“I’m The Party” (w/ Amy Poehler)

Transcript

Speaker 1 This is an iHeart podcast.

Speaker 2 The best dates happen when someone really gets your vibe, your niche references, your hot takes, even your reality TV obsessions.

Speaker 6 That's why it's so exciting to be partnering with Bumble.

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Speaker 3 So if you're ready to meet someone who really gets you and your energy, Bumble is the perfect place to start.

Speaker 8 What are you waiting for?

Speaker 11 Download Bumble and start your love story.

Speaker 3 Ever ask yourself, what am I capable of?

Speaker 18 Ford believes only you can answer that, even if others try to do it for you.

Speaker 13 You're the one who defines your legacy, chases the horizon, engineers your dreams, conquers the curves.

Speaker 15 That capability, it's in you.

Speaker 21 Just like it's built into every F-150, Bronco, Mustang, and every other Ford vehicle.

Speaker 22 Because whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.

Speaker 24 Ready?

Speaker 20 Set.

Speaker 25 Ford.

Speaker 15 Visit Ford.com to learn more.

Speaker 27 I'm stressed.

Speaker 28 I got invited to a Friendsgiving, and now there's the big question of what to bring.

Speaker 2 Well, just bring a bottle of Casamigos.

Speaker 31 Oh, Casamigos, of course.

Speaker 4 Nothing brings people together like a batch of Casamigos margaritas.

Speaker 33 A Casamigos margarita really is the perfect cocktail.

Speaker 2 Plus, Casamigos goes with everything.

Speaker 37 Turkey, stuffing, mac and cheese.

Speaker 4 Oh, I was thinking more cranberry juice or ginger beer, but that works too.

Speaker 39 Well, you know, the iconic rule of culture number 743.

Speaker 37 Anything goes with my Casamigos.

Speaker 44 This Friendsgiving, you know what everyone will be grateful for?

Speaker 34 Casamigos?

Speaker 46 I was going to say you and Casamigos.

Speaker 23 Oh,

Speaker 47 let's keep it in that order.

Speaker 48 Please drink responsibly.

Speaker 49 Imported by Casamigo Spirits Company, White Plains, New York.

Speaker 51 Casamigo Stequila, 40% alcohol by volume.

Speaker 52 Get ready for your next TV obsession, All's Fair.

Speaker 53 Starring Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts, Nisi Nash Betts, Tayana Taylor, with Sarah Poulson, and Glenn Close.

Speaker 55 A A team of fierce female divorce attorneys leave a male-dominated firm to start their own.

Speaker 60 Filled with scandalous secrets and shifting allegiances, both in the courtroom and within their own ranks, these ladies know that lawyers are a girl's best friend.

Speaker 62 Don't miss All's Fair.

Speaker 63 Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 62 Terms apply.

Speaker 64 Look, man.

Speaker 38 Oh, I see. My eye.
Oh, my.

Speaker 65 Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that culture?

Speaker 36 Yes. Goodness.

Speaker 42 Las Culturistas.

Speaker 66 Ding-dong.

Speaker 67 Las culturistas calling.

Speaker 68 Get into it.

Speaker 59 Mayhem in the desert.

Speaker 69 Mayhem in the desert merch, my favorite color, the color that works best for me and my skin tone, neon.

Speaker 74 I can't tell if you're joking because Matt is one of our olive-toned legends.

Speaker 76 And you really must cherish this fact about yourself.

Speaker 78 I like it.

Speaker 76 You've been, can I say, as a platonic person in your life.

Speaker 66 Here we go.

Speaker 73 You looked really good this weekend.

Speaker 81 Shut up.

Speaker 82 Were you looking at my photos scantily clad i sort of went there in my photos you could have withheld from posting you didn't want to

Speaker 88 and one of the sort of fringe things that happens one of the fringe consequences is that sometimes your friends go oh sometimes your friends get a little chub for you it's actually rule of culture number 16.

Speaker 72 sometimes your own friends get a little chub for you well thanks um awkward uh wait can i say lucky for you though because i've went to now went to weekend one we're going to weekend two yeah it's going to be 20 degrees colder in a good way it's going to be yes it's going to be in the mid 70s for my legend oh the gods said it's bowen yang's first coachella cool it down cool it down although earthquake today uh heard about this when i was driving back couldn't feel a thing because i was gunning it right in the hov and you were you're you were bouncing on that thing that you couldn't even see sometimes you were just boom boom boom boom boom i haven't felt an earthquake once no that's a lot that's not true we were we were in palm springs the last time we felt an earthquake felt that that one.

Speaker 80 Mitra Juhari was sitting next to me.

Speaker 101 Sandy Hoenick was there. Sandy Hoenig was there.

Speaker 102 We were stoned.

Speaker 74 And we were at the Tropicana eating. Tropican.
Tropical, I'm sorry, eating dinner.

Speaker 82 Full-on earthquake. Yeah.

Speaker 101 I was eating like my chicken picata or whatever the fuck.

Speaker 100 And then I was like, Mitra Juhari is shaking her ass in this booth.

Speaker 95 What is going on? Which was unlike her.

Speaker 71 She usually just sits very still and eats.

Speaker 17 She sits very still and eats.

Speaker 5 And then we realized in the commotion at the restaurant that it was an earthquake.

Speaker 105 A loco motion. Loco motion.

Speaker 107 Kylie was not at Coachella.

Speaker 108 She's everywhere else.

Speaker 95 She's everywhere else.

Speaker 109 It was the New York gay night last week, the Kylie Minogue concert.

Speaker 110 And I was going to try to go, but we were at work.

Speaker 99 I've seen her.

Speaker 107 It's been an accident 19 times in the last year.

Speaker 69 And that's not to say it needs to be an accident for me to see Kylie Minogue.

Speaker 103 It just so happens everywhere I am, Kylie Minogue is.

Speaker 99 That's amazing.

Speaker 82 That's amazing.

Speaker 111 Oh, that's so nice.

Speaker 76 You must understand how important Kylie Minog is.

Speaker 99 She's important to the culture.

Speaker 103 She's invited on the pod.

Speaker 103 We would have a a great conversation with Kylie, starting with the locomotion and going all through her career.

Speaker 89 Just to speak quickly on Gaga, it was unfucking believable.

Speaker 70 You're going to have the best time.

Speaker 114 And also, Charlie was amazing. I'm so excited to go with you.

Speaker 99 I'm so excited.

Speaker 89 But here's the thing: in order to sort of get there, we have this other milestone that's happening, which is this episode that we're doing today.

Speaker 116 I have to say, probably the reason I do comedy is sitting across from us.

Speaker 65 Yeah.

Speaker 118 And what an instant,

Speaker 119 what a nice, soothing soul moment that it's so easy to be around her.

Speaker 74 I walked in.

Speaker 76 She was making coffee, stirring her mug with a hat with a knife.

Speaker 64 It's a knife when.

Speaker 120 It's a knife.

Speaker 85 Period. Period.

Speaker 89 So this is a big day, Bo.

Speaker 121 She's already podcasting royalty.

Speaker 85 Number one in the land.

Speaker 74 Not even a month into the game, and she's number one in the land. Good hang on Spotify.

Speaker 104 Hey, Joe Rogan, shut up.

Speaker 122 Get bent.

Speaker 90 Over cool it.

Speaker 81 Cool it.

Speaker 105 It is fantastic.

Speaker 101 Just as the title suggests, it's a good hank.

Speaker 74 We'll talk about the format because there are some innovative things.

Speaker 77 You thought you couldn't innovate in the podcasting space.

Speaker 100 No.

Speaker 105 You haven't met our guests.

Speaker 125 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Restless Like Tor is back,

Speaker 98 one of my favorite live comedy shows in the last lifetime of mine.

Speaker 75 And my last lifetime, it's my favorite live comedy show.

Speaker 100 The blueprint of two people doing comedy.

Speaker 46 Literally.

Speaker 84 There had never been anyone before.

Speaker 71 Carol Burnett and Julie Andrews, who?

Speaker 127 That's my example.

Speaker 74 Gay man.

Speaker 70 Julie Andrews and Carol Burnett is like, that's so funny.

Speaker 94 Like, you think of them as like the comedy icons.

Speaker 105 But we forget about them as comedy duo icons. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 82 You know what I mean? They turned it.

Speaker 95 You know what we need to do?

Speaker 71 We need to do Abbott and Costello meet the monsters, but Matt and Bowen meet the monsters.

Speaker 95 I'm pitching this to Universal.

Speaker 78 Have us meet the wolf, man.

Speaker 70 I'm serious.

Speaker 69 This is a film franchise.

Speaker 85 This is Matt and Bowen meet Dracula, meet the bride of Frankenstein.

Speaker 132 Meet Victoria Frankenstein.

Speaker 84 Oh, we're coming for her. Have you heard about Victoria Frankenstein? The great-granddaughter of...

Speaker 78 Well, let's ask her after we bring her in.

Speaker 42 She's a legend.

Speaker 82 Everyone, please welcome. Hey, Amy Mueller!

Speaker 1 Hi! That was like being at my own funeral.

Speaker 64 Floating above.

Speaker 134 It was. I was dissociating it.

Speaker 69 Like, Rise Like the Monsters.

Speaker 84 Have you heard about Victoria Frankenstein?

Speaker 82 Oh, my gosh. I don't know.
We asked Tina the same exact thing in her episode.

Speaker 66 Did she

Speaker 64 meet?

Speaker 74 Yes, and she mixed up with Lisa Frankenstein in the Diablo Cody movie.

Speaker 67 Okay.

Speaker 84 But have you heard about Victoria Frankenstein?

Speaker 137 Yes, I think so.

Speaker 130 She basically.

Speaker 82 Tell me more.

Speaker 70 So there's the new theme park in Universal Studios in Orlando, Epic Universe, and there's the dark universe, which is sort of like all the monsters.

Speaker 103 And the big ride in the pre-show, it's hosted by Victoria Frankenstein, who is like the girl boss great-granddaughter of Victor Frankenstein.

Speaker 140 And her whole gig is she wants to show that the monsters can be contained.

Speaker 114 And she wants to basically take you around the mansion so you can see all the monsters and you know something goes wrong.

Speaker 1 She's like dom energy, like, well, I got it covered. And then

Speaker 1 she's in over her head.

Speaker 74 No, and this just goes to show you, like, can women dom?

Speaker 84 We wanted to know from women.

Speaker 1 Should women be in charge?

Speaker 142 That's what we're here to talk about.

Speaker 82 And the answer is maybe.

Speaker 46 Maybe.

Speaker 118 Maybe.

Speaker 136 Per chance.

Speaker 78 I think because it's a theme park ride and something's going to go wrong, people are going to have a lot to say.

Speaker 103 Everyone leaving is all those Florida people leaving are going going to be like, well, I know you guys are big theme park people.

Speaker 143 I am not theme park ride.

Speaker 144 See, this is where you and Tina sort of go.

Speaker 1 In fact, Tina and I just did a show in Orlando, and she was very excited to get me to go on the rides. And I did not want to go on the rides.
I'm not a theme park person. All right.
Sorry.

Speaker 1 I know it's lame.

Speaker 130 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we, we are the ones who should probably take a seat, right, Reese.

Speaker 1 Our guide was talking about you two.

Speaker 82 Wait, okay, was it Sam?

Speaker 38 Sam. Yeah, lovely.

Speaker 1 And he had the best time with you.

Speaker 94 We had the best time with him.

Speaker 69 And

Speaker 144 he was really a classic.

Speaker 89 He was the perfect prototype of what you want that person to be.

Speaker 107 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 38 Disney World is overwhelming.

Speaker 82 Oh, it's one of the

Speaker 1 and too many, like too far away.

Speaker 73 Too far away, too spread out.

Speaker 111 Too spread out.

Speaker 149 A lot of the same images kind of like being projected at you from like Plato's cave.

Speaker 76 You know what I mean?

Speaker 75 Like you're like, is this an illusion?

Speaker 73 It's not. It's real.

Speaker 75 Like then you have to come out.

Speaker 1 I'm also at an age where I don't want to be shook anymore. Like, I don't want to be so

Speaker 148 sure.

Speaker 1 I don't like being nauseous. I don't like the lack of control.

Speaker 1 It definitely feels like I never get to the, it's like when people say when you get a runner's high. Yeah.

Speaker 46 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 They never happen. That's what it feels like at those theme parks, which is like, aren't you feeling it?

Speaker 137 And you're like, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 I'm not.

Speaker 152 I don't know. I know.

Speaker 90 Do you know what's the thing that I never realized about all theme parks until I brought a friend who pointed it out and then I can't unhear it every time?

Speaker 117 The music never stops.

Speaker 120 It's always

Speaker 70 that's how it is in my brain all the time, I think.

Speaker 26 Maybe maybe we share that with Tina.

Speaker 106 Right.

Speaker 83 But like it never stops being adventure music in my brain.

Speaker 95 So Greta was like, it doesn't stop, does it?

Speaker 85 It never stops.

Speaker 96 I was like, oh, I guess not.

Speaker 1 And Dratch and Tina and I were all together and they went and had dinner at Epcot, Mexico. And I was supposed to meet them, and they texted me, and they were like, You would hate it here.
Don't come.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I know that's a real friend.

Speaker 91 That's a real friend.

Speaker 94 I literally know where they went because those guides have a place they take us.

Speaker 70 And then there's, there's a, and there's a Neil Patrick Harris cocktail.

Speaker 100 There's a Neil Patrick Harris cocktail.

Speaker 1 Is it a Doogie Hauser cocktail?

Speaker 84 No, it's like a horchata thing.

Speaker 42 I've tried it.

Speaker 106 I didn't love it, Neil.

Speaker 103 I'm sorry.

Speaker 82 That's okay.

Speaker 90 I just had it tequila rocks.

Speaker 87 That's okay.

Speaker 73 You guys are normally so aligned on your activities on tour.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're pretty, we do like very similar things. We go to Bloomingdale's, we like get us by a sweater.

Speaker 1 We like have, you know, we watch like, we got to watch the white lotus finale in our hotel together

Speaker 1 and that was really fun. And yeah, we do like simple, like we're like, ooh, like, did you see there's like a place for croissants around the corner?

Speaker 1 We'll go get one. That's about it.
But yeah, this one, we were not aligned.

Speaker 133 That's okay. That's okay.

Speaker 5 But they, but they knew that the Mexican place was not your

Speaker 157 that is what a real friend does.

Speaker 1 Don't you feel like a real friend knows don't come here?

Speaker 72 A real friend sometimes says you're not invited for your own good.

Speaker 84 That's a rule of culture number 30.

Speaker 46 A real friend sometimes says you're not invited for your own good.

Speaker 93 Well, talk about this idea.

Speaker 79 Do you feel like your life is scored?

Speaker 74 Because I'm watching The Pit now and I'm loving that it's not.

Speaker 93 Love the pit. I love the pit.
I got to get into the pit.

Speaker 46 Can I say

Speaker 5 we wrote a parody of the pit called The Ditch and it was East London.

Speaker 101 It took place in Shoreditch Medical.

Speaker 5 And it was just me, Ago, and John Hamm speaking in East London accents. And it was,

Speaker 5 it did not do great address because no one understood what we were saying.

Speaker 95 So that sometimes you got to wait for the culture to catch up.

Speaker 158 I feel like the people are just now talking about the pit.

Speaker 82 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I feel like TikTok loves the pit. Um, my TikTok loves the pit.
But I mean, I look, Noah Wiley, I've been a Noah Wiley stand for 20. I mean, I've, I watched the entirety of ER three times.

Speaker 143 That was your show.

Speaker 1 I watched it again during the pandemic, and then I watched it in the, when it came on, I used to be doing like improv at night and waiting tables. That was it.

Speaker 1 And I would smoke a bong at like seven o'clock and watch ER reruns.

Speaker 133 Let's go.

Speaker 1 Because I used to be on like TNT. Right.
And then like go to work or go to a comedy show. And so I feel like I've known Noah forever.

Speaker 46 Yeah.

Speaker 94 And to see him back in Scrubs has to be surreal.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And you know, Dr.
Robbie's not in Scrubs.

Speaker 101 He's got his hoodie over the hoodie.

Speaker 90 That's why I need to watch the piv.

Speaker 146 He's up. He's up.

Speaker 160 Yeah, but it's so good.

Speaker 81 It's so good.

Speaker 38 A bong, huh?

Speaker 122 You were for real. I used to, yeah.

Speaker 1 That was back, you know, God, let's see, 90, I was living living in the East Village, so I was 26, maybe.

Speaker 82 I was still too old to know.

Speaker 86 No, no, no.

Speaker 114 Our friend Dave had a bong probably until we were 27 and then 28, and then it broke, which is the only reason we stopped using it.

Speaker 89 But I couldn't believe how high I would get to watch Homeland.

Speaker 87 Like, fully clairdeant, having a very real breakdown.

Speaker 106 Like, we have to get her in that chair at some point and be like, how did you survive?

Speaker 150 Because she's shaking and convulsing because of her own brain.

Speaker 153 And I'm sitting there so high, like just taking that.

Speaker 1 Actually, when I was coming up here in the elevator, there was a gentleman, a gentleman, a nice young gentleman and a young girl. He made me tank in.

Speaker 82 He was made for tank in.

Speaker 148 And he had

Speaker 1 a chart with all this red string.

Speaker 1 And they, and it smelled so much like weed. They really, really reeked of weed.

Speaker 133 And I was like, oh.

Speaker 134 I thought to myself, oh, weed.

Speaker 1 Remember that? Like, it has been so long. And I just had that, it was like nostalgic.

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 98 we might be hitting that developmental time now between the two of us.

Speaker 73 Well, I don't know.

Speaker 82 I don't know.

Speaker 78 I was so back this weekend at Coachella.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, you were coachella.

Speaker 82 No, well, actually, it is.

Speaker 116 It gets well, what I like now is that they're so it's such a science now that you can kind of know exactly what it is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but yeah, I'm, I, I'm, yeah, I, that was a different time when I felt like I had no real responsibilities, even though I felt like my life was overwhelming.

Speaker 1 I didn't have a lot of responsibility, so it was like, okay, if I was a little stone, but now I don't think I could handle it.

Speaker 164 No.

Speaker 165 Not anymore.

Speaker 166 I think my ideal trip

Speaker 74 that my ideal trip is what you and I have connected on, which is what you've talked about in the last time I saw Wrestling Slug, which was going to Iceland.

Speaker 74 One of your sons or both of them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, with one of my sons.

Speaker 76 Just enjoying, just getting high off of nature.

Speaker 125 Yes. How about that?

Speaker 167 Well,

Speaker 1 I also think that I've gotten to a point where, I mean, I don't barely drink anymore, where

Speaker 1 I know it sounds super cheesy, but actually being conscious, like actually just being in the moment is like, oh, is like a high, is a win because I'm always future tripping or I'm always thinking about what I just said or did.

Speaker 1 And I just feel such less personality hangover in general when I'm not altered.

Speaker 133 So I'm not that into being altered right now.

Speaker 81 Wow.

Speaker 1 With like, and also I'm older and it just like you need a lot of time to recover. And I stopped drinking right before

Speaker 1 the pandemic and was really grateful that I didn't really do it during it.

Speaker 1 And now it's not a, it's not, I'm not in a program or anything, but just like every once in a while, maybe have a thing, but I don't really need it.

Speaker 169 And it feels very good.

Speaker 154 Yeah, honestly, whenever I take my like six weeks, I feel like, wow, this is the new me.

Speaker 65 But I have over, I don't know what

Speaker 144 I don't know what it is about the past two years, but maybe it's just mid-30s where I'm just like, sobriety, maybe.

Speaker 68 And then I'm like, and then, and then like that all goes away.

Speaker 122 And I'm like, nah, not for me. Yeah.

Speaker 171 I do think I can, if I can look to the future, I can see it for myself at some point.

Speaker 89 I can see it.

Speaker 1 Alcohol is poison. And that's

Speaker 66 poison.

Speaker 1 But it's okay. You know, you can have a little poison.
Like, just like sugar is poison. You can have a like, it can't, sugar, it's all poison.

Speaker 65 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I think, especially as a woman of a certain age, you get, you do start to feel the poison a little bit more. The poison really turns on you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And just you don't get the same kind of thing anymore.

Speaker 81 No, it goes away.

Speaker 124 Is it

Speaker 166 the microplastics in our brain as well?

Speaker 21 Yeah. I'm sorry to bring this up.

Speaker 1 Are you worried about microplastics?

Speaker 105 We were thinking of writing an update about, because this thing came up in last week.

Speaker 21 This New York Times piece came out about microplastics.

Speaker 5 The equivalent of a spoon is in your head.

Speaker 101 Is it all of our brains?

Speaker 95 No, stop.

Speaker 160 The equivalent of a spoon is plastic.

Speaker 92 You guys haven't heard this?

Speaker 102 The equivalent of a plastic dairy queen blizzard spoon is in our brains in little granules and there's really nothing we can do about it yeah

Speaker 172 yeah but

Speaker 1 come on first of all you can't tell me that we're not better off than generations ago we drink water how about that well that is they did it back when we did not we did not drink water growing up yeah we never talked about water and ever

Speaker 1 are you being serious yes in school no one made us drink water no one talked about water water was not a thing like you would go to the water fountain and you would drink like you, you would drink and drink and drink because you were so thirsty.

Speaker 143 You didn't realize that.

Speaker 148 No water bottles.

Speaker 1 No. You didn't have, like, maybe at a soccer game, they would have water, maybe, but it was like more like Gatorie Power Ranger.

Speaker 81 You never checked.

Speaker 1 You never said, did you drink water? They never brought water. There was never, now I'm obsessed with water.

Speaker 134 Yes.

Speaker 144 Do you have one of those jugs that says the time of day?

Speaker 1 I did have that, but and it was positive reinforcement. Like you're doing it.

Speaker 151 You're doing great.

Speaker 145 You're almost there or whatever.

Speaker 84 But now I Molly Shannon had one of those on the side. I love that for you.

Speaker 95 And you know, she was always like, isn't it great?

Speaker 86 Isn't it great? It reminds me. I love it.

Speaker 82 She was like, isn't it great?

Speaker 82 We drink water too.

Speaker 143 I love that.

Speaker 159 Think about how great it was.

Speaker 82 There's something that's just so great about it.

Speaker 137 You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 No, I have a basic bitch, like white girl, Stanley, that I love because I like to sip it like a gerbil. Like I like the straw.

Speaker 114 This is the second episode in a row that gerbils have come up.

Speaker 23 Ooh.

Speaker 81 There's something in the culture about gerbils.

Speaker 23 Like there's guinea pigs,

Speaker 97 oh shit.

Speaker 42 Guinea pigs. What's the last time?

Speaker 156 Rodents at large are having a moment.

Speaker 148 Right.

Speaker 106 No, but that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 85 Is like when I was growing up, there was not water on the table.

Speaker 106 I'll tell you what there was.

Speaker 82 Never.

Speaker 106 A Coke, a Diet Coke, and a Sprite, two liters each.

Speaker 1 Don't forget about milk, babe.

Speaker 150 I was just going to say,

Speaker 104 we shared this thing.

Speaker 80 We came up when milk was king.

Speaker 82 You were not getting osteoporosis, that's for sure.

Speaker 133 You would chug a glass of milk.

Speaker 175 at least once a day.

Speaker 128 They said two.

Speaker 78 There was a time they were saying two.

Speaker 71 It was like Cindy Crawford on the cover of whatever the fuck with her got milk mustache being like, if it's not two, you're going to die of osteoporosis.

Speaker 154 And one of the things I remember my Nana saying to me when I was little was she looked me in the eye and said, osteoporosis is not fun.

Speaker 90 And I was, I'm like, and now I'm scared.

Speaker 7 And where is that in the culture now?

Speaker 82 Like, have we just forgotten about osteoporosis?

Speaker 1 Not only have we not forgotten about it, but as a woman of that age, all my friends are getting bone density tests. Girls.

Speaker 1 Dexa scams. And we are, and everything is coming home to boost because a couple of things.
You get, I didn't know this, you get all your calcium before the age of 30. Number one.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Number two, if you are fair skinned like myself, you don't get enough sun, you don't get enough vitamin D, vitamin D, you should be taking it.

Speaker 174 You're pretty screwed.

Speaker 93 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You guys might be okay.

Speaker 82 I know.

Speaker 1 But, but, and also, there's these things in LA that I'm obsessed with that I want to go to, to, which are like,

Speaker 1 they're, they're like salons for people who have osteopenia, which is pre-osteoporosis, where you just, you know, you have to do heavy lifting now. Like now I have to lift weights.

Speaker 1 So you have to do a lot of weight.

Speaker 46 You have to get your bone density together. Yes.

Speaker 1 And so you have to take your calcium and you have to do weights. And so there's like programs where it's like, you do leg presses, you do whatever.

Speaker 1 And it's just designed for women my age who are smart enough to get their bone density tests. And they're like, I have a little bit of, you know, know, osteopenia in my hips.
I need to do leg presses.

Speaker 125 Wow.

Speaker 1 So to, I know a lot about osteoporosis.

Speaker 80 They're penea clubs.

Speaker 1 There's penea and osis

Speaker 1 or penia and porosis. So one is pre, one is you got it.
Yeah. And there's things you can do, but you kind of like, you know, we're, our bones stop growing at like 18 or so.

Speaker 93 Yeah.

Speaker 139 They, well, I, I, when I started working out like more seriously a few months ago, my trainer literally said, it's great that you start now because at 35, your bone density is completely gone.

Speaker 61 And then by 37, you lose any metabolism you ever had.

Speaker 140 And I was just like going cross-eyed like, oh no.

Speaker 1 It's wild that as a woman, you go through being like

Speaker 1 a sex object and then maybe a mother and then maybe like

Speaker 1 menopause. And then they're like, and on your way out, you need to eat 45 grams of protein a day and lift very heavy weights or your, all your bones will break.

Speaker 72 If you don't turn into a monster now.

Speaker 78 It's like you got and you're like what what you're like this can't be true i can't i have to go to the gym and lift the heaviest i've ever lifted hey what if we shuffled the order what if you started off low bone density yeah then you become a sex style or no i think it'd be fun to end on sex style

Speaker 145 incredible then

Speaker 1 that would be incredible i mean things are changing but you know you can you do i'm sure you can do push-ups right how so

Speaker 1 they say women need to be able to do like 10 or 11 push-ups real push-ups a day and you got just like okay well I'll try it's hard are you saying these are clubs specifically for osteopathic they're like penic women yeah they're like physical therapy that sounds like heaven I agree because my age I'm the youngest oldest person I see and that you like 30s and 40s yes okay 30s and 40s are a little tricky because you're like I'm not as young as I used to be but I I don't feel old.

Speaker 1 And nobody, like, old people dismiss you. They're like, you're 30, whatever.
Like, you know, but when you're in your 50s,

Speaker 133 you're not young, right?

Speaker 1 And young people do not think you're young. No way.
50 is like a nightmare to them that wakes them up in the middle of the night.

Speaker 1 But you feel young, and old people are like,

Speaker 1 so you're the youngest, oldest person.

Speaker 73 I'm going to say, and please, please shut me up if this sounds patronizing in any way. I feel like this current crop of somethings is still aspirational to me oh agree

Speaker 119 i would rather be living your life honest to god i would rather be going to bloomingdales and museums and things every day on tour than the bullshit that 30 30 year olds we just did that we had that moment we were we were in berlin we went to burgheim and we were there we got we went like saturday at 2 a.m thinking there was going to be a line no we we we soared in there like had a time we had with friends, we acquaintances we have have been in that club for 48 hours.

Speaker 80 Yeah, you know, people that have been there for days, like, let's see how long we last.

Speaker 79 We left after hour four.

Speaker 130 It was like maybe five or six, and it wasn't because it was just like not, it was, it was great.

Speaker 177 We were the best time, but we were like, oh, you know what?

Speaker 72 We'll go home, we'll catch some Z's, we'll come back later.

Speaker 116 I text Bowen.

Speaker 61 I'm like, can I say something?

Speaker 143 What if we didn't go back?

Speaker 139 What if, and then we walked to a museum and walked back because we realized we had to pay.

Speaker 174 So, what did we do that afternoon?

Speaker 158 We walked to the museum and walked back, didn't even go into the museum.

Speaker 1 I'm here to tell you that if you enjoy that now, the future is very bright.

Speaker 145 Oh, I'm happy.

Speaker 1 Because best decade yet for me, 50s by far, best decade, way better.

Speaker 1 And also, I have to say, to your point, Bowen, like women my age or the age in our 50s, it used to be kind of like maiden mother crone. Those were the

Speaker 142 maiden mother crone.

Speaker 81 Right.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 now I think that we've managed to carve out,

Speaker 1 our generation, my generation has carved out a step before crone.

Speaker 1 And it's kind of like, I'm calling it like boss or something, but it's some stage before you become like the wise witch,

Speaker 1 where you are allowed to actually like,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Speaker 152 Yeah.

Speaker 1 not be so beholden to like um external validation and you still like feel good i think it's just a full supplanting of crone

Speaker 1 like well there is i kind of what crone means

Speaker 1 is like wisdom and um you know like medicine woman but it's it's a tough word crone is it's a tough word it's a tough word but it's a word that i associate with sex in the city

Speaker 81 because there's the theory that they each represent the four crones and like classical

Speaker 123 i didn't know there were classical crones there were there's like the four crones and they're were like is it Shakespeare's crone?

Speaker 82 No.

Speaker 65 Oh, yeah, it might be Shakespeare.

Speaker 66 They're like, yeah, Shakespeare's crone's wise women.

Speaker 66 No one knew.

Speaker 96 No one knew.

Speaker 82 They didn't have the words for it back then, Amy.

Speaker 82 He was always bloated and shitting his brain.

Speaker 1 We should call it like

Speaker 1 medicine woman. Medicine woman.

Speaker 66 Diva. Diva.

Speaker 130 Wait, Diva is this extra step that you're talking about.

Speaker 148 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 132 It's literally Diva.

Speaker 179 Yes.

Speaker 82 Yeah.

Speaker 119 I'm wondering something about you you too, though, about like you being like, can't wait to get to Bloomingdale's.

Speaker 103 But you guys also share the fact that for a long time you guys did entertainment's most difficult job.

Speaker 94 So did you feel like that socially also was like after that on the other side of that, you were like, okay, you also had the kids.

Speaker 1 But I didn't have kids when I was at SNL and I cannot believe the way I socialized. Like SNL is such.
crazy extroverted social job.

Speaker 1 You see hundreds of people like during the week and then you have to do the show and then you have to host the host.

Speaker 66 Yeah, you're hosting the host.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Then you have to go to the party, which I know is like, oh, go to a party, but it is still a work function.

Speaker 1 Even as fun as it is. And I cannot believe like it is so much energy.

Speaker 82 Yes.

Speaker 1 That I can't believe I did it. I really, and I'm glad that I was younger when I did it.

Speaker 140 I'll just never forget because I told you this when we first met, but I was there.

Speaker 106 I was a standby kid.

Speaker 9 So I would wait on the standby lines and I would go.

Speaker 119 And then i'll never forget i believe it was the episode um that ann hathaway hosted with the killers which we talked to seth about this episode and that was the very first lawrence welk show and then a couple weeks later on the weekend update thursday you did the palin rap like nine months pregnant right and i have never forgotten how Herculean that was of you doing that.

Speaker 130 Like, that has to feel like a highlight of doing that show.

Speaker 46 Yeah.

Speaker 78 Like with carrying your child almost to full full term, like barking out that song next to

Speaker 132 this figure in culture.

Speaker 46 Like, and I'll just, I, that was, it felt like a lightning bolt had hit this, the, the studio at that moment.

Speaker 1 Thank you. That was really fun.
Really fun. It had to be fun.
And very exciting. And just kind of felt, yeah, it felt like there was a feeling during that whole time.

Speaker 1 Remember when we thought that was a crazy election?

Speaker 1 But, um, but like there was a feeling that whole time of just the audience was really paying attention everything was and when you're really pregnant giant pregnant you have a ton of power because people are a little worried for you but you also you know and so we had a lot of fun with it like me and emily spyby we wrote a scene about me knocking things over yeah um emily was also pregnant during the during that time too and there was just this feeling you know it's kind of like chekhov's gun like is she going to give birth like

Speaker 96 was it the episode was it josh brolin that hosted where it it was just you moving over to him in a bar?

Speaker 118 It was just Amy pregnant as a friend.

Speaker 1 Yes, and he was really into me.

Speaker 133 Yeah.

Speaker 159 He was so sweet. Here comes little lady.

Speaker 1 That was the same episode. That was the Josh Brolin episode.

Speaker 91 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And Sarah Palin just came on update. And she was a really good sport.
And she was like, okay, sure, I'll just dance next to you. And I remember thinking,

Speaker 1 I wonder if her team has really told her what this is, but that's okay. We're going to do it.
We're going to, and I think my pregnancy helped.

Speaker 1 Like, it was like, like, how do you, how can you say no to the lady? Right.

Speaker 1 And it was so, it was thrilling at the moment. It was really fun.
Yeah. It was really fun.
And then I gave birth like,

Speaker 1 let's see, maybe like four or five days later.

Speaker 144 Yes, I remember.

Speaker 173 And we said that on update.

Speaker 72 It was like, Amy's not here because she's having a baby.

Speaker 101 And that was the first John Hamm episode.

Speaker 93 Yes.

Speaker 82 Full circle. That's right.

Speaker 142 Just at the show.

Speaker 1 And Ham was the host.

Speaker 116 I mean, the millionth craziest thing about that episode, which was the Josh Brollen one, is that the musical guest was Adele, fully Adele, like pre-like

Speaker 122 pre-like Adele.

Speaker 146 Oh, like chasing pavements.

Speaker 64 Chasing pavements.

Speaker 84 Yes.

Speaker 155 And then I remember she won Best New Artist a couple of months later.

Speaker 107 And I was like, well, yeah, probably because everyone in the world was watching that episode.

Speaker 103 And they were like, who the hell is she?

Speaker 145 She's incredible.

Speaker 78 Right.

Speaker 161 That was a night of culture.

Speaker 135 And you were at that show. I was.

Speaker 103 I went to all of them.

Speaker 140 I was, I was addicted.

Speaker 117 And I, again, I told you this, but it was the very first time I had ever gotten in.

Speaker 70 And I was like, there was this feeling like, I don't know that I, that it's this that I have to do, but I have to do something like this.

Speaker 175 And I was like very lost.

Speaker 28 So I went back to my dorm room and sat on my bed and like tearfully, because I wanted it so bad, like Googled you because you were the person I respected the most.

Speaker 140 And then I saw that you had started UCB.

Speaker 119 And that you were in your improv group at your school.

Speaker 70 So I was like in my head, I was like, I'm definitely interesting for the improv group and the sketch group, which is ultimately what I got in and started doing UCB.

Speaker 107 And it was because I googled your name that night because of me going to those shows.

Speaker 1 So nice. Thank you for saying that.

Speaker 81 I mean, you have to know the impact that you've had on a generation of people, obviously, because it's true, but also, like, it's, it's just such a very real thing, especially I think on gay men.

Speaker 99 Like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 64 Absolutely.

Speaker 86 Oh, you must understand this.

Speaker 1 Well, I, thank you for saying that. I sometimes feel like I have more gay women that I get that feedback from, which I appreciate, but not, but, but that's nice of you to say gay men.

Speaker 73 The men, I think

Speaker 73 just, I don't know, the men respond to this thing where like

Speaker 123 you are just being like your, your full powerful self on TV.

Speaker 17 And that is something that like, we kind of have to like go about sideways in media sometimes.

Speaker 15 And we will eat our own sometimes.

Speaker 105 And so like, it's, I feel like you do figure very, very largely in that, in that sense.

Speaker 1 Wow. That means a lot.
That's a high compliment. i mean i feel like for me the biggest thing that

Speaker 1 culturally that um i get a lot of feedback from from especially from gay men is meet girls oh like that

Speaker 1 that feels like especially for the millennials felt like their version of how to interact with me more i think than s and l and parks i don't know but yeah i was i was gonna bring i was gonna bring up strons and fair child oh

Speaker 64 you write write the outfit?

Speaker 82 There are certain press interviews that you guys did for that that I watched a million times.

Speaker 82 That was really fun.

Speaker 1 Those were like when movies, like when they were,

Speaker 1 it was just like money, money, money, money. Movies, movies, movies.
I know. And here's a fun story about that.

Speaker 1 Will and Arnett and I played brother and sister, but we were actually married in real life. And we, um, they tested that movie.
And the testing, they were like, we hate Strahn's and Fairchild.

Speaker 65 They're the villains.

Speaker 66 What do you mean? They're the villains.

Speaker 1 Right. And I remember the info coming back, like,

Speaker 1 a lot of people don't really like the, and we were like, well, we're the villains, you know, but, but to, to the director's credit, they, I think they kept a lot of it in, but that was really, but yeah, we did tons of photo shoots and that was really big.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

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Speaker 88 At that point, we had already been like used to a Will Farrell big comedy movie.

Speaker 123 And John Heater, obviously huge, like big moment for him.

Speaker 149 But I was just so tickled.

Speaker 5 as like a comedy person watching SNL every week, as someone who was like scrolling like the writing credits for The Simpsons, like we were like those kids.

Speaker 212 um like it was just thrilling to see you and will in a film like that and i will always always remember just you as marilyn and him as jfk like

Speaker 134 also also first of all i was walking in today i was like who am i dressed like and i was like i'm dressed like will and knight of the rocks berry oh my god yeah

Speaker 1 i have a i have a yes i'm paying homage funny story about that movie we had to learn how to ice skate. Right.
And I knew enough to know, I'm not going to be doing a ton of ice skating this movie.

Speaker 1 You know, they had incredible body doubles and face switcheroo

Speaker 1 technology. And they had really good ice skaters having to do things.
And I knew, I was like, I think if I could just fake it from the waist up, I'll be fine.

Speaker 96 You went like this at one point.

Speaker 67 It was just like the fact that it was so restraint.

Speaker 64 I loved it. I love you.

Speaker 1 But they had an incredible professional, like ex-Olympian ice dancer, coach, performer coaching me.

Speaker 1 Again, it was a time when movies were like, you're going to have to, we're going to, and I was on SNL. Yeah.
And so on the weekends and in the mornings, I would have to go to Chelsea Piers

Speaker 1 and ice skate. And I remember she was this really, I'm sorry, I forget her name.
If you're listening, you were awesome.

Speaker 1 But I would do that thing that I learned early when I wanted someone to not do something where I would just, I would, she would sit, we'd have our coffee in the morning. I knew we only had an hour.

Speaker 1 The clock would be behind her.

Speaker 1 And I'd be like, wait, what's going on with you?

Speaker 1 And she'd go, well, we have to get out on the ice. And I go, I know, I know, I know.
We have to, we have to try.

Speaker 1 I'd be like, but how is your daughter?

Speaker 64 And I would try to get her to talk and the clock would just tick away.

Speaker 143 And I'd be like, I know.

Speaker 1 Jeez, because

Speaker 1 it was so hard to learn.

Speaker 82 You were bone tired between shows.

Speaker 1 Bone tired. And also,

Speaker 1 I knew it. I knew I didn't have to know it that way.
Exactly.

Speaker 161 You're like,

Speaker 85 it's going to be this.

Speaker 80 It's going to be.

Speaker 167 It's going to be waist up.

Speaker 1 We're going to be on wire.

Speaker 92 It's going to be Marilyn with the pen.

Speaker 1 And I'm never going to get it. Yeah.
And at one point, she said to me,

Speaker 1 you know, if at any point something's hurting, make sure you tell me to stop. We were like practicing.

Speaker 64 Well, I was like, I will. Yeah.
I was like, I am not an athlete.

Speaker 82 Like, I'm not going to play through the pain.

Speaker 152 Yeah, no. I am not trying to get a medal here.

Speaker 65 No, no, no.

Speaker 1 So I can kind of ice skate, but not that well.

Speaker 95 Did you do sports in high school?

Speaker 1 I was. I was like, did a bunch of sports moderately well.

Speaker 82 Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 Like, good trash talker, like out on the field, played softball, played soccer, like a little basketball. Like, just kind of was like, like the mouth.

Speaker 141 But the utopia energy is something that I would, I would ascribe to you.

Speaker 1 Thank you. I was really good at keeping the team up.
There you go. And really good at like knowing where the play is.
Like a lot of like plays a second, you know, like that.

Speaker 1 But not, didn't really have the skill. Small, didn't really have an arm.

Speaker 143 You're talking about softball?

Speaker 1 Yes. And it's amazing that I'm not gay because every picture of me during that time looks kind of gay.
The cutest like little baby lesbian.

Speaker 1 But we all did back then.

Speaker 142 We all did in many ways.

Speaker 82 Right.

Speaker 1 But like not a jock. Yeah.
Right. And then she was a cheerleader sometimes too.
Just kind of a floater to use a me and girls term.

Speaker 74 No, that's great because I feel like there's something about young people now where they are struggling with finding people, just socializing in general.

Speaker 100 It's a COVID thing.

Speaker 76 It's like what you want to tell them is like, oh, is it like an osteoporosis thing?

Speaker 131 Like you eat, it's like a calcium thing.

Speaker 102 You have to start early and like get the, get the, the whole sportsman thing going.

Speaker 103 I think to, to be in, to learn how to collaborate in any way, I think it's important to be, not to do sports, but to be involved in activities like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I just think, I don't know, it was a different time where you could be okay at softball and play in your local softball league for a long time.

Speaker 1 But now you have to be like on a traveling team and it's very intense. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 91 And parents are involved.

Speaker 1 Parents have ruined a lot of things. Like when parents show up, they kind of ruin things.
And my generation, my parents, no one went to anyone's game. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Occasionally went to a game, but there were no like adults taking things over. Everything was a little less stressful.
You could try a bunch of things and it wasn't necessarily your identity. Right.

Speaker 73 I imagine you have not been dom parent in that context with your kids.

Speaker 1 I feel like I'm trying not to be.

Speaker 124 I feel like you're not showing up to the things that in a way that is like kind of all right.

Speaker 1 It's it is some people, it's their identity, right? Right. Like they're living through their kids, I guess.
But, um, which I, I mean, you have to be supportive.

Speaker 38 How old are your kids now?

Speaker 1 They're 14 and 16.

Speaker 154 Okay, those are, yeah, you got teen boys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I love teens.

Speaker 84 You breaking towels in half?

Speaker 1 I love teens.

Speaker 160 I'm here to say it.

Speaker 137 Stop gross.

Speaker 90 Don't tell me that I'm gross.

Speaker 82 But those boys are gross. Stop it.

Speaker 145 I love teens.

Speaker 148 I know what they do.

Speaker 1 I love teens. I'm here to say the teen years have my favorite years.

Speaker 159 Are they?

Speaker 86 Like, is it because they're kind of like riding hard for you right now?

Speaker 1 They're just like interesting people.

Speaker 1 And also their friends are kind of interesting. And you're like, this is like the black diamond of parenting.
This is where it's coming in and you're having big conversations. They're making choices.

Speaker 1 You're trying to keep them safe. It's people like focus on the little, the young'ins, like the baby stuff and the young'ins, but I don't know.
There's something, I think I'm good with teens.

Speaker 133 Yeah.

Speaker 76 It's black diamond.

Speaker 74 It's moguls, moguls, moguls, moguls.

Speaker 99 Got to either, either right on top or right around.

Speaker 178 Is this tied to, because I've always thought of you as this aspirational TikTok person because I'm like, well,

Speaker 76 I need to get on TikTok because I feel like

Speaker 101 there are people out there like Amy Pole who are like, it's cool.

Speaker 81 I like it.

Speaker 1 But I feel like you were on TikTok almost first when you were lip-syncing. And then you came in, you dominated, and then you like left.

Speaker 180 Yeah, but you know what?

Speaker 106 That wasn't TikTok.

Speaker 143 We were so ahead of the curve on Instagram.

Speaker 1 That was Instagram.

Speaker 85 We had so many viral things.

Speaker 76 Pre-TikTok things that would have taken off on TikTok.

Speaker 74 Now, I know this sounds so cloying and obnoxious, but it's true. Like Matt and I would like start like song like

Speaker 82 cartoons. Yeah.
We would start

Speaker 7 TikTok songs, bear people, if you know what we're talking about.

Speaker 97 You know, you know, you know, Four Nights in Orlando, which was our American horror story.

Speaker 90 Um, every episode was 15 seconds.

Speaker 108 Every episode was 15 seconds long in Orlando.

Speaker 103 We would go, we would be on about a metric ton of uh edibles and we would shoot like horror anthologies at Disney World.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 93 It's out there.

Speaker 175 It is out there.

Speaker 80 If you go deep in the Instagrams, they are there.

Speaker 91 But we what was the horror anthology called?

Speaker 92 Four Nights in Orlando.

Speaker 84 And then it was like, it was like Four Nights in Orlando, Hotel.

Speaker 122 Four Nights in Orlando, Gay Ghost, Four Nights in Orlando, Witch War, Witch War was our best one.

Speaker 171 We always say that was the most satisfying one when you watched it all together.

Speaker 151 And also, you could see so many users.

Speaker 1 And you can't find that. You can't put that back out on TikTok.

Speaker 85 No, I tried, and it didn't really.

Speaker 1 And, you know, Las Culturistas is huge on TikTok.

Speaker 78 Right, but that's. We do pretty good.

Speaker 105 That's our lovely social team.

Speaker 76 I feel like we could put it back on TikTok, but there would just be that 2014 patina on it where you'd be like, ew, I don't want to watch anything from that time.

Speaker 1 I feel like

Speaker 1 more and more, I mean, even starting this podcast is a good example of that. I'm getting a little less worried about whether or not my timing is right.

Speaker 159 It's okay.

Speaker 96 Yeah, no, you can't worry about that.

Speaker 1 I feel like if you want to do it, I feel like you can do whatever you want.

Speaker 82 That's if you want to.

Speaker 1 If you don't want to do it, certainly don't.

Speaker 151 Right.

Speaker 1 You can do whatever you want anytime you want.

Speaker 86 It's fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it should only be fun.

Speaker 83 It is fun.

Speaker 139 And there was a time when I was even doing like the challenges. Yeah.

Speaker 99 Like I just looked through it and it was, it's just like me one time i did a totally earnest tick tock to taylor swift song paris it was earnest it was it was so it was

Speaker 82 we're post cringe we're posting

Speaker 1 well we climb cringe mountain have you heard about this it's so major once you climb cringe mountain then you get to the other side and you're in nirvana oh yeah i mean that's where the power lies is post cringe i mean you learn that with comedy a lot you know you have to just you can't be embarrassed like do you have the moment in your career that you're like this i climbed cringe mountain at this point oh yeah a cringe mountain is far behind me.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I don't worry about that at all because basically you survive a ton of embarrassments, like death by a thousand cuts.
You just realize, I'm okay. It's okay.

Speaker 1 And then you realize that like, actually, the. The longer in your career, you should be taking more risks and trying new things.
And you should be like a little nervous and a little excited.

Speaker 1 And the minute you are afraid about being cool, you're screwed.

Speaker 145 You're totally screwed.

Speaker 92 It's so true.

Speaker 84 And it stops you doing things.

Speaker 1 It does. And everyone is so obsessed with themselves.
I would so much rather somebody be a little tender

Speaker 1 and make a cringy mistake than the opposite. When people are really cool, I'm like, oh, honey.
Like when they're trying to be very cool,

Speaker 1 I get so stressed for them.

Speaker 87 I know, I know. It's very difficult.

Speaker 1 It's not easy. It's not easy out there.

Speaker 134 Right.

Speaker 1 But it's the same way with like hosts at SNL, like a host that will come in and will be like kind of open-faced sandwich. She'd be like, I'm nervous or whatever.
Like, I'm going to try.

Speaker 1 And they'd give your sketch there all. And you're like, I love you forever.

Speaker 143 Yes.

Speaker 1 But when somebody is trying to be cool, you're like, hmm,

Speaker 73 I can think of the people.

Speaker 1 And the coolness, you know, it's so, it's a protective shell. So you kind of feel for them.
We've all been there, but it is, it's so fleet. Like, what is what is cool, right? Right.

Speaker 139 It's not defined.

Speaker 82 It actually never was.

Speaker 1 I mean, you guys do kind of define it in the book.

Speaker 1 You do. Amazing.
Guys, you do kind of define it. And why I'm going to say this: the reason why you define it is because your list is about not being cool.

Speaker 81 Right.

Speaker 1 But it is the coolest list in the world.

Speaker 178 It takes the piss out of the list in the first place.

Speaker 1 Yes. And it reminds you that, like, we're all like, we're all like dumb humans.

Speaker 8 We're dumb.

Speaker 155 Do you want to know what it was?

Speaker 86 I think for me in high school, I don't know about you. Did you guys have friends that made fun of you constantly in high school?

Speaker 19 Like, I, I allowed myself to be the butt of the joke a lot.

Speaker 84 They made fun of me for the way I held a fork.

Speaker 213 They made fun of me for the way I wore a hat. They made fun of me because I couldn't see colors.

Speaker 38 Like, I was constantly getting ribbed on by my friends.

Speaker 144 And I think it made me realize, like, well, I'm not cool and shouldn't try.

Speaker 155 And then years later, someone, I remember someone said, yeah, you're a cool person.

Speaker 86 Like, people think that.

Speaker 96 And I was just like, I don't, I don't think, and don't tell me that because that will get me in my head.

Speaker 19 I think the key is just like always being surrounded by people who are a little bit like this.

Speaker 96 Yeah. And I hit I just

Speaker 76 do that all the time, Matt.

Speaker 157 That's the main language.

Speaker 122 You need people to rib you.

Speaker 1 Well, I think it's a very East Coast thing, too.

Speaker 46 I would agree.

Speaker 1 It's a very East Coast thing like the more i like you the more i'll tease you yeah it's like it is like a safety thing i mean with within a reason like you don't want to be bullied no don't hurt my feeling um manners are for people we don't know okay yes you know what that was actually an unspoken thing especially with my my first ever like ensemble i ever felt like i was a part of was my like friend group in high school yeah and our thing was we always pip took the ripped the shit out of yeah

Speaker 1 there's nothing more satisfying than when you can tease someone with love yeah and And they tease you back and you're like, oh, we're safe. Like, this is intimacy.

Speaker 84 Is that how you and your friends are?

Speaker 1 Yes, that was Boston all the way.

Speaker 190 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 70 And then through SNL as well.

Speaker 90 Yes.

Speaker 1 Like even hard, like, because when you tease someone the right way, it also means that you see them.

Speaker 125 Yes.

Speaker 81 Like you feel seen. Right.

Speaker 1 Like the most delightful thing when someone can, like, you know, no, you're like talking about someone. You're like, I'm so tired.

Speaker 144 And someone's like, you are.

Speaker 64 We couldn't tell.

Speaker 1 You know, like, you're like, like, you just feel so like delighted.

Speaker 67 Teams, I'm tired all the time.

Speaker 80 But are you downloading this into the boys at all?

Speaker 1 I'm trying to. Like, I think, I'm trying to just kind of, but you know, here's the thing about teens.
They don't want to be twice. No downloading.
No downloading. You go from producer to consultant.

Speaker 1 And that is not my line. That is someone else's line.
Someone else said that. But you go from

Speaker 1 handling your kids' life over like and scheduling their play dates and getting their stuff and getting like and making their lunch, all the stuff that's like you're in charge to being like,

Speaker 1 I know you didn't ask me, but what I would do is you have to just stand back. You can't, you almost can't tell them

Speaker 16 anything.

Speaker 1 Right, right, right. Just think about it when your parents would say something at that age, it would just be like, shut up.
So you, you, you do the, I don't know, there's a really good technique.

Speaker 1 I'm super into it. It works for people too, but where you just repeat back to them what they said to you.

Speaker 146 So

Speaker 1 I hate my, I hate my teacher. You hate your teacher.
Yeah, because she doesn't listen to us and she's always like giving us assignments.

Speaker 1 We don't like, she's always giving you assignments, you know, like, yeah, you just don't say.

Speaker 80 And you don't, and it kind of keeps pulling the thread until it loses pulling the thread.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 143 they

Speaker 1 talk to you and they're not looking for you to fix it and certainly not to give advice.

Speaker 82 No.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, what you should do or, you know, teachers are really like, you know, they're working really hard these days or whatever. They just want to say it to you.

Speaker 5 Even adults don't want to be told.

Speaker 1 Agree. I did it for the a year.
I was trying a thing where I would only give advice to people that asked for it.

Speaker 64 And no one

Speaker 64 asked for it.

Speaker 82 You know what's funny? I'm

Speaker 65 ever asking for it.

Speaker 72 And I still have friends.

Speaker 140 There are certain friends, and I feel like it's conversations I have to have where it's like, I haven't realized it will be really easy to change a dynamic in our friendship if I just tell them, I don't need advice.

Speaker 56 I think, I think I have a therapist for that.

Speaker 161 Like, I don't need

Speaker 92 prescription.

Speaker 213 Yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 130 It's like when people give me prescription, it, it's, it's, I'm not good anymore.

Speaker 56 At maybe at a certain point, I was when I felt like we were all like in our 20s or something and figuring it out, but it's like, I, I do sometimes just need to externalize my feelings.

Speaker 78 Because maybe it's because I've realized how well therapy works.

Speaker 16 Cause what you're talking about is a therapy technique.

Speaker 140 All your therapist does is facilitate you speaking to yourself.

Speaker 90 Right.

Speaker 103 And then you hear it and you're like, huh, I've heard it out loud finally.

Speaker 111 It's Brene Brown walk alongside.

Speaker 75 Not like, not like face the person and say, this is what you should do.

Speaker 74 It's like they just want to be told that meme of, hey, I'm not reading all that.

Speaker 212 I'm so happy for you.

Speaker 121 Or I'm sorry that happened.

Speaker 73 They just want to be told, great, or I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 And the other side of that is I'm really egotistical about my advice. I think I have great advice.

Speaker 1 So I not only don't want advice that I don't ask for, but I like to offer advice that nobody asked for. And then I get a little butthurt when they don't take it.

Speaker 133 Right.

Speaker 1 I'm like, you didn't take my advice? Like, that's solid gold advice.

Speaker 1 And then my therapist was like, why are you giving advice to people that don't ask for it? That's precious advice that you can't just give out willy-nilly.

Speaker 1 Like, be respectful of your own advice.

Speaker 108 Yeah.

Speaker 143 Value it.

Speaker 91 You can value it.

Speaker 1 And you can even say, like,

Speaker 1 are you open to advice? And if they say yes, you go, you know, if I give it, do you think you'll, this advice means something to me? Would it mean something?

Speaker 142 It's like a lot.

Speaker 74 Can we, can we ask you for, like, do you have any advice for us?

Speaker 82 Give us advice.

Speaker 82 My God, I have such little advice for you.

Speaker 79 No, no, come on, tell us.

Speaker 133 Okay, in what, in what area?

Speaker 1 Can you ask something specifically about just life advice?

Speaker 78 I want like.

Speaker 105 All of these things at SNL that I feel like I are not compatible in terms of like lifestyle things of like dating and like having a dog and like all of these things.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 155 Maybe the advice is, the advice is it's just wait it out until you finish one thing.

Speaker 1 Also, you're so ahead of the game by realizing it's something that you want. Oh, like I think just even knowing what you want, you're ahead of the game.
Life is an arrow pointing you to what you want.

Speaker 1 So like by not getting it, you're like, oh, I'm really missing that. I want that.
That's interesting. That's, oh, thank you, SNL, for pointing the arrow to what I want.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I think my advice would be try to imagine that it's not binary. It's not like you either have it or you don't.
You can't have it there. You can't.

Speaker 1 Like the can't, the can'ts and shouldn't and maybe nots isn't like, there's like, there's a lot of space in between that not being a place where you could have it and a place where you could have it.

Speaker 21 I'm receiving that. Thank you.

Speaker 69 Mine's really specific.

Speaker 115 I need like a moving company.

Speaker 82 Oh, I have a great one.

Speaker 94 I need like some people to

Speaker 64 fuck some stuff up.

Speaker 136 Very good.

Speaker 1 So, my advice there would be: don't lift a finger.

Speaker 64 You have, you have right here.

Speaker 1 We have a, you have enough. You're doing well.
You have enough money. You know, thank God.
Very lucky. Take your privilege and get somebody.

Speaker 160 We ran through my bank account before we started.

Speaker 84 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 82 She knows all my financial stuff.

Speaker 142 I made sure that.

Speaker 1 Get somebody to pack everything up for you.

Speaker 1 But do one pass and go through and grab anything, a document, anything that you would sob over if it was lost. Yeah.
I mean, sob, not like, I love this chair, I love this bait, whatever.

Speaker 1 Like, go through and go, if this got

Speaker 1 thrown in the ocean by accident, would it ruin my life? Right. Get those things out, everything else, let them pack it for you.

Speaker 148 Wow.

Speaker 139 You know what's crazy is I'm realizing that stuff is less and less and less.

Speaker 167 Stuff means less to me.

Speaker 214 Even like sentimental things, which I felt like, oh, shouldn't they mean more to me over time?

Speaker 155 I think as I get older, I realize just things are things.

Speaker 155 It's bizarre.

Speaker 95 Like we were doing, playing this game

Speaker 117 at Coachella the night before the festival.

Speaker 141 We were doing like the newlywed game with each other.

Speaker 69 And one of the questions was, it was for me to answer.

Speaker 70 What would he grab if he had to grab one thing if the house was like, you know, it was an earthquake on fire, whatever is a disaster?

Speaker 147 And I sat there and couldn't think of one thing I could say.

Speaker 96 And then everyone was like, my dog, Bill, my partner, David.

Speaker 84 And I was like, oh, I guess it's just because I don't have any of those like real things.

Speaker 103 I was like, and I wrote down a lot of phone chargers.

Speaker 82 I just would grab all the chargers because you never can have enough.

Speaker 1 But that's good. You might not be attached to things.
That's very healthy.

Speaker 86 Maybe I'm not. I don't know.

Speaker 154 I think that is changing about.

Speaker 82 That's good.

Speaker 1 That's very good. There's a thing called Swedish death cleaning.
I produced a show about it, which is all about that. Swedish death cleaning.

Speaker 1 The gentle art of Swedish death cleaning, which is the Swedes believe one of the things that you can do for your family is you can clear out your stuff before you die.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, they want less stuff. Right.
And why not give your stuff away while you're still vital and alive and tell people why it means something to you so they can get to know you.

Speaker 1 Cause what happens in the States is people die, they leave all the stuff, then you go through your like grandfather's papers and you're like, he was, you know, he, he played the tuba.

Speaker 1 Like, I didn't even know or whatever. And so let people know you while you're alive, but it's all about minimizing and getting rid of stuff.
And so maybe you're kind of doing that along the way.

Speaker 78 Yeah, maybe Swedish. Is your brother still there?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he lives in Sweden. Oh,

Speaker 64 I know. So cool.

Speaker 101 There was a SmartGirl thing where he was just playing basketball and I was like, that seems like a cool dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my brother is the coolest. He's a really funny writer and performer.
And he moved to Sweden. He met a woman who lived in Sweden.
They got married. They had a kid.
And now he's been there.

Speaker 1 God, it must be almost 20 years. He's like a full expat.
He lives outside of Stockholm and like speaks Swedish. I know it's so cool.

Speaker 116 I'm really trying to find a husband with another passport.

Speaker 69 Like, I do think it's time.

Speaker 1 It's time.

Speaker 122 Like, and weirdly enough, like, this is a pattern.

Speaker 70 I've been going out with a lot of guys that, like, weirdly are also from another country and are sober.

Speaker 137 Ooh, I like that for you.

Speaker 66 That's really good for you.

Speaker 82 I like that.

Speaker 71 I don't even, I'm not even trying to date like sober guys, and I'm not trying to date guys with like dual citizenship, but like, it keeps happening.

Speaker 1 What, no, what, what country would you like to, let's just put it out there?

Speaker 138 I mean, I guess like Canada or England.

Speaker 64 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 137 There are people.

Speaker 65 There are people. There are people out there.

Speaker 78 Listen, I'm talking specifically to people that live in Toronto and London, I suppose.

Speaker 155 I just, we were in London and it was so great.

Speaker 1 Right, but be careful with that London weather.

Speaker 152 That's all I got to say. Okay.

Speaker 1 That London weather is like Sweden. It is dark.
It is a dark, cold country. So just be aware.

Speaker 103 I do well with the overcast.

Speaker 119 You know what I mean? Like, it's, I don't really.

Speaker 65 You're right. You're not a sunboy.

Speaker 133 You're not a sunburst.

Speaker 117 I'm definitely a sunboy, but like, I've had enough of it.

Speaker 135 It's like I grew up on Long Island and I'm like a child of the beach and the sun yeah so now i'm kind of like maybe i've had enough like for my life i love a uk guy for you i think so with a scarf and everything i don't know about the scarf

Speaker 118 you don't like the scarf i could throw a scarf i still

Speaker 175 scarf like a scarf and a like an overcoat overcoat certainly I see when you said scarf, my mind went to ascot and I do see

Speaker 107 when I say I do see some people out there trying to bring back the ascot and I'm not ready for that.

Speaker 64 That's okay. That's

Speaker 1 like a winter, like a Jude law winter look like a like a um uh what's the guy's name i love a winter look you know um the guy that did all the movie like a richard curtis jude like coming in from the cold we met at the oscars we did meet richards richard curtis at the oscars oh that was special just a gentleman like shaking off the snow off an overcoat yes oh that's good okay now i'm like upset that it's going to be spring and summer because my favorite time to date is the fall and the winter because it's cuffing season because it's yes but like i never cuff i my thing is like I just like to be dressed up for a date.

Speaker 89 And also maybe it's like you're less self-conscious of what your body is doing.

Speaker 61 Right.

Speaker 138 This is the dysmorphic part.

Speaker 1 What I project upon you that I want for you is a gentleman who's maybe a little sober or whatever, just like not, he's just like, he's not the main character.

Speaker 179 Okay.

Speaker 1 He's the one that's like,

Speaker 134 he's just like, look at him go.

Speaker 16 I do think I do any adults.

Speaker 80 Do you subscribe to flower-gardener sort of duality and relationships?

Speaker 16 Say more.

Speaker 59 Like one person is the flower, they need to be watered and gardened, and one person is a gardener, and they kind of, that's what they do.

Speaker 173 It can't be as simple as that, but that is a

Speaker 70 dichotomy thing that people sometimes think about.

Speaker 1 I think that's interesting because I would say for you, you're extroverted person,

Speaker 1 right? Probably secretly more introverted than we think.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but an extroverted person who I think it would be nice for you to have like a British Jude Law looking gentleman

Speaker 1 who has the taxi waiting while you work the room

Speaker 167 has the taxi waiting yeah

Speaker 1 i love someone that wants to leave he's like ready to go love yeah like i i'm ready to go ready to go love that rocks yes there's actually nothing less sexy than someone who doesn't know when to leave a party oh yeah it's a problem when someone can't leave a party because they're just kind of waiting i've gotten for this thing that's that hasn't happened yet to happen yeah absolutely not absolutely and it won't happen it won't won't happen.

Speaker 133 And also, I'm the part.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm the party.

Speaker 64 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hello. Like, what are you waiting for?

Speaker 82 Exactly.

Speaker 143 I'm the party title.

Speaker 152 I'm the party.

Speaker 106 I'm the party.

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Speaker 153 we have to ask the question so this is the question that we ask all of our guests

Speaker 1 is what was the culture that made you say culture was for you okay well you know you are my favorite podcast so i've thought about this a lot this is why i love this podcast i love this podcast

Speaker 1 and i thought about it a lot and you know i didn't want to to overthink it. But I have to say, for me, growing up, there was a woman who

Speaker 1 I just related to. She just felt very

Speaker 1 strong. She had a really specific POV.
She kind of asked for what she wanted. She always had good jokes.
And that woman was Miss Piggy.

Speaker 64 Oh!

Speaker 95 You know that she might be coming on Lost Cole.

Speaker 80 She might be a guest on this very podcast.

Speaker 122 We are obsessed.

Speaker 94 She's one of the top icons.

Speaker 1 She, at a time when women were told to be, you know, seen and not heard, she took up space. She was very body positive.

Speaker 1 She was, yes, at times a little violent. We would, we'd maybe correct that now.
There was some, there was, it was almost always in self-defense. I completely agree.
She often saved the day.

Speaker 176 She often saved the day.

Speaker 1 She said what she wanted. She was like one big intrusive thought.
And if you suffered from those, like I did as a kid, you were like, I can't believe she said that out loud. She was always funny.

Speaker 64 Yeah, always funny.

Speaker 82 And she had really good jokes.

Speaker 120 Yeah, she did.

Speaker 157 Kermi loved her.

Speaker 146 Obsessed.

Speaker 101 She was the only person in him up at Christmas Carol who stood up to Scrooge.

Speaker 101 What?

Speaker 82 What? Whenever she goes,

Speaker 75 it is respectful of martial arts culture, respectful of Eastern culture.

Speaker 1 Okay, if you say so,

Speaker 82 I'm here to tell her.

Speaker 145 I don't know. Okay, I'm happy to see you.

Speaker 174 Don't worry, you can enjoy Miss Piggy's hias.

Speaker 204 Her hias. It's done respectfully.

Speaker 1 And she was,

Speaker 1 she was such a funny character.

Speaker 82 Yeah, hilarious.

Speaker 67 Funny. I mean, she's funny.

Speaker 1 Funny, funny, funny, funny.

Speaker 140 Outsized diva who demanded that she get her shine.

Speaker 70 And what was always great was the budget they would blow out for her sets and everything, and how disastrously it would go wrong.

Speaker 78 But yet, it's still, she still came out on top.

Speaker 174 And they never, she was allowed to, like, I guess, like, keep failing.

Speaker 82 She was a woman in Hollywood that they let keep flopping.

Speaker 1 Look, it was the 70s, right? It wasn't perfect. So at times, Miss Piggy like almost felt like, oh, she's a cautionary tale of someone who's too.

Speaker 1 But the audience did not feel that from her. No.
The Muppet Show, when it would come on and the, it's time to get things started. And the song would start as a kid, I was like, this is Hollywood.

Speaker 1 Everything. This felt like this was, you know, I didn't know anyone that was an actor or writer.
I'd never seen anyone famous.

Speaker 1 Something about the Muppet Show was like, there is a place where my jokes and what I like is going to live. And it was get ready for the the show.
It's like very SNL.

Speaker 80 Was it your pre-SNL SNL?

Speaker 1 It was my pre-SNL.

Speaker 1 Because my generation of SNL, the people at like, I was like 10 when Eddie Murphy joined SNL. And I was like 14 when it was like Dana Carvey and Jan Hooks and Phil Hartman.

Speaker 1 So that was, but the Muppet Show was the first feeling of there's a show about to be put on.

Speaker 1 And Miss Piggy was the star of the Muppet Show. Yes, she was.
She was the star. She was the, she, she told everyone what to do.
And Kermi couldn't resist.

Speaker 65 No.

Speaker 1 I mean, he, he was a little shy. And, you know, she kind of probably spoke for him in a way that I think he liked.

Speaker 79 Well, it, it, it, yeah.

Speaker 80 Thank you for putting some shine on Kermit too, because Kermi, I think, was also just as valuable of a, a male, a masculinity comp

Speaker 81 that.

Speaker 105 as Miss Piggy was a femininity sort of example.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they flipped. He was kind of a soft boy.

Speaker 1 Also, though, during that time, we also had people like Alan Alda and MASH, right?

Speaker 1 Who was like so nice, even though he was

Speaker 1 so sweet. We had some sweetie pies.

Speaker 134 Yes.

Speaker 1 It wasn't as masculine all the time as people think.

Speaker 1 Like the 70s, there was some like groovy, like, you know, dads, or even like Michael Landon, who was like tough, but like loved his daughter and was kind of sweet. But Kermi.
Hermit was

Speaker 134 very in touch with his feminine side. Yes.

Speaker 124 It sounds like you have feelings for Kermi.

Speaker 133 You know why I love Kermit?

Speaker 1 Kermit was a peacemaker.

Speaker 81 Yes.

Speaker 1 Kermit was a peacemaker. And as I get older, I'm drawn to people, men, especially, who are looking for peace.

Speaker 56 Oh, yeah. All I want to do is feel calm.

Speaker 1 Me too.

Speaker 1 I want to feel calm. I want to feel safe.
And I don't. Conflict used to be the way.
I'm an Enneagram. Eight.
Do you care about your Enneagram?

Speaker 1 That's right. You're seven.
That makes sense.

Speaker 133 What are you?

Speaker 137 A four.

Speaker 143 Bowen.

Speaker 145 Oh, wait, what?

Speaker 64 It's so hard.

Speaker 1 No one understands you. You're very, it's very hard to, no, fours are like, they're like special romantic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fours are dream maker, like that makes artists.

Speaker 80 Remind me eight.

Speaker 1 Challenger. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I used to think conflict was how I, and it was often how I got intimate with people. Like, yeah.
And now I want more peace. I see.
And sevens are so much fun.

Speaker 129 You know, we exhaust ourselves.

Speaker 135 Yeah, sevens require a lot, but they're so fun.

Speaker 117 Yeah, I mean, I like, like, it's so funny because I, and then I looked at the results and it was like, whoa, I didn't stand a chance.

Speaker 179 I was such a seven.

Speaker 144 Like it was, it was, I was thinking like, oh, I don't know.

Speaker 157 These hitches aren't going to all go together.

Speaker 70 It was like, you're a seven down.

Speaker 124 The house down.

Speaker 137 Yes.

Speaker 83 And I mean, I get that.

Speaker 129 It's funny.

Speaker 70 Like, as I get a little bit older, like, I'm also, I don't know if you ascribe to the astrology of it all, but I'm also like a triple water sign, double Pisces cancer moon, which is like that.

Speaker 70 And a seven is like, oh, he's going to take up a lot of space.

Speaker 1 And also, you're just gonna be kind of like, what's the next thing? Like, you're definitely for the adventure.

Speaker 152 I'm also

Speaker 84 a consumer.

Speaker 90 Sudie used to say that about me all the time.

Speaker 82 I like to feel excited.

Speaker 125 Yeah.

Speaker 177 And sometimes that can get me into

Speaker 1 that. I have a lot of sevens in my life.
I love them. For those that you don't care about, Enneagrams, whatever, but they're enthusiasts.
They're enthusiasts.

Speaker 82 Yes, I do.

Speaker 135 They love things and they love having fun.

Speaker 1 But a seven's always like, you're like, let's go do this thing. And they're like, is it going to be fun? And you're like, I mean, I guess.

Speaker 133 Fun.

Speaker 1 Fun is important. Newness is important.

Speaker 103 It's interesting to be the kind of person that's like seeks excitement and seeks like to consume things and have experiences, but then also have like an anxiety creep up.

Speaker 93 Yeah.

Speaker 19 Because it's like, that's when you get, you get, you get in your head with a lot of like judgment, judgment, judgment.

Speaker 213 I just, that's why I want to be calm is because I just want someone who's just going to be like, it's okay.

Speaker 83 Like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 144 Like, it's, it's, you know what?

Speaker 215 Like this experience is going to be what it is. And then it's going to be over.

Speaker 179 And then we're going to have another one tomorrow.

Speaker 81 Yeah.

Speaker 84 But I, I am sort of waiting.

Speaker 106 And I do do think, I haven't really said this on the podcast yet, but I am fully moving back to New York.

Speaker 153 Like, I finally bought my first place.

Speaker 82 Yay. And so, like, I, I think that that will be a place where I can like root.

Speaker 141 Yeah.

Speaker 84 Because I am looking for that.

Speaker 140 I think I deeply feel like my next step is to just feel like I can sit down and be comfortable in a place.

Speaker 71 And like, that would be nice if someone could be a part of that.

Speaker 75 Like 10 toes down.

Speaker 46 Yeah.

Speaker 139 10 toes down vibe.

Speaker 113 But it is, it's interesting that you say all that stuff because feeling calm is something I never thought I wanted.

Speaker 134 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Same. I always thought like that my thing was to challenge and buck the system and kind of like push and push.

Speaker 1 And now I'm really, I really feel lucky that I'm surrounded by a lot of people who are not that way, who are like more peaceful and peacemakers and kind of like a little bit like, it could be this, it could be that.

Speaker 1 Like for the longest time, being definitive and like certain and decisive

Speaker 1 was like safety.

Speaker 99 And now I'm like luckily a little bit more like i don't know yeah you know i think it's interesting because one of your like i would say defining comedic and like public traits is your energy yeah you know what i mean like so i would imagine i identify with this that sometimes when people like interact with you they feel like they also need to bring a lot of energy and then there you are meeting that and all of a sudden you exhausted girl

Speaker 82 and like you're like wait hold on

Speaker 82 where was i in this

Speaker 153 i was definitely talking yeah what was i saying oh yeah it's so funny but it's interesting you bring what you get you know praise for and credit for and like notices for especially at a place i would imagine coming up through comedy and like you know having to make your way like and being one of one in many ways and then getting to snl and then having to like

Speaker 170 i know it started really well for you pretty much like you kind of hit the ground running and then when you were in the main cast like kind of right away right yeah pretty fast yeah so everything was happening really fast but you probably had to give it.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. You know, we were like, it was a different time where there was less women.
You had to kind of, you know, for those that are not watching, I'm, I'm swinging my elbows.

Speaker 1 But, but you bring up something that's so true, which is, I feel like, and getting back to like your 50s and Austria, Bros,

Speaker 136 but

Speaker 1 I'm all about practicing my backhand.

Speaker 1 That's my new phrase, which is my forehand has served me so well. It is, I've made a lot of shots.
I feel really confident. It's, I'm very, very grateful for what it's gotten me.

Speaker 1 And now it's time to practice my backhand. What is the thing that I don't really always give as much attention to or practice to? And it's exactly that.

Speaker 1 It's not depending on my energy to be the way that people connect with me or like, or that like sparring or conflict is going to be the way in which I can get something done, but just like be a little bit more watery.

Speaker 190 And

Speaker 101 it's thinking about how you communicate subtextually

Speaker 73 rather than literally or super super textually where you're just like i'm gonna communicate what i think by saying it and right something like this where it's like well this is a very four answer you're giving right now because

Speaker 1 i'm being such a four no because you're right you're saying like you're coming from a feeling place yeah and i'm coming from an action place yeah yeah and that's a challenger thing that's an issue yeah that so the four is like how can i express my feelings or have these feelings differently it's like what can i do differently yeah And our work is to like, and I'm so sorry if this is boring for anybody.

Speaker 1 No, our work is to feel more. Yeah.
And your work is to be do more.

Speaker 1 Less feelings, more doing.

Speaker 1 And mine is more, more feelings, less doing.

Speaker 17 Is Piggy an eight? Is Miss Piggy an eight?

Speaker 1 I think she is definitely an eight. Miss Piggy is kind of an island.
She is definitely an Enneagram. That would be fun to do that with all the muckles.

Speaker 82 Well, Fozzie Bear is a seven.

Speaker 82 An enthusiast.

Speaker 133 I think so.

Speaker 1 I think Hermit's a nine. He's a peacemaker.

Speaker 116 Well, he has to be the whole decenter of that place.

Speaker 163 Yeah, he's like, hey, guys. Yeah.

Speaker 99 Wait. Maybe Kermit's my man.
Kermit's your man.

Speaker 89 Maybe I need to fuck Miss Piggy up.

Speaker 180 When she cuts here, I'm going to be like, listen.

Speaker 82 Although, I think they broke up.

Speaker 92 Didn't they break up to finish?

Speaker 79 Remember the ABC show?

Speaker 71 They introduced that new pig girl.

Speaker 145 Oh, I don't like that.

Speaker 81 I don't know this.

Speaker 64 Do you remember?

Speaker 75 There's that new pig woman.

Speaker 82 Oh, no.

Speaker 76 And she was scooping in and trying to

Speaker 76 pick up Kermit.

Speaker 75 And the internet lost their mind.

Speaker 80 They were like, get the fuck away from him.

Speaker 89 She needs to get the fuck away from him.

Speaker 78 She never stood a chance against Mr.

Speaker 1 I gotta watch this. I did not, I did not know that.
And do you also remember how public television is so great? Sesame Street.

Speaker 1 Do you remember when Sesame Street, when I was growing up, there was a character called Snuffle Up Agissa?

Speaker 82 Yes. I think he was still there.

Speaker 175 Okay, he's still there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But then they took Snuffle Up Agus away because it was frustrating kids.

Speaker 69 Yeah, because why couldn't they see him?

Speaker 160 And I was like, wait, but who said this?

Speaker 101 No, someone said that they took him away because some kids, especially in the 80s when child abduction was a a thing, they were like, parents would like, it was that, like, they wouldn't believe what kids were saying.

Speaker 1 Like in the show, yeah, a kid didn't feel believed.

Speaker 79 Right.

Speaker 101 And like it was at a time when you needed to trust what children were saying, like, I saw a strange man at the side of our street, you know, like,

Speaker 131 there's, there's like a lot of implications when it comes to like

Speaker 101 PBS and children's programming.

Speaker 50 Did you ever get to go down there to Sesame Street?

Speaker 1 I did. I got to do something with Elmo, which is really cool.
What did you guys do together? We did like a word of the day or something. Awesome.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then, you know, and when I like, and I loved growing up, I loved, we had an Oscar the Grouch alarm clock.

Speaker 82 Oh, I like Oscar the Grouch.

Speaker 90 I love Oscar Group. He's a great resource.

Speaker 1 Larry David owes a lot to Oscar the Grouch.

Speaker 146 Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 The alarm clock used to start with, it's going to be a lousy day.

Speaker 1 Wake up. It's going to, and it was such a Gen X alarm clock.

Speaker 110 Like, you could never do that now.

Speaker 66 But yeah, I love him.

Speaker 1 That whole jim henson world i have to say

Speaker 1 it has permeated most of my life because it you know also was in the beginning of snow but just like those muppets and puppets are everywhere in my psyche yeah absolutely we got to send up uh a prayers up what the heck that was oh my god that was this piggy squeaming

Speaker 1 come here yeah that's that is stressful though because have you ever been with someone who's working a puppet no so So we heard that basically what it is, is it's like they can go for like 25, 30 minutes at a time, and then they need a short break.

Speaker 134 It's stressful. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 God bless everyone who works puppets. It's amazing, but it's intense.

Speaker 125 Yeah. Right.

Speaker 81 Where do you look? Right.

Speaker 1 I guess you look at the puppet.

Speaker 153 I'm going to have no problems looking right into Miss Piggy's eyes.

Speaker 96 I'm telling you, I'm committing so hard.

Speaker 82 Okay, you'll be great.

Speaker 148 I know.

Speaker 80 I might cry, though, because I feel the same sort of cosmic connection to her that you're talking about, which is that I'm like,

Speaker 105 she was my first glimpse into old Hollywood until like, and she's like modeled after those actresses.

Speaker 1 And I'm she's modeled after like Peggy Lee, right? Right.

Speaker 65 Peggy Lee.

Speaker 81 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And she was also kind of like in drag a little bit.

Speaker 1 She had like a real vibe of like costumes and, and you always were going into her world and it was like satin and she was very like, she was very feminine. She was a showgirl.

Speaker 159 She was a showgirl.

Speaker 135 She was the last showgirl with Pamela Anderson.

Speaker 86 I just think she's beautiful.

Speaker 169 Yeah.

Speaker 74 And pigs have newly become my favorite animal.

Speaker 120 Oh, really?

Speaker 1 And a lot of cultures, pigs are really, really revered.

Speaker 82 Revere.

Speaker 162 Yeah. So smart.

Speaker 86 Are they one of the smart ones? Yes.

Speaker 82 Smart, very smart.

Speaker 107 So I'm like, now I'm like in this new kick where I'm finding out about how deep the intelligence of certain animals goes. Like I went in on elephants the other day and now I'll never be the same.

Speaker 81 I know.

Speaker 50 Did you know that octopuses decorate their homes?

Speaker 68 What?

Speaker 107 So the next time you go to like, I don't know, some place on Larchmont and they're serving up a grilled puss.

Speaker 116 No, just know that that puss was a decorator.

Speaker 92 He was that interior decorator.

Speaker 82 That was the Dean Burkers of the C's.

Speaker 1 So many octopuses.

Speaker 70 You might be eating the Nate and Jeremiah of the seas.

Speaker 142 Those are

Speaker 1 put up so much shiplap

Speaker 82 so fast.

Speaker 153 Jesse and my mom has revealed how obsessed she is with Nate and Jeremiah.

Speaker 64 Do you watch Nate and Jeremiah?

Speaker 82 Incredible.

Speaker 84 My dad was talking to me about

Speaker 56 the week. I was on the phone with them and my mom was talking.

Speaker 72 My mom started watching Queer Eye.

Speaker 50 And she was like, because Jeremiah joined.

Speaker 176 Yeah.

Speaker 120 And now Jeremiah is a good one.

Speaker 82 And my dad says to me on the phone, your mother is beaming ear to ear, harder than I've ever seen her talking about Jeremiah Brent right now.

Speaker 117 She loves him.

Speaker 1 They also decorate in this beautiful aesthetic that does feel like, how do I put this? Like no one will ever live there.

Speaker 66 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 78 Like the tiling that they put in.

Speaker 1 like i i watched there i there like when someone is just like yeah so we ripped out the floors i'm like what are you talking about like in all respect but i'm like i could never be like i want to rip out these floors i want to re-upholster no i don't know what that word means it's hard and also there is something about i love interior design i do you i love it it's kind of like a I don't want to say a hobby, but I love working with people and making spaces and looking at it.

Speaker 91 You're making it.

Speaker 1 I love it. Yes.
And I love looking at like magazines and looking at stuff online. And I find just like what people think is comfortable.
Yeah. I is so subjective.
It's just so subjective.

Speaker 1 And for me, the I must rest. My eye must rest.
Got it.

Speaker 1 So there's like, there was like an organizing show where it was like, what kind of organizer are you? Are you? So let me ask you this. Okay.
There's four different ways.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to butcher this, but do you like a room where there's an open shelf and like, you know, your plates and cups and everything? You can see them. Floating?

Speaker 1 no no sure absolutely no okay but sorry i'll let you do okay right so there's one where you're like floating shelf and cups and and organized well but visible sure sure one where they're behind a cabinet organized behind a cabinet those are two options and then also

Speaker 1 do you like to have let's say you're you're putting away your important piece of paper

Speaker 1 do you want to have it in a drawer where you throw it in in a drawer and it's worth all the important papers and you'll organize it later or do you want to have a place that it lives every time?

Speaker 73 That I see.

Speaker 214 I mean, here's my thing.

Speaker 188 I don't like looking at cupboards.

Speaker 73 I don't like looking at cupboards and shelves.

Speaker 116 I think I'm SOL.

Speaker 1 Some people like to see their stuff and some people like to not see their stuff.

Speaker 95 I think it could be interesting to see my stuff.

Speaker 74 I am going to be the not see your stuff school because

Speaker 105 If one thing is off on the floating shelf and it's out on display, it's going to bug the shit out of me.

Speaker 105 I'm never going to feel, I'm going to have that itch in my brain the entire time I'm looking at it.

Speaker 121 Yes.

Speaker 1 And what about countertops,

Speaker 1 tables?

Speaker 1 Do they need to be clear?

Speaker 73 Pretty much have to be clear.

Speaker 81 Yeah.

Speaker 144 Yeah, you have such a strong aesthetic.

Speaker 154 I mean, I keep telling him that he should get AD over to his place because it's so cute and cool.

Speaker 165 Product line going, Bowen.

Speaker 105 Of like housewares.

Speaker 79 Yeah. What about you? When are you doing it?

Speaker 1 Would love to do that.

Speaker 75 What?

Speaker 75 Come on, everybody.

Speaker 133 It's too, well, you know what?

Speaker 1 I'm going to take my own advice. It's never too late.

Speaker 95 It's never too late. Wait, to do what?

Speaker 167 But what would just have a housewife?

Speaker 134 Have like a houseware as long as you're not.

Speaker 82 Okay, wait.

Speaker 81 Your conversation with Tina about this, don't you think Bowen Ulster should open eyeglasses?

Speaker 1 I've been trying to get Tina to make money off of eyeglasses for her entire life.

Speaker 78 But she refuses.

Speaker 81 I understand.

Speaker 163 I respect it.

Speaker 1 Only do what you want to do.

Speaker 151 Right.

Speaker 1 But you could do it too, Bowen.

Speaker 125 I don't know.

Speaker 73 I'm of the same mind as Tina.

Speaker 151 I'm like, what, you know, or

Speaker 65 in her head because she said it.

Speaker 78 No, I just, I've always thought the same thing.

Speaker 73 I'm like, I, there's no practical reason for me to, for me to do that.

Speaker 66 I'm going to sell it. So, only do

Speaker 65 you sell them at all?

Speaker 145 Whatever.

Speaker 143 Yeah.

Speaker 92 Sweatshirt on my face.

Speaker 82 Put my name on like plastic, water bottles, whatever.

Speaker 1 No, yeah. Only if you, only if you'd be into the design and into the aesthetic of it.
But something aesthetic would be interesting and fun to work on.

Speaker 81 Perhaps.

Speaker 125 Perhaps.

Speaker 82 Watch this space.

Speaker 136 I can see it for you. I think you're a huge brand.

Speaker 82 No,

Speaker 82 Bowen.

Speaker 1 I completely agree.

Speaker 134 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 100 Yes.

Speaker 111 I don't know, y'all.

Speaker 46 I completely agree.

Speaker 1 But at least get AD into that house and get them to walk around and put your bowl of limes. Show them your bowl of limes.

Speaker 23 My bowl of limes.

Speaker 82 Wait, who was the bowl of limes against?

Speaker 100 I love limes.

Speaker 167 And I actually do.

Speaker 155 But she said, I love limes.

Speaker 76 And then afterwards, she was like, I don't know why I said that.

Speaker 66 Yeah, no, she revealed later she doesn't know.

Speaker 217 She does.

Speaker 89 She was like a joke.

Speaker 155 Wait, now I'm actually thinking because they say, like, just think of some images that you like and like things that you'd want to see around your house.

Speaker 89 I actually would love limes.

Speaker 66 I like limes.

Speaker 163 Limes are so good.

Speaker 1 Or how about this? A bowl of artichokes.

Speaker 160 Oh, I like artichokes.

Speaker 1 If you put artichokes in a bowl, you're a billionaire.

Speaker 82 A billionaire. Really?

Speaker 64 Yes.

Speaker 84 I guess that is what that means.

Speaker 1 If you put three artichokes in a silver bowl, you're

Speaker 122 done.

Speaker 72 I've always wanted to have bananas on the table.

Speaker 65 Of course, you can do that.

Speaker 75 Nothing's stopping you. You can do that.

Speaker 79 You can do that. You can do that.

Speaker 82 I don't think you understand what my living situation has been like.

Speaker 85 It's only now that I'm like.

Speaker 1 Very seven. Okay, right.
We need to root it down.

Speaker 159 Super seven.

Speaker 70 My life has been so seven.

Speaker 82 It's been so like LA, New York, LA, New York. Like, where can I go next?

Speaker 96 Coachella again this weekend.

Speaker 1 Slaving out of a suitcase.

Speaker 82 Yeah, very that.

Speaker 177 And I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't.

Speaker 89 The seven has to, you know.

Speaker 5 The seven has to go to a nine peacemaker.

Speaker 1 Your space has to be, your space is important.

Speaker 161 Yeah, it is. It is, it is.

Speaker 92 It is. It is.

Speaker 98 What is your most interior design-y motif?

Speaker 1 I love, well, I love, right now, my house is a California ranch. So I do like that kind of a tiny bit of Quaker.

Speaker 65 Quaker.

Speaker 1 There's a tiny bit of Quaker craft. Like, I like a wood, like, I like a wood bench with like a patterned cushion.
Yeah. I like like a nice patterned rug with like a black sofa.

Speaker 1 I like a warm tone chairs that match a warm tone table with like a an amber light fixture. I like, I like a bit more masculine in my apartment.

Speaker 73 I'm coming at you so naturally and it's very masculine.

Speaker 56 I literally, what I said to the guy who's doing my apartment is I was like, I want it to be like masculine, but light.

Speaker 1 Masculine can sometimes be like too much like steel.

Speaker 162 That's what I'm saying. Not that.

Speaker 78 You know the word I said?

Speaker 82 Redford.

Speaker 161 Ooh, like it's kind of just it's giving, like, like, not denim, but like, like, like, yeah, warm masculine, like, wood, yes, but with like little light blue denim-y touches, like, cause they say, look in your closet, and that's like a hint as to what you might want to, like, yeah, look like.

Speaker 1 And I'm leaning lately less mid-century and more, like, a little bit like worn and waspy.

Speaker 65 I'm more into

Speaker 1 I'm trying to do more antique and flea pieces than new pieces.

Speaker 98 But your, your masculine masculine is callback Alan Alda.

Speaker 1 My masculine is Alan Alda.

Speaker 145 Like

Speaker 1 Groovy 70s. Sweet.
Loves his wife.

Speaker 86 Because mid-century is kind of done.

Speaker 174 Don't you feel like everyone was doing mid-century? Sure.

Speaker 1 Once like Dwell came out, like and everything was very like weird, table and like, yeah, everything got a little too mid-century. And it's very LA.

Speaker 23 Total. Yeah, really totally.

Speaker 94 Mid-century.

Speaker 180 Well, the first time, the first apartment I ever got, I walked into West Elm.

Speaker 153 And the first thing I said was, does it look like I don't belong here?

Speaker 113 Because Because I thought like it was for fancy people.

Speaker 86 And they said, no, what are you talking about? We'll help you.

Speaker 150 And so I, because I'm colorblind and have no taste, I was like, um, I guess I like this.

Speaker 84 And I just pointed to a display and they were like, you like just this?

Speaker 91 And I was like, yeah, I think I like this for my living room.

Speaker 96 They're like, you don't want to change anything?

Speaker 143 I go, um,

Speaker 82 yeah, the rug.

Speaker 96 Well, which rug would you like?

Speaker 165 That one.

Speaker 82 And that's what happened.

Speaker 172 Great. But, but, but they're not supposed to make you feel that way.

Speaker 78 No, they didn't. They were so beautiful and lovely.

Speaker 1 I think you're telling an old story about yourself. I think you do have a sense of style.

Speaker 175 I'm colorblind.

Speaker 152 I know a lot of men are.

Speaker 1 A lot of men are.

Speaker 78 Like, that's that's sorry.

Speaker 84 What do you mean that doesn't?

Speaker 155 I was going to say, that doesn't, I don't think that correlates to taste or style.

Speaker 56 I've been very malleable in my settings.

Speaker 170 Like, like, I live in, I'm subletting something in New York right now, and the guy has like a crazy pink gallery wall with all sorts of different colorful pictures on it.

Speaker 122 And I've just been like, yeah, I live here and I like it.

Speaker 156 And I have no idea whether or not I do or don't.

Speaker 101 That's a sublet reality.

Speaker 79 I'm the one that's asking him, like, what are the spaces that you like?

Speaker 132 Where do you feel comfortable?

Speaker 123 And I'm literally like, you should think of your favorite restaurant at Disney World.

Speaker 122 I love being everywhere.

Speaker 95 I love being in a sushi place.

Speaker 78 I love being in that Mexican spot Nepcot.

Speaker 165 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But do you like, like, I like things to feel nice? Yeah. I love texture.
So I have these two chairs in my living room that are upholstered with like that really fuzzy, like

Speaker 1 yes the fuzzy stuff fuzzy stuff he's got that and why I like is when I walk by them I like always touch you bet them but they're a tire to clean

Speaker 1 oh but you know that's okay that this isn't you're not gonna be worried about cleaning I'm covered in buffalo sauce most of the time

Speaker 1 I didn't tell you that eat it on the thing ran through my financials I forgot about like 98% of it is buffalo sauce I have so much buffalo sauce all my shit you know what you should do just do one room just do one room like what would be your version of the nice of a nice

Speaker 109 yeah

Speaker 70 yeah that's great just one room see what i love is like also like i love when i go to someone's house like in the suburbs and the the living room is like the beach and the bathroom is the ocean and that's just what it is it's like almost every suburban house is like my bathroom is the bottom of the sea

Speaker 1 you know and then seashell well i always say people's houses people either want to tell you where they've been

Speaker 148 or where they are.

Speaker 143 Oh, one or the other.

Speaker 60 They never tell you where they're going.

Speaker 1 So exactly. So it's like, where have I been? I've like have African masks and I have, you know, saris and I have like all this stuff that I've collected.
Or we are in Denver, baby.

Speaker 118 And you're going to know it.

Speaker 1 You're going to know that we are in Colorado. Like it's one or the other.

Speaker 64 Yep.

Speaker 5 Well, I think Matt has a lot to work with in terms of where he's been and where he agrees.

Speaker 56 One thing I don't want to do.

Speaker 70 A lot of gay guys, like in their first apartments, they have a big gay picture.

Speaker 95 Yes.

Speaker 122 Like of someone's tricep or like someone laying on the beach and it's just like this part of someone's body i think i can i can forego big gay picture and never sleep on a plant and a mirror see plants have been something i never

Speaker 64 interacted with and i love a mirror yeah oh gosh a mirror in a plant mirror in a plant can change your life a mirror in a plant and creates a large space

Speaker 1 and you're there's like ai now that you can put your room in and it'll tell you all the stuff it's incredible damn ai yeah we're gonna fix that with the oh yeah people should know that.

Speaker 1 Have you already spoken about it on the pod?

Speaker 142 No, we haven't.

Speaker 70 So we've heard you guys say that our new profile image for Lost Coach Rista's, I am out of focus.

Speaker 129 I do see it.

Speaker 155 I do think it is a striking picture.

Speaker 114 It's one of my favorite photos that Bowen and I have taken.

Speaker 140 And I'm hesitant to change it because Bowen looks so insanely good in it.

Speaker 78 You can't.

Speaker 66 But I think I look good.

Speaker 83 It's just that I'm out of focus.

Speaker 130 I think it's she.

Speaker 1 This is a really interesting experiment about

Speaker 1 how we see ourselves and how do we want people to see us.

Speaker 125 Yes.

Speaker 123 But I think it's also a statement on depth.

Speaker 178 You are getting depth because this side of your face is not, it is in focus and then this side isn't.

Speaker 95 Yeah, my right eye is in focus.

Speaker 1 But you know, don't you deserve to be in focus?

Speaker 93 I think I do.

Speaker 66 You do. Don't you?

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Doesn't one deserve to be in focus?

Speaker 75 I'm bringing my four energy into this.

Speaker 5 I'm like being academic about a lot of things.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And also, you're an incredible picture of you.

Speaker 144 It is such a good picture.

Speaker 84 Thank you.

Speaker 1 And it's a great picture of you too. But I mean, I would try to get in focus.

Speaker 1 You had said maybe AI can get you in focus, and you were saying, I don't know if I want that.

Speaker 71 Because I don't want to necessarily support AI.

Speaker 46 Right, right.

Speaker 82 But then again, at this point, it's like,

Speaker 139 we have to just kind of like succumb.

Speaker 143 Throw our hands out. It's too late.

Speaker 1 It's too late. This is all AI.
Everything's AI.

Speaker 64 This is all

Speaker 80 is already i've been ai for nine years this is gonna be

Speaker 132 h i human

Speaker 101 we are about to go into i don't think so how this is the human intelligence part of the podcast

Speaker 57 okay so you know how the world is a chaotic swirling ball of total stress right now well we have a new hulu show from ryan murphy that will give you the much-needed break from reality and whether you know it or not you are already completely obsessed.

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Speaker 113 So this is, I don't think, 20.

Speaker 70 This is in fact our 60-second segment where we sort of tear up culture.

Speaker 83 And, you know, I've realized something.

Speaker 89 I was on the drive home with Patrick Rogers, come back from Coachella, and a motorcyclist went by us really fast.

Speaker 56 And Patrick said, his mom's nurse, and said, you know, my mom saw the gnarliest things from motorcyclists.

Speaker 147 Motorcyclists, and that was her one rule.

Speaker 64 You're never getting on a motorcycle because of what I've seen in the ER and one other thing.

Speaker 89 And this is what I'm talking about.

Speaker 100 Oh, this is all the preamble. I thought you were going to do that.

Speaker 140 So that was all that was just the preamble.

Speaker 1 My unexciting.

Speaker 74 This is Matt Rogers's I don't think so honey his time starts now.

Speaker 144 I don't think so honey trampolines.

Speaker 81 You don't need it.

Speaker 95 Like, honestly, your kids don't need to be up that high. You're right.

Speaker 85 What I would say is get like, I don't know, like, get get like a room, like a matted room.

Speaker 173 Like, if you have a trampoline, you can afford a trampoline, you probably have like a playroom or a designated area where the kids go, pad it like a cell, have the kids toss themselves all around the room.

Speaker 72 That is better than trampolines.

Speaker 144 And also, let me tell you something about people, people who have trampolines.

Speaker 78 You're also good old days people.

Speaker 82 Like, oh, in the good old days, we could just who cared about the nest on the trampoline.

Speaker 83 I could ride my bike to Connecticut. You know what? I don't care.

Speaker 96 The good old days stuff is problematic.

Speaker 174 Like protect your children.

Speaker 71 Don't even get me started on zip lines.

Speaker 96 You'll have some people with zip lines like from one tree to the other in their own backyard.

Speaker 78 My dad made one for us and we had a trampoline and I'm looking back thinking, I'm glad I have my neck.

Speaker 82 I don't think so, honey.

Speaker 173 These, when I want to say what my dad said to me, to you, when I was little, I used to play with a stick.

Speaker 118 Take the screens out, get the trampoline's out there, just give the kid a stick, have him run around in the yard or in a padded cell.

Speaker 83 And also enough with the video games because your brains are melting.

Speaker 100 And that's one minute.

Speaker 82 Oh, is that it? Okay.

Speaker 157 Well, it's a minute and 15.

Speaker 82 Well, wow.

Speaker 82 I let my sister go. It's okay.

Speaker 83 I feel like the trampoline culture.

Speaker 1 You lost the teens at the end with the video games.

Speaker 82 I'm ignored.

Speaker 175 I think I lost the teens so long ago.

Speaker 72 Yeah, it's okay.

Speaker 82 It's okay. It's all right.
Forget about it.

Speaker 74 The teens are all about the slang has been video games with Gen Alpha and Gen Z, like SideQuest and NPCs.

Speaker 105 It's like this is permeating the culture with them in a way that I'm like, y'all bet we all should develop a video game vocabulary on the basics.

Speaker 1 And I agree with you about trampoline.

Speaker 56 None of my childhood memories include jumping on them.

Speaker 191 Right. None of my good childhood memories.

Speaker 82 Broken bones.

Speaker 1 You know where you're going to end up?

Speaker 163 The pit. The pit.

Speaker 42 And you're going to end up in the place to be.

Speaker 102 And the wait time is long.

Speaker 82 Is that part of the show?

Speaker 143 Long wait times.

Speaker 74 There's a bed shortage.

Speaker 77 Oh, it's a mess.

Speaker 93 Dear God. It's a mess.

Speaker 74 It's stressful, but it's real time, no scoring, grounded acting.

Speaker 189 I couldn't believe it this morning.

Speaker 55 Like when Patrick was like, Yeah, my mom said it's insane what you watch happens to the human body on motorcycles.

Speaker 119 And then he was like, and trampolines.

Speaker 158 And I was like, don't even, don't even keep going.

Speaker 70 I can't.

Speaker 82 If you're going to ride a motorcycle, it breaks on kids.

Speaker 81 Right.

Speaker 74 If you're going to ride a motorcycle, and this sounds a little insensitive, at least go on the donor list.

Speaker 148 Well, yeah.

Speaker 46 At least make

Speaker 82 a little for society. So am I.
Of course.

Speaker 1 Of course. Come on.

Speaker 80 Cut me open.

Speaker 95 Cut me open and take this stuff.

Speaker 86 Some of this stuff is good in here.

Speaker 174 Yeah. Some of this stuff's still good.

Speaker 144 These eyes.

Speaker 64 Oh, honey.

Speaker 82 Someone should have.

Speaker 116 I was noticing them.

Speaker 144 Are we giving gray, blue?

Speaker 133 Well, you know what? I think we are. We're giving.

Speaker 60 All right. Well, that was mine.

Speaker 1 That was incredible. Oh, wow.
This is hard to do this third. I just have to say, because you guys are so good at this.

Speaker 74 No, we're setting you up for success.

Speaker 98 And I want you to chime in on mine after I'm done.

Speaker 82 Or during. Please, please.
Okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 92 Okay, so this is.

Speaker 1 have you ever done someone's then they you've done what they were gonna do no never i was sweating yours because i have a little bit of crossover tiny bit okay oh really

Speaker 169 nothing bad nothing bad

Speaker 80 okay here is bone yang sound on things honey his time struts now i don't think so honey standards and practices we should be able to say at least five and five on snl per season

Speaker 79 because after this whole ego won'tem miss eggie because these men ain't what shit moment first of all favorite moment to televised absolutely ever incredible second of all we are so hampered in in our comedy at snl by not being able to say and celestia and i talk about this all the time let us say shit and like it's us it's abbott it's ghosts we're the we're the last network comedy it's like we should can you give snl an exception an exemption like if we're dismantling the fcc because of trump like can we at least can one boon can one can one silver lining be that we skip to say shit and fuck and i'm even keeping it to an allotment, to an allotted five and five, five shits, five bucks.

Speaker 150 It would make it would bring a sketch to the next level.

Speaker 74 It would make it so that you would be able to know, oh, this is the real world. It's not a heightened sketch reality.

Speaker 149 Shit and fuck are so comedically powerful as words.

Speaker 101 I really think it would help us.

Speaker 85 And that's one minute.

Speaker 96 Yeah.

Speaker 95 So were they intense about that?

Speaker 143 Like, did the head come down?

Speaker 102 I don't think anything came down, which I love.

Speaker 152 And Ego was like, no, like I said, that was hilarious.

Speaker 101 So funny.

Speaker 150 Don't you agree?

Speaker 1 Wouldn't have it been this much more fun i'm gonna say nbc

Speaker 1 i think you can monetize this yes why don't you have a competition

Speaker 1 and people can vote like american idol as to which cast member gets to say the shit

Speaker 136 oh my god

Speaker 76 so you gotta be like if you want bowen to say it you know text 0032 on your phone and let bowen say it thank you or if you want to monetize it in a way that is like i don't know like go fund me code and like just have a fundraiser for our FCC fines.

Speaker 75 Like just help us cover our fines for the five shits and the five fucks that we get to say.

Speaker 84 100%.

Speaker 95 You know who should get to say it?

Speaker 140 Like whenever he decides to stop Keenan on his last episode, the whole 90 minutes should just be him saying whatever the fuck.

Speaker 1 Well, you could treat it like vacation days.

Speaker 84 You don't use it and it rolls over to the next year.

Speaker 1 And then you get to say 10 of them. Yeah,

Speaker 175 exactly.

Speaker 82 Casual Saturday Night.

Speaker 64 Back him up.

Speaker 122 I really like that.

Speaker 159 What I never understood.

Speaker 96 And I actually, I don't understand because you can say,

Speaker 154 you can say dick on the show.

Speaker 1 May I offer one small counterpoint?

Speaker 82 Yes, please.

Speaker 1 I do think there's something fun about not being able to say it that causes comedic tension.

Speaker 167 Of course. It's fun.

Speaker 1 So it may, the air may be let out of that balloon when you do, and you might not get the juice that you wanted to do.

Speaker 1 You want it because you can't have it.

Speaker 122 I also feel like shit's not even really a curse word anymore.

Speaker 16 Come on.

Speaker 155 Like over time, it's like, who is actually bothered if their kid says shit?

Speaker 78 Right.

Speaker 136 Who is actually bothered?

Speaker 95 Fuck, I understand, is one thing.

Speaker 140 It's like, it's a, I guess, still a little taboo.

Speaker 130 But like, shit and ass.

Speaker 79 Well, it's the semblance. You can say ass, you can't say ass.

Speaker 82 Yeah.

Speaker 131 You can say taint, but you can't, no, you can, you can't say taint because it's a part of the body.

Speaker 93 Oh, you can't?

Speaker 81 Yeah.

Speaker 74 We've had standards notes on this.

Speaker 74 You can say taint, but you can't say like

Speaker 126 gooch or whatever.

Speaker 76 Because it's like, it's not anatomically precise.

Speaker 1 Unless the musical guest is named Gooch.

Speaker 82 And then you can say, ladies and gentlemen, Gooch.

Speaker 1 Gooch. Once again, Gooch.

Speaker 81 That would be a hack. Anyway,

Speaker 150 that's my thing. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a good one.

Speaker 82 Okay. Okay.
This is a woman in the notes.

Speaker 1 Listen. Okay.
Is that okay?

Speaker 79 Yes, of course it's okay.

Speaker 82 The greatest. Let me see.
Let me see.

Speaker 84 Okay. Take your notes.
All right.

Speaker 1 I'm ready. I'm ready.

Speaker 113 So this is Amy Poller's I don't think so honey.

Speaker 163 Her time starts now. Okay.

Speaker 1 I don't think so, honey, horror movies.

Speaker 159 Okay.

Speaker 163 Okay.

Speaker 1 Life Life is scary enough. I do not need to unlock a new fear.

Speaker 1 I have a very active amygdala. I have a decent amount of empathy.
I do not want to watch a young couple have to eat their own eyeballs to get out of a locked room. Okay.

Speaker 1 And don't tell me that it's about the rush of being in the same room with people and feeling social, because if you want to get that kind of like social bonding, you need to go to church.

Speaker 1 Not a horror movie. And by the way, church is another thing that i don't go to anymore as an adult because i've realized it's not for me yes there's three things that shorten your life um motorcycle

Speaker 1 agree with you um uh

Speaker 1 uh smoking and um violent images

Speaker 1 and then lastly this this also means pranks no pranks uh a uh uh a jump scare and a prank is a hate crime five seconds if you prank me that means you hate me the only devil that i want to see on the screen is the one that wears prada thank you and that's one minute as Lint.

Speaker 122 I am with you everywhere.

Speaker 89 So hard.

Speaker 144 I went to go see the movie drop.

Speaker 137 No.

Speaker 66 No. Never.

Speaker 144 Can I say I advocate for this movie because it wasn't that, and this is an all positivity.

Speaker 173 It wasn't that scary.

Speaker 78 It was a thrilling, suspenseful, not violent movie.

Speaker 76 You're talking about violent images.

Speaker 59 No.

Speaker 135 Yes. I am telling you.

Speaker 1 I don't like any kind of scare.

Speaker 91 No scare. When people die in a movie, it's sad.

Speaker 159 The world is too scary.

Speaker 1 The news is rough. I cannot handle it.
my nervous system cannot handle it and I could never handle it. And I just want to say this.
I did participate in pranks at one point in my life.

Speaker 1 The patriarchy comes for all of us. Yeah.

Speaker 79 We all,

Speaker 1 but I apologize and I have listened and learned and no more pranks for me.

Speaker 122 Honestly, we don't, we don't prank each other.

Speaker 79 We don't prank.

Speaker 82 Have we ever pranked each other?

Speaker 75 No, and I want to say, I would never do that to you.

Speaker 132 This is a real call out.

Speaker 74 There were some Instagram accounts.

Speaker 80 Diet Prada did a whole April Fools thing of like, this is the casting of the Britney Spears biopic, Ariana Grande, Troy Sevant, and people thought it was real.

Speaker 79 And I'm like, April Fools, let's just

Speaker 1 right now we can't afford it.

Speaker 82 No, no, no, we can't afford it.

Speaker 53 Because people really don't know anymore what's real and what's fake.

Speaker 180 And so to have a whole day of like fake as no, no.

Speaker 1 But like, when you look at the movies, it's like, what do you want to see? The gorge or baby in the basket?

Speaker 134 It's like,

Speaker 1 it's like, am I like, is this a punishment?

Speaker 135 Well, yes.

Speaker 173 I mean, it's literally punished.

Speaker 89 I think it's, well, there's a whole community of people whose whole whole thing is like, I'm going to go watch these movies where, like, with the final girl of it all.

Speaker 82 I know.

Speaker 96 That means only six or seven young women are dead.

Speaker 82 No.

Speaker 137 No.

Speaker 64 I hate when people die.

Speaker 144 You ever seen the movie Zodiac?

Speaker 159 I did.

Speaker 56 See, tough for me because there's that one horrible scene.

Speaker 137 I know.

Speaker 173 Where he comes and murders the couple in broad daylight.

Speaker 64 I know.

Speaker 136 Are you kidding me?

Speaker 118 And he's also real?

Speaker 64 Yes, it real.

Speaker 64 It happened.

Speaker 1 God. God.
Why do we have to make everything, a movie about everything that happened?

Speaker 64 True crime is so nasty.

Speaker 1 Why do we have to make it, if it was bad and it happened, let's not make a movie about it?

Speaker 143 We can read it. We read about it.

Speaker 1 We can read about it. We can listen to podcasts about it.

Speaker 213 See, but the podcasts are even worse sometimes because then it's like it's all happening in your head.

Speaker 99 You fill in the gaps.

Speaker 65 But the images.

Speaker 92 But are the images? Is this how you feel about true crime?

Speaker 1 Okay. So I had a moment, a true crime moment, you know, because I'm a white lady of a certain age.
So I did have a true crime moment, but I can't watch anything. I see.
I can read

Speaker 1 or listen, but I can't watch anything that's about true crime. Like any of those date, any,

Speaker 1 even softie stuff, like softball stuff, like I cannot watch it.

Speaker 74 Does softie stuff count as, does like cult stuff count as softie stuff?

Speaker 175 Cult.

Speaker 152 A cult documentary.

Speaker 1 Well, that one isn't as bad, but I don't understand people that join cults. Right.

Speaker 1 I can't relate.

Speaker 94 Even as an Enneagram 7.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was going to say, you have a high cult susceptibility.

Speaker 157 I'm probably the closest.

Speaker 82 I mean,

Speaker 1 I did like the one where the love is one. Yeah, because Mother is Resting is when she asked for the chicken Parmesan.

Speaker 137 I was just going to say, and this is my, he hasn't watched it, but I'm like, my selling point to him is like, there's this whole segment in an episode where they go through her recipes, like galactic taco salad.

Speaker 118 Like, I asked for the chicken parmesan.

Speaker 172 She's screaming at these people like, where's my chicken pie?

Speaker 157 Like, it's amazing.

Speaker 1 The term mother is resting is incredible.

Speaker 82 I just

Speaker 81 was talking in wing dings.

Speaker 82 Right.

Speaker 1 And everyone is sitting by her bed. And it's like, I don't get it.

Speaker 167 I don't get it.

Speaker 96 It's tough.

Speaker 129 I just didn't want to see.

Speaker 82 When I heard blue actually dead and blue in the first stream, I was like, that was really hard for me.

Speaker 135 I didn't want to see that. That was hard.

Speaker 70 I just got my head around watching.

Speaker 1 Yeah, cults are tough. But when a woman's in charge, it's a little bit more fun.

Speaker 99 That is why it's fun.

Speaker 95 I even get scared of like urban legends and conspiracy theories.

Speaker 1 Also, like when I was a kid, no spooky stories. I didn't like being scared.
I didn't like, I do not like that feeling.

Speaker 70 Oh, there was a show, Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Speaker 140 This was on Nickelodeon when I was a kid, and there was one episode with Tia and Tamara, who I loved.

Speaker 56 The storyline was.

Speaker 155 One of them gets like cursed and turns into a lizard, and then the lizard becomes the other one.

Speaker 129 So like, so it was this crazy situation where

Speaker 155 One of them was a lizard and one of them was a real girl.

Speaker 56 And they were played by Tia and Tamara.

Speaker 117 Tia was like real and Tamara was like the lizard who had become a human.

Speaker 103 And their best friend who they shared was like, had to spray one of them with a hose and the one they sprayed would turn into a lizard.

Speaker 67 And the girls were like, it's me, Tiffany. It's me.

Speaker 162 You know it's me.

Speaker 173 And she was like, Tiffany, don't you remember the times you would have at recess?

Speaker 128 You do.

Speaker 174 And then she was like,

Speaker 95 and it became a thing where she sprayed the one.

Speaker 78 There's There's a huge hug.

Speaker 89 The last scene of it is, we'll say it's Tia, has picked up the other lizard and goes, like, literally, she didn't say this.

Speaker 116 It was Nickelodeon, but she was basically like, bye, bitch, and threw her down a well, crushed her.

Speaker 140 And that was the real one.

Speaker 118 Terrifying.

Speaker 78 And that was children's entertainment.

Speaker 82 Entertainment.

Speaker 128 That aired after Sesame Street.

Speaker 85 That literally, they expected me as a child of the 90s to hold both these things.

Speaker 173 That like Miss Piggy is queen and also like Tia and Samira are at each other's fucking throats.

Speaker 95 One of them would see the other one dead crushed at the bottom of a well.

Speaker 173 And I, but that was entered.

Speaker 152 That was like children's entertainment.

Speaker 181 Oh, my God.

Speaker 78 That and the goosebumps books.

Speaker 82 Fuck off.

Speaker 152 No, fuck off. No, fuck off.
Fuck off.

Speaker 64 R.L.

Speaker 82 Stein.

Speaker 85 He was around UCB for a while.

Speaker 82 Do you know that?

Speaker 104 He came to a lot of bass cats.

Speaker 86 He came to me.

Speaker 64 He was like.

Speaker 64 He was.

Speaker 82 I remember one time I was going in maybe to do Moggy.

Speaker 65 He was like Goosebumps

Speaker 82 Well, I think it was.

Speaker 122 I think it was like he had been part of like a spank or something.

Speaker 174 Or like something was the name of a show.

Speaker 82 Which is the name of the show.

Speaker 151 We were coming in to do mod night and they were like, everybody's dying is here.

Speaker 90 Yeah, this is where it gets inside base.

Speaker 82 We had a spank.

Speaker 5 We had a fun spank.

Speaker 112 Oh, we did.

Speaker 152 We got a run.

Speaker 143 We got a run out of it.

Speaker 82 Oh, you did? You're the best.

Speaker 82 Bo gave us a run. Bo gave us a run.

Speaker 116 Capruleft's Amazing Earth.

Speaker 162 Nice.

Speaker 99 Maybe it's on YouTube.

Speaker 75 Maybe it's on YouTube.

Speaker 100 Well, damn.

Speaker 1 I mean, this is so fun.

Speaker 65 It was a good hang. It was a good hang.

Speaker 95 Congrats on having the most successful podcast in the landscape.

Speaker 1 Thank you. I hope someday you'll want to do it.

Speaker 82 We will want to do it.

Speaker 1 Come on. It would be my absolute joy if I could.

Speaker 86 You've been killing it.

Speaker 16 And I mean, truly.

Speaker 82 Any advice?

Speaker 1 You know, we talked about advice before we leave. Any advice for me?

Speaker 101 Don't change a thing about it. Okay.

Speaker 74 The reason we've done this for so long is because it's basically formally the same thing as episode one.

Speaker 101 Don't add too many bells and whistles.

Speaker 76 I was going to say what you've innovated on in the podcast is starting out with that panel discussion with the people who know your guests.

Speaker 46 I'm like, that's so damn

Speaker 160 smart.

Speaker 73 And just keep it exactly the same. Don't change a thing.

Speaker 1 Don't overthink it.

Speaker 81 That's the

Speaker 140 like over time, we accumulated more people because we started as like, you know, doing our own thing.

Speaker 119 You started it and immediately was like the, the, the, like.

Speaker 70 everyone came and like, you know, started listening.

Speaker 153 But over time, people started to have like notes for it.

Speaker 78 And that's when you're like, oh, that's because everyone's going to want something different from it.

Speaker 140 So, I would just say, like, keep it fun for you.

Speaker 85 And, like, everyone's going to want something different for it.

Speaker 150 Like, I like it when it's people from SNL, or like, I want

Speaker 151 it to this, or I like when it's like anecdotes or this.

Speaker 81 Like, just keep having fun.

Speaker 1 Stay true to yourself.

Speaker 82 Yeah.

Speaker 134 Just listen to that.

Speaker 82 Some of the most boring advice.

Speaker 1 No, but it's true. Listen to your instinct.
What is your space?

Speaker 152 Redford. Yeah, Redford.

Speaker 97 Redford.

Speaker 100 Redford.

Speaker 112 Alan Aldo.

Speaker 162 And Alan Alda.

Speaker 1 70s Queens.

Speaker 84 Well, we had every episode with the song.

Speaker 175 Oh. What is the song?

Speaker 165 Hmm.

Speaker 82 It comes.

Speaker 167 It's coming.

Speaker 165 Hold on.

Speaker 82 Hello, hello, baby.

Speaker 66 You called, I can't hear a thing.

Speaker 95 I've got no service in the club.

Speaker 66 You see, you see.

Speaker 82 What did you say?

Speaker 78 Oh, you're breaking up on me.

Speaker 87 Sorry, I cannot hear you.

Speaker 82 I'm kind of busy.

Speaker 84 Kind of busy.

Speaker 213 Maybe Beyonce will will come out this weekend when we're there.

Speaker 64 Ooh.

Speaker 64 Bye-bye.

Speaker 127 Lost Culture Racist is the production by Will Farrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts.

Speaker 84 Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 47 Executive and produced by Anna Hosnier and produced by Becca Ramos. Edited and mixed by Doug Babe and Monique LeBord.

Speaker 190 And our music is by Henry Komersky.

Speaker 3 Ever ask yourself, what am I capable of?

Speaker 18 Ford believes only you can answer that, even if others try to do it for you.

Speaker 13 You're the one who defines your legacy, chases the horizon, engineers your dreams, conquers the curves.

Speaker 21 That capability, it's in you, just like it's built into every F-150, Bronco, Mustang, and every other Ford vehicle.

Speaker 22 Because whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.

Speaker 24 Ready?

Speaker 20 Set.

Speaker 25 Ford.

Speaker 26 Visit Ford.com to learn more.

Speaker 33 We're talking about the food Easters, the theateristas, the naturistas, the luxuristas.

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Speaker 127 Big news: Aldi is now on Uber Eats, and you get 40% off your first order with code NewAldi25.

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Speaker 62 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 This is an iHeart podcast.

“I’m The Party” (w/ Amy Poehler)

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Transcript

More episodes from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang

Introducing: CrimeLess

"Elevated Messy" (w/ Rachel Sennott)

"The Protagonist" (w/ Heather Gay)

“Drinkin' The Soda” (w/ Brittany Snow)

"All Up In The Macabre" (w/ Sarah Paulson)