"Sponge" (w/ Hannah Einbinder)

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Look, Matt. Where? Oh, I see.
Wow. Bowen, look over there.
Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness.
Wow. Las Culturistas.
Ding dong. Las Culturistas calling.
What voice are you picking today post-Vire Island? Well, okay. Let's just.
Here's the peak that comes behind the curtain every now and then. We are fresh from the fight.
Fresh. Hours ago, we got off the ferry in Sayville.
Off of what I would say was a really wonderful trip. Lovely.
Lovely trip. And shorter than we usually do.
Shorter than usual, which is not necessarily a function of the quality of the trip. It's like- Certainly not.
You can have a short trip that's awful or a long trip that's great. But what I love is that we typically go to Fire Island for days on end where we scream and drink alcohol right before we sort of- Record Pakistan ambitiously do the Culture Awards.
And we put ourselves up there and we raise our hands and volunteer to sing. Difficult material.
By the time this episode releases, the Culture Awards will have happened. Our guests will have stormed the stage.
And you will be able to judge in, in posterity. Yeah.
Posterity. Yeah.
Posterity. It's like, well, you know what? This really bothers some people when you say looking back in retrospect, it's like you're, you're sort of double dipping ATM machine, but sometimes you have to keep reminding yourselves in a sentence what you're saying, like looking back in retrospect, I can remember.
It's like, this is all asked and answered, but it doesn't hurt to keep letting the audience know what you mean. That's language.
That's language. Can we rail against people who say that we say like too much? I see what you're doing.
It's not going to work. We see what you're doing.
And it's giving Gen X, non-derogatory, but it is giving Gen X. I think that when Sometimes when you say Like in a sentence It gives the other words Power and context And no one's talking about it Every language Has filler words One language we do speak Is pop culture Now something has hit the headlines And we actually laughed about it For about seven or eight minutes Which is a long time to laugh About one single news item in the car just now.
But it was a really good one.

And that was that Yolanda Saldivar,

the, I guess, you know,

murderer of Selena,

has come out and said

that when she gets released on parole...

If she gets paroled in 2025,

she would love to work with Shakira.

She wants to work with Shakira.

That's like where she sees her next move.

And then someone very funny

quote tweeted, quote posted,

girl, you're not working with anybody

when you're out.

When the parole hit, we're

jumping you.

What's not clicking?

The what's not clicking was really an important part

of it. Are we allowed to jump Yolanda?

I'm not going to jump Yolanda, but I'm

certainly not going to. I'm not going to say to

anyone out there that's going to jump Yolanda upon her freedom. To stay down.
Some people, you know, they get upset. Yolanda did a bad thing, and she is currently serving time for that thing.
And that's a rule of culture. That's rule of culture number 13.
Yolanda did a bad thing, and she is currently serving time for that thing. That's the rule.
That's actually the rule. And Yolanda, I would prefer if Yolanda stay locked up.
Yeah, I don't want to talk about parole when it comes to Yolanda. I don't want to talk about parole when it comes to Yolanda because then I think, then I think about the prison system at large and it depresses me.
It's so depressing. So depressing.
I don't want to think about anything depressing. You know what I mean? Like, I want to live in a world of joy, happiness, and more.
And more. Like Like I constantly am waking up in the morning and I think, how can I make this a wonderful day? That encompasses joy.
That encompasses joy. Joy what and more? Joy laughter and more? Joy, I think, what did I just say? Joy laughter and more.
Our brains are on two. But we're not complaining.
No. Well, wait.
What won the most Bowen Yang Coated Award? Oh. It wasn't Mad TV.
It was Tomato Soap. Tomato Soap.
So I suggested that what should win the award for most Bowen Yang-Coded award was Mad TV. I thought that would be humorous.
Of course. You know, the humorous joke in the show.
And Bowen got a little shy and he said, no, it should be tomato leaves. I don't disagree.
I would have loved to have Mad TV be most Bowen Yang coded. I just think what is most Bowen Yang coded is still tomato.
Is the Louave tomato. It's not just a little Louave anymore.
A lot of the girls are doing tomato scented soaps. Do you think it's because of this podcast? No, no, no.
I think there was, people did their market research and... Here I was, thinking we making.
No, no. Never.
Listen, I do want to say I'm happy that my most Matt Rogers coded it was the expression not for nothing. Not for nothing.
I think that was really good and not for nothing this episode this is long overdue. This, well, it's award winning.
It's award winning. We've just, we've just gotten news that this episode has already won awards.
It's in the front runner for GLAAD Awards. For GLAAD.
Oh my god! We just want to thank all of our LGBTQ plus supporters out there. You know who you are.
And I think we've picked a true representative of the queer community today to be on the podcast. Well, I was going to say earlier that this is someone who encompasses joy, laughter, and more.

Joy, laughter, and more.

I don't think about...

It's the opposite of me

thinking about the prison system.

I think about this person

and I feel expansive.

I feel joyful.

I feel the opposite of depressed.

I don't think of prison at all

when I think of prison.

No.

I feel like, in fact,

my shackles are off.

Yes.

Yeah.

This person...

Say it.

...was out with us into the dawn hours of the SNL finale. And can I say something? Well, of course, it being an arcade, there was, of course, a game where you kill zombies with a real gun.
And the way I saw her use the gun, maybe she should be in prison. Hey.
Lock her up. Let her speak.
Let's bring her in. Hold on.
Before we bring her in. Yeah.
She's the star of Hacks. Have some respect.
Just finished its incredible third season. Yep.
And her special, Everything Must Go, comes out June 13th on HBO. It's a big moment in the life of August.
Can I say right now, Bowen Yang, do it again. Do that again.
Bowen Yang has his arm on my shoulder and it is a grip.

And if you don't know.

Let's go in tight on that.

Go in tight on this.

Look at how intense the grip he has on me.

Bowen Yang has me.

He's choking me out through my shoulder.

Everything must go.

The bony shoulder.

That was a fun joke from I Love That For You. Like where they showed the best part of a woman.
The bony shoulder. That's really funny.
But that show got canceled. But it's coming back for season four is Hacks.
Yes. And we really want to see what happens next because it's a cliffhanger.
Emotional cliffhanger. It's a fun cliffhanger.
Oh, but it gets flipped at the end. The first time I saw our guest, I pointed to her and out loud to myself.
I said star quality. And I've been saying it to this day.
We will continue to say it. We will continue to say.
Everyone, please welcome into your ears, Hannah Einbinder. Are you already bursting out? I'm crying.
Don't cry. Don't cry.
It's a place of joy. Thank you.
Oh my God. No, these are real tears.
What did we we do Why would you ever cry in front of us What do we do I'm sorry this is so cringe No don't cry I really love you guys You know we love you We've loved you all along I'm a reader you guys Oh my god It's too early for this I have to tell you This is true Katie Katie behavior. It is really, I'm so sorry.
We love you. This is iconic.
You guys. Truly a film star.
This is unreal what's happening is you see it. For me, it's like John Paul, Ringo, George, Matt Bowen.
You're so dumb. No, because genuinely.
Man, no. Sobbing.
I won a radio contest to be here. I am a fan.
I feel like it's so embarrassing you haven't been on yet. It's crazy.
That's a big, big, big overstay. Thank you for having me.
We're so embarrassed. Okay, I'm embarrassed.
Did that feel like a release of other things? What's going on? What's going on? No, I'm okay Was that did that feel like a release of other things that like what's going on? What's going on? No, I I genuinely

Like I listened to every episode and I okay

I just appreciate your guys love and I appreciate you guys

Did you see the way he was grasping my shoulder? I did. You felt how hard it was, right? That's where the tears started.
It's happening again. Look, so.
Like genuinely, I appreciate you guys sharing your love with us and also like I have, you know, like maybe you guys have this experience where like you listen to podcasts when you are alone and you're like, I'm not oh god is this a pandemic thing did it happen during the pandemic totally yeah totally that's why i feel this way when i see poverty shallow yeah yeah it can translate to film and television as well i want people to know that it can i mean here's the thing i really like it's like bulls me over that you you say that because legitimately I do remember going to Just for Laughs and I saw, it was not the New Faces set that you did, but it was one in a smaller space. The one with all the skulls.
The one with, yeah, it was bizarre. There are these satellite shows that happen around the big showcase events.
I just remember like you going up there and you were, everyone was amazing, but like you couldn't forget you. And it's like, it is, it's like an intangible that you have.
It was like, well, I of course remember your bit with the mic stand, which I thought was truly brilliant. And I was like, I've never seen this before, but like you really are.
It's just like, I mean, it's so unsurprising to see that you've become this like fucking star and to catch you in this moment is so great. I was so happy that you could come in this week.
And like, it has to be a feeling like a very big moment. Like, you know how it feels when like you're having like that thing.
Like this finale came out, everyone's so emphatic about it. Now the special, you're having a fucking moment, boo.
Thank you. It does feel really good.
It feels really warm. I am new to being able to receive it as well, which is so nice, you know, because it kind of bounces off or it sticks for five or 15 minutes and then it leaves the body, of course.
But now you're feeling like it's keeping a bit. Yeah, it's really nice.
What do you think is the instinct to want to toss that off when someone is like, hey, I see you and what you're doing is fucking great. What do you think it is that makes you want to respond the way where it's like, no, because I do get that.
I mean, I think it's just low self-esteem and the inability. I don't I don't think it's a tossing off so much as it is an inability to grasp it at all.
You know, I think like it's just, you know, you cannot you have to have like that feeling in yourself first. It's so cliche, but it feels like I also think it's like conditioned in comedians who are just so like sharks, like just you're just swimming around.
And then after you've eaten, you're hungry again. And it's like, every set is like, okay, that was good.
And then you're only as good as your last set. And it's like this thing of like, you're constantly having to reevaluate your worth and you're constantly being told externally, whether you're doing a hundred percent.
Like, and sometimes you could get three different things in one night. Yeah.
Hannah, Hannah and Tim Heidecker witnessed me spiraling at the SNL finale. Oh, my God.
Oh, really? You witnessed me spiraling? No, because my fucking update got cut. Oh, yeah.
Which, by the way, and it's like, the costume was so, like, it was so grand. Like, for you to be in that drag and it getting cut, like, that is fucked up.
And then I was in paint cans and then you and Tim came and my brain was like, wait, that's a friend. And then that was my body not receiving this stimulus of like, you should be happy that this is happening now, but you are so upset and sad and furious.
I cannot tell you how much I understood in the moment and now, of course,

like you're in this thing.

I had never seen the show

in that capacity before.

It is crazy.

In like a backstage way.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

That is psychotic.

That's the thing

that people don't get

is like when things get cut,

they get cut

and you're in the costume.

You're in the costume

or the prosthetic

or the whatever.

Yes, yes, yes.

Like, oh my God,

you're just standing there and it's like, okay, now like no time to process like that is fucked up that is fucked up yeah it was an update that got cut during air which I'm telling y'all doesn't happen and the fact that it happened was what was upsetting I'm sorry no no no it's okay we turned to you and you broke down Bowen like he could say this here with you. And I think that is kind of nice about like seeing other comedians in these spots where you'd never really fucking saw yourself.
Like, I don't know if you, and you should answer this question. Did you ever see yourself leading a dramedy? Like that really does, because it's obviously a hilarious show, but like you are doing some stuff on there.
You are pulling big, heavy emotional bags. And you look across the table and guess who it is? It's the legend.
It's JS. And it's JS.
And I think we've all had versions of this where you're like, what the fuck am I doing here? I'm supposed to be at Union Hall for like the 15th time in a week. And I'm paying them to let me go.
Exactly. Like I'm used to, I'm used to.
I'm eating the poutine at Union Hall before I go and fart on stage. Yeah.
Literally. And that was the whole bit was my fart.
Like, and like they're supposed to pay me in two Brooklyn lagers after we perform Sluck. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Like it's, and then all of a sudden you're there with the legend. Did you ever see that for yourself? Was it comedy ever a means to an end to acting for you? Or is this like something that has happened? It is in every possible conceivable way, something that has happened.
I never once even thought about this being my life or path. I had no, I, I, I, I mean, I was in the fucking, I, you know, I just, it was not, so I didn't.
Yeah. I saw you doing the standup.
I was like, I know what she does to stand up. And then all of a sudden you get up there and you're doing the thing with JS.
And I'm going, what did you get? You're taking a risk, Paul, Jen, and Lucia. How did you know I could have done it? But how did they know? I'm like, the audition scenes that I did, yes, there was, there were some that were serious, but like, I never cried or anything like that.
Like, how could they have could they have known it was a big i mean i see it as a big gamble on their part i'm glad they rolled the dice but like i mean yeah i never i never thought that i would do this at all and it has been such a gift because as you know like solo performance is very isolating and you almost don't know how isolating it is until you do it in a group.

And, you know, I am very much I was just, you know, stand up comedian vibes featuring touring road dot com.

And now it's like totally different. And I I love acting.
It has become a deep, deep love of mine.

But I would say, yeah, stand up is definitely my first love.

And it was what I hoped to do. It just, you know, Hacks has totally made being a stand-up comedian in the capacity that I have always wanted single-handedly made it possible.
Like, you know, I would be at the fucking Holiday Inn Express and goddamn wherever the fuck, you know, without. Well, that's a really good one.
That's a good. Goddamn whatever the fuck.
It's really good. They actually, they have good breakfast.
That's really good And the coffee's Well too hot But it's hot Give it some time Give it some time A little cool I think it's very special That Sandy Honig directed this special You're I mean just the best My bestie Your bestie But this is like This is the thing that maybe Takes it out of an isolating experience Which is Yes Bring a friend in Collaboration You have a vision You collaborate on it A hundred percent Like Sandy and I were like, I mean, we've just always been like, dude, you know, I'd be sick. Dude, you know, I'd be sick.
Like back and forth over the years. Like if I ever got to do a special, even when it was like so far off into the future, like we'd be like stoned in the backyard, like arranging sticks and leaves, like what the stage would look like Like legit.
And legit, like, and also like, you know, with the special, we really wanted it to feel filmic and beautiful and create a certain aesthetic and reference various like iconic film performances. And it just was this thing where like we had total creative synergy on this, like in the post process, like every single day, like literally she would be behind me and we'd be looking at the edit and we'd be trying to tell our editor like where we want to cut.
And we'd clap in unison and it would be like I'd turn back because we're just like on the same clock. When it's two people, when two consciousnesses, you form a mind, you create a mind.
Totally. And she's a comedian as well, obviously.

So she and I,

she would open for me on the road sometimes.

And like she's seen my hour

and it's various iterations.

And so she really knew the material

and she has the ability

in the live performance to go now,

you know, all that stuff

because she is so in it with me.

And we just laugh and laugh and laugh

and go what would be the most gorgeous thing.

And then we do that.

It's awesome.

I just feel like she is so limitless in terms of her talent. I mean, like, like I just get so excited about Sandy all the time.
I get excited about, about Sandy on screen. I get excited about what she does with photo.
I get excited about this, like her writing. Like I would imagine that it's not just about her being so talented in terms of knowing what she wants, knowing what you want, but also her being really gifted at being able to hold space for you as someone who I'm gauging is like very emotional.
Like, you know what I mean? Like it matters a lot. I know that they always say like, it always, you always say, don't take yourself so seriously.
Don't take yourself so seriously. And we get to a certain place because we've followed that advice.
And then all of a sudden you're forced to and it's like, I don't know how to do this. So just turning around and looking and seeing someone that you really trust.
That's like, yeah, we're figuring it out together. I'm here.
I'm not going to let you look stupid. If you look stupid, we're both going to look stupid.
So let's fucking go for it and do the thing that we know we can do. It's just, you believe it because that person has never given you like reason to doubt them.
And I'm literally pointing at him because that's who it is for me. A hundred percent.
That's what I was going to say. Like you guys know the specific type of synergy that occurs when you are creating something with someone you really love who really knows you and you do create one mind.
That is really, that is as good as it gets. Like, nothing.
That's as good as it gets. Going to the psychic love.
Did you feel like when you did the special, like you were able to walk away and be like, I did it. I feel like I did it the best I fucking could.
Well, okay. I have a question for you.
Did you do two shows? Did you do one show? I did two right after another. And because it was singing, I felt really scared.
And then once it was done, I was like, okay, thank God we did two right back to back because it was fine. In the edit, how much did you use of like, was it split? We went like song by song.
If I thought I gave a better performance in the one, I just used the whole take of that song. And then there was some creative stuff, but because it's music, it's a little different.
But yes, we used a lot of both. A lot of both.
And sometimes there was a little vanity in it. Like, oh, of course.
No, no, no, no. That's fair.
That's valid. What about you? What was the distribution? So I, and this definitely also speaks to the like, it's good to have someone there who knows you and who can be like holding space.
Yes. I used majority late show because I think just generally like the first show is filled with the people who bought tickets early.
They were there on time. They lined up at 5 p.m.
They are there for the early show. They're like just applause after every, you know, after every joke where I'm going like too much too much like you're excited to see me yeah but was that good yeah like i definitely ended up using more of the late show and i was in a place after the early show and people constantly say this to me and i they have always said this to me and i am happy that this is the case but it is that like you know i'll feel a certain way after a set and people go, are you serious? You look so confident because my like, if you will, persona is like a very heightened version of myself.
It is that confident, like swaggy, whatever. And so like the first performance, like I wanted to kill myself.
The whole time while you were up there. I literally, I know what it's going to be after I say good evening the first performance, like, I wanted to kill myself.
The whole time? While you were up there? I literally, I know what it's gonna be after I say a good evening, the first thing. And it's like, they were warm and they were there, but like, there was the crowd, no shade, thank you for the support, they lacked a sexuality.
You know what I mean? You want a sexuality. I want people to be a little licked up.
I want a couple drinks in. You know what I mean?

I want them loose. And so the first show was giving, you know, there was a platonic energy in the crowd.
Yeah, no problem. That's a beautiful energy too.
Not when you're committing it to film. That's right.
That's right. That's right.
So it did end up being like, you know, first show I was like, like I genuinely was in the back going like maybe maybe stand up isn't meant to be filmed maybe it's all for naught maybe we shouldn't have it was a fool's air and I should stay live I should stay on the road and then the second show I was like I am a god yeah yeah so you're able to exist in both those things I wonder like when you were younger like when you were like first starting out were you someone that was like I can do this because I know I can do it or were you someone that was like I'm being trepidatious and I'm gonna prove it to myself I mean it definitely was like show to show mic performance to performance, like oscillating. But I definitely think that I quickly learned that like, yeah, we go up at the open mic with things that we think are like, I think this is as good as and all my other good shit.
And they just are telling you no. They are telling you no.
No problem. And it's like agree to disagree, but also like audience is king.
Like they actually ultimately. They're never wrong.
They're never wrong. And they decide.
And they decide and I'm glad. Which is so, yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We talk about it.
I love talking about that. Okay, so I have, like, this is an analogy I guess.
It's like, do doctors performing surgery for a crowd, like have them weigh in.

It's like, wait, should I'm, I'm the expert actually.

You know what I mean?

Like sometimes I do feel that in my jadedness where I'm like, yeah, wait, but it's you.

I'm it's, I'm the one.

And it's, I know that isn't the case.

And ultimately like they do win every time.

And thank you to the audience.

But sometimes it's frustrating. This is a thing that I like about working is that the people who run it have always abided by this notion of the audience is always right they know better than we do like it doesn't matter what I let's say Lorne Michaels thinks like is the best piece of comedy.
They are the arbiters in every situation. No exceptions.
And like that is, I think for me, what's getting a lot of like getting in the way of like this generational divide in terms of like what comedy is. It's like it's these comedians who are like, oh, like the audiences have changed and they're not on my side and they're wrong now.
And you're like, no, it's just that they've always been right. They were right back in the day.
They're right now. It's you who's changed.
It's you who's changed or it's you who hasn't. Not changed.
Right, right, right, right. You are the fixed point and maybe that's the problem.
And like, I think this is a good thing for everyone to have personally. Yeah.
Like it's just this, this way of like filling in the container. Yeah.
And you hold like, look as a performer and as someone who gets on stage, like you have this feeling of like, ah, I had faith in this thing. I believed in this thing and this joke, whatever it may be.
But yeah, like at the end of the day, it really, it's just not up to you. And that's like fine.
That's what it is. And ultimately, like you do get that feedback, especially when you tour, like you do get that feedback across the board.
It's really rare that it's like, oh, it didn't work everywhere. And then it worked here.
Like it's very rare. And then if it does, it's like you can't trust that.
You have to trust the failure, actually. And you're also not going to win in litigation against the audience.
No. You know what I mean? It's like afterwards, it is over.
It should live and die there. And there should be something to be learned from that.
But it feels like, A, not only is this conversation that a lot of people are having about older comics from another generation. And, you know, the icons that are constantly railing against this.
It kind of just feels like this is not an interesting topic. And if you haven't discovered that you can't say anything funny about it now, move on.
I was like really happy about what Julia Louis-Dreyfus said. I really like what she said.
I didn't. This quote that she said, it was in response to this idea of like kind of everyone of that male generation being like, you know, the audiences are fucked up.
You know, Seinfeld says what he says, et cetera. And we've all heard ad nauseum from the usual suspects about how woke culture is killing comedy.
But she was like, I feel like it's a huge red flag when we're so fixated on this. And she was like, what's really killing comedy and what's really killing content is the consolidation of wealth and power.
Which is in and of itself a kind of a way to drag them and not for nothing, not like revealing anything here, but she knows wealth. I mean, like Julia Louis-Dreyfus is like, you know what I mean? Like, it's like she understands like- How it all works and how it all moves.
And to be in power in comedy. I mean, she's been one of the brand names of comedy since the 90s.
So to look around and see everyone fixating on this thing and it's not getting funnier or more interesting from that vantage point. It's like this is also a worthwhile opinion here, which is just like maybe we need to look a little bit about how we are uncomfortable with the fact that we can't necessarily swing our dicks as big and as loud anymore.
Maybe that's our issue. And it's like the greatest numbers, like what Dave Chappelle's Netflix deal was like $60 million.
And they offer like our peers, like 200K all told all production costs to pay every single person on the crew, every single fee, every single everything. And you're in the red by the end of it.
It's like, what's that? You guys don't have like, you know what I mean? It's just crazy. Like we're all doing a comedy show on Saturday.
Not that it like compares to like anything that like is out there in the sort of content mass. But like we are putting up a show where we're not necessarily like walking out with a big like payout.
Not at all. That's for like all that is going into the show itself and it's like totally fine for like an older generation of comedians to be like what culture is killing comedy but it's like seinfeld is taking a step further by saying that's why comedies don't get made anymore right um he's like that's why like comedy movies don't open or don't get like theatrical releases.
Like he's like blaming it on that, which I think is like so interesting because there are means to make comedies every day. We are doing that on our little scale.
Like, and it's fun and it's we think it's different than like what's out there. I don't know.
Like not that I'm like. No one knows why anything doesn't work.
No one knows either. It's like, again, it's just like the audience didn't want to see it.
And they're again, they're not wrong. Well, I think often sometimes people in power are inherently risk averse.
And so like our job is inherently, we are prone to risk. And so that is where the incongruency lies.
And it's like, they're just not, they, they need something that is so, so obvious in their minds to to work in their minds to take a chance on it, which is just, I guess, like a product of, you know, the new streaming era and all of the growth that they need to create. And this like ever rising level of monetary gain that needs to be in place.
And it's like just, you Julia's point that is what's happening it's like so shitty like what there's so many like young comics that are like rising up that are like and yet this dominating commentary is like well comedy's dead like comedy's not happening this is what's killed comedy it's like look around like there's there's great comedians and it does feel obviously very sexist and homophobic and racist and it's undertones and all those things, but it's just like, where are the jokes about this? Make it funny. Make it funny.
Dance for us, monkey, like you did in the beginning. Jerry Seinfeld.
Literally. Gave me my first job, Jerry Seinfeld.
Really? Gave me my first job. I was in a sketch on comedians and cars getting coffee.
Oh my God. Are you serious? Which episode? I worked with him and Michael Richards.
It was the Jimmy Fallon episode. And this was back in the day when it was on Crackle.
Crackle. Okay.
And like I came out and like played like a, I don't know, some version of a gay assistant who was like, you know, taking their press juice order and everything. Oh my God.
But it was me, Michael Richards and Jerry Seinfeld. And it was the first time I had seen Michael Richards act or do anything since his meltdown.
Which I have to imagine does inform the way that a lot of people, like seeing people get canceled in like an OG way, like nonwithstanding whether they absolutely deserved it or not. But it's just like, huh, this can happen.
I'm, I have my guard up now and now it's the opportunity for this groundswell of like, how do we like their problem? It's their fault. Right, right, right.
I will say I love comedians in cars getting coffee. It is like, so, oh my God, all of the like, like Jim Carrey and Gary Shanling and like, no, it's great.
All of the fucking incredible, just like a window into like these people in a way that we've never seen them before. You like cars? I do like cars.
I like to drive. You like to drive them? You love driving? You love the open road? I love driving, yeah.
Freedom. Great show for you.
Season two must have felt incredible. Yeah.
Doing all that driving. Oh, yeah, totally.
In the bus. In the bus.
Sticking my head out like a dog. Oh, yeah.
Tongue flapping around the wind. Yeah, that's me.
That's you. Picture that, yeah.
I do picture it. Go ahead.
First shots at the special are Hannah driving. Hannah driving.
What do you listen to in the damn car? Ooh. A lot of classics.
A lot of classics. A lot of classic rock.
America. Bread.
Hanson. You know what I mean? Steely Dan.
You know what I mean? Fucking the Eagles, man. Okay.
I fucking lied with all that shit. Hanson is probably clutching their heart to be mentioned.
To be mentioned in most of those legends. Brad and Steely Dan.
Bread? People really like write off bread. Yeah.
What's with that? What's with that? They're awesome. What makes you so tired? What makes you so tired? It was a bread joke.
Oh my God. That's what you mean.
You gotta come out here and workshop these jokes to find out in the audience. Doesn't lie.
That wasn't good. They didn It was a bread joke.
You gotta come out here and workshop these jokes

to find out the audience doesn't lie.

That wasn't good. They didn't like that bread joke.

It got a response.

Maybe there's an absolute value to that.

If it gets a response, then it means it's something.

Everybody has been there.

Traffic was a nightmare.

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All right.

So we're talking about getting on the open road.

And when I think about you driving and listening to music, I think about you consuming culture,

which leads me to sort of, I guess, the question, the big question of the podcast, which is,

Hannah Einbeiner, what was the culture that made you say culture was for you?

Here we go.

Bring it on. Oh, my is Hannah Einbeiner.
What was the culture that made you say culture was for you? Here we go. Bring it on.
Oh my God. Now I cry.
How dare you. So I saw Bring It On when I was far too young to see it.
It would have been considered, quote unquote, inappropriate. Got it.
Can you give us a number? I would say I was seven. And you know, they're talking BJ.
They're talking F. They're talking, you know, several other leathers.
You know what I mean? Yeah, totally. Gayness in the air.
Gayness in the air. 100%.
Well, that actually, you know, I would say that my liberal Los Angeles Jewish family was actually being like, okay, slay to that. But everything else, the bad words, et cetera.
Yeah. Eliza Dushku.
That's not for my child. Crocked.
Yeah. Crocked.
Crocked. Sorry, that's one of my little, me and Sandy, we actually, Crocked.
C-R-O-C-K-T. Crocked.
Say that, spell that one more time. C-R-O-C-K-T.
Crocked. Crocked.
Well, title that Crocked. Crocked.
I hope that Sandy feels okay with us using it as a title of that. Oh, if I may just, sidebar, I have a couple more words that we've kind of been in the rotation.

So if and you guys can please feel free to use this.

No need to credit me whatsoever. Like I just kind of want this to permeate the culture, if you will.

So this word is sponge.

Sponge would be said when you take something in so completely that it becomes you.

So it's kind of.

That's sponge.

I'm sponge right now. You know what I mean? If somebody says something that feels like it's almost church, you know, gospel.
Totally. Right? Sponge.
I'm absorbing that sponge. I like that.
You know what I mean? I like that. And then another one would be something is so left.
So left. And that's just when something's not right.
When it just... Right.
You know what I mean? It's left. Like it had done been gone left..
Exactly. I would say exactly that.
The discourse is left. It's left.
It's left. The party.
The party's left. It was left.
We, we, we had fun. And then like around like one 45, it got kind of left.
No, like after Hannah shot down the zombies at the arcade. It just went left from there.
It went left. There was no right after that.
Yeah. No No say that.
You really tore it up. Yeah.
That was kind of my first time on the G. Yeah, right.
On the gun. Well, you know, it was, but I kind of got into my Mr.
and Mrs. Smith fantasy a little bit.
Were you picturing yourself? Yeah. I was like, I was Angelina in that moment.
There you go. It was kind of that.
I do want a Hannah Einbinder movie in which, not to glorify this, but in which she holds a gun. I'm ready to do that.
I'll be honest with you. I'm ready to do action because- You should.
As aforementioned, and I will circle back, I was a competitive cheerleader for years, and so I am agile. So let's go back to bringing it on.
Okay. So you saw it at seven.
Title of that. So I saw bring it on at like seven or eight.
And I said, this is my life now. So I from the first year from I'm sexy.
I'm cute. I'm popular to boot.
Like from that first fucking thing. I vivid.
I roar. Wait, I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot.
I'm bitchin', great hair, the boys all love to stare. I'm wanted, I'm hot, I'm everything you're not.
I smile, I'm cool, I dominate this school. Who am I? Just guess, guys wanna touch my chest.
I'm rockin', I smile, and many think I'm wild. I smile, I jump, you can live, but don't you help't you help I'm major, I roar, I swear I'm not a whore

We cheer and we lead, we act like we're on speed

Hate us cause we're beautiful, but we don't like you either

We're cheerleaders, we are cheerleaders, we're all called, call me Big Red I'm W-W-W-W-W-C

C-C-C-Courtney

I'm Big Bang Carver Yeah, just call me Disney

I'm still Big Red

I sizzle, I scorch

But now I pass the torch

The ballots are in

And one girl has to win. She's quirky, she's fun, and now she's number one.
T-T-Taurus, you're Captain Torrance! I'm strong and loud. I'm gonna make you proud of T-T-Taurus.
You're Captain Torrance. Beep, beep, beep.
We are the Toros, the mighty, mighty Toros. We're so terrific, it must be Toros! Wow, that lived right in the bones.
So anyway, so I saw that and obviously I was radicalized. Yeah, 100%.
How could you not? You know what I mean? Did you just see us all chant that? It is an iconic opening to a movie.

It's iconic.

That they should teach in schools.

Yeah, 100%.

Film schools, namely.

Yeah, that's one million.

And I would have liked to see that in film school.

Yes.

But, you know, they got a show.

I don't know how to make a film.

I got to watch The Bicycle Thief or whatever the fuck.

You know how many times I watched Beautiful Laundrette?

No, exactly.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Anyway.

But that film, you're seeing it in the theaters. You can remember seeing it in the theaters.
I saw that. I got it.
I saw it at home. I believe it was VHS and or possibly a DVD.
Yes. And I saw that and I said, I have to do this.
And so that summer I was enrolled in a cheer camp. Not being comedy or acting.
Actually cheerleading. Actually cheerleading.
Which is how you know it really worked. It really worked.
It is culture that made me say life was for me. Yeah.
Okay. I said, I'm going to keep living, actually.
Now, I was like. Is it all the cheerleading or is any part of it the tickle, which is what I call it when you start to feel a little bit LGBTQ plus? Well, of course, Missy.
You had a little bit of the tick one. I transferred from Los Angeles, your school has no gymnastics team.

This is the last resort.

I mean, and by the way, it's like, and then like, y'all remember Stick It?

I never saw Stick It, but I-

I suggest.

Yeah.

I suggest seeing it.

It's really, really awesome.

And also very LGBT.

Of course.

Specifically L, if you will.

Very L.

And I would.

Largely L.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

So yeah, it definitely was, of course. I mean, and then like, but I'm a cheerleader, obviously.
That's like, okay, well, and I saw that when I was already out, but you know, so, so yeah, I, I enrolled in cheer camp and then I joined a competitive team that was a co-ed team in Marina Del Rey. And what age is this now? This is now kind of blurry on my past generally, but this is probably nine because I've been like from like seven I was like in cheer camp and then like nine to maybe eleven I was on this one team in Marina Del Rey and then I switched to an all girls gym in Pasadena and we competed all over the country and it was like competitive cheer were in.
Yes. Yes.
Like you were the Rancho Carne Toros. Even more so, I would say.
Like even more. More Toros than Toros.
Yeah. Which, you know, is hard to do, especially in LA, in the LA area.
It's more of like a middle of the country south type thing. You and Sudi Green need to really connect on this because she has done a lot of research on like youth cheer.
Yes. Cheerleading.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

That is.

It's a wild world.

Wild world.

And I will say that I credit a lot of my determination for perfection and hard work to cheerleading because, you know.

Nothing else was acceptable.

No.

People get hurt.

Genuinely.

It's like, do you want to fly?

Then you better, you better soar for perfection, darling.

Oh, wow.

Because I'll knock you back down to back spot in a second. A hundred 100%.
You want to stay on the ground? Then hit the goddamn heel stretch. I am very afraid.
No, 100%. I'm giving you one tenth right now.
I'm giving you one tenth. I believe that you're only giving me one tenth.
I've seen what it looks like. Darkness within.
I've seen when you're on ten. And you are looking at me in my eyes and I am not stepping out of line.
You know what I mean? You better soar. So did you ever like sort of, because you do have this power, did you rise to the levels of leadership? I was captain of the varsity cheerleader team.
Oh my God. So this is high school.
So then of course I went to my high school career, which was actually quite tragic because I came from this intense world and this was such a huge part of my identity. And then in high school, you know, these girls, you know, there were a couple of girls.
I want to shout out Kayla Countryman and Heidi Uzelak. Kayla Countryman and Heidi Uzelak.
And Heidi Uzelak. They came from competitive cheerleading.
Kayla came from competitive cheer in central California. Heidi from Georgia.
And so these girls, they were coming into JV try outstanding tux. You know what I mean?

Like they were,

they were ready to go.

They got you.

You know what I mean?

They were ready to go.

And the rest of the girls,

you know,

I shouldn't speak.

I shouldn't speak out of turn.

I'm sure they have,

you know,

look,

it just,

we were on different pages.

We were just on different pages.

No,

and that's, that's nobody's fault.

That's nobody's fault.

It's just how,

it's what the configuration was.

Exactly.

You,

Kayla and Heidi were coming from.

Yeah.

A particular, let's say stock.

That's right.

Of cheer.

That's right.

We were striving for perfection and the other girls were, you know, they were, they were

on the team.

Sure.

They were on the team.

Sure.

So then when you get to the end of high school, is there a moment of Torrance where you're

like, what is my life now?

100%.

Wow.

So I was used to like very intense conditioning, springboard, like professional cheerleading equipment, all of these things. And I was kind of, you know, I, I went from tumbling on like a gymnastics floor to grass and track.
So at football games, we'd be on the track and I'd be doing like, you know, seven back handsprings in a row or something. And it would be like this thing of like, I'm kind of, it's hard on, on the body.
And, and over time I gradually lost skill and I will never forget the last time I threw a round off back handspring tuck. And then I got swooped.
I got scared. And it was like, it was like, this is the last.
Oh, you felt it leave. I did a round off back handspring and I sprung up to do the tuck and I couldn't, like I genuinely, I genuinely could not do the back tuck.
And it was just like, I walked away. Like I, it was just gone.
I was, I was, yeah, it left me. And do you think in confronting that moment that that was an emotional slash mental block? Or do you believe that it was physical in your body? It was just like, we have exceeded the time where this is like a safe thing for us to do? It was emotional and mental.
Wow. I had poured so much time and effort into the team, into trying to get gym space for the girls to try to up their skill, to try to work on, okay, how about everybody goes for a back handspring and we try to make that the goal and the whole team can do a standing back handspring.
And, you know, the amount of effort and time and concern I poured into the high school team was, you know, it was a lot. You could call it unhealthy.
I was very, very serious about it. Like very serious.
I identify with that deeply. But I know y'all were high school students.
You know what I mean? It's like this is you don't know what how big the vessel is for you to pour all your yourself into. Yeah.
And you sound like you were a great, great captain. Thank you.
Fantastic. But well, probably because it was, because if you weren't, then what? You know what I mean? I just remember like, I was captain of my track team and I also got to like a place where I remember it just, it became my identity in a way where it was like, okay, so then at the end of it, when you do ultimately decide to walk away, the breakdown you have, like, did you have like a breakdown? Because I remember calling my father and telling him I had done a week of the track team at NYU.
And then I was like, it became so clear that I was meant to pursue other things and actually try to become myself and stop. And track was amazing, but like, it was a crutch for me to go through high school, being good at that and having purpose and having authority.
No one could like check you or fuck with you because you were an effective part of something that was like accepted in the school as being a worthwhile social and physical thing. He's on the diversity team, et cetera.
And when I had to call my father and tell him that I was leaving the team, I didn't even know I was going to get that upset because it's not just you quitting that. It's you quitting this thing that's been definitive.
Yes. That thing that's defined you, the thing that's been most associated with you and being productive and successful.
Was your dad like sports dad at the games, like super cheerleader vibes? My dad was pretty much, if he didn't start as the coach of everything I did, he finished as the coach of everything I did. Like he, I remember he was very unhappy with like the coaching I was getting in track and field season wise.
Cross country wasn't good enough. Winter trap wasn't good enough.
Spring trap wasn't good enough. So he ended up learning how to coach it and then was pretty much the best track coach I had ever had.
Wow. Yeah.
Okay. So it was a loss for both of you.
I mean, I don't think so because he was like, I don't care. I just want you to be happy and do something.
He was like, go right for the school paper or whatever. Whatever's going to like motivate you.
But I didn't get that because like you're saying, it's like it has to be this thing that's like, I don't know what I even am yes so that's why it's frustrating is because like I don't know who I am and us all being I think closeted queer at the time probably that is extra scary because you're like no it means something like I have to have an identity if I don't have an identity especially like when you're going to college and we went to New York for college where everyone knows who they are and everyone knows where they're going and everyone's busy and everyone's plugged in. And suddenly you're like, whoa, I'm not that.
And I'm used to being that. Yes.
It is a huge identity crisis. And it's like you see, did y'all watch the Kelsey, that documentary Kelsey, the Jason Kelsey doc? No.
Oh, no, not yet. We love Mr.
Jason. It was so cool.
It was like this, it felt like it will resonate because it like explored this thing where like an athlete has to walk away from their sport and like because your body just, whatever the reason, in my case as well, I was also graduating and the college that I went to didn't have, like their cheer team was dancers with pom-poms. It wasn't actually cheer.
Yeah, yeah. And like for whatever reason, like walking away, it is a huge identity crisis and it's so devastating.
And frankly, not to get dark, but you look at some of those episodes of intervention, a lot of them were like, I was an athlete and then my knee got whatever. And then I blah, blah, blah.
Like it is really like truly having your identity be like roped into athleticism or any career that has like an expiration date on like it's connected to your body in any way. Like it's really fucked up.
It's really dark. You become Tashi Duncan.
No. You become Tashi.
That's why she won most dominant predator at the culture awards. Because she had to, that athletic energy had to go somewhere.
It's legit. It is so dark and real.
That movie was so much better than we even have said. I thank my lucky stars I found comedy because that.
Yes. When did this come in? This came in in college.
I just was kind of loitering. And I started talking to a kid who, you know, was working on like I went to film film school.
I went to Chavie University, I went to Dodge College and I just was talking to this kid. I was a PA-ing on a film set and he was like, you're funny, you should try out for the improv team.
And so I did try out for the improv team and I did do that and I was really not good at it. But I, I then, uh, Las Culturistas fave, Nicole Byer came to my college, came to Chapman, and she asked if anyone from the improv team wanted to open for her.
And I volunteered, and that was the first time I did stand-up. I know.
And that changed my life. What was the moment of bravery that allowed you to volunteer? Well, I loved stand-up so much, and I also felt so bad about how bad at improv I was because I really was so in my head in a way that you cannot be to do that well.
And you being someone who's a perfectionist, she's like, you're like, I will be good at something. I will not fail.
Yeah. Yeah.
And just being like, I love stand up so much. I listen to albums all the time.
Like maybe I could do that. Maybe I could try that the way I tried improv.
And so I wrote like eight minutes and just open for her. And it was like, literally, I never went back.
Yeah. Changed everything.
She made, she made it possible for me. Have you, you've talked about this before? I have told her since I ran into her.
I was like, thank you. And she's really, she was really sweet about it.
You know what's so funny? Like, not funny. It's just like, I love that that can then be something that you were able to tell her.
I remember like years ago, you know, you remember Michelle Bouteau performed our welcome week. And I just remember feeling so wrecked because like I had to quit that team.
And like comedy was something I knew I could go to because everyone's going to, we were all going to laugh. And at least that would be a release.
And it being her, like who's someone who I thought was genuinely so funny and like we were all having a cathartic moment and then to know her later and see her get the success that she's had. Obviously, Nicole is also huge.
Yeah. But to have the outlet for that, to be like, you really fucking made a difference.
Like that's like, it's major. Yeah, it it's so major and it's like the most i mean especially to like watch nicole this also sets an example for you like to continue to kind of pay it forward and be like how can i reach back and like figure out how to like facilitate that for other people yeah the most incredible gift and honor to be able to do it as well truly Truly.
My God. Love this shit.
I love this shit. This shit is good as hell.
I recently... Crocked.
Crocked. It's crocked.
This is all... I'm sponge the entire time with you as you talk about this.
Oh my God. Same, by the way.
Am I using that right? I'm sponge. I'm sponge.
You can't. You don't have to say I am sponge.
You can just say sponge. Sponge.
Sponge to all of them. But you can say, like, genuinely, like, it's like, we made it up.
You know what I'm saying? But I feel I am sponge. Throw it in.
The grammar is very Sandy and Hannah. And I know I want to honor that.
It is. Crocked.
Crocked. Period.
You were very crocked when you said that. But speaking of sponge, like, the bringing on of it all, like, that, especially formatively at a time when're seeing like, again, kids, they're played by adults.
But like you see that world of high school. I remember being so blown away, A, that high schools could have hallways that were outside.
I was convinced that California must be the promised land. I was like, what is going on here? And all those L.A.
high schools were all outside hallways. Like the cuckoo one.
She's all that. Which by the way, watch that again.
None of those movies hold up. Easy A in school.
Like all of them. But that was wild to watch them inhabit the space and how hot they all were, et cetera.
I will also point out, it opened a door to that type of comedy for me. Yeah.
And maybe for you too, where it was like, well, Kirsten Dunst was huge. Yeah.
And then playing on stars all the time was bringing on. And then also there was Drop Dead Gorgeous.
And I think that was also the, that opened the door to like character acting for me. I was like, wait, she's in this and she's in this and it's different.
And I know her from Jumanji. Let me find out everything I need to know.
Like, do you get like, whenever you see an actor from that movie, whether they're doing a lot or doing a little, you must like completely. Oh my God.
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Oh my God. I was watching, like I was in a hotel room.
I had a random channel on you guys. I literally saw Missy acting in a courtroom drama like a couple weeks ago.
Eliza Dushko out there. Yeah.
Like I and I had not seen her since. And I was like, hell, motherfucking.
Yeah, she's killing it. She's serious.
She's acting. She's gorgeous.
She's still incredibly gorgeous. And she I just was like, I could not believe it had been so long for me personally.
It's a oversight on my part. Oh my God, where? Tribeca Film Festival.
And it was such a moment. She was so cool.
She's so iconic. To have an impact the way she did is like you can never even imagine.
You can never even imagine. She ended up watching Calling.
That type of impact doesn't even, I don't know. Does it exist today? I don't know.
I think it probably, you know who I see, again, but there's something happening with Chapel Rhone. 100%.
We called it a while back and that's not to take credit like, oh, we saw it first. But it's just like, what has happened in the past couple months?

And I noticed it from, I've seen her live a few times now, like, over the months.

It gets more and more intense.

People are very emotional about it.

And you get the sense that she really speaks to people.

I think maybe if it doesn't happen in film and TV now, it does happen.

In music.

It happens in music all the time.

Yeah.

All the time.

That's a good point.

Yep. I saw one of her concerts in LA right before

she blew up. I think I saw you there.

It was at the Fonda, wasn't it? Yes. Yes.

I did see you there. Yes.
At the Fonda.

Yes. It was incredible.

And it was just like, you could

tell by the energy in the room.

I saw the diehard fans. Everybody

was kind of dressed up. And then I would look at these

executives like a bunch of people had gone to see her. I think it was the last job on her tour.
And I just was like, oh, something's happening tonight. Something's happening tonight.
She's about to go up and off. Up and off.
Up and off. I went to both of her Brooklyn Steel nights.
I went to go see her two nights in a row. First night was the only time I skipped a Tuesday writing night.
I didn't skip. I just took a break.
Because talent people at SNL were like, we're going to see Chapel. Do you want to come with? I was like, I got to write, but yeah.
I did want to be there to talk to them about what would booking her be like. She should do the premiere.
This is, oh my God, absolutely. This was not like me pressing my thumb on the scale being like, you should be, I was just me being like, oh, I want to see you guys experience her.
Yeah, totally. So I went with them and during casual, I think, this person on the talent team turns to me and Grace Shaker, love ya.
She turns to me, she goes, she's special. She is.
I was like, yeah, totally. Casual is a very special moment in history.
It's a moment in cultural history. When everyone is actually living that.
Like, and I feel like everyone's singing it as if they've gone through the same thing. I don't know that I've ever been in a relationship like that, but I am so fucking angry at the fictional person that put me through casual.
I am angry. You can go to hell.
Oh my God. Catharsis.
Catharsis. That she is doing cathartic pop.
Yeah. My kink is karma is cathartic fucking pop.
And Justin Tranter, I'm pointing at you. Legend.
Legend. But like such big feelings in the music and that good luck babe bridge.
Oh my God. I told you so.
They don't sing like that. They don't sing like that.
But then on Good Luck Babe it's like that's her giving the most K-bush she's ever given. And then you were saying you saw her live and she really did hit that note at Coachella, right? Oh, the vocals are not alive.
I mean I left that first concert being like this is when I saw the Fonda, the show we were at. And tell me if this makes sense.
But at the time I said, it's giving Annie Lennox meets Kesha. Wow.
That's the only way I can really describe it. Like this like soulful pop sound, like ethereal, but big voice.
And this idiotic sort of like ridiculous, like refusal to take herself seriously in a way that I loved so much because I

think it reminded me of like being at the beginning when like talk about Union

Hall,

like I will always,

I will always cherish those days and I still love going,

but it's like,

those were good days when like you could fuck up and fail and it didn't really matter. Yeah.
If you guys are around, we're doing, Sandy and Peter are doing Pig at Union Hall. They're doing legendary show Sandy and Peter Smith.
Wow. That is a blast.
We're just going to be vibing. This is this week? Yeah.
On the 13th. Gorgeous.
But yeah, I feel you. I feel like the LA version of Union Hall is very much the Virgil like the hot tub the hot tub of it all yeah I used to do the picture this sure like it's funny like some of the bookers from that time are still booking shows and they'll email now and I kind of say like I don't really do that anymore but they're like hey and we know you don't really perform live anymore.
But and just seeing that sentence, like break my heart a little bit. Like, and I think that true, though.
Well, you know, I was that kind of person that was I don't think of it. I think it was like really free.
And then during the beginning years of the podcast, I was out there all the time. We did more character stuff.
Like we were out there character-driven stuff and we did a lot of sketch and we took our sketch comedy very seriously. But then it translated into more individual performance.
But by that time, it kind of didn't really get the chance to develop because other things started happening. And now to know that I perform live for my Christmas shows and try to push everyone to theirs so they can do well.
But, you know, you miss that.

You know what I mean?

You miss being able to go out there and like just it.

You feel easier about it, you know, and are you still out there a lot?

I am.

Yeah.

I let the success and other things like stop that for me.

And I envy that about you.

You still have the raw passion for it and you're able to get out of your way.

And you're like, I'm going up there.

Well, I mean, do you feel like that comes from a place of like,

I don't feel the freedom to try new stuff.

Thank you. You still have the raw passion for it and you're able to get out of your way and you're like, I'm going up there.
Well, I mean, do you feel like that comes from a place of like, I don't feel the freedom to try new stuff. I don't, I feel like I have to come with a finished product because I'm going to be like evaluated.
Is that a part of it? I think I'm the same way as you. Yeah.
And I'm a perfectionist and I have always been way harder on myself than everyone else. And I know, you know what I'm talking about.
And I feel like most of the time I'll be like, well, I'm not prepared to do that. And then I'll go up and do it.
And I'll understand that I was prepared the whole time and I shouldn't stop myself. So that's just probably a reminder.
We should always just tell ourselves. It's like you can do it.
You are prepared. You've worked really hard.
The way that I have tried to like foster a space where I can do this is by billing it as a new material show. Yeah.
And being like, oh, great. This is loose.
This is open mic vibes. Like come if you want.
That's a really elegant way of setting expectations. You know what I mean? Just like it's a new material show and just being like that's the vibe or like literally if you even need to.
And I mean, I do this sometimes and it is kind of a cop out. But like I do sometimes go like, OK, like I earned your trust with those.
Can I do a new thing right now? Yeah. It's like, you know, it's like it gives you a little more grace to like try it and then, you know, whatever.
So but but yeah, I mean, but I just don't want to. I honestly, you guys, Guy Branham, he's a writer on Hacks.
And he was one of my first days on set was a scene with him where he was like the head of the Little Debbie's like Deborah fan club outside the pizza shop in season one. And he said something to me that I never forgot.
And at the time it was so like I couldn't imagine how it could ever become true. And then I saw like, oh, yeah, I could see how this would become true.
But he said, because, you know, he's a comic, too. And he was like, I've seen you like I appreciate your comedy.
I really think you're great. And I don't want you to stop like you are now acting.
And that is a like, you know, that is far more glamorous than stand up. And I he just was like, don't stop because you're good.
And it'll be really easy to like, you know, this is a better life. Like going on the road is fucked up and it's hard no matter what.
And it's very isolating. And, you know, you can be lonely, but like, just don't like walk away.
And he said that to me the first day. And I at the time, I was like, I love stand up.
How could that ever be true? And then I started to see like, yeah, like it is fucking really brutal and it's really a hard life. And it's one, you know, if you can tour and be a headlining comic, that is an immense privilege.
But you know, on a personal level, when you're sitting there looking up at the ceiling in the hotel room alone and you're like in a town and it's raining and you're just like kind of on your own, it's fucking, you know, kind of sad. But every time I feel that way, I just remember what Guy said because like he is someone I look up to so much as well.
And I'm like, if he's telling me that, I needed to hear it. It's a beautiful message.
And I just I don't want to let go of stand up because it's the only thing that like I really can do on my own and control. Like it really is like this beautiful, bountiful well of opportunity for me.
And it always has been. And like, I do have this like thing of like the comedy gods, like the comedy gods, like if you appease them and make the sacrifice and do get on the stage, you know, you, they will smile upon you.
And like, I have this like thing that I've always kind of had with that. And I feel like still, I have to like pray at the altar of the comedy gods and, you know, like continue to do that because it's given me everything that I have, you know, it's made it all possible.
So I, I think that is probably a big reason why I have maintained like this love for it and doing this hour. I was very uninspired for like a year before I did the hour because I just was was like, I'm ready to put this out, but I still need to do it on the road and workshop it and get it in final shape.
But I didn't feel like I was writing as much new material. And the second we locked it, like I just felt like new again.
Like I felt like new possibility. I feel like the end of that project made it so that I could do 15 minutes on driving.
You know, I could talk about that. I could really open up and I could say like, what is the deal with stuff again? You know what I mean? And that is really powerful.
So this is so, this is such an important sponge moment. This sponge all the way sponge, especially to internalizing a Guy Branum piece of wisdom is never a bad idea.
100. Sponge ass.
We gotta have him back on the pod. He's so fat.
Everybody has been there. Traffic was a nightmare.
You got home late and your dinner plans are out the window when you hear the inevitable tiny voice saying, I'm hungry. That's when dinner dread sets in.
What are you going to make tonight? How can such a simple question be so hard to answer? Well, it doesn't have to be. Because a delicious, family-pleasing meal from Stouffer's is only a ding away.
So, if your dinner plans are derailed, don't worry. Just turn to a delicious solution from Stouffer's, a meal that will always leave everyone happy, especially you.
Especially me with the lasagna. Maybe some chicken enchiladas.
Spaghetti with meat sauce is always a winner. Or how about some cheesy chicken and broccoli pasta bake? Yes, please.
When the clock strikes dinner, thanks Stouffer's. Shop now for family favorites.
This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate. Inspired by a true story, this series follows Molly, who after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband and explore the full breadth of her sexual desires.
She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend, Nikki, who stays by her side through it all. FX is Dying for Sex, all episodes streaming April 4th on Hulu.
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Code CULTURISTAS. Hey readers, it is so thrilling to tell you about a new podcast from the iconic, the incomparable Michelle Obama and her big brother Craig called IMO.
You know, on Lost CULTURISTAS, we dive deep into the culture and get real with our guests. Likewise, on IMO, Michelle, Craig, and their guests tackle questions from listeners just like you, offering practical advice, personal storytelling, and plenty of laughs.
From dating and relationships to family and faith, Michelle and Craig give their candid perspectives to the everyday questions shaping our lives and the world around us. Like their first episode where Issa Rae laments friendships that need to go.
You'll hear Michelle and Craig's stories about being there for each other throughout their lives, from first crushes and fraught college years to landing at the White House to losing their mom. For six decades, they've been each other's most trusted counsel, and now they want to be that counsel for you.
So if you want to know about the culture that made Michelle and Craig say culture is for them, check out IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson wherever you get your podcasts. Catch the new Hulu original comedy Mid-Century Modern from the creators of Will & Grace, executive producer Ryan Murphy, and director James Burroughs.
When three best friends move in together, Palm Springs will never be the same. Bunny, Jerry, and Arthur are already close friends, but when they decide to live together, it's a new chapter

with a new family. And speaking of family,

don't forget Bunny's mom, Sybil,

who's along for the ride. Whether it's a trip to

Fire Island or a local congresswoman with

a wild side, these roomies know how to do

it with style. They're fun, they're fabulous,

and they're turning life's lemons into spiked

lemonade. So shake up a batch of cocktails,

relax by the pool, and get ready for some serious

shade. A new comedy with heart, soul, and get ready for some serious shade.

A new comedy with heart, soul, and sass, Mid-Century Modern stars Nathan Laid, Matt Bomer, Nathan Lee Graham, and Linda Lavin. All episodes of Mid-Century Modern are now streaming on Hulu.
You do get the sense that, like, the answer to all this is to just keep creating. Yeah.
And I am sitting here and I'm like thinking about how,

and I'm like, I do miss like, not how stupid I used to be, but how brave I used to be. You know what I mean? Like there's stuff that like, I'm a little, yeah.
You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? I totally know what you mean. And I'm about to say something that's going to sound so terrible I feel like I feel like I was braver before this podcast before SNL you know well I think like anytime there's eyes on you it's harder I remember there came a moment where like I like went back on Twitter or something was like popping off on Twitter on Twitter, just like tweeting.
Like I used to tweet and the, the amount of like weird, bad faith and like the weird takes on it. It's just like, Oh, this is why I got nervous.
And this is why I'm less brave now is because like people aren't as forgiving with like stupidity. It's harder to get things across.
And also maybe people forgot people that follow me forgot that I am this kind of brand of idiot you know what i mean but like like you're talking about like in the beginning like we would go on stage in any old wig and do any old monologue and like let it rip and like sometimes it would be sometimes it would be good sometimes it would be bad but we always felt like we were creating after and that was never the thing now it feels like it feels like creating means like, did we sell a show? Did we get, did we book this thing? And that's like, that's not creating. That's not being an artist.
And also like, you know, sometimes with this podcast, it can feel like we talk about art so much that that's like, you know, why the culture awards is fun or why this is fun or that's fun. Cause like that's closer to who we are than like now on track six of Eternal Sunshine I thought what she was getting at was really interesting and we because we know stuff like and it's just like where are the where are the fools where are the clowns where are the idiots they're here they're within they're locked up they are you they are you but I will say the culture of words, like that is, okay, first of all, I was there last year, I believe, and that was Woodstock, okay? That was literally, I was like, oh, time machine, copy that.
I'm in a time machine. I'm now in the past.
This is Woodstock. I'm literally it's a summer of love.
Copy that. No, legitimately, I was so, like, I have never seen a better crowd in my life before or since.
Okay. That was insane.
That was insane. And you guys are like writing that show in isolation.
Like there is something to be said for that as a skill that you get to because you threw on the wig. Because you took a risk.
Because you went down that path. Every wig was a stepping stone.
Was a cobblestone. That's right.
and that that for real like that is real and that is an incredible skill to be able to pull off something that is so airtight with just within like isolation and you're not like bouncing it off a crowd like that is a beautiful thing and that is so that is a true deep connection that y'all still have like even if you're like okay maybe i'm not, you know, like I see that as something that is so pure still. It's just attached to you're always harder on yourself.
Of course. That's what it is.
Like every single week, you know what I mean? Like you have to, you probably have had to get a little bit better about it. About what? About like the amount of self-immolation.
Totally. Because it's just like, you can't happen week after week.
No, no, no.

And like,

I would say I identify,

I formerly identified as a perfectionist

and have now loosened

that identity sense.

Where do you feel like

you have landed?

I am going to get

at least five hours of sleep.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

That's not enough.

I know it's not enough.

And I'm wanting more.

It's still about,

it's still like a line.

Totally.

It's still something for me to be like,

all right,

time to put this down.

And you've associated amount of sleep

with that idea of like you beating yourself up

or like wondering what's enough.

Yeah.

Wow.

I think so.

It's like,

it literally should not keep me up. about it assessing it in hindsight like all of it like working on it I love work I love the process capital T capital P but I'm like let's just set it down and it'll always be better in the morning when we have a fresh set of eyes like anytime we run run on a Tuesday, it's like, okay, I don't know what this is,

but let's look at it in the morning.

And it's,

and then like,

it's me and Celestia.

I'm like laughing,

laughing,

laughing,

like typing,

typing,

typing on zoom.

And it's like,

I love that so much.

Yeah.

But the actual process of being like little fairy creator,

a little fairy creator,

but like,

you know,

like,

um,

especially now I feel like,

and I think you guys probably understand this too. like perfection is a little overrated.
It's nice when it's rough, you know? I kind of don't have that perfectionist like hindsight when I'm like, oh, that could have been better, that could have been better anymore. Because I'm just like, no, I kind of like that, especially on SNL.
It's like, it's nice that there's this, like, weird sort of error and stimulus in the way that it is, like, made and in the way that it's performed. It's like, this is so unpolished because there is no other way to polish this.
There is no time to polish this. And so, therefore, this is what you get.
And here it is. Here's your product.
Enjoy. I wish everyone could see what I saw because I cannot overstate how going to the show, just the weight of this thing, it just took my understanding of it to a whole new level.
And I wish everyone knew. And in some small ways through listening to this podcast, I feel like people get a look into it.
But to be able to see the the inner workings of this, it's so hard. What you guys have to do.
What we do is like, it's just purely emotional, I think. I mean, just the, the demand, like, you know, like the demand and the pace and it's exciting and it's incredible, but it's just like, I go, yeah, I am.
It puts into context how much of a mere mortal I am and how much like you guys are operating on such a higher level. That's nice.
I feel like we're all like we're all on the same level here of like we get emotional about things that we make. And so therefore, no matter what, no matter what the context is.
Yeah, of course. It is.
I'm just sitting here thinking like there's some confronting going on, like of self. And I'm like, that's probably why I've done that same fucking Christmas show for six years.
Not that it's like, not that it's like the same. It changes every year and I get better at it every year.
But now I'm fully like Matt Rogers. If you don't write a new show, if you don't write new material, I am disappointed in you.
Like I will be disappointed in myself if I don't create something new because I have and it's almost like comical now. And that's part of what makes that idea funny to me is like it comes back every year like Christmas.
But I'm like, stop using it as a crutch. You know what I mean? That's like me genuinely telling myself like these things, you have to stop using them as crutches.
And like, I don't know. It's just, we needed sponge today.
We needed sponge today. Because I didn't tell myself that anyway.
We needed sponge today. Just like we all, at this point in our careers and in our lives, like we're so lucky to even have retrospect.
Yeah. But you do have to force yourself to change because it's that comfort in like the quote unquote success that can get you to a certain place like you know what I mean like you blessedly won't be at SNL forever one day like you know you'll have another role that is different from hacks like if I am any good at what I do write something new at some point you know what I mean but it is nice to get to to get to that point totally like it almost feels like no not everyone like gets to say like what's the next act gonna be yeah like it's a really exciting thing it is and reframing it as exciting and not like it's not a negative judgment on you if you don't do it it's more so like i can do it and i'm excited to do it and like i I and the audience deserve more.
And I deserve to feel connected. You know that spark when something's new, there's nothing like it.
You deserve to feel that feeling. Like we all as artists crave that feeling.
And it's like, when it comes from you, a gifted artisan, like you're operating on a higher level as well, like by virtue of like the things that you have done and who you are as an artist. Like that is exciting.
And we all want to feel that. I watching you want to feel that.
And I want to watch you feel that. You know what I mean? I like to watch.
You know what I'm saying? This is another reason why, though, that like the older generation of comedian is like it bums me out so much is because it's like I know when they say shit like that, it get in people's heads a little bit like when the industry constantly tells you like oh we don't want this type of show or like this type of thing isn't working so right now especially like as it's getting worse and worse like and harder and harder for like marginalized voices again you know we're officially you know it's not like 2014 anymore where they're like what's the what's the deal with this queer thing you know what i It's like, it's kind of more difficult again. That is something I resent.
You know what I mean? Because, yeah, it is in response to like these uninformed opinions. Yeah, they're shouting us down.
You know what I mean? And that feels like so opposite of the spirit that I know uplifted our entire peer group. And like that, I guess, does piss me off.
That it's like, you're trying to make us afraid

to do what we do.

Because you're trying to tell us as an authority figure

that you know better and that you see the future,

but you don't see the future.

You can't even participate in the present.

So why the fuck should I listen to you

about what the future is?

Or what the past even was?

You had perspective on that too.

So why are you trying to make it an uncomfortable, scary atmosphere? New John Waters quote just dropped in an interview. And this applies to us, me and you.
Once you turn 30, just shut up. Just stop talking.
That's actually major. Incredible.
Well, I'm 29, so I have one more year. You have a little bit more time.

You got about a year, as Tina Fey once famously said.

Oh, my God.

That was so awesome when she said that.

She was in that chair when she rocked the world.

That was crazy.

Did definitely get in the head.

That went hard.

Yeah, but she's the smartest.

She slaps. So it's just like, it is what it is.
Everybody has been there. Traffic was a nightmare.
You got home late and your dinner plans are out the window when you hear the inevitable tiny voice saying, I'm hungry. That's when dinner dread sets in.
What are you going to make tonight? How can such a simple question be so hard to answer? Well, it doesn't have to be. Because a delicious, family-pleasing meal from Stouffer's is only a ding away.
So, if your dinner plans are derailed, don't worry. Just turn to a delicious solution from Stouffer's.
A meal that will always leave everyone happy. Especially you.
Especially me. With the lasagna.
Maybe some chicken enchiladas. Spaghetti with meat sauce is always a winner.
Or how about some cheesy chicken and broccoli pasta bake? Yes, please. When the clock strikes dinner, think Stouffer's.
Shop now for family favorites. Catch the new Hulu original comedy, Mid-Century Modern, from the creators of Will and Grace, executive producer Ryan Murphy and director James Burroughs.
When three best friends move in together, Palm Springs will never be the same. Bunny, Jerry, and Arthur are already close friends, but when they decide to live together, it's a new chapter with a new family.
And speaking of family, don't forget Bunny's mom, Sybil, who's along for the ride. Whether it's a trip to Fire Island or a local congresswoman with a wild side, these roomies know how to do it with style.
They're fun, they're fabulous, and they're turning life's lemons into spiked lemonade. So shake up a batch of cocktails, relax by the pool, and get ready for some serious shade.
A new comedy with heart, soul, and sass, Mid-Century Modern stars Nathan Laid, Matt Bomer, Nathan Lee Graham, and Linda Lavin. All episodes of Mid-Century Modern are now streaming on Hulu.
Hey readers, it is so thrilling to tell you about a new podcast from the iconic, the incomparable Michelle Obama and her big brother Craig called IMO. You know, on Lost Culture Recess, we dive deep into the culture and get real with our guests.
Likewise, on IMO, Michelle, Craig, and their guests tackle questions from listeners just like you, offering practical advice, personal storytelling, and plenty of laughs. from dating and relationships to family and faith.
Michelle and Craig give their candid perspectives to the everyday questions shaping our lives

and the of laughs. From dating and relationships to family and faith, Michelle and Craig give their candid perspectives to the everyday questions shaping our lives and the world around us.
Like their first episode where Issa Rae laments friendships that need to go. You'll hear Michelle and Craig's stories about being there for each other throughout their lives, from first crushes and fraught college years to landing at the White House to losing their mom.
For six decades, they've been each other's most trusted counsel, and now they want to be that counsel for you. So if you want to know about the culture that made Michelle and Craig say culture is for them, check out IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson wherever you get your podcasts.
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Inspired by a true story, this series follows Molly, who after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband and explore the full breadth of her sexual desires. She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend Nikki, who stays by her side through it all.
FX is dying for sex. All episodes streaming April 4th on Hulu.
Well, it might be time. Every might be time for, I don't think so, honey, which is sort of that one minute segment, but wouldn't you say, or rant and rave against something in pop culture that, tough, tough.
I can only make a noise. Grants our ears.
Okay. So I have something and it's sort of a, it's sort of a sequel to one that I did a while back.
It's even the same words, but it's different content. Oh, that so interesting.
Okay, this is Matt Rogers. I don't think so, honey.
His time starts now. Once again, I don't think so, honey.
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, critics, do you think that they wanted this? Do you think that they wanted to get back together and then have it dissolve in this way? Guys, please. They are both trying the best they can.
Maybe they don't even know how to try the best they can, but they're definitely trying. I have to say like the amount of attention they get, of course, it's their responsibility a little bit.
Like they, you know, it's not like they, they don't traffic in it a little bit, but this can't be what they wanted. And so don't pile on the people.
You know what I mean? They want to be happy just like everyone else. We all saw the movie.
And by we all, I mean, however many people out there that actually streamed it like we did. But we consume the culture.
And I don't think there was like a false bone in that. I think she really genuinely thinks this was all the things that were going to make her happy.
And it didn't work out. So don't punch the woman when she's down.
She had to cancel the goddamn tour. Like, do you know, it's, that was the last resort canceling the tour.
Like, just leave J-Lo be. And Ben, let him get his Dunkin' Donuts in peace.
Clearly the man is like, just wants his Dunkin' Donuts. You know what I'm saying? So I say swipe the card.
I'm sure he's got like, you know, a certain card there that gets like VIP status. Swipe the card, Ben.
And J-Lo, you're going to be okay. Just take a break.
And that's one minute. Yeah, J-Lo's going through it right now in every way.
I just, people treat, they're, I, I, like, they're not zoo animals, guys. These are people with lives and kids and stuff.
Like, can we not? That's so crazy. It's just like, and I remember I said years ago, I don't think so many Ben Affleck and JLo critics let her get her best nut.
I feel like she really, she followed her heart back to her best nut. And how can you blame her for doing that? You know what I mean? Like in times of struggle, we sometimes will just go back to our best nut.
And it's a reminder. And maybe she didn't have the person to remind her, but don't just go back to your best nut because the best nut is a nut that stopped for a reason.
You know what I'm saying? And it's like, this actually can be a great reminder to everyone. Like, just because it was your best nut does not mean that it's going to be the nut.
It can't be the final nut. But you can't, JLo will not sponge that because she doesn't want to because she's like, is a nam.
She's a romantic. It's romantic.
She wants that fantasy. I know.
And I wonder when she'll realize that the fantasy is not something that can ever be real. But it's like, while she figures it out, you can't.
Yeah. Like, and I also wonder like how much of it is them like being photographed without the ring and like trafficking and that sort of like 2000s paparazzi mentality that maybe some people think is still a thing to engage in but i'm like the whole thing is exhausting and also like we don't need the narrative the press narrative again like and like.
The whole thing is just like,

I really thought they wouldn't break up.

And now that they are, I'm like, oh no,

we all got to disengage.

We all got dudes.

Everyone got dudes.

But that was exciting in the beginning, wasn't it?

Oh, so exciting.

That was really fun for us.

Because it made you believe that it could happen again.

I remember I even said on this podcast,

that really fucked me up knowing that they found each other again. And Bo and Yang was like, well, dot, dot, dot.
And now we found out where the elipsis led. Divorce.
All we can say is that we hope Jennifer Garner is doing well and protecting her peace. Yeah, for sure.
I think she's probably doing good. I know, but she's, I do want to.
She's in the garden. She's in her garden.
She's overalls dirt on the overalls. Yeah, but like, she must not be feeling great things either.
She must feel so complicated about all of this. Father of her kids.
Yeah. What are they going through, you know? My God.
It touches everybody. You know, you mentioned Jennifer Garner in the garden.
Have you ever noticed that Jennifer Garner does a lot of movies where like her kids are plants or her plants are kids like like a lot of times are plants like she definitely did a movie where her kid was a plant and then like she was upset when the plant died because it was her kid and it's like well you know the kid is a plant i think it was the odd life of timothy green just feels like i miss often times jennifer garner is in a film where her kids are in mortal peril or dead already or like gonna die because they're a plant and it's gay love simon yeah so that's what i'm saying like kid and emotional you can breathe now simon like she clearly is someone whose heart is like tugged at by by like i want to do a movie about the power of like me protecting my kids love for my kids so at least that well you know what I mean? Mom is rock solid. Yeah, she is our mom.
While daddy and stepmom figure it out. Right.
But she has been, she has seen every angle of motherhood. Yes.
And she knows how to direct that in the best way for her children. A hundred.
She's listed from both sides now. A hundred.
You ready, Bowen? Do you have an an I don't think so, honey, today? I do. Well, this is good.
Here we go. This is Bowen Young's I don't think so, honey.
His time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Packing shoes in luggage. It's taken up two thirds of my space all of a sudden for one pair, one pair.
And the best I can do to stuff into that shoe is maybe a pill case maybe a glasses case maybe a toothbrush if it's being covered but shoes and suit we have to think of a better way to travel with shoes because they the footprint literally is too big it's too big in the suitcase and I don't that means I cannot back my portable steamer oh Hannah's got a stomper. And I bet you didn't love solving that little puzzle in your away bag, maybe.
Whatever your luggage is. It's away.
I just think we need to, I can't believe technology is not advanced enough to solve for this. I don't know what we have to do.
There's certainly no political solution to this. I'm not confident or hopeful in a technological one.

So I think we just need to invent something

that's smaller than shoes,

but we can wear on our feet.

And that's a minute.

Like, I guess we're gonna have to figure out

how to fold up a shoe.

We need a foldable shoe.

Also because they are the last thing

you think to put in the bag

because you're like,

oh, I need my sweatshirts, my socks,

my underwear, my this.

And then you're like, oh God.

My fucking shoes.

Because then, you know,

it is always an acrimonious

between like the dob kit and the shoes.

Oh my God.

I'm going to get everything back? Well, I have to say, all I had were white sneakers, plain white sneakers for Fire Island and these black, I'll say like loafers. Yeah.
You wore some pretty sick loafers on the island. But that's not the ideal shoe situation.
No. Period.
No matter where you go. You want at least three pairs of shoes with you.
Don't you? I do. And this is you're not checking.
You're you're on a ferry. How do you get the fire on? You take a ferry.
You got to take a ferry. So so what if it is the like the zipper bag that goes over the the handle of the luggage and that's just shoe bag.
It's shoe toiletry bag. Interesting.
It's a secondary bag. That's my only.
No, no first thought. Thank you.
And thank you for like thinking of that. I think we should all meet at some point.
We should all meet. At NASA.
At NASA to figure out a foldable shoe. To bounce it off the guys.
And girls. Guys and girls and days.
Whoever is working there, we're coming down. Yeah, we gotta come down.
The worst is when you have tried to figure out and finally figured out a spot for that third pair of shoes and then they never get worn on the trip. And then you're like, oh god.
Do you remember those blue loafers I wanted to wear? You didn't wear them. No, because I actually like, I was excited about the blue loafers that I honestly forgot I had.
They were in the back of my closet. They're cute.
And then I just didn't have an outfit that they would go with, which I didn't think when I was packing up. I just thought, wow, my loafers fit.
And I didn't look at the corresponding clothes to see if anything would make sense. And then I go to Bo and Yang, who I trust very much sartorially.
And I look at him and I say, do these loafers work or are they too much and to his credit he really tried he looked at me and he was like yeah and then he goes maybe too much and I was like too much but they never got worn that's right but you packed them and you did not pack to coordinate with the shoe because you were so worked up and amazed yeah but you You were so amazed. The shoes literally fit.
Uh-huh. And so that is the win.
That is the victory. I don't have to think of anything else.
Yeah. Right.
I have started to do the like fitting before the packing where I'm going, I'm creating outfits. I mean, and that's like the luxury of time, of course.
But if you can get, if you can work that in, just going, here is the pant, here is the shoe.

These are the shirts, right?

These are the shirts.

And so that kind of consolidates.

And it's like, it's two shoes.

This is the one I'm wearing on the plane.

It's bulkier.

The other one goes, you know, in the suitcase.

That's how I've been doing it.

I mean, you're an expert at this point.

You've been on the road.

Look, you know, folks, I'm going really small bag on the road. Okay, you got to have economy going on.
You're usually not checking, I assume. Never, never checking.
Well, because it's had so much time. So much time.
I'm flying in day of the first show. Yeah.
I'm in, I'm out. 100%.
You know. Period.
I also feel like we need to stop the culture of going at putting an outfit together, shirts forward. Pants forward.
Start from the pants. Start from the pants or start from the shoe.
That could be a moment and a half. Ground up.
Speaking of them. Isn't it tragic that you might be limited to two shoe options in a given trip? That's all I'm saying.
And then here I am with a third pair that are perfectly lovely. I just didn't have anywhere to wear them.
It's brutal. It's brutal.
It was brutal. What a brutal trip.
That was a moment and a half. This is going to be a minute and no half.
This is a minute, which is I don't think so, honey. This is your sort of moment.
Are you ready for this? I have to be ready. And that's actually dead ass.
This is Hannah Einbinder's I don't think so, honey. Time starts now.
I don't think so, honey. Stubbing my toe.
No! That hurts, you guys. I'm going ouch.
That's what I'm saying. I'm saying ouch.
I'm screaming in pain. So you're telling me I'm on my way somewhere.
I'm trying to get something. I'm actually typically in a rush and I'm stubbing my toe and nothing's ever hurt more.
I've broken bones. I've broken bones.
I've fallen from heights. You guys know my past.
I explored that very extensively on this podcast episodes. I've fallen from heights.
I know pain and no pain is more severe than the ancestral pain that rages through the foot when you stub the toe. I don't think so, honey, stubbing your toe on the side of the thing that's never been sharper.
Shut up. What is up with the sharp stuff around me? I'm stubbing my goddamn toe and the big toe.
I'm not walking around if I lose access to that. It doesn't stop hurting.
It doesn't alleviate the pain. The pain is persistent and I'm just supposed to keep walking around there, but I can't.
I can't live in this world. I don't want to live in the world where I'm stubbing toes all the time.
I don't think so, honey. Stubbing your toe.
And that's one minute. And I think we all felt that like energetically.
And we also all felt that physically. Because at one point, Bowen just goes, oh! And I could tell it was because he was having a flashback.
I had sense memory. Yes.
Flashback. Why does it hurt like that? Well, anytime I stub my toe, you know what my first thought is? If I'm in any sort of physical accident that hurts any other part of my body, I will perish.
I will perish. My body will not know how to process it.
It is the deepest pain anyone's ever felt when I stubbed my toe. And as you were saying this, how twisted is it that my thought was, well, we should eliminate corners.
Ban corners. I almost thought about pitching to you you should baby proof your house if you're that concerned.
And then down the road, it's already done if you ever want to have kids. That's right.
You know what I mean? Like it's already baby proofed. I baby proofed it for myself because I remember what it was like.
You know what it is? It's from like the paper cut school of senseless, useless, worthless's just like why it's so stupid it's not even like it's not even like yes one time I was in an accident and as a result I learned something it's like no I got a paper cut I'm in pain for a stupid reason because I'm so dumb I could barely hold paper I was so I was it was such a page turner that I'm slicing my finger on the weakest substance a piece of paper paper. That's the most bullshit thing in rock, paper, scissors.
And now I'm bleeding. It's like, come on.
Also, not for nothing, but your toe, something you barely need. Literally.
Is getting hurtful now. What? I mean.
Some people need their toes. You kind of, I mean, isn't there that, right? I don't want to speak out of turn.
You might need them. You might need them.
It's just like you could walk in. It's like if you lose the, you know.
Then you're off balance, babe. You're off balance.
When I had athlete's foot, I wanted to cut my foot off. No, man.
I've had athlete's foot so bad. I heard.
I listened. I know, thank you.
That I wanted to cut off my foot. I felt like that would be preferable.
You remember what it's like to have an injury from like feeling back in the day? You ever get like tendonitis or something? Oh my God. I had tendonitis so bad one time.
I was like, take my leg. Take it off.
Take it off. Take it off.
I would rather not have this part of my body than experience the pain. And when you stub your toe.
Oh, I've broken toes. It's the same feeling.
Are you serious? I've broken fingers. Oh, yeah, at all.
How many breaks in your life? I've broken fingers. I've broken this elbow.
I broke several toes. And it's the same feeling.
You're so right. I've broken this arm twice in my childhood.
Same pain. It's the same pain, you guys.
I can't even say out loud. There's nothing worse than what that is.
No,. I'm just scared because you just said, I've broken bones, I've broken bones, and now I have to say out loud, I've never broken a bone, and that is something you've never said because then I'm going to get hit.
No. But Matt, it's going to hurt just as bad as stubbing your toe.
No, you don't. At least I know what it feels like.
You can't do it. Don't do it.
Don't do it. No, I'm not saying it.
You've gone this long. You're not gonna.
Can I just say on the paper cut note? Yeah. On the paper cut note, this is the only time you'll catch me saying, thank God for screens.
I don't miss the stuff. I don't miss the sheets.
Oh, shit. Keep the reams at home.
Wait, the oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, I should have clarified.
I kind of- I thought you meant like a screen door. No, I'm saying like digital everything.
Well, bless you. Bless you.
You hear these horror stories. Get the documents away.
Yeah. Well, you've heard these horror stories about people just walking into glass doors.
Of course. You've heard the horror stories.
There are so many people out there. This is an epidemic.
Some people are so good at cleaning their windows and doors that you cannot see them from being see-through. So you'll go right into them.
And you're Flacco. Whatever that means, you're it.
The owl. Flacco the owl.
Who died by crashing into a building. A glass.
It's so sad. What a terrible story.
It's so sad. But birds everywhere are doing this,rashing into buildings It's so terrible Have you ever really Been there when a bird Hit a window No I don't want to think about it Oh my god I can't Well we were talking The other day about how Birds are so amazing Oh my god crows Please Crows Really love them Crows are Highly intelligent You know that Highly intelligent They are They can remember faces They can do tasks Fuck off No Crows Crows are highly intelligent.
You know that. Highly intelligent.
They are? They can remember faces. They can do tasks.

Fuck off.

No.

Crows are crazy.

I have a joke.

Go ahead.

What do you call it when a crow tries to throw a party, but no one comes?

An attempted murder.

That was really good.

Isn't that good? Hey. Hey.
Hey. Why was Cinderella so bad at sports? Why? Runs from the ball.
Yo, I want like that kind of, that needs to make a comeback. That kind of set up punchline, lappy-tappy shit.
Yeah. Yes.
What

is a pirate's favorite letter?

R. You'd think

it'd be R, but tis the C

that he loves.

Oh my god, that was electric.

You should

use that for the next special. Okay.

That's my opener.

I'm closing with the murder joke. Debra Vance

could never. No, she couldn't.
Ava wouldn't let her. No.
Ava wouldn't let her. She is in charge.
Well, this has just been joyful. Oh my god.
And triumphant. In the words of a Christmas song.
Oh, come all your faith. Oh, come all your faith.
You guys, thank you really truly for having me. I'm so number one fan vibes.
And this is so genuinely the true gift of my life. You are the true gift.
Thank you. God, what a cool fucking thing.
Special. The show.
The many things. The abundance of Hannah.
Yeah. I just remember like I'm excited for you and happy for you.
And I understand why you're here with emotion because like, it is like sharing a piece of yourself with everybody. When you release that special, if you ever get lucky enough to do that, I'm sure you will.
Like whenever you really put something into an hour and then give it to people. So I hope you enjoy it.
And I hope it's like a really beautiful, the premieres tonight we're going to go. i hope it's a beautiful night and i hope that you can uh work on in the next few hours uh taking all that love and just being like i'm gonna hold it because you deserve to hold it well when i hear it from the two of you and i look in your eyes i feel it we must say the title episode would be Sponge's Sponge.
I think maybe Sponge. I like Sponge.
We end every episode with a song. Oh my God, this is perfect.
Because what were we watching in Cherry Grove the other night? Last night. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants! Absorbed in yellow and porous disease! SpongeBob SquarePits! If not, I'm well-noticed.

It's something you wish.

SpongeBob SquarePits!

SpongeBob SquarePits!

SpongeBob SquarePits!

SpongeBob SquarePits! SpongeBob SquarePits! SpongeBob SquarePits! SpongeBob SquarePits! SpongeBob SquarePits! SpongeBob SquarePits! SpongeBob SquarePits! SpongeBob SquarePits! SpongeBob SquarePits! SpongeBob SquarePits! SpongeBob SquarePits! Why was that square pants?

Why was that such an emotional note?

If you see those sheet music,

that is an emotional note.

100%. SpongeBob SquarePants is giving everything to God.
To God. Bye.
Bye. Bye.
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This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate. Inspired by a true story, this series follows Molly, who after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband and explore the full breadth of her sexual desires.
She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend Nikki, who stays by her side through it all. FX is dying for sex.
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