want you to know that's really kind of the vibe for all of us.

Speaker 2 We all have our own little skills that contribute.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you say the key to an escape room is everyone spread out and everyone shout from one end of the room to the other what the person on the other end of the room should do. Does that make sense?

Speaker 2 That's perfect. If you do enough, you get good at it.
Like, I've done enough now where I'm like, I know there was like a, remember there was that woman. It was like an old frog woman.

Speaker 2 Okay, so in this last escape room, we did. Stop talking about me like that.

Speaker 2 I can't spoil it. What's body tea?

Speaker 2 In the corner. Frogwood is good.
We did one in LA and there was like a frog woman who was wearing an outfit, and every item of clothing was a different color.

Speaker 2 And I said, that's going to come into play. Oh.
Come to find. Wait, why was there a woman in it?

Speaker 2 I don't know why. Why is there a woman in anything? Wait, hold on.
I can't with you on the mic. Polly would be like.
Misophonia. Misophonia is.
Polly would be like, oh,

Speaker 2 hold on.

Speaker 2 Because I'm waiting to eat until after the podcast.

Speaker 2 Don't let your friend eat. Thank you.
Not on the mic, because I'm looking out for all the readers with misophonia out there. The readers with misophonia, you are the community.

Speaker 2 Y'all don't shut the fuck up, ironically. Y'all don't stop making sounds.
Jesus Christ. See, I would never alienate the fans, only the Leos.

Speaker 2 I'm jetlog brained.

Speaker 2 You're actually

Speaker 2 top of mind. No, you guys, that's because this is a really exciting top of mind.

Speaker 2 Is it?

Speaker 2 Top of mind, titu. Mind titura.
What's top of mind for you? Yeah. Pop culture really.

Speaker 2 I don't know something that everyone saw 10 years ago. I just watched Game of Thrones.

Speaker 2 Let's talk about it. Well, here's what I was like: Vanderbilt Rules and Game of Thrones with two binges.
I watched all of Game of Thrones last summer. Unbelievable show.
Check it out. And

Speaker 2 I want to be on it. Check's watch.
Where is it filming?

Speaker 2 I watched.

Speaker 2 House of the Rising Dragon. Don't ever yell at me again.
House of the Rising Dragon. I want to rail, rail, rail, bounce, bounce, bounce on that guy from Dragon.

Speaker 2 Which one now? The one in House of Dragon, who's like like. Matthew? Matt Smith.
Matt Smith. Matt Smith.
I want to. I met him.
Where? Big fuck energy. He was at Tribeca Film Festival.

Speaker 2 He was playing Robert Maplethorpe in a movie. Oh, my God.
Yeah. And

Speaker 2 he was down to the farm.

Speaker 2 He looks over at us in our jackets, and I remember making eye contact. Oh, no, it was charged.
And he goes, it suits you.

Speaker 2 Is he B? Did he give B?

Speaker 2 He gave B, like, he wanted to fuck both of us. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was giving, it was, and I don't know this about him, and I know that I'm on one with this word, but it was giving like narcissists, like, it's like, I want you to leave this room being like, he would fuck me.

Speaker 2 That's the headline. That's the poll code Matt Rogers calls Matt Smith a nurse.

Speaker 2 Not nurse. Nurse.
NARS liquid concealer.

Speaker 2 I am so attracted to him. It makes me, I'm actually really horny right now.
Yeah, good. Yeah, good.
Where Brian at? I know. Never seen him.
I have a boyfriend, never seen him in my life.

Speaker 2 He's always, we're always gone.

Speaker 2 Was he in London? No, what I mean is that that we moved in together in May and we haven't lived there. Well, that's the kiss of death.
You shouldn't have done that.

Speaker 2 Stop. No, he's he, you know, he's the best man on earth.
No, he is. I think Thursday evening, I'll hopefully get torn, torn in half.

Speaker 2 Split in half with love. Split in half by my beloved.

Speaker 2 By a good man. Split in half by my beloved title of F.
Split in half by my beloved. Well, I told you pre-pod who I want to be.
You don't love me.

Speaker 2 No, I want to be split in half by my love.

Speaker 2 Who do you want to be? I want Theo Vaughn to split me. Oh, my God.
And I still don't think that's a good idea. Split me open.

Speaker 2 I think that is doable. Theo, if you're watching.
Theo, reach out.

Speaker 2 You guys are an OP. Every now and then we're like, are we? Oh, oh, no, we're not.
We did it for one second. We're both like, ah,

Speaker 2 I can't imagine. How scary.
I know, but life is so long. I know.
Life is scary. Life is so scary.
Are you single? Yeah. And you're single.

Speaker 2 But he's going to date tonight. I know.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 I was telling Catherine that like I have done that thing where it's like I've come to New York and like over scheduled myself

Speaker 2 type of thing. I got it.
There is one guy that I'm liking quite a bit. Really? But I also have my walls

Speaker 2 up. Like up, up.
Your walls are up. Oh, the walls are up.
Tear them down. I've never

Speaker 2 and they were

Speaker 2 always so down. And now post-one experience, they're up.

Speaker 2 But I'm trying. I'm trying.
Post-experience. You're living in a post-experience.

Speaker 2 It's a sick treatment conversation, I think. It's very sick.
You're coming on. I'm going on.
I'm going on Saturday. This is the big announcement.
I'm still having. Do you guys, you know what?

Speaker 2 I think actually, I'm feeling so. I'm feeling, it's 2024.
I finally feel normal. Yeah.
That's great. Since 2019.
Yes. Yeah.
That's when I was normal and happy. And then crazy, crazy, crazy.

Speaker 2 And even the last few years, I've been just like,

Speaker 2 like scratching through. And now I'm like, think about being back at the Edinburgh Festival as well.
Like being among, like, just among the crowds and the people. I'm just like, I love life.

Speaker 2 Like, I feel normal again. Yeah.
That's top of mind, being normal, being horny. Did you, did you, did you lose horniness during the pandemic? Oh, first half, I was having the best sex of my life.

Speaker 2 Although we were only, Brian and I hadn't been together that long, so it was like a fuck fest. And then the past two years, I was on so many antidepressants.

Speaker 2 I was just dried, shrivel, shrivel, shrivel. And then now I'm getting my groove back, as they say.
Isn't that interesting? I also feel I'm getting my horny groove. Really? Yeah.
Are you H?

Speaker 2 I'm H, and I'm medicated. Yeah.
2.5 milligrams of Lexopro a day that you're not going to.

Speaker 2 I got my little Pilcata.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no. The minimum dose, the smallest dose they come in is five.

Speaker 2 And and i have to i have oh wow because that five zaps me down yeah really yeah i was on 10 and it was not good five i felt kind of amazing yeah and then i went to ten thinking oh this is a quote-unquote real dose yeah and i was getting more depressed i think because i like couldn't feel my body okay

Speaker 2 it's so

Speaker 2 and i need to feel my penis to feel like matt rogers i i just do yeah i can't be myself if i don't have access to my dick i'm on 10 of pro

Speaker 2 and i i mean here's what happens every like six months, I'll be like, this isn't doing anything. Stop taking it.
Start crying. Start taking it again.

Speaker 2 Life's a roller coaster.

Speaker 2 I keep actually, I actually have to stop. I keep going up to people in their face and going, that's so sweet.
I don't know if it's. I love that.
How do you think it started? I'm so happy.

Speaker 2 How do you think it started, this behavior? I just want to, I just love everyone right now. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 You know what I've been doing, and I don't know where it came from? I wink at people and

Speaker 2 I say, my love. My love.

Speaker 2 I call everyone my love and I wink. My love is tough.
My love's worse than lover, I think. Lover.

Speaker 2 By the way, to answer your question, who was afraid of letting me? So I leaned past the garden and I went

Speaker 2 down to the street. Now I'm going through the garden and I rip it away.
She had a lot of gardens in her song. I fucking love, you know, I fucking love her.
Of course.

Speaker 2 I mean, you know that I'm seeing her a sixth time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where? Miami. Have you seen it yet? Have you seen her story yet? Yeah, I went in Denver, Colorado.
Same. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 And you you all know where to go with the same i think we were like on instagram stories being like where are you

Speaker 2 yeah and then the stadium being so big yes it was so wonderful oh i just concert now do you guys this is a question we always come back to on a little podcast i like to call sec treatment but we always come back to this question do you think kelsey's end game oh what do i think do you think kelsey is end game i think so so do i i think kelsey is end game In terms of every intention that they have right now.

Speaker 2 I don't know what craziness goes on at that level of celebrity at that height. Like what could happen, what does happen.
But I think

Speaker 2 I think they're going for it.

Speaker 2 Do you think she's going to have a babe? I think she is. I think album 13 is going to be the pregnancy, the baby album.
I would love to watch her and learn from her. Why do you say album 13?

Speaker 2 Is that just because you think that's the third?

Speaker 2 So you think there will be a 12 that is like a different era that we don't know. Maybe? Oh, wait, so we're at 11? We're at 11.
Oh, there's going to be a 12. So 12 has to come first, obviously.

Speaker 2 Famously. How did you think of that?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 I think she's going to do 12 and it's going to be something. 13 is not only going to be baby album, but it's going to be back to like country, like first debut vibes.
Okay, well, it makes sense.

Speaker 2 I think 12. I think the next album has to be, because she's probably tired as fuck.

Speaker 2 I'm worried about. He's nodding.
He's like, hell yeah. You think she's tired? Yeah.
Who wouldn't be? Who wouldn't be? I'm like, what's going to happen? I'm like, when the tour ends, like. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What do you think she's going to? She's going to. It's going to be so intense.
That's such an intense feeling.

Speaker 2 She's worried about her no no no she's gonna go into like death valley and let out an hour-long fart it's gonna be such a relief she hasn't farted in two years

Speaker 2 i don't do that i bet travis farts in front of her all the time and do you think how how long do you think it took taylor swift to stop being like stop i think

Speaker 2 or do you think she thinks it's fucking rad there's a clip there's a little snippet of them I forgot like who released it, but it was like one of them.

Speaker 2 It was either Taylor or Travis released it, but it's like Taylor's cooking, like babysitting like a stove top. And he just sneaks up behind her and kisses her on the cheek.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, okay, I don't care. Like, that's real.
That's real love. Mary J.
Blige. 100%.
You know what I mean? Of course. I believe it's real.
Of course it is. Do you guys believe in love? Yes.

Speaker 2 Oh, me too.

Speaker 2 But it's hard sometimes. What would you bring back from

Speaker 2 Edinburgh? What do you miss the most? What did I bring back? What would you bring back culturally from Edinburgh? Oh my God. I mean, for me, I just love,

Speaker 2 I love the vibes, the haunted city, the beautiful architecture, the weather. I love like, that's why I'm happy to come back to autumn.
And I love being singularly focused on a task at hand.

Speaker 2 So every day you sleep late, you're so, it's Broadway. It's like you're like every day, like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Good. What about y'all? I mean, this is literally my job.

Speaker 2 What's going on with you? Oh, I just, I'll talk to you. The train.
I'll talk to me later. The train for sure.

Speaker 2 It's the train, isn't it? Defo, the train. Yeah, we'll talk.
We'll talk. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is it work? Yeah, it's like works. Yeah, it's work stuff.
Work sucks, I know.

Speaker 2 She left me roses by the stairs. Surprises left me at what she gazed.

Speaker 2 She left me roses by the stairs. Wait, do you remember this though?

Speaker 2 Do you remember Wow? Wait, that was so good. Yeah.
Hammer Cats.

Speaker 2 Mystery box. He can whipple.
What is the other one, though?

Speaker 2 Danger box. Okay, so that's actually so close.
So you were really close. Very close.
Danger box, hammer cats.

Speaker 2 Ah!

Speaker 2 Maybe a more iconic duo. I'll wait.

Speaker 2 I'll fucking wait. What were you going to say? What do I remember? I wanted, wait, I had a deep urge to ask you what your spiritual feelings are on Sabrina Carpenter, because I do feel like.

Speaker 2 Obviously, I want to open for her. I think we're a matchmate in heaven.
Literally, I was thinking the same thing. Sabrina? Comedy like that.
I think I should open for you on your tour.

Speaker 2 I think you would die for me and I would take a bullet for you. She's fabulous.
She's fabulous. I think you're a little bit Chappell.
You're a little bit Charlie. You're a little bit Sabrina.

Speaker 2 You're actually all three. She's so nice.
I feel connected to them all three spiritually. You are the white beam of light that refracts the prism.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. That's so beautiful.
Occasion.

Speaker 2 Because you have Charlie. You have Charlie, I think, like impact.

Speaker 2 You have Chapel Energy. And you have Sabrina POV.
Yeah. Oh, thank you.
That's.

Speaker 2 And in 2024, you can do anything with that. Yeah.
Is that what we're almost done with that one, right? Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yes.
Let's like, I think we're, we're firmly, we're right on Q4.

Speaker 2 I don't care about time and and space are you about to do mariah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah is that what she says she doesn't believe in time

Speaker 2 so mariah says that yeah how do you not know this like when people i like ask her her age or people like you're like this so it's been like this long since this album she's like i don't believe in time i think she doesn't believe in saying her age but um yeah well she knows she's famously nocturnal Oh, really?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Like you.
Oh, no, no. You wake up early.
No, you. You sleep a lot.
I'm neither. My perfect world, I sleep 12 to 14 a night.
You're like Dakota Johnson. Adore.
Adore. Adore.

Speaker 2 Every time she has a new headline, I go, that's my girl. Yeah.
She gets it. She hits it.
Wait, I think her and Chris Martin broke up. Did they? Did they now? Yeah.

Speaker 2 That doesn't really make me feel anything. What do you guys feel? I wished them the best, but I think the vibes seemed off.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, he must be a lot older, huh? I don't trust any man who wants attention. Oh.
Leo. Oh, I bet we can find out that he's a Leo.
Let's find out. What is Chris Martin's Martin's astrological sign?

Speaker 2 What Leos were you hating on? Bed Affleck

Speaker 2 and Sean Mendez. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay, I did this crazy thing. Did you, when it came out, watch the JLo documentary?

Speaker 2 People scare.

Speaker 2 Does that mean anything to you? People scare? People scared. What does that mean? There's a part in the J-Lo documentary where she's going.

Speaker 2 She doesn't go like Courtney Kardashian. People are scared.

Speaker 2 Is Courtney Kardashian going to be in it? And she goes, no. And she goes, oh, and she goes, people scared.

Speaker 2 People scared. People scared me.
Because no one wanted to do it it. So I watched it again.
People scared.

Speaker 2 And people scared. Two days ago, I watched it again.
I don't know why, but to sort of understand like exactly what she was saying now that it's all over and stuff.

Speaker 2 It is fucking devastating what happened with them.

Speaker 2 If you watch that documentary now, because she's sobbing the whole time about how it's like, about how hard it was the first time they broke up and like how it's like made her believe in love again.

Speaker 2 And that's why she's doing this is so people can believe in love and like it's rescued her, et cetera.

Speaker 2 And like it's her best friend and what was so hard about the first time was losing her best friend and now it's like he's done this to her again so what is happening because as someone who just watched game of thrones i'm a little behind on news what we need is a dracaris on all leo men is is so i'm gonna speak your language he ended it yeah he ended it although she is by all appearances doing great she is posting on insta what's she posting summer carousel the caption is oh it was a summer and then there's a picture of her kind of tongue-in-cheek it looks like a photoshopped shirt she's in bloom and unbothered, out of reach, and at peace.

Speaker 2 Like

Speaker 2 too many words going on there. It's a little bit salady.
Title of Up. Title of Up.
Title of Up. She's in Bloom and Unbothered.
In Bloom and Unbothered. In Bloom and Unbothered.
In Bloom.

Speaker 2 Chris Martin's Pisces, by the way. I'm sorry.
Oh, but I like a Pisces. Okay, attack on my own.
You know,

Speaker 2 I have to shout out a new pop girl I'm obsessed with. Who? Maude Latour.
Maude Latour. Maude Latour.
Maude Latour is someone I admired on TikTok and then became friends with.

Speaker 2 And her new album, Sugar Water, is so good.

Speaker 2 Listen, listen, queue it up. I had to plug that while I'm here because I was listening to it on the walk here.
I was like,

Speaker 2 Mod Latour is getting playoffs. You're going to love it.
Wait, you know, who I also saw you post about who I fucking love is Gracie. Great.
Gracie's my girl. I love you.
I'm sorry. Babe.

Speaker 2 Gracie is my girl. I owe her my firstborn because she got me the Eros tour ticket.
Oh, did she really? When I see her open for Taylor, she crushed it, obviously. Yes.
I'm upset with her. I love you.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. I've listened to that every second of every day for the past.
Something about leaving London as the summer turned to fall two Augusts ago. I was like, I know.

Speaker 2 It's really good. She's a genius.
She's really good. And I was reading like a review of the first album.

Speaker 2 I was like, I had like deep dive on Gracie. Hi, Gracie.
But she

Speaker 2 sings in this way that was described as an angry whisper. And I was like, that is what it is.
It's beautiful. It's just like really...

Speaker 2 controlled and like very emotional like register that she sings in. That's actually not like that like affect that a lot of the girls have.
It's actually specific and really fun and like emotional.

Speaker 2 And I just really like the way that she

Speaker 2 does her thing. And her writing is great.
I love risk. Risk is incredible.
Risk to me was the moment that she like broke out. Yeah.
It's so good. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's not, she's not doing the cursive singing thing in the way that people who like derogatorily use that term. Is that what it's called? Cursive.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's so funny.

Speaker 2 Let me ask, what's your favorite track on the new Sabrina? If you feel safe, if you feel safe. It changes every day.
Juno.

Speaker 2 I'm a don't smile girl.

Speaker 2 Bed Chem. I'm not going to lie.
I listen to Sharpest Tool

Speaker 2 every second of every day and taste. My favorite hasn't been mentioned yet.
Is it Esther Rest?

Speaker 2 Oh, I love it. It's a Joni song.
It's Ladies of the Canyon. It's like.
It's and the bridge. What a surprise.

Speaker 2 It's your cousin.

Speaker 2 Melodically, she's fucking cool. She's fucking cool melodically.
Yeah, I said it. You are Sabrina.
I'm Sabrina with brown hair. With brown and rap.
That's what makes you a little bit of.

Speaker 2 Your sweater is Chapel.

Speaker 2 Your hair is Charlie. And what's inside of you, your heart, is Sabrina.
And at the end of the day, I'm just kidding. You know,

Speaker 2 wait, what song is getting disrespected again and again and again on Sabrina's album? Dumb and Poetic. Yeah, Dumb and Poetic, I feel, doesn't get the shine.

Speaker 2 I think maybe because it exists and like, it's like in the 10 spot on the album or something or like nine or ten. People feel called out by it, I think.

Speaker 2 Oh, good. Like you've read every self-help book, like jacking off to lyrics by Leonard Cohen.
Like this is a lot of people. Promise the mushrooms aren't saving your life.

Speaker 2 That's going to make a lot of 25-year-old men. Speaking of Joe Watch the Valley.
Yes. Yes.
So I watched it because I'm new to the Vanderpump universe.

Speaker 2 And the best thing I've, maybe the best thing I've ever seen on TV was when the guy in the hat comes back from the ayahuasca retreat. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 I was like, this is the, I was like, comedy over because this is the only funny thing I've ever seen. Yep.
He was like, he put on a different costume to tell his wife who wants him dead in a ditch.

Speaker 2 Michelle, yeah. She is Michelle.
A demon, by the way. Is she? She's, I just get the sense that she's.

Speaker 2 Oh, I think that the director that she fucked is Quentin Tarantino, by the way. I found that out.
That's juicy. Right? Yeah.
I didn't think that's Quentin. I would.

Speaker 2 Remember, like in the show, like, she's like, whatever. I've like, yeah, she's against selling a house to a guy.
To a guy, like a Hollywood, like a cool Hollywood guy. And it's allegedly Quentin.

Speaker 2 And I Googled. I was like, who could this be? Like some

Speaker 2 amazing actor. And I was like, oh, it's Quentin.

Speaker 2 You just Googled it. I googled it and that came up.
Oh, so this is ready.

Speaker 2 This is out there. And I'm like, L-O-L, this girl is so funny.
Okay, but talk about the guy. What's his name again? Jesse.
Jesse. Jesse Lally.

Speaker 2 Lally? Lally. Yeah, and Kai Shazam.

Speaker 2 You make me want to Lally.

Speaker 2 This is my disease. I'm super horned up for him.
Well, that's what I need to fix. He is physically attractive.
And then when he starts being how he is, it's over.

Speaker 2 But when he comes in in the beanie and he's like, yeah, the beanie, I've changed. Yeah.
I was like, this is the best thing I've ever seen on television.

Speaker 2 But that reminds me of the mushrooms are not changing your life. Well, that's that type of guy.

Speaker 2 If you don't call them out at 25, then all of a sudden they'll become a 40-year-old man that you have kids with who is going to be doing this.

Speaker 2 And she's sitting there being like, right, I married and bred with this man. Very.
And I actually didn't like her at all all season until the last episode. What did she?

Speaker 2 In the last episode, it was like post her filing for divorce divorce or whatever. And she basically was just like, I'm not dealing with you anymore.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Like the wishy-washiness the whole time because she so clearly didn't want to be with him. Yeah.
But like still being in it and like allowing him to think he had a chance.

Speaker 2 I was like, Mama, like cut it. Like he, it's, he's not the one for you.
We all know.

Speaker 2 And then when she started to be real at the end, it was like, he would say some shitty thing and she'd be like, nope.

Speaker 2 Nope. I was like, this girl I'm interested in watching on TV.
Okay. Okay.
I'm listening. I'm reframing.

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Ah.

Speaker 2 No, you go. I was going to say, what drugs do you guys like?

Speaker 2 I might be on a break with... Speaking of mushrooms, I might be on a break with psychedelics.
I'm like, I don't feel the

Speaker 2 pull. The vava voice.
The rush. I feel the rush.
Addicted to your touch. Um, I'm even on a break with weed.
I think I'm gonna like go a little

Speaker 2 so when did your break start? Because we smoked weed like the other day. I know, but I'm saying, like, that was like the last time.
It's over. That was the last time.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 What you okay, Matt has like an Mario, but y'all are fighting today. No, I'm not fighting.
A little bit. He's he's squinting and glaring a little bit.

Speaker 2 I just think it's funny that you said you're on a break with weed. We smoked weed the other day.

Speaker 2 I'm done.

Speaker 2 I'm done with

Speaker 2 the weed, with the alcohol.

Speaker 2 really alcohol has been has definitely reduced yeah well as you can see we're in we now have a new fixation well this is an amazing no problem this is like this is really good for you die

Speaker 2 oh my oh wow i didn't even see that oh i just got back from from london so y'all did you can tell us what that is that's why i noticed y'all have canadian european diet cooks i have gross american well i think that there's a bunch floating hey hey are you okay you don't have this that's so sorry that's so sorry that's so sorry I love you.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 No, I celebrate your brand new break for marijuana.

Speaker 2 I wonder how long it can last because I have the same desire. And then, like, you do start to get a little bit of the itch.
Like, I feel like marijuana is one that's hard to give up for some reason.

Speaker 2 We just got to sit alone with our thoughts and be okay. Well, that's not the best.
That's the hard part.

Speaker 2 Embrace. Really? Yeah.
Do I journal? No, I should. I was thinking maybe I'd start again, buckle up, just let it rip.
Did it help the last time?

Speaker 2 The last time I journaled, I was going through the worst pain and time of my life, and it did nothing. No, I'm saying, but I'm like, it doesn't do shit.

Speaker 2 Well, you know, it's not necessarily supposed to help in the moment. Sometimes it's just writing down what it is that you're feeling, and then you can look at it later and help parse it out.

Speaker 2 Like, that's been my experience. It's like all the raw shit I wrote down when I was really feeling bad that wasn't working in the moment.

Speaker 2 It was kind of like I looked back later and then it was able to make sense. So sometimes it's just about like logging what it is you're feeling

Speaker 2 just so you can look at it later. My hand's so slow next to my head.
Isn't that the truth? Right. I go,

Speaker 2 what's going on up here? Brilliant. What comes out here? Garbage.
Slow garbage. Garbaggio.
I know. I got to get back to the.

Speaker 2 You got to get back to the type. I got to start thinking of some new ideas.
We're losing handwriting. We are.

Speaker 2 And but look, it's it's a beautiful rediscovery if you like, you're like, that's how I write my T's.

Speaker 2 How good does it feel? Even now, even now, to get a perfect pen and like test out a little bit. And what do you always write? Because I always go, hey.

Speaker 2 I always write H-T-Y. What do you say? I do my signature.
Oh, that's nice. Okay.
I don't have a locked SIG. You don't? I haven't locked it.
I think I haven't locked mine either. Really?

Speaker 2 Well, you've been signing for a while. Wait, someone got a pay petitive.
I've been signing for a while. Have you been signing for

Speaker 2 how long now? 10 years? How long have you been signing? How long have you been on SNL? Because I can't remember. five six no i'm going to my seventh overall that's amazing

Speaker 2 okay we're gonna we're gonna lock do what you think your signature is are we locking

Speaker 2 or commenting what i think it is i've had the same one for years

Speaker 2 the thing is you can't think you have to lock no no don't do it the pressure of locking oh oh okay well now what

Speaker 2 well now what we're trying to lock signatures here here we go here we go should i get married oh wait wait

Speaker 2 i got distracted.

Speaker 2 Honestly, that's kind of what I do, though. That's honestly what I do.

Speaker 2 I go big C and then another C and then kind of like just let it. Can I tell you that is actually basically Celine Dean's signature? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Famously.

Speaker 2 She's one of those artists that, like, almost all of her albums have her signature on the cover. Oh, that's funny.
Should I do that?

Speaker 2 That's Catherine. I'm going to do mine undercats.
Oh, sorry, I made mine so big. No, no, no.
It's okay. I was trying to.
Hancock of you. I'm trying to take up space.
Sorry, Leo. Let me see.

Speaker 2 Let me do one more. No, no, let me do one more.
That That looks like Ray-Ban. No, I don't.
I think it says Ray-Ban. Well, you can't say that when you sign the Declaration of Independence.

Speaker 2 You can't say, can I get another one? They wouldn't invite me to that. But they made it a Ray-Ban.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Here's me. Mr.
R.

Speaker 2 Mickey Mouse. What does that say? That's beautiful.
If the whole time I was signing my signature at Mickey Mouse and no one called me out. At Disney World, they used to do autograph books.
Yep.

Speaker 2 And then I will never forget, I think the moment I turned gay was going up to Mulan at the China Pavilion at Epcot.

Speaker 2 And she was in like the whole like matchmaking, like, please bring honor to us all, geese.

Speaker 2 And I gave her the book. She signed it Mulan, just like in the, in the logo of the movie.
And then she,

Speaker 2 and I just stared at this like kiss print for years. Do you know what's so funny? My memory of Mulan

Speaker 2 is I remember a really falling into a really deep depression because I saw it in theaters and I go, I remember like pacing the hallways of my home. I must have been what, like seven seven or eight?

Speaker 2 I don't know. Pacing the hallways and going, I can't believe how long it will be before I can watch Mulan at home.
Oh my god. And I was like, you loved it that much.

Speaker 2 I loved it, but I was like, I was just like learning what like, like my first depressive episodes were in that home and just being like, when will I ever, ever feel the joy of Mulan again?

Speaker 2 Like being just like so, I should be like pacing the hallway, hands on the walls like, where is Mulan? This is incredible. It's one of the best movies of all time.
It is.

Speaker 2 And y'all know that I had an experience recently at Disney because you know I've never really been before. What was your experience?

Speaker 2 Talk about your Tower of Terror triggered my period, which I hadn't had in eight months because of my disorder. Shout out to the girls with my P shout out to my PCOS girls.

Speaker 2 I don't get, so I was on the Tower of Terror. I literally, first of all, I go absolutely silent.

Speaker 2 It's not called that anymore, but it should be, so get over it. And don't forget to go to the bottom.
Was this Florida or Anaheim? I will not go to Florida by choice. So I was in California.

Speaker 2 So you were in the Guardians of the Galaxy. I was in, sure, but it's Tower of Terror.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go, I go completely limp.
I'm completely silent.

Speaker 2 i'm like no i walk off mind you i haven't had a period in almost one calendar year all of a sudden i'm like

Speaker 2 i do i do a quick check blood oh no

Speaker 2 i go to our sweet sweet guide i go i go this is so crazy but do you have a tamp she goes of course oh my gosh

Speaker 2 she goes of course the bathrooms are all stocked with free supplies amazing so shout out that's amazing shout out walt do you remember her name the guide she you know what she remembers bleep it bleep it for her she remembers her name it was

Speaker 2 she was it was

Speaker 2 it was it was lemon

Speaker 2 it was lemon bleep it do you know it was lemon maloney i think lemon maloney it was mrs girl i feel that maybe that mulan may have remembered you years later when we went back really no it was a different mulan well because i was it was canonically mulan though how often do you go in the world where we're not breaking the the fantasy that was mulan

Speaker 2 you're right how often do we go a couple times a year okay we were yeah i'd say that's about fair like in the totality of the parks, it doesn't matter where the park is.

Speaker 2 Matt living in LA, I think, has access to it in a way that I don't. Well, I

Speaker 2 by being closer to it. Closer to it.

Speaker 2 And that gives you the access. I went with you a few weeks ago, and then before that, I hadn't been in quite some time.

Speaker 2 But no, but

Speaker 2 do you want to tell everybody? The great story is that we went with Dave Mazzoni. We were about on about a metric ton of mushrooms.

Speaker 2 No, not mushrooms. Weed.

Speaker 2 Weed rice crispy. Rice Krispie treats

Speaker 2 that have turned us into soup. So we walked up to the China Pavilion, and wouldn't you know it? Mulan was greeting guests that day.

Speaker 2 She was actually courting visitors. So we said, can we go see her? And she had no line, which racism.
I think it was racism at play.

Speaker 2 Because you look over at Ana and Elsa, and it's around the corner. Crazy.
Get out. Never seen it, never will.

Speaker 2 Never seen

Speaker 2 but would love to work

Speaker 2 with them.

Speaker 2 No, I've never seen it. Never seen it, never will, but would love to work.
I don't watch movies for kids. But you don't have kids in your life who are like obsessed with you.
I don't know any kids.

Speaker 2 Okay. This is so special.
I don't. I love it.
You got to watch Frozen. I'm not going to watch that.
Okay. What am I going to go home and watch it? Yeah.
I got a life. No, no.
Not really.

Speaker 2 Finish the story because you get along a plane. You're going to go past Paris.

Speaker 2 Maybe on the long. Tell me.
So here's what's going to happen in the story that I'm going to tell. So Mulan

Speaker 2 sees me, Dave, and Bowen. And we take pictures with her.
We actually assume the position. We like pose.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 And then she turns to us and and she goes, you will be amazing warriors. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 You will be

Speaker 2 amazing. Yes, she did.

Speaker 2 What do you mean that she did not say that? What did she say? Now what's going to happen is lots of readers are going to be like, yes, that is what she said. That is the line.
But what did she say?

Speaker 2 Because we were so stoned,

Speaker 2 the

Speaker 2 sort of... Mandela effect thing that's going on here is that I...
I feel like I'm going crazy. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 She said something, but it was because you were saying, you were repeating this over and over again. And I was dying, crying, laughing because

Speaker 2 I don't know why, but she did not say that. You will be amazing warriors.
She said that. First of all, why wouldn't she say that? That feels like a line they would give Mulan to tell the guests.

Speaker 2 You will be amazing warriors. Like we did a, we did a post.
She was like, we have to do the fighting post. She's like, she did the fighting post.
And we did. And then she looked at us afterwards.

Speaker 2 And the line that the cast member was clearly given, which she said was, you will be amazing warriors. And maybe she didn't want to say it.

Speaker 2 I did the dropped-in way that I'm giving it, but she definitely said, you will be amazing warriors, at least something.

Speaker 2 I mean, not to bring up this word, but it is so demure the way you are doing it. That's that's the dropped-in way.
It's hard. Yeah.
I think she wanted to like shoo us away.

Speaker 2 She was like, get these gay guys away. No, but she loved you.
Maybe she was a fan. Do you identify as demure or brat?

Speaker 2 I'm like,

Speaker 2 okay. Okay,

Speaker 2 I'm not going to ask your Gen Z friend. What's her her name?

Speaker 2 First of all, I know what both things are.

Speaker 2 I'm part of the conversation. I wish I was Brad, but I'm not, obviously.

Speaker 2 I don't think you're anything. I'm asleep.
I'm asleep. Which is not even demure.
And I can't bump that. I can't.
I am not bumping that. Right.

Speaker 2 I'm not legally allowed to have cocaine because I have a heart condition. You're not missing anything.
I tried it once.

Speaker 2 Don't repeat that. That's okay.
Don't repeat that. Literally everyone in this room has tried it once.
Okay, so I'm a loser.

Speaker 2 Cocaine addicts everywhere.

Speaker 2 You guys think I'm a loser. Everyone here thinks I'm a loser.

Speaker 2 That's not one of the drugs we like.

Speaker 2 It's not. No.
No. So trendy, though.
Is it? I'm in that.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Fentanyl is out there.
It really is. You can't be having that.
I can't. No, I don't like that.
Wait, am I demure? Could be. Probably.
A little bit. Sure.
I'm definitely deafo.

Speaker 2 You know what I always think of with you is a word you introduced me to in 1991. Yes.

Speaker 2 Let me guess. Yes.
It's a really beautiful word. And it's one of my favorites.
Jejune. Jejune.
I knew it. I knew because I know.
Jejune. It's such a cacko word.
It's such a good word.

Speaker 2 And I always think of you in the annoyance basement.

Speaker 2 Going, Jejune. There was a period of time where that was his favorite word.

Speaker 2 And he will do that. You will sort of find a word that now you have to do that.
Do you have one right now?

Speaker 2 I don't think so. Yeah, I know.
It'll come. Recently, this word keeps coming, but it has its seasons, and it has a dark origin story.
Which is what? Well, the word is. You will be amazing, Warren.

Speaker 2 You will be amazing, Warren. Amazing.
The word is imprimatur. No, I don't know what that is.
It means like name. It means like the Cat Cohen imprimatur.

Speaker 2 It's like the seek treatment imprimatur. It's like that, that's like the name recognition.
Okay.

Speaker 2 That's like your, your, your what's brought this one back?

Speaker 2 Taylor Shift Reputation. Nothing.
I just, it pops back in my head, and I'm like, oh, like, that's

Speaker 2 his imprimatur. Imprimater.

Speaker 2 But the origin story is

Speaker 2 when

Speaker 2 the first season of Celebrity Apprentice was out

Speaker 2 and Ivanka Trump was one of the sort of people who sat next to Donald. You can call them judges, I am.
Judges, she was doing press, and I was like captivated by Ivanka. Wow.

Speaker 2 I was like, this woman is so amazing.

Speaker 2 I was like 17 years old. Oh my God.
I was like, this woman, and this is before Trump was Trump. I was like, this, I mean, whatever, whatever that means.
But I was like, this woman's amazing.

Speaker 2 And then she was in interviews being like, well, that's my father's in primater and i was like oh that's the most beautiful word i've ever heard in my life from the most beautiful woman and now look where we are yeah i think it's because people sort of normalized her and like and they do to this day they call her beautiful they say what she says is beautiful they say everyone should say

Speaker 2 she kissed the sig the autograph book can i ask y'all something

Speaker 2 What's your Rosenthorne of the summer? Oh my God, we just did this last episode. We literally just

Speaker 2 Now that it's post-labor, I was like, we need to unpack the summer. We could give another one because I don't even know if we necessarily announce.
Who did you have on Last Up? Nobody. Your

Speaker 2 first guest in

Speaker 2 our entire summer was just us. That's fun.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 All the time I wonder, like, how do you guys record? Is it all on Zoom? When are you ever here? We've been together a lot. That's nice.
Yeah. It's so fucking hard, isn't it? So hard.
It is hard.

Speaker 2 You guys fully on different coasts now. Yeah, it's hard.
It's crazy. So then I'm like, what have I been saying for five years?

Speaker 2 Oh, you mean hard in terms of like hosting a podcast still? I just meant like doing it every week, but then I was, then I thought, like, and what am I even saying when I get on?

Speaker 2 But, like, we, like, we are like dinosaurs

Speaker 2 in the industry. Y'all invented it for me because y'all were even, y'all were way before Seek Treat.
But like, Seek Treat is like, I know. We've been doing it a while.
We are like, it's crazy.

Speaker 2 We are not too young. No.
Do you know what I mean? But I don't, as someone who doesn't believe in time and space.

Speaker 2 And Mariah, so I know you're too young. I go back and forth.
I go back and forth. Sometimes I'm like, it depends on what area of my life I'm in.
Yeah. Professionally, I still feel pretty young.

Speaker 2 Personally, I'm starting to feel old. Really? I feel like I'm just getting started, boys.

Speaker 2 We are all young. Your age.

Speaker 2 If you're age, you're young. Yeah.
Yeah. I think that's corny.
Corny. Yeah.
Yeah. It just depends on the day.
Wait, so you were saying Rose and Thorne. Rose and Thorne.
Rose was.

Speaker 2 I went on a lot of trips. That was fun.
That was kind of like the one thing I craved all year. Which trip was your favorite? Which trip was my favorite? I liked this most recent Fire Island one.

Speaker 2 Oh, nice. It was.
And then Thorne was,

Speaker 2 this is so irrelevant, but because of those trips, like I was not settled into home as much as I, I feel like I missed out on a lot of New York summer. Yeah.
And that's okay.

Speaker 2 For me, I think it was great. Rose, well, we, I'm trying to say something different than we just said because my rose that I said last week was swimming in Sicily.
Oh, oh, oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Have you been? I've never been to Sicily.

Speaker 2 Should I? So basically, like, it's so gorgeous. Getting there is kind of hard.
Where do you fly from where? You fly into Boston.

Speaker 2 You take a tiny plane from Boston.

Speaker 2 What is it called?

Speaker 2 Catania, Dolores. Well, okay.
So Katania Cohen.

Speaker 2 They've all heard this already, but a volcano exploded and made our flight delayed, et cetera. So we get there late.
We all went together. We went together with a few friends.

Speaker 2 And we were having the most amazing time. And then I'm swimming in Sicily in the seas, and I get stung by a jellyfish.
So, that was a rose in the thorn.

Speaker 2 Actually, literally, in the same moment, in the same moment. And how life is that? Because it was like being in the sea.
And how life is that? How life is that? How life is that? Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 And does someone go pissy on it?

Speaker 2 You're not supposed to do that. What? Yeah.
You find out it's a myth because it'll make it worse. Yeah.
How life is that? How life is that? How life is that? Learning a lesson.

Speaker 2 Learning a lesson is how life is that. Wait, y'all do so many fun group trips.
Yeah. Do girls do that? Yeah.
I want to go on one. One of my friends.
I go, invite me.

Speaker 2 One of my friends, friends, Melissa, recently goes, like, sometimes I want to go on your gay trips. Yeah.
And I was just like, I completely get that.

Speaker 2 And I think that one thing I've been like going over in my brain is like, when we were like younger, we didn't get to have like close gay male friends at all.

Speaker 2 And so I think that's why sometimes it can feel a little bit like, especially for like the women that we're close to that are like feeling like quote unquote left out of things. Not friends.

Speaker 2 No, I'm sorry. I'm like, that looks so fun.
Like, I'd love to be able to get it. I've heard this before from our close female friends too.

Speaker 2 Like, I mean, like, and, and I sometimes sometimes I'm like I get why it feels that way but also there is something to the fact of we did not get to literally have each other at all until we were in our 20s yeah so it's kind of nice to feel like we're making up for lost time in that regard because you know like girl little girls could have sleepovers together they could be like girls only you know they can do whatever and like gay men didn't yeah yeah fair enough yeah I never want my life to become like couple centric I feel like so many like straight women it's like all of a sudden they're just like we do everything like as a a couple and then in a couple.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, I want to have like friends forever. No, 100%.
I want to have a million friends forever. How life is that? How life is that? You want like checks mix of friends.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I just want life to always be

Speaker 2 couples exclusivity is annoying. And that reminds me of the Valley 2.
Oh. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 When they all went on the couples trip and then, like, oh, the fucking baby moon. The baby moon.

Speaker 2 First of all, I'm a Janet apologist. Hey, I haven't made up my mind on Janet.
I'm praying for her.

Speaker 2 I mean, Kristen is tough. Kristen is the best.
I love Kristen. Kristen is the greatest character of all time on TV.
Have you ever seen anything like it? No.

Speaker 2 I can't believe it. I can't believe it.
Moments in my moment. Also, what do you think of Luke?

Speaker 2 Well, I have to say that I, now that I've finished my VPR Valley journey, I've been diving into SUP, Sexy Unique Pod with Carrie and Laura. And I am laughing.
I'm L-M-A-F-O-ing.

Speaker 2 The way they talk about Luke and Dodie, as they say, it makes me like, so I'll just, I won't even bother because they, if you want to listen to that, just go, you have to to go check it out.

Speaker 2 But what are they saying about Luke and Doty? They're just always talking about like Colorado culture. And it's very hard.

Speaker 2 I looked at Luke and I'm like, this is so cookie cutter. Triggering.
Yeah. Yeah.
It must be for you. Is your family still there? Parents are still there.
Doing the damn thing. Zooing the dinner.

Speaker 2 Remember when you came to my parents'

Speaker 2 dinner table?

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. Are we ever so young?

Speaker 2 I know. I think he's since.
I'm sorry. It's okay.
We had a special bond. How life is that?

Speaker 2 How life is that dog's passing away? Is it absolutely hell on earth? A dog in the city for you and Brian.

Speaker 2 I would love to have a dog in the city. Would y'all want a dog?

Speaker 2 This fucking close. That would be really good.
I think it'd be so good for our brains. Yes.
And it gets you out of bed and it gets you in bed and it gets you. And it keeps you accountable.

Speaker 2 It keeps you a counterbrand. And look at this one.
Oh, wait, I don't have my phone, but I'll show you. So the issue is that my brother has this amazing dog.

Speaker 2 And you know, of course, my brothers both live in my building. They do? They did.
They're both moving out. It's very sad.
But I'm losing the dog in the moon. Oh, bugger.

Speaker 2 So I think Brian and and i will will adopt soon yes because you can't get a cat i'm allergic period and i don't like oh my god did you hear that period

Speaker 2 that's so funny that's so funny oh matt oh that's good oh matt write that down that's good No, I want to ask for your turn. I really want to write it down.

Speaker 2 Is it a secret or has it been announced?

Speaker 2 I actually don't care that it hasn't been.

Speaker 2 I am going on tour and it will be

Speaker 2 announced in a couple weeks.

Speaker 2 I can't bet. But there's a twist.
There's a little bit of a twist. What's the twist?

Speaker 2 What's the secret? You boycott. That part I'm going to keep a secret.
Okay, y'all naughty. But it's also not that much of a twist.
Watch when I reveal that it's I'm blonde. No, it's more than that.

Speaker 2 Wow. You know who went blonde recently? Mary Beth Rowan went blonde recently.
Yeah. I was like, dude, I go is in my time.
Can I tell you something? What? You haven't said anything about my hair.

Speaker 2 I feel like it was always like that. Is that new? You haven't said anything about the fact that I'm blonde.
I feel like you've been blonde.

Speaker 2 And you're supposed to, you, Catherine Cohen, are supposed to say something to me, Matt Rogers, about my hand. I'm sorry about that, but I always thought you were blonde.
The blonde has been.

Speaker 2 Haven't you been blonde before recently? Four months. I look at my phone.
I see you blonde.

Speaker 2 Because I have been in the phone blonde a lot. Oh, that's right.
You've been in the phone blonde. I'm sorry.
That's why I didn't say anything. I see you in the phone blonde.
I'm kidding.

Speaker 2 I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding.
I'm kidding. I'm not kidding.
Freudian slur.

Speaker 2 Paging Dr. Freud.
Do you like it? I love it. Thank you.
It's fabulous. How often do you have to do it? Every five weeks.
Five weeks is such a random amount of time. Yeah.
Not quite a month.

Speaker 2 Not quite a month. Not quite a year.

Speaker 2 The goldilocks of time. Yeah, every month.
Oh, yeah. Five weeks.
Are you straightened right now? You're straightened right now. I gave myself a little blowout this morning.

Speaker 2 I want to say that the Revlon brush has changed my life. Girls, y'all know.
And you have hair perfume in. Someone sent me a beautiful gift and it was something called hair perfume.
Hair perfume.

Speaker 2 Hair perfume. And I go, okay, so it's perfume.
But it is called hair perfume and it smells unbelievable. It's Biredo.
Oh, we love that. Can they send us stuff? Hey, hey, can y'all send us stuff?

Speaker 2 By Rito. Have y'all worked with them? Uh, have we? They've worked my wallet.

Speaker 2 I've bought it. Don't ever make me laugh like that again.

Speaker 2 Okay, deal.

Speaker 2 Um, I have bought so much product, and their staff at all their retail locations are the most severe, intimidating, wonderful people. Oh,

Speaker 2 it's good, though. They should be like that.
They should be like that. Although I did go to a,

Speaker 2 it's not like when you walk into a diptych, the vibes are sweet. So

Speaker 2 everyone's loving it. I actually disagree.
There's a dick, dip. There's a diptych to this.
There's a dip, Dr. Freud.
There's a diptych on bleaker where they weren't charmed by me. Oh, that one's in.

Speaker 2 That one's intense. They weren't charmed.
I go, I go, I walked in and I was like, they're going to be so charmed by this. No, because that one's kind of new.
They just renovated it. And

Speaker 2 they're really like sort of like jacked up on that. They're like,

Speaker 2 yeah, we're new. You know, like there's that energy.
Fair enough. The one in Williamsburg is really sweet.
Cute. I was just at the one in Toronto.
Did you go to that one? I didn't make it in there.

Speaker 2 We were in Toronto for something, and I went to that one, and it was sweet vibes. Love that.
By Rado, they're going to scare you.

Speaker 2 This episode is brought to you by Ross. When you're out holiday shopping, do you have a go-to store, a Santa's secret weapon? You know, a gifting hot stop? If you don't, you should.

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Speaker 2 Do you have a signature scent, everyone? I've had a recent one. Me too.
De Los Santos is what I wear lately. Beautiful.

Speaker 2 I don't have a Bireto one right now. I have an Aesop Huill.
Huge. HWY.
Now, is Aesop aspirational? Absolutely. It is? Okay.
Why wouldn't it be? Because I don't know. I feel like I see it as well.

Speaker 2 It's too excessive. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 I hate to drag. But

Speaker 2 I can't believe I'm differing with you on this, but I just.

Speaker 2 I'm an Aesop girl. It's not.
Okay.

Speaker 2 It feels like it's everywhere. It feels like it's in airports.
Of course. Well,

Speaker 2 airports are beautiful. Don't ever talk to me.
No, don't even talk to me. LaGuardia.
We were leaving LaGuardia the other day. I didn't want to leave.
Yeah. You could not get me out of there.

Speaker 2 But you know what's hell on actual earth?

Speaker 2 A little place called JFK. Last night, I have my huge bags.
I go, you know what they do, what they're doing to you now. And this is very, I don't think, so honey vibes, but it's too boring.

Speaker 2 Wait, the, the lift?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's in, it's the next state, crossing state lines. Terrible.

Speaker 2 They make you cross state lines or the rideshare pickup area. I have 17 bags.
No, it's not good.

Speaker 2 And I used to be that kind of person that was like, I would literally pay more for like a different car to come get me where I am, but they won't even allow you to do that. Now you have to do

Speaker 2 a 20-minute journey. Because LAX, they let the black, the Uber Black come.
They do. And that is worth it every time.
Every time. And sometimes if it means

Speaker 2 you're sidetailing another

Speaker 2 one.

Speaker 2 Me calling you a black. I love you.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 I am doing naughty things in there. It's so good.

Speaker 2 I know people that would, that would call the Uber Black, just take it like right outside the airport and then call another regular lift to not pay the whole thing. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 I don't want to look down on those people, but that's insane.

Speaker 2 You were the best and you were the worst.

Speaker 2 I love you. I'm so

Speaker 2 Augusto.

Speaker 2 I think you're Sabrina, Chappell, Charlie. And Gracie.
Well, that's why you guys are going to be excited about my announcement. What is it? Oh, the one I can't.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, we know all about it.

Speaker 2 Why can't I? I already said it on my... Audio.
So, I mean, first of all, can I say something? You could do anything you want. Guess what? I'm making music.

Speaker 2 I'm making music. I actually want to ask y'all because I want to do, well, I'll ask you off-pod because I want to celebrate that.
Oh, 100%.

Speaker 2 It's going to be major laser. Oh, I love it.
Major laser. I know everything about this.
That's what happens when you hang out with Sarah Squirm. I was just going to make up Sarah Squirm, but.

Speaker 2 Can I tell you? That's why I say that.

Speaker 2 I don't know if she was the one who started it or if I was the one who started it. Wait, really? Oh, well, then it all comes back to me.
But no, she's going to kill me because if she didn't.

Speaker 2 She came into my home and started saying that to me. And now my whole family.
What's describing things as major lasers? When you want to say something's major, you go, that is so major laser.

Speaker 2 It's major laser. And so now I just go, it's major lays.
Major laser.

Speaker 2 Now, Brian and I just go, it's laser. We're just like

Speaker 2 laser. It's giving major laser.
That's how things, that's how culture gets created. I actually think Sarah is one of the main cultural, what's the word I'm looking for? A paragon's absolutely

Speaker 2 transcendental.

Speaker 2 What's your word?

Speaker 2 She is an idea. Tastemaker.
She just, her, she is. Visionary.
She's an actual genius. No, she's a true genius.

Speaker 2 Because she's someone too who like is so funny off stage, but I'm like, how do you even have the time to be this brilliant? Wildly. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I love her every second. I know y'all are like, you're work wife.

Speaker 2 Would you describe your relationship as work wife? Absolutely. Because I always consider her who's your best CS now and she has both.
Oh my God. She was going to go ahead and be burnt.

Speaker 2 Major genius. We say major laser.
We say familia pizza. We say like Taco's Familia Pizza.
You know what I mean? That's cute. Like Madda's Familia Pizza.

Speaker 2 And then she has a story that made me cry laughing last week. And I need to, we need to bring her on the pod to tell everybody.
And then we will all be united in this, in this story.

Speaker 2 Speaking of familiar pizza,

Speaker 2 I was thinking about this, you know, we all came up together doing the damn thing.

Speaker 2 And then do you think it was, do you think it's just time and space and people getting more jobs that makes everyone go, or do you think it was also pandemic being like,

Speaker 2 I think the pandemic had a lot to do with it, but also that was happening kind of before that. Yeah.
Because the scenes, it's like everyone has their little graduating class. And it's like,

Speaker 2 I know. But then it's like pandemic goes,

Speaker 2 so I was, what's happened? Do you know what I think all the time? And don't point at me. No, no.
You really did point. That was aggressive.
I have a pointer. Police.

Speaker 2 Police.

Speaker 2 I think. Please.
Please, please.

Speaker 2 Weirdo cover. Police.
Please, please, please. Arrest this man.
He pointed at me.

Speaker 2 Please, please, please. I wonder if Sabrina would like me.
I think she would. She would fucking love.
Oh, God. I think she would.
I want to put her in my pocket. Well,

Speaker 2 you did her TikTok. I did every little TikTok dance.
Yeah. Did she reach out? she reposted i said hey what do you mean

Speaker 2 i did her tick tock i did her tick tock dance to taste and then i and then i the caption was i hope me doing this dance will bring world peace and then she and then she dm replied and she said all she said was it will bring world peace that's beautiful so

Speaker 2 that's my that's my one little interaction with her i was like she was she would adore you vic Vic she'd love us all no no no no no um my sketch shot cut the finale of SNL when she was a musical guest and then it was right before she was about to go on that she runs up to me and Celestia and she goes what's tea she's like she like could tell that we were upset.

Speaker 2 She's like, What's tea? Wow, she's a girl's girl. She's a girl's girl.
She gets it. I love Celeste too.
Oh my god. What an angel.
Angel. Angel of music.
Angelique. Angel of my dream.

Speaker 2 What were you saying though before Major Williams? We were talking about the days. Oh, that was.
And I was saying, I think that... Familiar Pizza.
Sometimes I look back on the times.

Speaker 2 Remember when we all used to go to the duplex when Henry was playing and downstairs? And you didn't know that those times were going to not be forever.

Speaker 2 It's just weird. Like, it's difficult to wrap your head around the fact that we've already lived like, not to use this word, but like eras.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 We've already, like, there have been so many times and you're like, and then all of a sudden they're, they're done. And you're like, oh, wow, I didn't even realize I was in this new one.

Speaker 2 And I think what I'm encountering right now in Los Angeles is I've been in my current era too long. Yeah.
Not to associate it with an apartment, but I feel like I'm due a new.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because you were kind of like, I'm pandemic, I'm LA. And now you're ready to move on.
Well, because I'm still in the same fucking apartment from pre-pandemic which means it has tons of ghosts

Speaker 2 So you got to force yourself out. Have y'all ever seen a ghost? Have you ever seen a ghost? We did a ghost tour in Savannah, Georgia, where it's big ghost.
You have you been? No. Have you been?

Speaker 2 I've not been to I've been to Savannah, but we didn't do the ghost tour. Okay.
The ghost tours are fun. We were there together.
Were we not performing there? Atlanta. But did you see one?

Speaker 2 We performed there with Paparolette one, Savannah. Or was that Charleston?

Speaker 3 I get those confused.

Speaker 2 Charleston.

Speaker 2 Savannah, it was a night, and then they tell you,

Speaker 2 take out your phones and take, take a photo of those windows over there.

Speaker 2 And then I swear, I don't know the photo, but I think there was a lady. Babe.

Speaker 2 I think there was a lady. I think there was a lady.
I love it. Oh, they were like, that house is where Flannery O'Connor came to live.
And some say her ghost is there. Where she came to live.

Speaker 2 Have you ever looked at a piece of face? That's a weird way to say that.

Speaker 2 I come to live all the time. Oh, my

Speaker 2 I don't. Toast is so old.

Speaker 2 Excuse me. You're still having toast.

Speaker 2 I fucking love it. Are y'all making toast? Yeah.
That's so now carb shamer over here. No, no, no.
It's not about the carbs. It's more like it's so 90s breakfast before school.

Speaker 2 Like mommy's making toast. There was something that was made the other day.
I was at, Melissa had like...

Speaker 2 a little birthday thing in LA and I was just like I went to her and someone brought out it was either like it was like a piece of potato or it was something or and there there was very clearly

Speaker 2 There was a very clearly the face of an old disapproving woman in it. Very clearly.
To the point where everyone saw it and understood what she was saying. Oh my god.
And

Speaker 2 that's a potato. To me, I saw a ghost in that potato.
I've never seen like a paranormal ghost. In fact, I don't really believe.
Oh, don't say. I believe 100%.
I respect them.

Speaker 2 And I'm glad they haven't come to see me. And I don't want to see them because I respect them too.
Yes. Yes.

Speaker 2 I think they're real. You think ghosts are real? Of course they're real.
Ghosts are real. Wait, speaking of 90s food, though, which you claim is toast, which I actually totally get it.

Speaker 2 I totally get it. So like orange juice.
It's like before we eat orange juice. No, Pop-Tart is 90s food.
Toast is forever. I actually feel like it's often pop-tarts are forever for my family.

Speaker 2 Okay, there you go. There's this amazing chef on YouTube.

Speaker 2 She's part of Cooks Illustrated in America's Test Kitchen, but she has a whole series called Techniquely, and she talks about how overcooking your vegetables is actually good and chic.

Speaker 2 But the reason why,

Speaker 2 the reason why like crisp, blanched vegetables are like a thing,

Speaker 2 why like vegetables are, shall we say, hard.

Speaker 2 yeah nissoi nisoi it's like that was an 80s 90s thing in response to the way that vegetables were cooked in the 50s and 60s where people were fucking mushing them up interesting i think we kind of need to go back to mushy vegetables i love i love mushy vegetables do you do you cook i cook what kind of stuff do you make bad stuff i mean like i bad stuff no i cook i cook when it's just i cook i'm such a good cook when it's just for me if i have to present it to an audience, I get nervous.

Speaker 2 Like I coached for the house in Fireland and was like, fine. It's like totally mid.
And I'm like, this is, I get like stage fright, performance anxiety. I would love to come cook for you, boys.

Speaker 2 Let's go. No, I actually love cooking for a group.
Hates a home-cooked meal. That's, I don't hate a home-cooked meal.
I would just rather go to a restaurant. Oh, that's sad.
And you would, too.

Speaker 2 That's actually breaking my heart. No, Catherine, that's not how you are.

Speaker 2 I know how you are. I know.
You would rather go to a restaurant too. You would rather go to a restaurant than have a home-cooked meal.

Speaker 2 Okay, well, what I'm saying is, okay, so I'll throw this out here. It's Thursday night.

Speaker 2 Ready? We'll do this from the top. Monday night.
Would you have it? It tends to be cooking. Yeah.
And where and what the house looks like.

Speaker 2 I would agree that all of that comes into play. Yeah.
But on. And it depends with the restaurants, because there's a lot of restaurants, and I am angry about this.

Speaker 2 They're too loud. Too many restaurants.
Too loud. And I'm a singer.
I'm a vocalist. So I need to rest the instrument.
And I'm not going to be screaming at dinner. Yeah, that's so true.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 I feel like Lucy Lou and Charlie's Angels. Because I think my favorite part of that whole fucking movie

Speaker 2 is that her character, for some reason, they decided the thing about her character is she's bad at cooking. Yeah.
But she loves to cook for everybody. And they're like, I brought muffins.

Speaker 2 And Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore are like, yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow. But isn't that such a great little detail? Yeah, that's nice.
It's a great fun. I wonder what that is.
I wonder why they felt the need to do that. It's just fun.
I just love that.

Speaker 2 That's like a character. Do they all have a little Achilles heel? Like Lucy Lou can't cook.
Drew Barrymore is gay. She does read us kind of gay.

Speaker 2 I remember the movie right now. Her name was Dylan.

Speaker 2 dylan oh that's hot i had a bar i had a female barrier trainer named dylan the other day and i was like only a female barrier trainer or a character played by drew barry more is named dylan and that's real culture number 99 he was only a female barrier or a character played by drew barry more

Speaker 2 named dylan now barry's is a really scary place i'm addicted to it that's awesome that's awesome sauce

Speaker 2 that is awesome actually i should get into i want my ass to go up so i got to figure something out it will do that

Speaker 2 i almost said i'm so lonely lonely. What I meant was

Speaker 2 you would have to, glue bridges are the next one to yours. I'm so lonely.

Speaker 2 Sorry, I meant tired.

Speaker 2 I have similar neighboring feelings. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm tired and lonely. I like being tired.

Speaker 2 I feel like when I'm tired, I'm actually not lonely. Because I go, I'm so happy to just be by myself.
Oh.

Speaker 2 Because when you're not alone when you're lonely, you don't have to be alone. Whatever.
Wait, this is a real pandemic thing, though. Do you feel way less of an extrovert? Babe.
Hello.

Speaker 2 Where'd my personality go? I am at Husk. I used to be fun.

Speaker 2 I used to get coffee.

Speaker 2 I used to be crazy. I know I used to be fun.

Speaker 2 Be fun. By the way, greatest song of all time.
I used to be so fun. I can't do anything.
I'm not sure. I'm not.
I'm so tired.

Speaker 2 I'm happy to hear that everyone, not that I'm happy to hear that you feel that way or you feel that way, but it is something I think we could all say is it's just like the pandemic is something we can actually not even wrap our heads on.

Speaker 2 We won't ever process what it did to us. The way it fucked us, we will never be able to understand.
One good thing happened and it was folklore came out. Agree.

Speaker 2 And you know what else could have happened? Evermore. We're alive.

Speaker 2 You're so right. Like, literally.
Sorry.

Speaker 2 I'm so lonely.

Speaker 2 I mean, I'm lonely. I'm sorry.
I mean, I'm tired. I mean, I'm hungry.

Speaker 2 No, but when you said that you're like happy to be home alone by yourself sometimes, I'm like, hell yeah. I can't express this.

Speaker 2 Before the pandemic, and this is, of course, the most boring thing anyone could say, but I couldn't even spend one night at home alone. No, no, I would call someone and go, come have sex with me.

Speaker 2 I'm scared. Yeah, I'm scared to have sex with me.

Speaker 2 Is that what it was? Like, come over, like, before I had a boyfriend, I go, I can't, I'm scared. Have someone come me.
I'm scared. Oh my god,

Speaker 2 put him alone. Someone made me Juno for the first time the other night since the song came out.
Come with your Juno.

Speaker 2 You want to have their baby? Come down.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I'm nice.
And you want to Juno with them? I don't think I want to Juno with them, but they made me Juno. No, I don't think so.
Okay. Well, I don't know.
I don't think any of us.

Speaker 2 Let's outside right now.

Speaker 2 I don't think we're kids people.

Speaker 2 I know, but I froze.

Speaker 2 That's good. That's good to have.
Fucking decide. I was telling Catherine before you guys, she asked me this question off air, and my therapist goes to me after I said a long thing.

Speaker 2 She goes, I'm just thinking how you'd be an amazing father. And I literally...
like started breaking down. I was like, well, the kid would need two fathers.
And I used it as an excuse to speak about.

Speaker 2 We can all be Shonda Rhimes, though. What's that? Should be single single adoptive parents.
That is chic. Sounds important.
It sounds hard.

Speaker 2 It sounds very hard. Nothing's easy.

Speaker 2 Do you think? You're never ready. Yeah, I think.
I think.

Speaker 2 I don't want kids, though. It's just.
I want a big house. Yeah.

Speaker 2 First. Then I'll think about kids.
That's like a lot of marriage, too. I'm like, I want like a lot more stuff before I go ring-a-ling.
Lately, Pat's been shaming me.

Speaker 2 Lately, Pat's been like, you got it. Pat's been like, it's long enough.
I go. What's long enough? Being with Brian five years.
Oh, stop. Oh, you have to get married enough kids? I go, go.

Speaker 2 Well, to get married. To get married.

Speaker 2 That's up to you. I go.
I want to have a big house. Yes.
I want fancy. Okay, ready.
Movies. Do this.
Oh, movies. We've just walked into your dream home.
Take us through it. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 AD, Catherine Cohen. Hey, guys.
Hey, AD. It's Catherine Cohen.
Welcome to my. Okay, well, if we're in New York, because of course I'm going to want, you know, New York, London, L.A.
Yes.

Speaker 2 If we're in New York, we're like, oh, my God, getting off the

Speaker 2 maybe the Christopher Street, one, two, three. I I don't know.
I don't know. Who said that? I don't know.
Yeah. And we're going to go into one of those.

Speaker 2 We're going to go right next to like, here's where we're going to go. Like right next to like the Cherry Lane Theater.

Speaker 2 And we're going to walk into one of those brownstones. Yeah.
And it's going to be like, wow, this looks so old, but feels so clean. Yep.
But it's so old and kind of like dark. There's candles.

Speaker 2 It's like, there's like navy blue, like washed walls. There's like dark velvet couches and big wooden things.

Speaker 2 It's a little bit like this.

Speaker 2 And in the center of it all is it's very lived-in

Speaker 2 very like Victorian

Speaker 2 and then there's a claw foot tub in the center and I'm sitting there naked and I'm going

Speaker 2 In the center. I'm in the center of the home with a skylight beaming down on me tits, but wearing a necklace and I'm like hey boys come this way.
I love it. I go I've been cooking.

Speaker 2 I've been having home cooking for you on a Thursday. You gave me the wink.
How each of you go.

Speaker 2 What's yours?

Speaker 2 Dream house. Yeah, like we're walking into Boston.

Speaker 2 Is it so awful if I say that like

Speaker 2 it's the one I have now? I

Speaker 2 love my place. I need to come over so much.

Speaker 2 Well, that's so exciting. You're living the dream.
And

Speaker 2 it's pretty beautiful. How long did it take to find that?

Speaker 2 Like a few months, not that long. I worked with this great broker.
Ronnie Rose.

Speaker 2 Shout out, Ronnie. Shout out, Ronnie.
I can't wait till I need you. No, no, y'all have to go to her.
I can't wait till I need to miss Ronnie. She's being like, Let me intro the broker.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I just can't decide.

Speaker 2 Between New York or LA?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's so so boring i feel like you're further along in the new york journey to like have a broker to potentially talk to in new york and you don't you don't have that quite yet in la i guess my impulse would be if you're gonna buy it you would buy in la and rent to new york yeah because it's a little that's i think the smarter it's a little kooky out here yeah yeah it's a little kooky out here and what do i know i pay So little, I can't even talk about it.

Speaker 2 I have a sexy little secret deal. I really, I know.
So I can't ever leave. I can't ever leave.

Speaker 2 Oh, I went to my friend's place in Astoria the other day, and he has a rent-controlled apartment, and I couldn't believe the number he said for how much space he has.

Speaker 2 Like sometimes in New York, there are just those little fines. And I always,

Speaker 2 I thought, lucked out for whatever station I was in life. Like when we were like 28 and I moved into that little place in Greenpoint, did you ever come to my tiny box in Greenpoint?

Speaker 2 I lived on Box Street. I lived in a box on box.
Oh, that's cute. And it was small, but it was $800 a month.
That's crazy. That made you feel sick.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then I had that, and I felt insane giving it up because I'm like, this is crazy. But I always was able to find that deal.

Speaker 2 And now I'm like, I don't think, not that I would want that, but like, I don't think things like that exist on this. I agree.
It's been

Speaker 2 in this new era. I know.
It's error is not to bring up the arrows tour again.

Speaker 2 Not to bring up the arrows tour again. What era are y'all in? Hmm.
What era are we in? Like, like macro, or if it's a Taylor era? I'm at macro, like, whatever words.

Speaker 2 Okay, let's, let's, let's, let's answer both because, like, Matt inspired me last episode. I'm in husband search mode.
Oh, that's exciting.

Speaker 2 I'm ready for you to have such love. It's got to stop.
Enough with, enough with.

Speaker 2 Well, what's it been like just being yanked around? It's just like, I can't do it.

Speaker 2 Is it the caliber of people or the way they're treating you? It's not, no, everyone's fine. I'm just like, I need to, it's a me thing.
Like, I need to focus up.

Speaker 2 I need to like go in with the right, with the proper intention. Like, I've been a little too like, yeah, whatever comes my way.
And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 I cannot be like casting a wide net. I need to be specific.
You're ready to be partnered. Yes.
It was very exciting. So I'm in that era.
And then Taylor Swift era, I am in.

Speaker 2 I'm going to say fearless. Oh, there's something about the beautiful area to beat.
The street looks when it's desperate. That was one of my, that was, because I first fell in love

Speaker 2 in Texas, country version, playing my guitar. So damn funny.
That's what I remember. Oh,

Speaker 2 damn funny.

Speaker 2 I thought it was so cool. I was in nice college.
I'm going to say damn.

Speaker 2 Crazy.

Speaker 2 You know what's the crazy truth? Drew looks.

Speaker 2 How Drew looks at me. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm in Tortured Poets. Oh.

Speaker 2 It's really grown on me. I'm in.
It's really good. It's good.
At the beginning, I was obviously like,

Speaker 2 well, like everyone else. What's your favorite track on Tortured Poets? If you feel sad,

Speaker 2 oh my God. What'd you say? I can do it with Broken Heart.
No, I did not say any of that.

Speaker 2 Why? Is that yours?

Speaker 2 i'm so lonely that one that one's grown on me a lot too though i can do it with broken heart it's great it's major in the video it's major laser i'm gonna say what's major laser for me is

Speaker 2 oh god oh god wait hold on no it's coming it's uh uh um i'm um not down bad not guilty of sin um um what's the other one oh the but daddy i love him is but daddy i love him But daddy, I love him is the culture of everyone shut up.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You know what I mean? I love that culture.

Speaker 2 Everyone needs to shut up. But

Speaker 2 Unfortunately, the narrative of Ba Daddy I Love Him is ultimately, but everyone shut up because I know you're right. And then they were right.

Speaker 2 So that is the thing about Ba Daddy I Love Him. But there's something romantic about it, but ultimately everyone that was telling her all this stuff was right.
But you know what?

Speaker 2 Taylor does this thing where

Speaker 2 she flips the narrative with like love story. It's like it's Romeo and Juliet, but like it's a happy ending.
But Daddy, I love him. It's like.
They were right and it didn't end well.

Speaker 2 But like in the world of this song, she gets to like dictate how it ends.

Speaker 2 Like that's the power of taylor oh guilty sin to me is guilty so good so good but i will tell you what and also this will lead me into this other thing fortnight has grown on me so much and post malone's new album oh have you listened to it no but do you know that i've but what i've been saying since the first episode of seek treatment is that he's my hall pass he is the man can wear up the fuck out of a pair of jeans i'll tell you that and he's doing his country area now and the new album it's called f1 trillion it's literally just him doing duets with like legends there is a song with Dolly Parton.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow, where she's so horned up. She goes, What's one more night? Go not hurt.

Speaker 2 Stop.

Speaker 2 We need to play it.

Speaker 2 Like, honestly, like, it is literally, it's post-Malone and Dolly Parton. You told me that he really transformed in that moment.
That was so beautiful. Wow, what's more not going to hurt? That's good.

Speaker 2 Cartoon.

Speaker 2 But literally, like, this album is so good. And his voice is like so velvety.
Country. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, he's like blowing away all these like legends on this album.

Speaker 2 And he did, like, Beyonce did more of like an Americana country thing, like, through her lens. Like, he did, like, contemporary country music.
The last song on the album is called Yours.

Speaker 2 It's about telling his daughter's future husband, buddy, just because she's

Speaker 2 like, doesn't mean, doesn't mean she's yours, but it works. Doesn't mean she's yours.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 There's a Brad Paisley song with, there's a song he does with Brad Paisley. Well, and Brad Paisley's the amazing artist who I believe gave us the song Ticks.
Yeah. I'm all check you for ticks.

Speaker 2 Oh, there we go. That is the song.
Did you know that Brad Paisley

Speaker 2 partnered with Dr. Jill Biden during the pandemic? What? And told everybody to get their vaccine.
Oh, good for him. And then he did a cover of Jolene where the lyrics were vaccine, vaccine.

Speaker 2 And I go, Brad Paisley has climbed Cringe Mountain. He doesn't give a fuck.
No. And we must admire him.

Speaker 2 That's catchy. Magic.
He's climbing Cringe Mountain. We like him.
Tim McGraw is on the album. He's climbed Cringe Mountain.
Him and Faith have Climb Cringe Mountain. Are they still together? Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's beautiful. This kiss, this kiss.
I'm loving it.

Speaker 2 The track seven.

Speaker 2 Next time you listen to the song. Do this.
Do this kiss. Do this when the chorus comes in.
This kiss, this kiss.

Speaker 2 Unstinkable. Unstinkable.

Speaker 2 Unstinkable. Stop it.
Just try making it, try making it happen with your body. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I need to get in touch with my body. You're the most in touch with your body of anyone I know, I think.
That's so nice. It can't be so.
My ass is flat. I got to get it up.
That's not what that means.

Speaker 2 That's not what that means. Those aren't related.
What I meant by that, I jumped A to Z and like, I haven't been, I haven't exercised in so long. Don't like, how could I possibly be in touch?

Speaker 2 But you are embodied. As a performer, yes, I'm extremely in tune.

Speaker 2 That is her ox. oxygenable That's her oxygen.

Speaker 2 unstinkable go in the key Cinderella said just

Speaker 2 what's your era what are your eras what's your era my era is let's fucking get it yeah I'm in my let's fucking get it I'm going

Speaker 2 I want that because I've been like this I've been this here's what I've been doing for like three years

Speaker 2 when you're roller skating and you're like pushing out and you're like

Speaker 2 is that when you roller skate yeah that's exactly it I've been like that and now I'm ready to go

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 i'm ready to go up the ramp i love that now let me tell you this but my taylor era taylor era is that 1989 it feels like could be because i was always i was in reputation for a while which is my favorite era or are you lover era now coming out of reputation because lover ultimately ended up being the biggest era

Speaker 2 lover is her like biggest album that's shocking it's crazy because it came out and was like maligned at first i loved it you know you know what song is so great that's on that album that no one cares about which is

Speaker 2 False God, Paper Rings.

Speaker 2 I think he knows.

Speaker 2 It's so good. It's oh, please.
From the beginning, I've been like, this is

Speaker 2 that reminds me of, oh my God, yeah, like exactly five years ago. I'm gonna go.

Speaker 2 I'm thinking now.

Speaker 2 The keys.

Speaker 2 But the keys are I only do original key. Yeah, I think not everyone.
Not everyone's happy about it. Because, you know, I've had a summer of closure.
Yes. Romantically.
Closure romantically.

Speaker 2 I've run into

Speaker 2 random exes. I've run into random exes.

Speaker 2 And now I'm going, it's because I've been heard for my bride. Closure.
Whose name is Brian? Bri Bride. Brie Bride.
So then you are listening to Mr. P.

Speaker 2 I would say yes. Okay.
But I

Speaker 2 also want a house. Oh, yes.
I'm sorry. It's house first.
For some reason, but who knows?

Speaker 2 The lover house.

Speaker 2 Wow. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 It's so cute how we all kind of matched today.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I need that.
I need that. Who made that? Magliano.
They're making my Emmys suit. Oh, how fabulous is that? And when is that? Like, tomorrow? Tomorrow.
No,

Speaker 2 wait, are that really short? No, no, no, no, no. The Emmys.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I've never been.
I'm open to it. Hey, I'm totally open to going.
I just haven't been yet, but I'm open to going. You'll be there.
I'll be there, manifest. Destiny.

Speaker 2 You're not going with the only murder's crew? Yeah, I don't think so. I don't think so.
And what was it like being on set? Oh, Electric. Electric.
Who are you there with?

Speaker 2 All the legends. Meryl even?

Speaker 2 Meryl walked by me on set, and I go, wow.

Speaker 2 Michael Cyril Creighton. Angel from Hello.

Speaker 2 That was the best part is hanging out with him on set.

Speaker 2 And also getting to talk to Miss Molly Shannon, who I'm obsessed with. Oh, my God.
So getting to talk to them was the best. But everyone was very nice.
It was really fun. Love it.

Speaker 2 Feels like a good, healthy, happy crew.

Speaker 2 It's a very healthy,

Speaker 2 so well-organized, so like...

Speaker 2 calm on set, like most like hearty, organic vibes on set.

Speaker 2 Well, here's the thing, and this is not this sounds like this sounds maybe not right but it's like if the two people at the top of the call street are past a certain age you're rapping at a reasonable time yes because everyone they just want to go to bed right or you're not because it takes too long but we've had different experiences

Speaker 2 This episode is brought to you by Ross. When you're out holiday shopping, do you have a go-to store? A Santa's secret weapon? You know, a gifting hot stop? If you don't, you should.

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Speaker 2 I want to hear about the Wicca movie. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Is it heaven on earth?

Speaker 2 It was pretty much heaven on earth, except one day, which I will reveal later,

Speaker 2 was I had a full-on panic attack. Are y'all excited? I'm so excited.
Is the prem gonna be London or here? Prem is going to be London. She are, I think.

Speaker 2 No, the prems are all over the place. There's going to be South Africa Prem.
Oh, Mexico City Prem. That's sick.
LA, New York. Will you get to go to all of them? No.

Speaker 2 Because I will be working. Your.

Speaker 2 it's too bad

Speaker 2 the apartment the apartment's not gonna by itself I can go to world which is I okay actually world is Lund World is Lund World is London World Prem is Lund that's major that feels really right for some reason and you're gonna wear something so nice yeah who knows I don't I don't know yet

Speaker 2 do you think you'll wear pink or green I will probably wear pink I will wear green for one thing

Speaker 2 but yeah I'm like I'm Glinda's little gay and so I gotta wear yeah I guess my question is do you think it's stepping on anyone's toes to wear one of their colors? No, not at all. Unstinkable.

Speaker 2 Unstinkable. So now we're going to say that's not what.

Speaker 2 How did you wear my color?

Speaker 2 I was actually just watching like, I think it was, who was it? It was like some Galinda. Oh,

Speaker 2 Allie Mousie,

Speaker 2 who was in

Speaker 2 Kimberly Akimbo. Oh.
God,

Speaker 2 she plays the mom from Kimberly Akimbo, who was incredible. And was she a Glinda? She was a Galinda.
Wow. And she was amazing.
And I was watching her do popular.

Speaker 2 And like, I love watching these old like Broadway versions because so many of them find these little things. And she did this thing where she, you know, when Glinda is like, ball gown.

Speaker 2 And it doesn't work. And she goes, ball gown.
She goes, ball gown. It doesn't work.
And she goes, ball gown.

Speaker 2 And I was like, I had never seen that choice before. And I was like, love that choice.
Just make a choice. Theater is back.
The theater is back. Thank God.

Speaker 2 Exasperated, frustrated. Just make a choice.
Make a fucking toy. I don't know at this point.

Speaker 2 Guys. Guys, come on.

Speaker 2 Speaking of choices, now we're making have to make the choice. I don't think so, honey.
I know. Because it's 2.40.
I know I have to G.

Speaker 2 And we did know this would be one of those episodes that went L-O-N-G. And we were right, but that's good because it's your time back.

Speaker 2 And now, speaking of time, this is a segment that we do that uses 60 seconds of time to get something across that's

Speaker 2 God. Oh, God.
Did you forget?

Speaker 2 On the way here, I was trying to think of things and it was like.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It is what it is.
It is what it is. You're going to come up with something fucking brittle.
We got to go. You go, you go.

Speaker 2 You know, no, no, because we got a text message saying that Kat's got to go downtown. Okay.
Oh, did we? Okay. You got to go downtown.
What's that?

Speaker 2 I have an interview. Oh, fuck yeah.
All right. I'll go.
Okay. This is Matt Rodders on.
I think so, honey, his time starts now. I don't think so, honey.

Speaker 2 Everyone in my DMs, when I did my end of summer post, being like, actually, summer ends on September 12th. I'm like, you know what, you guys? You've had three months of it.

Speaker 2 You've had actually probably more than it if you're a gay guy, because I know you and I know that your summer probably started in the middle of May.

Speaker 2 It definitely started Memorial Day weekend. Summer, it happened.
There are four seasons. It was June, July, August.
That summer, that is a quarter of the year. You had it.
So Labor Day happened.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry, girls. Like, I understand that the calendar says, like, summer continues.
30 seconds. It's not really going to continue.
Go outside. Hate to say it, but look at this.
Look at my friend.

Speaker 2 Look at what she's wearing. She's wearing a goddamn sweater.
And that's out of necessity. It's freezing out there.
It is.

Speaker 2 The nip in the air, the bite in the air. I welcome the bite.
Call me Sticky Stackhouse, bitch. Bite the neck.
Put a canine teeth in the side of my neck.

Speaker 2 Suck me dry.

Speaker 2 I suck it. If you can, because the summer already fucking has.
It's over. Gays, get out the DMs.
Labor Day has come. It's gone.
It's fall. And that's one minute.
And you're going to be happy.

Speaker 2 Just calm down. It's okay.
It's not the end of the world. The defensiveness of me posting the end of summer.
I was like, me to summer 2024. And it was a video video of me diving in the water.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's cute. It's not, they're like, it's not over.
It's just still three more weeks of summer. I'm like, that's remember rule number four.
People are very sick. People are very sick.

Speaker 2 Imagine not having had enough of summer 2024. It's, it's, we, we had plenty.
A lot happened. We're good.
We're cooked. Yeah, we had a good chunk.
All right, Kat's got to go. Let's go.
All right.

Speaker 2 So this is Bowen Yangs. I don't think Swoony his time starts now.
I don't think Somani chimp crazy. I think this documentary is false advertising.
You think it's going to be fun.

Speaker 2 You think it's going to be Tiger King vibes. Same people who did Tiger King.
It is so upsetting. There is actually, there's trigger warnings for flashing strobe lights.
Cool, no problem.

Speaker 2 No trigger warning for the crazy, bloody, violent things that are depicted in the show, that are documented, that show multiple chimps ripping off chunks of flesh from multiple people. 30 seconds.

Speaker 2 Usually women.

Speaker 2 This subculture of, they talk about this, the subculture of almost exclusively women raising these chimps like they're babies is so fucked. We need to do something about this.

Speaker 2 Tanya Haddocks is must be stopped she is a liar she pulled a robert durst that was even worse because she she admitted to the thing while the cameras were rolling it was it wasn't even like she went to the bathroom and set it on mic this is such an upsetting documentary of course i'm in too deep with it and i have to finish this one more episode but um it's terribly upsetting animal the the exotic animal community is sick carney's circus people i'm sorry i support you in theory but the the vibe the culture around what you guys do is really upsetting and Missouri changed the laws.

Speaker 2 Anyway, that's all.

Speaker 2 That is, that is shocking. That's horrible.

Speaker 2 I mean, honestly, we were on the plane the other day coming back from Toronto and I looked over because Bowen was just every now and then he would just make a sound at the iPad like

Speaker 2 and I looked over and literally what I saw without seeing any sound because I haven't gotten to watch it yet but I will unfortunately was really harrowing. So like you see blood.
This is Netflix.

Speaker 2 HBO.

Speaker 2 Or can I I watch this? Well, they've been on fire with the upsetting docs. No, yeah.
What else? Kai on set? Oh, that's very quick. My favorite docs.
Oh my God.

Speaker 2 That was the best thing I've ever seen in my life. Mother.
Mother God. Mother God would.
These are my tools. Alcohol and marijuana.
Okay. Taco Salad, Galactic Taco Salad.
Wikib TS are in her grounds.

Speaker 2 Favorite documentary. She can do a Mother God Impression.
She can do the unimpression of the girls who are like, yeah, yeah. So Mother God would like wish.
I love Mega Hottie.

Speaker 2 Mother God in her team of hotties. Yes.
I mean, they're all gorgeous.

Speaker 2 Dirty, dirty, dirty people. They were described.
Wait, this is right. At one point, Sop podcast described Kristen Dody's boyfriend as father multiverse coded.
And I was like crying tears of laughter.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 I'm scared. No, don't be afraid.
Don't be afraid. You are

Speaker 2 a legend. I'm not.
It's the wizard who should be afraid of me. Is this helping you?

Speaker 2 This is Catherine Cohen's. I don't think so, honey.
Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
The style, the way the style is right now, it's not looking good. The style looks very bad.

Speaker 2 There's no carpet anymore. Bring back the carpet.
I want carpet. I want warmth.
I want a nice home.

Speaker 2 I want carpet on the floor. I want a restaurant where it's not so screaming loud.
I want curtains that are lush. This building, I hate this building.
I walk in. They're screaming at me.

Speaker 2 Everything's hard. Everything's cold.

Speaker 2 I go to a hotel. There's not a single bathtub in sight.
It's a shower made of part of a door. There's a shower made.
There's water, water without a door. Water without a door.

Speaker 2 I don't want water without a door. I want, I need the style to change because the style, everything looks like a ship.
Everything looks like an old, everything looks like a new ship. And that's it.

Speaker 2 I need things that are old. old.
I want coziness. I want sconces.
Give me a sconce, you stupid bitch. I want art on the walls that isn't like the word Paris.
Come on.

Speaker 2 The style has to change. I don't think it's wanting the style.
I don't think it's wanting the style. Make it warm.
Make it, give it character. I went to England.
The buildings are old.

Speaker 2 They are beautiful. Everything here is new, hideous.
I don't nink so. I don't think so.

Speaker 2 I don't need.

Speaker 2 I need the style that's really changed.

Speaker 2 I thought, God, you felt modern tonight. Now you're wanting all fucking old shit.
I need the the style.

Speaker 2 Admit it. If you go into a hotel, it's hideous.

Speaker 2 Where will

Speaker 2 we hotel? Go stay at the Bowery. You're in.
I live here.

Speaker 2 The Valerie's the only hotel that's like doing it. Can I go there?

Speaker 2 Wait, hold on.

Speaker 2 Sorry, everything looks like a new ship. Like a new ship.
I'm in it. Should look like an old ship.

Speaker 2 No, everything's like a, no, sorry, not an old ship, not a new ship, a cruise ship. You don't like modern aesthetics.
You think no.

Speaker 2 I think modern aesthetics, when done done right, are unbelievably gorgeous, but so rarely are they done right.

Speaker 2 So really, so often they're done out of necessity because of the price point, not out of like a choice artistically. Of course, of course.
Well, the interior designers are listening. Yes.

Speaker 2 I just think everywhere I go, when I try, I get to the hotel room and I'm like, there's no bathtub. Oh, the top is huge.
There's no like lush curtains. Everything's like gray and like...

Speaker 2 Everything's gray and flat. You and Brian should do a staycation at Hotel Chelsea.
You'll be so happy. Oh, yeah.
I don't want to stay. It's everywhere.

Speaker 2 And new albums. Carpets are tough for me.
No, carpets also, they mute the sound, so you're having an intimate. You can have an intimate conversation when there's carpet.
An intimate time.

Speaker 2 An intimate time. I hate that I'm running late.
Okay, I know. We gotta go.
Let's go. Well, the thing is, this was beautiful and brilliant, and we are just gonna be able to.

Speaker 2 See you tomorrow, same time.

Speaker 2 And we're doing this at the same time tomorrow. We love you so much.
I love you so much. Campus is coming out tomorrow.
It's so funny. It's coming out tomorrow.
I'm laughing. I'm laughing.

Speaker 2 I'm laughing. See you.
Just know that when we recorded this, it was just yesterday. So it's not that different than it is now.

Speaker 2 Although it could be. It could be.
Come for me is out October 17th. Please, God, watch it.
Please, God. Here's what I'll say.
It's on a streaming service called Veeps. Veeps.
Yeah. Check it out.

Speaker 2 Period.

Speaker 2 An announcement coming soon. Only murders in the building now.
And if you haven't seen my first special, it's on Netflix. It's called The Twist She's Gorgeous.

Speaker 2 So watch that just as a little, as a palette cleanser. As a little approtine.
As an approtent. That's what I meant, the one before.
Yeah. And then dive into the new October 17th.

Speaker 2 My new special, Come for Me. There's a full band.
Oh.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. That's.
And we shout out the Gram Mercy Theater.

Speaker 2 Oh, I love the Gram

Speaker 2 and I just new custom jumpsuits. Unbelievable stuff.
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 I'm very proud of it. So it's harder to access than Netflix, but we can do it together.
Yeah, but you know what? Sometimes it's the climb.

Speaker 2 And that actually reminds me of a song, and that's the way that we're going to end this episode.

Speaker 2 It's the climb.

Speaker 2 The baguette. Bye.
Okay, bye, everyone. Love you.

Speaker 2 Lost Culture Ace is the production by Will Farrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Radio Podcasts. Created Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 2 Executive produced by Anna Hosnier and Hans Sani. Produced by Becca Ramos.
Edited and mixed by Doug Babe and Monique Laborde. And our music is by Henry Kaberski.

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Speaker 1 This is an iHeart podcast.