"In Bloom and Unbothered" (w/ Catherine Cohen)

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All episodes of Mid-Century Modern are now streaming on Hulu. Look, Matt.
Where? Oh, I see. Wow.
Oh, my. Bowen, look over there.
Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh my goodness.
Wow. Las Culturistas.

Ding dong.

Las Culturistas calling.

Back in the studio, back on film.

The theme is red.

And speaking of which.

Oh my God.

Orgasmic.

You know, okay.

So I was just home because it was my parents' 35th wedding anniversary on Labor Day.

They got married in a Greek Orthodox ceremony.

I asked my mother where all the Diet Coke was in the house.

And she said, you know, I stopped drinking it years ago.

And I was like, well, it's back. It's back in a big way.
A couple things up top we have to do housekeeping-wise. It is post-Labor Day.
Yeah. New York City went immediately into fall in a great way.
I've been feeling it. Kathy Hochul and Eric Adams are forever.

This is why you cannot stand a politician. And I'm saying like the only way to engage with politicians is to hate them.

That's my take.

And then...

AOC is never going to be the same.

Look, listen.

And then...

Her office is absolutely sprawling right now. Three different subway stations today.
Fucked. Couldn't get up here to save my life.
To this studio because we're tactile. Yeah.
How do you feel about New York in the fall? Fucking love New York in the fall. I literally.
Can I tell you what I was doing seconds ago? Jerking off? No. I actually didn't jerk off this morning because I have a date later tonight.
Oh. You can't.
It's actually rule of culture number 18. You can't jerk off in the morning if you have a date that night at age 34.
What rule of culture is that? 34. 34.
You can't jack off in the morning if you have a date later that night at age 34. I'm just saying I'm kind of hoping to like, I don't what I'm hoping No I get it I get it Macro sentence But I was just I was walking on the street And I was wearing a jacket Listening to bleachers Okay You don't love that Our guest is coughing Our guest is I told you It's my cough Not yours It's her cough But that's what doing.
It was very fall. My cough has been moved in for two and a half weeks and it's staying just a little longer.
Longer. This is literally...
I'm not caught. Don't clue.
No, no, no. You're almost there.
No, I don't. I don't.
Well, this is not... We can't just have her come in because this is a moment and time is a moment.
No, I'm having a manic episode already. No! This is going to be unlistenable.
She has jet lag. Which is the perfect state to podcast in.
100%. I mean, the return to the pod of one of the all-time greats.
One of the all-time greats. And this is going to actually take the readers by storm.
This is giving New Moon and Virgo. Oh, wow.
Yes. We're back to the roots.

Yeah.

You know who this is,

by the way?

Iconic Leo.

And we just dragged

Leos to filth

on the last episode.

Thank you.

I want to hear it.

Yeah.

Okay.

But it's Leo men.

Play the episode.

Play the tape.

Can you play the whole episode

for me?

Great.

And we're back.

We've heard the episode.

We listened to the whole episode

and I can't believe

you said that, bitch.

Bitch.

Bitch.

She's a vocalist. Double bitch.
It was male Leos that we never met one who is one? Shawn Mendes Ben Affleck never met them don't they're gonna gaslight you our guest has a lot of things a lot of things on the agenda podcast of course come for me the special coming out October 17th on Veep streaming services thank you Veep thank you Veep and of course shout out huh yes Miss Madam Veep Miss Madam Veep Mrs. Veep.com and a big announcement coming in next month and shut the fuck up only murders in the building of Hulu come on.
Forget it. Forget you.
Stream it. But remember her now because welcome to your, I don't know what that was.
Welcome back to your ears. The one, the only.
Cat Coker! You make me wanna la la. On the kitchen, on the floor.
I'll be a fan. Drink your milk up, I want more.
Wow. Couldn't be happier.
I forgot about drink the milk up. I want more.
I'm like an alley cat. Drink the milk up.
I want more. Obvious cum thing.
I got such a cum thing. Right up top.
I got a cum thing. I got a cum thing.
Where did you come from? I've been waiting to ask you. Are you stressed because of the trains? I do have transit travel anxiety right now.
Let's let it go. I'm so happy to be home with my family.
So good to see you, girls. Thank you for having me on the podcast.
I just got back last night from London, England. Edinburgh.
She's an Edinburgh legend. Winner.
Thank you. I did Edinburgh.
I did my European tour. I've been gone three months.
Yeah. It was heaven on earth.
I have to say, it was just really nice. Yeah.
Just really nice. And to miss the New York summer fucking rocks.
I always run from the heat. Yeah.
I run from the heat and now I'm in time for the chill and time for a sweater in the studio. I know.
Oh my God, you came back right on time. Look at this.
Do you want me to do this? Can you imagine? Come on. Pour your plastic water.
What's everyone's mood? My mood, honestly,

like, I have had kind of

an annoying day because

I came here to the studio at 10 a.m.

thinking it was 10 a.m.

It was actually that thing of

my time difference

because East Coast, West Coast, what is it?

So meanwhile, you're over in London

time. This is an international

episode of Scrambled

Brains. No, I like it.

I love coming this direction because you wake up early and you feel so powerful. Of course.
Yes. And then you just go to bed early and you feel so healthy.
Oh, forget it. There was a huge stretch of time where I was waking up naturally at 5.30 a.m.
Can you imagine? All I wanted to do was hang on to that and be that person. Early for me is like 8.45.
Yeah, same. I try to wake up at 8 a.m.
Wow. Every day.
I try. And even the weekends now.
Do you both work out a lot? I work out six days a week. Okay, boys.
Everything's different now. They moved to the city.
And now they're gay. Got a big studio and now they're gay.
You still gay? Yeah. We're still gay.
Checking in. And actually, that's getting harder.
Is it? Oh, gay guys? It's getting worse? Yeah. It gets worse.
Bowen said the other day, done with gay guys. I didn't say that.
I said I need to take a break from gay guys. Y'all are annoying.
I don't think so, gay guys. What do you think? What do you think? Well, I love gay guys.
I can't get enough of this stuff. Everywhere I go, I go, ah! It's crazy.
I'll be in another city and I'll immediately be like, ah! The London ones are chic. They're heaven on earth.
I love my community. You know, I was talking to my dad yesterday about like living in like New York or LA or the age old question.
And I was like, maybe I'll go live in London. That'd be fabulous.
Maybe I will just go do that. They'd adore you.
The gays there, you say they're chic? They're very chic. Yeah.
I mean, period. End of sentence.
Well, I walk into the studio. I go to your producer.
I go, hey, where does Matt live? That's where we're at. I live everywhere.
You live at all. Matt, what I realized, he is feeling, he's going through uprooting constantly.
What? He does not root anywhere. Oh, uprooting.
You know what I mean? I don't root. It's scary to root.
It's scary to root, especially because you've tried to root before and it's been like a mistake. You know what I

mean? Why do you live in, bleep it, Brooklyn?

Me? Yeah.

Why? You're asking me why? Yeah. So far from your

job. Oh my God.
Yeah, she wants

to know why you don't live in Manhattan. I'm worried about you.

You're in Manhattan? Five years now.

But you were Brooklyn before.

For five years. But things changed.

But after the five years in both, she says,

Beau should be in Manhattan.

And that's where you belong.

Were you guys just,

because I was like,

were you guys just talking about this?

Yeah, because I go,

where is Bo and coming from?

And that's why.

And I go,

why would Bo and live there?

That's so interesting.

You love it.

You love it.

I love it.

Do you have a fancy high rise?

I like,

it's not a high rise.

I like my apartment though.

That's sexy.

I love my apartment so much.

Okay, well, then I don't care.

But beyond that,

I can't give you a great reason beyond that. I just feel like your life could be so much easier.
Really? I just want the best for you. I want you to be close to your amazing job.
But like Manhattan is just like full of and I was one of them but I was like full of these little NYU kids and I'm just like, I stay away, stay away. Why do you love Manhattan? I go to NYU.
If you enrolled in NYU now, that would be... What's it called? Mystery Box.
No, no, what's it called? Hammercats. You're in Hammercats.
I'm in Hammercats Mystery Box. You would actually really do well.
I'm the only person in their 30s in Hammercats. They would worship you.
Catco was the, to my mind, it's like you and like Melissa Rich, it's like the one cis woman who comes to Fire Island. Oh my God.
And everyone just worships her. Have you been? You haven't been in a while, have you? I went for one day last year, but I've been, I've been twice.
But yeah, I describe it as like during the day, you're the bell of the ball. The lights go down.
They trample over your dead body. You're fully being stomped to death i'm like yeah but that happens that happens to anyone that's how the stampede begins been there last week how was fun you know it was low-key the most recent time because there were no parties and it was actually but we're always looking there were parties it's just there was no like theme there was no no like, like.
It wasn't like this. Was it more like.
It was more like. So basically what we did this year was we.
Well, you weren't there the first. In June, we went to Fire Island, but he was shooting in Vancouver.
So I was there on like an off week in June and like the week before Labor Day this time. And then when we went to Provincetown, we were there for family week.
So we kind of weren't there for any of the party weeks anywhere, but we had like sort of our little alt vacation moments. I see.
Are you very alt? P-Town or Fire Island? It's hard to say. New York or LA.
Am I right? Oh, Manhattan or Brooklyn. I want to like, I've never been to P-Town.
I want to like P-Town. Everyone adores it.
I think you would adore it. Everyone's adoring it,

but it seems far away.

Yeah.

It is,

but also like in the grand scheme,

like not really.

I will say like,

getting there feels like

less of a whole,

like,

it's like a grand majestic moment

when you get to Fire Island.

It's so intense.

Yeah.

It's a lot.

I did take a tiny plane

to Provincetown.

Shut up.

And I felt like I was in an old film. Cape Scare Scare Yeah a plane from where? Boston Boston I don't want to go there Tiny Tiny plane I don't want to go there Girl you gotta You're like Renee Rapp I hate Boston vibes Oh my god I newly love her I just learned about her Because my young friend told me Who's your young friend? My young friend Carly Shout out Shout out You to keep a Gen Z girl around to tell you who the girls are.
Yeah, I go, is this okay? Or tell me. I go, I actually am not.
I'm not going to get into it. You must.
You must. I try to think what I ask her.
I'll be like, oh, now I actually sound like I'm a hundred years old, but I go, what is body tea? Oh, body tea. Someone said body tea to me.
And I go, so can you tea everything? And she goes, no. I mean, when your body is tea, it means like you look good.
I knew it was a good thing. So someone said body tea to me.
And I go, so can you tea everything? And she goes, no. When your body is tea, it means like you look good.
I knew it was a good thing. So someone said body tea to you.
Oh, body tea. Lady tea.
Lady tea. Lady tea.
Lady tea. Lady tea, too.
Sorry to bring it back. What was that from? It's from your last episode.
Is that from the last episode? That was in 1996. That was 96.
I texted you and I go, I haven't talked to y'all since 90,

you since 93.

I saw you in 96

because we had drinks.

96, we had drinks.

But in 95,

we saw each other

at the opening night

of O'Mary Off-Broadway.

I know, but for one second.

For one second.

One calendar second.

That's not enough seconds at all.

I know.

So when are you back at work?

I don't fucking know.

You don't, not me.

Not me.

Are you happy about everything? Yeah, get into the real strip. Are you guys happy about everything or sad? I'm okay.
I don't think so, honey. I never see you ever.
No, no, no. And can I tell you something? This is one of the reasons why I want to be back in New York is because truly my family of friends is here.
But that's so funny because I look at my phone. I get back in town and I go, who lives here? Who lives here? I don't even know anymore.
Well, that is a hard thing. I will say there's like- that is a hard thing I will say Mr.
P is gone Mr. P Mr.
P is an L my god we did an escape room with him that's crazy in fact I think he told me that sentence and I go I'm ignoring that every five years we do an escape room with Pat and our friend Jared who loves you and you know well I love Jared but here's my impression of me in an escape room let's go I want you to know that's really kind of the vibe for all of us. But we all have our own little skills that contribute.
Would you say the key to an escape room is everyone's spread out and everyone shout from one end of the room to the other what the person on the other end of the room should do. Does that make sense? That's perfect.
If you do enough, you get good at it. Like, I've done enough now where I'm like, I know.
There was like a, remember there was that woman, it was like an old frog woman? Okay, so in this last escape room we did. Stop talking about me like that.
I can't spoil it. What's body tea? In the corner.
Frog woman is good? We did one in LA and there was like a frog woman who was wearing an outfit and every item of clothing

was a different color.

And I said,

that's going to come into play.

Come to find.

Why was there a woman in it?

I don't know.

I can't with you on the mic.

Misophonia is real.

Hollywood be like.

Hold on.

Because I'm waiting to eat

until after the podcast

because he was late.

Don't let your friend eat.

Thank you.

Not on the mic

because I'm looking out

for all the readers

with Misophonia out there.

The readers of Misophonia,

you are a community.

I don't know. to eat until after the podcast because he was late.
Let your friend eat. Thank you.
Not on the mic because I'm looking out for all the readers

with Misophonia out there.

The readers of Misophonia,

you are a community.

Y'all don't shut the fuck up,

ironically.

Y'all don't stop making sounds.

Jesus Christ.

See, I would never

alienate the fans.

Only the Leos.

I'm jet lag brain.

You're actually

you're top of mind.

No, you guys.

That's because this is

a really exciting moment. Top of mind.
Is it? Top of mind No you guys That's because this is A really exciting moment

Top of mind

Is it?

Top of mind

Titu

Mind Titu

What's top of mind for you?

Pop culturally

I don't know

Something that everyone

Saw 10 years ago

I just watched

Game of Thrones

Let's talk about it

Here's what I'll tell you

Vanderbump Rules

And Game of Thrones

Are your two binges

I watched all of

Game of Thrones last summer

Unbelievable show

Check it out

And I want to be on it. Chex watch.
Where is it filming? I watched. House of the Rising Dragon.
Don't ever yell at me again. House of the Rising Dragon.
I want to rail, rail, rail, bounce, bounce, bounce on that guy from Dragon. Which one now? The one in House of Dragon who's like.
Matthew? Matt Smith? Matt Smith. Matt Smith.
We met him. Where? Big fuck energy.
He was at Tribeca Film Festival. He was playing Robert Mapplethorpe in a movie.
Oh my God. Yeah.
And he was down to fuck. He looks over at us in our jackets.
And I remember making eye contact. Oh no, it was charged.
And he goes, it suits you. Is he B? Did he give B? He gave B.
Like, he wanted to fuck both of us. I'm so jealous.
It was giving, it was, and I don't know this about him, and I know that I'm on one with this word, but it was giving like narcissists, like, it's like, I want you to leave this room being like, he would fuck me. That's the headline.
That's the pull quote. Rogers calls Matt Smith a nurse.
Not nurse. Nurse.
NARS liquid concealer. I am so attracted and it makes me, I'm actually really horny right now.
Yeah. Good.
Yeah, good. Where Brian at? I know.
Never see him. I have a boyfriend never seen him in my life.
He's always, we're always gone. Was he in London? No, what I mean is that we moved in together in May and we haven't lived there for once.
because of death you shouldn't have done that stop no he's you know he's the best man on earth no he is I think Thursday evening I'll hopefully get torn torn in half split in half with love split in half by a really by a good man split in half by my beloved title of M split in half by my beloved now well I told you pre-pod who I wanted to split me in half. You don't love that.

No, I want to be split in half by my beloved.

Who do you want to be? I want Theo Vaughn to split me.

Oh, my God.

And I still don't know who that is.

I think that is doable.

Theo, if you're watching.

Theo, reach out.

Reach out to my team.

You guys aren't Ope.

Every now and then we're like, are we?

Oh.

Oh.

No, we're not.

We did it for one second.

We're both like, ah.

Yeah.

I can't imagine.

How scary.

I know, but life is so long. I long I know Life is scary Life is so scary Are you single? Yeah And you're single Yeah But he's going on a date tonight I know Believe it I was telling Catherine I was telling Catherine That like I have done that thing Where it's like I've come to New York And like Over scheduled myself On that type of thing I get it There is one guy that I'm liking quite a bit.
Really? But I also have my walls. I haven't met him.
Like up, up, up. Your walls are up? Oh, the walls are up.
Ted them down. I've never had a wall.
And they were always so down and now post one experience, they're up. But like, but I'm trying.
Post experience. You're living in a post experience.
It's a sick treatment conversation, I think. I think you're coming on.
I'm going on. I'm going on Saturday.
This is a big announcement. It's all happening.
Do you guys, you know what I think? Actually, I'm feeling so, I'm feeling, it's 2024. I finally feel normal.
Yeah? That's great. Since 2019.
Yes. That's when I was normal and happy.
And then, crazy, crazy, crazy. And even the last few years I've been just like, like scratching through and now I'm like,

something about being back

at the Edinburgh Festival

as well,

like being among,

like just among the crowds

and the people

and just being like,

I love life.

Like I feel normal again.

That's top of mind,

being normal,

being horny.

Did you,

did you,

did you lose horniness

during the pandemic?

Oh,

first half I was

having the best sex

of my life.

Because also, we were only,

Brian and I hadn't been together that long,

so it was like a fuck fest.

And then the past two years,

I was on so many antidepressants,

I was just dried, shrivel, shrivel, shrivel.

And then now, I'm getting my groove back, as they say.

Isn't that interesting?

I also feel I'm getting my horny groove back.

Really?

Yeah.

Are you age?

I'm age, and I'm medicated.

Yeah. 2.5 milligrams of Lexapro a day

that you're not going to feel.

What's normal?

I got my little pill cutter.

No, no, no.

The minimum dose,

the smallest dose that come in is five.

And I have to,

because five zaps me down.

Really?

I was on 10 and it was not good.

Five, I felt kind of amazing.

And then I went to 10 thinking,

oh, this is a quote unquote real dose.

Yeah.

And I was getting more depressed,

I think because I like couldn't feel my body

Oh, yeah. kind of amazing.
Yeah. And then I went to 10 thinking, oh, this is a quote unquote real dose.
Yeah. And I was getting more depressed,

I think because I like couldn't feel my body,

aka penis.

It's so.

And I need to feel my penis to feel like Matt Rogers.

I just do.

Yeah.

I can't be myself if I don't have access to my dick.

I'm on 10 of pro.

And I, I mean, here's what happens.

Every like six months, I'll be like,

this isn't doing anything.

Stop taking it. Start crying.
Start taking taking it again life's a rollercoaster I keep actually I actually have to stop I keep going up to people in their face and going that's so sweet I don't know if it's sweet I love that how do you think it started I'm so happy how do you think it started this behavior I just want to I just love everyone right now oh my god you know what You know what I've been doing and I don't know where it came from? I wink at people and I say, my love. My love.
I call everyone my love and I wink. My love is tough.
My love is worse than lover, I think. Lover.
By the way, to answer your question, who's afraid of love? So I lean past the garden and I go save down the street. Now I'm going to the garden and I rip it away.
She's got a lot of gardens in her song. I fucking, you know I fucking love her.
Of course. I mean, you know that I'm seeing her a sixth time.
Where? Miami. Have you seen it yet? Have you seen the rest of her yet? Yeah, I went in Denver, Colorado.
Same. Oh yeah.
I think we were like on Instagram stories being like, where are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the stadium being so big.
Yes, it was so wonderful. Oh, it's the best concert.
Now, do you guys, this is a question we always come back to on a little podcast. I like to call C Treatment.
But we always come back to this question. Do you think Kelsey's endgame? Oh, do I think it's- Do you think Kelsey is endgame? I think so.
So do I. I think Kelsey is endgame in terms of- Baby.
Every intention that they have right now. I don't know what craziness goes on at that level of celebrity at that height.
Like what could happen, what does happen. Let me tell you.
I think they're going for it. I think she's going to have a babe.
I think she is- I think album 13 is going to be the pregnancy, the baby album. I would love to watch her and learn from her.
Why do you say album 13? Is that just because you think that the 13 is? Just the numerology of it. So you think there will be a 12 that is like a different era that we don't know yet? Oh wait, so we're at 11? We're at 11.
Oh, there's going to be a 12. So 12 has to come first, obviously.
Famously. How did you think of that? I don't know.
I think she's going to do 12 and it's going to be something.

13 is not going to be baby album

or it's going to be back to country

first debut vibes.

Yeah, well, it makes sense.

I think the next album has to be

because she's probably tired as fuck.

I'm worried about...

He's nodding.

He's like, hell yeah.

You think she's tired?

Yeah.

Who wouldn't be?

Who wouldn't be?

I'm like, what's going to...

I'm like, when the tour ends, like...

Yeah, what do you think she's going to? She's going to. It's going to be so intense.
That's such an intense feeling. Me worried about her.
No, no, no. She's going to go into like Death Valley and let out an hour long fart.
It's going to be such a relief. She hasn't farted in two years.
She hasn't farted in so long. I don't do that.
I bet Travis farts in front of her all the time. And do you think, how long do you think it took Taylor Swift to stop being like, stop? Or do you think she thinks it's fucking rad? There's a clip.
There's a little snippet of them. I forgot who released it.
But it was like one of them. It was either Taylor or Travis released it.
But it's like Taylor's cooking, like babysitting like a stovetop. And he just sneaks up behind her and kisses her on the cheek.
And I'm like, OK, I don't care. Like, that's real.
That's real love. Mary J.
Blige. A hundred percent.
You know what I mean? Of course. I believe it's real.
Of course it is. Do you guys believe in love? Yes.
Oh, me too. But it's hard sometimes.
What would you bring back from Edinburgh? What do you miss the most? What did I bring back? What would you bring back culturally from Edinburgh? Oh my God. I mean, for me, I just love, I love the vibes, the haunted city, the beautiful architecture, the weather.
I love like, that's why I'm happy to come back to autumn. And I love being singularly focused on a task at hand.
So every day you sleep late, you're so, it's Broadway. It's like, you're like every day, like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Yeah. Yeah, good.
What about y'all? I mean, this is literally my time. What's going on with you? Oh, I just.
The train. I'll tell you later.
The train for sure. It's the train, isn't it? It's defo the train.
Yeah, we'll talk. We yeah yeah is it work yeah it's like works yeah it's work stuff

work sucks I know

she left me roses

by the stairs

surprise us let me know

she goes

she left me roses

by the stairs

wait do you remember

this song

do you remember

wow

wait that was

so good

yeah

hammer cats

mystery box

he can whip out

the high harmony

like that

danger box

okay so that's actually

so close you were really close very close danger box hammer cats ah AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH feelings are on Sabrina Carpenter because I do feel like Obviously, I want to open for her. I think we're a match made in heaven.
Literally, I was thinking the same thing. I think I should open for you on your tour.
I think you would die for me and I would take a bullet for you. She's fabulous.
She's fabulous. I think you're a little bit chapel.
You're a little bit Charlie. You're a little bit Sabrina.
You're actually all three. That's so nice.
I feel connected to them all three spiritually. You are the white beam of light that refracts the prism.
I'm sorry. That's so beautiful.
Caucasian. Because you have Charlie.
You have Charlie, I think like impact. You have chapel energy and you have Sabrina POV.
Yeah. Oh, thank you.
And in 2024, you can do anything with that. Yeah.
Is that what we're almost done with that one, right? Oh my God. The year? Yeah.
Let's like. I think we're firmly, we're right on Q4.
I don't care about time and space. Are you about to just.
You're like Mariah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is that what she says? She doesn't believe in time. Mariah says that? Yeah.
How do you not know this? Like when people ask her her age or people are like, you're like this old. It's been like this long since this album.
She's like, I don't believe in time. I think she doesn't believe in saying her age.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, you know she's famously nocturnal. Oh, really? Oh, yeah.
Like you. Oh, no, no.
You wake up early. I sleep a lot.
I'm neither. My perfect world, I sleep 12 to 14 a night.
You're like Dakota Johnson. Adore.
Adore. Adore.
Every time she has a new headline, I go, that's my girl. Yeah.
She gets it. She hits it.
Wait, I think her and Chris Martin broke up. Did they? I did.
Did they now? Yeah. They broke up.
That doesn't really make me feel anything. What do you guys feel? I wish to them the best, but I think the vibes seemed off.
Yeah. Well, he must be a lot older, huh? I don't trust any man who wants attention.

Oh!

Leo.

Oh, I bet we can find out that he's a Leo.

Let's find out.

What is Chris Martin's astrological sign?

What Leos were you hating on?

Ben Affleck and Shawn Mendes.

Oh, yeah.

Can I tell you?

Okay, I did this crazy thing.

Did you, when it came out, watch the J-Lo documentary?

People scare. Does that mean anything to you? People Scare? People Scare.
What does that mean? There's a part in the J-Lo documentary where she's going Oh, people are scared. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is Kourtney Kardashian going to be in it? And she goes, no. Oh, and she goes, People Scare.
People Scare. People Scare.
People Scare. Because no one wanted to do...
Right, right, right. So I watched it again.
People Scare. And People S And people scared Two days ago I watched it again I don't know why But to sort of understand Like exactly What she was saying Now that it's all over And stuff It is fucking devastating What happened With them If you watch That documentary now Because she's sobbing The whole time About how it's like About how hard it was The first time they broke up And like how it's like made her believe in love again and that's why she's doing this is so people can believe in love and like it's rescued her, et cetera.
And like it's her best friend and what was so hard about the first time was losing her best friend and now it's like he's done this to her again. So what is happening because as someone who just watched Game of Thrones, I'm a little behind on the news.
What we need is a Dracarys on all Leo men. I'm

going to speak your language. He ended it.

He ended it. Although she is

by all appearances doing great.

She is posting on Insta.

What's she posting? Summer Carousel. The caption

is, oh, it was a summer.

And then there's a picture of her. Kind of tongue

in cheek. It looks like a Photoshop

shirt. She's in bloom and unbothered,

out of reach and a piece. Like too many words going on there.
It's a little bit salad-y. Title of up.
Title of up. She's in bloom and unbothered.
She's in bloom and unbothered. In bloom.
Chris Martin's a Pisces, by the way. I'm sorry.
Oh, and I like a Pisces. Okay, attack on my own domain.
You know, I have to shout out a new pop girl I'm obsessed with. Who? Maude Latour.
Maude Latour. Maude Latour is someone I admired on TikTok and then became friends with.
And her new album, Sugar Water, is so good. Great name.
Listen. Listen.
Cue it up. I had to plug that while I'm here.
Because I was listening to her on the walk here. I was like, something, something, something, something, something.
Maude Latour is getting play on. You're going to love it.
Wait, you know, who else I saw you post about who I fucking love is Gracie. Gracie's

my girl. I love you.
I'm sorry.

Babe, Gracie is my girl.

I owe her my firstborn because she got me

the Aeros tour ticket. Did she really?

Because I saw her open for Taylor. She crushed it, obviously.

Yes, I was there. I love you.

I'm sorry. I've listened to that every second of

every day for the past. Something about leaving London

as the summer turned to fall

two Augusts ago.

I was like, say it. It's really good.
She's a genius.

She's really good. And I was reading like a review of the first album.
I was like, I had like deep dive on Gracie. Hi, Gracie.
But she sings in this way that was described as an angry whisper. And I was like, that is what it is.
It's like this like really controlled and like very emotional like register that she sings in that's actually not like that like affect that a lot of the girls have it's actually specific and really fun and like emotional and I just really like the way that she does her thing and her writing is great I love Risk Risk to me was the moment that she like broke out for me. Yeah, it's so good.
Yeah, it's not, she's not doing the cursive singing thing in the way that like people who like derogatorily use that term. Is that what it's called? Cursive singing? That's so funny.
Let me ask, what's your favorite track on the new Sabrina? If you feel safe. Oh, it's so hard.
If you feel safe. Changes every day.
Juno? I'm a don't smile girl.

Bed Cam?

I'm not gonna lie.

I listen to Sharpest Tool

every second of every day

and taste.

My favorite

hasn't been mentioned yet.

Is it Esther Resto?

Coincidence.

Oh, I love Coincidence.

It's a Joanie song.

It's Ladies at the Canyon.

It's like...

And the bridge?

What a surprise.

It's a fucking song melodically she's fucking cool she's fucking cool melodically I said it you are Sabrina I'm Sabrina with brown hair with brown and red that's what makes you a little bit of your sweater is chapel your hair is Charlie and Charlie. And what's inside of you, your heart, is Sabrina.
And at the end of the day, I'm just kitty cat. Meow.
Kitty cat. Wait, what song is getting disrespected again and again and again on Sabrina's album? Dumb and poetic.
Yeah, dumb and poetic I feel doesn't get the shine. I think maybe because it exists.
It's like in the 10 spot on the album or something or like 9 or 10. People feel called out by it,

I think.

Oh, good.

Like you've read every self-help book,

like jockeying off to lyrics by Leonard Cohen.

Like this is a lot of people.

Promise the mushrooms

aren't saving your life.

That's going to make a lot

of 25-year-old men

feel really upset.

Did y'all watch The Valley?

Yes.

So I watched it

because I'm new to the Vanderpump universe

and the best thing I've,

maybe the best thing I've ever seen on TV

was when the guy in the hat

comes back from the ayahuasca retreat.

Oh, yeah.

I was like, this is the,

I was like, comedy over

because this is the only funny thing I've ever seen.

Yep.

He was like, he put on a different costume

to tell his wife who wants him dead in a ditch.

Michelle, yeah.

Shout out to Michelle.

A demon, by the way.

Is she?

She's, I just get the sense that she's,

oh, I think that the director that she fucked was Quentin Tarantino, by the way. I found that out.
That's juicy. Right? Yeah.
I didn't know that. It's Quentin.
I would. Remember in the show, she's like, whatever, I've flirted.
Yeah, she's like, I'm selling a house to a guy. To a guy.
Like a Hollywood... Like a cool Hollywood guy.
And it's allegedly Quentin Tarantino. And I Googled.
I was like, who could this be? Some amazing actor amazing actor. And I was like, oh, it's Quentin.
How did we, you just Googled it? I Googled it and that came up. Oh, so this is ready.
This is out there. And I'm like, LOL, this girl is so funny.
But talk about the guy. What's his name again? Jesse.
Jesse. Jesse Lally.
Lally? Lally. Yeah, and can I say something? You make me wanna Lally.
This is my disease. I'm super horned up for him.
And that's what I need to fix. He is physically attractive.
And then when he starts being how he is, it's over. But when he comes in the beanie and he's like- Yeah, the beanie.
I've changed. Yeah.
I was like, this is the best thing I've ever seen on television. Yeah.
But that reminds me of the mushrooms are not changing your life. Well, that's that type of guy.
If you don't call them then all of a sudden they'll become a 40 year old man that you have kids with who is gonna be doing this and she's sitting there being like right I married and bred with this man scary and I actually didn't like her at all all season until the last episode what did she in the last episode it was like post her filing for divorce or whatever. And she basically was just like, I'm not dealing with you anymore.

Like the wishy-washiness the whole time because she so clearly didn't want to be with him.

But like still being in it and like allowing him to think he had a chance.

I was like, mama, like cut it.

Like he's not the one for you.

We all know it. It's over.

And then when she started to be real at the end, it was like, he would say some shitty thing and she'd be like, nope, nope. I was like, this girl I'm interested in watching on TV.
Okay. Okay, I'm listening.
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Do you?

No.

No, you go.

I was going to say, what drugs do you guys like?

I might be on a break with, speaking of mushrooms, I might be on a break with psychedelics.

I'm like, I don't feel the.

The pull. The va-va-voom.
The rush. I feel the rush.
Addicted to your touch. I'm even on a break with weed.
I think I'm going to go a little so... When did your break start? Because we smoked weed like the other day.
I know, but I'm saying that was the last time. It's over.
That was the last time? Yeah. Okay, Matt has like a...
Y'all are fighting today. No, I'm not fighting.
A little bit. He's squinting and glaring a little bit.
I just think it's funny that you said you're on a break with weed. We smoked weed the other day.
I'm done. I'm done with the weed, with the alcohol.
Really? Alcohol has definitely reduced. Yeah.
Well, as you can see, we have a new fixation. Well, this is an amazing taste.
No problem.

This is like,

this is only good for you.

Diete.

I love it.

Oh, my God.

Oh, wow.

I didn't even see that.

Oh, I just got back from London.

So you can tell us

what that means.

That's why I noticed.

Y'all have Canadian,

European Diet Cokes.

I have gross American.

Well, I think that

there's a bunch floating around.

Hey, are you okay?

You don't have this?

That's so sorry. That's so sorry.
That's so sorry. I love you.
I'm sorry. You were the best.
No, I celebrate your brand new break from marijuana. I wonder how long it can last because I have the same desire and then you do start to get a little bit of the itch.
I feel like marijuana is one that's hard to give up for For some reason. We just got to sit alone with our thoughts and be okay with it.
Well, that's not okay. That's the hard part.
Embrace. Really? Don't journal.
No, I should. I was thinking if you had to start again.
Buckle up. Just let it rip.
Did it help the last time? The last time I journaled, I was going through the worst pain and time of my life.

I'm so sorry.

No, I'm saying, but I'm like, do shit.

Well, you know, it's not necessarily supposed to help in the moment.

Sometimes it's just writing down what it is that you're feeling and then you can look at it later and help parse it out.

Like that's been my experience is like all the raw shit I wrote down when I was really feeling bad that wasn't working in the moment.

It was kind of like I looked back later and then it was able to make sense. So sometimes it's just about like logging what it is you're feeling.
Just so you can look at it later. My hand's so slow next to my head.
Isn't that the truth? Right. I go blah blah blah.
What's going on up here? Brilliant. What comes out here? Slow garbage.
Garbagio. I know.
I gotta get get back to the... You got to get back to the type.

I got to start thinking of some new ideas.

We're losing handwriting.

We are.

But look, it's a beautiful rediscovery

if you're like,

that's how I write my T's.

How good does it feel?

Even now, even now,

to get a perfect pen

and test out a little.

And what do you always write?

Because I always go, hey.

I always write H-E-Y.

What do you say?

I do my signature.

I'm my signature. Oh, that's nice.
Okay. I don't have a locked sig.
You don't? I haven't locked it. I think I haven't locked mine either.
Really? What? But you've been signing for a while. Wait, someone got to pay a pen and a paper.
You've been signing for a while. You've been signing for, how long now? 10 years? How long have you been signing? How long have you been on SNL? Because I can't remember.
Five, six. No, I'm going to my seventh overall.
That's amazing. Okay.
Are we going to lock? Do what you think your signature is. Are we locking today? Yes, we have to lock.
Okay, I'm going to do what I think it is. I've had the same one for years.
The thing is... You can't think.
You have to just do it. We're not going to lock.
No, don't do it with the pressure of locking.

Oh.

Oh, okay.

Well, now what?

Well, now what?

We're trying to lock

signatures here.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Should I get married?

Oh!

Wait, wait.

What the hell was that?

I got distracted.

Honestly, that's kind of

what I do, though.

That's honestly what I do.

I go big C

and then another C

and then kind of like

just let it.

Can I tell you,

that is actually basically Celine Dion's signature. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Famously. She's one of those artists that like almost all of her albums have her signature on the cover.
Oh, that's funny. Should I do that? Okay, so that's Catherine's.
I'm going to do mine undercats. Oh, sorry.
I made mine so big. No, no, no.
It's okay. I was trying to- Hancock of you.
I'm trying to take up space. Very Leo.
Let me see.

I love that.

Let me do one more.

No, no, let me do one more.

That looks like Ray-Bans.

No, no.

It looks like it says Ray-Ban.

Well, you can't say that

when you sign the Declaration of Independence.

You can't say, can I get another shot?

They wouldn't invite me to that.

But they made it a thing.

Ray-Ban.

Okay.

Here's me.

Mr. R.

Mickey Mouse.

What does that say?

That's beautiful.

If the whole time I was signing my signature Mickey Mouse and no one called me out at Disney World they used to do autograph books yep and then I will never forget I think the moment I turned gay was going up to Mulan at the China Pavilion at Epcot and she was in like the whole like matchmaking like please bring honor to us all geesh and I gave her the book. She signed it Mulan, just like in the logo of the movie.
And then she... And I just stared at this like kiss print for years.
Do you know what's so funny? My memory of Mulan is I remember falling into a really deep depression because I saw it in theaters and I go, I remember like pacing the hallways of my. I must have been, what, like seven or eight? I don't know.
Pacing the hallways and going, I can't believe how long it will be before I can watch Mulan at home. Oh my God.
And I was like- You loved it that much. I loved it.
I was just learning what my first depressive episodes were in that home and just being like, when will I ever, ever feel the joy of Mulan again? Like being just like so, I just remember like pacing the hallway, hands on the walls, like where is Mulan? This is incredible. It's one of the best movies of all time.
It is. And y'all know that I had an experience recently at Disney because you know I've never really been before.
What was your experience? Tell us about your experience. The Tower of Terror triggered my period.
Which I hadn't had in eight months because of my disorder. Shout out to the girls with my PCOS girls.
I don't get it. So I was on the Tower of Terror.
I literally go absolutely silent. It's not called that anymore, but it should be.
So get over it. And was this Florida or Anaheim? I will not go to Florida by choice.
So you were in the Guardians of the Galaxy. I was in.
Sure. But it's Tower of Terror.
Yeah, I, yeah. I go, I go completely limp.
I'm completely silent. I'm like, no.
I walk off, mind you, I haven't had a period in almost one calendar year. All of a sudden, I'm like, I do, I do a quick check.
Blood. Oh, no.
I go to our sweet, sweet guide. I go, I go, this is so crazy, but do you have a tamp? She goes, of course.
Oh my God. Yes, of course I do.
She goes, of course, the bathrooms are all stocked with free supplies. Amazing.
So shout out. That's amazing.
Shout out, Walt. Do you remember her name, the guy? Of course.
You know what? She remembers her name. Bleep it.
Bleep it. Of course I do.
She remembers her name. It was Latouche.
She was. It was.
Latouche. It was.
It was Lemon. Lemon.
It was Lemon. Bleep it.
Do you know?

It was Lemon Maloney.

I think Lemon Maloney.

It was Mrs. Girl.

I feel that maybe that Mulan may have remembered you years later when we went back.

Really?

No, it was a different Mulan.

Well, because I was like. It was canonically Mulan though.

How often do y'all go?

In the world where we're not breaking the fantasy, that was Mulan.

That was Mulan.

How often do we go?

A couple times a year.

Okay.

Yeah, I'd say that's about fair. Like in the totality of the parks, like it doesn't matter where the park is.
Matt, living in LA, I think has access to it in a way that I don't. Well, I- By being closer to it.
Closer to it. And that gives you the access.
I went with you a few weeks ago, and before that I hadn't been in quite some time. But- But no, but do you want to tell everybody? The great story is that we went with Dave Mazzoni.
We were about, on about a metric ton of mushrooms. No, not mushrooms.
Weed. Weed, rice crispy treats.
Rice crispy treats. Cool.
That had turned us into soup. So we walked up to the China Pavilion and wouldn't you know it, Mulan was greeting guests that day.
She was actually courting visitors. So we said, can we go see her? And she had no line, which racism.
I think it was racism at play. Because you look over at Anna and Elsa and it's around the corner.
Crazy. Get out.
Never seen a Never Will. Never seen Frozen? But would love to work with them.
No, I've never seen Frozen. Never seen it, Never Will, but would love to work.
I don't watch movies for kids. But you don't have kids in your life who are like obsessed with it? I don't know any kids.
Okay, this is so special. I don't.
I love it. You gotta watch Frozen.
I'm not gonna watch that. Okay.
What am I gonna go home and watch it? Yeah. I gotta lie.
No, not really. Finish the story.
You got a long plane. You're gonna go past Paris.
Tell me. Maybe on there.
Tell me. So here's what's going to happen in the story that I'm going to tell.
So Mulan sees me, Dave, and Bowen. And we take pictures with her.
We actually assume the position. We like pose.
Oh, cute. And then she turns to us and she goes, you will be amazing warriors.
Oh, my God. You will be amazing.
Yes, she did. What do you mean that she did not say that? What did she say? Now what's going to happen is lots of readers are going to be like, yes, that is what she said.
That is the line. But what did she say? Because we were so stoned, the sort of Mandela effect thing that's going on here is that I...
I feel like I'm going crazy. No, no, no.
She said something, but it was because you were saying, you were repeating this over and over again and I was dying crying laughing because I don't know why, but she did not say that. You will be amazing warriors.
She said that. First of all, why wouldn't she say that? That feels like a line they would give Mulan to tell the guests.
You will be amazing warriors. Like did a pose.
She was like, we have to do the fighting pose. She was like, we have to do the fighting pose.
And we did. And then she looked at us afterwards.
And the line that the cast member was clearly given, which she said was, you will be amazing warriors. And maybe she didn't say it the dropped in way that I'm giving it.
But she definitely said, you will be amazing warriors. At least.
Something. I mean, not to bring up this word, but it is so demure the way you were doing it.
That's the dropped-in way. It's hard, yeah.
I think she wanted to, like, shoo us away. She was like, get these gay guys away from me.
No, I bet she loved you. Maybe she's a fan.
Do you identify as demure or brat? I'm like, okay. Ask your Gen Z friend.
What's her name? Kaylee. First of all, I know what both things are.
I'm part of the conversation. I wish I was Brat, but I'm not, obviously.
I don't think you're, I'm asleep. I'm asleep.
Which is not even demure. And I can't bump that.
I can't, I am not bumping that. Right.
I'm not legally allowed to have cocaine because I have a heart condition you're not missing anything I tried it once don't don't repeat that that's okay don't repeat that literally everyone in this room has tried it once okay so I'm a loser cocaine addicts everywhere behind the cameras you guys think I'm a loser everyone here thinks I'm a loser um that's not one of the drugs we like it's not no no so bump in that fentanyl is out there you can't be having that no I don't like that am I demure? I think probably I'm definitely defo you know what I always think of with you is a word you introduced me to in 1991 let me guess it's a really beautiful word and it's one of my favorites. Jejeun.
I knew because I know. It's such a cackle.
It's such a good word and I always think of you in the annoyance basement. Going jejeun.
There was a period of time where that was his favorite word. You will do that.
You will sort of find a word that you love saying and you use it. I don't think so.
Yeah, no. It'll come.
Recently, this word keeps coming but it has its seasons and it has a dark origin story. Which is what? The word is...
You will be amazing words. You will be amazing words.
Amazing. The word is imprimatur.
Now, I don't know what that is. It means like name.
It means like the Cat Cohen imprimatur.

It's like the Sikh treatment imprimatur.

That's like the name recognition.

Okay?

That's like your... What's brought this one back?

Taylor Swift reputation.

Nothing.

It just pops back in my head and I'm like,

oh, like that's...

Imprimatur.

That's his imprimatur.

Imprimatur.

But the origin story is

when the first season of Celebrity Apprentice was out and Ivanka Trump was one of the sort of people who sat next to Donald. You can call them judges.
Judges. She was doing press and I was like captivated by Ivanka.
Wow. I was like, this woman is so amazing.

And I was like 17 years old.

Oh my God.

This woman, and this was before Trump was Trump.

I was like this, I mean, whatever, whatever that means.

But I was like, this woman's amazing.

And then she was in interviews being like,

well, that's my father's imprimatur.

And I was like, that's the most beautiful word

I've ever heard in my life from the most beautiful woman.

And now look where we are. Yeah, I think it's because people sort of normalized her.
And they do to this day. They call her beautiful.
They say what she says is beautiful. They say everyone should say what she says.
And she kissed the signature. She kissed the autograph book.
Can I ask you all something? What's your rose and thorn of the summer? Oh my God, we just did this last episode. We literally just did this.
Did you really? That's so funny. Now that it's post-labor.
I was like, we need to unpack the summer a little bit. We could give another one because I don't even know if we necessarily know.
Who did you have on the last episode? Nobody. You're our first guest in the month.
Of the autumn. Our entire summer was just us.
That's fun. Yeah.
I've been, all the time I wonder like, how do you guys record? Is it all on Zoom? When are you ever here? We've been together a lot. That's nice.
Yeah. It's so fucking hard, isn't it? So hard.
It is hard. You guys fully on different coasts now.
Yeah, it's hard. It's crazy.
Sometimes I'm like, what have I been saying for five years? Oh, you mean hard in terms of like hosting a podcast still? I just meant like doing it every week, but then I was, then I thought like, and what am I even saying when I get on? But like we like we are like dinosaurs in the industry. Y'all invented it for me because y'all are even y'all are way before Seek Treat.
But like Seek Treat is like. I know.
We've been doing it a while. We are like.
It's crazy. We are not too young.
No. Do you know what I mean? But I don't, someone doesn't believe in time and space.

Mariah's ideology.

I feel young.

I go back and forth.

I go back and forth.

Sometimes I'm like,

it depends on what area of my life I'm in.

Yeah.

Professionally,

I still feel pretty young.

Personally,

I'm starting to feel old.

Really?

I feel like I'm just getting started, boys.

We are all young.

Your age.

If your age,

you're young.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that's, yeah. Horny.
Horny. Yeah.
Yeah. It just depends on the day.
Wait. So you were saying Rose and Thorn.
Rose and Thorn. Rose was, I went on a lot of trips.
That was fun. That was kind of like the one thing I craved all year.
Which trip was your favorite? Which trip was my favorite? I liked this most recent Fire Island one. Oh, nice.
It was nice. And then Thorn was, this is so eye-roll, but because of those trips, like I was not settled into home as much as I, I feel like I missed out on a lot of New York summer.
Yeah. And that's okay.
For me, I think it was great. Rose, I'm trying to say something different than we just said because my rose that I said last week was swimming in Sicily.
Oh, how divine. Oh my God.
Have you been? I've never been to Sicily. Should I? So basically like it's so gorgeous getting there is kind of hard.
Where do you fly from where? You fly into Boston. You take a tiny plane from Boston.
To what is it called? Catania. Catania.
Dolores. Well, okay, so...
Catania Cohen. They've all heard this already,

but a volcano exploded

and made our flight delayed, etc.

So we get there late.

Y'all went together.

We went together with a few friends.

Cute.

And we were having the most amazing time

and then I'm swimming in Sicily

in the seas

and I get stung by a jellyfish.

So that was a rose in the thorn

actually literally in the same moment.

In the same moment.

And how life is that?

Because it was like

being in the sea... And how life is that? How life is that? How life is that? Oh my God.
And did someone go pissy on it? Get this. What? You find out it's a myth because that'll make it worse.
How life is that? How life is that? How life is that? That's the title of that. Learning a lesson is how life is that.
Wait, y'all do so many fun group trips. Yeah.
Do girls do that? Yeah. I want to go on one.
One of my friends. I go invite me.
One of my friends, Melissa, recently goes like, sometimes I want to go on your gay trips. Yeah.
And I was just like, I completely get that. And I think that one thing I've been like going over in my brain is like, when we were like younger, we didn't get to have like close gay male friends at all.
And so I think that's why sometimes it can feel a little bit like, especially for like the women that we're close to that are like feeling like quote unquote left out of things. Not that sounds like you're saying.
No, I said it. I'm like, that looks so fun.
Like I'd love to be included. I have heard this before from our close female friends too.
Like, I mean like, and I sometimes I'm like, I get why it feels that way. But also there is something to the fact of we did not get to literally have each other at all

until we were in our 20s.

And so it's kind of nice to feel like

we're making up for lost time in that regard

because, you know, like little girls

could have sleepovers together.

They could be like girls only, you know,

they could do whatever.

And like gay men didn't have that.

Yeah, yeah, fair enough.

Yeah.

I never want my life to become like couple centric.

I feel like so many like straight women, it's like all of a sudden they're just like, we do everything like and then in a couple, I'm like, I want to have like friends forever. No, 100%.
I want to have a million friends forever. How life is that? How life is that? You want like checks mix of friends.
Yeah, I just want life to always be love. Couples exclusivity is annoying and that reminds me of the Valley too.
Oh. Oh yeah.
When they all went on the couples trip trip and then like. Oh, the fucking baby moon.
The baby moon. First of all, I'm a Janet apologist.
Hey. I haven't made up my mind on Janet.
I'm praying for her. I mean, Kristen is tough.
Kristen is the best. You love Kristen.
Kristen is the greatest character of all time on TV. Have you ever seen anything like it? No.
I can't believe it. I can't believe it moments in a moment.
Also, what do you think of Luke? Well, I have to say that now that I've finished my VPR Valley journey, I've been diving into SUP, Sexy Unique Pod, with Carrie and Laura. And I am laughing.
I'm LMAFOing. The way they talk about Luke and Dodie, as they say, it makes like, so I'll just, I won't even bother because they, if you want to listen to that, just go, you have to go check it out.
But what are they saying about Luke and Dodie? They're just always talking about like Colorado culture in this very funny way. I look at Luke and I'm like, this is so cookie cutter.
Triggering. Yeah.
Yeah, it must be for you. Is your family still there? Parents are still there.
Doing the damn thing. Zooing the, remember when you came to my parents' Oh my God.
Dinner table? Were we ever so young? And the dog. I know.
I think he's since... I'm sorry.
It's okay. We had a special bond.
How life is that? How life is that? Dogs passing away is... It's absolutely hell on earth.
Dog in the city? For you and Bri? That's... I would love to have a dog in the city.
Would y'all want a dog? This fucking close. That would be really good.
I think it'd be so good for our brains. Yes.
And it gets you out of bed and it gets you in bed and it gets you- Keeps you accountable. Keeps you accountable.
And look at this one. Oh, wait.
I don't have my phone, but I'll show you my- So the issue is that my brother has this amazing dog. And you know, of course, my brothers both live in my building.
They do? They did. They're both moving out.
It's very sad. But I'm losing the dog in the move in the move oh no so I think Brian and I will adopt soon yes because you can't get a cat I'm allergic period and I don't like oh my god did you hear that? period that's so funny that's so funny oh Matt oh that's good oh Matt write that down that's good now I want about your tour.
I really write it down. Is it secret or has it been announced?

I actually don't care that it hasn't been.

I am going on tour and it will be announced in a couple weeks.

Je ne sais quoi.

Je m'appelle.

I can't wait.

But there's a twist.

There's a little bit of a twist.

What's the twist?

Is it secret?

That part, I'm going to keep a secret.

Okay, y'all naughty.

But it's also not that much of a twist. Watch when I reveal that it's, I'm blonde.
No, it's more than that. Wow.
You know who went blonde? Mary Beth Barone went blonde recently. I was like, it's always in my time.
Can I tell you something? What? You haven't said anything about my hair. I feel like it was always like that.
Is that new? You haven't said anything about the fact that I'm blonde. I feel like you've been blonde.
And you're supposed to, you, Catherine Cohen, are supposed to say something to me, Matt Rogers, about my hair. Yeah, I'm sorry about that, but I always thought you were blonde.
The blonde has been... Haven't you been blonde before recently? Four months? I look at my phone, I see you blonde.
Because I have been in the phone blonde a lot lately. Oh, that's right.
You've been in the phone blonde. I'm sorry.
That's why I didn't say anything. I see you in the phone blonde.
I'm kidding. I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding. I'm kidding.
I'm not kidding. Freudian slurp.
Paging Dr. Freud.
Do you like it? I love it. Thank you.
It's fabulous. How often do you have to do it? Every five weeks.
Five weeks is such a random amount of time. Yeah.
Not quite a month. Not quite a month.
Not quite a year. Not yet a woman.
The Goldilocks of time. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Five weeks.
Are you straightened right now? You're straightened right now. I gave myself a little blowout this morning.
I want to say that the Revlon brush has changed my life. Girls, y'all know.
And you have hair perfume in. Someone sent me a beautiful gift, and it was something called hair perfume.
Hair perfume. Hair perfume.
And I go, okay, so it's perfume. But it's called hair perfume, and it smells unbelievable.
It's Byrito. Oh, we love that company.
Can they send us stuff? Hey, hey, can y'all send us stuff by Rito? Have y'all worked with them? Have we? They've worked my wallet. Don't ever make me laugh like that again.
Okay, deal. I have bought so much product and their staff at all their retail locations are the most severe, wonderful people they should be like they should be like that although i did go to a um it's not like when you walk into a diptyque the vibes are sweet so everyone's lovely i actually disagree there's a dick dip there's a dick teak to this there's a dip dr freud there's a dip teak on bleaker where they weren't charmed by me.
Oh, that one's intense. They weren't charmed.
I walked in and I was like, they're going to be so charmed by this. No, because that one's kind of new.
They just renovated it and they're really like sort of like jacked up on that. They're like, yeah, we're new, you know? Yeah, okay.
There's that energy. Okay, fair enough.
The one in Williamsburg is really sweet. I was just at the one in Toronto.
Did you go to that one? I didn't make it in there. We were in Toronto for something and I went to that one and it was sweet vibes.
Love that. By rate out, they're going to scare you.
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Do you have a signature scent, everyone?

I've had a recent one.

Me too.

De Los Santos is what I wear lately. That sounds beautiful.

Byredo.

I don't have a Byredo one right now.

I have an Aesop wheel. Wheel.
H-W-Y-O. Now, is Aesop aspirational? Absolutely.
It is? Okay. Why wouldn't it be? Because I don't know.
I feel like I see it everywhere. It's too accessible.
You know what I'm saying? I don't want to. I hate to drag.
But I can't believe I'm differing with you on this. I'm an Aesop girl.
It's not. Okay.
It's all right. It feels like it's everywhere.
It feels like it's in, like, airports. Of course.
Well, airports are beautiful. Don't ever talk about...
No, don't even talk to me. LaGuardia.
We were leaving LaGuardia the other day. I didn't want to leave.
You could not get me out of there. But you know, it's hell on actual earth.
A little place called JFK. Last night, I have my huge bags.
I go, you know what they're doing to you now? This is very, I don't think so, honey vibes, but it's too boring. Wait, the Lyft? Yeah, it's the next state, crossing state lines.
It's terrible. They make you cross state lines to go to the rideshare pickup area.
I have 17 bags. No, it's not good.
And I used to be that kind of person that was like, I would literally pay more for like a different car to come get me where I am, but they

won't even allow you to do that. Now you have to

do the 20 minute journey.

Because LAX, they let the black, the Uber

black come. They do.
And that is

worth it every time. Every time.

I'm so sorry. I love you.
I'm sorry.

You were the best.

Me calling you a black. I love you.

I'm sorry. I am doing

naughty things in there. It's

so good. I know people that would

call the Uber black, just take it like right out

Thank you. I'm sorry.
I am doing naughty things in there. It's so good.
I know people that would call the Uber black, just take it like right outside the airport and then call another regular Lyft to not pay the whole thing. I don't want to look down on those people, but that's insane.
You were the best and you were the worst. I love you.
I love you. I'm sorry.
Two Augusts ago. That's all the truth.

I think you're Sabrina,

Chappell, Charlie,

and Gracie.

Well, that's why you guys are going to be excited

about my announcement.

What is it?

The one I can't.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, we know all about it.

Oh, Kecko.

Why can't I?

I already said it on my...

I mean, first of all,

can I say something?

You could do anything you want.

Guess what?

I'm making music.

I'm making music. I actually want to ask y'all because I want to do, well, I'll ask you off pod because I want to celebrate that.
Okay. 100%.
It's going to be major laser. Oh, I love that.
Major laser. I want to know everything about this.
That's what happens when you hang out with Sarah Squirm. I was just going to ring up Sarah Squirm, but can I tell you? That's why I say that because of her.
I don't know if she was the one who started it or if I was the one who started it. Wait, really? Oh, then it all comes back to you.
But now she's going to kill me because if she didn't expect it. She came into my home and started saying that to me and now my whole family is like- What, describing things as major laser? When you want to say something's major, you go, that is not major laser.
It's major laser. And now I just go like, it's major laze.
Major laser. Now Brian and I just go, it's laser.
We're just like, it's laser. It's laser.
It's giving major laser. That's how things, that's how culture gets created.
I actually think Sarah is one of the main cultural, what's the word I'm looking for? A paragons. Yeah.
A trendsetter. Impressado.
What's your word? Impressado. She is an icon.
Tastemaker. She just, she is.
Visionary. She's an actual genius.
No, she's a true genius. Because she's someone too who like is so funny off stage that I'm like, how do you

even have the time to be this brilliant? Wildly.

Yeah. I love her every

second. I know y'all are like your work wife.

Would you describe your relationship

as work wife? Absolutely.

Because I always go with her, who's your bestie at SNL?

And she goes, both. Oh my God.

She's going to go out and be both.

We say Major Lazer, we say

Familia Pizza. We say Tacos Familia Pizza.
You know what I mean?. We say Major Lazer.
We say Familia Pizza.

We say,

like,

Tacos Familia Pizza.

You know what I mean?

Oh, that's cute.

Like, Matt is Familia Pizza.

And then she,

she has a story that made me cry laughing

last week.

And I need to,

we need to bring her

on the pod to tell everybody.

And then we will all

be united in this,

in this story.

Speaking of Familia Pizza,

I was always,

I was thinking about this,

you know,

we all came up together

doing the damn thing.

And then do you think it was, do you think it's just time and space and people getting more jobs that makes everyone go or do you think it was also pandemic being like I think the pandemic had a lot to do with it but also that was happening kind of before that yeah because the scenes it's like everyone has their little graduating class and it's like I know but then it's like pandemic goes so what's happened? Do you know what I think all the time?

And don't point at me, please.

No, no.

You really did point.

That was aggressive.

I'm a pointer.

Police.

Police.

I think that

Police, police, police.

Weird I'll cover.

Police, police, police.

Orress this man.

He pointed at me.

Police, police, police.

I wonder if Sabrina

would like me. I think she would.
She would fucking love. Oh, love Oh god I think she would I want to put her in my pocket Well didn't you You did her TikTok I did her little TikTok dance Yeah did she What do you mean Did she reach out She reposted I said Hey what do you mean I did her TikTok I did her TikTok dance to taste And then I And then I The caption was I hope me doing this dance Will bring world peace And then then she DM replied and she said, all she said was, it will bring world peace.
That's beautiful. So that's my one little interaction with her.
She would adore you. Like she'd love us all.
No, no, no, no, no. My sketch got cut, the finale of SNL when she was the musical guest.
And then it was right before she was about to go on that she runs up to me and Celestia and she goes, what's tea? So she could tell that we were upset. She was like, what's tea? Wow.
She's a girl's girl. She's a girl's girl.
She gets it. I love Celeste too.
Oh my God. What an angel.
Angel of music. Angelique.
Angel of my dreams. What were you saying though before Major Leads? We were talking about like the days.
Oh, the girls. And I was saying, I think that.
Familia Pizza. Sometimes I look back on like the times.
Like, remember when we all used to go to like the duplex when Henry was playing and like downstairs and like you didn't know that those times were gonna not be forever I know It's just weird like it's difficult to wrap your head around the fact that we've already lived like not to use this word but like eras you know what I mean we've already like there have been so many times and you're like and then all of a sudden they're done and you're like, not to use this word, but like eras. You know what I mean? We've already, like there have been so many times and you're like, and then all of a sudden they're done and you're like, oh wow, I didn't even realize I was in this new one.
And I think what I'm encountering right now in Los Angeles is I've been in my current era too long. Not to associate it with an apartment, but I feel like I'm due a new era.
Yeah, because you were kind of like, I'm pandemic, I'm LA. And now you're ready to move on.

Well, because I'm still in the same fucking apartment from pre-pandemic,

which means it has tons of ghosts.

So you got to force yourself out.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Have you ever seen a ghost?

We did a ghost tour in Savannah, Georgia,

where it's big ghosts.

Have you been?

No.

Have you been?

I've not been to...

I've been to Savannah,

but we didn't do the ghost thing.

Okay, the ghost tours are fun.

We were there together.

Were we not performing there?

That was Atlanta.

But did you see one?

which is Have you been? No. Have you been? I've not been to.
I've been to Savannah, but we didn't do the ghost thing. Okay.
The ghost tours are fun there. We were there together.
That was Atlanta. But did you see one? We performed there with Pop Roulette one time, Savannah.
Or was that Charleston? I get those confused. Charleston.
Savannah. It was a night.
And then they tell you, take out your phones and take a photo of those windows over there. And then I swear, I don't have the photo, but I think there was a lady.
Babe. I think there was a lady.
I think there was a lady. I love it.
Oh, they were like, that house is where Flannery O'Connor came to live. And some say her ghost is there.
Where she came to live. Have you ever looked at a piece of- That's a weird way to say that.
I come to live all the time. Oh my God.
Have you ever looked at a piece of toast and seen a face? I don't. Toast is so old.
Excuse you? Who's still having toast? I fucking love it. Are y'all making toast? Yeah.
Now, carb shamer over here. No, no, no.
It's not about the carbs. It's more like it's so 90s breakfast before school.
Like, mommy's making toast. There was something that was made the other day.
Melissa was at Melissa had like a little birthday thing in LA and I was just like I went to her and someone brought out it was either like it was like a piece of potato or it was something and there was a very clearly there was a very clearly the face of an old disapproving woman in it. Very clearly.
To the point where everyone saw it and understood what she was saying. Oh my God.
And a piece of potato. To me, I saw a ghost in that potato.
I've never seen like a paranormal ghost. In fact, I don't really believe.
Oh, don't say. I believe 100%.
I respect them and I'm glad they haven't come to see me and I don't want to see them because I respect them too. Yes, yes.
I think they're real. You think ghosts are real? Of course they're real.
Ghosts are real. Wait, speaking of 90s food though, which you claim is toast, which I actually totally get it.
I totally get it. It's so like orange juice.
It's like before we knew orange juice was bad. No, a pop tart is 90s food.
Toast is forever. I actually think it's opposite.
Pop tarts are forever for my family. Okay, there's this amazing chef on YouTube.
She's part of Cook's Illustrated in America's Test Kitchen, but she has a whole series called Technically, and she talks about how overcooking her vegetables is actually good and chic.

But the reason why the crisp, blanched vegetables are like a thing,

why like vegetables are, shall we say, hard?

Yeah.

Niçoise.

Niçoise.

It's like that was an 80s, 90s thing in response to the way that vegetables were cooked in the 50s and 60s where people were fucking mushing them up. Interesting.
And I think we kind of need to go back to mushy vegetables. I love mushy vegetables.
Do you cook? I cook. What kind of stuff do you make? Bad stuff.
Bad stuff. No, I cook when it's just I cook.
I'm such a good cook when it's just for me. If I have to present it to an audience, I get nervous.
Like I coached for the House in Fire London and was like,, fine. It's like totally mid and I'm like, this is, I get like stage fright.
Performance anxiety. I would love to come cook for you boys.
Let's go. No, I actually love cooking for a group.
Hates a home cooked meal. What does that mean? I don't hate a home cooked meal.
I would just rather go to a restaurant. Oh, that's sad.
And you would too. That's actually breaking my heart.
No, Catherine, that's not how you are. What do you mean that he says you would rather go to a restaurant too.
You would rather go to a restaurant than have a home-cooked meal. It depends on the night.
Okay, so I'll throw this out here. It's Thursday night.
Ready? We'll do this from the top. Monday night.
It depends who's cooking. Yeah.
And where and what the house looks like. I would agree that all of that comes into play.
Yeah. And it depends what the restaurant is.
Because there's a lot of restaurants. And I am angry about this.
Uh-huh. They're too loud.
Too many restaurants. Too loud.
And I'm a singer. I'm a vocalist.
So I need to rest the instrument. And I'm not going to be screaming at dinner.
Yeah. That's so true.
What? I feel like Lucy Liu and Charlie's Angels. Because I think my favorite part of that whole fucking movie whole fucking movie is that her character, for some reason, they decided the thing about her character is she's bad at cooking.
Yeah. But she loves to cook for everybody.
And they're like, I brought muffins. And Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore are like, yum.
Oh, wow. But isn't that such a great little detail? Yeah, that's nice.
It's a great film. I wonder what that is.
I wonder why they felt the need to do that. It's just fun.
I just love that. That's like a character.
Do they all have a little Achilles heel? Yeah. Like Lucy Liu can't cook.
Drew Barrymore is gay. She does read as kind of gay in that movie.
I don't remember the movie. Her name was Dylan.
Dylan. Oh, that's hot.
I had a female Barry's trainer named Dylan the other day and I was like, only a female Barry's trainer or a character played by Drew Barrymore is named Dylan. And that's Real Culture number 99.
Only a female Barry's trainer or a character played by Drew Barrymore is named Dylan. Now, Barry's is a really scary place.
I am addicted to it. That's awesome.
That's awesome sauce. That is awesome, actually.
I should get into, I want my ass to go up, so I got to figure something out. It will do that.
I'm so lonely. I almost said I'm so lonely.

What I meant was.

You have to,

glute bridges are the next frontier.

I'm so lonely.

Sorry, I meant tired.

Kind of similar neighboring feelings.

Yeah.

Tired and lonely?

Tired and lonely.

I like being tired.

I feel like when I'm tired,

I'm actually not lonely.

Because I go,

I'm so happy to just be by myself.

Oh.

Because you're not alone when you're lonely. Or you don't have to be alone.
Whatever. Wait, this is a real pandemic thing, though.
Do you feel way less of an extrovert? Babe. Hello.
Where'd my personality go? I am a husk. I used to be fun.
I used to get coffee. I used to be crazy.
I know I used to be fun By the way Greatest song of all time I used to be so fun I can't do anything I'm so tired I'm happy to hear that everyone Not that I'm happy to hear That you feel that way Or you feel that way But it is something I think we could all say Is it's just like The pandemic Is something We can actually Not even wrap our heads around We won't't ever process what it did to us. The way it fucked us, we will never be able to understand.
One good thing happened and it was folklore came out. Agree.
And you know what else could happen? Evermore. We're alive.
You're so right. Like literally.
Oh my God. I'm so lonely.
I mean, I'm only. I'm sorry.
I'm tired. I'm not hungry.

No, but when you said that you're happy to be home alone by yourself sometimes, I'm like,

hell yeah.

I can't express this.

Before the pandemic, and this is, of course, the most boring thing anyone could say, but I couldn't even spend one night at home alone.

No.

I would call someone and go, come have sex with me.

I'm scared.

Yeah.

I'm scared to have sex with me.

Was that what it was?

Before I had a boyfriend, I go, I'm scared to have someone come fuck me. I'm scared.
Oh my God. Couldn't be alone.
Someone made me Juno for the first time the other night since the song came out. Who made you Juno? You wanted to have their baby? Come to you? Come to you is what you mean? Yeah.
Oh, nice. And you wanted Juno with them? I don't think I wanted Juno with them, but they made me Juno.
No, I don't think so. Okay.
I don't think any of us want children. Let's not decide right now.
I don't think we're kids people. I know, but I froze.
That's good. That's good to have the option.
So I can decide. I was telling Catherine before you got here, she asked me this question off air, and my therapist goes to me after I said a long thing.
She goes, I'm just thinking how you'd be an amazing father. And I literally started breaking down.

I was like, well, the kid would need two fathers.

And I used it as an excuse to spiral about that.

We can all be Shonda Rhimes, though.

What's that?

Just be single, adoptive parents.

That is chic.

Sounds hard.

It sounds very hard.

Nothing's easy.

Do you think?

You're never ready?

Yeah, I think.

I think.

I don't want kids though.

I want a big house.

Yeah.

First.

Then I'll think about kids.

That's like about marriage too.

I'm like, I want like a lot more stuff

before I go ring-a-ling.

Lately, Pat's been shaming me.

Lately, Pat's been like,

you got it.

Pat's been like, it's long enough.

I go.

What's long enough?

Being with Brian five years.

Oh, stop.

Oh, that you have to get married enough kids?

I go.

Well, to get married.

To get married.

That's up to you.

I go, I want to have big house.

Thank you. I go.
I want to have big house. Yes.
I want fancy. Okay, ready? Do this.
I want movies. We've just walked into your dream home.
Take us through it. Oh, my God.
AD, Catherine Cohen. Hey, guys.
Hey, AD. It's Catherine Cohen.
Welcome to my- Okay, well, if we're in New York, because, of course, I'm going to want, you know, New York, London, L.A. Yes.
If we're in New York, we're like, oh, my God, getting off the—maybe the Christopher Street, one, two, three. I don't know.
I don't know. Who said that? I don't know.
Yeah. And we're going to go into one of those—we're going to go right next to, like—here's where we're going to go.
Like, right next to, like, the Cherry Lane Theater. Oh.
And we're going to walk into one of those brownstones. Yeah.
And it's going to be like, wow, this looks so old, but feels so clean. Yep.
But it's so old. It's kind of like dark.
There's candles. It's like, there's like navy blue, like washed walls.
There's like dark velvet couches and big wooden things. It's a little bit like that.
And it's so lived in. And the center of it all is, it's very lived in, very like Victorian.
And then there's a clawfoot tub in the center and I'm sitting there naked and I'm going. In the center.
I'm in the center of the home with a skylight beaming down on me. Tits, but wearing a necklace.
And I'm like, hey boys, come this way. I love it.
I've been cooking. I've been home cooking for you on a Thursday.
You gave me the wink. Now each of you go.
What's yours? Dream house? Yeah, like we're walking into Boeing Yanks AD. Is it so awful if I say that like it's the one you have now? It's the one I have now.
I fucking love my place. I need to come over.
So much. Well, that's so exciting.
You're living the dream. It's pretty beautiful how long did it take to find that place like a few months not that long I worked with this great broker Ronnie Rose shout out Ronnie shout out Ronnie I can't wait till I need you no no y'all have to go to her I can't wait till I need Miss Ronnie he's being like let me enter the broker yeah maybe it's time I just can't decide between New York Yeah, it's so boring.
I feel like you're further along in the New York journey to like have a broker to potentially talk to in New York. And you don't have that quite yet in LA.
I guess my impulse would be if you're going to buy it, you would buy in LA and rent in New York. Yeah.
Because it's a little kooky. That's, I think, the smarter thing.
It's a little kooky out here. Yeah, it's a little kooky out here.
What do I know? I pay so little. I can't even talk about it.
I have a sexy little secret deal. I love a secret deal.
I can't ever leave. Oh, I went to my friend's place in Astoria the other day, and he has a rent control department, and I couldn't believe the number he said for how much space he has.
Sometimes in New York, there are just those little fines, and I always, I thought, lucked out for whatever station I was in life. Like when we were like 28 and I moved into that little place in Greenpoint.
Did you ever come to my tiny box in Greenpoint? I don't think I came to your tiny box. I lived on Box Street.
I lived in a box on Box. Oh, that's cute.
And it was small, but it was $800 a month. That's crazy.
That makes me feel sick. Yeah.
And then I had that and I felt insane giving it up because I'm like, this is crazy. But I always like was able to find that deal and now I'm like, I don't think, not that I would want that but like I don't think things like that exist on this.
I agree. It's been tough out there.
In this new era. I know.
Not to bring up the Aeros tour again. Not to bring up the Eros tour again.

What era are y'all in?

Hmm.

What era are we in?

Like macro or if it's a Taylor era?

I'm at macro

like whatever words.

Okay, let's answer both

because like Matt

inspired me last episode.

I'm in husband

search mode.

Oh, that's exciting.

Era.

I'm ready for you

to have such love.

It's got to stop. Enough with enough with it.
Well, what's it been like just being yanked around? It's just like, I can't do it. Is it the caliber of people or the way they're treating you? It's not, no, everyone's fine.
I'm just like, I need to, it's a me thing. I need to focus up.
I need to like go in with the right, with the proper intention. Like I've been a little too like, yeah, whatever comes my way.
And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I cannot be like casting a wide net.
I need to be specific. You're ready to be partnered.
Yes. This is very exciting.
So I'm in that era. And then Taylor Swift era, I am in, I'm going to say fearless.
Oh, there's something about the way. That's such a beautiful era to be in.
The street looks like it's just red. That was one of my, because I first fell in love, you know, in Texas, country version, playing my guitar.
So damn funny. That's what I remember saying.
Oh, damn funny. See, I thought it was so cool.
I was in high school. I was like, I'm going to say damn.
Drew looks at me. You know what's the crazy truth? Drew looks.
How Drew looks at me. Yeah.
I'm in Tortured Poets it's really grown on me it's really good at the beginning I was obviously like like everyone else what's your favorite track on Tortured Poets oh my god what'd you say I can do it with a broken heart no I did not say any of that why is that yours I'm so lonely that one's grown on me a lot too though I can do it with a broken heart it's major in the video it's major laser I'm gonna say what's major laser for me is oh god oh god wait hold on no it's coming it's uh um um um not down bad not guilty of sin sin. What's the other one?

But Daddy I Love Him is... But Daddy I Love Him.

But Daddy I Love Him is the culture of

everyone shut up.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

I love that culture.

Everyone needs to shut up.

Period.

Unfortunately, the narrative of

But Daddy I Love Him

is ultimately

but everyone shut up

because I know you're right

and then they were right.

So that is the thing about

But Daddy I Love Him.

There's something romantic about it

but ultimately everyone

that was telling her all this stuff

Thank you. everyone shut up because I know you're right.
And then they were right. So that is the thing about, but daddy, I love him.
But there's something romantic about it, but ultimately everyone that was telling her all this stuff was right. But you know what? Taylor does this thing where it, she flips, she flips the narrative, like with like, um, love story.
It's like, it's Romeo and Juliet, but like, it's a happy ending. But daddy, I love him.
It's like, they were right and it didn't end well. But like in the world of this song, she gets to like dictate how it ends.
That's the power of Taylor. Diltiest into me is like- Diltiest into me is so good.
It's so good. But I will tell you what, and also this will lead me into this other thing.
Fortnite has grown on me so much. And Post Malone's new album.
Have you listened to it? No, but do you know, what I've been saying since the first episode of Seek Treatment is that he's my hall pass. He is.
The man can wear the fuck out of a pair of jeans. I'll tell you that.
And he's doing his country era now. And the new album, it's called F1 Trillion.
It's literally just him doing duets with like legends. There is a song with Dolly Parton.
Oh, wow. Where she's so horned up.
She goes, what's one more night gonna hurt? Stop. We need to play it.
We need to play it. Like, honestly honestly like it is literally it's post Malone and Dolly Parton talking about you really transformed in that moment that was so beautiful well one more night gonna hurt that's good cartoon um but literally like this album is so good and his voice is like so velvety country yeah yeah yeah like he's like blowing away all these like legends on this album and he did like beyonce did more of like an americana country thing like through her lens but he did like contemporary country music the last song on the album is called yours it's about telling his daughter's future husband buddy just because she changed I'm like cringing.
Doesn't mean she's yours, but it works. Doesn't mean she's yours.

Yeah. There's a Brad Paisley song.
There's a song he does with Brad Paisley. Brad Paisley's the amazing artist who I believe gave us the song Ticks.
Yeah. I'm gonna check you for ticks.
Oh, there we go. That is the song.
Did you know that Brad Paisley partnered with Dr. Jill Biden during the pandemic? What? And told everybody to get their vaccine.
Oh, good for him. And then he did a cover of Jolene where the lyrics were, vaccine, vaccine, vaccine.
Now that's... And I go, Brad Paisley has climbed Cringe Mountain.
He doesn't give a fuck. No.
And we must admire him. And I'm telling you, that's catchy.
Maxine. We like him.
Tim McGraw's on the album. He's climbed Cringe Mountain.
Him and Faith have climbed Cringe Mountain. Are they still together? Yeah.
It's beautiful. This kiss, this kiss.
I'm loving it. On the gobble.
The track seven. When I'm on a snowboard, everything's getting so off course.
Next time you listen do this kiss do this when the chorus comes in this kiss this kiss unstinkable unstinkable just try making it try making it happen with your body yeah I need to get in touch with my body you're the most in touch with your body of anyone I know, I think. That's so nice.
It can't be so. My ass is flat.
I got to get it up. That's not what that means.
That's not what that means. Those aren't related.
What I meant by that, I jumped A to Z and like, I haven't been, I haven't exercised in so long, but I'm like, how could I possibly be in touch? But you are embodied. As a performer, yes, I'm extremely in tune.
That is her eyes. That's what she said.
Get, get, get. Unstinkable.
Unstinkable. Go in the key.
Cinderella said to us. What's your era? What are your eras? What's your era? My era is let's fucking get it.
Yeah. I'm in my let's fucking get it.
I'm going. I want that.
Because I've been like this. Here's what I've been doing for like three years.
When you're roller skating and you're like pushing out and you're like is that how you roller skate? Yeah that's exactly it. I've been like that and now I'm ready to go Yes.
I'm ready to go up the ramp. I love that.
Now let me tell you this. But my Taylor era.
What Taylor era is that? 1989 it feels like. Could be.
Because I was always,

I was in Reputation for a while which is my favorite era.

Or are you Lover era?

Now.

Coming out of Reputation.

Because Lover ultimately

ended up being

the biggest era.

Cool summer.

Lover is her like

biggest album.

That's shocking.

It's crazy because

it came out and was like

maligned at first.

I loved it.

You know my song is so great

that's not that album

that no one cares about? Which one? False God, Paper Rings. I Think He Knows.
I Think He Knows is so good. Oh, please.
From the beginning, I've been like, this is one of the best songs I've ever heard. That reminds me of, oh my God.
Yeah, exactly five years ago. When I go, I think he knows.
The keys. The keys are.
I only do original key yeah I think I am

not everyone

not everyone's happy about it

because you know

I've had a summer of closure

yes

romantically

closure romantically

with Bri

no no no

I've run into random exes

and now I'm going

it's because I'm being prepared

for my bride

closure

whose name is Brian

Bri bride

Bri bride

so then you are listening

to Mr. P

I would say yes

okay

that's exciting

but I also want a house Oh yes I'm sorry It's house first For some reason But who knows What do I know The lover house Wow Oh my god Lover It's so cute We all kind of match today Right Yeah I need that I need Who made that Magl. They're making my Emmys suits.
Oh, how fabulous is that? And when is that? Like tomorrow? Tomorrow. No, no.
Wait, that really shook me. No, no, no, no.
The Emmys. Yeah.
Never been. I'm open to it.
Hey, I'm totally open to going. I just haven't been yet, but I'm open to going.
You'll be there. I'll be there, manifest.
Destiny. You're not going with the only murderous crew? Yeah, I don't think so.
I don't think so. What was it like being on set? Oh, Electric.
Electric. Who are you there with? All the legends.
Meryl even? Meryl walked by me on set. And I go, Wow.
Michael Ciro Creighton? Angel from Heaven. Angel from Heaven.
that was the best part is hanging out with him on set

and also getting

to talk to Miss Molly Shannon

who I'm obsessed with

oh my god

so getting to talk to them

was the best

but everyone was very nice

it was really fun

love it

seems like a good

healthy happy crew

it's a very

health

like so well organized

so like

calm

on set

like most like

hearty organic

vibes on set

well here's the thing

and this is not

this sounds like

this sounds maybe

not right

to show you the thing.

And this is not, this sounds like, this sounds maybe not right, but it's like if the two people at the top of the call sheet are past a certain age, you're rapping at a reasonable time. Yes.
Because everyone, they just want to go to bed, right? Or you're not because it takes too long, but we've had different experiences. We love LA.

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Shop now for family favorites. This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate.
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FX is dying for sex. All episodes streaming April 4th on Hulu.
I want to hear about the Wicked movie. Yeah? Was it Heaven on Earth? It was pretty much Heaven on Earth, except one day, which I will reveal later, was I had a full-on panic attack.
Are y'all excited? I'm so excited. Is the prem going to be London or here? Prem is going to be Lund.
Chic. Or I think.
Oh, are they? No, the prems are all over the place. Yeah's going to be South Africa Pram.
Oh. Mexico City Pram.
That's sick. LA, New York, London.
Will you get to go to all of them? No. Because I will be working.
You are. It's too bad.
The apartment's not going to buy itself. I can go to World, which is, actually, World is Lund.
World is Lund. World is Lund.
World Pram is Lund. That's major.
That feels really right for some reason reason. And you're gonna wear something so nice.
Yeah, who knows? I don't know yet. Do you think you'll wear pink or green? I will probably wear pink.
I will wear green for one thing. But yeah, I'm like, I'm Glinda's little gay, and so I gotta wear something.
Yeah, team Glinda. I guess my question is, do you think it's stepping on anyone's toes to wear one of their colors? No, not at all.
Unstinkable. Unstinkable.
Say the right, I say the snow white. How did you wear my color? I was actually just watching, like, I think it was, who was it? It was like some Glinda.
Oh, Allie Mousy, who was in Kimberly Akimbo. God, what a great show.

Plays the mom from Kimberly Akimbo who was incredible.

Was she a Glinda?

She was a Glinda.

Wow.

And she was amazing

and I was watching her do Popular

and like I love watching these old

like Broadway versions

because so many of them

find these little things

and she did this thing where she,

you know when Glinda is like,

ball gown.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it doesn't work and she goes,

ball gown. She goes, ball gown.
It doesn't work and she goes ball gown she goes ball gown it doesn't work and she goes ball gown and i was like i had never seen that choice before and i was like love that choice just just make a choice theater is back theater's back thank god i'm exasperated frustrated just make a choice like a fucking toy i don't know at this point no skies guys come on speaking of choices yeah now we're You're making me have to make the choice. I make a fucking choice.
I don't know. Guys.
Guys, come on.

Speaking of choices,

now we're going to have to make the choice.

I don't think so, honey.

I know.

Because it's 2.49. I know.

I have to G.

And we did know this would be one of those episodes

that went L-O-N-G.

And we were right,

but that's good

because it's your time back.

And now speaking of time,

this is a segment that we do

that uses 60 seconds of time

to get something across that's a frustration.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Did you forget? On the way here, I was trying to think of things and it was like...
Yeah. It is what it is.
It is what it is. You're going to come up with something fucking brill.
We got to go. You go, you go.
No, no, no. Because we got a text message saying that Kat's got to go downtown.
Okay. Oh, did we? Okay.
You got to go downtown. What's that? I have an interview.
Oh, fuck yeah. All right.
I'll go. Okay.
This is Matt Rogers. I don't think so, honey.
His time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Everyone in my DMS when I did my end of summer post being like, actually summer ends on September. I'm like, you know what? You've had three months of it.
You've had actually probably more than it. If you're a gay guy, because I know you and I know that your summer probably started in the middle of May.
It definitely started Memorial Day weekend. Summer.
It happened. There are four seasons.
It was June, July, August. That summer, that is a quarter of the year.
You had it. So Labor Day happened.
I'm sorry, girls. Like, I understand that the calendar says, like, summer continues.
30 seconds. It's not really going to continue.
Go outside. Hate to say it, but look at this.
Look at my friend. Look at what she's wearing.
She's wearing a goddamn sweater. goddamn sweater and that's out of necessity it's freezing out there it is the nip in the air the bite in the air I welcome the bite call me sticky stack house bitch bite the neck put a cane on teeth in the side of my neck fall suck me dry five seconds if you can because the summer already fucking has it's over gays getays, get out the DMs.
Labor Day has come. It's gone.
It's fall. And that's one minute.
And you're going to be happy. Just calm down.
It's okay. It's not the end of the world.
The defensiveness of me posting that end of summer. I was like, me to summer 2024.
And it was a video of me diving in the water. Oh, that's cute.
They're like, it's not over. It's still three more weeks of summer.
I'm like, that's cute for you. Remember rule number four.
People are very sick. People are very sick.
Imagine not having had enough of summer 2024. We had plenty.
A lot happened. We're good.
We're cooked. Yeah, we had a good chunk.
All right, Kat's got to go. Let's do this.
So this is Bowen Yang's. I don't think so, honey.
His time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Chimp Crazy. I think this documentary is false advertising.
You think it's going to be fun. You think it's going to be Tiger King vibes.
Same people who did Tiger King. It is so upsetting.
There is actually, there's trigger warnings for flashing strobe lights. Cool, no problem.
No trigger warning for the crazy, bloody, violent things that are depicted in the show, that are documented that show multiple chimps ripping off chunks of flesh from multiple people. 30 seconds.
Usually women. Tough.
This subculture of, they talk about this, the subculture of almost exclusively women raising these chimps like they're babies is so fucked. We need to do something about this.
Tanya Haddix is, must be stopped. she is a liar she pulled a robert durst that was even worse because she she admitted to the thing while the cameras were rolling it was it wasn't like she went to the bathroom and said it on mic this is such an upsetting documentary of course i'm in too deep with it and i have to finish this one more episode but um it's terribly upsetting animal the exotic sick.
Carnies, circus people, I'm sorry, I support you in theory but the vibe, the culture around what you guys do is really upsetting and Missouri changed the laws. Anyway, that's all.
That is, that is a shock. That's horrible.
I mean, honestly, there was, we were on the plane the other day coming back from Toronto and I looked over because Bowen was just just every now and then. He would just make a sound at the iPad.
And I looked over and literally what I saw without seeing any sound. Because I haven't gotten to watch it yet, but I will.
Unfortunately, was really harrowing. So far.
You see blood. This is Netflix? It's HBO.
I'm being like, where can I watch this? Well, they've been on fire with the upsetting docs no yeah what else Quiet On Set Quiet On Set My Favorite Doc Mother God that was the best thing I've ever seen in my life Mother God Mother God these are my tools alcohol and marijuana okay Taco Salad Galactic Taco Salad Wicked BTS Ariana Grande's favorite documentary she can do a Mother God impression she can do the unimpression of the girls who are like, yeah, yeah. So Mother God would like,

what?

Oh, the hotties?

Her hotties?

Her team of hotties?

Yes.

I mean, they're all gorgeous.

Oh.

Dirty, dirty, dirty people.

They were just,

wait, sorry.

At one point,

Sup Podcast described

Kristen Doty's boyfriend

as father multiverse coded.

And I was like crying

tears of laughter.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm scared.

No, don't be. Don't be afraid.
You are, you're a legend. I'm not.
It's the wizard who should be afraid of me. Is this helping you? This is Catherine Cohen's I Don't Think So, Honey.
Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
The style, the way the style is right now, it's not looking good. The style looks very bad.
There's no carpet anymore. Bring back the carpet.
I want carpet. I want warmth.
I want a nice home. I want carpet on the floor.
I want a restaurant where it's not so screaming loud. I want curtains that are lush.
This building. I hate this building.
I walk in. They're screaming at me.
Everything's hard. Everything's cold.
I go to a hotel. There's not a single bathtub in sight.
A shower made of part of a door. There's a shower made of water without a door.
Water without a door. I don't want water without a door.
I want, I need the style to change because the style, everything looks like a ship. Everything looks like an old, everything looks like a new ship.
And that's, I need things that are old. I want coziness.
I want sconces. Give me a sconce, you stupid bitch.
I want art on the walls that isn't like the word Paris. Come on.
15 seconds. The style has to change.
I don't think so. I need the style.
I don't think so. I need the style.
Make it warm. Make it, give it character.
I went to England. The buildings are old.
They are beautiful. Everything here is new, hideous.
I don't think so. I don't think so.
I don't need this. I don't need this.
I need the style that's really changed. I thought, God, you felt modern tonight.
Now you're wanting all fucking old shit. I need the style to change.
Admit it. If you go into a hotel, it's hideous.
Which hotel? Every hotel. Go stay at the Bowery.
I live here. The Bowery is the only hotel that's like doing it.
Everything looks like an old ship. Wait, hold on.
Everything looks like a new ship. Like a new ship.
I meant it should look like an old ship. Everything looks like, no, sorry.
Not an old ship, not a new ship. A cruise ship.
You don't like modern aesthetics. You think no.
I think modern aesthetics, when done right, are unbelievably gorgeous. But so rarely are they done right.
So often they're done out of necessity because of the price point. Not out of like a choice artistically.
Of course. Of course.
Well, the interior designers are listening. Yes.
I just think everywhere I go when I get to the hotel room and I'm like, there's no bathtub. Oh, the tub is huge.
There's no like lush curtains. Everything's like gray and like everything's gray and flat.
You and Bryce should do a staycation at Hotel Chelsea. You'll be so happy.
Oh, yeah. I've been wanting to go.
Carpets everywhere. I love it.
Carpets are tough for me. No, carpets also, they mute the sound so you're having, you can have an intimate conversation when there's carpet.
An intimate time. An intimate time.
I hate that I'm running late. Okay, okay, okay.
I know, we gotta go. I have to go.
Well, the thing is, this was beautiful and brilliant and we are just so happy. See you tomorrow, same time.
See you tomorrow, same time. And we're doing this same time tomorrow.
We love you so much. I can't believe this coming out tomorrow.
It's so funny. Coming out tomorrow.
I'm laughing. I'm laughing.
I'm laughing. See, just know that when we recorded this, it was just yesterday.
So it's not that different than it is now. Although it could be.
It could be. Come For Me is out October 17th.
Please God, watch it. Please God.
Here's what I'll say. It's on a streaming service called Veeps.
Veeps. Yeah.
Check it out. Period.
An announcement coming soon. Only members in the building and now.
And if you haven't seen my first special, it's on Netflix. It's called The Twist.
She's Gorgeous. So watch that as a little, as a palette cleanser.
As a little apperatee. As an apperatee.
That's what I meant. The one before.
Yeah. And then dive into the new October 17th, my new special, Come For Me.
There's a full band. Oh.
Oh my God. And we shot it at the Gramercy Theater.
Oh, I love the Gram. It's sexy.
And I have it's new new custom jumpsuit. It's unbelievable.
Oh my God. Really good.
I'm very proud of it. So it's harder to access the Netflix, but we can do it together.
Yeah, but you know what? Sometimes it's the climb. And I, that actually reminds me of a song and that's the way that we're going to end this episode.
It's the climb. Bye.

Okay, bye, everyone.

Love you.

Lost Culture East is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts.

Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Executive produced by Anna Hosnier and Hansani.

Produced by Becca Ramos.

Edited and mixed by Doug Bame and Monique Laborde.

And our music is by Henry Kaberski. We love LA.
What do you love about Los Angeles? How about the food and drink options? Los Angeles chefs and mixologists draw inspiration from their varied cultural backgrounds and the city's diverse neighborhoods, making for exciting food scene. Did you know Los Angeles has more museums and theaters than New York? From trailblazing street art to world-class museums, art is everywhere in LA.
Wherever you are in the city, you're never far from the next only in LA moment. Don't forget to stop in your tracks and look up.
Soak in our legendary blue sky. What's your favorite day in LA? Find more ways to love Los Angeles at discoverla.com.
Have you ever felt that uneasy anxiety when the 4 p.m. hour strikes? That creeping meal-related distress that happens when you don't quite feel prepared? You know, dinner dread? Let's get rid of that unpleasant feeling forever with one word, stouffers.
No matter what happens, you'll have a dinner plan that everyone loves with stouffers. Some chicken enchiladas or a cheesy chicken and broccoli pasta bake is always welcome,

whether it is plan A or plan D-licious.

Not gonna lie, I eat the lasagna once a week.

And that's a fact.

When the clock strikes dinner, think Stouffer's.

Shop now for family favorites.

It's true that some things change as we get older.

But if you're a woman over 40 and you're dealing with insomnia, brain fog, moodiness, and weight gain, you don't have to accept it as just another part of aging. And with MidiHealth, you can get help and stop pushing through it alone.
The experts at Midi understand that all these symptoms can be connected to the hormonal changes that happen around menopause. And Midi can help you feel more like yourself again.
Many healthcare providers aren't trained to treat or even recognize menopause, and MIDI can help you feel more like yourself again. Many healthcare

providers aren't trained to treat or even recognize menopause symptoms. MIDI clinicians are menopause experts.
They're dedicated to providing safe, effective, FDA-approved solutions for dozens of hormonal symptoms, not just hot flashes. Most importantly, they're covered by insurance.
91% of MIDI patients get relief from

symptoms within just two months. You deserve to feel great.
Book your virtual visit today

at joinmidi.com. That's joinmidi.com.