"Monstro SarahNicole" (w/ Sarah Sherman)

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Speaker 1 Look, man.

Speaker 1 Oh, I see. My IOI.
Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that the culture? Yes, goodness.
Wow. Last cultureistas.

Speaker 1 Ding dong. Las culturistas calling.

Speaker 1 We needed some laughter today. Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 On a week like this, I used to dream of better days. I used to dream, and I hoped I'd never wake up.

Speaker 1 I had my first amazing sleep of, I guess the year, but I guess the last like six months. Oh, I've been sleeping so bad.

Speaker 1 What would you attribute your good sleep to? No more eye mask. No more.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're not using it anymore? It's crazy. I think it's the winter time.
This is so deeply boring to talk about.

Speaker 1 Then let's just skip it. Let's skip.
We need to talk about

Speaker 1 it. No, no, no, no, no.
I don't like the posture. I don't like the posture that you have right now.

Speaker 1 You're a frog ass bitch. You're a frog ass bitch.
Because I have an explanation as to why I'm sitting like this.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. And so why don't we just use

Speaker 1 the first thing you wanted to say in quotes? Is this the first thing? Sarah brought a gun to the studio. That's what she wanted us to say.

Speaker 1 You better, I have a first thing to say, and you better ask me again, even though this is not what we do with our repeat guests. Ask me again what was the culture of the culturist for me.

Speaker 1 What's your explanation for this? I have to sit like this because, as you know, I came to the studio today with a triangle head. Which means.

Speaker 1 Is my hair a triangle? A pyramid head? Like in Silent Hill? I couldn't tell if you wanted to be told yes or no. I just like, no.

Speaker 1 If you guys were my friends, you would be like, girl, you do have triangle heads in eye, but that's okay. And just rock it.
I told you what you have. You have, it's not a triangle shape.

Speaker 1 It's an isosahedron. A 20-sided figure.
Not the name. Because I said

Speaker 1 an isosahedron.

Speaker 1 Boots.

Speaker 1 Can you look that up? 20-sided. A 20-sided figure.
Something is an isosahedron.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. I thought you were kidding for being hilarious.

Speaker 1 I don't know if it ever been okay.

Speaker 1 I thought it was Sagan.

Speaker 1 I saw Sagan? I saw Sagan. I saw the TV Sagan.

Speaker 1 I saw the TV glow sagon. I saw the TV glow sagon.
I had a drink the other night. I sauced Sagong.
Sure.

Speaker 1 Our guest is a cast now. We're on Saturday Night Live.
She's been on the show before.

Speaker 1 She is, you know, just one of our great friends. One of our great friends.
Although, this is, can I just say the power of the room, directed by Jane Champion?

Speaker 1 The power of the room, this is the first time the three of us have been in the room together. No! Well, you know what happened?

Speaker 1 I took a very short hiatus. I believe it was a one-episode hiatus.
Because you were in Vegas in Kelly Clark's. I was in Vegas doing my thing,

Speaker 1 and you were the guest. And I was like, great.

Speaker 1 Now I have to have her turn obviously right back around and come back. That's actually crazy.
Why?

Speaker 1 Because there was one episode you weren't on, and it just happened to be the episode that your sister was on. I know.

Speaker 1 Long Island. I really like it.
it. Long island.
Runner.

Speaker 1 Running.

Speaker 1 We like the same things. I guess your thing is going to Vegas to see Kelly Clarkson.
It was yours. It could be yours too.
You want to come? I'm going again to see Mariah Shania. Oh, I'm going.

Speaker 1 I literally just found out that I'm available and I'm going. Mariah Shania, does that mean I am available too?

Speaker 1 Yes, it means you're available too. You want to come?

Speaker 1 Come. Wait, Vegas? Vegas lost.
We're going to have such a ball. Vegas.
I'm a lost.

Speaker 1 Sarah's favorite thing is. And let's examine this.
It could be troubling is she always, every week is going, we're blacking out this week at the after party.

Speaker 1 By the way, first of all, never once happens. And number two, guess how much it takes me to blackout? Maybe four and a half point two sips of one gin and toxic.
Oh, he's favorite or not a tank at all.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, not a Sherman tank, as they would like to think. Pancakes on the ceiling after a sip.

Speaker 1 You're kidding me.

Speaker 1 That's disgusting.

Speaker 1 To black out immediately? I thought, wait, is pancakes on the ceiling meaning you throw it so hard projectile it hits the ceiling and never comes

Speaker 1 home? It seems like random sauce.

Speaker 1 Wait, what's the reason you were sitting like that? So I could just like kind of like, you wouldn't really see the triangle. There's no triangle,

Speaker 1 you know what I'm saying? Like, guys, that's the same thing. It's an isostahedron, the correct name of

Speaker 1 it.

Speaker 1 It's not an isostagon. She clearly, Sebecca clearly said she couldn't pronounce it.
She threw a bunch of sounds together in her mouth and wished her. Rebecca explained it.
That's for sure. Rebecca.

Speaker 1 I've never even thought of you as being a Rebecca. You're Becca.
This is how

Speaker 1 Wait, your necklace literally not to be like. Oh, whoa, she's wearing a Rebecca necklace.
Yeah. Because my mother was like, this is my gift to you in very Latin fashion.

Speaker 1 I'm going to give you a giant gold

Speaker 1 with your name on it. With your name on it.
Government name. Okay.

Speaker 1 But I always go by Becca. Okay.
It's very formal to me to be a Rebecca. Rebecca.
It's sort of like how you forget that my full name is Matthew.

Speaker 1 If you really think about it for even two seconds, you'll remember.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 But you wouldn't have known. Well, wait until you find out about the power of Sarah Nicole.
Sarah Nicole.

Speaker 1 Sarah Nicole should be your stage name.

Speaker 1 Sarah Nicole. That's my alley.

Speaker 1 It's like your alley.

Speaker 1 It's like, I just want to see like an Angelina-s photo and like all over it with just Sarah Nicole. You big titties.

Speaker 1 Rocking

Speaker 1 out.

Speaker 1 I want a Rebecca nameplay that says Jewish American Princess while I'm Sarah Nicole. Nicole present

Speaker 1 pump it up with Sarah Nicole Jewish American Princess.

Speaker 1 Don't you know pump it up

Speaker 1 everyone please welcome into your ears Sarah Sherman Sarah Triangle Sherman Sarah Triangle

Speaker 1 Sarah Nicole what was the first thing you had to say

Speaker 1 that was it the triangle I tried to get it out of the way I tried to because I knew everybody was going to be like sorry your readers are going to be opening the book and seeing that I what personally I don't like fun of it I don't like the way that you you bitch.

Speaker 1 You had poison venom wrapped around every word of that. Your traders are going to open the book.

Speaker 1 I'm feeling naughty today. Okay, so Sarah.

Speaker 1 So, something I can't stop thinking about as we're watching the new season of The Traitors is Sarah has boiled it down to that show basically being people saying to each other

Speaker 1 people saying to each other this, this,

Speaker 1 you're being evil.

Speaker 1 You're being evil.

Speaker 1 all reality and like pretense melts away and they forget when all pretense.

Speaker 1 But it's like they're forgetting that it's a game. Right.
No, I love that. I love when the lines blur and people are really crying hard and feel betrayed.

Speaker 1 Like when, okay, so spoiler alert for the traders, if you haven't watched it, we're going to talk a little bit about it. When Tony got voted out, I was like, you're Russella.
You're Rostella.

Speaker 1 You're Russella. You're a cop.

Speaker 1 Shut up.

Speaker 1 You got a vote. I was last year because he was so overwhelmed.
Oh my God. Yes.
I forgot to jump out the boxer. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And that was like the encapsulation of the problem, which is like people, if they're forgetting that it's a game and they're like, literally,

Speaker 1 you're literally being evil. And I'm thinking you're

Speaker 1 evil. And your behavior is evil, and it's been evil ever since the traitors were chosen.

Speaker 1 Ever since Alan made his choice. I love whenever they say since Alan made his choice.
Like, as if Alan coming himself is actually picking.

Speaker 1 But there's something important in the tone that Sarah is embodying, which is, you're being evil. You're being evil right now.
Wait, do you guys think, like, it's like, Dorin is acting evil right now?

Speaker 1 Dorinda's acting really evil. And it's like forgetting the fact that it was.
Well, that's why they have to say Alan Cumming chose. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So that they remember that evil is not inherent. It's construction.
It's a construction.

Speaker 1 Because then they get lost in the songs and they go like, they start crying. They're like, I have to leave because evil is afoot.
Do you think that people can't? Well, here's the question.

Speaker 1 Do you believe people are born wicked or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?

Speaker 1 And this actually goes into the other second thing I had to say

Speaker 1 with coming into the studio with a gun. We didn't even know you had a second thing.
Right. You didn't tell us your information.
We just knew there was a first.

Speaker 1 Well, remember when I said I texted you guys and I was like, so when are you going to ask me? Like, what culture is for me? We already asked you the first time you were on the show.

Speaker 1 You're just third appearance.

Speaker 1 Quite frankly, we've had it. Pee wee, we understand.
Peewee. Do you want to talk about it again? There is a different, and it explains actually how I feel about the nature of good and evil.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay. Because actually, and you.
So what was the culture that made you say culture was for you, Sarah?

Speaker 1 Tell us. Tell us.

Speaker 1 This is the laughing episode.

Speaker 1 It's the worst one.

Speaker 1 Literally. Well, it can be explained.
Let's just take a moment because we're about to miss the worldwide meditation because we're recording this podcast in honor of David Lynch's memory.

Speaker 1 I was just going to say, you're the perfect person to have on this week for talking about David Lynch. For so many reasons.
Because it's the laughing episode. It's the laughing episode.

Speaker 1 The substance is about to rack up lots of Osprey. It's It's about to rack.

Speaker 1 I think I was literally thinking, I was sitting on the toilet as I, you know, as I do, as we all do. Where you do your best thinking and shitting.
Of course.

Speaker 1 And actually, did you find out? That's what I was going to say. What? Did you know you're not supposed to sit on the toilet for longer than 10 minutes? Have you ever

Speaker 1 heard of something more unfair? It's really, it's such a beautiful place to start. It's the best place to remain.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I love remaining there.

Speaker 1 I sit there sometimes and I'm like, I'm going to remain. Remain.
Not exit, remain. No, I will remain.
What am I thinking of What remains? Is that an Oprah's bestseller? What remains?

Speaker 1 Oprah's bestseller. Is that an Oprah's bestseller? What remains? Do you anyone have the capability of Google? You're thinking of what lies beneath.
What lies beneath?

Speaker 1 You're thinking of what happened by Hillary Clinton,

Speaker 1 which was about the election. But you're thinking of what to do.
I've got to do. I've got to do.

Speaker 1 What remains? Oh, awesome. What remains?

Speaker 1 I think you're thinking of.

Speaker 1 So there's a film from 2022 that's

Speaker 1 how.

Speaker 1 You're thinking of The Good Earth by Pearl S. Bowen.
I legit think that's what I'm thinking.

Speaker 1 So what was the culture that made you say culture? I do think, I really, I think we do have to be taking a moment for Last Cultural East to say David Lynch. Okay, so I think

Speaker 1 I basically know nothing.

Speaker 1 I am so illiterate with David Lynch. We've actually been saying now for several months that we're going to get into Twin Peaks.
You should.

Speaker 1 You know why you guys should? You love beautiful women and you love intrigue. Love.
Yeah, that's actually true. That's actually so true.

Speaker 1 And I don't want to spoil anything, but basically, in the larger, in the three-season arc of Twin Peaks, you guys are looking at me so seriously.

Speaker 1 Because you're an Andrew expert.

Speaker 1 I just think that it's like you guys really take women's voices seriously.

Speaker 1 You literally go, you guys are being evil.

Speaker 1 You guys are being evil. You guys are actually like really evil.
Do you think you'd be a good trader or a bad trader? You'd be an amazing trader. I think I would.

Speaker 1 No, because remember, every time in a sketch, I have to act serious. Well, you're like Carolyn in a way.
Like, you're like, you're so hard to pin down. Thank you for saying that.

Speaker 1 It's like, she's acting crazy.

Speaker 1 She's a genius.

Speaker 1 It's like, you're both the same. And that way, everyone's like, oh, Sarah's being Sarah, but in fact, she is deep down a genius.
But do the face that I do when I'm trying to act serious.

Speaker 1 This is, this is, if you tell Sarah she has to like be like serious or keep a straight face in a sketch, this is the best she can do.

Speaker 1 Can I tell you? I noticed it. You doing a straight man roll is my favorite thing.

Speaker 1 Because it's like, we are on stage doing a comedy show, by the way. And we're supposed to be serious.

Speaker 1 But Sarah is truly joy personified.

Speaker 1 And then, like, I happen to to be laughing and then they're like oh you're in a court scene and so i'm like

Speaker 1 can you do your court face please

Speaker 1 but sarah was in the nosferatu prosthetics this saturday she's slayed by the way and then meanwhile like it's she's supposed to look terrifying but everyone's like That's the most adorable person I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 Ruben McAllister did call me at 10 a.m. the next morning and said, did you know that you actually looked like a supermodel? Was it insane? You did.
You were so captivating.

Speaker 1 You've never looked more beautiful. I was like,

Speaker 1 that Did you know you actually looked at a model?

Speaker 1 And I was like, no, I know. My arms look so skinny.
It was like insane. Because, like,

Speaker 1 when you have a hunchback, it kind of does the optical illusion where it's like your arm actually starts healing. Oh, you do like the Leah Michelle thing.
Like, do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 She can't do that. You were monster.

Speaker 1 But, like, skinny, chic, hot. Right.
Cigarette dangling from the lips. Nas Fisera.
Nas Fisera. Monstro Nasfa.
Heroin chic. Nas Fisera, too.

Speaker 1 Monstro Nasfisera. Monstro Sarah Nicolsu.

Speaker 1 Title of Epp. Title of P.
Monstro Sarah Nicole. When you say title of Ep, like, this is how I know you're a professional.
The way it rolls off the tongue, like, without barrier.

Speaker 1 That's how you know he's a professional. That's how you know I'm a professional.
The way it rolls off my tongue. I know when we get the title.
And Monstro Sarah Nicole is the title.

Speaker 1 The first thing that happens when I'm having a laughing attack is sweating before laughing coming out of my mouth. That's amazing.

Speaker 1 You can probably see it glistening and think it's like a dewy sheen, but I'm profusely sweating because I'm laughing so hard. Wait, on sweating.

Speaker 1 Just to talk about the traders one more time. What is going on with Sandra Paul? Oh, I think he's on like crack.

Speaker 1 Is he having some sort of withdrawal? It's something. Oh, it's withdrawal.
That's what it is. Because he hears the Vanderpump rules.
He never acts like that.

Speaker 1 He goes to a Scottish palace where they have no phones. He has to travel internationally.
Yeah. And then suddenly.
You can't bring the drugs in there.

Speaker 1 He couldn't sit still, and he's sweating so much more than totally. Yes.
Can I tell you guys actually something that I was too afraid to admit like four minutes ago?

Speaker 1 You don't have to be afraid in here.

Speaker 1 As soon as they spoiler alert,

Speaker 1 as soon as they stop watching!

Speaker 1 As soon as they voted off to Rinda, I literally, this was, I was watching with my boyfriend. I went like this.

Speaker 1 What's this?

Speaker 1 I can't keep. I can't hold my attention.
It was actually really rough because they voted out some good people really quickly.

Speaker 1 That is fucked up. The survivor people that have gone, it's kind of a shame.
Yeah. Wait, who? Because then Tony and Jeremy.
Jeremy, yeah. Tony?

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. That's crazy.
Are you not caught up? No, I'm not kidding. Every time my boyfriend, and I'm straight, by the way.

Speaker 1 That's okay. Don't let the shirt betray you.
I'm standing with my straight girl.

Speaker 1 We all chose smash into this.

Speaker 1 What did I say about your shirt? Tell that. Misgiving SpongeBob.
Because look. Oh, that's what you meant.
Yeah, no, I was like, where

Speaker 1 I was like, what SpongeBob is this? Is it a Sponge-like? I thought she was like, it looks like a ton of damn. I'm like, oh, you thought I was calling you like random.

Speaker 1 You thought you were just being a bitch.

Speaker 1 Let's take back what I said about how you guys feel about women.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. It's really touch and go.
I'm a massage. I'm a gay guys.
Huh? I don't think so many gay guys. What about us? What about gay guys? Go at Dawn.

Speaker 1 Rights being taken away. You know, it's not just Katie's that Some gay guys do listen still.
Hot ones, too. Yeah, Kyle's.
That's Kyle.

Speaker 1 There's a subgroup that we actually, we said that we would officially induct them. No, we can't have five?

Speaker 1 What do you mean? They said we couldn't have two. They said we couldn't have three.
They said we couldn't have four.

Speaker 1 Kyle's. Welcome.
Welcome. Kyle.

Speaker 1 We love the Kyle. I'm obsessed with you guys.
It's crazy. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 I think about Sarah every day and I smile. I have nothing to contribute to the conversation because I just want to sit here and smile.
Shut up. I just want to go guys.

Speaker 1 Can I tell you who'd be so furious about that? Oh, the Kyles.

Speaker 1 They want to hear from you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're you're

Speaker 1 that you're a gay icon. Are you? I'm not kidding.
Like, I don't take that lightly. And I don't, you should have.
If you did, that would be fucked up.

Speaker 1 Especially now in the time that we're in. He's sworn in, like, right.
He's getting sworn in. Like, right.
Oh, no, I watched the whole thing. How is he serving? Can I tell you something?

Speaker 1 Here's my three takeaways. It was hell and like a funeral.

Speaker 1 two one nice thing i'll say i did like melania's hat

Speaker 1 three carrie underwood sounded bad oh and for all of that to go down and for her to sound strained and shouty really yeah it was not good and are you a carrie girl or i can't say i i was never

Speaker 1 really a carry girl i've never really given her proppers on this show i you want to know what it is i've always not had the best feeling on the vibes yeah yeah the vibes have always been weird.

Speaker 1 But does this make you go buyer's remorse on Bo Bice? Do we as a culture need to bring Bobis back? Well, I was a Vonzell Solomon girly from the beginning.

Speaker 1 I love Vonzell. And I love Vonzell.
And Vonzel was the singer for Game Show on Pooh.

Speaker 1 Period. Wait, who was Long Hair? Bo Bice.

Speaker 1 I got my first period while Bo Bice

Speaker 1 was on.

Speaker 1 And that's the culture that made you say, Menarchy, I'm bleeding.

Speaker 1 And then I acted like it wasn't happening.

Speaker 1 Do you remember what song you were singing?

Speaker 1 It was always some variation of your paper.

Speaker 1 Mama, let me go to Hannah Cole. Mama, I'm just a handle.
I guess around.

Speaker 1 Was it that? Because the way that just sent like a reptilian chills to the base of my spine.

Speaker 1 He had a brown suede jacket on and was holding a guitar. He was always low when it happened.
Tone on tone. Perfectly like flat ironed hair, like really straight stuff.

Speaker 1 When you guys said Bobis, I thought the guy with the gray hair was hot. Taylor Hicks.
Taylor Hicks. He was hot to you.
Sarah's. Sarah, you need to describe your perfect looking man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, describe your perfect man. Do you know what I think it is? I want to preface this by saying, I think because I've been a lot of prefacing and pretensing today.

Speaker 1 I think because my boyfriend

Speaker 1 strange. Straight.

Speaker 1 Put your weapons down.

Speaker 1 Put your weapons down. I come in peace, gay guys.

Speaker 1 They're called Kyles.

Speaker 1 I come in peace, Kyle's and Katie's like Emariah's and Shania's.

Speaker 1 They're not listening.

Speaker 1 Mariah forgot she did this.

Speaker 1 Deathbed vibes, when y'all are on your deathbed like this

Speaker 1 angel style, you can go like, we did that. Yeah.
You know, period. Well, we're going to say we ate that.

Speaker 1 And like. When we're 79.

Speaker 1 We're still going to be like, twerk and servants like, we ate that down.

Speaker 1 We tore. Deathbed for you two is going to be 115 years old.
I can actually see it. I can see it.
I don't want to live that long. He's going to look the same.
I'm going to look like Nosferat

Speaker 1 and not the chic heroin chic. Honey, I'm so old.
I'm Nosfera 3. Oh,

Speaker 1 bitch. Damn, you dragged yourself there.
Old bitch.

Speaker 1 Oh bitch.

Speaker 1 I'm so sad.

Speaker 1 Okay, wait. So we were on a thing.
The perfect man. The perfect man.

Speaker 1 I think because Taylor Hicks.

Speaker 1 Because I think my beautiful, long-suffering boyfriend is so

Speaker 1 like, he's so like standard, cute, attractive. So, lovely.
And you know, he invented a new term. What? It's cutiful.
It's when something's cute and beautiful. Isn't that beautiful? Isn't that lovely?

Speaker 1 Cutiful. That's really good.
Isn't that crazy? Where's he from? We want to hear about him.

Speaker 1 Where's he from, originally? Where's he from? South South of Chicago.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 And like, he's from a town called Flossmore, so, of course, you get built-in jokes like, I wish you'd Flossmore. less.
Oh,

Speaker 1 why? I don't want to do that. Bleeding?

Speaker 1 I don't floss. You don't.
You're a liar. I don't.
You have the nicest teeth in show business. So just goes to show what they're telling you is not true.
You don't have to do it.

Speaker 1 Oh, but did you ever have braces? No. You're lying.
And some people think I have crooked teeth, but it's because I talk out of one side of my mouth.

Speaker 1 With a smirk. Like Rachel Maddow, something I found out when I had to do my research, of course.
You ate that, by the way.

Speaker 1 No, by the way, you know I, the second my toe came off stage, every single person was like, ha, ha, you messed up all your words. Fuck who said that.
Who said that? Everyone said that.

Speaker 1 It's live television. Try saying MSNBC 10 times fast.
MSNBC, MSNBC, MSNNBC. Oh, okay.
I had to say it one time and I said MSNBAB.

Speaker 1 You're trying not to say it. You could do it if you really applied yourself.

Speaker 1 You were straining so hard playing a lesbian because you're such a straggit. I think that's what happened.
And then my brain just started like fritzing out. You are a straggit.
You really are.

Speaker 1 I literally thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
Can I ask you something? Before you got emotional when we said that you were a gay icon and that you really don't take it lightly.

Speaker 1 I just talk about that.

Speaker 1 Because,

Speaker 1 I mean, not to be like this. Please.
Who do you think besides David Lynch built culture as we know it? Gay guys. Literally.
I was going to say Oprah. It feels like you took that away from her.

Speaker 1 From black women.

Speaker 1 That sucks for you to rob black women of that and especially this week does anyone know

Speaker 1 it really is really hurtful didn't she okay

Speaker 1 i dreamed this or it was real okay does and i'm not gonna look it up because that's i don't need to be like interfacing with screens right now

Speaker 1 didn't she have an episode where she had a bunch of pedophiles on

Speaker 1 Well, she had an episode where she had a bunch of pedophiles on. And then I think she had another episode where she had like victims.

Speaker 1 Oh, victims of like. Today we're hearing the other side.

Speaker 1 I just have this like strong memory of her being like, I was like two or whatever, like this big. And there was like a bunch of pedophiles on.

Speaker 1 She was like, it sucks that you guys want to have sex with kids. And then I was like watching being like, that does suck.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. That sucks.

Speaker 1 I agree with Oprah. I have to say,

Speaker 1 in this dialogue, I'm Team Oprah. I'm Team Oprah.
It just sucks.

Speaker 1 Teams suck.

Speaker 1 Meanwhile, me being eight, being like, I wish an adult wanted to have sex with me.

Speaker 1 I was in love with all my teachers. Hey.
Were you really?

Speaker 1 Of course. I was like, precocious little bitch.

Speaker 1 Who was the one?

Speaker 1 Wow. And he's moaning and grossing.
So is this out of shame or out of pure sexual frustration? It is just like...

Speaker 1 Sweating in your other lips.

Speaker 1 Jesus. Hello, nurse.
Hello, nurse. I'm afraid of saying his full name because you could find him.
No, no, no, no, no. Don't say his full name.
Just say what he taught and what his vibe was.

Speaker 1 I had an English teacher. This is gonna send you guys to

Speaker 1 the moon in a not SpaceX rocket ship, in a normal rocket ship. Okay, normal one that uses American gas, drill, baby drill, something Trump said today at the inauguration.
About what?

Speaker 1 I don't about fracking. That sounds like a baby drill.

Speaker 1 Anyway, what were you saying? Okay, so this teacher, English teacher, English teacher, he had a gray and red long beard. Okay.

Speaker 1 Red, gray hair combed over to the side, much like our president. Combed over.
Age demographic? 100. Like legit 100 years old.
Every day would wear like a Snoopy tie and would the character Snoopy?

Speaker 1 The character Snoopy. Humor.
A funny little tie.

Speaker 1 And he, me and my best friend in high school, Emily, would sit in the parking lot and watch him smoke his pipe in his car during lunch break and just be like, that is so fucking hot it's giving what's the guy's name um the giver the giver it's giving the giver oh my god

Speaker 1 giving the giver and i was i was saying vincent van go in my head not not dissimilar not he actually quite looked like him who's the watchman guy alan uh more alan moore

Speaker 1 it's giving alan more with a snoopy tie

Speaker 1 that's hot and he would smoke a fucking pipe in his car and me and emily would just like watch him in his car and be like are you still in touch with emily oh of course yeah emily hello if you're listening this is the thing about Long Island is that y'all keep in touch with high school definitely I touched with my friend Allison last night and said hey I said hey well because we had a mutual friend at the birthday party we were at oh cute oh

Speaker 1 and said you're like let's go to Roosevelt Field get our ears pierced oh my god I wish I could go to Roosevelt Field but it was it was too far were you all women mall no I was um sunrise mall like South Shore vibes you are so I have to give respect to you because like honestly something crazier to even more iconic to say than you're a a gay icon.

Speaker 1 You are an actual Long Island legend. Like, you are not from, we're fucking around Long Island.
You are from like Long Island, Long Island. Oh, I'm for real.
Yeah, he's for real.

Speaker 1 I'm definitely for real. You're new to this? He's true to this.

Speaker 1 I'm always new to this. Anytime I go to Long Island, I go, whoa.

Speaker 1 It's no one knows what happened to us. Yeah.
It's so crazy, the things that we saw, the things that we did. Yeah, and the things that we, you know, aspired to be.

Speaker 1 Name the craziest thing from children.

Speaker 1 I mean, just what did you say? Nikki Blonsky. Nikki Blonsky.

Speaker 1 She's a Lyle on Legend.

Speaker 1 Her mom once came up to me. You're kidding.
Wait, I actually have the chills around.

Speaker 1 Nikki Blonsky's mother came up to you when she came up to me at my school. I think she came to my school

Speaker 1 to perform. And she

Speaker 1 felt like they were scouting. And I was like.
For hairspray? Oh my god, that's perfect.

Speaker 1 What did she say? You didn't even hear her penny.

Speaker 1 That's fucking fucking little shop.

Speaker 1 What did she say?

Speaker 1 Who knows?

Speaker 1 The movie Mickey Watson was shit.

Speaker 1 What did she say?

Speaker 1 Me doing like two

Speaker 1 musical songs.

Speaker 1 We gotta take her to a Broadway show. Sarah.
I just know I would die for Kinky Boots.

Speaker 1 We had a Kinky Boots sketch idea. What was our kinky? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 Why was it? Why didn't it make it?

Speaker 1 We wanted a sequel to the Shrek the Musical, especially with Terra. What was the Kinky Boots bit going to be? You come out with the boot on your feet.

Speaker 1 You were clearly putting on the kinky boots.

Speaker 1 What is it? Matilde, you clearly put on the kinky boots. Writing that sketch was a highlight of my life.
It's so rare to channel. Oh, we channeled.

Speaker 1 Did you? To let the muse visit you. We literally plopped it down in one run and we were like, it's perfect.
Have you ever seen Hamilton the musical?

Speaker 1 I know that. How could a bastard orphan? That's not, you would love it.
Really? It's a great show. It's a great show when there's, and also, if nothing else, like, it's production value.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I don't, don't get me started on that because I'm feeling really emotional about production value lately. What's what's going on? What do you think on that? It's just like, give it to me.

Speaker 1 And I'm not, you guys know who you are who aren't giving giving it to me. Just in general,

Speaker 1 I want to see lights, camera, sound, sets, costume. Can we get really into this, though? We watched the substance together, and I did think of you a lot.

Speaker 1 Did you love that movie? I basically loved it more than words can even express. Same.
And I finally watched that 30-minute featurette that's on YouTube. So good.

Speaker 1 You have to check that out if you haven't. Fucking holding the camera, running backwards, posing everyone down with blood.
I'm like, that's, if you want to know how it's done, that's how it's done.

Speaker 1 You need to work with her.

Speaker 1 Literally, let this be a message.

Speaker 1 Do you want to talk about this? Coralie, I love you.

Speaker 1 And what you've done, and what you will continue to do, and what has happened, and what will soon be happening all over until like the perpetuity till the end of time. Like,

Speaker 1 what was I saying?

Speaker 1 You were saying a lot, and all of it is impacting exactly. She's hearing one of them.

Speaker 1 Coralie, you did it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You did it.
Can I correct you?

Speaker 1 You did that. You did that.
That. That.

Speaker 1 When it kept going. Oh, when it just kept going.
Perfect. And then the teeth and then the ears and then the blood hose and the music and the lights, camera, sound, costume, whatever.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 As we were just saying,

Speaker 1 it didn't for one second stop. It gave us everything relentlessly and more.

Speaker 1 It's

Speaker 1 a perfect film. It's a perfect film.
It's hilarious down. Yeah, down.

Speaker 1 It's, as you say, Feast for the Eyes. Feast for the Eyes.
It's everything. It was.
She's my favorite. She's everything.
Yeah. There's been little meetings.

Speaker 1 Listen. You've met a couple times.
We met one time. Oh, really? I was struck by her beauty.
Yes, she is. She's gorgeous.
She's stunning. And she's hilarious.
Yeah. When did you meet her?

Speaker 1 I've been like stalking her for real because I just like, I'm like, you're amazing. Were you a fan prior to seeing the substance? Like, did you see Revenge? I love Revenge.
Yeah. And I love

Speaker 1 every,

Speaker 1 you know, when you like see someone's movie and you're like, I hope, see, words escape me, that's how much I care.

Speaker 1 Yeah, oh, that's and like, you could just see, like, it's like, she's such a like fan of horror movies, too.

Speaker 1 And so it's like, as a fan of the thing, as a fan of like Basket Case or whatever, you watch that movie and you're like, yay, thank you. This feels like a Christmas tree.
Oh, yeah, that's amazing.

Speaker 1 I know. And just like, I,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 She's just, listen, I'm just a- You're at a loss for words. I'm at a loss for words.
Were you a Demi and Margaret fan prior to this, or did this expose you to their gifts?

Speaker 1 Both of them fans. Yeah.
Both of them fans, but like

Speaker 1 now I am on my knees forever in their debt. Yeah.
Basically, I'd like to see their names called tomorrow. Yeah.
I hope so too. Who's calling? Do you know who's calling? I'm calling.

Speaker 1 Bowen and Rachel Sennett are announcing their Oscar nominations. Can you fucking believe that? Big day for Union Hall.
That is. We said a huge huge day for Union Hall.

Speaker 1 Union Hall truly won.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh. And that was a good thing.

Speaker 1 Wait, it's you're going tomorrow. No, no.
This comes out Wednesday, and then I'm going to be, I'm literally leaving read-through and catching a plane to LA. And then Thursday morning, 5:30 a.m.

Speaker 1 PT, we're announcing, and then I got to fly back for a while. I think I wouldn't miss it.
I think it's such an honor to be able to do it. No, I know.
I'm so honored.

Speaker 1 It's like literally the coolest thing. I love that.
I aspire to announce the nominations one day. Jesse Smallins things.
He always does. Smallins.
You, Smallin, because you're not. Just see Smallin'.

Speaker 1 Well, first of all, we're not talking about him harmful individuals today. Who gave us a laugh? If we're talking about the laughing.
Oh, he gave us a laugh.

Speaker 1 There's a couple laughs.

Speaker 1 It's like he goes, oh, like, I'm going to be announcing the Oscar. Like, that's how he says it.
This is how he delivers it. It's not how I deliver it.
Oh, yeah, it might be.

Speaker 1 But I know you have to smallen it because you're just trying to keep your head on your shoulders and you're like clocking in and clocking.

Speaker 1 Like, it's like, if things were too big, like, you would almost be scared to do it. Totally.
But it's like, that is,

Speaker 1 that is major. You're right.
He does, he smallens things, but he's excited. I'm excited.

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Speaker 1 you're one of my loved ones too. Ah.

Speaker 1 You ever just stop in the middle of a crazy day and realize, wow, I needed a break. It literally happened to me yesterday.
I cracked open a Diet Coke, sat back for five minutes. Total reset.
Right?

Speaker 1 There's something about the crispy, refreshing taste of an ice-cold Diet Coke. It just hits.
It's my little me moment, like, make time for a Diet Coke break, you know? Exactly.

Speaker 1 Diet Coke is the perfect companion for all break moments. Diet Coke, this is my taste.

Speaker 1 Two questions. What are you doing right now? And why aren't you on a Virgin Voyages Caribbean cruise? Well, obviously you were listening to us.
Smart use of your time. True.

Speaker 1 But you could also be on a Virgin Voyages Caribbean cruise at the same time. That's just brilliant time management.
Very true. This gives me an idea.
Let's do a quick cruise quiz. Ready?

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Next. Okay, good choice.
That's what Virgin Voyages offers.

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From sunrise yoga to late-night cocktails, every moment is made for grown-up fun.

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Speaker 1 Is that leaf bothering you on your head?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 Matt, you're not. Because did you notice notice that my girl has a leaf on her head? No, it's an on.
Well, it's very fun. All right, go ahead, leaf head.
What's going to be yours?

Speaker 1 What's going to be yours?

Speaker 1 Gorgeous head. Gorgeous head.
Stunning head. Say this.
Toe head. I'm changing that.
What?

Speaker 1 Say this. Say this.
Say this. But this is my theory.
The word that is so powerful. So powerful.

Speaker 1 The way it hits the ear is just different. It's really.

Speaker 1 I was watching a body language expert talk about Blake Lively.

Speaker 1 Oh. Just let that sink in.

Speaker 1 I was watching a body language expert talk about Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni, and there was a moment where an interview says to Blake Lively, like, well, you actually had to be the intimacy coordinator on set.

Speaker 1 Like, you had to show him how to grab you and kiss you. And she goes, Where did you see this? And the body language expert said that use of the word this

Speaker 1 is usually to like show that you disdain whatever it is they've brought up. Like, oh, what's all this? What's what do you mean by this? What's all this?

Speaker 1 all this then?

Speaker 1 The word this is rarely used

Speaker 1 positively or inclusively. I'm picturing when you say this, something that's just coming to mind is like peeling dirty underwear off the floor.
What is this? What is this?

Speaker 1 Yeah, a wife coming home peels a woman's underwear from the bottom of the

Speaker 1 basket and going, what is this? To my husband? I've been working all day and whose is this? You would just say, what is that?

Speaker 1 You just ate that line read, by the way. Dude, what is this again? Dude, again,

Speaker 1 the directors out there. I'm free.

Speaker 1 Think about this.

Speaker 1 Who did this?

Speaker 1 Now say that. Sorry.
Who did this?

Speaker 1 Now do the other one? Who did that? See, I'm not threatened by that. Who did this? What's up with that? What's up with this?

Speaker 1 Although, we were talking about the scene for Madman Joan confronting the men.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't care if you died. That pornographic drawing.
That pornographic drawing.

Speaker 1 I actually, I've been watching so much Mad Men clips.

Speaker 1 The number one best scene in television history, I'm kidding you not.

Speaker 1 Joan and Don. Joan and Don.
It's the episode where Joan gets served with divorce papers in the office that

Speaker 1 front desk secretary gives, like, allows the last server. It's the fifth season, which, by the way, has no skips.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 it's the rumors of madness.

Speaker 1 So Don and Joan go to like, they go to the Jaguar dealership and like they pretend to be a couple and then they go to the bar and they get a little drunk and they turn on the jukebox music and they have this scene at the bar that talks about like the kind of people they are and the kind of people that are in the bar and it's beautiful.

Speaker 1 It's about them, but it's not. The writing and the acting is so

Speaker 1 unbelievably good.

Speaker 1 Christina Hendrix, no Emmy for that role.

Speaker 1 Well, by the way, like, can.

Speaker 1 I don't want to say anything disrespectful, but it's like, let's get her out there.

Speaker 1 I would agree. I would definitely agree.
Do you think I'm going to say something on behalf of all women? Yeah. Is she so?

Speaker 1 Is she so?

Speaker 1 Is she so stunningly Jessica Rabbit that people are afraid?

Speaker 1 And this is just about misogyny on a larger scale. Totally.
Are people afraid to give her like challenging roles because they're like, she's so bodacious, we couldn't even.

Speaker 1 I don't think it's distracting. I think it's, I think she, with Joan, I guess, like, it is so

Speaker 1 one with like

Speaker 1 the character. But I guess that sounds I think it has a lot less to do with that and more to do with the fact that it's almost like the reason why January Jones and Jessica Pere also don't work a ton.

Speaker 1 It's because I feel like they're very identifiable with those roles and they were so well done that maybe it counts against them sometimes. Fuck.

Speaker 1 Damn, Tim.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 I think all of those performances are unreal.

Speaker 1 I think Jessica Pere actually gets disrespected. She's amazing.
Megan was incredible. Zubi-Zoo is an iconic moment.
Zubi-Zubi-Zoo is in the first episode of season five, and it gets better from there.

Speaker 1 Zubi-Zubi-Zoo is the craziest thing

Speaker 1 that ever happened on television.

Speaker 1 It is the craziest thing ever happened. It is so insane.

Speaker 1 And then you see Twin Peaks, and you go, that's, okay, some crazy things are happening here that are basically like defying all like logic between like the living and the dreaming and the dead. Right.

Speaker 1 And then you're like, and still Zubi-Zubi-Zoo Zoo is still the fact that Zubi Zubi Zoo is supposed to happen in a grounded world and it still reads as being like realistic and you believe that she would do that and it says pretty much everything you need to know about her character but Zubi Zubi Zoo happened on AMC

Speaker 1 Twin Peaks happened on ABC truly which is that's the craziest part take that risk now challenge you guys are actually gonna lose your gourd basically you're gonna the the top of your hat is gonna fly off I should clean off clean off I just have no stamina when it comes to watching shit.

Speaker 1 So, like, I'm still on the pilot. I've been on the pilot episode of Twin Peaks for, like, eight years.
It's so bad. That is.

Speaker 1 But I started from the beginning, like, recently, even before he passed away, just like when the mom like realizes that, like, she's gone, she's dead. It's like the most.

Speaker 1 devastating thing. And the Laura Palmer's theme.
Like, the music, that score is crazy. I think once you enter episode two, then it's full lubrication and it's a non-stop roller coaster.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't think you're going to find any resistance there. I think it's just like slip it in that second episode.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Allow it to just, it just, it's the way it feels all over your body when you're watching it, it's astounding. And I will say, and not to belabor this point, belabor.

Speaker 1 No, that was right. That was right.
No, I just am going to be needing a PhD to be. Well, you know what?

Speaker 1 You clearly weren't paying attention in English class because you were so horned up with trying to get your rocks off with Vincent Van Gogh.

Speaker 1 Vinton Van Snoop. If you saw who I was talking about, you'd go, oh, okay.
In a good way? Or in a horrified way? Anytime Sarah's like, that fucking guy, oh, what I would do, I'm like, the

Speaker 1 craziest looking human being. You're like, the crypt keeper? Crypt keeper? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Taylor Hicks. Taylor Hicks.
No disrespect. Billy Bob Thornton.
Now.

Speaker 1 Keep going. And this is how that, like, because I think

Speaker 1 my beautiful long-suffering boyfriend is so conventionally cute, cutiful, that it's like, I think it's like, it's a loud, yes, it's a counterweight. Counterweight.
I love that.

Speaker 1 So you're so bored with traditional beauty because you get that every day. In fact, you have sex with it.

Speaker 1 In fact, if he's lucky.

Speaker 1 You're the kind of girl who holds out.

Speaker 1 This becomes like a whole other alt-right podcast. You're the kind of girl who leaves it on the shelf.
You know what I mean? Ew. I made that expression up.
You leave it on the shelf at night?

Speaker 1 On the shelf at night.

Speaker 1 You let it stink up the place.

Speaker 1 You ever have to crack a a window extra because it stinks so bad? Because it's been on the shelf. The ex-buried date is.
Well, if you leave it on the shelf too long, you know, it starts to stink.

Speaker 1 They say that about women. They don't have sex.
That's where their pussy starts to really smell bad. When was the last time you smelled one?

Speaker 1 Me?

Speaker 1 Face to face.

Speaker 1 I've never seen a vagina up close.

Speaker 1 It's one of the, and they cover this in many movies. It's one of the most craziest things you can see.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 how would we know? How would we know? Zoobie,

Speaker 1 I didn't bring mine today. It's in the car.

Speaker 1 What's your least favorite body part to depict

Speaker 1 in your art? Oh, interesting. This is going to be a surprise.
Please. I don't like, as someone who loves blood, guts, shit, piss.
Boogers, I'm like, what do we two?

Speaker 1 I was going to guess nose stuff. You don't like nose?

Speaker 1 I love nose.

Speaker 1 But you don't like booger? I think it's like we're older than that. Yeah.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I love this. That there is one thing that you go, that's off.
Like, I'm leaving that. It's paste.
Yeah, or it's just, there's an edit there. There's an edit.
There's an edit.

Speaker 1 And I love, I love mucoid membranes. So I love like a slick, mucous, like.

Speaker 1 You don't like a clump. You don't like a clump of booger.

Speaker 1 Again, it's like, we're

Speaker 1 guys. Yeah.
Really?

Speaker 1 when you see someone pick your nose. Are you horrified? Pick their nose rather.
No, I do this as a practice. That's part of my practice.
I do it too.

Speaker 1 I think it's a medical procedure. It's like you do.
You have to clear that out.

Speaker 1 Sometimes it's like, it's not, it's not as easy as blowing your nose. No, no, you have to get in there.

Speaker 1 You have to get it. Sometimes you have to get knuckle deep, and that's okay.
And again, this was really healing, actually. Thank you.
Thank you for coming. You're welcome.

Speaker 1 Should I make a, oh, I was going to say they should make a nasal bidet, but that is what a neti pot is. That's what what an Eddie Pot is.
It's what a Neal Med is. You know, of course, you understand.

Speaker 1 And, oh, this was going to be

Speaker 1 my last, like, on my hands and knees begging for you guys to watch Twin Peaks.

Speaker 1 In its three

Speaker 1 season arc, it posits a theory of everything spiritually,

Speaker 1 like religiously, metaphysically, that I legitimately agree with

Speaker 1 in life. Everything is love, or love is the most important thing.
What is it? Or you don't want to spoil it? I think you should. Because I don't think this is spoiling

Speaker 1 necessarily. Necessarily.

Speaker 1 I don't think this is necessarily spoiling anything. Necessarius.
But it's Necessarius Istisarius is my favorite dinosaur. That's why they got me a dinosaur.
Necessarius was so good. She was cutiful.

Speaker 1 She was cutiful.

Speaker 1 You guys, readers, please draw Necessarius and send us in your pictures. Tag us, all three of us, and the Atlas Codresis with your photos that you've drawn of Nessa Sarius.

Speaker 1 But you have to like then write it like Nessa Sarah, S-A-R-I-H.

Speaker 1 You know how to spell it. Nessa Sarah Nicolius list.
Nessa Sarnicolius list. Monstrosara Nicolas.
Nessesarius list.

Speaker 1 Keep going. What's the theory?

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 like, yes, that love is actually the greatest unifying force in the universe.

Speaker 1 But, you know, Twin Peaks is the, and I'm going to be so serious right now that it's going to make you laugh. Okay.

Speaker 1 That it's like the story of like who killed Laura Palmer, right?

Speaker 1 And I'm not gonna spoil the great reveal of who killed Laura Palmer for you because that'll keep you on the hook for at least a season and a half.

Speaker 1 But, like, you know, there's so much like pain and violence and trauma towards this like young high school girl and towards like all the women in this universe or whatever.

Speaker 1 And there's like great pain and trauma. And while like

Speaker 1 love prevails,

Speaker 1 basically in the great episode eight, season three of Twin Peaks, which is like the return, which happened. What was that? Like 2016 or something? Yeah, 2016.

Speaker 1 Really, a Las Culturista. You just know.
I don't know. I just

Speaker 1 told it that I am amazing. Don't small in.
Don't small in. You are amazing.

Speaker 1 Basically, he posits that true evil was unleashed into every dimension and realm of the universe when the first atomic bomb, atomic bomb exploded.

Speaker 1 So that a new kind of man-made evil basically fractured all of time, all of the fabric of time space and unleashed a new form of evil in the form of Bob, who is this demon that, you know, create whatever in Twin Peaks.

Speaker 1 It unleashed a new form of evil that like wreaked a new form of havoc on

Speaker 1 every universe. Every universe of every timeline, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Yes. And so like that is the

Speaker 1 like central conflict of Twin Peaks, which is said by, you know,

Speaker 1 General Briggs when he says, you know, there's this Bobby Briggs, hottest man alive. His dad is like a

Speaker 1 crazy like military

Speaker 1 general who like does shit with space or whatever. Uh-oh.
I'm not sounding smart.

Speaker 1 He needs to drink Diet Coke.

Speaker 1 He's basically,

Speaker 1 if that was the answer,

Speaker 1 Diet Coke. We'd be geniuses.

Speaker 1 President Trump wouldn't be trying to buy Austria or whatever.

Speaker 1 Is he? You don't need the Die Coke. You sound a big deal.
You sound amazing.

Speaker 1 But then, like, basically, he's worried.

Speaker 1 He's this, like, general who's been who, like, is, like, you know, in charge of investigating the link between American military hegemony and nuclear mysticism, whatever, whatever.

Speaker 1 And he's like, my fear is that love is not enough. So that basically when mankind,

Speaker 1 emphasis on man basically unleashed a new kind of evil into the world when we created the nuclear bomb, he's worried that love is not enough.

Speaker 1 And then that's kind of what, like, the return follows is like all these characters that you remember from 20 years ago feeling this trauma in every dimension and every like time-space continuum, whatever.

Speaker 1 And, you know, and this is why, you know, but Oppenheimer won the Oscar. And this is ultimately why.
But this is what's crazy about Oppenheimer when you're in the middle. angry.
Yep. Come on.

Speaker 1 I can feel it. Barbie was a better thing.

Speaker 1 Use this rage in a positive way. We all need to do that, especially now.
That's more than ever. Let's organize starting now.

Speaker 1 Use this female rage about Oppenheimer.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. Use your female rage against Oppenheimer to make a big point.
Episode eight should have won the Oscar.

Speaker 1 Say that. Yeah.
No, it couldn't have been nominated for Oscar, but maybe if you were announcing the Oscars, you could have just flipped that. said season three, episode eight.

Speaker 1 Yes, that is what I believe about the universe and like about religion and everything. Wow.
It's something that David Lynch put in a fucking TV show that anyone could watch. That's amazing.

Speaker 1 And that's what culture is for me and for you and for you and for everybody. It's culture that's for everybody.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's not culture that you find in a little box at like Bucket of Blood Records in Chicago, cool weirdo store with a bunch of, you know, like freaks, facts, weirdos, weirdos,

Speaker 1 the outcasts, the misfits, misfits, those who haven't belonged once in their life that can find community in a place like that.

Speaker 1 In a place like this, quite frankly. This.
And I don't say this in a pejorative sense. I say it in an inclusive way.

Speaker 1 Really, not giving much credence to my point earlier, which shows that people can change. You're saying people can change? I've changed, obviously, in the last 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 Here I am using this in a beautiful, inclusive way, when before I said it was usually in a dismissive way. It's just really interesting.

Speaker 1 I credit you with bringing up, not bringing up, with bringing yourself to the conversation today.

Speaker 1 Period.

Speaker 1 No, I was going to keep going.

Speaker 1 The queerdos.

Speaker 1 It is a culture. It's not just for the queerdos.
For once. For once.

Speaker 1 The queerdos have had it too good for too long.

Speaker 1 And this is what brings me back to traders.

Speaker 1 Lots of queerdos running around.

Speaker 1 Yes, ma'am. A lot of queerdos.
Yes, ma'am. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When you ask me, are people inherently good or evil? It can be answered in episode eight. That's what an incredible callback.
And the answer that they're saying is no, people are born good.

Speaker 1 People were born good until the new period. The Great Disruption.
The Great Disruption. And there are so many fractures and fissures in time-space that

Speaker 1 this demonic force can really crawl in

Speaker 1 kind of whether or not you invite it. Because we've created man-made.
A fissure. Fissure.
Fissure.

Speaker 1 We're not happy that you use that word. No.
Because of sitting on the remaining on the toilet.

Speaker 1 Our buttholes hurt when you said fissure. Listen.

Speaker 1 Nobody in this room has more hemorrhoids than me. Nobody's the worst.

Speaker 1 I feel like it feels apocalyptic when I have one. It feels, it's a disability.
I'm not kidding.

Speaker 1 Can I do this? This might be a little gross. This is my, this is me on the toilet with a hemorrhoid.
Oh, okay. My, this might be a little gross.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Are you jacking off? No, it's hurt so much that I have to

Speaker 1 thumper.

Speaker 1 Meanwhile, you're supposed to get up. You're not supposed to be sitting there.
You're going to go off. No, I'm sitting there and I'm like,

Speaker 1 if you keep moving, then it won't like.

Speaker 1 Yeah, then like, it's a way to like get it out, but it's just my foot has to move. I get restless leg.
I hate this. There's literally nothing worse than like a localized injury.
Oh, it's not good.

Speaker 1 Concentrated pain. Wait, was that going to be your answer to what was the culture that made you so culturalist for me? Yes.

Speaker 1 And then, but then you also said over text that you had opinions about housewives. Well, can I, and this is my great reveal? Yes, sir.
Can I show you what I have? Stop.

Speaker 1 Wait, can I even guess what it is? Yes. It's Heather Gay's Mormon book shirt.

Speaker 1 Here we go. Ooh.
Ooh. Oh, COVID.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I feel for me too.

Speaker 1 Wow, Lisa.

Speaker 1 I feel for me too.

Speaker 1 Come on the pod, Lisa. Lisa, Lisa Barnes.
At this point, they really are all invited. They're all invited, truly.
After all the work, the public service they did, including Britney Bateman. Oh, my.

Speaker 1 Give it up for Britney. Honestly.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Honestly, watch when Britney comes on the podcast and is like low-key funnier and smarter than us.
No, she's not.

Speaker 1 Well, the thing about culture is actually started and she tells us, she comes in like a true cultural anthropologist like a full 10 MBAs talking about like culture in like caveman time?

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's like well actually fire began when a caveman actually really it was collaborative and it was really the first collaboration. Wait, who am I?

Speaker 1 Actually, Abraham Lincoln had Greek Versace planes. Are you Angie?

Speaker 1 That was anthropology. That was anthropology.
Angie Katzunev is the queen of America. Did you listen to her episode of Lost Culture? She was on Lost Cult.

Speaker 1 She was the last guest before. She's so fucking

Speaker 1 stupid. You know what's so interesting? Well, I told you this.
And I actually don't want to say this on the podcast. What? Edit.

Speaker 1 I'm only listening to music from now on.

Speaker 1 Leave it in. Leave that in.
That is.

Speaker 1 I think we would all benefit from that. I just am like worried about replacing my inner chatter with outer chatter.

Speaker 1 And so I have been replacing all talking in the ears with singing. Actual structured sound.
You don't listen to the episode to make sure you say anything. It's missed after for edits.
Oh.

Speaker 1 To make sure that nothing slips through the cracks. Right.
Because this one's always spouting off some problematic stuff. Every third word

Speaker 1 is a big slur.

Speaker 1 A big slur. I said, listen to unedited lost coach.
You'll be taking a vacation, a big slur. You leave a pussy on the shelf for too long.

Speaker 1 It'll start to leak.

Speaker 1 Pussy is not a slur that doesn't count. Pussy, pussy, pussy.
Come for me.

Speaker 1 My brother, when I was growing up, said to me, he said that he thought pussy was a vegetable because my dad said it so much.

Speaker 1 Why would he think he was a vegetable? Because my dad would be like, get back on the field, you fucking pussy. So you thought it was a vegetable? Because it was in the fields where vegetables grow.

Speaker 1 Right? Wow.

Speaker 1 Am I warm?

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 this might be Long Island lifestyle. Yeah, totally.

Speaker 1 You'll never believe this story. So my sister comes home one day when she's she's five.

Speaker 1 She's had to

Speaker 1 write a book about her family. So it's like, this is my mom.
I love my mom a lot.

Speaker 1 This is what my mom says to me. I love you.
This is my dad. I love my dad a lot.
This is what my dad says to me.

Speaker 1 It's a picture of him on the couch and it says, peanut, go grab me a beer from the fridge.

Speaker 1 Curl, girl, girl.

Speaker 1 Go grab me a beer from the fridge. Talk about it, Archie.
He wrote it at the five-year-old

Speaker 1 and brought it back to our family. It was like, this is what my mom says.
This is what my dad says. Because my dad would send us into the

Speaker 1 fridge. Grab me a beer.
I'm going to go to the back fridge and then grab the fridge light and bring it in. Classic.

Speaker 1 You know how I just said that there's only been one artist who has presented my theory of everything? I was wrong. It's your sister.

Speaker 1 There was something in there that spoke to the universe for sure. My mom says, I love you.
My dad says, hey, peanut, go grab me a beer from the fridge. I can't believe I've never heard this before.

Speaker 1 That's incredible. It's unbelievable.
It's so good. Peanut, my dad, you say? Yeah.
Were you peanut? I was peanut and also, yo, sports fan. Oh, wow.
Is that something? Yo, sport fan, get me whatever.

Speaker 1 A sports fan is a lot of fun. It's a fun.

Speaker 1 I was a bug.

Speaker 1 Bug. Because I would crawl around all the time and never sit still.
Still to this day. You know how hard it is for me to sit right here? Unbearable.
I want to be crawling all over this place.

Speaker 1 Did you see? You're about to be like bowing on the toilet.

Speaker 1 I want to crawl over this place, spread my seat. I got to come, quite frankly.
Oh, I want to do it now.

Speaker 1 Oh, what color would it be when it came out? You don't want to know. Fine, I'll tell you.
White.

Speaker 1 I'm a normal guy. White is snow, my cum.

Speaker 1 You guys should do a manosphere episode.

Speaker 1 All right, so then we're actually going to come, and then we're going to see what colors it is. All right, so then we're going to figure out the hex code for the cum color.

Speaker 1 So who thinks this one is a Bowen's cum?

Speaker 1 Ding, ding ding ding ding

Speaker 1 we immediately get a huge deal with barstool sports we leave iHeart we leave iHeart we go to Barstool for some reason on Barstool now they're talking about Japanese pizzas. I'm like

Speaker 1 I got a thing on my feet. It's like

Speaker 1 what is a Japanese pizza? Like the pizza in Japan is like the next.

Speaker 1 And talk about that. Oh, it's an it's amazing pizza.

Speaker 1 That's all I can say, really. That's all you can say.
Talk about it. What is it that makes it so good? The dough, the sauce, the toppings.
Would it be as amazing as Mary Cosby's avocado pizza looked?

Speaker 1 Thoughts on Mary Cosby this year?

Speaker 1 And her behavior in the finale. What can you say about a Philosopher King?

Speaker 1 A lot. That's actually a great point.
You can say a lot about a Philosopher King. Yeah, I agree with both.

Speaker 1 I get why people join the cult.

Speaker 1 She speaks with such.

Speaker 1 I just felt like she was speaking with such clarity this season that I thought that she was channeling spirit for real.

Speaker 1 Weren't you upset at the end when she was really trying it with Andrew? She was like, I was wrong about you. That was so insane.
It was absurd. But then she was like, Angie was like, hey.

Speaker 1 And she was like, you're right. I have abandonment issues.
And it was like, great.

Speaker 1 So she needed Angie to get there. Right.

Speaker 1 So Angie is the real star here, I think. Angie is the star of the show.
Yes, I would agree. She's top five housewife for me.
Truly for me.

Speaker 1 Now you have to say her top five. Carlton.
She's crazy. She loves Carlton.

Speaker 1 You need to be in an asylum.

Speaker 1 The witch. Ra Mona.
Okay. Singer.

Speaker 1 Singer.

Speaker 1 Ra.

Speaker 1 Carlton. Ramona.
Ramona. Singer.
Angie. Angie.
Angie. Okay.
Who is rounding out this five? Karen. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. That can't be my five.
Karen. Say a few one more.
Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 Hold on. You don't even have to.
I don't even have it on my phone. I feel like I wrote this from my phone.
It's like

Speaker 1 there's a folder with drag names. There's a folder with my favorite housewives.
My favorite karaoke song. Okay.
This is a nice spread. You have Roney, Beverly Hills, Potomac, Salt Lake.

Speaker 1 You're missing what?

Speaker 1 I want to, you know what I want to

Speaker 1 do. Adriana and

Speaker 1 you know what? I actually, Marisol's mom. Oh, yeah, Elsa.
Yeah, Elsa.

Speaker 1 Wait, so what do what? Carlton, Ramona.

Speaker 1 Actually, Mary Cosby. Mary Cosby.
Angie. Wow.
And then

Speaker 1 Elsa. Not Karen's Housewives.
Karen, even this week, you're going to knock Karen out? Yeah, throw her back in there.

Speaker 1 Because does it count?

Speaker 1 Does the body cam footage count as an episode of Housewives?

Speaker 1 I think so. I think it's canon.
Because that is just like. It's so sad.

Speaker 1 when she's sitting in the jail cell getting interrogated, and she just has, she's babbling, and then she goes, Thomas Jefferson's concubine.

Speaker 1 It's just like, you don't get that kind of genius

Speaker 1 anywhere else in this world. She is one of the funniest people to ever love.

Speaker 1 Talk about channeling the muse in the room. Like, be in the room where that happens.
Yeah. Like, that isn't it.
Top five. You standing in the middle.
My top five? Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Sure. Well, can we just point out is standing there.
You have a standing go to Karen's body cam footage and Brittany Bateman?

Speaker 1 Oh, my top five is Brittany Bateman. No, just kidding.

Speaker 1 I would respect that immensely. I do think she's had

Speaker 1 an incredible season. Yes.

Speaker 1 It is funny. Fun the Jared season.
You guys, I've never recorded in my life. I was trying to send a video to my daughter.
She got a good grade on her mouth test.

Speaker 1 She just started speaking to me again. You guys.
You guys, I have an announcement. My daughter's speaking to me.
What? This is the podcast. Hey, I don't want you.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 What you're singing pink pony clubs throughout the airport?

Speaker 1 It's amazing. It's brilliant.
To all housewives, past,

Speaker 1 future.

Speaker 1 Past, future, and present. Take notes.

Speaker 1 Like, this is what happens when you're off your phone. So we're actually referring to someone who literally just made a TikTok.
But when you're off your phone and just being you. You.

Speaker 1 And you're not like worried about how people perceive you, no podcast, no outer chatter in your inner chatter.

Speaker 1 When you're off your phone and just being you, it's incredible what you can do on your phone. That's essentially what you just said.

Speaker 1 When you really clear that, when you just let the music speak and you just put away your phone, pick up your phone, see what happens. Amazing shit.
The content.

Speaker 1 Especially now in the new era of TikTok. Oh, my queer

Speaker 1 and outcasts and vagabonds and dragulators.

Speaker 1 Dragulators. Dragulators.
It's like, it's like, that is like, there are so many people who are trying to manufacture housewife domestic. Yes.
And they're trying to like.

Speaker 1 I don't think Bromwyn is as guilty of that as other. I mean,

Speaker 1 let's call a spade a spade. Yes.
My critique for the finale of Salt Lake, I did not need them to do that stupid thing. That game was made about it.
That game was so bad.

Speaker 1 So Heather is, we'll put Heather in. I don't think she even believed in it.

Speaker 1 I think they told her

Speaker 1 to do this. And then she was like, yeah, fine.
And then it just, not one element of the show felt like they were pushing that hard for drama until that moment.

Speaker 1 And I was just like, I just don't believe that. Tripped at the finish line a little bit.
I think it's like we're at a point with Housewives where push has come to shove.

Speaker 1 And it's like, in order for anything to be, I think New York is

Speaker 1 evidence of this.

Speaker 1 If it's just like, it just has to be crazy. And that's why I do respect Heather doing that because she's like, well, it's the finale episode.
We're all sitting at the table and it has to be insane.

Speaker 1 It's not a good thing. Because

Speaker 1 what was my favorite was her cadence. We're going to take out our phones.
We're going to find the worst thing we've ever said about someone here.

Speaker 1 And then we're going to hand over our phone and we're going to read it diabolically. And we're going to move forward.
Do you think she scripted? She scripted that. No, I don't.

Speaker 1 You don't think she had a notes app on her phone that was like, guys.

Speaker 1 What I find suspicious was that they all, like, remember when Lisa like zoomed the fuck in? Yeah. And, like, was like swiping, swiping swiping so it was like they screenshot they had text at the ready

Speaker 1 i think that was prepared there was something produced it was very produced it was very it was the only moment of the season that i felt was like inorganic yeah and i didn't like it i i did like it because i just felt like heather was like i have i fucking left not a single chrome last season.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 And she was just like, she actually deserves an Emmy. She does.
She does, she does. Because she wrote that.

Speaker 1 And it's like, she was like, the way I fucking tore that last year, like the only way I can one-up myself is if I do the craziest thing possible, which is, she did the craziest thing possible.

Speaker 1 There was a moment there where the language was even kind of like mirroring last season where she goes, we're all obsessed with receipts. We're all obsessed with proof.

Speaker 1 caught herself mid-list being like, oh, I got to change up the

Speaker 1 words a little bit. But it was receipts, proof, timeline.
I actually, like, earlier in the year, like in our group chat, people were like, oh, Heather's not having a great season.

Speaker 1 She's not, like, in it. I'm like, actually, I totally disagree because I think Heather Gay is the audience.
Yep. And she's the best narrator on the show.
And she's the lead of the show.

Speaker 1 She's the protagonist. So it's fine by me that she's not like totally racked with whatever is going on.
I feel like she's had a lot of that. And I kind of enjoy watching her watch what's happening.

Speaker 1 That's how I feel about Ms. Gay.
Miss Gay.

Speaker 1 I was talking about you.

Speaker 1 I wasn't talking about her. That's how I feel about Miss Gay.
As everyone knows.

Speaker 1 My straight power fist.

Speaker 1 Wow. Even this week.
Limp wristed somehow. Even this week.

Speaker 1 Well, the YMCA, him dancing to the YMCA is like, is Britney Bateman level. It's like, totally.

Speaker 1 We are.

Speaker 1 Give him a standing O.

Speaker 1 To the village people.

Speaker 1 You tore that.

Speaker 1 You tore this. You tore this.
And you know this.

Speaker 1 To be true. But like, if Brittany, Brittany Bateman, they're a perfect cast because they're every archetype of housewife.
And they're themselves. But Heather Gay is not.

Speaker 1 And that is what Mary was saying too.

Speaker 1 Mary, when Mary was like, Heather, you've changed and you're not, you know, you're not yourself.

Speaker 1 She's like, you are becoming too aware and too into the fandom and like you're Rihanna's favorite and you're performing and you're producing. But Heather like kind of needs to do that a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think it's unfair.

Speaker 1 I think you need you do need Heather to do what Heather has done. Right.
Because

Speaker 1 you have Britney Bateman. Like if everyone was Britney Bateman, it'd be unwatchable.
Well, the rest of them are not capable of doing that.

Speaker 1 Like Lisa Barlow is not capable and I'm wearing her on my shirt.

Speaker 1 I have a deep respect over my heart.

Speaker 1 She's not capable of being like, hey, guys, to the producers, what do you guys need? Let me execute that for you.

Speaker 1 One person can do that in the cast besides Heather, which is Angie.

Speaker 1 Oh, you think? I think Angie is.

Speaker 1 I think Angie, too, is a chaos agent. And she's living, she's truthfully living her life as the wife of a beautiful game.

Speaker 1 She's more grounded. But Angie can, like, zoom out and, like, the way she handled the Mary thing, I'm like, she can,

Speaker 1 she can do this.

Speaker 1 She's so aware in the best and in the exact right way. Yeah, she has an understanding of that, of the situations in a a way where she's like, you know, when it's time to put your foot on the gas.

Speaker 1 And like, whenever it's Meredith spinning in a circle at her own bot mitzvah being like, Zakai! Like, Angie knows, like,

Speaker 1 I'm upset, but this is good.

Speaker 1 Meanwhile, it's like Mary melting down. Like, there's a bone in.
every housewife's body that if they were to scratch that bone, it would just be like, let me continue fighting this woman.

Speaker 1 But Angie knew it is not. I'm not arguing with Mary Cosby about this.
Right.

Speaker 1 Saying high body count hair, it's like, I actually take back what I said about Ms. Gay

Speaker 1 needing an Emmy for her writing. It is Angie because we're getting lines like high body count hair and we're getting lines like

Speaker 1 one foot in the grave and another.

Speaker 1 And then she, and then she even wrote something for this show where her I don't think so honey was, I don't think so honey, high body count hair. And then she goes,

Speaker 1 if you come to Lunatic Fringe salon. By the way, the name.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 First of all, when we saw, I didn't know it was called Lunatic Fringe. Triangle Hair.
Varieties. Lunatic Fringe.

Speaker 1 I saw Saran.

Speaker 1 Well, then

Speaker 1 I didn't know that it was actually a phrase.

Speaker 1 The Lunatic Fringe references actually

Speaker 1 groups of people. It's not just two words that sound great together.
It's like she's like a full Sarah North.

Speaker 1 I worship this. The text.
Yeah, we do. And she was great on the show.
You should listen to that.

Speaker 1 She looks perfect. This is the right, the joke-level writing, yeah, yeah.
This is good. She goes,

Speaker 1 You come to Lunatic Fringe, you have a get-lit guarantee. If you don't have sex, come back, I'll fuck you myself, girl.
Yeah, then they say

Speaker 1 Rome was not built in a day.

Speaker 1 No, what can you possibly mean by that? And you're talking about a Greek woman, so watch it.

Speaker 1 So, don't stop with this Rome imagery. It's just like

Speaker 1 built a hair empire

Speaker 1 because she was laying brick by brick brick in the cultural wasteland of salt

Speaker 1 city

Speaker 1 it is by the way it is a goddamn pillar

Speaker 1 I'm a pillar of the community oh my god do I have an Angie or an Angie go

Speaker 1 do do Meredith well Meredith it was I thought it was really interesting how you attacked me and you were very rude to me

Speaker 1 there's not much I'm specific I have to work on it. It's there.
It's a hilling journey. I'm in a real place of hulling.
I fucking love her. I fucking love her.

Speaker 1 I want, she needs to have a better season next year. And I actually blame the, I think the producers cut out a lot of her shit.
Oh, interesting.

Speaker 1 We love Whitney.

Speaker 1 I fucking love her. I think she's the most stunning woman alive.
Period. We're the only housewives I've done a shot with.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 And how did that present itself? Well, we were both at High Tops West Hollywood.

Speaker 1 Good for her. Likely place for us to be.

Speaker 1 She is a gay guy. She's a gay guy.
She is.

Speaker 1 She's a gay guy. She's not as much of a gay guy as Angie Kay.
Oh, sure. Well, but when Sudie and I were at Chuck, she was in the audience, and then Sudie was like, say hi to her.

Speaker 1 I was like, I'm too shy.

Speaker 1 Bowen is so...

Speaker 1 You guys work with the biggest A-listers we can read. These are our A-listers.
Meredith March came to the Fire Island premiere years ago with Seth and Brooks.

Speaker 1 I went over to her to say, that was the first time we had ever met. I said, Bowen, come over here.
He said, no, I'm not doing that. No, it's he's like, he was too scared.
I get that.

Speaker 1 I love these people with all my heart. And her scratch cornea really concerned me.
Meredith doesn't stop creating content.

Speaker 1 I'm saying this as someone who will be buying her. What is it? Pink microphones that she's.

Speaker 1 You don't think I have the entire Meredith Marks collection and have been to the store in Park City? You're incorrect. What are the pink microphones? You'd be deeply mistaken.

Speaker 1 Okay, do you remember at the end when it was like during the finale when they put the title cards up, like what they're doing now, and they came by so fast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they were very, very, very fast. I couldn't, we're listening, we're all professional readers.
Could not read that stuff. Could not.
Yeah, I love reading. Fluent in language.

Speaker 1 I love reading quick. Yeah.
Love. So good at it.
This is my first language.

Speaker 1 You ever just stop in the middle of a crazy day and realize, wow, I needed a break. It literally happened to me yesterday.
I cracked open a Diet Diet Coke, sat back for five minutes, total reset.

Speaker 1 Right? There's something about the crispy, refreshing taste of an ice-cold Diet Coke. It just hits.
It's my little me moment, like, make time for a Diet Coke break, you know? Exactly.

Speaker 1 Diet Coke is the perfect companion for all break moments. Diet Coke Coke, this is my taste.
Two questions. What are you doing right now? And why aren't you on a Virgin Voyages Caribbean cruise?

Speaker 1 Well, obviously you were listening to us. Smart use of your time.
True. But you could also be on a Virgin Voyages Caribbean cruise at the same time.
That's just brilliant time management. Very true.

Speaker 1 This gives me an idea. Let's do a quick cruise quiz.
Ready? First, cruise dining. Do you prefer a buffet or a curated dining experience with access to 20 distinct restaurants? Curated dining.
Next.

Speaker 1 Okay, good choice. That's what Virgin Voyages offers.
Second question. Would you rather have an overstuffed itinerary or the freedom to explore stunning?

Speaker 1 Oh, I want the freedom to explore stunning Caribbean destinations. Again, I think I see where this quiz is going.
Virgin Voyages is amazing. Yeah, absolutely.
The cruises are kid-free.

Speaker 1 From sunrise yoga to late-night cocktails, every moment is made for grown-up fun. Nothing against kids.
Kids are awesome, but sometimes it's nice to be kid-free.

Speaker 1 And there's so much included value, over $1,000. Right.
Over $1,000 of awesomeness all included. Wi-Fi, soda, top-tier entertainment, over 20 restaurants, and even group fitness classes.

Speaker 1 No hidden fees, no surprise charges. Virgin Voyages gives you the kind of luxury you actually deserve.
And you know what? I deserve luxury. You do, and me too.

Speaker 1 Yes, there's always something happening on board. From wellness-focused sailings to epic holiday voyages, live music, DJs, themed parties, and more.
Boredom doesn't board the ship.

Speaker 1 And there are so many amazing stops. You leave from Miami and sail to places like Grand Cayman, Jamaica, Puerto Rico, and the Dominican Republic.

Speaker 1 Virgin even has their own private beach club in Bibini. And they're adding stops in 2025 and 2026.
Yeah, like Aruba, St. Lucia, and Curaçao.
But it's not all go, go, go.

Speaker 1 Right, you can totally go into relaxation mode too. Your cabin is a full-on sanctuary.
Private terrace, ocean views, and their signature red hammock just waiting for you to swing.

Speaker 1 Oh, and did I mention Virgin Voyages is launching a new ship, the Brilliant Lady? Brilliant name, by the way. She's bigger, bolder, and packed with even more Virgin Wow Factor.

Speaker 1 Book now at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor. That's virginvoyages.com.
Okay, so you know how the world is a chaotic swirling ball of total stress right now?

Speaker 1 Well, we have a new Hulu show from Ryan Murphy that will give you the much-needed break from reality. And whether you know it or not, you are already completely obsessed.

Speaker 1 It's called All's Fair, and Ms. Kardashian plays Allura Grant, the most in-demand divorce attorney in Los Angeles.
Get it?

Speaker 1 It's All's Fair, as in All's Fair in Love and War, and she's a divorce attorney. Love it.
Now let's talk ensemble because Allura does not go it alone.

Speaker 1 She breaks off from a crusty male-dominated law firm to start her own legal coven with some absolute forces of nature. Naomi Watts, Nicy Nash Betts, Tiana Taylor, and Glenn Close.

Speaker 1 Yeah, hello, Glenn Close. And of course you need a villain, so say hello to Sarah Paulson as the nemesis.

Speaker 1 And these ladies are brilliant, complicated, fearless, and when they all come together, nothing can stop them. I'm talking about the lawyers on the show and the actresses playing them, by the way.

Speaker 1 But hey, if you're thinking this will be all courtroom drama and no drama drama, relax. Allura, that's Kim's character, has plenty of twists and turns in her personal life.

Speaker 1 Her professional life crashes into her personal one, and uh-oh. So, how does this super lawyer fix her own mess? With a little help from her besties, of course.
So, this series has it all.

Speaker 1 Scandalous secrets, high-stakes courtroom drama, more shifting alliances than Kim's other shows, some OMG twists, and friendships that rise above it all.

Speaker 1 And of course, everything is going to look amazing. It's got some unapologetic glam, a work-hard, play-harder lifestyle.
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Speaker 1 Top five housewives, just make sure you do it. What are yours?

Speaker 1 Stacey Rush.

Speaker 1 You are crazy. I watch her QBC videos.
He does. It's like ASMR to me.
It's ASM Artemis. They're so soothing.
Jesus bracelet. And it's a proud Christian woman.
I love having God right here on my wrist.

Speaker 1 That's a proud Christian woman.

Speaker 1 No, she is actually a revolutionary housewife because she is showing you that you can be a positive, loving person and still succeed. And you could have the most beautiful boobs on TV.

Speaker 1 And you're the most gorgeously stacked person to ever be on television. Her body is insane.
Body tea.

Speaker 1 Her body is T. Her body is Celsius.
Her body is diet. Look at that.
I mean, Becca, that's the most gorgeous woman alive. Yeah.
And to think she's dating a man who will not have sex. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 And that's part of her her scrippery.

Speaker 1 What is going on there with Miss Gay?

Speaker 1 Let me think about it. Let me think about it for even more than one or two seconds.
Miss Gay.

Speaker 1 I think.

Speaker 1 But we love Stacey.

Speaker 1 Stacy Rush is in my top five. Listen, I'm never going to shame an actor who wants camera time.
Sure.

Speaker 1 And you are never going to do that. Never going to be able to do that.
You respect the fuck out of those guys.

Speaker 1 I respect the fuck out of those guys.

Speaker 1 Any actor out here who's grinding, doing their best, putting one foot in front of the other in this grind we call Hollywood? I respect the fuck out of those guys. Excuse my language, but it's true.

Speaker 1 And it's really difficult. Say it for the heart of hearing Meredith Marxist people in the back.

Speaker 1 Whoa, I thought you just said Meredith Marxist, and I thought that's a good drag name. That's a great drag name.

Speaker 1 Meredith Marxist.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. iPhone list.
iPhone list.

Speaker 1 Meredith Marxist. Wait, can I just say when I was in college, when I was in Denver for for the holidays, it was this huge event all over Grinder.
People were like, we're going to Meredith Marks.

Speaker 1 Meredith Marks is going to show up at Trax, this nightclub by the train tracks.

Speaker 1 It was like the entire town was getting ready for like a presidential visit. That's an A-list Trax appearance.
No, of course. And I was like, I am not, I'm going to sit this one out.
Because of fear.

Speaker 1 Because of fear. No, but we love Meredith.
Meredith came.

Speaker 1 Obviously, Meredith, famously, as the readers know, came to the Culture Awards and delivered a great performance and accepted an award in person on behalf of all the ladies, and then came out to the after-party afterwards and was hanging out.

Speaker 1 She is a good hanger. This is what I was saying about the title card.
When it said at the end of the title cards, it said that she's coming out with pink listening devices.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, she's at a handicap. Microphone.

Speaker 1 She's a handicapped woman. But because Brit, she thought you were a family.
Oh, so we're making fun of the differently abled. I understand.
You make fun of disabilities now. My family.
Matt Zirod

Speaker 1 on a really underappreciated line during the whole recording freak out in the Sprinter van.

Speaker 1 What is it? I invited you into my home. No, that.
And then she's been saying lies. And spreading lies.

Speaker 1 She goes, for saying lies and spreading lies. Like saying and spreading being two different things.
For saying lies. And spreading lies.

Speaker 1 She

Speaker 1 rules. She absolutely rocks.
She rocks. Garbage horror posters.
Meredith Marks. Meredith Stacey.

Speaker 1 I just. Luann.
And then I'm going to say I fucking.

Speaker 1 Luann. Yeah.
Oh, fuck. I forgot.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Luann and Sonia. Yeah.
We can share the list. Sheree.
Yeah. Oh.
Sheree Whitfield. This is the list.
And I'm going to say, I'm going to say Alexia.

Speaker 1 Alexia is pretty good.

Speaker 1 Alexia is huge for me. Well, I'm going to say Adriana tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Adriana's amazing.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say

Speaker 1 Meredith. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say.

Speaker 1 If you say Meredith, I'm going to say Dolores Catania. Oh, you love Dolores.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to say,

Speaker 1 who do I laugh at? Sonia. Like, how is Sonia not my favorite? Honestly, Sonia to me is diminishing return.
Kenya? Sure.

Speaker 1 Kenya is tough for me because, as incredibly fabulous as she is, I don't think I'm like... Chuckling and laughing along.
Honestly, in good times, Porsche. I was going to say Porsche.
You like Porsche.

Speaker 1 Portia's

Speaker 1 unbelievable. And also, you know who I think is actually a top-five housewife? And I take the good and the bad.
Nini. Erica Jane.
Oh, oh, sure. Totally.

Speaker 1 Erica Jane is an unforgettable character on television. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's like, if we're like paying homage to what the show, homage for the Zuby Zoos in the room.

Speaker 1 It's like, that is what the show is. It's a soap opera.
And she is a soap opera character. I mean, literally named after Erica Kane.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 My soul left my body. Yeah.
You met her?

Speaker 1 No. Wait, I don't know who Erica Kane is.
I did General Hospital. Right.
Erica Kane is Susan Lucci's character on All My Children.

Speaker 1 She's the most famous soap opera character. And it was, but Sarah was on General Hospital.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. That is the most iconic thing anyone's ever done.
Well, and talk about it. You were on General Hospital.
I bet you know this. I bet.
I literally, I said, hey.

Speaker 1 I, hey, please. And they were like, are you like kidding? Because you're a comedian.
Are you kidding? And I was like, I'm 1 million percent.

Speaker 1 What did you do on General Hospital? They were like, so they.

Speaker 1 She's a speech. She's a speech therapist.

Speaker 1 She's fucking kidding me. She's amazing.

Speaker 1 I come in for one episode, can't do a serious face going, because you know, it is true what they say on soap, like that in soap operas, you know, at the end of a scene, it holds on everyone's facial reaction.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like this.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I really do want to go to the bathroom.

Speaker 1 You would be amazing. All I want to do is act.

Speaker 1 And guess what they do? 100 pages of dialogue a fucking day. I know.
Do your respect speech. Put respect on that

Speaker 1 with the soap opera actors. What were you saying? With respect to respect speech.
That you just did earlier. I respect the hell out of those actors.

Speaker 1 I respect the hell out of those actors. You know, it's, it's, think about how many greats we've got from soaps.
Julianne Moore.

Speaker 1 Oh. Lisa Rinna.

Speaker 1 Telly Rippa. I did when I hosted my game show, my hamster game show.

Speaker 1 My. Let that sink in.

Speaker 1 You don't even know the half of it with this hamster game show. Let's keep going.
Who was competing, the hamsters?

Speaker 1 Yes, they were.

Speaker 1 Yes, they were. But the humans, too.
All right. Well, I would imagine.
And

Speaker 1 therein lies the rug.

Speaker 1 I was, my co-host, Kyle. Shout out.

Speaker 1 Shout out.

Speaker 1 He did soap operas and he was like, bitch, you have no idea the level of acting talent.

Speaker 1 He said that all of his co-stars could, when they were like, Hey, you know, the director would be like, Can we get one single tear rolling down your cheek? They would go, which I

Speaker 1 fuck. Which I? Which I, bitch.

Speaker 1 Which I, bitch. Yeah.
You could do that, though. You could.
Which I, you could. I certainly couldn't.
Which I.

Speaker 1 So at the end of every scene, like, they literally do the whole, like, hold for reaction, hold for reaction. But my my crunchy ass, literally doing this in my reaction shots,

Speaker 1 they're fucking amazing. I couldn't believe everyone is so fucking amazing at acting in General Hospital.
It's like, in okay, you know what? I'm throwing it out there.

Speaker 1 I want to be on General Hospital. Easy, I'm serious.

Speaker 1 I would love to come in and do whatever you guys need.

Speaker 1 They're not going to want to let you go. That's fine.

Speaker 1 I'll do a recurring role. Period.
I would love to. It is like one take.
Everyone, done. Everyone's off book.
Day of. Day of, they get the script and then they go, got it.
Wow. And

Speaker 1 I legit never been more nervous in my life because you're actually with pros who are like, they do this every day. And yeah.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to make this about me.

Speaker 1 I want to put something out there. What?

Speaker 1 I want to do a pro wrestling thing. That will be really good.

Speaker 1 Yes. I went to, I went, I went to New Japan, New Japan pro wrestling at the Tokyo Dome.
It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life. From children to elderly women screaming.

Speaker 1 Hilarious. Hilarious.
Acrobatic. I just, it's

Speaker 1 all my favorite things. Costume.
Ask John Cena for tips. John.
John. Mandarin speaker, John Cena.
I think

Speaker 1 that's a good one. Yeah.
Have you seen him do the ads for La Gun Ma? I guess not. For the Chili Crisp? Cam knows.
Oh, for the Chili Crisp.

Speaker 1 He's in his trailer. He's like,

Speaker 1 it's crazy.

Speaker 1 Okay, so for those reading, listening, watching, Matt wants to be on General Hospital badly. Done.

Speaker 1 Bowen, General Hospital, done.

Speaker 1 Substance? Like, hey. Substance too.
Substance two.

Speaker 1 You find out Monstro is not dead.

Speaker 1 Monstro is returned.

Speaker 1 Slurps up and it's you. I mean, and then you have to go into SNL and it's Meta.

Speaker 1 Oh

Speaker 1 my God.

Speaker 1 And then Monstro Eliasu is to work on Starbucks and she's just going to be a girl getting her shit together with Hollywood and like roommates.

Speaker 1 How did you, I want you to, could you possibly conjure up how you felt when you saw Monstro Elissasu and when the text came on the screen that said Monstro Elissasu? Like, how did you feel?

Speaker 1 You're going to like think I'm, I'm Joshing around or Kyling around or whatever you're going to say.

Speaker 1 But like, so I went, I went to the movie with my friend Eris, who like does like a who's sorry, Eris. How do you spell the name? Eris Tor?

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 If his name was Eris, he's had a hard two years.

Speaker 1 E-R-I-S Aris they.

Speaker 1 Eris, but like the Final Fantasy character. Anyway, keep going.
Yes. My friend Aris, who does practical effects, who did all the practical effects and Sarah vaccine.

Speaker 1 We went

Speaker 1 together.

Speaker 1 And when that happened, legit stood up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
The more you do it, the less.

Speaker 1 And we were like, yeah. Like, literally, yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I didn't think people in the theater we saw it with were like screaming, laughing the whole time, but I don't think they

Speaker 1 did, they didn't feel like they had permission to stand and cheer. But it's cheering.
It's cheering. It's a cheering.
It's cheering. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Monstro Elissa Sue. I think because I saw it from home.
Monstro Matt Beau. Monstro Matt Beau.

Speaker 1 I saw it at home and I kept, mind you, I was stoned, but but it was the perfect way to watch it because I kept turning to Matt.

Speaker 1 It's okay. I kept turning to Matt.

Speaker 1 It's okay. Oh, wait.

Speaker 1 Holding space.

Speaker 1 I turned to Matt and I was like,

Speaker 1 I slowly stopped and I'm just like, no.

Speaker 1 Wait, give me some of the other. And now this is a circuit.

Speaker 1 We did say we couldn't do holding space jokes anymore. For Sarah Weekend.
Right. This is the last time.

Speaker 1 Only for you, you're little rascal. So this is like, you know what I mean? It's different.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Holding crazy different. Holding crazy is different.

Speaker 1 I kept saying to Matt, I was like, this is fucking awesome. Yeah, he did minutes in.
He was like, this is the best movie ever. I was like, this rules.
Come on.

Speaker 1 I love that. I love that movie.
It's so fun. And I loved Demi.
Oh, I love Demi. She's the most beautiful woman who's ever graced the planet.
62. Yeah.
Can you believe? That's crazy. Yep.

Speaker 1 How old is anyone? I don't know. You'd have to ask them.

Speaker 1 And it's rude in some cultures. Yeah, in some cultures, that's rude.
What are you saying?

Speaker 1 I'm bouncing around, I'm so crazy, but I was like, it just scared me to think that we wouldn't be bringing this up. My neighbor, wait, this is so back.
This is not what we're talking about.

Speaker 1 No, say it, say it. I'm not, no, I'm flatlining.
No, say it, say it. What?

Speaker 1 My neighbor is a brain scientist.

Speaker 1 I don't think that's what they're called. Neighbor hack.

Speaker 1 Neighbor.

Speaker 1 Legit. Sometimes I am kind of like, should I knock on her door and ask her if it's normal that I can feel the veins in my eyes?

Speaker 1 Knock, knock, knock. Hey, hi.

Speaker 1 How are you?

Speaker 1 Not me getting an aura ring and refreshing the app every five seconds.

Speaker 1 I had a question about,

Speaker 1 and I know you're off the clock.

Speaker 1 I can feel the veins in my eyes. Is this normal? Which is not the brain.
Yeah, no. No, I'm not saying the brain.
But everything is.

Speaker 1 Everything is. Because actually, isn't all of reality.
Especially real culture number at 94. It's not the brain, but everything is.

Speaker 1 We've never had a rule like

Speaker 1 that, like negate itself. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, all I'm saying is that all of reality is consciousness. So,

Speaker 1 period. Period.

Speaker 1 Wait, can you walk through that? It's just like we could all be like literally in my dream right now.

Speaker 1 So, you're an egomaniac narcissist. So, you're a solidarity.
Sorry, we could all be in like Trump's dream

Speaker 1 that

Speaker 1 you

Speaker 1 threw it on him.

Speaker 1 It's his day. It is.
This is all his dream, isn't it?

Speaker 1 It's like, I just, I'm sorry, I can't get over that he had fucking YMCA.

Speaker 1 You have to watch The Apprentice.

Speaker 1 The movie.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait. Oh, the movie.
No, the movie. The movie with Sebastian.
I love The Apprentice with the TV show. So does Boneyang.
I loved it.

Speaker 1 Back in the day, it's like it was the best shit. I did like The Apprentice back in the day when it was all fun and games.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about The Apprentice 2024 with Sebastian Stan and Jeremy Strong. Essentially, The Apprentice referring to the fact that Trump was Roy Cohen's apprentice.

Speaker 1 You know, I pledge to watch that. It's really an interesting movie.

Speaker 1 And did it get like a little bit where people were worried about it? That's

Speaker 1 still worried about it.

Speaker 1 Why? And Sebastian Stan's Oscar.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, Golden Globe speech was like, we cannot move in fear. Is this Leaf distracting? No,

Speaker 1 are you sure you're okay with with it? There is rustling afoot. I mean, certainly.
Okay.

Speaker 1 But I just feel like if I were to have a leaf on my head throughout the entire night of me doing my job and that's crazy that this is actually our job.

Speaker 1 If I had a leaf on my head during your job my entire workspace, I would think.

Speaker 1 Well, good thing you're not a Pokemon because I think there's a Pokemon with a leaf on his head. There's leaf Pokemon and you better watch your mouth.
Chikorita. Yeah, hello.

Speaker 1 Bitch.

Speaker 1 I just, I have more proof than that's bitch. That's the Spanish word in history.
Chikorita. Chikorita.
The that. That.
That.

Speaker 1 That. I was your friend and you.
I was offended by that. I was offended by that.
Lisa Barlow. Wait, what was it? Hi, I was your friend.
I'm your friend. I was offended by that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I can't quote that because that's one of the craziest moments. Garbage horror.
Garbage horror. The fact that she came back from that was Mary.
Like, the fact that Maria.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, it's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 Well, did I ever tell you about, I was at Sundance one year, and this is the same year I went to her store and I I saw Meredith at an after party and I turned to her and I just go Meredith, you know, I root for you and Lisa and she and she literally turns to me and she goes well explain to me how that would work

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh my god. Wait, so then how have they healed from that? I think you just kind of get over things when you're a housewife.
Girl, when when fucking Heather said about Whitney, like,

Speaker 1 what was the text? She's a piece of shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're a piece of shit. That's cool.
You're a fucking liar. you're a bitch that's literally what the worst things you could possibly like looking her in the eyes no you are

Speaker 1 you're a liar lisa you're a liar lisa you talked to whitney last season and you're like how are you with the girl how how how are you doing and she goes i'm good because

Speaker 1 The girls are all good. Like, she said something the other day.

Speaker 1 She said something like, everyone knows how to do the show and we're a good cast and we're together.

Speaker 1 And also, I did hear, I think Joel saw Meredith somewhere and he was like, So, how are you feeling about the season? And Meredith, fully with a big smile, was like, I loved it.

Speaker 1 Everyone really came to work this year.

Speaker 1 Like, they're loving it. They're amazing.
Like, Angie Kay came on the show, and you could tell she felt like a queen.

Speaker 1 As she should, as she should. Ugh.
I, oh, two things I want to say. Please tell me when I'm afraid that when people

Speaker 1 see me, they see Brodwyn.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 Like, when Brodwin walks into the room

Speaker 1 wearing Ronald McDonald,

Speaker 1 it's like costume,

Speaker 1 not costume.

Speaker 1 Mama.

Speaker 1 Well, she kept saying, Mama. Mama, this is fashion.

Speaker 1 Stop. I'm a Bronwyn fan.
I don't get this. Bronwyn.
You don't see. That's not what I'm like, right? When I walk in with my ice ass on his head, it's like you don't see like hot dog on a stick.

Speaker 1 If you're anyone on Salt Lake,

Speaker 1 you're Lisa Barlow. No, no, because you're not.

Speaker 1 Who am I? Get this right.

Speaker 1 You know.

Speaker 1 I think that you're Lisa and you're Meredith. That is exactly what it is.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We saw ourselves in the first season when Meredith tells Lisa,

Speaker 1 Sath and I are separating. And Lisa says,

Speaker 1 Oh my God, wait, I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry.

Speaker 1 Wait, I'm crying. No, no,

Speaker 1 Meredith. I love you guys so much.
I'm really close with them. It's just really hurting me because we're always friends, you know? Meredith, like, it's okay.

Speaker 1 Wait, I'm going to cry.

Speaker 1 I'm crying.

Speaker 1 You look like a trampoline with eyes.

Speaker 1 Angie.

Speaker 1 Trampoline with eyes. Trampoline with eyes underrated.

Speaker 1 Trampoline with eyes.

Speaker 1 Crying, Robert. Angie, one foot in the grave and and another on a banana peel.
How does work?

Speaker 1 She came up with that. That's amazing and Braun when reading it.
She's got one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel.

Speaker 1 Can you do it? How can you not laugh? It's like, I feel that way, by the way. That you have one foot in the grave and another on a banana, which means what to you?

Speaker 1 Half clown, half Pagliachi's curse. Yeah, Pagliachi.
Oh, Pagliachi. Who's Pagliachi?

Speaker 1 Can you do me a really big favor? Can you look up Doctor Who,

Speaker 1 like skin-stretched-out person? Oh, I know what you're talking about. That's trampoline with eyes.
That's trampoline with eyes. No, and then.
Wait, can you do this thing? Insert image here.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 pop.

Speaker 1 And also, make sure it says subscribe to Lost Culturistas underneath it.

Speaker 1 Do it again, in fact. Do it again.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Subscribe to Lost Culturistas here.

Speaker 1 Or should we say subscribe to iHeart?

Speaker 1 Y'all. I can't with y'all.
Y'all are some clowns.

Speaker 1 Really, for real. Really, for real.
What? Okay, my neighbor who's a brain scientist. Yeah, yeah, get into this.

Speaker 1 Should this be a two-part episode?

Speaker 1 Should this be called Monstro Sarah Nicole Part 1?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. And then we'll do Monstro Sarah Nicole Part 2.
If we're brainstorming,

Speaker 1 we have to go to work.

Speaker 1 Oh, Jesus Christ. I forgot about that.
Me, by the way, me, really, too.

Speaker 1 Me, really, too. Take it back, especially this week.
Me, really, too.

Speaker 1 It's not me, too. It's the sequel.
Me, really, too. Me, really, too.
Hashtag. You thought we were, you thought we were stomping it out the first time? No, no.
Me, really, too. Really, too.

Speaker 1 Pussy grabs back.

Speaker 1 You thought pussy was sitting on the shelf? Well, guess what? It was sitting on the shelf so long in the cabinet in the dark that it became one of those potatoes with the little arms growing out.

Speaker 1 Pussy grubs back, and this time it reeks.

Speaker 1 That's actually really good.

Speaker 1 Scare him off a little bit. Well, a culture number a thousand.

Speaker 1 We've never gone that high, you fucking freak.

Speaker 1 You really came in here and said,

Speaker 1 You really said it's Sarah's cult.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say the culture that was for me. When the pussy's on the shelf, David Lynch, wish you could drink that.

Speaker 1 Well, he passed he's dead dead man's brain science yeah yeah i get into this sorry she said

Speaker 1 that global warming oh no what does she know she's brain she's a brain scientist that's not a climate scientist global and hopeless brain

Speaker 1 yeah okay just because they're shaped the same big circle a brain and a globe That's why my brain's always rolling around in my head like a marble. Yeah, exactly.
Did you tell her all this?

Speaker 1 Peanut-headed bitch. What did she, what did she say? What did she say? Global

Speaker 1 peanut-headed bitch.

Speaker 1 One time, my boyfriend drew a picture of me. That was little,

Speaker 1 little peanut head and me screaming, pay attention to me. And he called it peanut head bitch.

Speaker 1 And now, Sarah, whenever she's in a wig, it's like, oh, that's the most peanut-headed bitch I've ever seen. Peanut head bitch.
She's a little head. You have such a good head, he's a great

Speaker 1 bob. I love

Speaker 1 full transformation. I laugh immediately when I see you in like a red bob.

Speaker 1 Or like, or like,

Speaker 1 you got obsessed with that one bob.

Speaker 1 She's like, you wasn't blonde. I was.

Speaker 1 There's something like amazing about.

Speaker 1 No, it's an amazing moment when you transform.

Speaker 1 I just, it's like, every, it's just like, listen, I am grateful for this job because so many things, but the fact that for a job, I get to wear a wig and go, oh,

Speaker 1 who is she?

Speaker 1 There was a wig that was so perfect on Sarah that, and I, and I don't mean to like out you as anything like narcissistic.

Speaker 1 It's just, it was like, I got it because you just kept, Sarah and I sit next to each other on Saturdays for our makeup and hair.

Speaker 1 And it really was a moment of Sarah just being like, looking at herself for at least five minutes. The pretty girl, Mom.
Being like, I'm beautiful. Yeah.
I did the substance mirror thing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The positive. But positive.
You did it, but you were like, oh, oh, oh.

Speaker 1 You were like so happy. I felt that when I had my Tina Turner wig.

Speaker 1 I had a Tina Turner wig in that Pongo sketch. It was insert image here.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 and one time I had to wear a Reba wig. Oh, that was great.
And it was like, I was, I kind of was like, were you playing Reba? No, not at all, but it was a Reba wig. Per se.

Speaker 1 But in a way, well, all actras have,

Speaker 1 you know, know, I was kind of channeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You can't really put a Rebo wig on without doing a you have to sing

Speaker 1 at least once. That was amazing.
I'm pretty good. I'm pretty good at singing.
I work hard.

Speaker 1 When you were singing in the hallway and it was resounding and reverberating, I was like, the all funny drained out of my body, and I was just living in like pure honest moment. I was just like, wow.

Speaker 1 Beautiful, really kind. What did your neighbor say? Oh, what are

Speaker 1 because you said you started with beautiful? What did your neighbor say? Because he's done with me in the singing. I'm I need to pee so bad.
Okay, okay, pee, go, go, pee, girl.

Speaker 1 How bad is it? Pretty bad. I've been holding it in for at least a half hour.
Oh my god, you've been dealing with a lot.

Speaker 1 Should I go now? But I don't want to lose that. We've been on momentum this whole time.
Okay, so my neighbor said that climate change,

Speaker 1 you really can tell

Speaker 1 Trump

Speaker 1 letter fit.

Speaker 1 Really, Trump?

Speaker 1 Come on now, girl. Greenland.

Speaker 1 Trump, girl, girl. Get real, girl.

Speaker 1 Get real. Greenland, really? Leave it alone.

Speaker 1 Really? What did your climate? What did your brain scientist say about the climate? She said that global warming. You know that global warming is happening because dogs have, dog bites are up

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 dogs like are breathing in ozone and it's making them go crazy. And the first thing I said was Bronwyn.

Speaker 1 Oh

Speaker 1 my

Speaker 1 God.

Speaker 1 And then your neighbor was like, who? Yeah, no, literally. You know what's crazy? Brains, I just literally don't watch Real Housewives.

Speaker 1 What's crazy about the Bronwyn dog attack is she got attacked by her favorite thing because you know she's got all those dogs named after the house of cards characters.

Speaker 1 This show is the best show on television. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 All my dogs are named after characters from my favorite show, House of Cards.

Speaker 1 An insane show.

Speaker 1 Let me be Frank.

Speaker 1 Let me be.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. You are so fun.
I'm going to light you on fire.

Speaker 1 Let me be Frank. No, you know those dogs were named after, let me be frank.
Like, they're young dogs. And this girl is naming.
I mean, House No Cards was like 2013.

Speaker 1 It's an old show. So she must have started binging like a few years ago.
Don't those dogs look like newer than that

Speaker 1 yeah they're not like housebroken i mean if she had right if she had started the show when it came on like many of us did

Speaker 1 and then

Speaker 1 i guess she named her she might have named her dog for i would imagine her first dog was named frank and you'd think the second one was claire those dogs are old now those are old dogs really old 13 year old dogs i thought all of her dogs looked really young and i was like that's crazy that she named them that recently i mean i am looking at the dogs and they don't look old enough to be from OG seasons.

Speaker 1 So, bless up. She started watching House of Cards after

Speaker 1 all everything came out.

Speaker 1 After everything came out about Kevin Spacey, she said, Not only am I going to start streaming, I'm going to name all my pets after this. This is just conjecture.
We don't know.

Speaker 1 They could be. They could be.

Speaker 1 You know, those dogs have money.

Speaker 1 They can get everything replaced.

Speaker 1 They could get the substance.

Speaker 1 Hey. Group minds, group minds.
Groom mind, groom minds. When you can get in a rhythm, ride the wave, babe.

Speaker 1 One foot in the grave and another on appeal.

Speaker 1 Look at that melody.

Speaker 1 Another on appeal.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean. Banana.

Speaker 1 You need to be in the minions movies. Wait, Erica Jane.
We're on appeal.

Speaker 1 For legal reasons. We're on appeal.
We're on appeal. We're on appeal.
For legal reasons. Tom was an evil man.

Speaker 1 Tom. Oh, no.
But it was. Tom's son was driving it.

Speaker 1 He hated better. The car flipped.
So, yeah, there's a logo.

Speaker 1 He's iconic. He's amazing.
The car flipped over how many times? Three. Three times.
Because it was snowy and bad. Kyle was just like,

Speaker 1 what? Or what? Or what? Or what? What?

Speaker 1 You're ugly, Liz.

Speaker 1 Shut the fuck up. Kyle, hey, girl.
Girl. What do you have to say to Kyle Richards?

Speaker 1 Talk to the camera. Because after you say it, we're going to do it on Thinks Honey, and then we're going to let him pee, finally.
Please. Girl, you got to

Speaker 1 speak truth to power. Yeah.
Who's the power? She's the power. I think, unfortunately, she's the power, and we've given her too much of it.
I agree. Speak.
Be honest. Yeah.
Say, okay,

Speaker 1 say I'm gay. Or say I was gay for a second.
Yeah. Or say Mauricio cheated on me with Dari.
Just say it.

Speaker 1 My take on Kyle is she literally the cameras are only there for her own comfort because I do think she's dealing with a pretty real thing, which is that she's separated from her husband.

Speaker 1 He's not around and none of her kids are around. So I think the cameras are there more so that she can have

Speaker 1 people that she knows there so she doesn't spin out, but she shouldn't be on the reality show anymore if she's not willing to portray her reality, which she's not willing to do in any shape or form.

Speaker 1 Period.

Speaker 1 No, you're very right.

Speaker 1 Philosopher can't. Tell your brain scientist

Speaker 1 neighbor that to chew on that for once.

Speaker 1 The ozone's making him spit fire. Yeah.
Dog attacks are up, you know. And you know what?

Speaker 1 Fucking, you know what? I changed everything. I said,

Speaker 1 that woman was mauled. Yes, she was.
And you made a joke out of it. You made humor out of it.
And it sucked. It wasn't comedy.
It was humor.

Speaker 1 And Sarah, it sucks sucks to sit here while you did that, cheering on violence against women. You know what? This week.

Speaker 1 This week. If you don't laugh, you'll cry, I believe the phrase goes.

Speaker 1 The old adage.

Speaker 1 You said that like Yoda.

Speaker 1 The phrase goes, I'll believe. Just someone looking dead in your eyes.
It's too funny. That's too funny.
Too funny, too furious. That's all you had to say to Kyle?

Speaker 1 Did you just give him time?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Bye, Bye, Eileen.
Like and subscribe. Lost Colch.

Speaker 1 Can I? Kyle by Nosferat 2.

Speaker 1 Oh, Kyle would have been good in that. She should have been in Lily Rose Depp's role.

Speaker 1 Goldie Rose Depp? Lily Rose Depp. I thought you said Goldie Rose Depp.
Goldie Rose Depp would be funny. Brittany could have played that.
Brittany Bateman?

Speaker 1 Did you see Nosferatu? Yes, clearly. You saw it.
This is awesome. You loved it.
Your top two of the year are Nosferatu and Substance.

Speaker 1 My top two of the year are the substance and the real housewise of Salt Lake City, which is in an alley. Period.
Great.

Speaker 1 You ever just stop in the middle of a crazy day and realize, wow, I needed a break. It literally happened to me yesterday.
I cracked open a Diet Coke, sat back for five minutes. Total reset.
Right?

Speaker 1 There's something about the crispy, refreshing taste of an ice-cold Diet Coke. It just hits.
It's my little me moment, like make time for a Diet Coke break, you know? Exactly.

Speaker 1 Diet Coke is the perfect companion for all break moments. Diet Coke.
This is my taste.

Speaker 1 Two questions. What are you doing right now? And why aren't you on a Virgin Voyages Caribbean cruise? Well, obviously you were listening to us.
Smart use of your time. True.

Speaker 1 But you could also be on a Virgin Voyages Caribbean cruise at the same time. That's just brilliant time management.
Very true. This gives me an idea.
Let's do a quick cruise quiz. Ready?

Speaker 1 First, cruise dining. Do you prefer a buffet or a curated dining experience with access to 20 distinct restaurants? Curated dining.
Next. Okay, good choice.
That's what Virgin Voyages offers.

Speaker 1 Second question. Would you rather have an overstuffed itinerary or the freedom to explore stunning Caribbean? Oh, I want the freedom to explore stunning Caribbean destinations.

Speaker 1 Again, I think I see where this quiz is going. Virgin Voyages is amazing.
Yeah, absolutely. The cruises are...
kid-free.

Speaker 1 From sunrise yoga to late-night cocktails, every moment is made for grown-up fun. Nothing against kids.
Kids are awesome, but sometimes it's nice to be kid-free.

Speaker 1 And there's so much included value, over $1,000. Right, over $1,000 of awesomeness all included.
Wi-Fi soda, top-tier entertainment, over 20 restaurants, and even group fitness classes.

Speaker 1 No hidden fees, no surprise charges. Virgin Voyages gives you the kind of luxury you actually deserve.
And you know what? I deserve luxury. You do, and me too.

Speaker 1 Yes, there's always something happening on board. From wellness-focused sailings to epic holiday voyages, live music, DJs, themed parties, and more, boredom doesn't board the ship.

Speaker 1 And there are so many amazing stops. You leave from Miami and sail to places like Grand Cayman, Jamaica, Puerto Rico, and the Dominican Republic.

Speaker 1 Virgin even has their own private beach club in Biveny. And they're adding stops in 2025 and 2026.
Yeah, like Aruba, St. Lucia, and Curacao.
But it's not all go, go, go.

Speaker 1 Right, you can totally go into relaxation mode too. Your cabin is a full-on sanctuary.
Private terrace, ocean views, and their signature red hammock just waiting for you to swing.

Speaker 1 Oh, and did I mention Virgin Voyages is launching a new ship, the Brilliant Lady? Brilliant name, by the way. She's bigger, bolder, and packed with even more Virgin Wow Factor.

Speaker 1 Book now at Virgin Voyages.com or contact your travel advisor. That's virginvoyages.com.
Okay, so you know how the world is a chaotic, swirling ball of total stress right now?

Speaker 1 Well, we have a new Hulu show from Ryan Murphy that will give you the much-needed break from reality. And whether you know it or not, you are already completely obsessed.

Speaker 1 It's called All's Fair, and Ms. Kardashian plays Allura Grant, the most in-demand divorce attorney in Los Angeles.
Get it?

Speaker 1 It's All's Fair, as in All's Fair in Love and War, and she's a divorce attorney. Love it.
Now let's talk ensemble because Allura does not go it alone.

Speaker 1 She breaks off from a crusty male-dominated law firm to start her own legal coven with some absolute forces of nature. Naomi Watts, Nici Nash-Betts, Tiana Taylor, and Glenn Close.

Speaker 1 Yeah, hello, Glenn Close. And of course, you need a villain, so say hello to Sarah Paulson as the nemesis.

Speaker 1 And these ladies are brilliant, complicated, fearless, and when they all come together, nothing can stop them. I'm talking about the lawyers on the show and the actresses playing them, by the way.

Speaker 1 But hey, if you're thinking this will be all courtroom drama and no drama drama, relax. Allura, that's Kim's character, has plenty of twists and turns in her personal life.

Speaker 1 Her professional life crashes into her personal one, and uh-oh. So, how does this super lawyer fix her own mess? With a little help from her besties, of course.
So, this series has it all.

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Speaker 1 So it's time for I Don't Think So Honey. This is our famous segment, Sarah, where we take one minute to really take down something in a culture that we feel deserved it.
This is our moment to do that.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Do you have something? I don't really have anything. Okay.
But do you? I really do. And you know, you actually know about mine, too.
I know about it. Yeah, okay, then it's going to be amazing.

Speaker 1 I can go first. Okay.

Speaker 1 This is Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So Honey, and his time starts now. I don't think so, honey, humidifier.

Speaker 1 I'm waking up in the morning. You're blasting off all night in the corner.
I'm waking up in the morning, lips still chapped. How come is that?

Speaker 1 How come is that, humidifier? If you're not

Speaker 1 doing the do, then I can't give the give in my everyday life.

Speaker 1 I'm walking around with chapped lips and a chapped ass while we're at it, all because the droplets, the mist, whatever you do, what do you do? What do you do well? Successfully.

Speaker 1 Successfully, in the words of Bianca Del Rio, to LaGondra, Estrada. What do you do successfully? Humidifier.
Tiny Kay Bonnet, to be honest. To Trinity.
Oh, I thought it was to La Gondra. 15 seconds.

Speaker 1 That's an amazing season of television. Great season.
RuPaul's Drag Race Season 6. And we're going to be reviewing it.
And we're going to be reviewing. We're doing a recap podcast on our Patreon.

Speaker 1 Just kidding. We dragify.
Drag Race review. Rupa.
Five seconds.

Speaker 1 Humidifier. do your job.
Thank you. That was one minute.
Bowen, would you say that you were dry as your mother's vagina? Vagina. Sort of like your vagina.
Sort of like your vagina.

Speaker 1 Lagondra should have won that season. That was an amazing season.
For an impact on culture, she should have. Oh, absolutely.
You know what? Put my time on.

Speaker 1 I don't think, so, honey, that Lagondra Ostrandra didn't win season six of Robust Drag Race. You're still quoting it.
You're still obsessed.

Speaker 1 Bianca, Bianca, we love you.

Speaker 1 We're not quoting. I guess I just did.
Not today saying young we still.

Speaker 1 You know what, Bianca? You deserve your victory. It should have been a tie.
The Monet Exchange Trinity K bonet tie shouldn't have been the only tie. LaGonda should have tore up that win.

Speaker 1 Just like she tore up the whole season.

Speaker 1 And I feel very attacked that she didn't win. In fact, you know what? I've actually hung out with LaGondra Estrona.
A lovely person. Of course.

Speaker 1 And let the girls have their marijuana if they needed to be right because she probably would have actually ate down on that season. Truly.

Speaker 1 Even more than she already did if they had allowed her her little

Speaker 1 medicinal

Speaker 1 marijuana. And you know what?

Speaker 1 Of all weeks, to not let Lagonja smoke weed on season six, of all weeks you pick this week?

Speaker 1 I don't think so, honey. And we're not headed in the right direction in this country.
We're not. And that's one minute.
Does anyone know? Could anyone do the stand-up set by heart?

Speaker 1 Sort of like Ovagon.

Speaker 1 Can we, can we? Hey, hey, hey, hey, get your lighted up. Get your lighters up.
My name is Lagonda. Hold on.
We need to do it.

Speaker 1 We need to pull it up and do a reading. Lagondra stand-up set.

Speaker 1 And also, I respect the hell out of her that she will not return to the show. Oh, because,

Speaker 1 yeah, I'm sure they've asked many times because who wouldn't want to see that? She came back to absolutely slay Ellipsing to do Alipa's physical. Yes, that was a good time.
It was a total knockout.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 she won't return to the show to compete because it's like she's had it. Good.
Okay. What is it? Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Put your lighters up. Ganja's in the house.

Speaker 1 Ew, as you can tell from my accent, I'm from Dallas, Texas.

Speaker 1 And it was not very easy growing up looking like this.

Speaker 1 Whether I was playing in my grandma's clothes or putting on a show for my well-organized, alphabetically ordered peanut babies, I was googa-googa, gay, okur.

Speaker 1 But it wasn't until I moved to Los Angeles that I discovered marijuana. I mean, I like to smoke.
Y'all, I'm just flying high as your receding hairline, okur. Marijuana really does help me calm down.

Speaker 1 So y'all, I went to Valencia where they filmed the TV show Weeds. Now y'all, it's very dry.
It's almost kind of like your vagina. Can I get a name really?

Speaker 1 Amen. Now, y'all, I'm a tree hugger because if it ain't green, I'm not interested.

Speaker 1 Can I tell you something? Had she done this in a way that, like, at the time really owned it, like, had she been high, it would have

Speaker 1 been

Speaker 1 like, had she come out and done this? Like, it to me is funny. Because if it ain't green,

Speaker 1 I'm not interested. That's a killer.

Speaker 1 But this is what I'm saying: is

Speaker 1 she created what comedy is, right?

Speaker 1 Like, right. This podcast wouldn't exist.

Speaker 1 You think this podcast would exist? You think the comedy cellar was built in a day?

Speaker 1 Angie Kay needs a set at the comedy cell.

Speaker 1 We need Angie Kay and Laganja Estranja doing like a travel show together. Yes.

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 I bet Angie Kay smokes some reefer.

Speaker 1 Don't laugh, Rebecca.

Speaker 1 No, her house is too pointy. I would be afraid of it.
You with the shapes of tips of things.

Speaker 1 The shapes of tips. What else? What else? Your head.
What else? You said am I a triangle? Am I a triangle? You asked like 15 times. I'm a visual learner.

Speaker 1 Are you?

Speaker 1 Anyways,

Speaker 1 cool. When I look at her house, I go, I would like, if I was too high, I would like fall and down and hit my head on one of those pointy marble slabs.
I know.

Speaker 1 I appreciate a house that's really dangerous to live in, though. That's actually my aesthetic.
Like a hazardous place with where if you even think about bringing your kids, they're going to get hurt.

Speaker 1 Right. Don't bring kids into my house.
Don't bring kids into my refrigerator house. Exactly.
My house is ice cold and pointy as shit. Remember when Monica fell down the stairs?

Speaker 1 Oh my

Speaker 1 god.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Didn't her mom ate guacamole and send my green ice cream or something? Monica's mother, we forgot how crazy that was.
Craziest woman.

Speaker 1 But was her name? Like

Speaker 1 Tippy Hedren or something?

Speaker 1 Tippy Hedron. That's what it was.
Tippy Hedron. Yes.
Thank you. I feel like it kind of was that.

Speaker 1 What was it? Wonica's mom's name. Linda Darnell.
What did I say? Linda. Tippy Hedron.

Speaker 1 You were right. Tippy Hedron.

Speaker 1 All right. So

Speaker 1 this is Sarah's. Mine's like, you guys are going to have to edit it out.
It's going to be so fucking brutal. Okay.
Oh, shit. This is Sarah Sherman's.
I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now.

Speaker 1 And I'm speaking my truth. This is, you know, this is true.
I know the clock is running out. I'll take my time.

Speaker 1 How much I wonder.

Speaker 1 Santa Maria Novella. I don't think so, honey, that you reformulated my patchouli.

Speaker 1 I have been wearing the same patchouli from Santa Maria Novella for five years. I went to go buy another bottle, spray it on me.
I go, I'm sorry. Why is it not spraying sticky?

Speaker 1 Why is it not so sticky? Why is it not coming out smelling like balsamic vinaigrette and stank and rank? Why does it not, why does it smell nice? Why doesn't it smell like a dog peed on me?

Speaker 1 You changed it.

Speaker 1 I called the office in Italy. They've been making perfumes there in an apothecary.
Monks make the perfumes since the 1600s in Tuscany. Five seconds.
I call them and I say, you reformulated.

Speaker 1 They said, no, we didn't. I go, but when I spray my shirt, it's not stained brown.

Speaker 1 Because that was the old formula. That's funny.

Speaker 1 Keep going, though.

Speaker 1 My old batchouli formulation.

Speaker 1 You used to spray it on your shirt. There would be a big brown stain like you spilled soy sauce on you.
We're not going to stop it. Just the way I like it.

Speaker 1 This is just too brutal. Brutal.

Speaker 1 Just too brutal.

Speaker 1 Just the way I like it. The bottle would be so sticky, brown, sticky all over like syrup.
You couldn't even touch it.

Speaker 1 I used to be able to walk into a fucking elevator and everyone would go, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 1 Get a job, hippie. And now it smells nice.
And then they gaslight me and I call and I was like, hey, you guys. Hey, you stupid monks.

Speaker 1 Change it back. You freaks.
You queerdos. You freakish monks.

Speaker 1 Get fucked. This Italian woman is like, no, it's the same.
I email every email. Yeah, do the accent.
Bungiorno. Okay.
No.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. That sucks.
Mama Mia. That's a patchouli pizza.

Speaker 1 You're on an SNL.

Speaker 1 Hey.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not.

Speaker 1 Actra down. Actra.
And they

Speaker 1 so well, you know what I have to do? I have to go on eBay. I have to Google Santa Maria Novella Patchouli.
And guess what comes up? Bottles, literally with one tablespoon of the patchouli left.

Speaker 1 And I'm buying it for $150 because that's how badly I want it. And everybody knows.
And that's why everyone on eBay is upcharging. Literally, I've got it.
Because Sarah's buying.

Speaker 1 Because Sarah's buying, and they are trying to upsell thimbles left of this old patchouli formulation. So I beg you, Santa Maria Novella.
I know the platform that this podcast has.

Speaker 1 Clock has been. Oh, no, I stopped that clock.
I know what the power of Lost Culture says. So I don't think so.
So in conclusion,

Speaker 1 I don't think so, honey. The gaslighting of women on a day, week like this.
Yeah, on a week like this. Yes.

Speaker 1 Wow. Do you remember how upset I was? No, this was the saga, but I thought it had been resolved.
I thought you had found the patchouli again.

Speaker 1 Well, I found this is what fucking happened. Then I found the bottles on eBay that people were reselling the half-empty bottle.
But now everybody's caught on that the patchouli is different.

Speaker 1 But how does everybody

Speaker 1 on eBay? But how do all these eBay people have a little droplet left over? Like, who are these people? I don't know.

Speaker 1 I literally, there's like, there's, there's, there's someone for everyone out there. There is someone for everyone.
And it just, they, they change it and it smells like nice.

Speaker 1 And I, I liked when I smelled like vinegar. Yeah.
I used to smell when I used to come into my office. I used to smell not like patchuli.

Speaker 1 Just keep breathing and breathing and breathing and breathing.

Speaker 1 When I breathe in, I smell patchula.

Speaker 1 You should just put vinegar in the bottle. Vinegar and soy sauce.
Well, I just put vinegar, soy sauce, stinky socks,

Speaker 1 dog pee, cat pea.

Speaker 1 And now it smells like grass. I don't think so, honey, smelling like nice grass.
It smells like pussy midless on the shelf.

Speaker 1 Smells like pussy on the shelf. Well, my time restarted.
I got a UTI

Speaker 1 from holding in this piss. The hemorrhoid of the penis

Speaker 1 isn't that bad. Well, it's you know, I've been holding it in for a while.
You can't ask for the third time if it's that bad.

Speaker 1 More time has passed. It could be Logan Roy going to the brain, drive you piss crazy.
What?

Speaker 1 Is that what happened to Logan Roy? He went piss crazy on that one episode. Is that what

Speaker 1 he died? Who's your favorite Roy?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 wow.

Speaker 1 Kendall. Kendall Kendall.

Speaker 1 That is just, that's Long Island. Kendall Roy triggers me because that's Long Island.

Speaker 1 That is every person we grew up with down.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. If they had had money, which around me, well,

Speaker 1 whatever. Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 That's why it triggers me. You know what I just remembered that you guys are that he has to pee really bad.
No, wait, what did you remember? For the fifth-grade talent show, my friends did a dance.

Speaker 1 dance to hit y'all and they were like sir you can like be in the back and like press play on the boom box that's that's a traumatic memory

Speaker 1 they have to switch out the cards because we've been going for two

Speaker 1 so we're gonna end it this has been so wonderful it was great to get to know you a lot

Speaker 1 i don't want to end this trust

Speaker 1 the great thing about you guys having Booked SNL is now you get to go hang out with each other even more. And you know what I want you guys to do? Write something together this week, guys.
We are.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you. We are.
Here we are. Trust me.
I legit am tired from laughing.

Speaker 1 It's crazy.

Speaker 1 We end every episode with a song. This song.
Hey.

Speaker 1 Hey, yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, Sarah, you can push the boom box in the back.

Speaker 1 Hey

Speaker 1 yo,

Speaker 1 hey.

Speaker 1 For more, listen to Outcast. Speaker Box.
Speaker Box. Love Below.
Love Below, the classic album. Double album.
Double album.

Speaker 1 AT Aliens.

Speaker 1 Lost Culture East. This is the production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Radio Podcasts.
Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.

Speaker 1 Executive and produced by Anna Hosnier and Hans Sani. Produced by Becca Ramos.
Edited and mixed by Doug Babe and Monique Laborde. And our music is by Henry Kabirski.

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Speaker 1 Get ready for your next TV obsession, All's Fair.

Speaker 1 Starring Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts, Nisi Nash Betts, Tayana Taylor, with Sarah Paulson, and Glenn Close, a team of fierce female divorce attorneys leave a male-dominated firm to start their own.

Speaker 1 Filled with scandalous secrets and shifting allegiances both in the courtroom and within their own ranks, these ladies know that lawyers are a girl's best friend.

Speaker 1 Don't miss All's Fair, now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.
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Speaker 1 This is an iHeart podcast.