How Do You Mess Up Praising Grandmas?

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same premium wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying.
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Default terms at Mintmobile.com. Hello, Los Angeles.
Welcome to Love It or Leave It. Very excited to be able to tell you that Crooked Media and the Crooked Media Workers Union have ratified their first ever contract.
I am less excited than now every time I ask my producers to do remotely anything, they send me a Britney meme saying, I'm union, bitch. And congratulations on those 49 days of PTO.
That just means 49 more days when we're just friends outside of work. Tonight, Roxane Gay and I shoot the shit and absolutely nothing else.
Then Ashley Ray and Simon Rex blink twice. Then we all spin it back to our favorite segment, the rant wheel.
But first, let's get into it. What a week.

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz spoke at a convention of public employees in Los Angeles on Tuesday.

He would have gotten here Monday, but there's already traffic for the 2028 Olympics. God,

we are not going to be ready. Also, imagine Tim Walz making his way around Los Angeles.

The grocery store is called what? The smoothies cost how much? What do you mean, CMOS? Walz kicked off his appearance by saying this. I happen to be the first union member on a presidential ticket since Ronald Reagan.
But rest assured, I won't lose my way. Wow.
Damn. Take a shot like that at Reagan, you'd think he was trying to impress Jodie Foster.
Walls spoke about Harris working at McDonald's as a student and drew a comparison with Donald Trump. Can you simply picture Donald Trump working at a McDonald's trying to make a McFlurry or something? It's oh, he knows he knows he knows he knows he couldn't run that damn flurry McFlurry machine if it does him anything.
So I'm not sure that's the test we want to use. Can you picture Barack Obama making a McFlurry? Everyone in line would be like, whoa, check it out.
It's former President Barack Obama. Besides, no one can work the McFlurry machine until the one living McFlurry machine repairman, who I assume is the richest man in America, can make his way to Shreveport, Louisiana to fix the first machine on his work order.
Wallace wrapped up his speech with a reminder that hope is not enough. But my wife often reminds me, hope is a great word and a beautiful name, but it's not a

damn plan.

We can't hope that we defeat Donald Trump.

We can't hope that we can collectively bargain.

We can't hope we protect Social Security.

We can't hope that we address climate change.

You don't hope to win.

You plan, prepare and work to win.

Fuck yeah.

Let's fucking go.

I'm ready to win this election or softball game.

He's hitting all the dad cords.

I'm getting confused.

Now let's go out there and vote and or fuck up Mankato East.

In the face of a drop in polls and a series of meandering and counterproductive public

appearances by the Republican nominee, Republicans are getting nervous. Nikki Haley advised Trump to shut up about the size of his crowds already.
I want this campaign to win, but the campaign is not going to win talking about crowd sizes. It's not going to win talking about what race Kamala Harris is.
It's not going to win talking about whether she's dumb. It's not.
You can't win on those things. Yeah, Trump, it's time to get back to the basics.
Hannibal Lecter and shark attacks. Also, there's something just something very like heart of darkness about Nikki Haley being like these awful and disgusting things that reveal your despicable, unrelentingly unacceptable moral failings.
Bad strategy.

Megyn Kelly said this about Trump on her show Wednesday.

Like, he rambles.

He goes on too long at his rallies and in these exchanges and at his presser the other day to where you get kind of bored.

You lose the thread.

And I think that's probably an

age related change. Yeah, yeah, I know.
Yeah, it's fucking sharp as a tack. I do take issue with this.

People don't naturally get boring as they age. Joyce Carol Oates is 86 and she is more captivatingly

insane on Twitter with every passing day. Kellyanne Conway lamented just how much everyone loves

Kamala. Everybody's making her whatever they need her to be.

She's so good looking.

She's so smart.

She's so wealthy.

She's so funny.

She's close to her mom.

She doesn't really see their teeth and she doesn't really break their heart.

It's ridiculous.

Her daughter and her husband like her and when they talk about her in the press,

it doesn't make her sob into her 32-ounce-a-wallow of white zin.

On Wednesday, Trump held a rally in North Carolina and said this about the vice president. That's the laugh of a crazy person.
I will tell you, if you haven't known, she's crazy. She's crazy.
No, her laugh is career threatening. They said don't that moment that they've never truly made a woman laugh.
And they find that super threatening. Speaking of men who freak out when women have fun, in a newly resurfaced podcast interview, Joybird Defiler Vance seemed to agree with the host when he said that helping raise grandchildren is the whole purpose of post-menopausal females.
And you can sort of see the effect it has on him to be around them. Like they spoil him.
There's sort of all the classic stuff that grandparents do to grandchildren. But it makes him a much better human being to have exposure to his grandparents.
Well, I don't know. And the evidence on this, by the way, is super clear.
That's the whole purpose of the postmenopausal female in theory. If you're in a conversation where the other person says the words postmenopausal female and neither of you is a doctor and you don't leave the room like you've been shot out of a cannon, you should be shot out of a cannon.
Do you know how hard it is to say my kids love grandma in a way that makes 100% of people who haven't heard of Jordan Peterson deeply uncomfortable? Like the thought that he is expressing is so common and normal. What kind of a dipshit can fuck up saying baby loves grandma? The weirdness also continued with zero pushback from Vance.
Did in-laws and particularly your mother-in-law show up in some huge way she lived with us for a year right so you know i didn't know the answer to that no so that's a weird unadvertised feature of marrying an indian woman it's yeah it's in some ways the most transgressive thing I've ever done against sort of the hyper neoliberal approach to work in family. Normal way to let someone talk about your wife and her family like she's a car with heated seats.
We are getting very, like it's a little window into like a whole community of people talking to each other in this way to the point where they don't realize when they describe whole swaths of the population as miserable childless cat ladies, that they're off-putting. That that's the thing.
They don't realize it, right? They don't, they didn't know how bad he was because they didn't realize how bad he was to them. You know what I'm saying? In an interview with Laura Ingram, Judge Doody Vance pushed back on the idea that suburban housewives actually care about abortions.
He said suburban housewives don't actually care about abortions, he insisted, because they care about normal things. Well, first of all, I don't buy that, Laura.
I think most suburban women care about the normal things that most Americans care about, right? They care about inflation. They care about the price of groceries.
They care about public safety in the streets where their kids play. In a recent poll of the exact people he patronizes here, 69% of suburban women describe themselves as pro-choice.
77% of suburban women say abortion should be legal in all or most cases. Six in 10 abortion patients in 2021 had at least one previous birth.
You'll tear abortion rights from their cold, dead Stanley cups. Speaking of people who talk a lot about ice, needing ice, that kind of thing.
Donald Trump on Thursday connects to the cup. Gave a press conference.
Donald Trump, he did a press conference. to hammer home his message about consumer product prices.

Trump had Folgers, Maxwell House, and Jimmy Dean on full display behind him as he spoke. This sent viewers a very clear message.
This is what groceries look like. When Trump finally made it to the podium, interestingly, Trump stuck to his notes more so than he had in recent memory.
Trump said, I will do the economic speech everyone is yelling at me to do, and I will do it from the script. But I'm not walking more than 10 steps outside my house.
I'm reading it like a hostage. And the second someone asked me a question, it's Donald time.
One question in particular really set Trump off. Many of your allies who want you to win in November say your current strategy isn't working, that you need to stop with the personal attacks on Kamala Harris and deliver a more disciplined message.
Do you agree? You can actually see the moment that he's been activated. You can see in his eyes that the string in his back that makes him talk has been pulled.

The question is, will you control yourself just a little bit in order to actually make a case against your opponent that sticks, that isn't swamped by endless news cycles about your complaining?

And the answer that he gave to that question was a literal 10 minute no.

Here's what he said.

I think I'm entitled to personal attacks.

I don't have a lot of respect for it.

Thank you. General, 10 minute no.
Here's what he said. I think I'm entitled to personal attacks.

I don't have a lot of respect for her.

I don't have a lot of respect for her intelligence.

Fani, F-A-N-I, Fani, with her boyfriend.

With Hillary, she was subpoenaed by Congress to give everything she's got. And she burned it.
She acid washed it. Bleach bit, they call it.
She totally scrubbed it. And then they broke everything with hammers, with fire.
They burned it. where you have a very, very biased voting population and a judge whose hatred of Donald Trump was beyond belief.
That's going to really hurt Hillary in Wisconsin. Fantastic.
More, more, more. But what if, what if the person we're watching is a person who does not have the words or space or support system to deal with trauma? That's right.
You know what that sound means. This is the part of the show where we empathize with Donald Trump.
According to a story in Vanity Fair, Republicans close to Donald Trump are concerned by the former president's new habit, compulsively watching the video of his near assassination on repeat. This is the most relatable he's ever been, said that French pole vaulter who was hit in the crotch during the Olympics.
As someone whose doorbell camera captured footage of him tripping in his driveway, eating shit and dropping the McDonald's he was carrying. I know that you must stop watching in order to begin to heal.

But maybe just one more time though.

Okay. A couple nuggets fell, fell loose, but most of them survived.
Most of them survived.

Yeah, I ate them. Let's all normalize eating food off the ground.

What are we doing? Yeah. Oh yeah.
No, no. Yeah.
The, the pristine, the pristine immaculate safe,

uh, clean room IBM five clean room area of the McDonald's bag has been

violated. Yeah, I think

we're fine. Can eat a McNugget that touched gravel.
Speaking of enjoying

an elitist falling on his face, RFK Jr. reportedly tried to meet with Harris last week to discuss the

possibility of serving in her administration, perhaps in the cabinet, if he endorses her.

RFK Jr. says he likes being in cabinets because sometimes he finds delicious mice.
Not to propose a quid pro quo, but perhaps this will sweeten the deal, said RFK Jr., dumping a rotting bear cub carcass on the vice president's lawn. Harris and her advisors have ignored the offer.
Try and ignore this, shouted RFK Jr. as he dropped a second bear cub carcass on the vice president's lawn.
RFK Jr. then angrily tweeted, the Democratic Party of RFK and JFK was the party of civil liberties and free speech.
VP Harris is the party of censorship, lockdowns, and medical coercion. Kamala, please, there's still time to put this man in charge of the Pentagon.
Justin Timberlake Vance told reporters on Thursday that RFK Jr. should drop out and endorse Trump, noting he's much closer on the issues to President Trump than he is to Kamala Harris.
The main issue being, why doesn't my wife want to hang out with me? Former President Barack Obama dropped his 2024 summer playlist, which included 365 by Charlie XCX. Not to be outdone,

Donald Trump dropped his 2024 summer playlist, which includes the McDonald's jingle and what sounds like a caddy being hit with a golf cart from behind. Said Jabba the Dud Vance.
Music? Yuck. We actually have Jew Detector Vance's 2024 summer playlist right here.
Weirdly, it's just one track.

Speaking DETECTOR VANCE's 2024 summer playlist right here. Weirdly, it's just one track.

Speaking of sex that doesn't lead to children,

the CDC this week issued updated guidance for doctors about IUDs,

finally recommending that clinicians warn patients

about potential pain during insertion

and offer them the local anesthetic lidocaine

to reduce it.

These things make women so uncomfortable

the CDC is thinking of renaming them IUD Vance.

The CDC is also apologizing for the delay,

explaining, we thought the women were lying

and or suffering the rightful consequences

of Eve eating that apple.

We wish to thank American women for nagging us

like total bitches until we saw the light.

Come on. Come on, CDC.
It's not appropriate. Speaking of more compassionate medical care, on Thursday, the White House announced a deal with drug makers lowering the price of the 10 most expensive commonly used medications under Medicare.
The price drop was part of the federal government's first ever direct negotiation with pharmaceutical companies mandated under Biden's Inflation Reduction Act. The deal brings down the cost of blood thinners, heart and arthritis medications and diabetes drugs, saving the Medicare program over six billion dollars when it goes into effect in 2026.
Joe Biden is most in his element when he's embodying the platonic ideal of the old man president, making customer service calls less confusing, making heart medicine less expensive, make the lady on entertainment tonight talk slower, lower the flag for Gina Rowlands. And I don't think the notebook is good.
On Thursday, I don't think it's good. I don't think it's a good movie.
I don't think it makes a lot of sense. You never really understand why she leaves one for the other.
And that's the whole fucking point of it. On Thursday, Biden and Vice President Harris held a conference in Maryland to announce the deal and to take a few shots at Donald Trump.
The guy we're running against, what's his name? Donald Dump or Donald whatever. Donald Dump get him Joe I don't need him to land anymore

I just need you to have Donald Dump or Donald whatever. Donald Dump.

Get him, Joe.

I don't need him to land anymore.

I just need you to have fun up there.

This is your last Olympics, my friend.

You get out there and you breakdance.

Seriously, though, Joe was on a roll.

Let me tell you what our Project 2025 is.

Beat the hell out of him. What hell out of them what does it mean what does it mean doesn't make a bit of sense doesn't make sense but i don't care it's very much our project 2025 is beating the hell out of them whatever it means i don't care because it's very much biden's version of this Doesn't have to make sense.
It's the energy.

And speaking of not making sense, according to the Sarasota Herald Tribune, new college in Florida threw out hundreds of library books and books from the school's now defunct gender and diversity center. Nice try, Ron DeSantis.
The only place people are less likely to read these books than a pile outside a library is inside the library itself. A student told the Herald Tribune that she had asked the school officials if they could donate the discarded books instead and was told under state law the college cannot donate books purchased with state funding.
It's part of a right-wing campaign to cut down on learning accidents, which is one of the leading causes of learning in Florida. It's also why they banned Dr.
Bronner's and sued Snapple over the caps. Speaking of places with a lot of meth, a New Zealand charity accidentally gave out dozens of small chunks of meth disguised as individually wrapped candies, which have been donated by a member of the public.
First of all, think about that member of the public who gets home and goes to take part in some of their recently acquired massive stash of meth and realizes what they've done. According to the BBC, police have asked that if you have the sweets wrapped in the brand Rinda's yellow packaging to contact them immediately because it's party time.
Fortunately, and this is true, the candy tasted so bad that everyone who tried them immediately spat them out. Meanwhile, a widower named Jeffrey Piccolo has sued Disney for wrongful death after his wife ate at a Disney Springs restaurant and subsequently suffered a fatal allergic reaction.
The facts are actually very galling because the couple were repeatedly assured that the food was safe. Nevertheless, Disney has argued that the suit should be tossed out of the court because Piccolo signed up for a one-month free trial of Disney Plus back in 2019, in the course of which he consented to language about arbitrating all disputes with the company.
He really should have read the fine print, where he also might have noticed that Disney Plus is short for Disney, plus we kill your wife. And finally, Wally Amos, the entrepreneur behind the cookie empire famous Amos, died this week at age 88.
I prefer a chewy cookie or a combination of crisp and chewy to the famous Amos-style dry, crunchy cookie still. Did not wish him death.
One of his biggest supporters sent this statement to the press. She is for condolences.
He's survived by his daughter, Tori Amos. Up next, Roxane Gay brings out the big guns, and they're very cutesy, very demure.
Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
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And we're back! Please welcome to the stage. it's the bad feminist herself, the incredible Roxane Gay! Hi, it's lovely to see you! So, um, how you doing? Oh, I'm good-ish.
I mean, how are we all doing? I'm good. Yeah.
I see that. I'm choosing to be good.
Okay. That's a choice.
Now, I want to ask you something. So, you have this essay out about your decision to become a gun owner.
Yes. And one thing you say in the essay is that when you're backstage before events, because of the threats you've received, that you're a little more heightened.
Did you feel that way just now when you came out? No, I actually didn't because I just felt like John's got this under control. And clearly you do.
All right. Well, that's nice to hear.
I don't, I'm not sure I, well, I got you out here. You're making that confidence diminish.
Yeah, no, for sure. So fast now.
Now, have you bought your Harris Walls camo hat yet? I am so tempted, but I don't look good in hats. That too.
Do you think you don't look good in hats or do you think you haven't worn hats enough to be comfortable with how you look in a hat? Oh, I like my. Do you think you're one week of hat wearing away from thinking you look good in hats? No, I'm not.
I'm not delusional in that way. I mean, I do have some delusions, but that's not one of them.
Hats are not for me. However, I mean, look at that hat.
It's so attractive. And I'm from Omaha, Nebraska.
So, oh, my God, go Huskers. like Waltz who is from the western part of the state

where no one lives, but that's okay. I mean, I'm familiar with this hat.
I've dated this hat. Nice.
And it smells. Now, I just want to just, can you just give people just a sense, like this is a piece where you really talk a lot about your path to becoming a gun toting.
Well, I'm not toting it. Well, I mean, you know, it's in a safe, let's say.
Yes. Gun owner, in part because of your brother, who is a gun enthusiast and really encourage you to be one.
But can you just talk a little bit about why you ultimately said, despite misgivings, despite wanting more gun control, that you wanted to have a gun in your home? Well, I didn't want to. I just had gotten, the threats keep getting more and more acute, but sometimes it's just like a random asshole on Twitter or whatever they call it now.
And he's just saying words and they're mean and scary, but they're not specific. But as my career has advanced, the threats have become more specific and detailed, which lets me know this is not just someone spewing.
This is someone who's doing some Internet research. and it started to get alarming, especially once I started dating my now wife and the threats started to involve her.
There was a lot of antisemitism in the threats. And, you know, whenever you take all of this to law enforcement, they're like, we have to wait until something happens.
And that's not super comforting. And so I started, my brother has, was a avid gun owner, which we didn't know where that came from.
But he kept like, go get a gun rocks. You're going to love it.
Blah, blah, blah. And I was like, no, I'm good.
and finally he kind of made the argument one time too many and I thought you know this might

actually be an option.

And of course, I made his life.

He was so happy.

It was definitely the right decision.

And of course, you can't guarantee safety.

There's no such thing.

It's an illusion.

But I do want to rather have one and not need it than need one and not have it. Interesting.
So I have to say, like, there's a kind of pragmatism to how you're describing it here. But in the essay, it does feel more emotional.
Like, so one thing you say in the piece is, I revel in how capable I feel, what a welcome departure it is not to be an active participant in my life instead of passively seething at all the things I cannot control. In those moments, I am not merely a weapon.
I am a shield. I am not empowered.
I am powerful. Like that's what you describe as what it feels like to have a gun.
And that I am, I know that there's practical, practical reasons you want to have one,, but you talk a little bit about the way in which that kind of, cause, cause what that sounds to me when I see it is like, well, that would be a familiar way of describing having a gun to somebody on the right as well. Not that, that, that emotional connection.
It's not an, I don't know that I would call it an emotional connection. Instead I would call it, you know, one of the things I talk about early in the essay is, you know, I'm fairly shy and fairly passive when I probably should be more aggressive.

and when we took all of it

when I took all of this and you know my brother

knew some people in law enforcement and

I was there was this one

particularly insistent guy

and when they just told me you have to wait

for something to happen, that infuriated me. I don't want to just sort of wait for something to happen.
No one should have to live their life being a victim and waiting. And anyone who has dealt with stalking, with threats knows how horrible that feeling is.
And for me, that was just like one time too many

of being expected to sit quietly and wait

and not have any sort of agency.

And so I wanted agency.

And I think my motivations are entirely different

from someone on the right.

But if they're similar, that's fine too.

I guess we do have common ground after all.

And you can stand it. Yes.
Like, obviously, you have a specific set of circumstances. But when I hear people talk about the need, why they really care about gun access, why they're really against gun control, right? And why they really believe in that kind of NRA, the NRA talking points.
It's a different version of, but a similar shape to what you're saying. They're saying, I don't want to wait for somebody else to protect my family.
I don't trust the government to protect my family. I don't want to wait to become a victim.
I want to be in control. Yes, but I don't believe them when they say that.
Because oftentimes it is the people who are the safest that also spout this rhetoric about wanting to be safe and protect their family. I'm like, bro, your family's not in any danger.
And so it's not the same. And they also think it's a God-given right.
And I know that it's actually a right that has been bestowed by other human beings. And frankly, it started as purview of white men.
And it was the purview of white men for quite a long time. And so I think there's a difference when black women, when people of color, when women partake of their Second Amendment rights, because for many of us, safety isn't guaranteed.
It isn't the inalienable right that it is for so many of these people that shroud themselves in the Second Amendment. And I often hear them spouting this rhetoric.
And it's always interesting because I just think, what on earth are you afraid of in your suburban cosseted life? What do you think is going to happen? And they don't really have an answer. But I also think when you look at a lot of the conservative political rhetoric, they have decided to govern from a politic of fear.
And they have decided that we are going to terrorize our electorate in the hopes that that will help us secure power. And it's manufactured.
And so I try to recognize it as such. Yeah, no, I was very thought, everybody should read the piece.
Where can people find it? They can find it at Everand. It is a website for eBooks.
I curated a series of five essays from some incredible writers and they're all very long form essays and you get a free 60 day trial.

I'm going to work out my thoughts with you if that's okay. And, you know, tell me when I'm stupid or don't just, just think it.
No, yeah, they'll know too. So it's good to tell them.
There's sort of two competing truths that I was sort of feeling as I was reading this. And one was the knowledge that if there is a gun near you, it's dangerous to you, right? That if you're going to be killed by a gun, the most likely way in which you will be hurt by it is it will be by someone you know, most likely yourself.
Then after that, a partner or a friend, someone in your life, right? And you talk in the piece about the illusion of safety and control, but one thing I wanted to ask you about is it's not just the illusion of safety and control on the outside, but of the threats that people face inside. Because on the other side of that, right, is the fact that guns have not been traditionally something that women had.
And on the one hand, that has meant that women are, you know, women are much more likely to be killed by a partner, right? But the other hand, there are studies that show that when a woman moves in with a man who has a gun, their rates of suicide go up. Just being around a gun goes up.
No, I think it's being around a man. It could do it.
Could do it every time. I guess the two truths I'm trying to connect here is, on the one hand, women are at risk because they have not had the same cultural access or use of firearms.
On the other hand, the presence of a gun itself is dangerous to everyone around them, even though they can't see or accept that when the gun comes in the home. I think that life is dangerous.
And yes, I do believe you have to assume a certain amount of risk when you bring a gun into a home. And so we tried to mitigate that risk as much as possible with a gun safe.
My wife

and I took classes, et cetera. And also there's no men in our house or children.
So I feel much safer that way, but I'm much more afraid of the guns of policemen and policemen and policemen than I will ever be of a gun in my own house. I just, I'm sorry, but reality is such that I have to pick and choose what I'm afraid of.
And yes, safety is an illusion, but I don't mind harboring that illusion sometimes because I think we all need to feel safe. And the gun doesn't really make me feel safe.
And one of the things I write about in the essay is what really makes me feel safe is our dog. We got a pandemic puppy and he's amazing.
His name is Maximus Toretto Blueberry. Rottweiler, I believe.
No, he's a Maltipoo. Oh, Maltipoo.
I'm sorry. I forgot.
You're right. It says Maltipoo.
He weighs nine pounds and he is such a vicious predator. When, if someone is like even dreaming about our house, this dog knows it.
He and the mailman are having an impasse that I fear cannot be bridged. And so I always know, like, no matter what's going on, I know when someone's approaching the house.
And that's great. And so I will say this little tiny dog makes me feel safe, but the gun doesn't make me feel unsafe.
Do you think I should get a gun? I don't think you'll ever need one, but no, I mean, I think it depends on who you are, your level of risk tolerance and why you think you need one. If you just want to like shoot one for fun and get one.
Yeah. I mean, you could, but I don't know that you seem like the type.
Do you like to shoot? Um, like in games, you know, similar, you know, I'll, I'll do a wizard build and like a mage build, you'll, you'll end up having more of a range weapon. Sometimes I'll, I played demon hunter when I did Diablo four and that was a range weapon.
Those are crossbows. You're taking me back.

You are taking me back.

No,

I mean,

I think it's a very,

I think that people should do what they want.

I went skeet shooting one time,

but then I didn't hit any of them.

And I realized I was closing the wrong eye,

but I didn't think about that till I got home.

I've never tried skeet shooting,

but after watching the Olympics,

like my wife and I were trying to figure out like what realistically can we

bone up on between now and 2028 when the games are here.

Yeah.

Like,

Thank you. watching the Olympics, like my wife and I were trying to figure out like what realistically can we bone up on between now and 2028 when the games are here, like so that we can participate clearly break dancing.
Um, but maybe also some of that shooting because they were the cool glasses and the girl keeps flipping him down and then she's like, ah, I'm like, Ooh. And then the one guy who doesn't use the glasses at all.
I just feel like maybe I can try that. Yeah.
You just got to ask somebody which eye to close. Yes.
And I don't know that it's not the one you think. I know.
I think it's the other one, but the other one, it's a lot. It's like math.
No, I just, in all seriousness, I had this moment when, when, um, the assassination attempt happened. And I had this, I was sitting in my car when I saw it.

And I really was like,

had this sort of,

my whole,

my imagination just went forward.

And within seconds of seeing it,

the thought occurred to me that like,

you're going to want to have a gun in your house.

And it went away when Kamala became the nominee. Amazing, huh? But no, but, but sincerely, like there, that, like, I do think that like, you have these very real kind of threats that you faced that make it feel more logical, but it's never fully logical.
It's not, you admit that you're I, you know, I'm not saying anything in the piece you talk about how it's not fully logical. No, it's partly definitely emotional and wanting to have control in a circumstance that, you know, you'll never truly have control in.
You know, and I think it's interesting that you bring up the assassination attempt because what that made me think was yet again, here is evidence of why we need to ban assault weapons. And we all know not a single thing is going to happen, even though these people, their messiah almost lost a piece of his ear because of a man with a gun.
And so clearly people have a deep and emotional connection, but I don't find it to be defining. I, if someone said we're going to repeal the second amendment, I would be fine with it.
And I would actually think everyone would be safer. And I wish that we lived in a country where such a thing was feasible because it has happened in so many other countries.
And for whatever reason, it seems to be an inherent part of the American identity. Yeah.
There's something about to the like focus on, and we've talked about this in the show before, the focus on mass shootings. I think we almost prefer to talk about mass shootings than we do other forms of gun deaths because as because it's an easier thing to be afraid of because it's you're afraid of something that is random not something you can control right so you want the government to fix it right but the more than half of all gun deaths are suicides and nobody nobody when they buy i mean you you in this piece talk about is what I thought when I read the piece that, that you're at the gun store and a man who is divorced and living with his parent in his fifties is buying a gun on layaway.
And yeah, you know, my immediate thought is like, that's a, that's the exact kind of person that's buying a gun to potentially be one of the many people in that age bracket in those circumstances that is more likely to take their own life with a gun. We also don't talk about how common gun violence is between partners or between friends, right? That's the majority of gun violence.
We focus on the mass shootings, which makes us focus on the AR-15s, but you can get rid of AR-15s and we're still the most deadly place on planet earth because of the kind of quotidian

mayhem we're all accustomed to. Yes.
And I mean, there's a reason for that. It's because it's easier to point at something that's so obvious that we should get rid of.
And most people, we even see this with democratic politicians, like we need stricter gun laws. We need background checks.
None of them ever say that we need to not own guns. And so I think it's the politically safe and the politically viable thing for people to focus on, even though we do know the statistics about gun violence.
We do know that there are countless children every year that harm themselves. And it's not even only the people that die.
It's the people who are grievously injured and whose lives are changed by gun violence. And yet they have to also live with that change, live with the wounds that they get from gun violence.
And so, yeah, we should have a broader conversation. I just don't know how we get people to get there.
And the other thing that people don't realize is that 30% of Americans, give or take, maybe 35% own guns, but there are more guns than people in this country, which means that the people who love guns really, really love guns. And those are the people who are members of the NRA who are always so passionate in their advocacy for gun rights.
And so until we can reach those people and the sort of, the more middle of the road people who are like, well, it doesn't bother me. So why not? You know, we're not really going to get anywhere.
It's a problem and I don't know how we address it. Do you feel like you're kind of making at least your own case for why you have a gun?

Like we were talking about a piece before the show and somebody, this is the analogy

somebody had, which is it's a little bit like somebody who knows how bad single use plastic

is, but they're getting a water bottle because they're thirsty and it's not so big of a deal.

But then my other thought was, well, but you're asking for a straw, but you're also, we're

all turtles asking for straws, right?

Who can't, who don't expect the turtles end up, the straw to end up in their nose. Yes.
You know, do you think of yourself like that? No, I don't at all. I don't because I just, you know, I, I don't.
And maybe that's delusional thinking, but I think we're all afforded some once in a while. And I feel perfectly capable and I do not feel at risk from myself at all.
But I do feel at risk from many other things and am at risk from many other things. And so I'm kind of going to go with the devil I know.
And on the other side of that, you you just talk a little bit about what we talked about in the piece about that the freedom to have a gun is not equally afforded? No, it isn't. A great many black people either lose their lives or spend time in prison for supposedly standing their ground, which is part of the castle doctrine that if someone enters your domain, you have the right to shoot and take their life.
And this was the defense that George Zimmerman used when he killed Trayvon Martin, even though he was not in his castle. He was on the street driving his car.
And yet when Marissa Alexander tried to defend herself from her abusive ex-husband who was menacing her, she spent five years in prison and under house arrest.

And I'm forgetting his name, but there was a young man recently. He's in the Air Force.
He heard someone breaking into his home. He got his gun.
The police killed him. And so we are allowed technically to own guns, but that does not mean that we will not still lose our lives because we're not seen as legal gun owners.

Philando Castile tells officers, I have a concealed carry permit. There's a gun in my car.
He is not wielding the weapon and still he is killed. We see this time and time again, which is why safety really is an illusion.
And so you just have to decide what am I more worried about? The cop who might kill me for standing my ground or the person who is sending me death threats and telling me where I'm going to be next and how they're going to get into the building or like, you know, what? And it's unfortunate that people are even put into this position where you have to make these choices. And so the problem isn't do you go on a gun or not or what? Like the problem is how do we eradicate the kinds of violence that make people think that they have to turn to guns and people are not at all ready for that conversation.
So. Yeah.
And I do think that's the mental, the mental illness and racism and hate and isolation that leads people to be mass shooters, the intimate partner violence that leads to deaths using guns, the, the, like the, the just sort of acceptance of an amount of violence and violent behavior that we all live with. We seem to be just fine with it.
Like there's like, there is a real cultural tolerance for, oh, that happens sometimes. And you even see people start to internalize it.
Especially, I see this a lot in young women. Oh, yeah, I might get knocked around a little bit, but he loves me.
Like, girl, no, that's not love. And this is not a new problem, but we see it all the time.
The other night, I'm dating someone. Oh, congratulations.
It's not a big deal. And the other night, I woke up.
Dog's asleep, person's asleep. I get up because I have to go to the bathroom.
It's really dark. I kind of go into the bathroom.
I open up the bathroom door. They're in the bathroom.

They scream at the top of their lungs. I scream at the top of my lungs.
They scream at the top of their lungs. I scream at the top of my lungs.
I shouldn't have a gun. Before we let you go, here are some photos of queer people and you should tell us if they should own a gun.

Okay.

First up,

Ellen.

Oh,

no.

Next up,

Wanda Sight. tell us if they should own a gun.
Okay. First up, Ellen.

Oh, no.

Next up, Wanda Sykes.

Yes.

Nathan Lane.

Yes.

Okay.

RuPaul.

No.

Titus Andromedon from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, the character.

Absolutely.

I don't know. LeFou from the live action Schmidt, the character.
Absolutely. I don't know.

LeFou from the live-action Beauty and the Beast.

No.

Sadness from Inside Out 2.

No.

Look at the amazing haircut.

Wow, what's great about this show is everybody's just cool with saying that this is a queer person.

This is a queer thing.

This is a queer emotion.

I'm sorry, but look at the haircut and the glasses.

I know a dyke when I see one.

And finally, me, John Lovett.

All right.

I mean, we should have led with this.

All right.

I'm excited.

All right.

Thank you, Roxanne.

Everybody go check out Stand Your Ground

and the rest of Roxanne's essay series on Everland.

When we come back, Simon and Ashley give us some sweet, sweet Zillow talk.

Awesome.

Thank you.

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Excludes restaurants. And we're back.
Please welcome to the stage two stars. You can see him soon in Blink Twice.
It's the amazing Simon Rex and our incredible friend of the pod. It's Ashley Ray.
Hi, nice to meet you. Thanks for being here.
Thank you, Simon. Yeah.
I read somewhere that you are living in a shipping container of the desert. That's correct.
That's it. That's it.
That's my very one. I live in a shipping container in the desert.
Yeah. I moved off grid right before COVID.
I got that house near Joshua tree and I was, I just hit the wall of living in the human zoo. I was born and raised in San Francisco, lived in New York, lived in LA.
I was 45 at the time. And I said, I need some peace and quiet.
As you see, peace and quiet is out there. So I moved out there and I have peace and quiet.
And then I go there to unwind. And then when I get bored, I come here.
When I get annoyed here, I go back there I go back there and is it actually off the grid fully off grid like you do your own water water well septic tank a solar no power lines nothing have you watched the show love off the grid no it's about people who live off the grid and they date someone who was on the grid and they like come out and live off the grid if you wanted to be on it it together. Oh, I never.
Just a pitch. Okay, okay.
I'm open to that. Because I'm on grid, off grid, back and forth.
I'm by griddle. Yeah, I think I can handle it.
I just want, I think I could. He's by griddle.
Can you get like DoorDash out there? Nothing like that at all. You have to get your mail in town.
You have to drive your garbage into town. It's a dirt road, about 20 minute dirt road, no phone signal.
Once you leave my house, I have this wire, the satellite internet. And once you leave my house, 15 minute, no phone signal, which is a nice peace and quiet drive.
That is because you can't be on your phone. You're forced to look around.
Oh, wow. It looks nice though.
It's cool. It's minimal.
It's 450 square feet. It's probably the size of this stage.
The whole house is one big room. I had a girlfriend when I first moved in that we lived together during COVID.
And it was really tricky. If one of us had to zoom, the other one would have to go sit outside for privacy.
It was a very small coexisting living space. So you're telling me, uh, living in a shipping container and Joshua tree put a strain on the relationship.
Yeah. Didn't end.
We're not together anymore. So yeah,

no,

I,

I can,

it's yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's not for everyone.

I have some of my friends come out and they're like,

wow,

this is awesome.

And some of my friends like,

what are you doing out here?

But I like it.

Yeah.

I like it too.

Yeah.

Me too.

Again,

I think I could handle it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You've laid that out.

You've laid that out for us.

We get it.

I like what you're describing is a lot like love off the grid though. I can't believe I don't know that show.
I should be watching that. Do you download things before you go? No, no, I have internet, though.
You have internet. You have internet.
Okay, all right. Because he has to drive his trash in.
The what? The guy in the show has to drive his trash in. Yeah, that's what you have to do.
It's a whole situation. You'll want to be on it, and you can hit me up.
Okay, I'll check it out. I'm just saying.
Simon, you're in the new horror thriller, Blink Twice, directed by Zoe Kravitz. You shot at the Hacienda Temazone Sur in Mexico.
Yeah. Which is, I think, the most beautiful place I've ever seen in my life.
Yeah, look at that. That's cool.
It's an old, kind of creepy place. But now it's beautiful.

But it had like, I don't believe in ghosts.

But it would be haunted if the ghosts were real.

I invite ghosts to come hang out.

I don't think they could physically hurt you.

I think they scare you.

But they can't hurt you, right?

So I got to say, for a guy that doesn't believe in ghosts,

you got some very specific ideas of what they cannot do.

But then there would be cat ghosts and dinosaur ghosts would be taking up space.

Why just humans?

Why do we think we're the only ghosts?

That's a really important point.

I know.

Well, in a lot of ghost media, there are animal ghosts.

They are?

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah.

Ghost dog.

Yeah.

Oh, that's a movie, isn't it?

Yeah.

All dogs go to heaven.

It simply must be.

So, yeah, I just don't believe in ghosts, but maybe I shouldn't say that publicly Because now they're coming for me Right Do you guys believe in ghosts? That's how you conjure them Is talking about them on a podcast Do you believe in ghosts? I do I do believe in ghosts No But I think that Do I believe that there are Forces moving through us that we can't possibly understand that like sort of defy our comprehension? And then we use our three-dimensional brain in a multi-dimensional universe to kind of make sense of things that our brain simply cannot make sense of and describe them as ghosts. Yes.
Okay. I think.
Yeah. That's what I think.
Have you had any ghosts? Not personally, but I just feel like they could exist. Why not? It feels like I have a soul.
I believe I feel it. So sure, it could like wander around.
I believe you have a soul. Thank you.
Thank you. I feel it sometimes.
Ashley, the plot of the movie Blink Twice hinges on the question, if a tech billionaire who looks exactly like Channing Tatum spontaneously invited you to his private island, would you go? And the question is, well, would you? Yeah. Just here's Channing Tatum.
And here's Channing Tatum vaping, because we thought that would be maybe more appealing for you. That's my type right there.
Yes. So you'd go.
I'm absolutely going. Please.
Simon, personally, we were talking about this. We think America needs a revival of the scary movie franchise.
Oh, those were fun. Yeah.
I feel like you're right. And I think they're actually doing, they're bringing back Naked Gun, I believe, which is the same kind of humor, which is David Zucker, who did Airplane Naked Gun, which to me, I grew up watching those movies.
I love that kind of put your brain under your seat for 90 minutes

and just silly slapstick comedy.

Yes, we need that again.

We do need it.

We do need it.

What do you think Gen Z will think?

I think they'd love it.

I mean, most of TikTok is just like referential humor and repeating things.

And most of those movies, that's like what they were.

Scary Movie was just them recreating things from other movies and making it a

parody.

So how is this not back already?

There's a lot of material to make fun of.

Yeah,

there is.

Yeah.

There's a lot of material.

There's a,

I think they could do it.

Uh,

and I know the funniest people who were in it want to come back.

Anna Faris,

uh,

Regina Hall.

So yeah, they were, yeah, they Rex. This guy's sitting right fucking there.
Yeah. And he obviously wants to go back to the franchise.
They were fun. I think it kind of tanked with the last one.
I did three, four, and five. And by the fifth, Anna Faris opted out.
And that's when the magic was gone. Because she was the heart of it yeah yeah but those were fun because you were great in it thank you and I remember Kevin Hart was new at the time this was like 2003 we shot in Canada I remember Kevin Hart showing up and watching him and I goes this guy's gonna be a star and yeah he's a star he made it big and I remember seeing him just like this got the thing.
That was like his first movie. I went to a table read for the blacklist and, uh, and it was as cool as it sounds.
Uh, uh, and the movie actually eventually got made with it, with a different cast. It was like one of those things they're just like putting on a table read with just random, uh, actors who they could find in New York city who are willing to come to the theater and be part of a table read for no purpose.
They weren't casting anything. It was just for fun.
And this one guy was playing, it was a, it was a high school movie. And this one kid was playing like the, the funny sidekick, like the fifth character in the thing.
And when I say this guy, he fucking crushed. It was like one of the craziest things, like making every line, the whole place is going crazy for this guy.
It was Timothee Chalamet. Wow.
Wow. What year was this? Had to be like, I don't know, like 2014, 13, something like that.
I didn't know he did comedy that well. Yeah.
Well, he does.

At least he did that day.

I could see it for him.

I could.

Honestly, I thought you were going to say, and it was Austin Butler.

I don't know why.

I don't.

Yeah.

Used to live in my house.

Simon, inspired by your incredible digs, a shipping container.

We have a very special new edition of a classic love it or leave it game we'd like to to play Ashley. This is also inspired by your ability to have an opinion on everything, uh, which is why we're going to play.
Would you fuck this house? Nice. I love this.
Uh, Simon, Ashley, the game is very simple. I will show you a house.
You will have to tell us if you would fuck it. Obviously, this is not literal.

Or is it? Doesn't matter.

Alright, here we go. First up,

falling water in Mill Run, Pennsylvania.

Oh.

There's a joke there somewhere.

Yeah. It's making my water fall.

There we go. Hey.

There it is.

The only reason I wouldn't is because it's mid-century.

Oh. You know what? Again, to our discussion earlier.
Yeah, mid-century. Why? Everything has to be it? Boo.
I'm with you. It's enough.
I'm fucking this house. It looks like a lumberjack Don Draper, and I'm all about it.

All right.

The audience agrees. It is a sexy house.

I would have sex with it.

Yeah, it's sexy.

It is sexy.

But I think we're ready to turn on mid-century modern, everybody.

Get ready.

Buckle up.

You're going to live in a world where that's not everything.

You really like it.

It's the sexiest thing.

It's a sexy house.

It's a sexy house. No, I agree.
I agree. I'm not about Falling Water specifically.
I'm talking about West Elm. All right.
Would you fuck West Elm? What is going... Why? I don't understand how this one aesthetic got a hold of everybody.
Give me a break. Give me a fucking break.
Next up. The Biltmore Mansion in Asheville, North Carolina.

I've been there.

We've been there.

I didn't fuck it.

It's very regal.

It is.

I'd say it's really just not my type.

This isn't the kind of person I fuck.

I don't think I've ever dated someone with a good credit score.

So it just feels like it's out of my league. It looks like a racist house.
Yeah. That too.
Here's that too. Yeah.
No, it's a no for me. It's a pass.
If there was ghosts, they would be there. That's haunted as hell.
Yeah. I do think it's like, like in the movie, this is, you know, this is who Rose is trying to get away from in Titanic.

Yeah.

You know?

Could you have sex with a ghost?

Okay, so people have said

that they have.

Ooh.

Yeah, there's people

who have like interviewed

and talked about how they had sex

with a ghost.

Like receive or give?

Receive, usually.

Spooky. Yeah.
I gotta tell you, I think you believe in ghosts. I think you believe in them.
I'm just getting the sense that you might believe in them. Next up, we have the Flintstones house in Hillsborough, California.
Phallic. Yeah.

Mounds feel sexual.

It looks like some orange breasts.

Yeah.

It was formed with,

it was built with something called monolithic dome construction.

By the South brothers in 1975.

That was who created the, the, the technique.

And then a Bay area architect,

he got on it.

Yeah.

It's like an orange worm.

Those little,

those holes.

I kind of love it.

The more,

the longer I look,

the more I'm like,

you know,

like on a first date,

you first think,

Oh, I don't know if I like this person.

And slowly you're like,

okay,

okay.

I could see this.

Voluptuous childbearing rooms.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think it's,

I don see this. Voluptuous childbearing rooms.
Right. Yeah.
Yeah. I think it's space-like.
Yeah. I think it's like low gravity.
Has anyone had sex in outer space yet? Oh, probably. It's one of those ghosts.
Has anyone had sex in outer space? Not yet, probably. In the International Space Station? Yeah.
After a year alone? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
It's like, hey, after this docking, should we do some docking? I've had those two astronauts who are stuck up there right now are having sex. Yeah.
Well, that's interesting. That's interesting.
And if you got pregnant, what would the baby be any different? Does time not exist? Time? Because you're not rotating around the sun. No, no.
Don't they have more days? Yeah, don't you age different in outer space? Yeah, these are really important questions. Let's just take them one at a time.
I think you do age differently up there, but not for the reasons you're saying. Would the baby be fucked up? Probably.
But not again because of time. The amount of time you go around the sun might be different, but the baby wouldn't know.
But it still might be screwed up because there's no gravity up there. You know what I mean? Also, it stinks up there.
Yeah, because they can't pee normal. They can't pee normal.
Because there's no gravity. So they have to use a suction cup to pee.
They're disgusting. They just wipe each other.
They just wipe. They have wipes.
Imagine, imagine, imagine spending six months up there and all you're doing is going into a thing, drawing a curtain and wiping your whole body head to toe. And I do think that does create a sort of sexual environment.
It's like, you're seeing me at my worst. Let's just go at each other.
And cool. And that's why I would fuck this house.
And that's why you fuck that house. And you know, after you, after you have sex up there, you could say, I need some space.
You applaud that. Okay.
All right. Next up, we have Dr.
Gregory House.

This is not Hugh Laurie.

This is the spirit and essence of the character.

Dr. Gregory House.

He doesn't do it like the other doctors.

No, no.

I never liked his vibe.

Angry.

Yeah.

That works for me.

And not in a hot way.

Okay.

Teach their own. Tell me it's lupus.
All right. Look at those eyes.
And finally, we have the snail house outside Sofia, Bulgaria. Oh.
It's a one night stand. Okay.
Wow. I feel that this house looks like a child So I opt out I mean it looks like a fucking snail What are you talking about? It looks like a child It looks like a child snail house No thank you Yeah just because you said that's a pass now.
This looks like a house children took over, and they all live here and sing songs while they clean it. When you were on that beautiful resort, and you're making this movie, did you constantly find yourself saying, I don't need all this.
I just need 450 square foot inside of a metal box. This is too much for me.
Hey, do you feel weird being in big open spaces now because of all your time in the container? Well, you know, out there, the big open space is the great outdoors. Mother nature's undefeated.
She's beautiful. She can't lose.
She's the best. But inside the house, yes, very small, confined.
And you kind of live in hotel rooms on the road half the year anyway, so I like little cozy small dens. You don't need a lot.

It's actually more comfortable in a little cozy nook.

And I have a mini RV, like a sprinter van size RV.

And I live in that at times as well, which is even smaller, obviously.

And I like living in small, cozy spaces.

There's something more, I don't know, you sleep better than a big, like if you had to sleep in this room, it'd be like, ooh, ghosts.

Right.

Simon, thank you so much.

Ashley, thank you so much.

Blink Twice is in theaters now.

And if you're in LA, grab tickets to Ashley's comedy show, Flex.

When we come back, it's the rant wheel.

And we come back. It's the Rant Wheel.
And we're back.

Before the Rant Wheel,

we have some big shows coming up.

Love It or Leave It is back in the Windy City,

August 23rd at the Vic Theatre

for a post-DNC special.

Join me, author Josh Knoll.

We're going to talk about Malort

while drinking Malort.

And we have comedians

Marcella Arguello, Liz Winstead

and our favorite

Kamala Harris, Alison Reese

plus some other guests. We're adding some other

exciting guests. This is a good show and only

a few tickets left. Alright.
Next up

Pod Save America is headed to Phoenix

to swing state into action

on September 7th

and we're excited to announce that Love It or

Leave It will be doing a special show in LA at the Bourbon Room at a first time place we've ever been there before on September 7th. And we're excited to announce that Love It or Leave It will be doing a special show in LA at the Bourbon Room

at a first-time place we've ever been there before

on September 12th with special guest Jane Fonda.

And we have a bunch more awesome guests

lined up for that show.

We are 80 days out from the election,

so it's time to buckle down and get serious,

but not too serious.

So come say hi, crooked.com slash events.

Also, big news, the very first episode

of Stacey Abrams' new Crooked podcast, Assembly first episode of Stacey Abrams, new crooked podcast assembly required with Stacey Abrams is out now on assembly required. Stacey is breaking down some of the biggest issues in American politics and asking, how did we get here? What obstacles lie ahead and what can we do to get some good done? And the premiere episode, Stacey takes on one of the most fraught issues in American politics, the Electoral College, and spotlights the activists working to make

ranked choice voting a reality.

It's very inspiring, very interesting.

Everybody check it out. If you're looking for a pod that makes

your political conversation smarter and keeps you motivated

for the long haul, this is it. New episodes

drop Thursdays. Follow and listen

to Assembly Required with Stacey Abrams right

now, wherever you get your pods. All right.

Please welcome Roxanne Gay back

to the stage.

And did politics originate in ancient Greece?

I'm not much on the political spectrum.

Right.

Such an important question. I think in some sense, yes.
Right? In some sense, no. Oh.
You know? But where did it originate? I think in the flaws and hopes of the human condition, you know? Oh. Okay.
All right. Now it's time for the rant wheel.
Here's how it works. We spin the wheel.
And wherever it lands, we rant about... Well, that's how it used to work.
Now we just each get to rant when it lands on our faces. Roxanne, what would you like to rant about? My dog is on there.
That's actually, that's in fact, that's in fact my dog. Oh my God, really? Yeah.
That's amazing. Yeah.
Anything with a poodle. Max.
Yes. Yes.
Good job. Not Max.
Max is the dog. Max is the dog, but not this dog.
It's a different dog. What am I going to rant about? Why have we foregone lighting in film and television? It's just infuriating.
We just watched Presumed Innocent and great show. Jake Gyllenhaal looking very good and muscular and sweaty.
Earnest. But you can't see anything at all.
You kind of have to just like bring a lantern. And so I just feel like bring back lighting budgets.
Bring, I mean, Game other one and the other one like every show and movie now is so goddamn dark and I just always want to walk on there with just a little lantern I'm just saying fucking light your shit can I don't want to this may be a personal question has anyone really gotten in there in in there? Oh yeah. No, my, I I'm sorry, but my settings are pristine as are my televisions.
It is not a setting problem. And it's so infuriating when people are like, Oh, it's a setting problem.
Look, come on. We've had TVs for like a hundred.
No, I don't know. A long time.
60, 70, 80 years. Our settings are fine.
I want you to know something, though. It's only out of respect that I ask, because the more respect I have for someone, the more I assume they are not spending their time getting deep in the RGB in there, you know, getting real deep in the contrast, in the motion, making sure the motion flows off.
Yes. Well, it's the thing is, I don't have to do it myself.
I have an amazing man named Gary and Gary does all of that. And Gary is very anal about that stuff.
That's why I'm really confident about my settings. It's not me.
Everybody needs an anal Gary. Oh, he's so great.
He is so great. And his wife's book club reads my books.
So I always give

him books to take to her book club. Not just mine, like any book I think they would enjoy.

That's cool. It'd be weird if it were just your books.
It would. Cause you'd be like,

oh wow. Thanks.
Thanks so much. No.
Yeah. Looking for this.
Perfect. Let's spin it again simon what would you like to rant conspiracy theories really annoy me because first of all people just act as if they know for sure that they're real and okay it's not uh binary some of them might be true but the fact when people just sort of act as if every conspiracy theory is true it really bothers me because it's just like oh they right they are spraying chemicals they who's they first of all okay that's when it starts to get kind of problematic and a lot of people i think suffer from apophenia which is a 10 point word which i had to look up which basically means that people associate something like if they see the face of something uh Mother Teresa on a toast, they think it's a sign.
No, it just happens to kind of look like Mother Teresa. There's no conspiracy behind it.
There's no plan. Life is random and life is chaos.
And sometimes that's OK if you just accept the randomness of it all. I think you'll be more at peace instead of having to have some answer for everything, that there's some group of Illuminati's pulling the strings on everything.
I just don't buy it,

and I think people that use that as a crutch,

it's a little exhausting,

and I just wish they'd be open to saying,

or maybe I'm wrong.

It's like, if you want to have a conspiracy theory,

go on your whole thing,

but afterwards say,

or maybe not.

Very good.

Very good.

Was that a minute? It's perfect. Let's spin it again.
I wonder who it's going to be. Oh, who could it be? Ashley, what do you like to rant about? I am very, very upset about this push to bring back Indie Sleaze that's happening all over right now.
And also that they're calling it Indie Sleaze because that's not what we called it back in the 2010s. It was just being a hipster.
And now everywhere online, it's Indie Sleaze is back. Indie Sleaze is back.
I'm listening to Phoenix and Mac DeMarco. That's not what it was.
OK, OK. I was there.
I was trying to squeeze into American apparel and my Alita Jeffrey Campbell's and I was

twisting my ankle every night.

Okay.

But I know that society is not ready for Indy Sleaze as they call it to truly come back.

Like we're just not truly ready because I have been sitting here all night terrified

to call this man Dirt Nasty.

But that's how I know him. I'm sorry.
I didn't know Scary Movie, but I know Dirt Nasty and Mickey Avalon. Okay, I want to take a picture and bring back my MySpace just to post it with you.
Top eight friends. Yeah, absolutely.
And they know that's not what they're talking about. They don't know that it was a real indie sleaze and I'm just kind of sick of this stolen valor today with these kids being like, oh my gosh,

like I got my Los Angeles apparel circle skirt.

And it's like, no, back in the day, they didn't even make this past a size 10.

And it was so sad all the time.

Okay.

And you're like, first, you can't even do Coke now.

There's so much fennel in it.

Okay.

We can't have it come back.

And that's so important.

Let's spin it again. I want to talk about something very specific.
And it is this. It is happening too often that I'm going into a public restroom and I'm finding that someone has spit their gum in the urinal.
And there is nothing to me that better symbolizes how Trump happens, that the decline we see all around us, that in a room that 100% of the time has at least one garbage can expressly for the purpose

of throwing away paper towels if they have a little bit of gum in it, you are spitting your gum out into a device that famously cannot receive anything other than liquid. You are saying that in this moment, when you are peeing, that you are going to do something that is no easier than spitting it out in the garbage to create a disgusting problem for a stranger who only wants to go into this room, clean it as quickly as possible and get out.
And you are deciding that as part of that job, they have to pick up a piece of chewing gum with their gloved hand and throw it out for you for no reason whatsoever. It makes absolutely no sense.
It is a tiny bit of needless cruelty in an already cruel world. And I cannot fathom the mindset of a person that would do that because it is so free and easy to not do that.
That is what I thought before this show. And when I was saying this to Milo, he was like, oh, you've never done that? One of the sweetest, best people you could ever work with.
The guy is, he's the coolest guy. Always a kind word.

Always easy to work with.

Always the best,

right?

You're just like,

you know,

my fucking rock fucking solid 10 out of 10 dude.

And he's like,

I don't,

I done it before.

I don't get men.

Thank you.

All right. And that's the rant wheel.
When we come back, we'll end on a high note. And we're back.
All right. Here it is.
This week's high note. I love it.
My high note is that after just over two years of living in Minnesota, I'm moving back home to North Carolina, where all of my family is and a lot of my friends. It's going to be a big move and a big life change and kind of scary.
but also exciting because now I get to vote in the state where they probably need my vote a little more. And I'm excited to get out and canvas and volunteer and do what I can to get out the vote this election, especially knowing that Tim Walls is a great VP pick after living in Minnesota for

two years. I feel really good about him being on the ticket.
I will be living with my parents again

as an adult, which might be weird, but maybe I can convince them to watch the next season of

Survivor with me. So overall, I'm excited.
Thanks for all you do. Thanks to everybody who sent us a high note tonight.
If you want to send us a message about something that made you feel hopeful, you can send us a voice memo to lowly high notes at gmail.com. Or if you're a friend of the pod subscriber, and if you're not, you should be.
You can leave us a voice memo in the love it or leave it channel or the high notes channel for a chance to hear it on the show. All right.
That is our show. Thank you so much to Simon Rex, to Roxanne Gay, to Ashley

Ray. There are 79 days until the election.
Have a great night, shoot, time. Love It or Leave It.
It's Love It or Leave It. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production.
It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer.
Chris Lord is our producer. And Kennedy Hill is our associate producer.
Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman.
Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mohamed El-Shiki are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor.
Kyle Seglin

and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer.
And Milo Kim is our

videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure.
Thanks to our designer,

Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is

a podcast. And to our digital producers, David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroat

for filming and editing video each week so you can.

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